LOL DnD WotC quotes.

[Belial_the_Leveler]

Everybody knows that, along with the good books and game features WotC has printed all these years, there have been some game features, articles or responses that are less than good and others yet that are unbelievably funny-or ridiculous.

So, let's gather here quoted articles, statements or anouncements from WotC that are, intentionally or unintentionally, really, really funny. Just don't quote things out of context and note where the quote is from. Here's an example:

The monk is the only other core class, aside from the barbarian, that has no dead levels. Players always have something to look forward to with the monk, which boasts the most colorful and unique special abilities of all the character classes.

from dead levels article, http://www.wizards.com/default.asp?x=dnd/cwc/20061013a

[bosssmiley]

"The striking fist or flashing sword pales beside a psion's focused stare." - XPH, p19

Lolwut? Ludicrously bad prose. And that *twang* was my suspension of disbelief going. Such a good book, with some really bad writing.

[Shas aia Toriia]

Aaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugghh! Mind Flayer!!!

My brother and I were laughing for weeks.

[tsuyoshikentsu]

"Of all classes, fighters have the best all-around fighting capabilities (hence the name)."

*Sigh*

[Waspinator]

That is, until they wrote the Book of Nine Swords.

[RelentlessImp]

"...while paladins ironically view invisible blades as too self-absorbed." - Complete Warrior, pg45, on the Invisible Blade.

WotC, perpetuating Paladin cliches and stereotypes forevermore.

[Edea]

The BoED is chock full of lulz. I don't know where to start, assuming it's even legal to speak of it in here.

[Eldritch_Ent]

Aaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugghh! Mind Flayer!!!

My brother and I were lauging for weeks.

Which book is that from? I simply must know!


Of course, there's also the fact Deja Vu is listed twice in the XPH...

[ASCIISkull]

Nearly everything in the 4e article on rust monsters.

[Kompera]

I'm AFB, but on the Warblade they both say that the class is anathema to Dwarves, and that a lot of Dwarves would take the class. There is some mealy mouthed caveat in there, but it still very much comes across as laying down the law and then picking it right back up again. Reading it I was left with the impression that there was no editorial review at all.

[Skjaldbakka]

Of course, there's also the fact Deja Vu is listed twice in the XPH...

I appreciated that.

[AslanCross]

I'm AFB, but on the Warblade they both say that the class is anathema to Dwarves, and that a lot of Dwarves would take the class. There is some mealy mouthed caveat in there, but it still very much comes across as laying down the law and then picking it right back up again. Reading it I was left with the impression that there was no editorial review at all.

Exact quote:

Dwarves appreciate a warblade's martial prowess but might shy away from overweening praise.

It isn't such a bad statement, it's simply saying that the typical dwarf will more likely not take the class. One of the example warblades is a CN dwarf. (The example for the Bloodstorm Blade is CE) They're typically lawful and more good than not, so the examples are atypical dudes.

Where's the doubled Deja Vu? I can't find it in the XPH. o_o

[OneWinged4ngel]

Everybody knows that, along with the good books and game features WotC has printed all these years, there have been some game features, articles or responses that are less than good and others yet that are unbelievably funny-or ridiculous.

So, let's gather here quoted articles, statements or anouncements from WotC that are, intentionally or unintentionally, really, really funny. Just don't quote things out of context and note where the quote is from. Here's an example:

MUST you bring up that article? It made my eyes bleed and my throat burst into an unfetterred cry of agony for the sake of basic analytical skills!

[Laurellien]

Here's a good one

"We are not working on 4th edition and we have no plans for it."
-Every single person at WotC when asked

[Bosh]

Here's a good one

"We are not working on 4th edition and we have no plans for it."
-Every single person at WotC when asked

Cite? IIRC WotC staff was always weasely enough to SEEM to deny that 4ed was in development without ever specifically saying so.

[Crow]

Here's a good one

"We are not working on 4th edition and we have no plans for it."
-Every single person at WotC when asked

You sir, win.

[Crow]

Cite? IIRC WotC staff was always weasely enough to SEEM to deny that 4ed was in development without ever specifically saying so.

I'm too lazy to dig it all up for you, but if you head over to the Gleemax forums, there will be more than enough people who would be willing to link the threads.

[Starbuck_II]

Where's the doubled Deja Vu? I can't find it in the XPH. o_o

Page 91 and 92 under Deja Vu: look alphabetically on both pages.

[Shas aia Toriia]

Which book is that from? I simply must know!

Lords of Madness, in what I believe is the PrC Mindflayer Spawn or something similar. . .

[Kompera]

Exact quote:

Dwarves appreciate a warblade's martial prowess but might shy away from overweening praise.

It isn't such a bad statement, it's simply saying that the typical dwarf will more likely not take the class. One of the example warblades is a CN dwarf. (The example for the Bloodstorm Blade is CE) They're typically lawful and more good than not, so the examples are atypical dudes.

I'm at books now. The double talk is here:

Advancement[...] Your race matters little; anyone with the drive to win glory through combat is a good candidate for warblade training/

Races The stoic, taciturn, clan-oriented mindset of dwarves is anathema to the free-thinking, brash, and individualistic warblade.

Then, the law having been laid down "Your race matters little", picked up again "anathema to dwarves", it is then laid right back down.

Races[...] But even to, a surprising number of dwarves (often outcasts from their clans) choose to take up this path.

The only thing surprising here is that there are so many "outcast from their clans" dwarves, such that "a surprising number" can choose to become warblades. Sheesh...

[Chronos]

That is, until they wrote the Book of Nine Swords.

Or until they wrote the Barbarian, or the Cleric, or the Druid. All of which actually come earlier in the book than the Fighter, even.

[Quietus]

Everybody knows that, along with the good books and game features WotC has printed all these years, there have been some game features, articles or responses that are less than good and others yet that are unbelievably funny-or ridiculous.

So, let's gather here quoted articles, statements or anouncements from WotC that are, intentionally or unintentionally, really, really funny. Just don't quote things out of context and note where the quote is from. Here's an example:

The monk is the only other core class, aside from the barbarian, that has no dead levels. Players always have something to look forward to with the monk, which boasts the most colorful and unique special abilities of all the character classes.

from dead levels article, http://www.wizards.com/default.asp?x=dnd/cwc/20061013a

I actually find those statements to be true. They DON'T have any dead levels. They DO get abilities at each and every one, and so can always look forward to gaining that level. And you can, in fact, boast that you have more class features than any other class (after all, "spellcasting" is a single class feature). That doesn't change the fact that the monk doesn't have a specific role to fall into, which is poor design, but still.

[MrNexx]

"Of all classes, fighters have the best all-around fighting capabilities (hence the name)."

*Sigh*

When that was written, which base class had better fighting abilities (melee, not Batman or CoDzilla) abilities?

It's not a lie if it was true at the time.

[Mike_Lemmer]

Barbarians, probably. Not by much, but most fighter feats are pretty lackluster compared to rage bonuses.

[Sucrose]

A Cleric who reveals his latent zilla nature is, in fact, demonstrating fighting ability. Divinely-augmented fighting ability, but nonetheless...

[Kurald Galain]

When that was written, which base class had better fighting abilities (melee, not Batman or CoDzilla) abilities?

It's not a lie if it was true at the time.

It was false at the time, because even then, barbarians upstage fighters even if the double power attack bonus didn't exist yet.

However, WOTC believed it to be true - they wrote columns stating that in rage, the barbarian comes close to being a match for a fighter, but out of rage he is not even close (which is how they justified giving the barb actual class abilities and skills).

[Laurellien]

And now that we have the complete series, Barbarian just owns.

[tsuyoshikentsu]

The feat COMBINATIONS in Core available only to a Fighter -- IE, those combos which are only available because they require nine feats or more -- just aren't good enough to compensate for all of the stuff a Barbarian gets. And when you get to feat combos with eight or lower, Barbarians can take them too.

Do not talk to me about Fighter-feat feat combos in Core, because they involve the phrases "Weapon Specialization" and "Greater Weapon," both of which are automatically wrong.

[AslanCross]

*snip*

Oh, there we go. >_o You're right.