LGBTAIitp Part 60: Still Going Strong

[Sigako]

Ok.

Spoiler: whining

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I have some nasty skin condition (basically, boils all over most part of the body surface), and doctors couldn't do anything with it for about a decade before I simply gave up, and on top of that I'm not the most pleasant person to have around - somewhat autistic and often abrasive.
Skin stuff means there's no sex for me, period. Turns out, most people have no use for a partner they cannot have sex with - the ones actually answering me in dating services usually haven't read my profile, and even the ones that do usually ghost on me shortly after. Actually, I cannot even blame them.
I hear sometimes that I should move to another country, but I don't see a point - the problem is in me, not in the attitude of the people surrounding me, homophobia and related stuff isn't the limiting factor.

For a long time I was somewhat chill about it - I invented some sort of philosophy justifying me being alone and focused on other stuff in my life. Several years later that stopped working - most of my other pursuits turned to be dead ends, I remembered that I'm not getting younger, it became too tiresome to deceive myself - actually, dunno, what was the exact cause.

Now I'm sort of stuck - I cannot distract myself from my sexuality, but all my attempts to find a mate are doomed before start, and it's driving me nuts.
Is there a way to "shut down" your sexuality and romatic urges, since in my case it does not do me any good? Also, one of my biggest fears is that if I actually find some good man, it'll turn out I cannot reciprocate the feelings (see above - autistic), and this will turn into a shaggy dog story.

And the rule of the internet which number I forgot: nobody cares.