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2016-07-04, 06:28 PM (ISO 8601)
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LGBTAI+ #58 Infinity 2.0: The Darth Arminius Apology Thread
Notice: This is mostly a support thread. There is an LGBTAI+ Q&A Thread right here.
The AI is for All-Inclusive because we have only so much space in the title, but everyone, regardless of orientation, direction, letter, acronym or chosen astrological symbol is welcome here!
We do, unfortunately, have a few rules. We are not an anarchist state! Or, we weren't until we voted we were? But shush.
1. We are primarily a support thread.
This means that the primary focus should be in helping people here feel better; about themselves, about their lives, about their problems. We are also an education thread, but when helping someone learn involves not supporting, we will default to support - Mostly. We are only mostly human, after all.
All of the other rules are basically precisions of rule #1.
2. If you want answers to triggering topics, spoiler-box or ask them privately.
Triggering topics are those which are likely to make other people feel bad, in any way whatsoever: for instance, rape, violence, bullying and many others may be triggering to some people. If someone, even just that one individual person, has a problem with a topic because it stirs demons best left in their pit, Do. Not. Bring. It. Up. Publicly. Use a spoiler box and think carefully about whether this is the place to broach the topic at all (see rule #1: "We are primarily a support thread.")
If you have questions or need help on something that involves triggering topics, please use spoiler tags and label your spoilers for trigger warnings. When in doubt, put trigger warnings.
3. Avoid discussing politics or religion.
It doesn't matter how much these two topics intersect with our forum topic, they are verboten. Sometimes, hints are...looked over, such as, "Man, in my country being gay sucks," but detail is right out, and even that could be considered willful disregard. Be careful. As the moderators themselves often say, if you aren't sure, don't.
4. Do not discuss moral justification.
No one here is going to discuss whether or not it's Right" or "Okay" to be LGBTAEIOUsometimesY or anything else. It's not topical, it's not relevant. We are, and we are here to cope with that and with the stresses it causes.
And no, my joking acronym doesn't constitute considering this rule less important.
5. Do not post sexually explicit content.
It's against forum rules, it's against decorum, and it will get us shut down pretty fast. What adults do behind closed doors is cool, and allusion is fine. Anything that could involve a diagram, though? No.
6. Avoid unfriendly debates.
Several topics of conversation have created huge arguments that made several people uncomfortable and defied our goal of being a support thread. This is especially true debates of definition. These do not always end well, and are best avoided.
Fight Club, AKA things we do not talk about.
This thread has a past of traumatic experiences which we would rather not repeat, and some topics which have created (in)famous rows include:
- The precise distinction between bi- and pansexual;
- What is or isn't a polyamorous relationship;
- Whether transgender is more correct than transgendered.
- Whether people who have homosexual sex should be able to give blood.
(Other topics may be added to the list.)
Unless you need support or help about this, please refrain from bringing up these topics.
Also, if a conversation that is not about support runs long, spoiler it if possible, even if it is polite.
Glossary of Common Terms
For reference, here is a list of commonly-used words in our community along with their definitions. Please keep in mind that this vocabulary is constantly evolving and that this list may not be complete. Any contributions to the list are appreciated.
SpoilerLGBT: Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans*
LGBTAI: LGBT+Asexual/Aromantic/Agender+Intersex/All-Inclusive
QUILTBAG:
Q - Queer and Questioning
U - Unidentified
I - Intersex
L - Lesbian
T - Transgender/Transsexual
B - Bisexual
A - Asexual/Aromantic/Agender
G - Gay, Genderqueer
GSRM: Gender, Sexuality, and Romantic Minorities; sometimes only GSM
Where a word below is in italics, that means it has its own entry on the list.
A note on labels: many of these labels are seemingly interchangeable, and for some people they are. However, please do not presume to correct or judge another person's use of a label. Bisexual and pansexual are especially tricky in this regard, as are transgender and transsexual to a lesser degree.
Often the difference in why one person feels one label is appropriate and not another is deeply personal. If you wish to know more it is probably a topic to seek private advice on, from one of the people listed in the next section.
AFAB/AMAB: Assigned Female/Male at Birth.
Agender: Someone who lacks a gender.
Androgyne: Gender Identity with male and female aspects.
Androsexual: A person who is attracted to men.
Asexual: A person who does not feel sexual attraction.
Assignment/Assigned Gender:-The gender which someone is assigned at birth.
Bigender: Someone who identifies as both male and female (or as any two genders) either simultaneously or alternating. See also Genderqueer, Genderfluid
Binary, The: See: Gender Binary.
Bisexual: 1. attracted to two genders; 2. attracted to one's own gender and another gender; 3. attracted to various genders; 4. attracted to people regardless of gender; 5. ask the person who says they're bi what exactly they mean by that. See also Pansexual
Cis: See: Cisgender
Cisgender (CG): Somebody whose gender and sex align.
Demisexual: A person who is sexually attracted to someone only after they have formed an intense emotional relationship with them.
Dysphoria: The etymological opposite of "euphoria." A state of unease or generalized dissatisfaction. In this context, generally referring to the discomfort or dissociation Trans* people feel with their own body.
Male-to-Female (MtF): Someone who was assigned male at birth, but is female. (AKA: trans woman)
Female: See: Woman
Female-to-Male (FtM): Someone who was assigned female at birth, but is male. (AKA: trans man)
FAAB: Female Assigned at Birth.
Feminine: Something generally associated by society with women.
FFS: Facial Feminization Surgery: Surgery to reduce chin/nose/cheekbones. Associated primarily with MAAB Trans people
FtM: See: Female to Male
Gay: See: homosexual.
Gender Binary: The commonly held notion that there are only men and women on two extremes, with nothing in between.
Gender Expression (GE): How one expresses their Gender Identity to society.
Gender Identity (GI): How one feels inside society's idea of "man, woman, or other".
Genderfluid: Someone who fluctuates between different genders.
Genderqueer (GQ): Someone who is not of a binary gender; someone who is neither male nor female.
Gynosexual: A person who is attracted to women.
Heterosexual: A person who is attracted to members of the opposite gender.
Homosexual: A person who is attracted to members of their own gender.
HRT: Hormone replacement therapy. MtF's tend to progesterone, estrogens and androgen blockers, while FtM's take testosterone almost exclusively.
Lesbian: A woman who is attracted to women.
MAAB: Male Assigned at Birth.
Male-to-Female (MtF): Someone who was assigned male at birth, but is female. (AKA: trans woman)
Man/men: A cis man or trans man. Male.
Masculine: Something generally associated by society with men.
Pansexual: A person who is attracted to people regardless of gender. See also Bisexual
Polyamorous: A person who is interested in a relationship with more than one person.
Presenting: Trans* shorthand for appearing as their preferred gender, regardless of any HRT, SRS or other changes.
Trans*: Transsexual and Transgender primarily, with the asterisk denoting that the trans- prefix could be followed by any number of appropriate words. It also includes other labels, and is a catch-all term for people who identify as something other than their biological sex at birth.
Note: While "Trans*" was at one time preferred terminology, of late it has become seen as problematic for various reasons, and is being phased out of use. The preferred term at this time is simply "Trans". You use the term in the definition of dysphoria.
Also, FtM and MtF are sometimes seen as problematic, and i've been seeing a lot more 'Trans man/Trans woman' for target gender, moving on to 'Trans-feminine/Trans-masculine' which describes the direction of change, but does not define an end point.
"Transsexual" is also being phased out as being a bit obsessed with crotch bits and orientation linked either to the cis obsession with genital configuration, or the proven false idea that transgender people are just "super gay".
Transgender: Used in reference to a person whose sex(body) and gender(mind) are at odds or do not match. A transgender person can also identify as genderqueer, transsexual, or may use transgender as their only identity.
Transitioning: The process a Trans* person undergoes to move to their preferred gender. Often includes HRT, SRS, FFS.
Transsexual: In common terms the same as transgender above. In medical terms refers specifically to people who wish to transition from male to female or female to male, not accommodating any other options.
SRS: Sex Reassignment Surgery: Surgery to replace/transform a vagina into a penis, or vice versa. Mastectomies or plastic surgery may be used on breasts.
Sexual Orientation (SO): How one identifies who they are attracted to.
Significant Other(s) (SO): Person(s) you are in a relationship with.
Third-gendered: Someone who fits in a local society's third gender, usually male performing female tasks, occasionally vice versa. Also a person who feels they do not identify with any other gender identity.
Woman: A cis woman or trans woman. Female.
Allies: Heterosexual-Cisgender people who support equality for sexual, gender, and romantic minorities.
Aromantic: a person who does not experience romantic attraction.
Non-Binary: Same as Genderqueer.
Enby: Shortened form of "Non-binary".
Private Consultation.
We have a list of people who are willing and able to discuss topics that may not be thread-appropriate but are still topical. They can be reached by Personal Message (PM), thought they may not respond immediately, or may be on sabbatical.
Don't be afraid to reach out and talk to them.
Many of us on the list are more than willing to listen to your questions or concerns and will not just lash out in hostility or anger.
Spoiler: Topical Consultants
Name: Especially familiar with the topic(s) of
Absol197: Gender identity issues.
Philemonite: Relationships, depression.
Astrella: GSRM rights, feminism, trans stuff, Skype.
Chess435: Skype.
Eirala: Trans stuff (esp emotional issues), Skype(no voice or video, however).
Eldest: General/basics, bisexuality, polyamory, pansexuality will Skype(voice if needed, no video).
Enrico Dandolo (Caroline): Trans stuff, mental health, feminism, asexuality, hugs, make-up advice. PM first, Skype chat if asked.
Golentan: Mental health, fluid and questioning sexualities, and issues arising from sexual trauma.
HMS Sophia: Trans stuff (esp hormones).
inuyasha: Shoulder on which to cry, someone to listen.
Irish Musician: PM, Rants/Venting.
KenderWizard: General/basics, gender and feminism, bisexuality.
Kesnit: Trans stuff (FtM), legal issues.
Lea Plath: Genderfluidity.
Lentrax: General/basics, depression, bullying.
Lix Lorn: General/basics.
Lycunadari: Genderqueer and agendered.
Metditto: PM/Skype for L, T, GQ, BDSM(Off-thread or Spoiler Triggered), demisexual, feminism, therapy, depression, dissociative identities.
Miraqariftsky: Family issues, transfolk issues, bullying, depression
Musashi: General/basics, asexuality/demisexuality, depression.
Mystic Muse: Skype-y goodness.
noparlpf: General/basics, asexuality, greysexuality, biology, Skype.
Partysan: PM/Skype, polyamory, pansexuality, BDSM(Off-thread or Spoiler Triggered), Rants/Venting.
Socratov: Skype-ness.
TaiLiu: General Transgender information, transphobia.
Warkitty: Academic/technical discussions, Make-up advice.
Wormwood74: Transgender legal issues, transgender outside contacts.
Some people are also willing to talk off-board, through Skype or email or other means; this is especially useful if your question involves board-forbidden topics such as religion or politics. Also, we can't (and ethically shouldn't!) give medical advice. If you need medical advice, please see a professional!
And as a parting note, I will say that even though moderators do not read PMs, they are still part of the forum and still subject to forums rules. Non-allowed topics and discussion should NOT be conducted via PM.
Previous Incarnations
Like the Glorious and Unconquered Sun, we have risen, lived, died, and risen anew, with many faces, many voices, many hearts. In this past, much can be found, both good, and bad, should one be brave or perhaps, foolish, enough to seek it.
Spoiler: Past Threads- LGBT people in the playground
- LGBT people in the playground - part II
- LGBTitp - part III
- LGBTitp 4: We are a family?
- LGBTitp - Part Five
- LGBTitp - Part Six
- LGBTitp - Part Seven
- LGBTitp - Part Eight
- LGBTitp - Part Nine
- LGBTAitp - Part Ten
- LGBTAitp - Part Eleven
- LGBTAitp - Part Twelve
- LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
- LGBTAitp - Part Fourteen
- LGBTAitp - Part Fifteen
- LGBTAitp - Part Sixteen
- LGBTAitp - Part Seventeen
- LGBTAitp - Part Eighteen!
- LGBTAitp - Part Nineteen
- LGBTAitp - Part Twenty - Critical Hit!
- LGBTAitp - Part Twenty-One - BLACKJACK!
- LGBTAitP Part 22: The Best There Is
- LGBTAitP Part 23: Et tu, ~Bianca?
- LGBTAitP: Alphabet Soup-with 24 different Vitamins!
- LGBTAitP part 25: Doing Away With Subtitles
- LGBTAitP 26: No Time For Snappy Titles
- LGBTAitP 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
- LGBTAitP #28: Come Taste the Rainbow!
- LGBTAitP #29: The Rainbow Outreach Program
- LGBTAitP 30: Free Cuddles (Enquire Within)
- LGBTAitP #31: Cuddles Are On Back Order. Have Some Snuggles!
- LGBTAitp #32: The Great Plushie Invasion!
- LGBTAitp #33: The Thread at the End of the Rainbow!
- LGTAitP #34: <3!!
- LGBTAitp #35: What Midlife Crisis? :3
- LGBTAitp #36: May Contain Bites!
- LGBTAitP #37: Once upon a time...
- LGBTAitP #38: Once More With Feeling!!
- LGBTAitP #38: Making Your Way in the World Today....
- LGBTAitP #40: Technicolour Partyboat
- LGBTAitp #41 - Imprecise Terminology Supercenter
- LGBTAitp #42: Better Than Skittles/The Meaning of Life!
- LGBTAitp #43 [Insert snappy subtitle here]
- LGBTAIitP #44: Quick, We Need To Vote A New Title!
- LGBTAIitP #45: Rainbow Anarchy
- LGBTAitP #46: I Cast Prismatic Hugs
- LGBTAIitp #47: Weather Control Central
- LGBTAIitp #48: For a Cuddly Tomorrow!
- LGBTAIitp #49: Please check all baggage before boarding the Rainbow Rail Road
- LGBTAI+ #50: Warning: This Thread Has Exceeded its Maximum Awesome Level
- LGBTAI+ 51: Lay That Hammer Down!
- LGBTAI+ 52: Aces High
- LGBTAI+ 53: The Nefarious Rainbow Syndicate
- LGBTAI+ 54: A Full Deck
- LGBTAI+ 55: AKA The Page We'll Get to if I Don't Make a New One
- LGBTAI+ 56: Prismatic Spray
LGBTAI+ 57: I Love You, Always Forever
Webcomics that touch on... Well, everything related to the thread.
SpoilerVenus Envy. Long dead webcomic. The creator has chosen not to continue it and move forward in life.
Rain. A story of a MtF girl in high school.
Khaos Komix.As the creator puts it(from his site): "A complete GLBTWTFBBQ comic about gender and sexuality. (Trigger warnings for EVERYTHING and nothing is safe for work.)"
Always Raining Here. "Adrian is heartsick, Carter is horny. This is a story about their misadventures as awkward teenagers as they fumble through unrequited romances."
Tripping over you.An awkward blind date leads to better options.
Questionable Content. The LGBTA characters are fairly well done, and not stereotypes.
What's normal anyway. "What’s Normal Anyway? is a comic that discusses the trans male experience through the story of Mel, who takes the big risk of being himself and transitioning from female to male."
Princess. A webcomic.
Twokinds. Keveak: "It generally portrays GRSM matters positively and is quite a nice tale overall."
Misfile The Rose Dragon: "Ash is a young boy who, as a result of a screw-up in Heaven, gets stuck in a girl's body in a life he doesn't recognize, and has to deal with the changes and challenges of his new body while trying to get back his old life. Supernatural hijinks and car racing are involved."
Portside Stories A cute(and recently started) webcomic.
El Goonish Shive A long running webcomic, that I've heard often touches on lgbta relevant stuff.
Validation A Slice of Life webcomic focusing on Ally, a young transger woman, just living her life.
Wildflowers A self proclaimed triggering comic dealing with suicide, depression, dysphoria and more.
I know I missed a few webcomics, and if anyone finds more, feel free to PM them to me with a brief description, and I will add them.
And a picture made by the Giant to celebrate gay amrriage legalization in America.
Spoiler: Prismatic SprayLast edited by ArlEammon; 2016-07-07 at 02:00 PM.
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2016-07-04, 06:43 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: LGBTAI+ #58 Infinity 2.0: The Darth Arminius Apology Thread
You seem to have lost all the formatting. Quote the original OP before the thread is closed and copy that instead.
ze/zir | she/her
Omnia Vincit Amor
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2016-07-04, 06:48 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: LGBTAI+ #58 Infinity 2.0: The Darth Arminius Apology Thread
You seem to have lost all the formatting. Quote the original OP before the thread is closed and copy that instead.
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2016-07-04, 07:22 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: LGBTAI+ #58 Infinity 2.0: The Darth Arminius Apology Thread
And a free link to the old thread for the list: [thread=455241]LGBTAI+ 57: I Love You, Always Forever[/thread]
edit, for anyone wondering: Yes, this works, it was added... last year, maybe? There's a [post] tag too, IIRC.
Proof: LGBTAI+ 57: I Love You, Always ForeverLast edited by Siosilvar; 2016-07-04 at 07:25 PM.
ze/zir | she/her
Omnia Vincit Amor
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2016-07-04, 10:59 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: LGBTAI+ #58 Infinity 2.0: The Darth Arminius Apology Thread
So how is everyone?
I have a LOT of Homebrew!
Spoiler: Former AvatarsSpoiler: Avatar (Not In Use) By Linkele
Spoiler: Individual Avatar Pics
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2016-07-04, 11:50 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: LGBTAI+ #58 Infinity 2.0: The Darth Arminius Apology Thread
Last edited by Iethloc; 2016-07-04 at 11:51 PM.
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2016-07-04, 11:58 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: LGBTAI+ #58 Infinity 2.0: The Darth Arminius Apology Thread
I have a LOT of Homebrew!
Spoiler: Former AvatarsSpoiler: Avatar (Not In Use) By Linkele
Spoiler: Individual Avatar Pics
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2016-07-05, 01:01 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Bottom of a well
Re: LGBTAI+ #58 Infinity 2.0: The Darth Arminius Apology Thread
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2016-07-05, 01:19 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Jun 2010
Re: LGBTAI+ #58 Infinity 2.0: The Darth Arminius Apology Thread
Somewhat depressed, but it could be worse I guess. Are you holding up okay?
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2016-07-05, 05:51 AM (ISO 8601)
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- In the Playground, duh.
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2016-07-05, 09:47 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: LGBTAI+ #58 Infinity 2.0: The Darth Arminius Apology Thread
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2016-07-05, 12:08 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Jul 2014
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Re: LGBTAI+ #58 Infinity 2.0: The Darth Arminius Apology Thread
*Offers hugs for everyone who needs it*
I myself am doing okay. Stressing a bit over my job, but I should be able to handle it.I have a LOT of Homebrew!
Spoiler: Former AvatarsSpoiler: Avatar (Not In Use) By Linkele
Spoiler: Individual Avatar Pics
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2016-07-05, 01:51 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: LGBTAI+ #58 Infinity 2.0: The Darth Arminius Apology Thread
We're a page early, aren't we?
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2016-07-05, 05:01 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: LGBTAI+ #58 Infinity 2.0: The Darth Arminius Apology Thread
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2016-07-05, 05:05 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: LGBTAI+ #58 Infinity 2.0: The Darth Arminius Apology Thread
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2016-07-05, 05:18 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: LGBTAI+ #58 Infinity 2.0: The Darth Arminius Apology Thread
Punster, straight as an aro, collector of hats.
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2016-07-05, 06:58 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: LGBTAI+ #58 Infinity 2.0: The Darth Arminius Apology Thread
Well, I've lost my job and more in the last couple of weeks, and I'm also trying to fight of depression and hopelessness as I try to find something to cover my expenses in the next couple of months and generally try to put my life back together.
Oh, also, I got this rainbow bracelet at the Phoenix Pride Parade back in April, and while I've worn it a few times since then, I've decided that after the Orlando shootings I'm going to try wearing it whenever I'm out in public now.LGBTitp
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2016-07-05, 07:17 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: LGBTAI+ #58 Infinity 2.0: The Darth Arminius Apology Thread
*Offers even more hugs*
My PM box is open if you want to talk in private (either of you), whether you want to vent, be distracted by inane chatter, whatever. And regardless of if you take me up on this offer, I wish the best for both of you.I have a LOT of Homebrew!
Spoiler: Former AvatarsSpoiler: Avatar (Not In Use) By Linkele
Spoiler: Individual Avatar Pics
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2016-07-05, 07:32 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: LGBTAI+ #58 Infinity 2.0: The Darth Arminius Apology Thread
To be honest I'm the paragon of loneliness.
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2016-07-05, 08:32 PM (ISO 8601)
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2016-07-05, 08:48 PM (ISO 8601)
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2016-07-05, 09:13 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: LGBTAI+ #58 Infinity 2.0: The Darth Arminius Apology Thread
Last edited by Siosilvar; 2016-07-05 at 09:14 PM.
ze/zir | she/her
Omnia Vincit Amor
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2016-07-05, 09:36 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: LGBTAI+ #58 Infinity 2.0: The Darth Arminius Apology Thread
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2016-07-06, 01:07 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Jul 2010
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Re: LGBTAI+ #58 Infinity 2.0: The Darth Arminius Apology Thread
Just had a painful reminder yesterday that my parents are still homophobic. Found an anti-gay-marriage booklet on the dining room table. Probably handed out by my church.
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2016-07-06, 02:24 AM (ISO 8601)
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2016-07-06, 05:32 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: LGBTAI+ #58 Infinity 2.0: The Darth Arminius Apology Thread
Quotebox
Avatar by Rain Dragon
Wish building characters for D&D 3.5 was simpler? Try HeroForge Anew! An Excel-based, highly automated character builder. v7.4 now out!
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2016-07-06, 10:25 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: LGBTAI+ #58 Infinity 2.0: The Darth Arminius Apology Thread
(From the previous thread)
I was only in Dublin for one day. Now we're driving out towards Galway. The stupidly wealthy Hollywood side of the family rented an entire castle and basically invited everybody they know, so even though we haven't seen them in like five years we're visiting for a few days.
Yeah, Berlin was the hardest city for us so far. I don't know a word of German. My brother's enbyfriend's sister used to live there and she said we managed to pick the side of the city where fewer people speak English. We had less trouble in Italy; even though my Italian is pretty rudimentary I know enough and my rusty Spanish is still good enough that I could read most things and get the gist, and it seemed like a lot more people (at least in the cities) could speak fair English anyway.Jude P.
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2016-07-06, 10:45 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: LGBTAI+ #58 Infinity 2.0: The Darth Arminius Apology Thread
I'm doing well! I've just started fencing yesterday. My thighs are really sore :P I'm taking classes with both my boyfriends (and our relationships are going well). My husband used to fence in high school so he'll be giving us tips, too (although he's not joining us because his schedule and health don't really allow for it).
I'll be getting a HSG in a few days (that's a procedure in which the patient's womb is filled with dye to check if the tubes are blocked) to make sure the procedure I had 3 months ago for permanent birth control worked. I'm excited and looking forward to it being done.
And finally there is a big BBQ coming up in August at a friend's place, it's a yearly thing and there are lots of people I only see there nowadays so I'm looking forward to catching up with them.
Hopefully, everyone whose answer was less positive will feel better soon! Hugs to everyone who wants them.
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2016-07-06, 12:04 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: LGBTAI+ #58 Infinity 2.0: The Darth Arminius Apology Thread
I have a LOT of Homebrew!
Spoiler: Former AvatarsSpoiler: Avatar (Not In Use) By Linkele
Spoiler: Individual Avatar Pics
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2016-07-06, 01:37 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: LGBTAI+ #58 Infinity 2.0: The Darth Arminius Apology Thread
I'm doing well, thanks for asking! I have settled in my new apartment, my boyfriend has gotten over his "disappointment" of us not living together right away. My dad doesn't give me a hard time about having a boyfriend, in fact doesn't speak of it at all, but hey one step at a time, right? How are you, JNA? Hope the world's treatin you right.
Many thanks to Kris On A Stick for use of the avatar!