Interesting Dispel Magic Questions

[Blatant Beast]

I'm not ignoring the text. I'm saying that it is irrelevant. A range of "self" does not mean that the magical effect resides on the caster (i.e. shadow blade, spirit guardians, etc.) It just means that "self" is the target of the spell, and thus it is created there.

So you contend you cast a spell at a 'Target of self' but the spell does not actually land on the target, but instead becomes an independent free floating vapor.

So an Alter Self spell is not actually on the target, despite altering their body?
A Detect Thoughts spell is not actually on the caster, nor is Divine Favor?

I would imagine the rules would point out that spells with a Range of Self are immune to Dispel Magic, since as the Sage Advice Compendium states: "Dispel magic has a particular purpose: to break other spells" or when SAC mentions: "For example, if you cast dispel magic on a staff of power, the spell fails to disrupt the staff’s magical properties, but if the staff’s wielder casts hold monster from the staff, dispel magic can end that spell if cast on the target of hold monster."

We have already established the PHB states as the first sentence of Range: "The target of a spell must be within the spell's range."

So definitionally, all spells of Self target the caster....but for some spells the magic just does not linger on the target, but becomes a free floating vapor, with no rules exception that explains why?

When PCs reach zero hit points they fall unconscious, unless they have an specific ability that states they do not. What makes Spirit Guardians, Target the caster, but not magically linger unlike all other spells? Are you truly contending that all spells with a Range of Self, are free floating vapors, not subject to Dispel Magic cast upon the caster?

Great Googly moogly!