# Forum > Play-by-Post Games > Message Board Games >  Find a use for the useless magic item above you

## somethingrandom

Each poster posts a Name and description of a useless magic item and how they might make use of the useless item the poster above them posted. 
While not out right forbidden it is discouraged to post uses that do not make use of the items magical or unusual properties and should only be done if the game has stalled.

Liar's Pendent
_A pendent depicting a laughing god of lies._
While worn openly this pendent grants the wearer a +10 bonus to bluff checks made to lie. This item grants no bonus to bluff checks made for other reasons such as to feint in combat. While wearing the pendent the wearer can not say anything they know or believe to be true.
Unfortunately due to overuse by a previous owner the pendent has become famous and as a result no one will believe anything the wearer says while wearing it.

----------


## Ironsmith

Make a facsimile and go for double-bluffs. Once that's well-known enough, switch the two pendants out as needed.

_Oracular Staff (Defective)_
This staff answers simple questions at will, as though its wielder had cast _Augury_ (Caster Level 3rd). The staff is also intelligent and answers based on its desires, which include a wish to see its wielder come to (non-lethal) harm (it finds this funny).

----------


## Unavenger

Three obvious uses spring to mind:

1) The easy one: it's a magical quarterstaff still, which means it should deal with DR/magic (or the newfangled "Resistance to nonmagical bludgeoning, slashing and piercing damage" that the kids seem to be so into these days).
2) The less easy one: the quarterstaff wishes to _see_ its wearer come to _nonlethal_ harm, meaning that you should be able to avoid circumstances that will lead to your separation from the staff, the destruction of the staff, or your death, as it can't see you come to nonlethal harm if you're dead or it's broken or it can't see you. The item's mental ability modifiers should all be at _least_ neutral if it's a standard intelligent item in that regard, so it should be able to work that all out and have some concept of long-term planning.
3) The actively difficult one: intelligent items have _okay_ mental scores, but not _great_, and tend not to have bluff trained. If your sense motive (what's that? Insight? Is that what you kids are calling it these days GET OFF MY LAWN) is high enough, you should just be able to use the staff as an at-will staff of augury.

Next:

_Ring of extra ring slot_
This ring allows the wearer to use an additional ring when worn.

----------


## Dire Moose

Can be used with the right metamagic feats to grant additional ring slots.

_Blade of Toxic Attitude_
A sword that loudly and annoyingly insults its wielder whenever they fail to hit or damage the target.

----------


## Ironsmith

A great gag gift for your Fighter friend who is thinking of multiclassing to Barbarian.

_Wishing Coin_
A gold-piece-sized coin that can grant a _Wish_ if tossed into a well or other body of water. However, it can't "hear" anyone above the water's surface, nobody other than the user may redeem the _Wish_, and entering the same body of water as the coin causes the magic to become impotent.

----------


## Dr.Gunsforhands

The way you worded that, one assumes you simply speak your wish before throwing it... if that doesn't work, then it's because of a technicality, in which case you toss it into a glass and then hold the glass over your head so you're not technically "above" the surface.

Discount Scroll of Kakapolymorph
This scroll of _Baleful Polymorph_ is cheaper and easier to use than normal, but anyone learned enough to use it can tell that its scriber took some shortcuts. It only ever targets the caster, and it only ever polymorphs them into a brightly-colored flightless parrot.

----------


## totadileplayz

Well, besides the people who identify as a parrot out there. 
The answer is simple. Enslave a wizard, make them cast the spell on themselves, on the threat of death, and Then Awaken them later, for your pirate campaign. An Awakened Parrot that can't fly is all good, and hey the wizard might have kept his intelligence, making it with the right feat investments in the future, possible for the parrot to be a Wizard. A Wizard parrot as a captain of a crew, having a parrot like that is bound to be useful, and no one would think about harming a parrot, during a pirate fight. 

The Ring of Sapience.
You must be sapient to wear the ring, the ring when worn makes the wearer sapient.

----------


## Ironsmith

Use _Fox's Cunning_ to make an animal friend sapient, then put the ring on them to make it semi-permanent.

_Amulet of Devastation_
This cursed amulet has a 1% chance each round to cast a Maximised _Disintegrate_, targeting a random item or creature within a two-foot radius, except for the wearer. Items worn or carried by the wearer (except for the amulet) are still valid targets for the amulet.

----------


## Dr.Gunsforhands

I'm assuming that, "plant this on a cheap construct as a magic trap," is too generic an answer for this thread, but you can use this to hide a body or break through a wall easily enough. It'll take time and require that you strip naked, but on average it's still faster than acid and pickaxes.

Fountain of Aging (Artifact) _(Futurama)_
Technically more of a magic location than an item, but it can be broken down, transported on three wagons and reassembled elsewhere with a couple days of work. Those immersed in its waters age at a rate of 1 year per round.

----------


## ziproot

You can hold someone in the pool to force them to age.

Scroll of Very Explosive Runes
It lets you cast Explosive Runes except you cannot prevent anyone from triggering it, including yourself.

----------


## Ironsmith

Cast the runes in a language you can't read. A good supplement for Barbarians.

_Diabolical Mark_
This tattoo, when applied, causes the bearer to be attractive to Demons and Devils, as well as attracted by them. The mark does not in any way guarantee that Demons and Devils will not harm them, only that they merit special attention. Once per day, at the DM's discretion, the _Mark_ causes a Demon or Devil to appear within 30 feet of the wearer (DM's choice), as though called there by a _Planar Ally_ spell.

----------


## Dr.Gunsforhands

You laugh, but games use items like this a lot, right? When you first encounter it, it's strong enough to constitute a boss fight, but in the players' hands you find that it's _significantly_ nerfed. It would probably be straight-up busted in an evil campaign, unless the DM is smart and only has it summon lemures or whatever, in which case: sweet, free lemures!


Beary Curious Plush

At night, this huggable children's toy becomes a tiny construct that can walk around on its own. It gains the attention of whoever seems to be its owner and attempts to take their hand and lead them somewhere. The bear will not wander off, but sits still or follows its owner until someone takes its plushie hand to follow it. The bear doesn't actually know where it's going, save for trying to get far away from where it started; when it must pick a direction, it does so randomly. If one lets it, it will lead its owner in this manner until morning, at which point it falls limp until the next night.

----------


## Ironsmith

As a roleplaying item, it's a good way to avoid choice paralysis. Not just in exploration, either; give it the right layout, and it can effectively produce random numbers in-universe.

More practically, give it to an annoying NPC and tell them it's a magic gold detector. If nothing else, it should get them away from prying eyes.


_Portable Trapdoor_
This plank of wood acts similarly to a _Portable Hole_, except it exclusively creates a vertical 15-foot hole, covered by an outward-opening trapdoor. The trapdoor itself has a pair of hinges which must be bolted to the floor in order for the magic to work; removing the hinges or destroying the door cuts off access to the hole.

----------


## Thunder999

Use it to give your wagon, ship, airship etc. a convenient basement, alternatively simply carry a large stone slab around with it bolted on.  

*Movable Rod*
This rod is a flat iron bar with a small button on one end. When the button is pushed the rod levitates in place, even the faintest breeze is enough to move the effectively weightless rod, preventing it from supporting weight.

----------


## Dr.Gunsforhands

It's just a neutrally-buoyant balloon, then, right? Imagine a pulley attaching this to a small weight on the other end, slightly lighter than the rod itself in its off state. When activated, the weight is easily enough to pull the rod upwards and to turn some gears in the process. Now, press the switch again: now heavier, the rod drops, pulls up the weight, lands on its switch to reactivate itself, and returns to its original position, ready to be triggered again. This item is a key component to a self-resetting trap and explains how they stay functional in even the most ancient dungeons.

Next up: *Oil of Demagnetization*
_When applied to a solid object, this oil neutralizes its electromagnetic properties, causing it to effectively behave as though it were made of wood. Ferrous metals will not react to a magnetic field nor conduct electricity, for instance. Living creatures' conductive bits are considered fluid and are pointedly not affected by this item._

----------


## Ironsmith

"Demagnetizer? Oh, yeah. Our Rogue carries that wherever they go. She says it's really useful to be able to selectively de-magnetize things while she's using her magnet to pick locks. And it's hell on compasses; last week, we stopped an invading force by getting them lost in the desert. Point being, I'll take three gallons."

*Hand Grenade*
This metal sphere, when thrown, explodes into a pile of (inanimate) hands. Close examination shows that the hands are not even severed; they've grown skin around the stump, closing off the entire inside at the wrist.

----------


## totadileplayz

> "Demagnetizer? Oh, yeah. Our Rogue carries that wherever they go. She says it's really useful to be able to selectively de-magnetize things while she's using her magnet to pick locks. And it's hell on compasses; last week, we stopped an invading force by getting them lost in the desert. Point being, I'll take three gallons."
> 
> *Hand Grenade*
> This metal sphere, when thrown, explodes into a pile of (inanimate) hands. Close examination shows that the hands are not even severed; they've grown skin around the stump, closing off the entire inside at the wrist.


Hand Transplants. While they aren't severed you can severe them. Alternatively fake hands, useful in numerous gags. And as a Weapon, people will tend to go for cover when their enemy throws something they don't know about at them, and shout hand grenade incoming. All 3 are useful for one reason or another.

*The Stick of Truth*
Can only be used on small wood-land critters when they bite the stick they will fully recount their lives in their native woodland critter tongue.

----------


## Kazyan

In D&D 3.5, gnomes can cast _speak with animals_ (burrowing mammals only) as a spell-like ability, so they can use the Stick of Truth to get a history of an area they're exploring as soon as they can find a squirrel.

*Waterless Waterskin*
Any water poured into this waterskin disappears. Any other contents are unaffected and can be retrieved normally.

----------


## Ironsmith

> *Waterless Waterskin*
> Any water poured into this waterskin disappears. Any other contents are unaffected and can be retrieved normally.


*moans in alchemist*
"Do you have *any* idea how many ingredients need to be kept dry to be useful? Or how many reactions are complicated by the ubiquitous presence of moisture? You just made my day, kid!"

*Philter of Tears*
This tiny glass vial continually refills itself with saltwater. If full, it will stop and instead emit a vaguely disturbing sobbing sound.

----------


## ziproot

> *moans in alchemist*
> "Do you have *any* idea how many ingredients need to be kept dry to be useful? Or how many reactions are complicated by the ubiquitous presence of moisture? You just made my day, kid!"
> 
> *Philter of Tears*
> This tiny glass vial continually refills itself with saltwater. If full, it will stop and instead emit a vaguely disturbing sobbing sound.


With the right desalinization, you can use this as an infinite water source. If you don't like the noise you can muffle it or use some sort of silence object.

EDIT: Oh right, the item.

Magical Toothpick
Deals 1 point of damage upon contact, ignoring AC.

----------


## Ironsmith

Well, since it auto-hits, it makes for a terrific vector for delivering injury-based poisons. Failing that, gather up a few hundred of them and go Tarrasque hunting.

_Counterfeiter's Coin_
This gold coin, when pressed firmly against a piece of currency, alters its size, shape, color, and other physical properties to match. The transformation lasts for 24 hours.

V: How is having one (fake) copper coin free money?

----------


## totadileplayz

> Well, since it auto-hits, it makes for a terrific vector for delivering injury-based poisons. Failing that, gather up a few hundred of them and go Tarrasque hunting.
> 
> _Counterfeiter's Coin_
> This gold coin, when pressed firmly against a piece of currency, alters its size, shape, color, and other physical properties to match. The transformation lasts for 24 hours.


This gold coin is literally free money. Yes, it will turn back eventually but so long as you gain a ton of copper coins you have consistent free money. 

*The Pain stick*
This stick causes no hp damage, but will cause a momentary amount of pain just like if they were struck by a cat o 9 tails. This pain lasts for 1 second before fading.

----------


## Thunder999

That sounds perfect for torture, all the pain with no risk of accidentally killing them.   

*Feather Token: Feather*
Upon speaking the command word this magical grey feather turns into a white feather for one hour before disappearing.

----------


## Dr.Gunsforhands

You can screw someone over in the afterlife by switching this with the feather the angels are weighing their heart against.

New item! *Boots of Mage Foot*

These boots let you cast a version of _Mage Hand_ 3 times per day, but you can only manipulate objects as though with your boot-covered foot. It still can't deal damage, and it can still exert a maximum of 5 pounds of force.

----------


## Ironsmith

Bowling shoes. Need I say more?

_Incense of Cloudy Vision_
Meditating while in an enclosed space with this burning incense causes a _Vision_, as the spell. However, without exception, the _Vision_ is false, to varying degrees. Roll on the table below to determine how accurate the _Vision_ is.

*d6*
*Result*
*Example*

1
The vision is trivially wrong. Some small detail is inaccurate, but that detail is not relevant to the interpretation of the vision.
You see the scene of the Emperor being assassinated. The event comes to pass, but the assassin is wearing a different-colored robe than in your vision.

2
A small, but important, detail of the vision is wrong.
You see the scene of the Emperor being assassinated. The event comes to pass, but the assassin is someone other than in your vision.

3
The circumstances of the vision are inaccurate, but the event comes to pass regardless.
You see the scene of the Emperor being assassinated. The Emperor is indeed assassinated, but by means of being smothered in his sleep (and not stabbed in the back by the maid, as you saw in your vision).

4
The vision is only metaphorically true; all literal interpretations of the vision are false.
You see the scene of the Emperor being assassinated. He lives, but his assassination is an allegory for the fall of the Empire.

5
The vision is a lie.
You see the scene of the Emperor being assassinated. He lives a long and happy life.

6
The vision is wrong in more ways than one. The DM chooses two or more of the above.
You see the scene of the Emperor being assassinated. The Emperor doesn't die; the vision warns metaphorically of his being removed from power by a traitorous general. The vision also pins the blame on the wrong general, and fails to mention that the Emperor really will die shortly thereafter; by accident, in a manner unrelated to the coup.

----------


## Korith

I mass produce that stuff and start a Vision Hotline. Just sending to the likeness of this cute little imp with your question, and we'll have one of our acolytes burn the stuff and ask it for you, and give you the answer! Only 30000gp per call!

_Mordenkainen's Laser Pointer_

This magic item causes a tiny red dot to appear on a creature you can see within 100ft.

----------


## Dr.Gunsforhands

Meow. Meow! Meow meow meow meow.

Next item: *Ring of the Worst Uncle*

When someone pulls on the finger wearing this ring, it emits a, "pbbphbthphtpht," sound and exudes a harmless but noticeable odor.

----------


## totadileplayz

> Meow. Meow! Meow meow meow meow.
> 
> Next item: *Ring of the Worst Uncle*
> 
> When someone pulls on the finger wearing this ring, it emits a, "pbbphbthphtpht," sound and exudes a harmless but noticeable odor.


Corny jokes to annoy the children. Puts people at ease far easier then you might think. If your a vampire and do that joke, or a skeleton people may not laugh but the tension isn't going to be nearly as tense as it once was. 

*Twine of Nose-Gobbler Detecting*
This small centimeter long twine glows as strong as a candle whenever it is within 5 feet of the Goblin Nose-Gobbler that currently lives with his tribe. It is believed this was made to humor a bored goblin mage.

----------


## Thunder999

If you happen to be said nose gobbler it is a convenient alternative to a candle, handy when you need to see colours that your darkvision doesn't show and with less risk of accidentally setting yourself on fire.   

*Ring of Visibility* 
This simple gold band slips easily on or off a creature's finger, resizing as necessary and causes them to be outlined in a magical glow, allowing them to be easily seen even when invisible or hidden by fog or darkness.

----------


## Ironsmith

Good for coordinating the party in darkness. Alternatively, the city might use a non-removable variant to track important prisoners.

*Ring of Spirit Calling*
This simple iron band, when worn, causes the wearer to undergo vivid audio hallucinations when in the presence of alcohol. The hallucinations take the form of voices speaking the wearer's native language, engaging in various forms of small talk. The voices are not sentient and do not respond to any speech on the wearer's part.

----------


## Bucky

In areas where alcohol is illegal, the customs agents use it to detect hidden contraband. The effect is obvious if their native language isn't commonly spoken here.

*Oven of the Wrathful Bread* 
Any food baked in this oven roars when eaten and becomes painfully hot when chewed, inflicting a point of fire damage with each bite.

----------


## Thunder999

It allows anyone with fire resistance to enjoy a hot meal on the road without a campfire, just get some bread baked in this wondrous oven and enjoy hot sandwiches on the go.

*Locket of Holding*
This incredible silver locket connects to a small extradimensional space capable of holding 50lb of material without affecting the weight of the locket, objects so stored are in no danger of falling out when the locket is open, requiring the wearer to deliberately reach in and remove them. The opening is the size of a copper piece and spells may not cross this boundary.

----------


## Ironsmith

Two words: snack compartment.

*Sash of Corpulence*
This cursed sash causes its wearer to rapidly gain weight in the form of body fat, at a rate of 10 lbs per day. This change is semi-permanent in nature, irreversible while the sash is worn and not reverting if the sash is removed (though it can be worked off when the sash's influence is gone).

----------


## paddyfool

Survive a famine situation.

Boots of two left feet: These boots move by themselves... in all the wrong ways. Take a -5 magic penalty on any perform (dance) checks and reduce any Dex bonus to AC by 2. Once put on, you need either a Remove curse spell or to hold them in a fire until you take at least 10hp fire damage to remove them; in the latter case they jump off your feet and out of the fire by themselves, and appear undamaged.

----------


## Dr.Gunsforhands

I think this may cross the line between useless and deliberately cursed... oh! Wait! That name... it implies the existence of a sister pair. If we could only find the Boots of Two Right Feet and recombine them, then they will no doubt become extremely powerful!

Next! +2 Chalice! _(No description given. I think it gives +2 on... cup... checks?)_

----------


## Tom the Mime

Wardrobe malfunctions for female adventurers will be a thing of the past with the bonus to cup checks. 

Wand of warning: wand loudly alerts everyone nearby when the user is about to cast any spell.

----------


## Ironsmith

"Give me your money or I'll disintegrate you." "He'll freaking do it, man, this guy is not stable."

*Flex Goo*
This viscous fluid is totally indivisible; it will never, ever separate from itself, though it can be stretched, molded, or otherwise manipulated like putty. It has no other noteworthy properties.

----------


## Thunder999

Sounds like a magical children's toy to me, like playdough or that slime stuff, they can mold it and stretch it all they want, but it won't split up, so you never need to worry about them getting it stuck in your carpet or on your walls.   

*Dust of Wetness*
When this strange powder makes contact with any amount of water it instantly transforms into water. This produces a volume of water equal to the volume of dust.

----------


## paddyfool

Sounds like a reasonable children's toy, or a base substance for a hard-to-damage slime. Ninja'd

Dust of Wetness sounds like a good way to have a hidden water supply for a fortified location, assuming it's plentiful. Also could be used before an electricity trap probably. 

*Amulet of Channelling Dual Energies*
This amulet can channel either positive or negative energy. The trouble is, you can't predict which it does. Once per day you may activate the amulet, specify a target, and then you have a 50% chance to cast Cure Moderate Wounds as if you were a level 5 cleric, vs a 50% chance to cast Inflict Moderate Wounds as if you were a level 5 cleric.

----------


## Bucky

That's a 50% chance to instantly revive a teammate who's bleeding out. It's also a 50% chance to instantly kill them, but sometimes the alternative is to leave them to die.


*Boots of the Elocater*
These boots grant the ability to fly, but with an altitude limit of one foot. The surface underneath must be able to support the wearer or else they fall.

----------


## ziproot

> That's a 50% chance to instantly revive a teammate who's bleeding out. It's also a 50% chance to instantly kill them, but sometimes the alternative is to leave them to die.
> 
> 
> *Boots of the Elocater*
> These boots grant the ability to fly, but with an altitude limit of one foot. The surface underneath must be able to support the wearer or else they fall.


This can let you get into the Dwarven lands. For a more serious answer, it can also let you go over traps activated by stepping on them or something similar.

*Wand of Random Teleportation*
This wand casts a _teleport_ spell that takes you to a random location on your plane of existence. You must have enough space to fit there (so you can't teleport into a wall, for instance).

EDIT: Fixed a typo.

----------


## Tom the Mime

This seems like it could be an actively good item to run in some groups that don't do PC deaths. An emergency GTFO button that has consequences in that the GM can put them where they want as a plot hook or as an additional quest to get back where they were. May lower dramatic tension knowing it's an option but if the players know PC deaths wouldn't be a thing anyway, it still works.

Next: Boots of walking: These boots were made for walking. And that's all they do - no running, jumping or standing still.

----------


## Ironsmith

This basically doubles your overland speed, since these boots make you keep walking whenever you would sleep, so as long as you're pointed in the right direction when you nod off.

*Fafo's Walking Stick*
This brittle wooden pole breaks under nearly any pressure, but reassembles itself as soon as there is room. The splinters that result from this are dull and cannot penetrate the skin.

----------


## bug_sniper

Open a shop and put it low on the shelf where kids can touch it. Decorate it with fools gold embroidery to make it look valuable. When someone drops it and it breaks, grab it so that it doesn't reassemble. Then point out that it's a rare and priceless antique and demand all the money in the customer's live savings.

*Fruit of the yellow tongue*

A fruit that looks and tastes like a peach. When eaten, it turns your tongue yellow permanently.

----------


## Dr.Gunsforhands

I mean, the obvious use that it would actually get is as a secret society's tattoo. The campaign probably gives it religious significance for the society that grows it. Also it's great in pie.

Next! *Frost Wilter / Heat Wilter*

These two artificial flowers are separate items with similar functions. One seems to wilt in temperatures below 0 degrees celsius. One seems to wilt in temperatures above 80 degrees celsius. It's a qualitative change; they don't seem to measure the temperature more finely than that.

----------


## Ironsmith

Not much use in person, but you can mix them with teleportation and divination magic to determine the habitability of a place (where it's not immediately obvious).

*Rings of the Cabal*
While wearing a ring from this set, you and every other wearer are unable to perceive each other in any way. These rings have effect on those not wearing them.

----------


## Bucky

The monstrous guards don't attack authorized visitors, and the authorized visitors don't even notice the monstrous guards. As a bonus, it protects the visitors' identities from each other. Please return the ring at the door on the way out.

*Hat of self-disguise*
This bowler hat gives +10 to Bluff checks to pass it off as a different hat, and +5 to Bluff checks to pass it off as a non-hat object.

----------


## paddyfool

*Hat of self-disguise* could be used in a bait and switch or similar con, e.g. to keep some valuable object out of the antagonists hands. ("So Lily the Lich thinks she has obtained the crown of Vecna, but actually she's just got a bowler hat... let's get far away from here before she finds out"). The hat-on-a-stick trick to check for snipers could also get a boost from it maybe. Or going with the crown disguise again, I'm sure there's mileage to be gained by roguish characters in impersonating a royal personage ("My crown has a glamour that allows me to make it look like a bowler hat in public"), or alternative authorities if, for instance, guard captains tend to have distinctive hats. 

*Sword of babble*
As we all know, some enchanted swords can talk, but this one never stops blathering irritating nonsense continually whenever it's unsheathed. Besides that it's a regular sword.

----------


## Ironsmith

Deafen yourself and use this weapon as a distraction in combat. Or as an interrogation device.

*Hammer of Agony*
This warhammer has a 1% chance every round to slip from the wielder's hand and land on their big toe, inflicting one point of bludgeoning damage.

----------


## totadileplayz

> Deafen yourself and use this weapon as a distraction in combat. Or as an interrogation device.
> 
> *Hammer of Agony*
> This warhammer has a 1% chance every round to slip from the wielder's hand and land on their big toe, inflicting one point of bludgeoning damage.


Use it as a warhammer. The Dmg you take, can be used to prolong your rage on occassion. 

*42*
A board, which is written the number 42. The number occasionally changes to a random number with a focus on numbers within the first 100 numbers, though other numbers may be seen and no known upper limit exists. This change lasts a couple of seconds, and can take anywhere from a couple of seconds for another change, to the lifespan of the universe.

----------


## Bucky

The board is infamous for its key role in the Great Royal Street Address Prank of 447 and the following diplomatic incident.

*Wand of Summon Legs*
It functions as a Wand of Summon Monster, except that only the summons' legs and feet are visible and tangible. The summon has no sensation in the rest of its body, either, so it's blind, deaf etc.

----------


## Ironsmith

If you ever find yourself in command of an army of Orcs and at risk of a breakdown in discipline over food rations, this wand can provide an alternative to maiming your Halfling prisoners.

*Unseeing Stone*
This glass sphere replicates the effects of a _Clairvoyance_ spell once per day, except it always shows the least helpful angle possible (i.e. straight down at the floor).

----------


## Dr.Gunsforhands

Good enough to target a teleport spell!

Next: Fangs of the Nampire
These prosthetic fangs are wearable in the mouth over one's regular teeth. While worn, the wearer can't be blocked by Carl spells counters. Once per day, one can speak a command word through the fangs to cause them and one's mouth to merge and grow to unusual size for 1 hour. The enlarged teeth are useless in combat, but can be used to gnaw on inanimate objects with no lasting damage to the fangs nor to the user's teeth.

----------


## Velaryon

Look, I'm not proud of it but sometimes there is _no_ other way to get that jar open. And sometimes it's an easy way to dispose of evidence.

*Toothless Brush*

This appears to be a normal toothbrush, but any tooth brushed with it will immediately fall out of its owner's mouth 1d10 rounds after the brushing.

----------


## totadileplayz

This is likely a good way to sunder a creature's bite attack to ensure they are more suitable to zoo, and containment during the first days of training. With a regeneration spell in the future for combat training proper. 

*The First Move Chess-Game*
This chess game will whenever it's set up do a first move on both sides, then the animation ends until the pieces are set up once more.

----------


## Lacco

> *The First Move Chess-Game*
> This chess game will whenever it's set up do a first move on both sides, then the animation ends until the pieces are set up once more.


A great game starter for people that overthink their first move.

*Staff of Many Dramatic Effects*

This ornate staff has a small statuette of a dragon that sometimes moves on top and a small, crystal ball on the bottom. It is carved with ever-changing runes of ancient, indecypherable runes, changes color and the crystal ball often shows strange events.

It can be used to produce swarms of butterflies, flies, prismatic effects, small, ominous black clouds (around the size of a small dog) that can be controlled. It can also provide small amounts of light, which changes color according to the mood and voice of the caster.

Lastly, it provides a lightning and thunder effect (not actual lightning) whenever the wielder says something important (judged by the small dragon, so absolutely randomly).

----------


## paddyfool

Could be used as a study aid for young illusionists or enchanters to puzzle out how it produces the wide range of effects it does.

Could also be used to briefly impersonate a wizard while having no talent in that regard. Just as long as you don't talk. 

*Wand of summon frightened critter*
This casts Summon Nature's Ally I, but the creature summoned immediately tries to run and/or hide, and will fight only if cornered.

----------


## Bucky

It's excellent bait for catching ambush predators. Or testing suspected pressure plates in a featureless hallway.

*Orcish Boxing Glove*
This "spiked" gauntlet is enchanted to not deal any damage. It uses an intricate set of buckles and thus requires 30 seconds to put on or remove.

----------


## Dr.Gunsforhands

That it doesn't deal damage at all, not even nonlethal, says to me that it's primarily designed for convincing stage combat. Orcs have a cultural affinity for brawling and don't appreciate human fight choreography; a swing doesn't carry any weight unless someone is physically struck. As the glove doesn't actually carry a dex penalty or anything, a thief who does not analyze it beyond a simple magic-detection spell may try using it for real only to be undone by the product of their avarice. On the other hand, a clever assassin could deduce the item's secret and switch it out for a deadly replica. Naturally, the bards that own the glove do little to prevent these popular plotlines from playing out.

Next item: The *Fire Stopper!*
This is a cork usable in standard wine bottles or potion flasks. When it is removed from such a container, the liquid inside ignites, shedding light as a simple lamp and consuming the contents at the same rate as lamp oil.

----------


## totadileplayz

This is a great means to make bombs, while keeping the contents relatively safe, have a solid explosive in a soluble state in some form of liquid, and throw it at an enemy to cause the explosion. Alternatively, Water is abundant easily makeable by spells, and can be used to get more out of the create water cantrip, without needing another cantrip for light. 

*The Paradox box*
When the box is opened you can read the top and bottom of the box. The Top says the bottom is lying, and the Bottom Says the Top is Telling the Truth. This registers as divination magic with the specific spell being detect truth. It is unknown which one was formed from the detect truth spell, if either.

----------


## paddyfool

It's a box. Boxes are useful for storing things in. The little bit of writing could be used to distract thieves and/or conceal some protective runes.  

*Trousers of summon confused creepy crawlies*

The wearer of this item may use it to cast Summon Swarm I, however said swarm are Confused as per the spell effect and are always summoned as close to the caster as possible.

----------


## Bucky

Hmm... unlike an ordinary summoned swarm, which can't be directed once it's summoned, the caster can use the confusion's "close with caster if attack is not possible" and "flee away from caster" results to steer the swarm in specific directions. On average, it moves away from the caster. The swarm lasts as long as the caster keeps concentrating, so it can be used to wreck directed havoc at a considerable distance so long as the caster gets enough initial separation to not be the nearest creature.


*Hover Boots*
On walking off a ledge, step, cliff or similar terrain feature, these leather boots support the wearer in midair for one stride or one second (whichever comes first). Sadly, this function is not compatible with running or jumping.

----------


## bug_sniper

You can walk quickly from one windowledge to the next for stealthing into an urban hideout. And you can step partly off the stage ledge as a special effect during live swordplay and dance.

Squirrel of mimicry card
A normal-sized card. On the front you'll see a red S on the top left and bottom right and a picture of a red squirrel in the middle, which serves no function in any well-known card game. Whenever you put it into a deck, its back changes to match that of the other cards.

----------


## totadileplayz

> You can walk quickly from one windowledge to the next for stealthing into an urban hideout. And you can step partly off the stage ledge as a special effect during live swordplay and dance.
> 
> Squirrel of mimicry card
> A normal-sized card. On the front you'll see a red S on the top left and bottom right and a picture of a red squirrel in the middle, which serves no function in any well-known card game. Whenever you put it into a deck, its back changes to match that of the other cards.


Just Because it's not a card for any well-known card game doesn't mean it couldn't be used in games. The Squirrel card could be treated as a variant addition to every well known card game typically as a thief card of some variation. 

*The Broken Paper Watch*
This is a watch entirely made of paper, it has already gotten wet, and is nonfunctional. The Water Damage apparent on this paper watch was entirely purposeful in it's creation.

----------


## Dr.Gunsforhands

It's okay, Timmy. We'll just smooth it out, let it dry on the counter, and hang it back up on the fridge. I'm sure Ann feels _very sorry_ that she dunked it in the bathtub and told you it was magic.

Rose-tinted Glasses
These sunglasses allow the wearer to see people and things in the best possible light, figuratively speaking. Mechanically, these behave as _eyes of charming,_ but the effect causes the wearer to be voluntarily charmed by a subject rather than the other way around.

----------


## paddyfool

Works as a gag / sabotage gift. Give them to some easily influenced opponent / minion of an opponent to temporarily suborn them to your side, perhaps.

*Pebble of changeable metal* 
Created by an alchemist looking for the philosopher's stone, this tiny pebble-shaped lump of metal may change itself on command between being made up of lead and being made up of copper. Any attempt to reshape the pebble removes this effect.

----------


## Bucky

That's the perfect ballast for a model submarine, which can be made to float or submerge on command. If only we had a few more of them for finer control...

*Metamagic Rod of Substitute Coloration*
The wielder can cast up to three spells per day that are colored a deep purple rather than their normal hues.

----------


## Dr.Gunsforhands

Need to impersonate the BBEG, but you're an evoker who took necromancy and illusion as your banned schools? This is the rod for you!

Next! *Skates of Melting!*
These otherwise functional ice skates melt away the ice in the wearer's wake. Mechanically, at the end of a move action where the wearer moves across a surface of water ice, the skates melt away up to 1 foot of ice in each space that the wearer left during the move. This will leave an 11-inch pool of water if you're skating across a glacier or something.

----------


## Rogan

> Next! *Skates of Melting!*
> These otherwise functional ice skates melt away the ice in the wearer's wake. Mechanically, at the end of a move action where the wearer moves across a surface of water ice, the skates melt away up to 1 foot of ice in each space that the wearer left during the move. This will leave an 11-inch pool of water if you're skating across a glacier or something.


Perfect if you are alone and have to stop a huge horde of enemies, crossing a frozen lake or river. Well,  at least if the ice has the right thickness...

*Wand of increase enemy's strength +6*
This wand will cast bulls strength at one target, as long as this target is hostile to the caster.

----------


## paddyfool

Could be used as a buff on allies of convenience, on a teammate whom you've managed to tick off a bit, or on enslaved minions, depending on the exact definition used of "hostile".  

Or you could give the wand itself to a hostile captive, and compel them to use it to buff you and your allies; the fact that it cannot be used to buff their allies then becomes something of a security feature (although obviously not a perfect one).

*Evergreen cloak*
This cloak is always a bright green in colour, no matter what gets spilled on it or the background lighting.

----------


## Bucky

Ah, it's a sort of wearable semaphore, where the wearer dances to send messages over distances too far for shouting. The enchantment makes sure it's distinct and visible even after hiking through a marsh or in the poor light of dusk.

*Atlas Launch System*
This is a steel tube, 2 feet wide and 5 feet high. When set upright on the ground and held there for 10 seconds, it will magically propel any maps within to the upper edge of the atmosphere in the direction it's pointed. 

Experimentation shows that the maps somehow phase through any non-map objects in the way, other than book-binding materials used to bind maps together, and that having a scroll or book that's part map and part prose results in a torn scroll or book.

----------


## Dr.Gunsforhands

No, see, the trick is to encode the prose _into_ the map. It's not even that hard; it doesn't care about whether the map is correct or whether it's of a real place, as long as it's all incorporated together. For the same reason, a full-body tattoo of a map results in painful death, whereas casting Flesh to Stone and then chiseling you into a stylized globe works.

Next item! Lamb Chop
This living sheep can be wielded as a +2 Battleaxe for as long as it's alive. Whenever it deals damage, the sheep takes an equal amount of damage.

----------


## Velaryon

A one-use magic weapon with a built-in free meal at the end? Sounds great to me. Plus you get the humiliation factor of killing your enemy with a sheep.

*Bottle of Flatulence:* Most likely created as a prank, this magical bottle emits a stench like a particularly stinky far when the bottle is opened and the command word is spoken. The stench covers a cylindrical area 10 feet high and 10 feet wide, expanding by 10 feet every round until it either fills the entire room or until it's closed.

----------


## totadileplayz

Great way to clear a room. 


*The Lyre of misattribution*
Whenever playing the lyre any songs performed or sung will be attributed to a master artisan who mysteriously disappears at the end of the song removing all credit from the music for yourself.

----------


## Bucky

If your local nobles are cracking down on bards singing seditious songs, send them chasing a songwriter that doesn't exist while stirring up your rebellion.

*Backfire Bolts*
This set of 50 enchanted crossbow bolts launch in the opposite direction of the way the crossbow's pointed.

----------


## Rogan

> *Backfire Bolts*
> This set of 50 enchanted crossbow bolts launch in the opposite direction of the way the crossbow's pointed.


Sneak them into the enemy's armory and the crossbow users will be much less effective at stopping your charge.

*Movable Rod*
This rod looks like an immovable rod and it takes a DC 35 spellcraft check to find the differences. When used, it will be completely impossible to keep this rod still.

----------


## bug_sniper

Use it as a crowbar. Put it between 2 bars of a barred window and brace it against a boulder or wall or heavy piece of furniture so that it must bend the bars in order to move.

Another use is to attach magnets to it and put it inside a solenoid so that it functions as a fuelless generator.

Next item: *Stone of Euclid*

While carrying this stone, walking diagonally takes √2 times as long is it does in the 4th edition Dungeons and Dragons rules. And generally, when walking x units in one dimension and y units in another dimension, it takes time proportional to √(x²+y²).

----------


## paddyfool

Can be planted on an opponent to slow them down in a race, especially if laid out in such a way that you're mainly moving diagonally on the world's grid. Mainly useful in confusing the DM with maths, however.

* Dancing shoes*
Just after being taken off, these shoes do a brief dance on their own.

----------


## Velaryon

Those sound like a great way to entertain children, and possibly a good way to help teach them how to tie/untie shoes laces.


*Rod of Self-Cursing:* This twisted wooden rod allows the wielder to cast _bestow curse_ three times a day, but only targeting the wielder themselves.

----------


## bug_sniper

Ashenzari gives you extra piety when you explore the world while harboring a curse. Also, an accomplished witch can become symbiotic with the curse and gain control over it or quickly pass it to an enemy of hers.

Next item: Chesspieces of Impudence

After 2 minutes of being used in a game or activity, the chesspieces cease being inanimate and decide they don't want to take part in it. They insult whoever is around, run away, and when cornered, attack whoever is nearby even though they aren't very strong or quick.

----------


## paddyfool

*Chesspieces of impudence*
Adds an extra challenge to a game of speed chess - you have to finish the game before the pieces turn on you. Can also be used for a dungeon puzzle, where "capture the opponent's king" becomes literal. Ideally setting up a golem or undead minion to play against the adventurers and then obstruct their capture attempt while the runaway king leads them into a trap or two.

*Cloak of Oak*
This cloak allows the wearer as a full round action to transform into a tree. The effect wears off one year later, and cannot voluntarily be reversed earlier. While in this form, the wearer cannot see, hear, or take any actions, because they're a tree.

----------


## NCat

*Cloak of Oak*
Use it as a druidic version of cryogenic freezing, to allow the user to pass time while not suffering from other effects. The user could travel a year into the future with little time passing from their perspective since they are a tree. They could wait for a cure or cleric that can cure a disease or ailment that they have to come, because they will not have this ailment while they are a tree.



*Sword of Reincarnation*

A sword that when used to kill a creature, the creature is revived after 24 hours, appearing in the spot they died

----------


## Bucky

While I suspect it was originally used for staged executions, nowadays it's used for bare-blade martial training where the possibility of a lethal accident cannot otherwise be fully guarded against.


*Stone of Legacies*
This polished black rock of roughly two hundred pounds, when commanded to "speak", will recite a list of every person that has ever touched it, in chronological order by first touch.

----------


## Velaryon

I see two potential uses for a Stone of Legacies.
1. It's a way to at least preserve a family tree. Every new generation of the family touches the stone, thus adding their names to the recitation.
2. Could be a way to weed out impostors, if they're traveling under a false name or impersonating someone in particular.

*Displacer Coin* - this otherwise normal gold coin is enchanted with a displacement effect similar to that of a Displacer Beast.

----------


## Dire Moose

A good way to confuse any would-be pickpockets trying to steal your gold.

*Brooch of Fright:*A piece of jewelry that randomly screams at ear-splitting volumes once every 1d100 minutes.

----------


## paddyfool

Put it in a sealed bank vault with whatever other valuables you want to store there. If anyone breaks in, it will help to trace them. 

*Scabby scabbard*
Any sword placed in this comes out crusted in an illusion of old dried blood.

----------


## Rogan

> *Scabby scabbard*
> Any sword placed in this comes out crusted in an illusion of old dried blood.


Your want to look like a badass and brutal killer? You don't want to ruin your sword by storing it bloody? THIS is the item for you! 

*Sleeping Bag of Holding* 
It's really, really (and I mean * really*  ) hard to get up after a night in this sleeping bag.
In order to keep the sleeper from getting up, it will cast _sleep_ and _entanglement_.

----------


## Lysbeth

You don't have to watch out for prisoners escaping and random nightly encounters at the same time when on guard duty.

*Girdle of Masculinity/Masculinity*: this girdle, when worn, keeps you exactly as masculine as you were before putting it on. It has no effect on femininity.

----------


## Supagoof

It completes the outfit though.

The ring of un-bearing pain, when worn - does not cause you any pain, but rather removes pain from nearby bears, which makes them confused and angry.

----------


## Pex

Druids use the ring to enable bears to get themselves out of natural hazards like thickets or climbed too high on a tree. Since they don't they feel pain and are angry the bears ferociously move themselves free from harm.

Key To Nothing
This magical key will never open any lock.

----------


## paddyfool

Leave this key in the lock of a door you don't want opened, and most people will waste a good amount of time trying to unlock it with the key before they try other more effective means.

*Open door*
This door will actively resist any attempt to close it, requiring a DC 20 strength check to shut it or a DC 15 strength check to hold itself closed once shut as it will reopen itself at the earliest opportunity. It has no lock.

----------


## Dr.Gunsforhands

The Key: The obvious use is to hang it somewhere in your dungeon, inducing completionist adventurers to waste days combing it for that last secret door instead of bothering you. The less-obvious use is as a challenge to locksmiths. Trying to make a lock around an impossible key shape could spark some interesting designs. If all else fails, you could always work it into some jewelry and sell it at a steampunk convention.

Edit:
The Door: This is a real item from a popular videogame! Its primary purpose is to dispense security guards to your pet robots as food.

*Paradoxical Horsecart*
Whenever a horse tries to pull this cart, the cart pulls on the horse with equal force, preventing either from moving.

----------


## Bucky

Isn't that "magic" just Newton's Third Law? Whatever, if you can't get a horse to pull it, use it as an oxcart.

*Possessed Printing Press*
This large newspress prints a different page of text with every impression. The text is demented, rambling nonsense, but always has impeccable grammar.

----------


## Supagoof

You open up disclaimer news - which does amazingly well. You are surprised at the amount of demented, rambling nonsense, with impeccable grammar that people want to read on a daily basis, _but you shouldn't be_.

This newspaper gives you complete mind control over zombies, but the only thing they can do is shoot themselves in the head.

----------


## Dr.Gunsforhands

So, a scroll of _undeath to death_, then? That can be handy.

Hard-bake Oven: On command, this small box heats up. It applies a -5 penalty on any craft or profession check made to cook with it.

----------


## paddyfool

So many uses.
1) Winter survival. Even if the outside of the box doesn't heat up, you can still use it to dry firewood, or to heat up rocks you can then use to warm your surroundings. 
2) Using said hot rocks for a sauna
3) Using said hot rocks to cook on, hopefully evading the penalty.
4) Sabotaging an opponent in a cookery competition
5) Wearing down someone's morale by giving them this as their only means to cook.
6) Turn it into a bomb by putting volatile compounds into it, that you then can heat up enough to react on command 

*Pink quartz figurine of the greedy pig.*

Once per day, this figurine can transform on command into a medium sized pig that then demands food of the figurine's owner, and will not transform back until fed. If not transformed on command, the figurine will transform itself into a pig come nightfall and will most insistently demand food.

----------


## Pex

A vampire can use it as an alarm clock.

Bag of Nothing
Anything that you put into the bag immediately appears next to you.

----------


## totadileplayz

Easy con. Make someone believe gold is in the bag or item of your choice and with sleight of hand pick up the items in question leaving them with nothing. Heck you could if your clever deceive someone into believing it's a bag of holding with the same trick. 

*The Scroll of nothing* 
This piece of parchment can not be stained by markings or ink. While damaged incidentally and accidentally any purposeful markings of any sort to leave any form of communication or message fail to appear on the scroll.

----------


## Dr.Gunsforhands

I think they used that to cover up all the graffiti downtown.

*Mud Hole*
This _Portable Hole_ is filled with wet mud. Removing the mud decreases the volume of the hole accordingly; if it's emptied, it ceases to exist.

----------


## Bucky

The hole greatly simplifies the logistics of mud-cemented construction, allowing a courier to fetch hundreds of pounds of quality river mud from a distant river without letting it dry. Just be careful to refill it before it empties completely.

*Illuminating Chest (inverted)*
This ornate chest was supposed to shine a Light spell on its contents whenever it's open, but was mis-enchanted and instead illuminates its contents when it's shut.

----------


## paddyfool

Can be used as a growbox for a secret stash of "medicinal" herbs.

Moonrise compass

This compass always points directly at the moon.

----------


## totadileplayz

> Can be used as a growbox for a secret stash of "medicinal" herbs.
> 
> Moonrise compass
> 
> This compass always points directly at the moon.


Depending on the tools you have at hand it is both useful as a clock and compass. In places where the sky is obscured but you have a clock in hand you can know rather easily what direction the moon would be in in relation to yourself and you only need 1 extra point besides yourself to know direction. In conjunction with a compass on the other hand and you'll just have a clock. 

Ring of Purple Rain
This ring makes your piss purple in coloration with no other changed properties due to this ring.

----------


## paddyfool

You could use this to fake a curse or a disease, either on yourself or someone else. You could also use it to create some fake grape juice, blackcurrant juice, purple corn juice or magic potion, although such a con is only likely to last until someone smells / tastes it. Potentially you could use it to dye cloth.

Or if you're a shifter, lycanthrope, gnoll or other vaguely beastly type, you could use it to provide a helpful visual aid alongside the olfactory cues when marking your territory.

Lax Axe

Injuring someone with this axe has the side effect of also relieving any constipation they may be suffering, and they will need to pause to relieve themselves within the next half hour.

(EDIT: apologies for inadvertent overly frequent posting)

----------


## Supagoof

You open up a specialty clinic, offering the instant relief to others who suffer from illnesses such as chronic constipation, encropresis, and the like. This makes you a fortune as the consumer base grows over the ease and expedience of the special healthcare you offer. You only downside now is keeping the cleaning staff employed as eventually they get sick of cleaning the toilets so frequently.

Cup of Neverending Thirst
This cup, no matter how much you pour into it, is constantly empty. The liquid just, disappears. This problem is further compounded by a spell that enacts so when you grab the cup, it never leaves your hand.

----------


## totadileplayz

> You open up a specialty clinic, offering the instant relief to others who suffer from illnesses such as chronic constipation, encropresis, and the like. This makes you a fortune as the consumer base grows over the ease and expedience of the special healthcare you offer. You only downside now is keeping the cleaning staff employed as eventually they get sick of cleaning the toilets so frequently.
> 
> Cup of Neverending Thirst
> This cup, no matter how much you pour into it, is constantly empty. The liquid just, disappears. This problem is further compounded by a spell that enacts so when you grab the cup, it never leaves your hand.


First Figure out what it can withstand. Can it withstand lava? If Yes, then you can clear lava pools. Otherwise it's a great means in clearing out water in practically all cases since the case is always instantaneous. You could even use it for the clearage of toxic liquid waste, or just clearing a path in a pond. It Doesn't matter how much time it takes. 


*Ring of Muddy Eyes*
When Worn this ring turns your ears into mud. Only changing back once the ring is removed. This removes your sense of sight and renders you blind.

----------


## Dr.Gunsforhands

Sounds like it was designed to help combat the information-based threats that constantly plague the SCP universe. The anti-life equation can't infect you with your eyes and ears melted!

*Neverstarting Story:* This type of book sometimes resembles a spellbook, sometimes a journal, sometimes an atlas. In all cases, the book is empty, and anyone who approaches an open _Neverstarting Story_ with a mind to record anything is suddenly struck with crippling writer's and artist's block, forgetting everything they were about to write until one minute after the book is put away.

----------


## bug_sniper

Maybe a student of yours is stealing credit for your work or wasting everyone's time with irrelevant questions. Give it to a student who you want to fail your class. Or to a journalist employee who is too popular to fire for any reason other than dereliction of duty.

Next item: The Regenerating Apple

An apple that regenerates itself. The original apple quickly regenerates to become whole. And so does any piece separated. Anyone who consumes this apple will likely end up with an intestinal blockage of several whole apples.

----------


## MornShine

It's not an 'apple', it's infinite mass and volume!

Use it for ballast. Need more? Create more apples. Less? Chuck some over the side.
Use it for inclusions in cement. It's free and infinite!
Slice it into a pit. No more pit. It's just apples now.
Cut an apple and wedge it into a hole before it regenerates. Bam, fruitfracking!
Build a wall out of apples. If anyone tries to break the wall, it regenerates-- and fills the room with apples.
Teleport it into the center of a star. As it burns, it regenerates and multiplies. Bam, a black hole.
_Burning or corrosion just destroys the apple? Potentially infinite fuel for a_ _fire. Also, infinite apple pies.
_
Or, y'know, just assassinate someone with it. That's good too. 

*Carpet of Falling*
When dropped, this carpet (and anything attached to it) falls at a speed far exceeding the local gravity, ignoring air resistance. It doesn't cushion the impact.

----------


## Bucky

...which makes it an excellent wrapper for air-to-ground delivery of impact-sensitive explosives. Or just rocks, if you want to try to reuse the carpet afterwards.

*Rope of Tangling*
When activated by setting this rope down on a surface, it gradually twists itself into increasingly complex knots.

----------


## HalfTangible

Put the rope onto something that needs to be tied, such as on a ship, and it will handle itself.

*Amulet of Resurrection Sickness*: Upon speaking the command word, the wearer loses a level and constitution points as if they'd been resurrected.

----------


## Dr.Gunsforhands

Friend Computer made these Resurrection Amulets mandatory so that they could reclassify the former self-termination chambers as Housing and reclassify the former Housing as Carpeting Appreciation Zones. Friend Computer always makes things better for everyone.

*1-D Glasses*
These are an early proof of concept for the _Goggles of True Seeing_. They force the user to perceive the world as a single row of pixels (providing something like -15 on spot and search checks and giving enemies near-total concealment), but the readout demonstrably penetrates invisibility and illusions.

----------


## Pex

That's how they make those compressed movie prints shown as artwork

*Dust Of Dirtiness*

Spreading this magic dust onto a surface makes it dirty. Unfortunately it cannot reveal something or someone to be invisible.

----------


## Dire Moose

Can be used to conceal treasure by making it look less valuable. Or to conceal something reflective from light sources.

*Wand of Create Wand*
A wand with exactly one charge. When used, it creates another Wand of Create Wand with exactly one charge and vanishes.

----------


## paddyfool

Can be used to train a novice wand user without draining charges of anything useful or risking any harmful effects. Or as a toy too entertain children.

*Bag of stretching*
An attempt to reinvent the bag of holding, this bag in the shape of a burlap sack stretches to accommodate different objects placed in its mouth, up to a maximum of 500 litres of volume. Unlike a bag of holding, the objects it contains maintain their original weight and volume.  It will rip if you try and lift it while it contains more than 50kg; it will also rip quite easily if anything trapped within succeeds on a DC 10 strength check or is capable of doing at least 5 damage to it.

----------


## bug_sniper

At a security checkpoint, use it to check for weapons. If it rips easily when you lift it, arrest the person for bringing contraband.

Also, use it to cover and hide large prototype inventions and trade secrets as a substitute for giant tarps.

*Insulation of Discomfort*

If the interior is hotter than a standard room temperature of 75 F or 23.9 C, it keeps the heat in. If it's colder than that temperature, it lets the heat out.

----------


## Dr.Gunsforhands

...so, an icebox. And also possibly a pizza oven. Ooh, or a sauna!

Magic Scabbard: Any sword stored in this scabbard gains a +2 bonus to attack and damage rolls. This bonus is lost when the weapon is drawn.

----------


## HalfTangible

You can just wield the sword without taking the scabbard off. As an added bonus, it's nonlethal! =D

Ring of Consenting Obedience: Upon putting on this ring and attuning to it of your own volition, you must obey any order given to you, unless doing so would prevent you from removing the ring.

----------


## Rogan

> Ring of Consenting Obedience: Upon putting on this ring and attuning to it of your own volition, you must obey any order given to you, unless doing so would prevent you from removing the ring.


Trick someone into wearing this on his own volition and prevent removal of the ring by other means.
Or gift it to a dominant / submissive couple to use as a toy, if the first option seems evil to you...

* Vomiting bag*
This bag works as a bag of holding, with the following exception: After a 1d100 rounds, any item inserted into the bag will be ejected violently.

----------


## Dr.Gunsforhands

How violently are we talking? This is either a lightweight cannon or a stylish way of dispensing bingo numbers.

Knife of Never Letting Go
All attempts to remove this knife from the wielder's hand automatically fail. This means the wielder cannot put the dagger down, throw it, or use their hand for any other activity. Also the knife isn't so much, "wielded," as, "embedded in the user's hand blade-first."

----------


## bug_sniper

Whoever wields this knife will become a good candidate for testing your weapons augmentation program where you replace a subject's hands with knives or guns or other weapons.

That, or give it to a gelatinous creature who will now have a lethal backhand slap.

Water of Frictionless Ice: When frozen, its top surface is absolutely frictionless. So if you step onto it, you cannot stop sliding until you get to the other side unless you find something else to exert force onto.

----------


## HalfTangible

A frictionless enviornment is ideal for many forms of scientific experimentation. Come on man, that's an easy one! :P

Crown of Crowns: Putting on this crown and speaking the command word will put a crown on your head (unless you're already wearing a crown).

----------


## +5 Vorpal Bunny

You never said the new crown had to be the same size, that either had to stay on my head, or that either will disappear if I do so. Free crowns for everyone!

Tome of Raising Bread: When you cast this spell, it not only causes bread to rise, but rise up into orbit.

----------


## GeoffWatson

> You never said the new crown had to be the same size, that either had to stay on my head, or that either will disappear if I do so. Free crowns for everyone!
> 
> Tome of Raising Bread: When you cast this spell, it not only causes bread to rise, but rise up into orbit.


Build a space station out of bread - or at least the radiation shielding and other heavy bits.
Use the bread as reaction mass for a spaceship engine.

Loaded Dice.
When rolling this set of dice, if the command word and a number are spoken loudly, the dice will roll so that the total number of pips showing is the number stated.

----------


## Rogan

> Loaded Dice.
> When rolling this set of dice, if the command word and a number are spoken loudly, the dice will roll so that the total number of pips showing is the number stated.


Claim that the command word is the name of a goddess of fate and ask her for her help in getting a "Natural Twenty!" whenever you need it most. Make sure not to overuse it, or somebody might get suspicious. 


*Dekanter of less water*
Whenever you use this to carry water, you will get less water back than you poured in before.

----------


## +5 Vorpal Bunny

I use it to concentrate other minerals trapped within the water. And I'm by a river known for gold. Score!

Bag of Holding On
A cursed version of a Bag of Holding, when you touch this its mouth sticks to you. Forever.

----------


## ziproot

There's a repelling force between atoms
You could throw some heavy objects in it that you don't need anymore and attach it to a stick. Now you have a nice weapon.
EDIT: This won't stick to whoever you hit because it is attached to the stick "forever"

*Scroll of No*
When recited, it says the word "no" in whatever your native language is. If you don't have a native language, it just vanishes. Can only be used once.

----------


## paddyfool

Gives you a way to close negotiations with some theatre:

"Your barbaric majesty, the potted plant potentate would like to present its answer to your demands:"
[Gets out scroll, quiet arcane chanting]
*"No"* 
"We choose war."

* Feather token of a different feather*
When used, this token in the shape of a dove's feather transforms into a crow's feather. It can only be used once.

----------


## +5 Vorpal Bunny

It's always good to learn; of course, I know that. But this is magic; it does not have to obey science either.

I distribute copies of this token to my scouts, guards, and lietuenants; when they spot an enemy, they throw the feather into the air, indicating a potentially deadly threat. And then they go and take care of it.
The doves' feathers also remain at their side as a way of symbolically saying 'we keep the peace but we're ready to kill'. 


*Pan of Pandemonium*

When you cook food in this pan, it randomly mixes the food around, batters nearby objects and makes all sorts of chaotic sounds.

----------


## Rogan

> *Pan of Pandemonium*
> 
> When you cook food in this pan, it randomly mixes the food around, batters nearby objects and makes all sorts of chaotic sounds.


It's perfect if you always worry about forgetting to remove the pan from the fire. With this pan, you won't forget!

*Mystic Magic Marble*
It's a Marble. It's obviously magical. And it's function will forever be a mystery!

----------


## ziproot

Since its function is forever a mystery, it doesn't have a noticeable effect on you so it can't, say, kill you, or you'll know what it does. But you know it's magical. This sounds like a good prop or decoration, and it will probably sell for a lot at an auction.

*Wand of Scroll*
When you use the Wand of Scroll, it turns into a Scroll of Wand. When you read the Scroll of Wand, it turns into a Wand of Scroll.

----------


## paddyfool

Sounds like a safe, inexhaustible training aid for the timely use of scrolls or wands in combat. 

Alternatively, it would be amusing to swap this out with a scroll or wand an opponent vitally needed.

* Bib of Babyface Glamour*
Wearing this bib casts an illusion that makes your face and head appear as they did when you were a newborn baby. The rest of your body is unaffected.

----------


## Lacco

You say he's deathly afraid of babies?! Hold my dragonmead, I've got the right thing for that!

*Veil of Ork*

Anything covered by this small tablecloth tastes like pork. Old pork.

----------


## Dr.Gunsforhands

I mean, it's the perfect gift for anyone who likes old pork, obviously. You can also drape it over a translucent gel to study the habits of corpse-eating insects and the like.

*Dead Weight*
When the owner of this innocuous gem dies, the gem permanently becomes 10 lbs. heavier.

----------


## Bucky

Dead Weight, check.
Scale, where the Dead Weight opposes an ordinary weight that weighs one pound less, check.
Bell, placed directly under Dead Weight near the bottom of the scale's movement range, check.
Papers stating I'm holding this contraption in trust for a particular adventurer in a distant land, check.
25 kgp of diamonds, check.
Holy water, check.
True Resurrection in one of my 9th slots, to be cast when the bell tolls, check.


*Boots of Spinning*
While wearing these boots and standing up, they rotate you 90 degrees clockwise every six seconds.

----------


## +5 Vorpal Bunny

I strap myself to a massive artillery piece and put the boots on. Thanks to these, I'm able to turn them around in record time!

*Rick's Rolling Guitar*
While tumbling, this guitar plays really, really annoying music. You know the one.

----------


## Rogan

> *Rick's Rolling Guitar*
> While tumbling, this guitar plays really, really annoying music. You know the one.


It's great to make sure you're party will know that you will never gonna give them up.

*Razor of hair growth*
Whenever you use this razor to shave, the hair will regrow during 1d4 hours to the previous length.

----------


## ziproot

Infinite money source if you sell the hair.

*Wand of Chaos*
The Wand of Chaos forces you to roll on the mishap table every time you use it, similarly to D&D's "wild magic"

----------


## Dr.Gunsforhands

I've seen the wild magic table. Just find a group of like-minded consenting adults and go to town.

*Box Fox Costume*
This full-body uniform, which was purposefully used in a real videogame by a well-known developer, has a 50% chance of turning you into an inanimate metal box or back again every six seconds.

----------


## bug_sniper

Use it for a missingno costume on halloween. Also, you can use it to eat nutritious disgusting food by having it dropped inside you while you're a box.

Button of mission failure: A square panel with just a red button on it. Whenever anyone presses it, you suffer the consequences of failing your current mission.

----------


## TwilightSandwic

You sneak it into the possession of your worst enemy, falsely label it as a useful sort of button and BOOM! Instant revenge!

Circlet of Song-Scry: putting this enchanted headgear on will allow you to hear people's minds, but exclusively just the songs they have stuck in their head.

----------


## Rogan

> Circlet of Song-Scry: putting this enchanted headgear on will allow you to hear people's minds, but exclusively just the songs they have stuck in their head.


It's a good way to learn which music you can use if you ever need to distract them.

*Seer Slaying Scythe*
This scythe is very effective at slaying Seers - but only if you are a villager and need them to find hidden Werewolfs.

----------


## Taffimai

> *Seer Slaying Scythe*
> This scythe is very effective at slaying Seers - but only if you are a villager and need them to find hidden Werewolfs.


Next time one of those conniving canines would fool your fellow townies by claiming "Oh no, please don't kill me, I'm your seeer!" just whip out your trusty S³ and test them right then and there. Remember: If the scythe don't hit you mustn't acquit!


*The Ever-Crunchy Handkerchief*: no amount of washing will ever get this bad boy clean!

----------


## Dr.Gunsforhands

It's quite the petri dish. It can still be used for its original purpose if it gathers the replacement crud onto itself. If it produces it form within, it can be used to plant false evidence and cover up trails.

_Wand of Postdiction_ - This wand produces an effect similar to_ Augury,_ except instead of a vague answer to a question about the future, it gives an equally-vague answer about the recent past, with the same 30% chance of failure and inaccuracy.

----------


## TwilightSandwic

I mean, that's still fairly useful if it can answer questions about the past you weren't there for. Since there's no mentions of a charge for the item, it might have infinite charges - making the 30% failure problem honestly irrelevant.

Flask of Mineralize Water: This magical flask can transmogrify mineral water into tap water and vice versa.

----------


## Taffimai

> Flask of Mineralize Water: This magical flask can transmogrify mineral water into tap water and vice versa.


This is an awesome tool for science class! Just choose an american tap for chlorinated water, irish for fluorated water, belgian for "hard" water (rich in calcium and magnesium), some older building for water with high lead content,... 


*Taffi's Miraculous Finger Cleaner*: This thimble-sized device will clean the tip of one of your fingers. Any dirt, ink, or other substances removed will be transferred onto the previous finger that was cleaned.

----------


## Dr.Gunsforhands

Hold out your finger, please. Thank you. Now, when you see red nail polish on that finger, that's your cue to make the drop. Blue nail polish means to abort the mission and bug out.

Lantern of Daylight:
This lantern shines as brightly as a _Daylight_ spell. It only functions in natural sunlight.

----------


## Bucky

It comes in handy for seeing through outdoor patches of magical darkness during the day.

This handheld gem transmutor turns sapphires into rubies of equal value and vice versa.

----------


## Rogan

> This handheld gem transmutor turns sapphires into rubies of equal value and vice versa.


Turn the spell components of your enemy's in the wrong type of gem for the spell they try to cast. And make sure your own caster always has the right type.

*Silvered Scry Ball*
This crystal scry ball is coated with a thin layer of silver, which will show the distorted picture of the one using it.

----------


## Taffimai

> *Silvered Scry Ball*
> This crystal scry ball is coated with a thin layer of silver, which will show the distorted picture of the one using it.


Yet another clever way to trick Medusa into petrifying herself!


*Naughtocorrect*: This magical app pretends to be an autocorrect function, but it inserts freudian slips into your text messages (though for some reason only when you're writing to people you really wouldn't want to send them to).

----------


## Dr.Gunsforhands

Somehow, it's still more accurate than regular autocorrect.

Peanuts of Unpacking: This soft filler material can be dumped into an open container of up to medium size. The next time said container is picked up, its contents will spill out, including the Peanuts of Unpacking.

----------


## Bucky

If an object is otherwise stuck inside a jar, those peanuts make an excellent way to remove it.

*Staple summoner*
This apparently ordinary stapler, instead of using an external supply of staples, conjures and applies temporary staples that last 1d4 minutes.

----------


## TwilightSandwic

Well, you just created a stapler that never needs to be reloaded and has an infinite charge. The temporary nature of the staples is a problem, but surely you can use them for a brief display or like a singular board meeting. Plus, it'll make for a decent weapon. The staples might disappear but the holes they made surely won't!

The Ball of Crystalized Sleep: this magical crystal ball can allow you to scry on people and see everything that they're doing.... but only if they're currently frozen-still in ice.

----------


## Dr.Gunsforhands

Naturally, Mr. Freeze uses it to keep an eye on his prisoners, not to mention his frozen wife. It conveniently stops working when Batman escapes so the audience isn't spoiled on his latest heroic plan.

Understanderwear: Any text embroidered to these panties is translated into the wearer's first language. It comes with one phrase on it, and it can be changed twice at most before the panties become damaged and useless.

----------


## Taffimai

> Understanderwear: Any text embroidered to these panties is translated into the wearer's first language. It comes with one phrase on it, and it can be changed twice at most before the panties become damaged and useless.


A vicious bidding war erupts among archeological circles in order to get their hands on the means to finally translate their favourite undeciphered script. Which will win? The Indus Valley script? The Minoan Phaistos disc? Olmec?


*Pan of Punditry*: When in use, this frying pan loudly and authoritatively states random political opinions.

----------


## Rogan

> *Pan of Punditry*: When in use, this frying pan loudly and authoritatively states random political opinions.


A prefect gift for everyone who needs to practice accepting opposed opinions and likes to cook (well, fry).

*Sleep bane pillow*
This very comfy pillow will keep everyone awake who uses it. As soon as you stand up again, you will be as tired as before.

----------


## Smoutwortel

> A prefect gift for everyone who needs to practice accepting opposed opinions and likes to cook (well, fry).
> 
> *Sleep bane pillow*
> This very comfy pillow will keep everyone awake who uses it. As soon as you stand up again, you will be as tired as before.


Useful for everyone who has their best ideas in bed now they can think and pry without having to sacrifice precious sleep, also useful for the guard who's not allowed to sleep during the job and still wants to be sparse with his energy.

*Screaming purse*
This is a purse that always screams.

----------


## TwilightSandwic

I mean, if it still function as a purse, that's not totally useless. Could be a good way to keep track of your things so they won't get lost.

*Potion of Sock Wetness*: consuming this magical potion will magically make the user's socks wet.

----------


## Dr.Gunsforhands

We found it at the haunted house in an abandoned amusement park! Later on, we shackled it to a villain we captured so she couldn't escape or sneak up on us.

Wet socks insulate your feet better if you're about to walk on a hot roof. The potion itself is naturally mostly water, so you'll be a bit more hydrated for the hot weather as well.

Reusable Glitter Bomb: This small silvery sphere leaves a trail of glitter on everything it touches, though its presence is too subtle to notice in combat. When thrown against a surface, it explodes in a cloud of glitter which doesn't hang in the air long enough to meaningfully obscure vision.

----------


## Smoutwortel

> We found it at the haunted house in an abandoned amusement park! Later on, we shackled it to a villain we captured so she couldn't escape or sneak up on us.
> 
> Wet socks insulate your feet better if you're about to walk on a hot roof. The potion itself is naturally mostly water, so you'll be a bit more hydrated for the hot weather as well.
> 
> Reusable Glitter Bomb: This small silvery sphere leaves a trail of glitter on everything it touches, though its presence is too subtle to notice in combat. When thrown against a surface, it explodes in a cloud of glitter which doesn't hang in the air long enough to meaningfully obscure vision.


Put it close to your valuables as a "trap", so you can easily track the thieves.

convincing place mat:
a place mat that always has an  every 1d20 rounds changing random statement written on it on a very convincing manner.

----------


## Bucky

I'll bet I can pass those random convincing statements off as prophecies to build my cult.

*Orbital Observation Clock*
This magical pendulum clock's three hands don't tell time, they point towards the sun, the moon and straight down, respectively.

----------


## Smoutwortel

> I'll bet I can pass those random convincing statements off as prophecies to build my cult.
> 
> *Orbital Observation Clock*
> This magical pendulum clock's three hands don't tell time, they point towards the sun, the moon and straight down, respectively.


Usefull for navigating while deep see diving and underground mining, either usefull for time keeping or some serious orbital depending on what "straight down" means. Either shortest route to the ground or some fancy astronomical phenonemon.

Ring for water.
It is a ring water can wear.

----------


## Dr.Gunsforhands

_"FINALLY!"
- Douglas, Water Elemental Adventurer_


Unbirthday Hat: While worn, magical effects (such as the official calendar of the feywild) treat every day as the wearer's birthday except for their actual birthday.

----------


## Taffimai

> Unbirthday Hat: While worn, magical effects (such as the official calendar of the feywild) treat every day as the wearer's birthday except for their actual birthday.


The indispensable companion to my Surprise Party Dress, which is only visible on your birthday.


*The Rubber Bug Deducker*: If you keep this cute yellow rubber bug on your desk while compiling, you will always be told that there is one fewer bug in your code than there actually is.

----------


## Smoutwortel

> The indispensable companion to my Surprise Party Dress, which is only visible on your birthday.
> 
> 
> *The Rubber Bug Deducker*: If you keep this cute yellow rubber bug on your desk while compiling, you will always be told that there is one fewer bug in your code than there actually is.


That's amazing for academics and high reliability purposes. You can use this object to find the exact number of bugs in your code and thus proof whether it's bug free and since you didn't specify the kind of bugs it could probably also notice security vulnrabilities, code inefficiencies, etc.

*The sword of radio activity*
It's a sword that randomly within 20 rounds from the last time sends on all radio channels the following message: "radioactivity".

----------


## Rogan

> *The sword of radio activity*
> It's a sword that randomly within 20 rounds from the last time sends on all radio channels the following message: "radioactivity".


You might be able to use this to figure out  the encoding of secured channels. Knowing the pain text of a message is really helpful (a longer message would be even better, but you have to work with the tools you have).

*Wand of Anti Magic* 
This Wand can create an anti magic field with a radius of 500ft and a duration of 'as long as the Wand is active'.
Unfortunately, the Wand will be disabled while under the effect of an anti magic field and for 2d10 rounds afterwards.

----------


## paddyfool

To be under the effect of an AMF, the wand must at least momentarily take effect. That means that if you have split second timing, you can momentarily make all summoned creatures or incorporeal undead (that either lack spell resistance or fail their save) in the affected area wink out as a reaction, e.g. to you being attacked by them, or to a useful summon on your side being significantly attacked. Which has to at least be worth a miss chance.

*Wand of miss chance*
Use this on a willing recipient to give every attack they would have made successfully a 50% chance of missing the target. Duration: 1d6 hours.

----------


## Dr.Gunsforhands

You are a scout for a local gambling ring, watching a group of contestants practice for an upcoming archery tournament. The targets are particularly difficult; at the prescribed distance, even the best entrants can only hit them about half the time. By chance, you notice one of them - a decent performer, clearly trying his best, but hardly favored to win - retrieve a wand from a hidden pocket and quietly cast a spell. You report him. A judge hurries over, scolds him, and confiscates the wand before having the head judge confirm that the magic has worn off. When you report this to the ring, his odds predictably tank. Yet, come the actual tournament, he hits 19/20 targets and sweeps the event. Your boss would lose a pile of money, but in exchange for sparing your life, she allows you to accept that debt in her stead.

-

Unbendable Scroll: This sheet of stationery magically resists manipulation and cannot be folded, crumpled or rolled. It can still be pierced, cut, torn and/or burned as normal; doing so counts as destroying it and causes the magic to fade.

----------


## Bucky

A house of cards made from these scrolls can bear practically unlimited weight at very low density. With appropriate joints for stability and cladding for cut and fire protection, you can build megastructures. 

*Variable hourglass*
This device appears to be a mundane copper and glass hourglass. However, it takes (1d12 x 10) minutes to empty after being flipped.

----------


## TwilightSandwic

It's still a pretty cute decorative hourglass or a neat paperweight. A lot of people have hourglasses as just a cool knick-knack to put on their shelves without even considering the time measurement angle.

The Crystal Ball of Feline Worldwide Communication - this magnificent crystal ball glows brightly and yowls whenever a cat photo is uploaded to the internet anywhere, leaving it basically permanently glowing and yowling at every second of the day.

----------


## bug_sniper

> This device appears to be a mundane copper and glass hourglass. However, it takes (1d12 x 10) minutes to empty after being flipped.


Mark it like a measuring cup. Then flip this hourglass and a 10 minute hourglass at the same time. After 10 minutes, check the position of the sand to decide which of 12 checkpoints to randomly assign guards at to check carriages and backpacks for suspicious artifacts.




> The Crystal Ball of Feline Worldwide Communication - this magnificent crystal ball glows brightly and yowls whenever a cat photo is uploaded to the internet anywhere, leaving it basically permanently glowing and yowling at every second of the day.


Bury treasure with it. Then when you need to find your treasure, use the sound of this item to help you locate it. Also, you can drop it on a comet with a spaceship and keep track of it from Earth that way. Or combine it with solar panels to make them work at night time.

*Wand of Demand Undead*

This wand tells undead what you want them to do. But they can freely refuse to heed your demands if they are not also compelled to obey them.

----------


## Dr.Gunsforhands

It'll let you give instructions to uncontrolled zombies and skeletons as long as you don't directly contradict their programming. A long-ranged version lets vampire lords coordinate their underlings all over the world.

*Statue of a Statue:* When touched and given a command word, this marble statue reshapes itself into a scale copy of another sculpture within 60 ft., though it never copies moving parts. Several different sizes of this item exist.

----------


## MornShine

Suddenly, museums all over the world stop arguing about forceful acquisition its an exact copy, so both museums can display the piece of art.

The foremost sculptors duplicate the work of the ancient masters, trying to carve it into even more beautiful scrapes, without having to worry about screwing up.

A modern artist designates a solid twenty-five square meter cube of rare-earth metals as a sculpture. The world rejoices as item dupe glitches are discovered.

Neverful Flask: No matter how much liquid you put in it, this flask is never full. It only holds 10 cubic centimeters, though.

----------


## Smoutwortel

> Suddenly, museums all over the world stop arguing about forceful acquisition its an exact copy, so both museums can display the piece of art.
> 
> The foremost sculptors duplicate the work of the ancient masters, trying to carve it into even more beautiful scrapes, without having to worry about screwing up.
> 
> A modern artist designates a solid twenty-five square meter cube of rare-earth metals as a sculpture. The world rejoices as item dupe glitches are discovered.
> 
> Neverful Flask: No matter how much liquid you put in it, this flask is never full. It only holds 10 cubic centimeters, though.


Store problematic liquids in it like nuclear saltreactor waste, mining waste etc.

Spear of fear.
Build as a passion project of an artificer who wanted to understand the nature of fear. It's a spear made out of solid fear, which makes blunt and brittle, because of material constraints.

----------


## Rogan

> Store problematic liquids in it like nuclear saltreactor waste, mining waste etc.
> 
> Spear of fear.
> Build as a passion project of an artificer who wanted to understand the nature of fear. It's a spear made out of solid fear,  which makes blunt and brittle, because of material constraints.


It's still a magic weapon, so it will be semi-good when fighting incorporal creatures. The strength of the material isn't important there.

*Door of Locking*
This door is always locked. You can't open it, even if you have the correct key, skill or spell.

----------


## Smoutwortel

> It's still a magic weapon, so it will be semi-good when fighting incorporal creatures. The strength of the material isn't important there.
> 
> *Door of Locking*
> This door is always locked. You can't open it, even if you have the correct key, skill or spell.


Good trap for that vampire spawn in OOT who couldn't handle things that didn't do what they where supposed to do and also useful for incorporeal creatures and people with spells like passwall as a first layer of defense.

*Ballish Ballgown*
Ballgown that encourages the wearer to do all kind of stunts where the ballgown risks becoming dirty or damaged.

----------


## Dr.Gunsforhands

This item's sweet! Princess-adventurers wear it all the time, that's how they know where the action is!

Deck of Many Apples: This themed tarot deck depicts 78 different apple cultivars. When a card is drawn and played on a surface, it transforms. Until it leaves the table, it gains the shape, weight and appearance of its corresponding apple, but it remains a paper card in all other ways, including its nutritional value.

----------


## Rogan

> Deck of Many Apples: This themed tarot deck depicts 78 different apple cultivars. When a card is drawn and played on a surface, it transforms. Until it leaves the table, it gains the shape, weight and appearance of its corresponding apple, but it remains a paper card in all other ways, including its nutritional value.


A good way for a street vendor to present his options without being afraid of those annoying street rats stealing an apple "Cause I'm hungry".

* Paranoid proof of Poison* 
This magic device can be used to check any substance for poison. The result, which is accepted as evidence in every court, will always be positive.*

*Positive as in, the substance is poisoned.

----------


## MornShine

HahaHAHAhaHAha! With this, I can _easily_ frame the mayor, assistant mayor, sheriff, deputy, state prosecutor, and theatrical lead for MURDER most FOUL! Then, I can go on to take over this town-- and soon, the UNIVERSE!

*Windblown Hat

*This fashionable hat will always blow off of someone's head in even a gentle breeze.

----------


## Bucky

Our ritual involves an arrangement of powdered reagents and might fail dangerously if any powder blows off the piles. So our safety inspector wears the hat and stops the ritual if it leaves her head.




> It's still a magic weapon, so it will be semi-good when fighting incorporal creatures. The strength of the material isn't important there.


Plus, you get to literally strike fear into their hearts! What's not to like?

Speaking of fear and hats, _this_ hat makes the wearer feel perpetually skittish and even counters any magical resistance to fear they might have.

----------


## Smoutwortel

> Our ritual involves an arrangement of powdered reagents and might fail dangerously if any powder blows off the piles. So our safety inspector wears the hat and stops the ritual if it leaves her head.
> 
> 
> Plus, you get to literally strike fear into their hearts! What's not to like?
> 
> Speaking of fear and hats, _this_ hat makes the wearer feel perpetually skittish and even counters any magical resistance to fear they might have.


Usefull for creating an understanding of fear among fearless creatures and sabotaging opponents.

mist dagger
Dagger that can cut through mist. Doesn't remove the mist just leaves a cut like when you cut in the middle of a layer of cloth.

----------


## TwilightSandwic

Carve out cool shapes in the mist, sounds like a cool visual trick for a street performer or a dancer.


The Night Blade - during the night, this blade is nonexistent and is just an empty sword-hilt. During the day, it can manifest a blade made out of pure night. And anyone and anything that touches it disappear..... until sunset. Once it's night again, the Night Blade's effect and reversed and anything that it has touched pops back into existence where it was.

----------


## Smoutwortel

> Carve out cool shapes in the mist, sounds like a cool visual trick for a street performer or a dancer.
> 
> 
> The Night Blade - during the night, this blade is nonexistent and is just an empty sword-hilt. During the day, it can manifest a blade made out of pure night. And anyone and anything that touches it disappear..... until sunset. Once it's night again, the Night Blade's effect and reversed and anything that it has touched pops back into existence where it was.


Useful weapon to carve myself a path through a lot of things without even leaving that much traces and useful a training weapon.

The sentient verificator
It's a sentient rock that always knows with certainty if someone is authorized for something specified by its master. It has no way of communicating this information or any other information, because it's a rock.

----------


## oogaboogagoblin

you can still do rock things ignoring the magic ability like throwing it at people or using it as a paperweight

the soup bowl of decreased soupiness
it magically removes 5% of the seasoning of any soup you put in the bowl

----------


## paddyfool

Handy if you've accidentally used too much salt or chilli. (Presumably the effect is cumulative if you add the soup to this bowl multiple times). Can also make it easier to detect poisons if you take away distracting flavours.

Tiara of doom
Wearing this onto the stage of any contest of performing arts will immediately prejudice the judges against you, making it nigh impossible to win.

----------


## Dr.Gunsforhands

A warlock originally placed this curse on the queen to make her lose public arguments and, ultimately, to overthrow the monarchy. When the queen's people turned against her, she herself turned to prayer, and after a year in exile her curse became a blessing. Io teaches us to support our words with truths and evidence rather than rely on our reputation; our high priestess continues to wear this tiara as a constant reminder of that.

Lightest Bulb: This magically-bred species of tulip offsets its mass with a minor levitation effect, rendering it weightless to gravity as long as it's alive.

----------


## Smoutwortel

> A warlock originally placed this curse on the queen to make her lose public arguments and, ultimately, to overthrow the monarchy. When the queen's people turned against her, she herself turned to prayer, and after a year in exile her curse became a blessing. Io teaches us to support our words with truths and evidence rather than rely on our reputation; our high priestess continues to wear this tiara as a constant reminder of that.
> 
> Lightest Bulb: This magically-bred species of tulip offsets its mass with a minor levitation effect, rendering it weightless to gravity as long as it's alive.


Good crop to get structurally unsound places like dikes and such to grow to be more stable.

Dragonic ale: ale made from dragon piss which attracts aggressive dragons when drank, but is easily distinguishable from normal ale.

----------


## MornShine

Taunt mechanic? Taunt mechanic.

Really, getting a giant, fire-breathing, angry, magical lizard to attack when and where you're prepared is better than the alternative.


*Glitter-Glue of Reflection:*

When applied to an object, any wound the object makes on an enemy appears on the wielder instead!

----------


## TwilightSandwic

Just carry a bottle of it with you and spary it on your enemies as they go into battle. Spary it on their fists too! Now they literally cannot hurt you without hurting themselves.


Boots of Unwalking: Putting these boots on will make the wearer walk in reverse. They cannot be outsmarted by trying to deliberately walk in reverse, you will always go the opposite direction of where you truly want to go.

----------


## Smoutwortel

> Just carry a bottle of it with you and spary it on your enemies as they go into battle. Spary it on their fists too! Now they literally cannot hurt you without hurting themselves.
> 
> 
> Boots of Unwalking: Putting these boots on will make the wearer walk in reverse. They cannot be outsmarted by trying to deliberately walk in reverse, you will always go the opposite direction of where you truly want to go.


Useful for recovering addicts.

My first one counted as deliberately cursed, so here is an alternative

Braked braces:
braces that can be set to stop all movement in the mouth of their wearer if the wearer wishes so.

----------


## Dr.Gunsforhands

My character fights with a bite attack and Improved Grapple.

Reinconcrete: When this concrete pillar is destroyed (as opposed to merely damaged) it reappears on the nearest stable, unoccupied surface.

----------


## Smoutwortel

> My character fights with a bite attack and Improved Grapple.
> 
> Reinconcrete: When this concrete pillar is destroyed (as opposed to merely damaged) it reappears on the nearest stable, unoccupied surface.


very good as temporary reinforcement by building projects and a good way for checking if the ground is good enough for building.

fair fairy flail: for every very fairy this flail kills 8 other fairies of differing alignment die.

----------


## MornShine

Smokey the Neutral Druid says: the best way to ensure true balance both in the multiverse and in nature is to ensure that all Aligned fairies are dead, the little jerks.

*Shoes of Dancing*
These shoes magically mold themselves to the beat, causing the wearer to dance perfectly. Unfortunately, due to an unresolved argument about indexing between the two lead thamaturges, the boots suffer from an off-by-one error the boots waltz when theres swing, tango when theres a waltz, square dance when theres a tango, and so on.

----------


## Smoutwortel

> Smokey the Neutral Druid says: the best way to ensure true balance both in the multiverse and in nature is to ensure that all Aligned fairies are dead, the little jerks.
> 
> *Shoes of Dancing*
> These shoes magically mold themselves to the beat, causing the wearer to dance perfectly. Unfortunately, due to an unresolved argument about indexing between the two lead thamaturges, the boots suffer from an off-by-one error the boots waltz when theres swing, tango when theres a waltz, square dance when theres a tango, and so on.


First jealous noble lovers used it to trick dancing partners in looking like they were intentionally embarrassing each other in public, but nowadays they are displayed at the management university as a cautionary tale.

Saddle of DM's convenience:
when mounted on a horse who's also your familiar the horse can be ridden without the skill, but causes all the stats to be treated as if you weren't sitting on the horse, but only stood besides it.

----------


## Dr.Gunsforhands

You're burying the lead. This item lets you have a horse as your familiar, and you don't even need to make concentration checks for casting and riding at the same time? Finally, my cowboy sorcerer idea might actually work!

Tem Flake:
favorti food of tem. Ver goodz! Pleas buy!
(...it's just a torn up piece of construction paper.)

----------


## Smoutwortel

> You're burying the lead. This item lets you have a horse as your familiar, and you don't even need to make concentration checks for casting and riding at the same time? Finally, my cowboy sorcerer idea might actually work!
> 
> Tem Flake:
> favorti food of tem. Ver goodz! Pleas buy!
> (...it's just a torn up piece of construction paper.)


Three things. You can use it to cheer up a "tem" with their favorite food, you can use it as regular construction paper and it's still a magic item and can thus be used to mislead intruders, inspectors, etc.

slow boots:
These boots function like regular boots when on your feet, but can't be transported faster than 5km per hour when not on someone's feet.

----------


## oogaboogagoblin

you could plant the slow boots on say a wagon to keep it from escaping/track it easier.

the chess set of unlimited stupidity
everytime you make a check or checkmate with this chess set (both white and black) roll on the wild magic surge table once and the effect plays out

----------


## mucat

> the chess set of unlimited stupidity
> everytime you make a check or checkmate with this chess set (both white and black) roll on the wild magic surge table once and the effect plays out


I show it to the James Randi Foundation folks, collect a million dollars and, like, all the Nobel Prizes _ever_, and go down in history as the biggest thing to hit physics since Newton.  Also, people pay me not to have my easily-rebuilt chess robots play chess near them.

*Perfectly Ordinary Pebble*
This pebble is fully sapient, possessing godlike intelligence and phenomenal cosmic powers, which it uses to disguise itself as a perfectly ordinary pebble in every detectable way.

----------


## Dr.Gunsforhands

Objection! What right have we to criticize this noble creature for their so-called, 'uselessness?' They have clearly assumed this form to avoid getting caught up in our worldly affairs, and I intend to respect their wishes!

Baby Sphinx's Puzzle:
This painted box resembles a simple colored-tile puzzle cube. After a minute of playing with it, a DC 17 Intelligence check will reveal that it is literally unsolvable because of the way the colors on the corner tiles are arranged. Speaking the appropriate command word magically switches the tiles to make the puzzle solvable. Another command word will make it unsolvable again.

----------


## Smoutwortel

> Objection! What right have we to criticize this noble creature for their so-called, 'uselessness?' They have clearly assumed this form to avoid getting caught up in our worldly affairs, and I intend to respect their wishes!
> 
> Baby Sphinx's Puzzle:
> This painted box resembles a simple colored-tile puzzle cube. After a minute of playing with it, a DC 17 Intelligence check will reveal that it is literally unsolvable because of the way the colors on the corner tiles are arranged. Speaking the appropriate command word magically switches the tiles to make the puzzle solvable. Another command word will make it unsolvable again.


Great way of scamming people out of their gambling money.

Fire of hatred.
This is a fire fueled by hatred which only only warms the hated people.

----------


## Rogan

> Fire of hatred.
> This is a fire fueled by hatred which only only warms the hated people.


Perfect way to heat your home if you hate yourself. 

*Boomerang Bomb*
This magic device will detonate after being thrown. It will also always return to the thrower (before exploding).

----------


## Smoutwortel

> Perfect way to heat your home if you hate yourself. 
> 
> *Boomerang Bomb*
> This magic device will detonate after being thrown. It will also always return to the thrower (before exploding).


Useful for dramatic self sacrifices with witty banter and blowing up important people instead of goons when getting kidnapped.

*Child bragger*
This is a magic notebook that when bound to a child will write down all bragging parents do about the child.

----------


## Dr.Gunsforhands

Makes a heck of a cover letter for your college entrance application. Or your obituary.

So, I was working on this new candy with my royal alchemy grant. Its guaranteed not to melt or get sticky unless its  specifically exposed to saliva, and you can just keep it anywhere without a wrapper because dirt wipes right off! The problem is, now that Ive put the whole formula together for my big presentation batch, it tastes... bad. Like, cat pee and kerosine bad. My first thought was to sell it as long-lasting rations, but it was originally supposed to be a _diet_ candy, so theres like zero calorie density. If I cant justify this somehow, the king will ban me from alchemy forever, or worse! What am I gonna do...?

----------


## Bucky

That sounds like an ideal industrial sealant for applications where contact with saliva is unlikely.

This one-inch spider construct tries to walk endlessly in a straight line. However, any obstacle (or encumbrance) will stop it.

----------


## MornShine

Tie a thin thread to it and use it to run that thread through places (straight pipes, over bridges, etc.) Then you can pull on the string to pull a thicker string, and so on and so on until you're pulling fibre optics or bridge cables, just like irl.

*Shirt of Bending
*
This magical t-shirt quickly repairs any damage, and ensures that no matter what you're trying to wear it with, it won't be flattering.

----------


## Dr.Gunsforhands

My warforged can turn this into her plating like she does with magic armor, right? This would give her basically infinite regeneration, right? And she doesn't need to wear anything else, so it looks as cool as I want, right?

*Trident of Call Phishing*
This spear-but-worse comes with 7 charges. An attuned user can expend these charges to cast the following spells:
Sending (3 charges)
Dream (3 charges)
Animal Messenger (1 charge)
The owner cannot specify a target for these spells; in each case, the message is instead delivered to a random target in range, who may then respond to the message as they see fit. The user does not know who received a message unless the recipient says in their response, and even then the trident provides no way to verify such information.
The trident recovers 1d6 charges every afternoon at dinnertime. When the last charge is used, a warrant for the user's arrest automatically materializes somewhere in mechanus, citing a strangely specific omniplanar communications law.

----------


## oogaboogagoblin

this would be an incredibly potent advertisement tool, imagine getting a dream or psychic message telling you to invest in apple, i certainly would consider it

the braclet of time
it can cast stop time once, but the caster cant move,see,hear,interact with anything,or cast a spell

----------


## Bucky

Ever wish you could just stop the world and think for a while, with no work to do and no distractions? Now you can!

Wand of detect air
This wand will tell you the distance and direction of the air nearest to the wand, ties broken by the nearest direction to the direction the wand's pointing.

----------


## Smoutwortel

> My warforged can turn this into her plating like she does with magic armor, right? This would give her basically infinite regeneration, right? And she doesn't need to wear anything else, so it looks as cool as I want, right?
> 
> *Trident of Call Phishing*
> This spear-but-worse comes with 7 charges. An attuned user can expend these charges to cast the following spells:
> Sending (3 charges)
> Dream (3 charges)
> Animal Messenger (1 charge)
> The owner cannot specify a target for these spells; in each case, the message is instead delivered to a random target in range, who may then respond to the message as they see fit. The user does not know who received a message unless the recipient says in their response, and even then the trident provides no way to verify such information.
> The trident recovers 1d6 charges every afternoon at dinnertime. When the last charge is used, a warrant for the user's arrest automatically materializes somewhere in mechanus, citing a strangely specific omniplanar communications law.


So I can use this to trick other people in getting themselves arrested, use it to find out if there are any allies nearby and use it as a random generator.

Club of imprisonment:

Was actually a pretty useful weapon when first used, because it can be used to permanently imprison super powerful immortal creatures, but it is single use. Now it has been used to imprison an evil faerie arch mage ghost who tries to manipulate the wielder into preforming the rites needed to release it and allow it to possess the wielder.

----------


## Dr.Gunsforhands

> Wand of detect air


 :Vaarsuvius:  - Having found this item among our mysterious missing person's belongings, we can safely infer that they have recently visited or were planning to visit the elemental plane of water, for that is the one place in the multiverse where where such divining tools are frequently constructed and used.




> Club of imprisonment:


Okay, but, like, the faerie archmage is probably super-cute, right? She probably knows Polymorph Any Object, too. Could you honestly say that you'd rather have me around than her?

Edit: Right! New Item!

Wand of Summon Chibi 1:
Summons a plushie version of a monster from the Summon Monster 1 list. Still only lasts 1 round per level.

----------


## Smoutwortel

> - Having found this item among our mysterious missing person's belongings, we can safely infer that they have recently visited or were planning to visit the elemental plane of water, for that is the one place in the multiverse where where such divining tools are frequently constructed and used.
> 
> 
> 
> Okay, but, like, the faerie archmage is probably super-cute, right? She probably knows Polymorph Any Object, too. Could you honestly say that you'd rather have me around than her?
> 
> Edit: Right! New Item!
> 
> Wand of Summon Chibi 1:
> Summons a plushie version of a monster from the Summon Monster 1 list. Still only lasts 1 round per level.


Can be used for shooting stand scamming, scaring spies and enemies by presenting them with beasts that look like summoned monsters, distracting meddeling kids and infiltration actions(if animated),

ammunition of the Precognitors:
Before the catastrophe the Precognitors lived and fought, they build gigantic missiles that could level entire cities and sometimes entire countries, but during the catastrophe all missile launchers got destroyed and the ways to build them lost. These missiles explode immediately when touched.

----------


## Rogan

> ammunition of the Precognitors:
> Before the catastrophe the Precognitors lived and fought, they build gigantic missiles that could level entire cities and sometimes entire countries, but during the catastrophe all missile launchers got destroyed and the ways to build them lost. These missiles explode immediately when touched.


Lure the BBEG near one and touch it. Oh, and don't forget to prepare a resurrection!

* Bag of few things* 
Whenever you pull something out of this bag, roll a d6 and you get the thing indicated below:
1) a small twig
2) a copper coin
3) a rock (usable as ammunition for a sling)
4) a living and hostile mouse 
5) a breadcrumb
6) a handful of dust
You can pull out 3 things from this magic bag each day.

----------


## Bucky

Over a period of years, this bag has let our fort build up its stockpile of sling ammunition and scrap copper. The other trash gets composted in the outer earthworks.

*False Torch*
On command, one end of this stick covers itself with an illusionary flame that gives no heat and casts no light on the surroundings.

----------


## sengmeng

It's way safer than the real thing for my fire dancing routine.





*Stick of Fetching*

When thrown, a small spectral dog appears and returns the stick to you, setting it at your feet and disappearing. The dog is intangible to all objects but the stick. The stick is too small and light to function as a weapon.

----------


## Smoutwortel

> It's way safer than the real thing for my fire dancing routine.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> *Stick of Fetching*
> 
> When thrown, a small spectral dog appears and returns the stick to you, setting it at your feet and disappearing. The dog is intangible to all objects but the stick. The stick is too small and light to function as a weapon.


Really useful for manipulative guys who're trying to pick up women at the park, but don't want to take care of the dog.

*Weapon of mess destruction*
when this bomb goes of it destroys all decomposing matter in the area, but nothing more.

----------


## MornShine

I know cleaners who would kill-- probably literally-- to have this.
Depending on the definition of "decomposing", this is the perfect way to clean up nuclear waste.

*Sticky Stick:*
This stick sticks to surfaces, creatures, and other sticks, but only with enough force to stick itself to that object so it remains stuck. It's difficult to remove, because the stick will almost always be sticking to something, which can stick in some folks' craw, though others think it fantastic.

----------


## Dr.Gunsforhands

If the outlined magnetization will have the degree of caprice that you would apparently imply, the item may be relegated to merely hanging a flag or a placard. Maybe it could be an upgrade for your grappling hook? Then you could latch onto a ceiling or a moving vehicle with an elementary touch attack.

Headband of Enablement: This item gives you a +3 bonus to charisma-based checks made to convince someone not to give up smoking.

----------


## paddyfool

Obviously useful for tobacco vendors, and some use for people standing to inherit besides.

*Zaphod Beeblebrox's Gargleblaster Synthesizer*
Makes Pan Galactic Gargleblasters, using technology sufficiently advanced to be indistinguishable from magic in your game setting. They aren't nearly as punchy or satisfying as the real thing, however.

----------


## Smoutwortel

> Obviously useful for tobacco vendors, and some use for people standing to inherit besides.
> 
> *Zaphod Beeblebrox's Gargleblaster Synthesizer*
> Makes Pan Galactic Gargleblasters, using technology sufficiently advanced to be indistinguishable from magic in your game setting. They aren't nearly as punchy or satisfying as the real thing, however.


The fact that it's technology indistinguishable from magic makes it one of the few useful "magic" weapons for the few magic immune creatures that tend to stalk any fantasy setting.

*Worn water*
You know that time Elsa wears a dress made of ice. This is like that dress, but non-frozen and it doesn't provide Elsa's build in cold resistance needed to comfortably wear a dress made of ice in a building made of ice in a snowstorm.

----------


## Trog

I hand them out to all water park goers so they can slide down water slides without the need for all the plumbing to pump the water into the slides.

*The Horn of rodnoG* - whenever this horn is sounded it brings enemies to you.

----------


## Bucky

Forcing our enemies into ambushes over and over again is a proven recipe for winning wars.

*Ship launching boots*
This pair of wood-paneled boots come with model ships that perch upon their vamps (upper part in front of the laces) with magical stability. Upon deliberately plucking a lace, the model ship is flung up to 10', still stabilized and guaranteed to land safely upright if it lands in water.

----------


## Dr.Gunsforhands

This lets the demon roaches keep their construction side of their shipyards safely away from the tides and from naval attacks.

*Violin of Self-Censorship:* Whenever certain pieces are played on this violin, it magically silences itself.

----------


## sengmeng

> *Violin of Self-Censorship:* Whenever certain pieces are played on this violin, it magically silences itself.


Assuming you have to play correctly, this lets your violin teacher know if you actually played the song by going silent. Even better, it means you played it right while not able to hear the notes. You rock!



*Balloon of Occasional Buoyancy*
This helium balloon rises.... sometimes.

----------


## Smoutwortel

> Assuming you have to play correctly, this lets your violin teacher know if you actually played the song by going silent. Even better, it means you played it right while not able to hear the notes. You rock!
> 
> 
> 
> *Balloon of Occasional Buoyancy*
> This helium balloon rises.... sometimes.


Since its rising time is based on time instead of weight you could use it to move really heavy objects.

*Random glass ceiling installer*
This houseplant causes a methaphorical glass ceiling in the location it's placed it doesn't specifically target women, but chooses who to target from a percentile table.

----------


## Dr.Gunsforhands

It's a subtle mind-control device, fit for the thoughtful super-villain or the patient saboteur. There is no upside to using it on your own turf, of course; if anyone would seem to benefit, it's only because the plant is sapping their free will.

*Book Ruiner 2000:* When you point this wand at a Tiny or smaller object made of paper or parchment, it soaks it in a translucent mixture of water and green dye. _(The wand-user must make a caster level check to overcome any magical or alchemical defenses against the elements that the book may have.)_

----------


## Smoutwortel

> It's a subtle mind-control device, fit for the thoughtful super-villain or the patient saboteur. There is no upside to using it on your own turf, of course; if anyone would seem to benefit, it's only because the plant is sapping their free will.
> 
> *Book Ruiner 2000:* When you point this wand at a Tiny or smaller object made of paper or parchment, it soaks it in a translucent mixture of water and green dye. _(The wand-user must make a caster level check to overcome any magical or alchemical defenses against the elements that the book may have.)_


Easy way to hidden and hard to reach books when doing the magical eQuivalent of a book burning.

*The Fire*
We didn't start the fire.
It was always burning, since the world's been turning.

----------


## Rogan

> *The Fire*
> We didn't start the fire.
> It was always burning, since the world's been turning.


It will still burn on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on...

... which is pretty useful for any kind of situation where you want some reliable source of light and warmth. 

*Neverburning Torch*
This is basically the opposite of an everburning torch. So no matter what you do, it will never generate light.

----------


## HalfTangible

> It will still burn on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on...
> 
> ... which is pretty useful for any kind of situation where you want some reliable source of light and warmth. 
> 
> *Neverburning Torch*
> This is basically the opposite of an everburning torch. So no matter what you do, it will never generate light.


Put it onto a fire, it will cut it off from fuel and thus smother it.

*Named Mirror*

Functions as a normal mirror, except you can only see people in it with the same name as you.

----------


## Dr.Gunsforhands

...so, just a normal mirror, then? Well, okay, there's more to it than that: it's a specific, needlessly complicated, but no less effective form of ID check. You just need to employ one shmuck who's willing to have their name legally changed every 5 seconds. It might be perceived as discrimination against vampires, though.

Audiodrone: When thrown, this paper airplane becomes a construct made of sound, travels at the speed of sound, and reflects off of surfaces like a sound wave. When the sound naturally dissipates (i.e. when it reaches about 0 dB), it returns to its paper form wherever it wound up.

----------


## Rogan

> Audiodrone: When thrown, this paper airplane becomes a construct made of sound, travels at the speed of sound, and reflects off of surfaces like a sound wave. When the sound naturally dissipates (i.e. when it reaches about 0 dB), it returns to its paper form wherever it wound up.


That's probably a nice device to create an distraction.

*Chicken Charming Charm*
This magic item will automatically make every chicken fall in love with the wearer. It won't help them communicate in any way.

----------


## Smoutwortel

> That's probably a nice device to create an distraction.
> 
> *Chicken Charming Charm*
> This magic item will automatically make every chicken fall in love with the wearer. It won't help them communicate in any way.


Still useful to herd them by having them follow you.

The robes of beauty:
Effect of a misinterpretation of an order of the Queen. This are robes made of pure beauty, but visually actually Quite ugly.

----------


## Dr.Gunsforhands

The high priest of Frigg claimed it for a time, as the wise recognize true beauty for what it is. Ironically, it now resides in the hoard of a dragon who always saw beauty as an object and doesn't appreciate its meaning it all. A creative artificer could probably unravel the robes and recycle the raw material somehow, but the dragon's not hearing any of it.

*Glowy Thing:* This 10-pound stone tablet glows dimly with a pale blue light as long as it's held in both hands.

----------


## sengmeng

> *Glowy Thing:* This 10-pound stone tablet glows dimly with a pale blue light as long as it's held in both hands.


I'm definitely getting one of these to hold when I lay down the rules of my next cult.



*Ketchup Gun*
A bit of a misnomer... it can actually shoot all condiments up to a range of fifty feet. No other materials, however.

----------


## Bucky

"My lord, we have mustarded our soldiers for battle and... wait, what?"

Given that condiments tend to have strong and distinct smells, this gun marks its targets for later tracking by scent. Use something like vinegar and it might warn even races that don't usually have a keen sense of smell that the marked target is skulking about unseen.

*Snake Lift*
This basket elevator by the cliffside will take any snake contained within to one of five caves or ledges, as the snake desires. If it's empty, a snake can also summon it to any of those stops. Unfortunately, it does not work for snakes whose minds have been externally modified.

----------


## Dr.Gunsforhands

When a druid uses wild shape to turn into a snake, their minds aren't technically modified. Neither are the minds of the intelligent fiendish snakes that haunt the canyons of the demon wastes. Your familiar is out of luck, though.

Wand of Benign Tumescence: The target of this wand must make a DC13 fort save or instantly develop a 1 lb. tumor within their torso. It's not cancerous. It goes away after 2 hours. The wand is usable about 3 times per day.

----------


## Smoutwortel

> When a druid uses wild shape to turn into a snake, their minds aren't technically modified. Neither are the minds of the intelligent fiendish snakes that haunt the canyons of the demon wastes. Your familiar is out of luck, though.
> 
> Wand of Benign Tumescence: The target of this wand must make a DC13 fort save or instantly develop a 1 lb. tumor within their torso. It's not cancerous. It goes away after 2 hours. The wand is usable about 3 times per day.


Can be used for temporal patching on hard to reach places for medical care. starving a certain area for medical care and tumor research.

The ancient computer:
This computer is always three generations out of date with all its aspects.

----------


## oogaboogagoblin

this is incredibly useful! instead of getting a good computer that gets bad over time or getting good/mediocre computers over and over, all you have to do is get one janky computer that improves over time.

staff of mild boredom
this staff has one charge. using the charge, you can make anyone within 60 feet mildly bored. the staff does not recharge and doesn't work on people feeling strong emotions

----------


## Bucky

Want to know whether the woman you're courting actually has strong feeling towards you? Zap her with this staff and see whether she loses interest! Strong feelings are not guaranteed to be true love, please use responsibly.

*Malignant Morphing Mace*
This weapon, when wielded, will transform into an arbitrary but apparently mundane one-handed melee weapon that the wielder is not proficient with. It keeps its true form if the wielder is not proficient with light maces or is somehow proficient with all weapons.

----------


## Dr.Gunsforhands

Technically it's a bit more expensive than buying one of every martial weapon, but a fighter college shouldn't need to reserve the footprint of an entire armory for every student.

Paella Pan of Mighty Cleaving: As long as this heavy pan is full of hot food (traditionally paella, but other dishes also work), its holder has use of the Great Cleave feat.

----------


## Smoutwortel

> Technically it's a bit more expensive than buying one of every martial weapon, but a fighter college shouldn't need to reserve the footprint of an entire armory for every student.
> 
> Paella Pan of Mighty Cleaving: As long as this heavy pan is full of hot food (traditionally paella, but other dishes also work), its holder has use of the Great Cleave feat.


Depends on the rules and the power of the wielder. If it doesn't have build in hand holdings it can be made wieldable with isolating gloves. When the wielder is really strong it could be a great all purpose weapon for dealing damage to creatures with immunities and resistances, otherwise you could give them a single handed weapon and have them wield that one while holding the heavy pan. Does the food have to be cold enough to eat or can it also containing foods of higher temperatures than 30 degrees Celcius, so it does more fire damage?

Peter pan:
Only people named Peter can be baked in this pan.

----------


## TwilightSandwic

Just name all of your gingerbread men "Peter", problem solved!


Sword of Barshnibnab Slaying - this sword can instantly kill any Barshnibnabs that it cuts. A shame that there's no such thing as a Barshnibnab.

----------


## paddyfool

> Sword of Barshnibnab Slaying - this sword can instantly kill any Barshnibnabs that it cuts. A shame that there's no such thing as a Barshnibnab.


Handy piece of kit to give your lab assistant if you're creating new life forms, especially if they're potentially dangerous. All you have to do is put "Barshnibnab" in their name.

----------


## Dr.Gunsforhands

*Paddy Fool:* A life-sized faceless doll, stuffed with straw and dressed as a jester. If you set it in a rice field, it will stand in place and occasionally wave its arms around to scare off pesky birds. It can also write forum posts describing uses for useless magic items, but it won't always remember to make a new item for the next poster.

----------


## Bucky

If I keep showing it doctored versions of this thread, I can get another set of new uses for the old items.

*Thundercaller's Trumpet*
When played outside, the performer is struck by lightning every 2d6 rounds, receiving 3d6 electric damage (Reflex half, DC is 9 plus the performer's Perform(Wind Instruments) modifiers). During a rainstorm, the lightning strikes every 2d4 rounds instead and its damage increases to 3d10.

----------


## MornShine

Many a hapless Igor has been sent to stand atop a lightning rod, trembling and playing Ominous Trumpet Music for an impatient Mad Scientist.

Unrelatedly, the improvisational Heavy Metal jazz band[1] Plants, Flesh, and Steel[2] is based around this item, which provides their amazing onstage energy-- and the percussion.
*

Vase of Eternal Flagrance
*
When a flower is placed in this vase, it combusts into heatless flames which do not consume the flower, but release scented smoke just as if the flower were burning.

[1] Yes, both.
[2] Composed of shambling mounds, flesh golems, and Lesser Mechanatri, naturally.

----------


## Rogan

> *
> Vase of Eternal Flagrance
> *
> When a flower is placed in this vase, it combusts into heatless flames which do not consume the flower, but release scented smoke just as if the flower were burning.


Just use some flowers which smell nice when burned and you will never have to worry about bad smells. 

* Magic Power Storage* 
This item can store magic power. Unfortunately, there is no way to get the energy back again.

----------


## oogaboogagoblin

use it to permanantly suck away the power from a world-destroying machine or make a spell, useless. turn the evil archlich into a angry skeleton. the possibilities are endless

flute of gravity detection
when dropped, the flute plays one C note  if gravity is still active, if the flute falls in any direction other than down it plays one D note, it doesnt activate if thrown

----------


## Dr.Gunsforhands

I think this works as a police siren on the elemental plane of air.

*Fountain of the Vicious Elixir:* When someone bathes in this fountain, they are subject to a random Emotion effect until they leave the fountain, at which point they're covered in sticky sugar which is useless as rations but still attracts ants.

----------


## DaedalusMkV

> I think this works as a police siren on the elemental plane of air.
> 
> *Fountain of the Vicious Elixir:* When someone bathes in this fountain, they are subject to a random Emotion effect until they leave the fountain, at which point they're covered in sticky sugar which is useless as rations but still attracts ants.


'Random' is just another word for 'eventually guaranteed the result you want'. You have a fountain which produces any emotion you could ever want for anyone inside of it. If nothing else it should make a spectacular tourist attraction. Or torture device.

*The Ring of Indeterminate Value:*
Attempts to determine a fair market price of this engraved silver ring by any means, magical or mundane, always fail. The composition and workmanship of the ring are easily determined and unspectacular, but even the most knowledgeable expert cannot narrow down the actual value of the ring beyond 'It's definitely worth some amount of money'. The ring has no special physical properties.

----------


## Bucky

Oh, that's a charlatan detector! See, if you ask any merchant what they think it's worth, they'll admit they can't come up with a fair price. But ask a swindler and he'll make something up. 

*Bulky Backpack*
The extradimensional space in this backpack is half the volume implied by the bag's exterior dimensions.

----------


## Dr.Gunsforhands

If you can get two of them, they basically become a discount scroll of plane shift.

Staff of the Ancients: This weapon acts as as a +3 child bane quarterstaff in the hands of a fighter of at least venerable age. For each age category a wielder is below venerable, the staff bestows a negative level that bypasses all immunity to negative levels and that can only be removed by removing the staff from your person. Creatures that do not age or are immune to aging are treated as young adults by the staff.

----------


## Gold Leaf

> If you can get two of them, they basically become a discount scroll of plane shift.
> 
> Staff of the Ancients: This weapon acts as as a +3 child bane quarterstaff in the hands of a fighter of at least venerable age. For each age category a wielder is below venerable, the staff bestows a negative level that bypasses all immunity to negative levels and that can only be removed by removing the staff from your person. Creatures that do not age or are immune to aging are treated as young adults by the staff.


If I'm not mistaken, that could prove a handy tool in ensuring sorcerer children don't cause any real damage with their innate abilities.

Misapplied Poison Quiver: This quiver always contains as many arrows as you need, and will never run out. However, every arrow has its shaft and only its shaft covered in Crawler Mucus, poisoning and paralyzing you if you grab an arrow from the shaft.

----------


## Smoutwortel

> If I'm not mistaken, that could prove a handy tool in ensuring sorcerer children don't cause any real damage with their innate abilities.
> 
> Misapplied Poison Quiver: This quiver always contains as many arrows as you need, and will never run out. However, every arrow has its shaft and only its shaft covered in Crawler Mucus, poisoning and paralyzing you if you grab an arrow from the shaft.


Good ammunition source for my demonstration of the automatic loading crossbow I and my artificer friends made(that will learn those spies muhaha)

Hat of power lust:
Anyone wearing this hat will start frantically collecting energy sources.

----------


## MornShine

Great way to identify energy sources. Also a convenient cursed item to apply to dragons-- they still hoard, now it's just something different.

The next magic item is a knife which automagically washes itself after use.

----------


## paddyfool

Handy for any practical application since you don't have to then clean it yourself after use, whether it's ordinary kitchen use or more unpleasant specifics like gutting fish.

Also, on the subject of unpleasantness, it makes quite a convenient murder weapon if it successfully removes fingerprints and DNA.

*Duvet of Dungeon Dreams*

Sleeping beneath this duvet provides the sleep of gods... in that it brings forth monster-filled dungeons beneath the world around you.

----------


## QuantumFlash

A bit of lucid dreaming and a good advertising campaign, and it's never been easier to make custom dungeons for adventurers to power level in.

*Boots of Walking*
These boots are made for walking, and that's just what they'll do.  Once worn for the first time, these boots do not stop walking under any circumstance, including once they've been removed, and make strength checks to burst through any barrier in their way.

----------


## Bucky

Assuming you want a use that's more militant than a simple and exploitable perpetual motion machine - weigh 'em down and put 'em in a hamster wheel - you can deploy them in a siege assault situation to break down doors without risking your skin, as no trap or ambush can stop the shoes.

*Merciful Battering Ram
*This 10-man siege ram deals an extra +1d6 damage per hit, but all its damage is subdual/nonlethal damage. Unlike the normal Merciful weapon enchantment, this property cannot be suppressed.

----------


## Gold Leaf

> Assuming you want a use that's more militant than a simple and exploitable perpetual motion machine - weigh 'em down and put 'em in a hamster wheel - you can deploy them in a siege assault situation to break down doors without risking your skin, as no trap or ambush can stop the shoes.
> 
> *Merciful Battering Ram
> *This 10-man siege ram deals an extra +1d6 damage per hit, but all its damage is subdual/nonlethal damage. Unlike the normal Merciful weapon enchantment, this property cannot be suppressed.


Say you're some kind of cop who's located a room full of interrogation targets and need the fastest way in without killing any of them? This will be your friend.

Wand of Neutrality Detection
This wand, when pointed at anyone, tells you how neutral they are. The wand emits green light when detecting someone of either the Neutral Good, Neutral Evil, Lawful Neutral or Chaotic Neutral alignment, and a more intense green light when detecting a True Neutral individual. If none of these conditions are satisfied, the wand does not glow.

----------


## MornShine

The Druid Convention uses them to make sure none of the annoying extremist nature-Clerics sneak in.

Coin of Flagrant Falsehood:

The person attuned to this golden coin can switch which face is up at will. However, the process takes six seconds and the coin emits a glow and a humming noise while changing, making it near-impossible to use to cheat.

(I think I stole this from Pathfinder, but I can't seem to find it anywhere).

----------


## Smoutwortel

> The Druid Convention uses them to make sure none of the annoying extremist nature-Clerics sneak in.
> 
> Coin of Flagrant Falsehood:
> 
> The person attuned to this golden coin can switch which face is up at will. However, the process takes six seconds and the coin emits a glow and a humming noise while changing, making it near-impossible to use to cheat.
> 
> (I think I stole this from Pathfinder, but I can't seem to find it anywhere).


Can be used as a on will activatable home beacon in badly lit dungeons where you don't want to wake the inhabitants.

Vampire mirror ring.
When a vampire wears this their left side is suddenly their right side and the other way around.

----------


## Gold Leaf

> Can be used as a on will activatable home beacon in badly lit dungeons where you don't want to wake the inhabitants.
> 
> Vampire mirror ring.
> When a vampire wears this their left side is suddenly their right side and the other way around.


Put it on before fighting a hero. They'll go to stake you in the heart, but surprise! It's not on the side they were expecting, and they miss, giving you an opportunity to suck their blood.

Suspicious Sword
Whilst carrying this sword, all law enforcement automatically assumes you are a criminal.Additionally, Lawful-aligned NPCs will attempt to apprehend, avoid or kill you if they see you holding it.

----------


## Dr.Gunsforhands

Undetectable mass mind control with no save? That's not just useful, it's broken as hell - as in, Hell itself will break when the devils' enemies get a hold of this thing and disrupt their formations with ease.

Open Earmuffs: Wearing these earmuffs does not give you the usual penalty on listen checks! They also do not provide the usual bonus against damage and fatigue in cold weather.

----------


## Smoutwortel

> Undetectable mass mind control with no save? That's not just useful, it's broken as hell - as in, Hell itself will break when the devils' enemies get a hold of this thing and disrupt their formations with ease.
> 
> Open Earmuffs: Wearing these earmuffs does not give you the usual penalty on listen checks! They also do not provide the usual bonus against damage and fatigue in cold weather.


Useful way of pretending to be a non-listening outsider, while spying.

The fire of personal sacrifice.
This fire is fueled by the emotional connection people with the things that it consumes.

----------


## Bucky

Grudges are emotional connections. The flames of my wrath shall consume my enemies.

Frostbite Gloves
These thick insulated gloves gradually freeze any living flesh that remains inside them for too long, to the tune of 1 cold damage per round after the first 1d6 rounds.

----------


## Smoutwortel

> Grudges are emotional connections. The flames of my wrath shall consume my enemies.
> 
> Frostbite Gloves
> These thick insulated gloves gradually freeze any living flesh that remains inside them for too long, to the tune of 1 cold damage per round after the first 1d6 rounds.


Worn by the smith to handle particular warm metals without serious damage.
Sometimes they're also lend out to the expedition trainer of the guards of the heated city to train people to handle colder temperatures.

The stupid ring of damage reduction.
This ring will make you impervious to any kind of damage done to your body, but if the ring is damaged you're too and the ring will teleport into the hand of your worst enemy every time.

----------


## Tom the Mime

Other than the obvious hail mary when you're about to get badly hurt, especially if your worst enemy didn't know how the ring works,  it's also good at finding out who your secret enemies are. 




> Vampire mirror ring.
> When a vampire wears this their left side is suddenly their right side and the other way around.


Brilliant setup for the line "I know something that you do not know. I am not left handed"

Goggles of hindsight - once attuned, you see as if your eyes were in the back of your head, not your front. This effect cannot be removed by taking off the goggles.

----------


## Dr.Gunsforhands

I'd argue that this gives permanent immunity to gaze attacks! Ironically, you probably found it in Medusa's house, since it would stop self-inflicted petrifying at the very least.

Edible Computer: This 20-year-old, 15-pound laptop is made of a non-toxic, chalky substance. It runs Windows 95, at least until you eat one of its functional components.

----------


## Smoutwortel

> I'd argue that this gives permanent immunity to gaze attacks! Ironically, you probably found it in Medusa's house, since it would stop self-inflicted petrifying at the very least.
> 
> Edible Computer: This 20-year-old, 15-pound laptop is made of a non-toxic, chalky substance. It runs Windows 95, at least until you eat one of its functional components.


A laptop without significant environmental impact even if you were to drop it in the wild. Woot. The eco-friends bought it and and used it for their presentations, notations and even briefly as their server.

The warry war warder:
This ring allows you to cast damage reduction spells on all your "allies", but it can't distinguish foe from friend, so everyone gets damage reduction.

----------


## Bucky

I'd never turn down such an easy improvement to workplace safety. No more accidental injuries, even for visitors who would be sloppy about consistently wearing their protective equipment.

*Wilderness Scrying Goggles*
These green goggles can be invoked to remotely view a chosen location, but show you what the area would look like in an alternate universe that never had any sort of civilization.

----------


## Dr.Gunsforhands

I really like this! Even assuming we're in D&D and the causes and effects of global warming aren't at issue, it's still a nice addition to a cartographer's tool box.

Wand of Animate Dead: Twice a day, this wand can make a portrait of a dead person play out as a silent 20-second cartoon short, with the subject's activity either scripted by the wielder or rolled at random.

----------


## Smoutwortel

> I really like this! Even assuming we're in D&D and the causes and effects of global warming aren't at issue, it's still a nice addition to a cartographer's tool box.
> 
> Wand of Animate Dead: Twice a day, this wand can make a portrait of a dead person play out as a silent 20-second cartoon short, with the subject's activity either scripted by the wielder or rolled at random.


First it was used as fake proof in a trial to frame a dead person, but now the judges have gotten wiser and it's used for figuring out what historical important people looked like and historical demonstrations to children.

Mage armor torturer. This object allows the wearer to cast mage armor if they wear it, but if worn it will start doing 1 force damage every turn making it hard to concentrate.

----------


## TemporalTravels

> First it was used as fake proof in a trial to frame a dead person, but now the judges have gotten wiser and it's used for figuring out what historical important people looked like and historical demonstrations to children.
> 
> Mage armor torturer. This object allows the wearer to cast mage armor if they wear it, but if worn it will start doing 1 force damage every turn making it hard to concentrate.


Clearly you've never been to Waterdeep. People there pay money for better beatings.

Tankard of Meh: Any liquids placed into this tankard is maintained at a constant 70 F/20 C.

----------


## Bucky

If you circulate water between the tankard and some radiators it's a thermodynamics-defying hyper-efficient air conditioner with a built-in thermostat, always driving the temperature of the room towards a comfortable point no matter whether it's too hot or too cold. 

*Butterball*
This leather sports ball becomes slippery as though under a Grease spell whenever it's held, immediately returning to normal friction when it's dropped or otherwise released.

----------


## Dr.Gunsforhands

- It was invented by a collegiate wizardry student for use by novice soccer players.
- Her professor took note and paid her to build one around a certain other item as a theft deterrent.
- Your next encounter is against a gang of children playing keep away with the macguffin you've been looking for since session 1.

The Scuffinator: This metal chair digs slightly into the surface on which it is placed or dragged, dealing no real structural damage but leaving permanent marks and scratches behind whenever it's moved.

----------


## Smoutwortel

> - It was invented by a collegiate wizardry student for use by novice soccer players.
> - Her professor took note and paid her to build one around a certain other item as a theft deterrent.
> - Your next encounter is against a gang of children playing keep away with the macguffin you've been looking for since session 1.
> 
> The Scuffinator: This metal chair digs slightly into the surface on which it is placed or dragged, dealing no real structural damage but leaving permanent marks and scratches behind whenever it's moved.


Good place to tie prisoners to.

The tear drop collector.
This object will collect a single tear drop if someone cries on it. Nothing more.

----------


## Rogan

> The tear drop collector.
> This object will collect a single tear drop if someone cries on it. Nothing more.


Might be useful for some ritual requiring a tear.

*Write only Memory* 
This magical storage medium can't be read by any means.

----------


## Smoutwortel

> Might be useful for some ritual requiring a tear.
> 
> *Write only Memory* 
> This magical storage medium can't be read by any means.


a. If it can still execute and output the result it's really useful as a less invasive, but more effective Trusted platform module.
b. If it can also not execute or output the result it can still be used to scribble dangerous spells that want to be read and spoken, but can't be destroyed, such as the basic spells the discworld rests on and the book of tempting spells Lucy finds during the dragon ship film.

Fire in the hole;
This is a perpetual fire that always burns at the lowest point. It is currently stuck in the mariana trench.

----------


## Dr.Gunsforhands

Good thing! We wouldn't be able to see down there without it.

Necklace of Dubs: This intelligent necklace has 10 ranks in perform(voice acting). As long as it's worn, its wearer's voice is silenced, and the necklace speaks on their behalf in the one language it knows. It has no innate awareness of the wearer's intended meaning and so will mostly be improvising.

----------


## Smoutwortel

> Good thing! We wouldn't be able to see down there without it.
> 
> Necklace of Dubs: This intelligent necklace has 10 ranks in perform(voice acting). As long as it's worn, its wearer's voice is silenced, and the necklace speaks on their behalf in the one language it knows. It has no innate awareness of the wearer's intended meaning and so will mostly be improvising.


Good for cheating at theatre tests and lie detection methods.

The monocole of darkness:
It's a monocole that leaves an area of magical darkness between the eye of the wearer and itself. Yes this hampers vision, since no light gets to the eye.

----------


## Rogan

> The monocole of darkness:
> It's a monocole that leaves an area of magical darkness between the eye of the wearer and itself. Yes this hampers vision, since no light gets to the eye.


Finally, some stylish eyepatch!

*Potion of thirsts removal*
When the full content of this (1L) bottle is ingested, the recipient won't feel thirsty for at least an hour. It will also greatly reduce the risk of dehydration.

----------


## Dr.Gunsforhands

You can also boil pasta in it.

Hog Wash: This little sponge, in the shape of a pig's face, is perpetually muddy. Spending an action to wring out the sponge underwater with render a 5-foot cube of water cloudy, granting concealment on attacks in or out of the cloud. You can also smear mud on surfaces.

----------


## Smoutwortel

> You can also boil pasta in it.
> 
> Hog Wash: This little sponge, in the shape of a pig's face, is perpetually muddy. Spending an action to wring out the sponge underwater with render a 5-foot cube of water cloudy, granting concealment on attacks in or out of the cloud. You can also smear mud on surfaces.


Ninja smoke bomb.

seat belt of reclessness this seat belt makes the wearer reckless.

----------


## bug_sniper

While you drive your rideshare passengers, give them the investment opportunity of a lifetime. It involves buying some of your overpriced securities and finding someone who will pay even more for them. Just make sure there's a cop checking everyone's seat belts before getting started.

Spell of Reverse Gravy, 1st level Transmutation spell, V, S, M*, Casting time: 1 Action, Range: 100 Feet, Duration: Concentration up to 1 minute

This spell reverses gravy in a 50-foot-radius, 100-foot high cylinder centered on a point within range. All gravy that isn't somehow anchored to the ground in the area fall upward and reach the top of the area when you cast this spell. If some solid object (such as a ceiling) is encountered in this fall, falling gravy strikes it just as it would during a normal downward fall. If the gravy reaches the top of the area without striking anything, it remains there, oscillating slightly, for the duration. At the end of the duration, affected gravy falls back down.

*A gravy pitcher

----------


## Smoutwortel

> While you drive your rideshare passengers, give them the investment opportunity of a lifetime. It involves buying some of your overpriced securities and finding someone who will pay even more for them. Just make sure there's a cop checking everyone's seat belts before getting started.
> 
> Spell of Reverse Gravy, 1st level Transmutation spell, V, S, M*, Casting time: 1 Action, Range: 100 Feet, Duration: Concentration up to 1 minute
> 
> This spell reverses gravy in a 50-foot-radius, 100-foot high cylinder centered on a point within range. All gravy that isn't somehow anchored to the ground in the area fall upward and reach the top of the area when you cast this spell. If some solid object (such as a ceiling) is encountered in this fall, falling gravy strikes it just as it would during a normal downward fall. If the gravy reaches the top of the area without striking anything, it remains there, oscillating slightly, for the duration. At the end of the duration, affected gravy falls back down.
> 
> *A gravy pitcher


Cheap instant trap.

----------


## Dr.Gunsforhands

It's a cleaning tool for Thanksgiving. Lifts the stuff right out of the carpet!

Candy Respenser: This roughly pen-sized rod has a slot in one end. If a small cube of sugar is inserted into the slot, it ceases to exist. Anything else inserted is unharmed and just kind of sits in there.

----------


## Bucky

It's a good way to test the purity of your sugar, from measuring the residue left behind after the cube disappears.

This stone talisman, when hung from a bridge by a rope, will ward away dolphins from touching any part of the bridge.

----------


## DisavowedPaladi

> It's a good way to test the purity of your sugar, from measuring the residue left behind after the cube disappears.
> 
> This stone talisman, when hung from a bridge by a rope, will ward away dolphins from touching any part of the bridge.


Useful for preventing accidental collisions between local marine life and your bridge. Especially if you get a version that does whales too and you could seriously reduce injuries to wildlife.


Disposable Minions.
Unlike regular minions, these faceless grunts can be easily disabled by any sort of moisture. However, they are at least cheaper than washable minions.

----------


## Smoutwortel

> Useful for preventing accidental collisions between local marine life and your bridge. Especially if you get a version that does whales too and you could seriously reduce injuries to wildlife.
> 
> 
> Disposable Minions.
> Unlike regular minions, these faceless grunts can be easily disabled by any sort of moisture. However, they are at least cheaper than washable minions.


Those minions made the construction of my volcano and moon base so much cheaper and now I got them guarding my pyramid with mystical artifacts. 5 stars.

Pure evil: this substance is extracted from the slavers of the underworld and when exposed to the material planes it forms very sturdy bubbles, also it's bad for paladins and celestial beings, because it's pure evil.
It can't enter the celestial planes and in the lower planes it flows like a normal liquid.
On the elemental planes it sink to the lower planes.

----------


## bug_sniper

If you're a dark general, you can imbue people and creatures with it to build an evil army. If you're good, you can use them to test your justice vision and purification magic. If you're neutral, you can combine it with bubbles of pure good so that the conflict and annihilation will serve as an energy source.

Wand of Confucianism: When you zap people with it, they recite Chinese proverbs.

----------


## Bucky

It prevents the verbal components of your enemy's spells, without granting them the stealth benefits of a Silence spell.

Whistle of Summon Imps
The first time this whistle is blown each day, it summons 1d4+2 Imps around the wielder. The summoned imps are compelled to attack whoever blew the whistle, vanishing after he dies or after five minutes.

*Spoiler*
Show

They're made of evil, so the whistleblower retaliation is expected.

----------


## Smoutwortel

> Good for coordinating the party in darkness. Alternatively, the city might use a non-removable variant to track important prisoners.
> 
> *Ring of Spirit Calling*
> This simple iron band, when worn, causes the wearer to undergo vivid audio hallucinations when in the presence of alcohol. The hallucinations take the form of voices speaking the wearer's native language, engaging in various forms of small talk. The voices are not sentient and do not respond to any speech on the wearer's part.


Good for detecting hidden and smuggled alcohol(in the presence doesn't require drinking it) and scaring people.

*Promise of the bearer*
This coat will fill your head with any promise you make on it forever until you switch the promise so it will fill your head with that promise.

----------


## Gold Leaf

> Good for detecting hidden and smuggled alcohol(in the presence doesn't require drinking it) and scaring people.
> 
> *Promise of the bearer*
> This coat will fill your head with any promise you make on it forever until you switch the promise so it will fill your head with that promise.


Great for forgetful people such as myself - just promise to do that thing you were supposed to do, and you'll have no choice but to remember it!

_Three-Rune Blade_ - This wooden baseball bat has a permanent visual illusion cast on it which causes it to appear as an ornate silver sword.

----------


## Smoutwortel

> Great for forgetful people such as myself - just promise to do that thing you were supposed to do, and you'll have no choice but to remember it!
> 
> _Three-Rune Blade_ - This wooden baseball bat has a permanent visual illusion cast on it which causes it to appear as an ornate silver sword.


Great for tricking enemies in thinking you deal a different kind of damage.
bludgeoning damage instead of positive and slashing.

The cloack of sand. 
Wear this cloack and you will always know the location of the nearest sand.

----------


## Rogan

> The cloack of sand. 
> Wear this cloack and you will always know the location of the nearest sand.


Use it while diving and you will always know down.

*Red cloak*
This cloak will always have a brilliant crimson color and can't be strained in any way. On the other hand, it might attract blue clad paladins. It has no other powers at all.

----------


## Dr.Gunsforhands

Ooh, that'll be perfect for my date with a paladin later. We're going to a sauce-heavy pasta place.

*Super Money Haver:* This simple board game challenges each of its players to place all of the money they have on them onto the board, where it is counted automatically. Whoever had the most money wins.

----------


## Bucky

Since it won't count fake money, it's a bulk counterfeit detector.

*Whistle of Summon Imps
*The first time this whistle is blown each day, it summons 1d4+2 Imps around the whistler. The summoned imps are compelled to attack whoever blew the whistle, vanishing after he dies or after five minutes.

----------


## Rogan

> *Whistle of Summon Imps
> *The first time this whistle is blown each day, it summons 1d4+2 Imps around the whistler. The summoned imps are compelled to attack whoever blew the whistle, vanishing after he dies or after five minutes.


Perfect as a dangerous exam for any kind of survival camp.

*Weight of Lifting*
This training weight is always about 10% too heavy for you to use consistently.

----------


## Gold Leaf

> Perfect as a dangerous exam for any kind of survival camp.
> 
> *Weight of Lifting*
> This training weight is always about 10% too heavy for you to use consistently.


Gift it to the strongest creature you can find so it becomes his and thus too heavy for _him_ to use consistently. Now, you have an extremely heavy whilst still portable object that you can use for numerous practical applications like weighing down a picnic blanket during a hurricane, or dropping on a dragon's foot for comedic effect.

*Escape Goat* - This goat will follow you around, but will make a break for it as soon as even the smallest threat is present, only returning when you are completely clear of the danger. It's always carrying on its back a satchel full of smoke bombs that you cannot remove, and it won't hesitate to detonate one to obscure the path it took to run away, so as to prevent you from following it.

----------


## Dr.Gunsforhands

A pet that won't die in combat? That's like a dream come true for some players! Combine that with the way a dungeon master could have it carry a key you need and we have a real winner on our hands.

Clipozeen: This magic quiver can hold 50 of any type of ammunition. Retrieving one piece of ammo from it is a standard action rather than the usual free action.

----------


## animorte

_Lets get high-brow_



> Clipozeen: This magic quiver can hold 50 of any type of ammunition. Retrieving one piece of ammo from it is a standard action rather than the usual free action.


Staring down the opponent, you reach your hand into the Clipozeen. He looks on in confusion as you wield no ranged weapon of any sort: no bow, no crossbow, no slingshot, no gun, nothing of the sort just a spoon, a scoop, a ladle? He takes a step forward to challenge your obvious bluff
Your hand slowly draws out the utensil, and behold, the air around you becomes thick with the most putrid smell. You just stand there holding the fecal matter in your ladle. His eyes become wide in horror at the realization.


Clap-On Light Shirt: Whenever a spell is cast within 30 feet of you, this shirt reveals your location, sending bright light in a 5 foot radius and dim light 5 feet beyond that until the end of your next turn.
New spells restart the duration. Wearing something over the shirt doesnt diminish this reaction. This effect is only active while being worn by a humanoid.

----------


## Rogan

> Clap-On Light Shirt: Whenever a spell is cast within 30 feet of you, this shirt reveals your location, sending bright light in a 5 foot radius and dim light 5 feet beyond that until the end of your next turn.
> New spells restart the duration. Wearing something over the shirt doesnt diminish this reaction. This effect is only active while being worn by a humanoid.


Integrate this into the uniform of your city guards so they will know if someone tried to charm them or similar. They don't need to be stealthy, they are meant to be seen and respected.

*Mirror of Hindsight*
When you look into this mirror, you will see your last big mistake which can't be changed anymore. If you still could fix your mistake, it will be skipped and shown later.

----------


## Bucky

It's good for teasing out the human factors during a root cause analysis. Used promptly after the incident, it reveals which mistakes were major (seen in the mirror) and which didn't matter to the final result (glossed over in favor of other mistakes).


*Ancient Translation Stone*
When the holder of this stone speaks in either of two specific dead languages, the stone will repeat the message in the other.

----------


## Dr.Gunsforhands

If you've already taken the years of study to learn one, being quickly able to translate the other seems like a huge boon, especially if you're short on writing samples to go on. The mere existence of this artifact implies that these civilizations interacted at some point.

Anti-invisibility Gun: This handgun will only fire if pointed at an invisible target of which you are aware.

----------


## DaedalusMkV

> Anti-invisibility Gun: This handgun will only fire if pointed at an invisible target of which you are aware.


You only need to be aware of it, not know its precise position/be able to see it. See someone go invisible? Pull out the gun and sweep the room while pulling the trigger as fast as you can. Guaranteed to hit since it will only fire if aimed correctly, and will probably do wonders with pinpointing the specific position of the invisible creature thanks to bloodspray and what have you. Niche, but does exactly what it says it does: counter invisibility.

Anti-invisibility Ring: This magical ring turns itself visible in response to being rendered invisible. If worn by an invisible creature it immediately falls off, turning briefly insubstantial to foil any attempt at retaining it. The ring can never be picked up or moved by an invisible creature, even unintentionally, but otherwise behaves as a normal ring.

----------


## ziproot

> Anti-invisibility Ring: This magical ring turns itself visible in response to being rendered invisible. If worn by an invisible creature it immediately falls off, turning briefly insubstantial to foil any attempt at retaining it. The ring can never be picked up or moved by an invisible creature, even unintentionally, but otherwise behaves as a normal ring.


Use it as a key to enter a secured area to prevent bypassing security cameras through invisibility.

Scroll of Tautologies: When you read this scroll, it tells you a random tautology that you already know. It can only be used once.

----------


## Rogan

> Scroll of Tautologies: When you read this scroll, it tells you a random tautology that you already know. It can only be used once.


A one time true random number generator (assuming you took the time to write down and number every tautology you knew).

*Arrow of playing* 
This arrow resembles an arrow of slaying (random creature type, determined at creation / acquisition of the arrow) and can only be correctly identified with a DC 30 knowledge (arcana) roll. When used against the correct creature type, it compels the target to play catch with the user of the bow for 6d6 minutes. It has no intention to harm anyone during this time, but might still do so on accident. Any attack dealing at least one point of lethal damage will break the compulsion.

----------


## Dr.Gunsforhands

I respect your strategy of posting a fun item even though it turned out obviously useful. It's like a scroll of Charm Monster, but more reliable since it uses your own attack roll instead of the usual super-low save DC. Sure, it's situational and the extra hoop to identify it is a pain, but you need to max out your Arcana skill to identify items reliably anyway.

*Scroll of Truth:*
This scroll says, "When we say an item determines something randomly, it's really shorthand for pseudo-randomly, since for practical purposes our items will ultimately rely on random tables and available number generation schemes under the hood."

----------


## Bucky

We post that scroll over the casino door. It's a required disclaimer.

Loadstone 
This rock weighs about one pound for most purposes, but actively resists being intentionally carried and thus counts as weighing 50 pounds for determining encumbrance.

----------


## Rogan

> Loadstone 
> This rock weighs about one pound for most purposes, but actively resists being intentionally carried and thus counts as weighing 50 pounds for determining encumbrance.


Add one of these to your baggage. Now any thief trying to steal it will have a much harder time to do so. And even if he takes a look into the bag, he probably won't be able to figure out which item is so heavy.

*Implosive Runes*
This stone tablet carries some strange inscriptions. When anybody tries to read them, the tablet will collapse into itself.

----------


## enq

> *Implosive Runes*
> This stone tablet carries some strange inscriptions. When anybody tries to read them, the tablet will collapse into itself.


High DC Bluff check for illiteracy.

Edit: Okay, _strange inscriptions_, so let's make it a cover for pitfall trap.

*Tome of Turning and Tampering*
A book in which anything written will be shown as upside down to every reader, no matter how you turn it.

----------


## Smoutwortel

> High DC Bluff check for illiteracy.
> 
> Edit: Okay, _strange inscriptions_, so let's make it a cover for pitfall trap.
> 
> *Tome of Turning and Tampering*
> A book in which anything written will be shown as upside down to every reader, no matter how you turn it.


good book for people who want learn to read upside down and successful code book for people who can already read upside down.

The picture of desire:
This mirror shows a desire from a random non-specified person.

----------


## Bucky

Now we can do marketing surveys without bothering people!

Demanding Vase
The inscription on this vase changes every week to demand a new item. There's no obvious pattern to the demands, except that they're all of non-trivial value and can all fit into the vase. When an object matching the demand is inserted, the vase whisks it away to some unknown plane and the inscription changes to "Tribute Accepted" until next week. 

There is no consequence of not meeting the demand.

----------


## Gold Leaf

> Now we can do marketing surveys without bothering people!
> 
> Demanding Vase
> The inscription on this vase changes every week to demand a new item. There's no obvious pattern to the demands, except that they're all of non-trivial value and can all fit into the vase. When an object matching the demand is inserted, the vase whisks it away to some unknown plane and the inscription changes to "Tribute Accepted" until next week. 
> 
> There is no consequence of not meeting the demand.


We use it to help people who hoard trinkets finally declutter their homes.

*Holy Water Bottle* - Water stored inside this plastic bottle becomes holy water. If the bottle is poured out, broken, or if any water otherwise leaves the bottle, said water immediately loses its holy property and becomes normal water again.

----------


## Rogan

> *Holy Water Bottle* - Water stored inside this plastic bottle becomes holy water. If the bottle is poured out, broken, or if any water otherwise leaves the bottle, said water immediately loses its holy property and becomes normal water again.


Use a bunch of them to prevent incorporal creatures from entering certain areas.

*Invisible Book of Invisibility* 
 This magic book explains the theory and practical aspects of invisibility. It's totally invisible as well, to give some demonstration

----------


## Smoutwortel

> Use a bunch of them to prevent incorporal creatures from entering certain areas.
> 
> *Invisible Book of Invisibility* 
>  This magic book explains the theory and practical aspects of invisibility. It's totally invisible as well, to give some demonstration


Practice book for children with natural true sight.

B-bomb:
If this bomb goes off it makes the sound "brick" nothing more.

----------


## Persolus

> *B-bomb*:
> If this bomb goes off it makes the sound "brick" nothing more.


Psychic detector for use in initiation into a high-security organisation  if they aren't panicking when you hand them a bomb, they most likely a) can read your mind or b) can tell the future. 

*Cap of Catastrophe*
While wearing this hat, all apostrophes you write or type are replaced with tiny pictures of cats.

----------


## Rogan

> *Cap of Catastrophe*
> While wearing this hat, all apostrophes you write or type are replaced with tiny pictures of cats.


Girls think that's soooooooo cute!

* The royal crown* 
This crown used to belong to the Queen (of *insert fantasy realm here*). It's magic will keep it clean under all circumstances. Unfortunately, it will kill everyone who tries to wear it except an offspring of its original owner. The Queen died without an heir.

----------


## Ironsmith

The current Queen (no relation) uses it as a form of execution. Specifically, she reserves it for people found guilty of treason, for the added irony.

*Flask of the Mayfly*

After ingesting this poison, once per day for the rest of the drinker's life, their Intelligence increases, and their Constitution decreases, by 1d4 points.

----------


## Dr.Gunsforhands

Ah, the time-tested, "First Half of Flowers for Algernon and Then the Guy Just Drops Dead," mechanic. Assuming that you can't just heal the constitution drain, or overwrite it with polymorph spells, or other such theoretical-optimization-style cheats... well, actually no, there's no stopping the cheats, is there? Even if there's no cure or antidote, you can enjoy your rising intellect until your constitution is 4 or less and then let a vampire finish you off.

Ball of Moths:
This light, fluffy, powdery device comes in a confusingly-labeled jar. When the ball is left out in the open for an hour, it transforms into a swarm of moths that descends upon cloth items within the range of its normal moth senses and devours them indiscriminately like a rust monster. It remains active for precisely 70 minutes before vanishing without a trace.

----------


## Persolus

Favoured method of a theatre troupe for ... inconveniencing rivals. When they're feeling nice, they put it in the changing room. When they're not, they hide it on stage at the beginning of a performance.

*Mask of Animal Fiendship*
So the artificer kinda goofed on this one - instead of making animals like you, this causes any animal larger than an ant that remains within 5 ft of you for a minute to be possessed by a random Devil, Demon or other inhabitant of the Lower Planes.

----------


## Ironsmith

With the right binding magics, this is a terrifyingly effective way for an aspiring warlock to build up an army.

*Sword of Souls*

This +2 Longsword is made from an unlikely material: souls. Intangible, uncooperative souls. It doesn't even intersect with the ethereal plane like a _ghost touch_ weapon might; it just sits there, made of souls.

----------


## Dr.Gunsforhands

It's mainly a form of eternal punishment for the souls, right? We're not interested in that +2 so much as whoever the BBEG killed and soul-trapped to make the sword in the first place. They probably have information we can use, if we can find a way to free or talk to them.

Memory Stone:
When a person attunes to this gemstone, they lose all memory of their past and identity. When they un-attune from the stone or the stone is destroyed, these memories are restored, but all memory of events while attuned to it are lost forever.

----------


## enq

> Memory Stone:
> When a person attunes to this gemstone, they lose all memory of their past and identity. When they un-attune from the stone or the stone is destroyed, these memories are restored, but all memory of events while attuned to it are lost forever.


Use before something traumatic like amputation. Un-attune when pain is bearable.

*Sling of Squalls*
Any projectile launched turns into air, but the force is preserved.

----------


## Bucky

> Use before something traumatic like amputation. Un-attune when pain is bearable.
> 
> *Sling of Squalls*
> Any projectile launched turns into air, but the force is preserved.


Garbage disposal? Yes, a garbage disposal device with built-in air freshener.

*Speedrunner's Shoes*
These shoes let your backwards running start at its normal speed but accelerate at 5% per turn (6 seconds) to arbitrarily high speeds. Looking where you're going cancels the effect with, at high speeds, predictably messy results. Also, be careful not to outrun the curvature of the Earth.

----------


## Smoutwortel

> Garbage disposal? Yes, a garbage disposal device with built-in air freshener.
> 
> *Speedrunner's Shoes*
> These shoes let your backwards running start at its normal speed but accelerate at 5% per turn (6 seconds) to arbitrarily high speeds. Looking where you're going cancels the effect with, at high speeds, predictably messy results. Also, be careful not to outrun the curvature of the Earth.


These shoes turn a high constitution score in high speed. That's incredible. The bigger and stronger you're the more you have to move and thus the harder it's to run, also this effect is not that dangerous for slow creatures, since it's based on division.

Book of binding:
This book straps itself to whoever opens it and can only be removed by someone else than the one who opened it.

----------


## Rogan

> Book of binding:
> This book straps itself to whoever opens it and can only be removed by someone else than the one who opened it.


Use a pair of those books to teach the value of cooperation (and the risk of treachery) to any two persons. 

* Scroll of Throughestrike * 
When the magic of this scroll is released, it will strike through the instructions for its own usage. Nothing more, nothing less.

----------


## paddyfool

If you can separate the instructions from the scroll itself, then activating the scroll can be used as a one off long distance pre-arranged message to the person holding the instructions, e.g. Theyve found me out - run!

*Mobile bone*

This is a small carved bone rectangle in the shape of a mobile phone that its creator saw in a vision of another world. It periodically causes will checks on the part of its carrier not to take it out and look at it.

----------


## animorte

> *Mobile bone*
> 
> This is a small carved bone rectangle in the shape of a mobile phone that its creator saw in a vision of another world. It periodically causes will checks on the part of its carrier not to take it out and look at it.


Haha, I appreciate this.

Slip it into somebodys pocket that you intend to distract in the near future.

*Smellody*
Whenever someone gets a smell of this small nose shaped trinket, they have the last song they heard stuck in their head for 24 hours.

----------


## Rogan

> *Smellody*
> Whenever someone gets a smell of this small nose shaped trinket, they have the last song they heard stuck in their head for 24 hours.


A very simple torture device. Just play some horrible song once and let them smell the smellody. 

*Boots of Weed*
These boots will create a small patch of weed after 1d10 * 10 steps.

----------


## Smoutwortel

> A very simple torture device. Just play some horrible song once and let them smell the smellody. 
> 
> *Boots of Weed*
> These boots will create a small patch of weed after 1d10 * 10 steps.


Boots for the environmental conscious hiker(or parents who want to be able to track down their kids in an urban environment) or if the weed is a specific kind: boots for stoners.

Mirror of reflection:
this mirror only reflects reflections.

----------


## animorte

> Mirror of reflection:
> this mirror only reflects reflections.


In the town where they hunt down vampires (somewhere next to Salem probably) the head of security has one of these. When they havent met their quota and the town starts getting too comfortable, theyll observe some suspicious activity and subject that person to humiliation by proving to everyone else their lack of reflection _must_ mean its a vampire. Bring your pitchforks and torches!

Mirror mazes, obviously!

*Unignitor:*
This magical stick can start a 5x5 foot fire with 1 action. The stick is then only a stick. The fire gives off no heat and only lights up the space it is in. It lasts 1 hour.

----------


## Rogan

> *Unignitor:*
> This magical stick can start a 5x5 foot fire with 1 action. The stick is then only a stick. The fire gives off no heat and only lights up the space it is in. It lasts 1 hour.


You want to read a book at night, without drawing attention to your presence? That's the light source for you!

* Stone of Throwing =1* 
This magic stone has a +5 to hit, but will only deal one point of nonlethal damage. This can't be improved by any means.

----------


## Starlit Dragon

> * Stone of Throwing =1* 
> This magic stone has a +5 to hit, but will only deal one point of nonlethal damage. This can't be improved by any means.


Perfect for knocking something from  a tree.

A wand that when used, creates a Silent Image of itself.

----------


## Smoutwortel

> Perfect for knocking something from  a tree.
> 
> A wand that when used, creates a Silent Image of itself.


Usefull as pointing device for theoritical lessons on magic school.

The fire of the heart.
Its a candle that burns brighter and hotter when the one holding it holds a passionate talk.

----------


## animorte

> The fire of the heart.
> Its a candle that burns brighter and hotter when the one holding it holds a passionate talk.


Give this to your crush before a conversation to see if they have feelings for you.

*Flight Switch*
These are installed all throughout your house. Each time you turn one on or off, you begin to hover a foot above the floor if you were standing or you drop back to the to the floor if you were floating.

----------


## Bohandas

> *Flight Switch*
> These are installed all throughout your house. Each time you turn one on or off, you begin to hover a foot above the floor if you were standing or you drop back to the to the floor if you were floating.


for reaching stuff on top of shelves

*Darkandle*
a candle that radiates shadow instead of light

----------


## Rogan

> *Darkandle*
> a candle that radiates shadow instead of light


Can help at hiding. 

*Eye of the tiger*
When you wear this amulet, you are compelled to accept the challenge of every rival. You will feel the thrill of the fight when doing so.

----------


## Tom the Mime

It also gives 360 degree vision for 30ft. You know, because he's watching us all with the eye of the tiger. 

Handwritten Arcane Spellbook of Tautology.
If you are attuned to it, whenever you cast a spell from this spellbook, it writes down "You have cast a spell from this spellbook". This writing disappears after the attuned owner takes a long rest.

----------


## Bucky

It helps wizards who are suffering from dementia keep track of which spell slots they've already used today.

*Great Wheel*
This cargo vehicle is in the shape of a giant wheel. There are four cargo bins attached to the wheel's inner rim, capacity approx. 1.5 tons each, and it's powered by mana channeled by a driver sitting atop the wheel up to a top speed of about 25 miles per hour.

----------


## Smoutwortel

> It helps wizards who are suffering from dementia keep track of which spell slots they've already used today.
> 
> *Great Wheel*
> This cargo vehicle is in the shape of a giant wheel. There are four cargo bins attached to the wheel's inner rim, capacity approx. 1.5 tons each, and it's powered by mana channeled by a driver sitting atop the wheel up to a top speed of about 25 miles per hour.


Finally a profitable job for wheel sitters(this is a real sport and very prone to damaging bones).
Can also be used with multiple people, a wagon mounted to the middle and a sliding system mounted to the wagon but in front of the weel to catch falling people.

Ring of fire:
this's a ring made of fire. It has no further magical effects except keeping its internal roundish shape intact.

----------


## animorte

> Ring of fire:
> this's a ring made of fire. It has no further magical effects except keeping its internal roundish shape intact.


For jumping through at the circus.

*Screw diver*
This is regular scuba gear, but when you become submerged, you spin really fast.

----------


## Smoutwortel

> For jumping through at the circus.
> 
> *Screw diver*
> This is regular scuba gear, but when you become submerged, you spin really fast.


I propell my VAS(Very amoral ship) with it attach the driver to the screw and go.

*Gun safe* 
This candle will spread all guns in the nearby 10000 meter area uniformly over the globe.

----------


## ChrysalisM

> I propell my VAS(Very amoral ship) with it attach the driver to the screw and go.
> 
> *Gun safe* 
> This candle will spread all guns in the nearby 10000 meter area uniformly over the globe.


In a revolt against a planetary empire, light it in their main armory. ARM THE RABBLE!!! VIVA LE REVOLUCION!!!!!

a ring of amoeba summoning.

This ring can summon microscopic organisms.

----------


## Smoutwortel

> In a revolt against a planetary empire, light it in their main armory. ARM THE RABBLE!!! VIVA LE REVOLUCION!!!!!
> 
> a ring of amoeba summoning.
> 
> This ring can summon microscopic organisms.


Effective biological weapon on demand and if they follow your commands also effective for precise operations.

The WOMD:
This weapon doesn't cut, but destroys the mass it hits violating the first law of thermodynamics.

----------


## ziproot

> Effective biological weapon on demand and if they follow your commands also effective for precise operations.
> 
> The WOMD:
> This weapon doesn't cut, but destroys the mass it hits violating the first law of thermodynamics.


Great for getting rid of those pesky indestructible items.

Slot Machine
You must use a spell slot to activate the machine. When activated, you receive a spell slot of equal level.

----------


## HalfTangible

> Great for getting rid of those pesky indestructible items.
> 
> Slot Machine
> You must use a spell slot to activate the machine. When activated, you receive a spell slot of equal level.


Twin a spell to hit one target as well as the slot machine, get free spell.

Shell of Self-Awareness
Put this shell to your ear to hear your own thoughts.

----------


## Smoutwortel

> Twin a spell to hit one target as well as the slot machine, get free spell.
> 
> Shell of Self-Awareness
> Put this shell to your ear to hear your own thoughts.


Used for diagnosing possession.

weapon of uncertainty this weapon has an uniformly distributed chance to hit anyone on their plane of existence with 1d8 damage

----------


## Dr.Gunsforhands

This is another perfect macguffin for an evil villain! Imagine getting your toddler ready for bed only to watch their torso get sliced off by an inexplicable force from halfway around the world. Your pesky paladin nemesis will rather obey you than risk putting a stranger through that.

Anyway, here's a ball of wonder. You throw it on the ground, it breaks into a thousand pieces, then a minute later it reassembles itself as long as the pieces are all within 10 feet of each other.

----------


## ChrysalisM

> Twin a spell to hit one target as well as the slot machine, get free spell.
> 
> Shell of Self-Awareness
> Put this shell to your ear to hear your own thoughts.





> This is another perfect macguffin for an evil villain! Imagine getting your toddler ready for bed only to watch their torso get sliced off by an inexplicable force from halfway around the world. Your pesky paladin nemesis will rather obey you than risk putting a stranger through that.
> 
> Anyway, here's a ball of wonder. You throw it on the ground, it breaks into a thousand pieces, then a minute later it reassembles itself as long as the pieces are all within 10 feet of each other.


Great party trick. Hit with the ladies.

Standard issue blaster from the Imperial Stormtrooper Academy for Marksmanship. It is incapable of hitting what you are aiming at.

----------


## Rogan

> Standard issue blaster from the Imperial Stormtrooper Academy for Marksmanship. It is incapable of hitting what you are aiming at.


Still great for suppressing fire, where you don't aim at all. 

*Invisible Cloak*
The cloak is invisible. The person wearing it not so much.

----------


## bug_sniper

That's the perfect thing for actors portraying characters impervious to cold temperatures such as Red Sonja and Velvet Crowe.

Suitcase of low capacity: A suitcase that would have a volume of 1 cubic meters based on its external dimensions. However, due to a spatial anomaly, it's smaller on the inside. No matter how you arrange and squeeze the objects inside of it, you can only fit 0.5 cubic meters of anything inside it.

----------


## MornShine

> Suitcase of low capacity: A suitcase that would have a volume of 1 cubic  meters based on its external dimensions. However, due to a spatial  anomaly, it's smaller on the inside. No matter how you arrange and  squeeze the objects inside of it, you can only fit 0.5 cubic meters of  anything inside it.


It's far lighter than it looks; impress someone by hefting it.
Also, a cubic meter is a _lot._ Half a cubic meter, also a lot. It's light, moveable furniture, if you fill it with some internal framework.

Steering Wheel: When attached to a steer*, steering the steering wheel allows the steerer to steer the steer.

* a type of male ox or cow

----------


## ChrysalisM

> It's far lighter than it looks; impress someone by hefting it.
> Also, a cubic meter is a _lot._ Half a cubic meter, also a lot. It's light, moveable furniture, if you fill it with some internal framework.
> 
> Steering Wheel: When attached to a steer*, steering the steering wheel allows the steerer to steer the steer.
> 
> * a type of male ox or cow


Great for rodeo bullriding.

Rod of uselessness.

This corroded metal rod is magically useless.

----------


## Rogan

> Rod of uselessness.
> 
> This corroded metal rod is magically useless.


However, it's a great source of rust for some custom alchemical mixtures. 

* Coin of uncertainty*
This coin is enchanted to always land on its edge in perfect balance whenever someone tries you to make a decision by flipping the coin.

----------


## enq

As you await execution, make a last wish that the method be decided by flipping that coin.

*Flower Flute*
Small, non-sentient plants will dance to its tune.

----------


## MornShine

Capoeria is both a dance and a martial art. Figure out how to work a flute into the music, and your flower army can beat the demonic rats!

Alternative: Weeding! Grab the weeds when they dance, and you don't have to dig out the roots.'

*Harmless Hammer
*
This warhammer harmlessly rebounds off of anything it hits.

----------


## Dire Moose

Helpful when selling terrible armor as if it was actually good. See, hitting it with a warhammer wont even put a dent in it!

A Bag of Tricks, except the animals cant be controlled and only attack you.

----------


## Velaryon

You'll be glad you have it next time you finish a session 150 XP from leveling up!


*Ring of Ringing*
This ring lets the wearer use the _ghost sound_ cantrip, but only to make the sound of a ringing telephone.

----------


## Rogan

> *Ring of Ringing*
> This ring lets the wearer use the _ghost sound_ cantrip, but only to make the sound of a ringing telephone.


Still a perfect distraction.

* Shy shirt of shining* 
This shirt will shine a bright light up to 30ft and dim light for triple this distance, but only when nobody (including the wearer) is looking.

----------


## animorte

> * Shy shirt of shining* 
> This shirt will shine a bright light up to 30ft and dim light for triple this distance, but only when nobody (including the wearer) is looking.


You leave it in your house when you go on vacation or any time you go to sleep. To random passersby, it still looks as though the inside of your house is lit and occupied.

*Bag of Holding Hands*
This bag doesnt contain any contents, nor can it hold any new contents. Whenever you put your hand in it, there is only another hand that will only hold your hand.

----------


## ChrysalisM

> You leave it in your house when you go on vacation or any time you go to sleep. To random passersby, it still looks as though the inside of your house is lit and occupied.
> 
> *Bag of Holding Hands*
> This bag doesnt contain any contents, nor can it hold any new contents. Whenever you put your hand in it, there is only another hand that will only hold your hand.


When you feel the world is against you, it can help remind you that you're not alone.


Ring of impudence:

People will always take great offence to whatever the bearer does or says. For example:

"Have a nice day!"

"HOW DARE YOU ORDER ME AROUND!!!"

----------


## Rogan

> Ring of impudence:
> 
> People will always take great offence to whatever the bearer does or says. For example:
> 
> "Have a nice day!"
> 
> "HOW DARE YOU ORDER ME AROUND!!!"


You ever wanted to kill someone in self defense? Wear this ring during a normal conversation, deescalate as much as you can, make sure there's video&audio feedback * and don't forget to remove the ring before the curt* 

*Dancing Weapon* 
This long spear is forcing the user to dance. Pole dance, to be precise, using the shaft of the weapon as the pole.

----------


## MornShine

Now that we can avoid the cumbersome installation, time to take this show on the road!

*Attaché

*The bearer of this slim leather briefcase is attached to it; their right wrist cannot move more than three meters from it.

----------


## TurboGhast

Leave it on a cliff top, and you can go three meters down it without worry of falling.

*Disrobing Robe*

When you finish putting this robe on, it will take itself off you.

----------


## Rogan

> *Disrobing Robe*
> 
> When you finish putting this robe on, it will take itself off you.


You can prank someone with this. Easily.

*Robe of Robbing*

Whenever you gain some money while wearing this robe, it will hurt you and the money will disappear.

----------


## Velaryon

Make your subordinates wear this so they cannot be bribed.


*Molarskates* - This mouth guard has a pair of what looks like small roller skates fitted over the parts that cover the wearer's molars. The mouth guard does not impede the wearer's ability to speak, but if they do start talking then they find it difficult to stop. The Molarskates have no effect on the content of what is said, simply making the wearer keep saying _something_ until they are able to make themselves stop talking.

----------

