I think it's the disappointment. The Original Trilogy makes the Jedi seem truly mythical, noble protectors from better days, but when we actually meet them in the Prequels they're a staid bureaucracy who spend the entire trilogy fumbling in the dark while Palpatine spins the ball on his finger.
People expected nothing from the Senate and nothing from the bad guys, but the Jedi were supposed to be cool and wise and they really weren't.
There is a reasonable argument that they're completely cooked by the end of AOTC. Like Palpatine has them in complete checkmate and are only spared as long as they are because Palpatine has other business to tend to that needs to happen before he goes full mask off.
That said, yes pulling out of the war is literally their only good option. It will still be disastrous, but they might be able to hold the actual order together and retreat to the Outer Rim.
I do think "are the Jedi right" is a pretty fair question to be asking. Stuff like the Jedi recruiting force sensitive children and taking them from their families is pretty questionable in ways the film clearly wants to explore. I do not think we are meant to understand Anakin leaving Shmi behind as a good thing, ultimately.
Again, did the Jedi do everything right. Accepting an army of slave soldiers no questions asked and appointing yourselves generals is pretty dubious, and that choice gets the vast majority of the Jedi killed.
It basically has to be Obi-Wan. He's the only one who has enough of a connection to Anakin that he could sway him, which is why George writes him as being somewhere else.
Clone Wars also makes Ahsoka viable, and she is also conveniently elsewhere.