Personal Woes and Advice 6

[ve4grm]

I would caution that asking more than once isn't always a problem though. It could mean that it was poorly explained the first time - or, more generously, that the explanation the first person gave didn't work well for them. It could mean that they're getting too much information too quickly or being expected to do too much too early, which results in not retaining all the information. In my experience that last one is very common. I've been dealing with the first one at my current job though - the explanations are given by the guy who knows how to do everything and tends to forget to mention a lot of things because of that.

Yeah, even asking more than once isn't an issue. More than twice might be, depending on context. But I have tasks for my job that I have to ask how to do (or google how to do) almost every time I do them because they come up so rarely.

I once got a poor review from a trainer because I "asked too many questions" and I was only asking how to do things once, then sometimes asking for clarification on what the goals of those things were. It was solely because the person training me wasn't great at training, and (more importantly) didn't want to be training.

As I got into my actual career, I've come to hold my willingness to ask questions and drive to understand what I'm being asked to do as one of my most valuable tendencies.

In most professional settings, I don't expect new people to really preform to the correct level for a full year. My biggest rule of thumb for new people is " Do they ever ask the same question more than once?" If they are not asking more than once, then they will get where they need to be eventually.

On an unrelated note, my attempts at dating have gone poorly. It's either hit a dating site with the general public and go through tons of women who are uninteresting to find someone who shares interest with me, or hit up the geek dating sites and hope the few women who are on them will notice me through the literal tidal wave of other men. Worse, considering that rule zero of online dating is don't be a creeper; its super frustrating when most of the other guys on the sites can't even clear that bar, and I'm still not getting any contact back.

No advise needed, just needed to rant. On the plus side, there is a dating event at an upcoming convention I'm planning to attend. So that will be nice.

Good luck at the con dating! I don't have much advice for the online dating besides to keep putting yourself out there, keep sending messages when you're interested (and asking leading questions so they have good reason to message back) and keep not being a creeper! Be interesting, and you might break through the wall of creep.

Also, don't be afraid to message the women on the general dating sites who seem nice but don't necessarily state that they share your geeky interests. Some have just never gotten a chance to try and will enjoy them with you, and some may not but will at least respect your interests and help you enjoy them. My gaming group has a mix of people with and without gaming spouses and all are quite happy because the non-gamers still respect and enable the geek hobbies.

Speaking from experience, yes it's amazing to find a significant other who enjoys your geeky hobbies with you, but you might be excluding some truly wonderful people who you could enjoy a great life with.

Good luck!