Originally Posted by
Sigako
2. Don't understand this part. Maybe it's just my English, I cannot parse this statement to make sense of it.
I simply disclose all these problems in my dating profile (it's mostly pointless to seek a gay mate in real world in Russia), mainly because I believe in honesty and this is an important detail, and myself trying to look for someone with lines like "sex is not important". Well, turns out it's an euphemism for "it's still critical, not I have other needs too". I've found said ace randomly, but we didn't like each other (and later he blogged on his socnetwork page why you shouldn't date people with such issues).
Ok, to be precise, currently I've left all dating services around last autumn because I see no point. Thought I'd try my luck with ridding of such urges, but alas, as you just wrote.
EDIT: What really stresses me out is a double-bind: on the one hand it's "an important part of yourself, and you shouldn't deny it, blah-blah-blah", on the other - to get meaningful relationship you have to be worthy, and said worth is not always dependent on your choices, sometimes you cannot do a thing about what's wrong with you.
All therapists I've met simply regurgitated the same drivel in the first point - "you do you, blah-blah-blah", until the cows come home. The last one actually gave in after I confronted them - they have no idea what to do either, but they charge per hour, and everyone wants to eat.
The only meaningful thing I've managed to find by myself is that whole this system is Goedel incomplete, and you can actually get caught in contradiction without any resolution. But for some reason a suicide isn't an exit either, and everyone tries to guilt-trip me out of it as soon as they hear about it (no worries: I'm the coward among the cowards, won't do anything reckless here).