“I thought it best to be honest with you and with myself about that,” John observed contritely. “He’s a diplomat from one of Hell’s foremost Houses. I’d be surprised if he didn’t have that effect on me, given the time I am spending with him. Lying about it seems like it would be a step in the wrong direction.”
I’m not sure if it helps or not, John confessed, but I am worried about me as well. If I fail, it could doom Iron Station. If I succeed, I will know I can do it and the temptation will always be there. It’s the kind of situation that the phrase damned if you do, damned if you don’t was made for.
For what it’s worth, I promise to be careful and Raphael says I won’t be facing it alone. I think that was a whether I want his help or not kind of a thing.