# Forum > Discussion > Friendly Banter >  Holidays with My Family

## Kesnit

No, this is not a rant about my family. Quite the opposite...

In 2006, something happened that caused a rift between me and a certain family member. Although we continued to speak, being together was very awkward. Thankfully, I lived several hours away, so we only saw each other on holidays

In 2009, I moved about 13 hours away to go back to school. Given the distance and the cost of traveling, I decided to stay where I was in school rather than try to get back for the holidays. 

In 2012, I graduated and moved back to where I had been before, which is also where my by-now-in-laws live. (This is a good thing. I have a great relationship with my wife's family.) For the next 5 years, I spent holidays with my in-laws. 

In 2017, my wife and I moved to another state. However, we still went back and spent the holidays with her family. 

In 2018, the person that was causing the problem in my family passed away. 

In 2020, my wife's parents moved to where my wife and I live. The rest of her family now came to us for the holidays. 

This past January, my father-in-law passed away. My mother-in-law now lives with us. (Again, this is not a bad thing. I have a great relationship with her.) 

In the past 13 years, I have seen some of my family. My dad came to my graduation in 2012. He stops by on his way to spend Christmas with the family and spends a few days with us. One of my cousins came to my wedding. When the family member died, my aunts and uncles came to the memorial service. My wife and I have gone on vacation with my dad for the past 3 years. One of my aunts went with us in 2020. 

But it hit me yesterday that I haven't spent a holiday with my family in over a decade. I know they get together at Christmas because my aunt tells me about it, but I haven't gone. I didn't really think about it because for so long, I could not go. My cousin's kids are growing up; one is in college now and I haven't seen her since she was in elementary school. I suspect most of them would have no idea who I am. 

There is no way we could go this year. (We don't have a pet sitter.) I'm sure with a year to plan, we can work something out for next year. But right now, it hurts. I didn't realize how much, but it does.

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## TaiLiu

That's hard. I really hope you'll be able to spend time with them next year and many more years afterward.

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## Scarlet Knight

Ok, I know this isn't what the OP intended, but on a cheerier note, the holidays're coming along with great food. What is your favorite thing to eat for the holiday?

Mine is lobster tails in red sauce that we only get on Christmass eve ( due to the cost).

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