Hilgya: a redemption arc?

[Lord Joeltion]

She did assume he felt like she does about Dwarven customs.

She could have asked

Of course both made very naive assumptions. The problem is that one assumption isn't more valid than the other. But "assuming your partner isn't lying" is a risk you yourself are willing to take and that it can only hurt you, not the other. On the other hand "assuming your partner won't be bothered by X" is something that affects both of you. So, even if both are equally stupid, Hilgya was the more inconsiderate about the other's feelings. Just as Durkon was with her a couple seconds after when he dumped her broke her heart. From my perspective, both have things to excuse about.