Ah hello again. I'm feeling down today for semi stupid reasons. I think the last time I posted here I mentioned that I thought a woman had a crush on me. Found out by talking to a third party that she probably doesn't because she is engaged*. Now I am sorry if it seems like I am about to launch into some stupid sexist complaint because I am not. I take full responsibility for misinterpreting things. I'm just not used to people actually going out of their way to talk to me. I predict friendly conversations will most likely continue in the future.

Mostly I am posting because of just how my brain has decided to handle it. Basically I am feeling much more depressed than I was a few days ago. Which is really bad given my previous experiences with depression. And I am of course feeling like I shouldn't talk to my parents about this. Mostly I am feeling kind of hopeless again and questioning why I even bother to keep living. Plus I have a mental diatribe cursing the false promises of hope. How I only feel so down because I had hoped that things could change. But they can't. And the experience has left me worse off than before.

*Small chance the person I learned this from thought I was talking about one of the three other women with the same name who work at the shelter I volunteer at.