Some stuff has been coming up lately that I don't understand how to deal with. It's been suggest a few times that I should go back to therapy. Around here, I'm not exactly private about the fact that I'm usually in a pretty dark place mentally, so therapy makes sense. At least as far as advice that someone might give.

So I started thinking back to why my last therapists didn't work out. I feel like they had different goals for me than what I did. I've mentioned before that I used to want to make comic books, it didn't end well for me. I feel like it would be better if I could let go and move on, but all of the therapists I've had tried to get me to go back to it. I get why, they're trying to be encouraging and helpful. Giving me a push in an emotionally fulfilling direction. To me though it just feels like reopening something that never quite healed.

An artist whose social media I follow started posting excerpts from a project she's doing, about Actualizing Your Creative Desires. Again, she's trying to do something positive, helpful and encouraging and it seems to work for people that are not me. For me though, it just made me really upset. As much as I'd like to move on from my unfortunate stint as a cartoonist and do something constructive with my life, I feel like reality is actively fighting me. (Yes, I know how crazy that sounds.)