So this may sound a little weird, but I really don't know what to do.

When I was growing up, my dad and I were really close. I didn't have a bad relationship with mom - we got along fine actually - but I was closer to dad.

After I went to college and then moved out on my own, my relationship with both my parents cooled a little, simply because of distance. I only saw them a few times a year. When I was 30, I came out as trans, which Mom did not take well. A few years later, I went back to school and ended up far enough away that getting home for holidays was not feasible. Mom chose not to come to my graduation since I was graduating under my male name, but Dad (and my now-in-laws) did attend. A few months after graduation, I got married. Dad knew about the wedding, but was not there since he needed to keep Mom occupied so she didn't notice my aunts (who were also invited) were not responding to her e-mails (since they were out of town at my wedding). One of my most painful memories is calling Dad the day after the ceremony to talk to him and hearing him cry because he had not been able to be there.

More years passed. My parents ended up moving several hours away, which made spending time with them very hard. It got to the point that I would call and e-mail, but that was it.

My mother passed away suddenly last November. Since then, I have seen Dad more than I had in the years prior. He e-mails me and my aunts (his sisters) almost daily, and I e-mail several times a week. He's stopped by for a few visits on his way north to spend a week with his family. He told me that he would prefer to e-mail rather than me call because talking on the phone is too painful for him. I can understand this. (As an aside, Dad is taking me and my wife on a week vacation next February. One of my aunts is going as well.)

My aunt however, is encouraging me to reach out more to Dad. I would really like to, but I just don't know how. I don't want to make him uncomfortable talking to him on the phone, but e-mail feels a little...impersonal. I just don't know what to do.