# Forum > Gaming > Homebrew Design >  Critters III!  Now also in 5e!

## Bhu

Page List for Thread 1

SILLY CAMPAIGNS
Antbird (Page 6)
Apes of Wrath (Page 43)
Archer Fish (Page 6)
Arctic Fox (Page 6)
Armordillo (Page 2)
Armored Turtle (Page 2)
Atlas Hamster (Page 41)
Awakened Spells (Page 8)
Bafoon (Page 37)
Banana Muffin Swarm (Page 43)
Banana Tree Dryad (Page 25)
Barbearian (Page 1)
Beer Pudding (Page 15)
Bee Holder (Page 42)
Bee Swarm (Page 42)
Beholder Cyclops, Calxos (Page 15)
Beholder Cyclops, Carnivex (Page 7)
Beholder Cyclops, Hypnos (Page 13)
Beholder Cyclops, Impetos (Page 15)
Beholder Cyclops, Magos (Page 6)
Beholder Cyclops, Necros (Page 14)
Beholder Cyclops, Phobos (Page 14)
Beholder Cyclops, Somnos (Page 14)
Beholder Cyclops, Tardos (Page 15)
Beholder, Mutate (Page 15)
Beholder Folk (Page 15)
Bell Golem (Page 2)
Bighorn Sheep (Page 6)
Big Bees (Page 42)
Big Bee Swarm (Page 42)
Big Spookity Kitty (Page 1)
Blowfly (Page 6)
Blunderbore (Page 33)
Booze Golem (Page 2)
Bore (Page 35)
Bugbear (Page 7)
Bullfrog (Page 6)
Cactus Dryad (Page 4)
Cameleon (Page 37)
Carnal Mindflayer (not what you're thinking, Page 3)
Carnal Mindflayer Albiniid (Page 4)
Carnal Mindflayer Beholder (Page 3)
Carnal Mindflayer Bimbo (Page 3)
Carnal Mindflayer Blob (Page 3)
Carnal Mindflayer Brain (Page 3)
Carnal Mindflayer Brute (Page 3)
Carnal Mindflayer Childer (Page 3)
Carnal Mindflayer Childer, Mob (Page 3)
Carnal Mindflayer Cuttleworm (Page 4)
Carnal Mindflayer Egg Sac (Page 3)
Carnal Mindflayer Hexapod (Page 3)
Carnal Mindflayer Medusae (Page 3)
Carnal Mindlayer Nautiloid (Page 3)
Carnal Mindflayer Selachii Page 4)
Carnal Mindflayer Slime (Page 4)
Carnal Mindflayer Twitcher (Page 3)
Carnivorous Jungle Death Penguin Swarm (Page 1)
Cash Cow (Page 6)
Catfish God (Page 29)
Chicken Lord (Page 15)
Crab Spider (Page 6)
Cow Bird (Page 43)
Cryptid PrC (Page 4)
Danubans (Page 44)
Death Gerbil Swarm (Page 1)
Devilish Attorney (Page 7)
Devil Mice Swarm (Page 7)
Dire Ankylosaur (Page 23)
Dire Arapaima (Page 32)
Dire Armadillo (Page 18)
Dire Candiru (Page 33)
Dire Chameleon (Page 18)
Dire Chicken (Page 24)
Dire Cow (Page 38)
Dire Duck (Page 21)
Dire Electric Eel (Page 20)
Dire Elephant (Page 25)
Dire Flamingo (Page 26)
Dire Giraffe (Page 20)
Dire Groundhog (Page 19)
Dire Guinea Pig (Page 20)
Dire Gulper Eel (Page 21)
Dire Hamster (Page 19)
Dire Hare (Page 18)
Dire Ibis (Page 22)
Dire Kangaroo (Page 24)
Dire Keet (Page 25)
Dire Kitty (Page 21)
Dire Komodo Dragon (Page 23)
Dire Lemur (Page 23)
Dire Monkeys (Page 12)
Dire Moose (Page 26)
Dire Muntjac Deer (Page 21)
Dire Naked Mole Rat (Page 18)
Dire Nymph (Page 2)
Dire Okapi/Okapi (Page 21)
Dire Ostrich (Page 21)
Dire Parrot (Page 25)
Dire Penguin (Page 24)
Dire Pigeon (Page 24)
Dire Pika (Page 25)
Dire Pirhana (Page 30)
Dire Pocket Gopher Swarm (Page 20)
Dire Poison Arrow Frog (Page 18)
Dire Porcupine (Page 18)
Dire Rabbit (Page 19)
Dire Rhea (Page 21)
Dire Rock Wallaby (Page 24)
Dire Rust Monster (Page 41)
Dire Shrew (Page 19)
Dire Spitting Cobra (Page 18)
Dire Squirrel (Page 25)
Dire Stingray (Page 30)
Dire Swan (Page 22)
Dire Thingie Template (Page 1)
Dire Toucan (Page 34)
Dire Tree Kangaroo (Page 18)
Dire Turkey (Page 25)
Dire Vampire Squid (Page 21)
Dire Vole (Page 21)
Dire Whitetail Deer (Page 21)
Dragon Millipede (Page 19)
Edible Golem (Page 16)
Electric Yak (Page 2)
Emperor Ralph (Page 40)
Evil Minion
Fairy Shrimp (Page 6)
Faux Beholder (Page 41)
Faux Spider (Page 41)
Figgy Pudding (Page 1)
Fire Beetle (Page 16)
Freed Outsider (Page 16)
Fungal Golem (Page 37)
Funk Ape (Page 4)
Giant Banana Slug (Page 22)
Giant Mosquito (Page 17)
Giant Sea Urchin (Page 21)
Giant Tick (Page 3)
Good Kitty (Page 7)
Gunpowder Golem (Page 2)
Habanero Dryad (Page 4)
Hairbeasts (Page 22)
Half-Illithid, Carnal (Page 13)
Hive Golem (Page 37)
Hulk, Aquamarine (Page 16)
Hulk, Cerise (Page 16)
Hulk, Cerulean (Page 16)
Hulk, Fucshia (Page 17)
Hulk, Green (Page 17)
Hulk, Grey (Page 17)
Hulk, Lavender (Page 16)
Hulk, Magenta (Page 16)
Hulk, Orange (Page 17)
Hulk, Periwinkle (Page 17)
Hulk, Sepia (Page 17)
Hulk, Sienna (Page 16)
Hulk, Teal (Page 16)
Hummingbird Swarm (page 7)
Idiot Box (Page 43)
Landsquid (Page 41)
Larval Otyugh (Page 31)
Lemming Swarm (Page 7)
Liberator Fish (Page 42)
Little Spookity Kitty (Page 1)
Little Spookity Kitty Swarm (Page 1)
Main Lobster (Page 25)
Manakin (Page 38)
Manakin Golem (Page 38)
Marble Golem (Page 2)
Martian Template (Page 8)
Mimic Sheep (Page 43)
Moss Dryad (Page 25)
Mother of All Hummingbirds (Page 1)
Mushroom Dryad (Page 25)
Mysterious Magical Maniacal Miniaturized Moose Swarm (Page 4)
Nerf Golem (Page 39)
Omnicidal Furry(Page 41)
Orc Amazons (Page 12)
Pan-Da (Page 2)
Paralegal Imp (Page 6)
Pegataur (Page 48)
Pet Tentacle Monster (Page 42)
Pirhanakeet Swarm (Page 43)
Poop Golem (Page 14)
Putty Panda (Page 2)
Rainbow Butt Monkey (Page 43)
Ram (Page 35)
Rhinoctopus (Page 40)
Rosebush Dryad (Page 28)
Sage Buzzard (Page 8)
Seaweed Dryad (Page 6)
Shark Bird (Page 42)
Shark Bird Swarm (Page 42)
Smiley Faced Spider (Page 37)
Snow Golem (Page 15)
Speaker (Page 7)
Squig (Page 41)
Stone Crab (Page 6)
Stoner (Page 15)
Superhero Template (Page 1)
Swarm Fish (Page 42)
The Basset Folk (Page 41)
The Guppy Folk (Page 44)
The Noble Platypi (Page 41)
The Perfect Template (Page 40)
Tick Swarm (Page 3)
Titan Budgie (Page 26)
Troll Boar (Page 36)
Unfeeling Brute Template (Page 4)
Voracious Lemming (Page 43)
Vorpal Shrew Swarm (Page 1)
Were Humans (Page 1)
Were Kittens (Page 1)
Were Otters (Page 23)
Whale Golem (Page 2)
Vampire Baby Swarm (Page 3)
Vampiric Vermin (Page 4)
Vorpal Shrew Swarm (Page 1)
Voyeur (Page 7)
Yellow Beholder (Page 2)


HORROR CAMPAIGNS
Alp (Page 33)
Amanga Impisi (Page 5)
Bajang (Page 39)
Beast of Blackwater Moor (Page 21)
Cannibal Template (Page 18)
Corporeal Spirit Template (Page 5)
Demoniac Spirit Template (Page 5)
Demon of the Seas (Page 5)
Devil Beast Template (Page 23)
Dinogloth (Page 36)
Dislacer Drake (Page 12)
Displacer Eel (Page 11)
Displacer Fish Swarm (Page 11)
Displacer Newt (Page 12)
Displacer Wyrm (Page 12)
Drei (Page 40)
Face Eater (Page 18)
Fetid Abomination (Page 40)
Firespitter Template (Page 26)
Ghostly Concubine Template (Page 5)
Ghost Feats (Page 4)
Ghost Squid (Page 8)
Ghost Squidling Swarm (Page 8)
Giant Tarantula (Page 37)
Half Ghost Template (Page 5)
Juggernaut Template (Page 23)
Jungle Ghost (Page 18)
Jungle Ghost Mob (Page 18)
Legendary Ghost Template (Page 4)
Legendary Shade Template (Page 4)
Legendary Spectre Template (Page 4)
Legendary Wraith Template (Page 5)
Mansect Template (Page 8)
Pale Shark (Page 42)
Primordial Ghost Template (Page 5, in progress)
Ptera-Gloth (Page 36)
Rot Elemental (Page 19)
Scorpionfly Swarm (Page 17)
Spectral Ape (Page 6)
Spectral Dire Ape (Page 6)
Spectral Swarm (Page 5)
Spectral Vermin Template (Page 5)
Spirit Bird (Page 42)
The Blighted (Page 19)
The Burning Dead Template (Page 38)
The Corrupt Template (Page 8)
The Darkness of Old Night (Page 7)
The Fly People (Page 17)
The Gray Company Template (Page 5)
Tiger Spirit of the Sundarbans (Page 24)
Vampire Squid (Page 5)


BIGGIE SIZE
BIG Sasquatch (Page 31)
Gak, Space Chicken (Page 24)
Greater Kaiju (Page 34)
Kaiju (Page 33)
King Kong (Page 5)
Lesser Kaiju (Page 26)
Revised Kaiju Template (Page 5)
The Black Eye (Page 8)
The Dire Goldfish (Page 3)

ATMOSPHERIC CRITTERS
Black Floater (Page 3)
Cloud Kraken (Page 3)
Floater Ghost (Page 3)
Floating Reef (Page 3)
Sky Trap (Page 3)
Suncatcher (Page 3)
Violet Floater (Page 3)


MYTHOLOGICAL

Adlet (Page 20)
Adze (and Witch Template, Page 31)
Ahkiyyinni (Page 20)
Algul (Page 30)
Aswang (page 37)
Bajang (Page 39)
Baobhan Sith (Page 40)
Baykok (Page 21)
Beaver Women (Page 8)
Bebarlang (Page 41)
Bibi (Page 42)
Big Owl (Page 21)
Brahmaparusha (Page 22)
Bruxsa (Page 43)
Buggane (Page 30)
Cannibal Baby (Page 8)
Chenoo (Page 8)
Deer Woman (Page 12)
Ethiopian Bulls (Page 20)
Empusa (Page 19)
Euryale (Page 29)
Gayal (Page 22)
Gougou (Page 8)
Krampus (Page 29)
Kushtaka (Page 23)
Medusa (Page 30)
Mmbyu (Page 22)
Pacu Pati (Page 22)
Pugwis (Page 21)
Rakshasa (Page 22 and 23)
Serpentoid Template (Page 8)
Stheno (Page 28)
The Bouda Tribe (Page 19)
The Ghost Wrestler (Page 20)
The Serpent Woman (Page 8)
The Terichik (Page 25)
The Worm Men (Page 8)
Tympanios (Page 22)
Vetala (Page 21)
Wolpertinger (Page 27)

CRYPTIDS
Ahool (Page 30)
Altamaha-Ha (Page 20)
Atmospheric Beast (Page 21)
Batsquatch (Page 31)
Beast of Busco (Page 24)
Bigfoot (Star People)(Page 31)
Bigfoot, Wise Ones (Star People)(Page31)
Buru (Page 24)
Bigfoot, Cinematic (Page 22)
Cattle Mutilator (Page 21)
Canvey Island Monster (Page 24)
Con Rit (Page 26)
Dunak (Page 26)
El Chupacabra (Page 26 and 27)
Emela-ntouka (Page 30)
Fear Liath Mor (Page 27)
Flatwoods Monster (Page 30)
Gazeka (Page 25)
Generic Lake Monster (Page 30)
Guariba-boia/Howler Monkey Snake (Page 30)
Jersey Devil (Page 30)
Kalanoro (Page 29)
Lake Flatwoods Monster (Page 30)
Lukwata (Page 30)
Mahambo (Page 20)
Mamlambo (Page 30)
Minhocao (Page 24)
Mokole-Mbembe (Page 30)
Mountain Boomer (Page 25)
Mulilo (Page 27)
Nessie (Giant Eel/Seal/Worm, Page 30)
Sucuriju Gigante (Page 20)
Tatzelwurm (Page 27)
Tzuchinoko (Page 30)
Umdhlebi (Page 24)
Veo (Page 26)

REQUESTS
Abeil Queen, Debarta (Page 27)
Abeil Queen, Gaborah (Page 28)
Abeil Soldier, Debarta (Page 27)
Abeil Soldier, Gaborah (Page 28)
Abeil Vassal, Debarta (Page 27)
Abeil Vassal, Gaborah (Page 28)
Atomic Golem (Page 14)
Banana Muffin Swarm (Page 43)
Beer Lurker (Page 34)
Biggie Sized Leech (Page 48)
Blunderbore (Page 33)
Capsichum (Page 32)
Culvert Fiend (Page 33)
Cyclopean DreadGuard (Page 37)
Darwin Monkey (Page 39)
Dinosaur Satan (Page 23)
Elder Terror (Page 48)
Gorr (Page 48)
Hodag (Page 40)
Kirby (Page 23)
Larval Otyugh (Page 31)
Leechmen (Page 32)
Mad Turtle Swarm (Page 43)
Needleshot Gourna
Psychic Parasite (Page 44)
Ptera-Gloth (Page 34)
Rainbow Butt Monkey (Page 43)
Spleenmocker (Page 48)
Spinal Parasite (Page 46)
Sting (Page 47)
The Nether King (Page 45)
The Seasons (Page 44)
They Who Lie in Wait (Page 33)
Vogoi (Page 20)
Wormfish (Page 46)
Xorth Controller (Page 10)
Xorth Crawler (Page 9)
Xorth Detonator (Page 10)
Xorth Destroyer (Page 9)
Xorth Husk (Page 11)
Xorth Kite (Page 11)
Xorth Orb (Page 11)
Xorth Ravager (Page 9)
Xorth Runner (Page 10)
Xorth Soldier (Page 8)

MONSTER CONTEST ENTRIES
Bee-Holder (Page 42)
Bloody Handed Jack (Page 22)
Bubba the Headless Chicken (Page 13)
Edible Golem (Page 16)
False Gods (Page 27)
Kiseichuu Yuurei (Page 39)
Pembunuh (Page 11)
Singers From Outside (Page 11)
The Angel of Death (Page 36)
The Black Mask (Page 12)
The Mother of Teeth (Page 18)
The Resurrection Women (Page 28)
Voracious Lemming (Page 43)

MISCELLANEOUS
Ammonoid Kraken (Page 21)
Black Render (Page 21)
Chiropterid (Page 12)
Cirrate Kraken (Page 21)
Ghost Kraken (Page 21)

CRITTERS BY OTHERS
Dire Raven by Serpentine (Page 49)
Flying Fish by Shrieking Drake (Page 46)
Mountain Tortoise by Serpentine (Page 49)
Time Flies by Zom B (Page 34)

----------


## Bhu

Page List for Thread 2

*Silly Campaigns*
Ally of the Hive (Page 38)
Argentariusloth (Page 32)
Armadillephant (Page 39)
Beaver Folk (Page 25)
Bar-Bees (Page 37)
Bay-Bees (Page 37)
Boo-Bees (Page 37)
Bee-Blooded (Page 37)
Beecanthrope (Page 37)
Bee Creature (Page 37)
Bee-Damned (Page 37)
Bee-Dazzlers (Page 37)
Bee-falo (Page 37)
Bee Goddess (Page 37)
Bee Golem (Page 39)
Bee-Gurl, Adopted (Page 38)
Bee-Gurl, Male Drone (Page 38)
Bee-Gurl, Princess (Page 38)
Bee-Gurl, Queen (Page 38)
Bee-Gurl, Scout (Page 38)
Bee-Gurl, Soldier (Page 38)
Bee-Headed (Page 37)
Beehemoth (Page 36)
Beelemnoid (Page 39)
Beerded Man (Page 39)
Beerly Bee-Loved (Page 37)
Beeserker (Page 39)
Bee-Shadowed (Page 37)
Beest (Page 36)
Beeswax Golem (Page 38)
Bee--t (Page 37)
Beevur (Page 37)
Beewere (Page 37)
Birraloth (Page 31)
Bumblebee (Page 36)
Buzzuzu (Page 37)
Busy Bees (Page 37)
Cam-Bee-On (Page 37)
Carnal Mindflayer, Chibi (Page 48)
Carpenter Bee (Page 36)
Conventusloth (Page 31)
Crow Bee (Page 36)
Cuckoo Bee (Page 36)
Digger Bee (Page 36)
Dire Beaver (Page 38)
Dire Hagfish (Page 39)
Dire Honey Badger (Page 39)
Dire Namaquan Rain Frog (Page 28)
Duckbunnies (Page 39)
Durian Dryad (Page 25)
Epic Skeleton (Page 2)
Epic Zombie (Page 1)
Fur-Bees (Page 37)
Giant Space Hamster (Page 39)
Giant Space Hamster, Moderate Mutations (Page 40)
Giant Space Hamster (Extreme Mutations, Page 40)
Hee-Bee-Jee-Bees (Page 37)
Hero Shrew (Page 32)
Heyve (Page 39)
Hiveless (Page 39)
Honey Bee (Page 36)
Honey Ooze (Page 38)
Hornfaced Bee (Page 36)
Killer Bee (Page 36)
Mason Bee (Page 36)
Miniature Giant Space Hamster (Page 40)
The Mosquito (Page 22)
Mutant Dire Rat (Page 40)
Neo-Animal Template (Page 11, addendum by Flabort on page 12)
Patraloth (Page 30)
Pidgin (Page 32)
Prosedaloth (Page 30)
Phthisic, Carnal (Page 38/48)
Ray-Bees (Page 37)
Scream Queen (Page 38)
Serf (Page 39)
Sweat Bee (Page 36)
Torqueoloth (Page 31)
Turkey (Page 35)
Tyrannohamsterus Rex (Page 40)
Vampire Bait Template (Page 32)
Vulture Bee (Page 36)
Wanna-Bees (Page 37)
Were Flamingo Template (Page 32)
Were Komodo Dragon Template (Page 31)
Were Pink Fairy Armadillo Template (Page 31)
Were Porcupine Template (Page 32)
Were Sea Monkey Template (Page 31)
Were Wombat Template (Page 31)
Wooly Rupert (Page 40)
Zombee (Page 37)

*Horror Campaigns*
Deep One (Page 13)
Ghoul (Page 13)

*Mythological/Cryptids*
Chindi Template (Page 36)
Doppelsauger (Page 11)
Edimmu (Page 15)
Fsti Capcaki (Page 32)
Ghost King Template (work in progress, page 35)
Gui Template (Page 35)
Haakapaizizi (Page 32)
Indacinga (Page 32)
Inupasugjuk (Page 34)
Kiwakhw (Page 33)
Loup Garou (Page 31)
Matlose (Page 32)
Naked Bear (Page 35)
N-dam-keno-wet (Page 35)
Paija (Page 32)
Pskegdemus/Maski-mon-gwe-zo-os (Page 35)
Pukwudgie (Page 35)
Siat (Page 33)
Skatene (Page 33)
Spearfinger (Page 35)
Stoneclad (Page 35)
Stonecoats (Page 34)
Tammatuyuq (Page 33)
Tah-Tah-Kle-Ah (Page 33)
Tei-Pai-Wankas (Page 35)
Tsiatko (Page 32)
Tuttle Bottoms Monster (Page 32)
Zhi Ren (Page 35)

*Other*
Adherer (Page 29)
Agarat/Greater Agarat (Page 37)
Algoid (Page 42)
Al-Jahar (Page 45)
Amiq Rasol (Page 37)
Amphibious Jumping Tiger Shark (Page 39)
Ammut (Page 42)
Ancient Mariner (Page 38)
Angreden (Page 38)
Ankou (Page 38)
Anthropomorphic Vermin Template (Page 34)
Apparition (Page 46)
Astereater (Page 31)
Autognome (Page 40)
Avari (Page 47)
Averx (Page 42)
Awakened Death Tyrant Template (Page 33)
Bainligor (Page 47)
Baku (Page 42)
Barrel Beast (Page 39)
Beast Folk (Page 37)
Bhut (Page 37)
Black Garbug (Page 30)
Black Roach (Page 47)
Blazing Bones (Page 46)
Blindheim (Page 29)
Bloodkiss Template (Page 33)
Bogeyman (Page 47)
Bog Imp (Page 42)
Bog Mummy (Page 47)
Bowler (Page 40)
Braintree (Page 48)
Caldron (Page 43)
Campestri (Page 42)
Carnivorous Flying Squirrel Swarm (Page 40)
Ceratogaulus (Page 39)
Charuntes (Page 37)
Child of Alchemy (Page 47)
Coffer Corpse (Page 38)
Crane (Page 42)
Crone of Chaos (Page 37)
Crypt Servant (Page 35)
Cushin Fungus (Page 41)
Darkhood (Page 38)
Dark Lord (Page 37)
Death Emperor Template (Page 33)
Death Linen (Page 41)
Demos (Page 42)
Dire Ceratogaulus (Page 39)
Dire Wombat (Page 42)
Dirtwraith (Page 42)
Dracul (Page 47)
Dusanu (Page 40)
Eater of Knowledge (Page 48)
Efreeti Noble (Page 44)
Evolved Doomsphere Template (Page 33)
Eye of Chaos (Page 32)
Eye of Death Template (Page 33)
Eye of Despair (Page 33)
Eye of Flame (Page 32)
Eye of Frost (Page 32)
Eye of Shadow (Page 33)
Examiner (Page 31)
Executioner's Hood (Page 41)
Exeriment 142 (Page 48)
Facehugger (Page 35)
False Ghoul (Page 48)
False Vampire (Page 48)
Fiend Knight (Page 42)
Fiendish Orange Wombat (Page 39)
Flail Snail (Page 39)
Flow Fiend (Page 42)
Forest Trapper (Page 40)
Fractal Beholder (Page 23)
Galvan (Page 43)
Garden Imp (Page 42)
Gautiere (Page 43)
Genie, Deceiver (Page 43)
Genie, Guardian (Page 44)
Genie, Slayer (Page 44)
Genie, Warmonger (Page 44)
Ghost Mount (Page 44)
Ghoul Frog (Page 42)
Ghul-Kin Soultaker (Page 38)
Ghul-Kin Witherer (Page 38)
Ghuuna (Page 47)
Giant Botfly (Page 39)
Giant Vampire Frog (Page 40)
Gibbering Viper (Page 47)
Goatmen (Page 44)
Gorbel (Page 31)
Grave Eel (Page 47)
Greater Medusa (Page 29)
Greater Mimic (Page 40)
Greater Sea Hag (Page 37)
Great Ghul (Page 38)
Greelox (Page 44)
Groundsquid (Page 41)
Guardgoyle (Page 44)
Guardian Spirit (Page 44)
Guardian Yugoloth (Page 46)
Haagathga (Page 44)
Hamadryad (Page 42)
Hangman Tree (Page 44)
Harrier (Page 44)
Haunt (Page 37 and page 46)
Hordling (Page 44)
House Hunter (Page 40)
Hurgeon (Page 42)
Hypnos (Page 43)
Incantfer (Page 44)
Ice Mummy (Page 47)
Illithid Zombie (Page 48)
Inheriitor Lich (Page 44)
Inquisitor (Page 44)
Inverted Beholder (Page 26)
IT! (Page 25)
Jaleeda Bird (Page 44)
Ka (Page 37)
Kaluk (Page 45)
Kampfult (Page 45)
Kasharin Template (Page 31)
Kech (Page 45)
Ker (Page 38)
Kercpa (Page 42)
King-Wight (Page 37)
Lensman (Page 31)
Lich, Master (Page 47)
Lich, Psionic (Page 46)
Lightning Zombie (Page 44)
Linqua (Page 46)
Living Hair (Page 42)
Lock Lurker (Page 41)
Loup De Noir (Page 37)
Lutum (Page 46)
Lyrannikin (Page 45)
Mara (Page 44)
Methiaken (Page 48)
Minor Elemental (Page 47)
Mold Men (Page 42)
Narvaezan Fiend (Page 42)
Nightshade (Page 47)
Nymph, Glass (Page 42)
Nymph, Unseelie (Page 42)
Nyraala Golem (Page 48)
Orbus (Page 31)
Palimpsest (Page 41)
Peltast/Greater Peltast (Page 41)
Piercer (Page 41)
Pirate Beholder (Page 23)
Plaguechanged Template (Page 48)
Plaguechaged Elder Brain Template (Page 48)
Poltergeist (Page 46)
Pseudonatural Beholder (Page 33)
Reioi (Page 47)
Reviler (Page 38)
Sacrol (Page 37)
Sandman (Page 46)
Sea Demon (Page 44)
Sea Hermit (Page 29)
Silat (Page 37)
Soulstealer (Page 47)
Space Mimic (Page 40)
Space-Swine (Page 40)
Spider-Horse (Page 41)
Spiritjam (Page 45)
Spooge Beholder (Page 26)
Stench Kow (Page 39)
Stolen Soul (Page 47)
Stunjelly (Page 40)
Sull (Page 42)
Swan (Page 42)
Symbiotic Jelly (Page 44)
Tether Beast (Page 42)
The God of the Black Pyramid (Page 36)
Them (Page 47)
Thorny (Page 42)
Thunder Children (Page 46)
Trapper (Page 40)
Tribute Gatherer (Page 44)
Trickster Beast (Page 40)
Ubermenschen (Page 47)
Umpleby (Page 42)
Undead Mount (Page 42)
Undead Water Monster (Page 47)
Ur-Histachii (Page 47)
Utujju (Page 42)
Vampiric Wolf (Page 37)
Vampyre (Page 25)
Velya (Page 37)
Violet Garbug (Page 30)
Voidsphere Template (Page 33)
Watcher (Page 31)
Watch Ghost (Page 44)
Wolf-in-Sheep's Clothing (Page 40)
Wombat (Page 42)
Wood Imp (Page 42)
Wounded Bird (Page 47)
Wraith-King (Page 38)
Wyche (Page 47)
Yaggol (Page 36)
Yaggol, Brain Golem (Page 26)
Yaggol, Elder Brain (Page 36)
Yaggol, Ulitharid (Page 36)
Xaver (Page 41)
Zorbo (Page 41)
Zygom (Page 43)
Zytra (Page 48)

*Requests*
Absolute Template (Page 27)
Abyssal Elemental (Page 43)
Acrosapien (Page 7)
Akkidae (Page 26)
Arakune (Page 17)
Arakune's Bugs (Page 18)
Baby Jacks (Page 49)
Bearmaid (Page 16)
Beeflings (Page 33)
Beholder, Biclops (Page 14)
Beholder, Fractal (Page 23)
Beholder, Pirate (Page 23)
Black Fig (Page 43)
Briareus (Page 20)
Brood of Orcus (Page 43)
The Brown Man of the River (Page 37)
Caltiki (Page 49)
Chestburster (Page 35)
Cloned Xenomorph (Page 38)
Clloned Xenomorph Queen (Page 38)
Crococerous (Page 4)
Crowwolf (Page 16)
Cyborg Template (Page 26)
Daourkind Template (Page 36)
Deadly Nadder (Page 5)
Derivative Template (Page 28)
Dire Beholder (Page 19)
Dire Butterfly (Page 15)
Dire Crowwolf (Page 16)
Dire Cuttlefish (Page 15)
Dire Dog (Toy Breed, Page 10)
Dire Furries (Page 20)
Dire Owlbear (Page 16)
Eyeball Swarm (Page 19)
Exponential Template (Page 27)
Faux Dryad (Page 43)
Faux Tiefling (Page 43)
Firecat (Page 1)
Fish Bastards (Page 14)
The Flock (Page 34)
Fractional Template (Page 28)
Furries (Page 19)
Gauth Mob (Page 19)
Giant Pistol Shrimp (Page 1)
Giant Starfish, Sunstar (Page 8)
Glen Manning (Page 49)
Goby Minion (Page 5)
Googam, Son of Goom (Page 37)
Gronckle (Page 7)
Grub Servitor (Page 10)
Hamstower (Page 19)
Hideous Zippleback (Page 7)
Hummingator and Hummingator Swarm(Page 3)
Imaginary Template (Page 28)
Jack Frost (Page 49)
Jellybats (Page 10)
Light Puker Template (Page 35)
Llamabird (Page 4)
Lollipop Guardian (Page 19)
Monster From The Id (Page 39)
Monstrous Nightmare (Page 8)
The Mosquito (Page 22)
Neomorph, Adult (Page 49)
Neomorph, Bolodburster (Page 49)
Night Fury (Page 9)
One Eyed One Horned Flying Purple People Eater (Page 1)
Ouroboros (Page 23)
Pattern Bee Swarm (Page 12)
Phooka (Page 49)
Possessed Lollipop (Page 19)
Protomorph (Page 49)
Ramming Roller (Page 12)
Rathtar (Page 48)
Red Panda (Page 19)
Red Super Giant (Page 15)
Revenant, Common (Page 48)
Revenant, Failed (Page 48)
Revenant, Snarlantz (Page 48)
Sacaanti (Page 50)
Sacaanti Abomination (Page 50)
Sauna Bees (Page 12)
Scryxull (Page 50)
Sea Dragon (Page 10)
Slaver Wasp, Swarm (Page 48)
Slaver Wasp, Warrior (Page 48)
Soulless Template (Page 36)
Spiderman (Page 21)
Stone Wolf (Page 49)
Sun Bees (Page 12)
Tainted Nature (Page 43)
Teenage Mutant Ninja Template (Page 35)
Terrible Terrors (Page 6)
Terror Dog (Page 49)
The Other Mother (Page 9)
Tomb Dwarf (Page 49)
The Watchers in the Wall (Page 2)
Tracker Jackers (Page 15)
The Walrus (Page 23)
Turbo-Charged Template (Page 35)
Tymer-haid (Page 50)
Undead Dragoon Slayer (Page 49)
Vampiric Beast (Page 49)
Winchester Template (Page 35)
Wombat of Doom (Page 23)
Xenomorph Drone Template (Page 34)
Xenomorph Queen Template (Page 35)
Xenomorph Soldier (Page 35)
Yak (Page 1)
Zebrocerous (Page 4)
Zombie Pirate (Page 29)


*Illithid PrC's*
Concordant (Page 48)
Infiltrator (Page 48)
Inquisitor (Page 48)
Mastermind (Page 48)
Scourge (Page 48)
Thrall Master (Page 48)
Tormentor (Page 48)
Unseen (Page 48)


*Critters by Others*
Armored Superwhale, Half Gibbering Mouther, Half Pseudodragon and Imaginary Template by Inuyasha (Page 28)
Beagle and Dire Beagle by OblivionBlade (Page 32)
Cute Fluffy Infernal Killer Bunnies of Cuddly Death, Malevolent Homicidal Pineapple and Plastic Trash Mound by King of Nowhere (Page 41)
Dire Hydra by Flabort (Page 17)
Dretch and Half-Unicorn by Inuyasha (Page 29)
Giant Flea by Briian 333 (Page 43)
Half-Choker and Necroling Beholder by Inuyasha (Page 26)
Hyad, Lampad, Napia, Oread and Thamnad by Metastachydium (Page 45)
Pigrat, Raccrow and Skunkking by DhanaRagnarok (Page 45)
Ptenion by Metastachydium (Page 46)
Internet Troll by Debihuman (Page 41)

----------


## Bhu

As mentioned in the previous thread, I will be doing 3.5 and 5e content now.


*Page List for Thread 3*

*5e Conversions of Older Material*  Entries with a * also include revised 3.5 entry (actually scratch that, virtually all of them include a revised 3.5 entry)
Amanga Impisi (Page 7)
Antbird/Antbird Swarm * (Page 1)
Apes of Wrath* (Page 2)
Archer Fish * (Page 1)
Arctic Fox* (Page 1)
Armordillo * (Page 1)Bafoon* (Page 2)
Bafoon* (Page 2)
Bearmaid* (Page 3)
Beast of Blackwater Moors (Page 6)
Beer Pudding * (Page 2)
Bighorn Sheep *(Page 2)
The Black Eye (Page 9)
Black Fly Swarm (Page 7)
Black Render (Page 7)
Blowfly/Blowfly Swarm * (Page 1)
Bore* (Page 2)
Buffalo Chicken* (Page 3)
Bugbear* (Page 2)
Bullfrog* (Page 1)
Burning Dead (Page 8)
Cameleon* (Page 2)
Cash Cow (Page 1)
Catfish God (Page 4)
Cetus Rex* (Page 3)
Chicken Lord (Page 6)
Chiropterid (Page 9)
Corporeal Spirit (Page 7)
Cowbird* (Page 2)
Crab Spider* (Page 1)
Crocerocerous* (Page 3)
Crowolf/Dire Crowolf* (Page 3)
Deel* (Page 3)
Devilfish (Page 6)
Dire Ankylosaur (Page 5)
Dire Arapaima (Page 4)
Dire Armadillo (Page 6)
Dire Beaver (Page 4)
Dire Bunny* (Page 3)
Dire Butterfly (Page 5)
Dire Cachalot Whale (Page 4)
Dire Ceratogaulus (Page 4)
Dire Chameleon* (Page 4)
Dire Chicken* (Page 3)
Dire Cow (Page 3)
Dire Cuttlefish* (Page 4)
Dire Dog* (Page 4)
Dire Duck* (Page 3)
Dire Echidna (Page 5)
Dire Electric Eel (Page 4)
Dire Elephant (Page 4)
Dire Flamingo (Page 5)
Dire Giraffe (Page 5)
Dire Groundhog (Page 4)
Dire Guinea Pig* (Page 3)
Dire Gulper Eel (Page 4)
Dire Hagfish (Page 5)
Dire Hamster* (Page 3)
Dire Hare* (Page 4)
Dire Ibis (Page 5)
Dire Kangaroo (Page 5)
Dire Komodo Dragon (Page 6)
Dire Lemurs* (Page 4)
Dire Monkey (Page 6)
Dire Moose (Page 4)
Dire Muntjac Deer (Page 4)
Dire Naked Mole Rat (Page 4)
Dire Namaquan Rain Frog* (Page 4)
Dire Okapi, Okapi (Page 5)
Dire Ostrich (Page 5)
Dire Owlbear* (Page 3)
Dire Parakeet* (Page 4)
Dire Parrot* (Page 3)
Dire Pelican (Page 5)
Dire Penguin (Page 5)
Dire Pigeon (Page 4)
Dire Pika (Page 4)
Dire Piranha (Page 5)
Dire Platypus (Page 5)
Dire Pocket Gopher Swarm (Page 4)
Dire Poison Arrow Frog (Page 6)
Dire Porcupine (Page 4)
Dire Rhea (Page 5)
Dire Rock Wallaby (Page 5)
Dire Rust Monster (Page 6)
Dire Shrew (Page 4)
Dire Spitting Cobra (Page 6)
Dire Squirrel* (Page 4)
Dire Stingray (Page 5)
Dire Swan* (Page 3)
Dire Tamandua (Page 6)
Dire Toucan (Page 5)
Dire Tree Kangaroo (Page 5)
Dire Turkey* (Page 3)
Dire Vampire Squid (Page 9)
Dire Vole (Page 4)
Dire Whitetail Deer* (Page 4)
Dire Wombat, Wombat (Page 5)
Dragon Millipede (Page 6)
Drei (Page 8)
Face Eater (Page 8)
Fairy Shrimp* (Page 1)
Figgy Pudding* (Page 2)
Fire Beetle* (Page 2)
The Fly People (Page 7)
Funk Ape (Page 8)
Gak, Space Chicken (Page 9
Giant Exploding Ant (Page 6)
Ghost Frog/Ghost Frog Swarm* (Page 2)
Giant Banana Slug (Page 6)
Giant Man O' War (Page 5)
Giant Pistol Shrimp (Page 5)
Giant Polychaete Worm (Page 5)
Giant Tarantula (Page 6)
Giant Urchin (Page 5)
Goby Minion (Page 5)
Hamstower* (Page 2)
Hero Shrew* (Page 2)
Hummingator/Hummingator Swarm* (Page 3)
Jungle Ghost/Jungle Ghost Mob (Page 8)
Kraken, Ammonoid (Page 9)
Kraken, Cirrate (Page 9)
Kraken, Ghost (Page 9)
Leech, Biggie Sized (Page 6)
Lemming Swarm (Page 6)
Llamabird* (Page 3)
Main Lobster* (Page 2)
Mangai (Page 8)
Mimic, Concubine (Page 7)
The Mosquito (Page 6)
Mother of all Hummingbirds (Page 6)
One Eyed One  Horned Flying Purple People Eater (Page 8)
Owl-Honey Badger* (Page 3)
Pack Mouse* (Page 2)
Pale Shark (Page 8)
Pan-Da* (Page 1)
Pidgin* (Page 2)
Piranhakeet Swarm* (Page 3)
Ram* (Page 2)
Rhinoctopus* (Page 3)
Sage Buzzard * (Page 2)
Scorpionfly Swarm (Page 7)
Shark Bird/Shark Bird Flock* (Page 3)
Skunk Cabbage* (Page 3)
Spectral Ape/Dire Ape (Page 7)
Spectral Swarm (Page 7)
Spectral Vermin (Page 7)
Stout Stoat* (Page 2)
Titan Budgie (Page 9)
Trash Gryphons* (Page 3)
Troll Boar* (Page 3)
Turkey* (Page 2)
Vampire Squid (Page 7)
Woly Ettercap (Page 7)
Zebrocerous* (Page 3)

*New Material in 3.5 and 5e*
Centhahx (Page 8)
Combustible Chicken (Page 8)
Diakk, Carcene (Page 1)
Diakk, Varath (Page 1)
Dire Tardigrade (Page 5)
Emu (Page 9)
Emu, Lord (Page 9)
Froggie Minion (Page 6)
Fur Angel (Page 7)
Headless Mule (Page 9)
Fire Succubi (Page )
The Flock (Page 8)
Manananggal (Page 8)
The Martenses (Page 8)
Muck Whale (Page 8)
Noctral (Page 1)
Pale Horee (Page 8)
Penanggalan (Page 8)
Penguin Seal (Page 3)
Perrault's Crow (Page 7)
The Pope Lick Monster (Page 7)
Raccoons of Fire and Fury/3 Raccoons in a People Suit (Page 6)
River Ghost (Page 7)
Spirit Bird (Page 8)
Time Fly/Time Fly Swarm (Page 2)
Vampire Fruit (Page 7)
Vampire Giant (Page 9)
Waraikumo (Page 7)


*5E Versions of earlier edition stuff*
Mooncalf (Page 8)
Tall Mouther (Page 8)

----------


## Bhu

*Cash Cow*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! I'm your host Harlan Jergens, and this is my easily cloned assistant Jim!  Today on Wild Kingdom we'll be taking a look at Bos Aureus, more popularly known as the Cash Cow.  Fairly similar looking to modern cattle, they weigh almost twice as much due to the metallic compounds infusing their bodies.  They're thought to have originated in the land of Rivenburgh, and have since spread throughout the world."

*Centers of Industry*
"Cash Cows are mineral eaters, who can somehow eat raw ore and, er, 'refine' it into pure metals.  Over time most of their organs become a flexible organic metal, and many are stolen for this reason.  Their incredible weight and durable nature make this a difficult task for would be rustlers.  Allow me to demonstrate!"

*Magic Origin*
"Careful Jim!  It's said the Cash Cattle were the brainchild of Prak the Mad, and as we all know his creations can be rather...frisky."

"MOO!"

"Sweet Jebus!"

----------


## Metastachydium

> [img]png[/img]


The image has a 7 both before and after (2d6) under charge; I don't suppose the latter's, well, supposed to be there.




> Bos Aurum


_Bos_ is never neutral and aurum is a noun; it should be _Bos aureus_ or _Bos aurea_ (if it is indeed always a cow, i.e. female).

♣
Oh, and do I remember correctly that you're mostly converting pre-3.5 stuff? If so, is there a chance you'll make a 3.5 update for noctrals and diakka?

----------


## Bhu

> The image has a 7 both before and after (2d6) under charge; I don't suppose the latter's, well, supposed to be there.
> 
> 
> 
> _Bos_ is never neutral and aurum is a noun; it should be _Bos aureus_ or _Bos aurea_ (if it is indeed always a cow, i.e. female).
> 
> ♣
> Oh, and do I remember correctly that you're mostly converting pre-3.5 stuff? If so, is there a chance you'll make a 3.5 update for noctrals and diakka?


I'm new to the program I'm using for the 5e stuff, there may be typos for a bit.

I'll still be doing 3.5 stuff along with conversions of y older material.  It's just that new all newer critters will be in 3.5 and 5e if they don't already have a 5e statblock.  Lemme see if there's stats for the critters you mention and if not I'll do them up.

----------


## Metastachydium

> I'm new to the program I'm using for the 5e stuff, there may be typos for a bit.


Eh, typos happen.




> Lemme see if there's stats for the critters you mention and if not I'll do them up.


Thanks!

----------


## Bhu

*Armordillo*
Small Magical Beast
*Hit Dice:* 2d10+10 (21 hp)
*Initiative:* -2
*Speed:* 20 ft. (4 squares), Burrow 5 ft.
*Armor Class:* 18 (+1 Size, -2 Dex, +9 Natural), touch 9, flat-footed 18
*Base Attack/Grapple:* +2/-2
*Attack:* Nibble +3 melee (1d3)
*Full Attack:* Nibble +3 melee (1d3)
*Space/Reach:* 5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:* -
*Special Qualities:* Dark Vision 60 ft., Invulnerability10/-, Immunities, Hard to Budge, Scent, Fortified
*Saves:* Fort +8, Ref +1, Will +0
*Abilities:* Str 10, Dex 6, Con 20, Int 1, Wis 10, Cha 2
*Skills:* Listen +5, Spot +4
*Feats:* Alertness
*Environment:* Warm Plains
*Organization:* Solitary 
*Challenge Rating:* 2
*Treasure:* None
*Alignment:* Neutral
*Advancement:* 3-4 HD (Small)
*Level Adjustment:* ---

_"Martha...I just broke my sledgehammer on thet critter's head.  Time to call the professionals..."_

The Armordillo appears to be a normal armadillo in all respects except 3:

It is a voracious devourer of vegetable crops.
It is incredibly heavy (200+ pounds) for it's size.
It has no fear.

Whether it was created , or evolved naturally, 10 out of 10 farmers agree the Armordillo has to go.  The problem is how.  The things are damn near invulnerable, so unless they're willing to shell out serious money for help, they're stuck with them.

*Invulnerability (Ex):* Invulnerability is similar to Damage Reduction, but it also blocks damage from energy attacks, spells, spell-like abilities, and supernatural abilities.  For example the Armordillo has Invulnerability 10.  That means it negates the first 10 points of damage from any attack (this includes untyped damage).

*Immunities (Ex):* The Armordillo is immune to Fear or morale based effects. It is also immune to non lethal damage, and cannot be Stunned, Dazed, or Staggered.  

*Fortified (Ex):* If an enemy confirms a critical result on an attack roll the Armordillo has a 50% chance of making it just a normal hit.

*Hard to Budge (Ex):*The Armordillo does not take a Size Penalty when resisting Grapple, Bull Rush, or Trip checks. It also has a +4 Racial Bonus when resisting such checks.

*Combat:* Armordillo's never initiate combat. They go about their business of devouring crops, and sometimes even ignore attackers if they can't manage to do any damage.  The sight of a bunch of villagers breaking their farming tools on the back of a small critter has stunned more than one PC.  Usually just before desperate villagers agree to pay them to remove the things.  They're less of a hazard or wandering monster, and more of a stubborn obstacle.




*Armordillo*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens, and this is my easily frustrated assistant Jim!  Today on Wild Kingdom we'll be taking a look at the Armrdillo, also known as Dasypus loricatus.  Believed to be a descendant or offshoot of the more common 7 Banded Armadillo, how they acquired their incredible armor isn't known.  Thanks to it, they have no natural predators, or at least none willing to put forth the effort that would be needed.  Isn't that right Jim?"

*A Threat To Crops*
"We've been trying to move this thing from Farmer John's fields all day Harlan, and it looks like we're now waiting on a local mage to give us an estimate on how much he'll charge to just Plane Shift the darn thing.  Armordillo's have been one of the greatest threats to crops in Texicas, they are somehow rapidly spreading to other countries despite their limited mobility.  Fortunately, they don't seem very aggressive.  Unless you have food."

*Origin and Purpose Unknown*
"It's strange that they have no known origin Jim.  No Wizard's Guild claims them, and they appear rather suddenly in several distinct areas all at once in the natural records we have available.."

"So y'all gonna git that thing outta mah taters soon?"

----------


## Bhu

*Noctral*
                      Medium Outsider (Good, Lawful, Extrapllanar)
*Hit Dice:*             5d8+10 (32 hp)
*Initiative:*           +3
*Speed:*                10 ft. (2 squares), Fly 90 ft. (Good)
*Armor Class:*          22 (+3 Dex, +9 Natural), touch 13, flat-footed 19
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +5/<+7
*Attack:*               Talon +7 melee (2d4+2)
*Full Attack:*          2 Talons +7 melee (2d4+2) and 1 Bite +2 melee (1d6+1)
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Swoop, Spell-Like Abilities
*Special Qualities:*    See in Darkness, Telepathy 1 Mile., SR 15
*Saves:*                Fort +6, Ref +7, Will +8
*Abilities:*            Str 14, Dex 16, Con 14, Int 18, Wis 18, Cha 18
*Skills:*              Bluff +12, Diplomacy +12, Hide +11, Intimidate +12, Knowledge (any 3) +12, Listen +20, Move Silently +11, Sense Motive +12, Spot +20, Survival +12
*Feats:*              Fly-by Attack, Hover
*Environment:*          Mount Celestia
*Organization:*         Solitary
*Challenge Rating:*     4
*Treasure:*             Standard
*Alignment:*            Lawful Good
*Advancement:*          6-7 HD (Medium), 8-15 HD (Large)
*Level Adjustment:*     ----

"Aren't you a Celestial?  What are you doing at an Evil Minions symposium?"

"Sssshhhh!  I'm undercover."

"No you aren't, you're a giant owl.  Kinda hard to hide."

Noctrals are giant, intelligent birds that stand as tall as a man, with a wingspan of up to 20 feet.  They resemble Screech or Bar Owls with dove gray or black feathers, and golden eyes.  Inhabitants of Mount Celestia, they are often sought as advisers due to the large amounts of knowledge they accumulate.  Many have specialties, such as mathematics, astrology or arcana.  Would be seekers of knowledge should remember that despite their manners and seeming kindliness, the Noctral are still ambush predators that hunt for food.  Harming them is ill-advised, especially since Gods and Celestials number among their friends.

*Swoop (Ex):* If the Noctral makes a Charge attack while flying it gets to make both of it's Talon attacks.  It also doesn't take the -2 Penalty to AC for making a Charge.

*Spell-Like Abilities (Sp):* At Will: Discern Lies, Speak With Animals, Tongues.  3/Day: Invisibility, Legend Lore.  Caster Level is 15th, Save DC is Charisma based.

*See in Darkness (Su):* Noctrals can see perfectly in darkness of any kind, even that created by a deeper darkness spell.

*Skills:* Noctrals gain a +8 Racial Bonus on Listen and Spot Checks.

*Combat:* Noctrals rarely seek combat, often turning invisible and fleeing.  They know what Evil can do if their knowledge gets into it's hands, and will do what is necessary to prevent that happening.  If forced to, they make use of their swoop attack.



*Noctral*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! I'm your host Harlan Jergens, and this is my suddenly nervous assistant Jim!  Today on Wild Kingdom we'll be taking a look at the Giant Celestial Owl."

"We have names Harlan.  We are not merely owls.  We are Noctrals."

*Scholars Of Mount Celestia*
"Noctrals are living repositories of knowledge.  Even the powers that be occasionally consult them, for they know many things."

"For example, we know you are the 75th Jim."

"What's he on about Harlan?"

*They Always Know The Truth*
"Why I have no idea Jim! How dare you cast aspersions on my character sir!""

"We had not mentioned your fault in that matter yet Mr. Jurgens."

----------


## Metastachydium

> *Noctral*


I absolutely _love_ it! Have a big great thank you!
It does not need Hover, since flyers with good maneuverability can hover by default, but otherwise it's perfect!




> *Armordillo*


This is a cute one too. I like it.




> The things are damn near invulnerable, so unless they're willing to shell out serious money for help, they're stuck with them.


_[Malicious grin.]_ Hey, didn't you specifically caution me not to do unkillable harmless little critters?




> Dasymus armatus


Dasymus is an alternate spelling for Dasymys, a genus of swamp rats from Africa; what you're looking for is Dasy_p_us. Also, _armatus_ (as an adjective) means 'armed(/equipped)'; I'd recommend _loricatus_, meaning 'armoured'.

----------


## Bhu

> I absolutely _love_ it! Have a big great thank you!
> 
> 
> _[Malicious grin.]_ Hey, didn't you specifically caution me not to do unkillable harmless little critters?


That's why it has a slow speed and no offense or attitude.  If you can't affect it, it won't attack, and even when it does it's readily escape-able.  They're meat to be more obstacle than fighting opponent.


The Diakk will be up soon, I just need to figure out their dance for the 5e version, or eschew it with a touch.  They were pretty underpowered for Fiends, so I gave them the same resistances all the other critters from their plane has.

----------


## Bhu

*Antbird*
Tiny Magical Beast
*Hit Dice:* 2d10 (11 hp)
*Initiative:* +2
*Speed:* 5 ft. (1 square), Fly 60 ft (Good)
*Armor Class:* 16 (+2 Size, +2 Dex, +2 Natural), touch 14, flat-footed 14 
*Base Attack/Grapple:* +2/-6
*Attack:* Bite +6 melee (1d3+1d3 acid)
*Full Attack:* Bite +6 melee (1d3+1d3 acid)
*Space/Reach:* 2 1/2 ft./0 ft.
*Special Attacks:* Improved Grab
*Special Qualities:* Dark Vision 60 ft., Scent 
*Saves:* Fort +3, Ref +5, Will +1
*Abilities:* Str 10, Dex 15, Con 10, Int 1, Wis 12, Cha 9
*Skills:* Listen +3, Spot +4
*Feats:* Weapon Finesse
*Environment:* Warm Plains, Forest, or Swamp
*Organization:* Solitary or flock (10-1000)
*Challenge Rating:* 1
*Treasure:* None
*Alignment:* Neutral
*Advancement:* 2-3 HD (Small), 4-6 HD (Medium)
*Level Adjustment:* ---

_"Abner...git me mah bird shootin' thingy.  Them freak birds is in the corn agin."_

Antbirds are an unholy mingling of ant and bird created by the same magic process that created owlbears. Unfortunately the magic was just as faulty, and the things wreak havoc when they swarm each year for mating season, eating everything in sight. It is said their creator was creatively murdered at the hands of a mob of farmers.  Which is astonishing if true.

*Improved Grab (Ex):* If the Antbird succeeds in biting an opponent it can make a grapple check as a free action without provoking an attack of opportunity. If it succeeds it does bite damage each round the hold is maintained.

*Combat:* Antbirds usually fly straight at their opponent, latch on, and bite until it dies, or it wounds the Antbird. If there is a swarm they attack en masse, stripping crops, livestock, and even people.


*Antbird Swarm*
Tiny Magical Beast (Swarm)
*Hit Dice:* 12d10 (66 hp)
*Initiative:* +6
*Speed:* 5 ft. (1 square), Fly 60 ft (Good)
*Armor Class:* 19 (+2 Size, +2 Dex, +5 Natural), touch 14, flat-footed 17 
*Base Attack/Grapple:* +12/-
*Attack:* Swarm (3d6+3d6 acid)
*Full Attack:* Swarm (3d6+3d6 acid)
*Space/Reach:* 10 ft./0 ft.
*Special Attacks:* Distraction
*Special Qualities:* Dark Vision 60 ft., Scent, Half damage from slashing and piercing, Swarm traits
*Saves:* Fort +8, Ref +10, Will +5
*Abilities:* Str 10, Dex 15, Con 10, Int 1, Wis 12, Cha 9
*Skills:* Listen +8, Spot +9
*Feats:* Improved Initiative
*Environment:* Warm Plains, Forest, or Swamp
*Organization:* Solitary or flock (10-20)
*Challenge Rating:* 7
*Treasure:* None
*Alignment:* Neutral
*Advancement:* None
*Level Adjustment:* ---

*Distraction (Ex):*  Any living creature that begins its turn with a Antbird swarm in its space must succeed on a DC 16 Fortitude save or be nauseated for 1 round. The save DC is Constitution-based. 

*Combat:*  An Antbird Swarm surrounds and attacks any living prey it encounters.







*Antbird*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom we'll be taking a look at a potential Antbird infestation in the official Mutual of Gnomeahaw Palantir! jim!  Are you there Jim?  Can you hear me?"

*Not Really Eusocial, As They Apparently Have No Queen*
"Yes Harlan, I can hear you, as can the unholy abomination hovering inches from my face"

"I'm told they're heavily arboreal in nature Jim.  Are you close to the treeline?"

"We're in a forest Harlan.  Everything is treeline."

*Make Sure Your Insurance Is Paid*
"Now is probably the perfect time to remind our viewers of our sponsor, Mutual of Gnomeahaw!  Are you a heavily armed drifter the townies consider expendable when they ask you to solve their difficulties?  Do you live within 100 miles of a Wizards school?Is your Mother In Law a known Entity of Power?  Well you need Mutual of Gnomeahaw!  Mutual of Gnomeahaw has a vast storage of powdered diamond available for loan when you need brought back from the dead!  We also provide Clerical discounts!  Isn't that right Jim?"

"I'm a little more interested in Evocation spells at the moment Harlan."

----------


## Bhu

Do you still want the dance of weakness for the 5e Diakka?  Their touch attack is actually more useful.

----------


## Metastachydium

> Do you still want the dance of weakness for the 5e Diakka?  Their touch attack is actually more useful.


To be honest, I don't care much either way. I wouldn't bat an eye if there weren't a 5e version at all. So, your call!

----------


## Bhu

*Diakk,  Carcene*
                      Medium Outsider (Evil, Extraplanar)
*Hit Dice:*             8d8+16 (52 hp)
*Initiative:*           +3
*Speed:*                30 ft. (6 squares)
*Armor Class:*          20 (+3 Dex, +7 Natural), touch 13, flat-footed 17
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +8/+10
*Attack:*               Claw +10 melee (2d4+2)
*Full Attack:*          2 Claws +10 melee (2d4+2)
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Spell-Like Abilities, Weakness, Dance of Weakness
*Special Qualities:*    Darkvision 60 ft., SR 16, Immune to Poison and Acid damage, Energy Resistance 10 (Cold, Electricity, Fire)
*Saves:*                Fort +8, Ref +9, Will +6
*Abilities:*            Str 14, Dex 16, Con 14, Int 10, Wis 10, Cha 15
*Skills:*               Bluff +10, Climb +10, Escape Artist +11, Hide +13, Intimidate +10, Jump +10, Listen +8, Move Silently +13, Sense Motive +8, Spot +8, Survival +8
*Feats:*                Dodge, Mobility, Stealthy
*Environment:*        The Gray Waste
*Organization:*         Solitary, Pair or Gang (3-12)
*Challenge Rating:*     5
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Neutral Evil
*Advancement:*          9-16 HD (Medium)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

"Phyllis?  What are you doing at the convention?

"Selling the multiverse on the wonders of the Diakk as minions.  Did you know most of them live in poverty?"

"Might that be because they have no concept of money, and eat whoever gets close enough?"

The Carcene are the smarter of the two Diakk species, appearing as squat, pelican faced humanoids with long claws.  They range in color from black to dark green to maroon.  They usually direct flocks of their fellows (at least while they're successful).

*Weakness (Su):* A Diakk can weaken a foe by making a special touch attack. The opponent must succeed on a DC 16 Fortitude save or take 1d6 points of Strength damage. The save DC is Charisma-based. 

*Spell-Like Abilities (Sp):* At will: Ghost Sound.  3/Day: Jump.  Caster level 6th. The save DC is Charisma-based. 

*Dance of Weakness (Su):* A Diakk can dance and chant as a full-round actionat the end of three rounds, a wave of enervating energy is emitted, dealing 1d6 temporary Str damage to all non-diakka in a 30 foot radius (Fortitude DC 16 negates). For each additional diakk that joins the dance, the save DC increases by 1 and the Str damage increases by one, to a maximum of 1d6+3 when four or more diakka are dancing (the save DC continues to increase for additional diakka). The dance immediately ends and must be started anew if any participating diakk is slain, stunned or otherwise prevented from dancing. The save DC is Charisma based.

*Combat:* Diakk are sneaky and watchful, and  will not attack until they have ascertained their potential preys vulnerabilities, and whether or not they have a chance at taking them.  They prefer attacking only when they outnumber foes.




*Diakk*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! I'm your host Harlan Jergens, and today we're coming to youlive from the Gray Waste of Hades!"

"Hello Harly.."

"Phyllis?  I'd forgotten you lived here..."

"You're on a first name basis with a Night Hag?"

*Night Hag Servants*

"He's on more than a first name basis my dear clone."

"Why does everyone keep calling me that?""

"Give it up Harly, my minions have you surrounded."

"What are these bird-like creatures?"

*They Always Travel In Packs*
"They're called Diakk Jim.  They're one of the more common species here."

"I'd command them to eat you, but I don't want to give them indigestion."

----------


## Bhu

*Diakk, Varath*
                      Large Outsider (Evil, Extraplanar)
*Hit Dice:*             6d8+18 (45 hp)
*Initiative:*           +2
*Speed:*                50 ft. (10 squares)
*Armor Class:*          21 (-1 Size, +2 Dex, +10 Natural), touch 11, flat-footed 19
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +6/+13
*Attack:*               Bite +8 melee (2d6+4)
*Full Attack:*          Bite +8 melee (2d6+4)
*Space/Reach:*          10 ft./10 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Spell-Like Abilities, Weakness, Dance of Weakness
*Special Qualities:*     Darkvision 60 ft., SR 16, Immune to Poison and Acid damage, Energy Resistance 10 (Cold, Electricity, Fire)
*Saves:*                Fort +8, Ref +7, Will +5
*Abilities:*            Str 16, Dex 14, Con 16, Int 6, Wis 10, Cha 15
*Skills:*               Bluff +8, Climb +9,  Hide +6, Intimidate +8, Jump +9, Listen +6, Move Silently +10, Spot +6, Survival +6
*Feats:*                Dodge, Mobility, Stealthy
*Environment:*          The Gray Waste
*Organization:*         Solitary, Pair or Gang (3-12)
*Challenge Rating:*     5
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Neutral Evil
*Advancement:*          7-12 HD (Large)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

"They are rather peckish Phyllis."

"They are _Evil_ Minions..."

Varath are tall humanoid looking creatures with sharp, stork-like bills.  Their oily plumage is sparse, and color ranges from pea green to gray to rust.  They are often used as cheap thugs by both their fellows and the Night Hags, and otherwise just try to eat whatever wanders close.

*Weakness (Su):* A Diakk can weaken a foe by making a special touch attack. The opponent must succeed on a DC 15 Fortitude save or take 1d6 points of Strength damage. The save DC is Charisma-based. 

*Spell-Like Abilities (Sp):* At will: Ghost Sound.  3/Day: Jump.  Caster level 6th. The save DC is Charisma-based. 

*Dance of Weakness (Su):* A Diakk can dance and chant as a full-round actionat the end of three rounds, a wave of enervating energy is emitted, dealing 1d6 temporary Str damage to all non-diakka in a 30 foot radius (Fortitude DC 15 negates). For each additional diakk that joins the dance, the save DC increases by 1 and the Str damage increases by one, to a maximum of 1d6+3 when four or more diakka are dancing (the save DC continues to increase for additional diakka). The dance immediately ends and must be started anew if any participating diakk is slain, stunned or otherwise prevented from dancing. The save DC is Charisma based.

*Combat:* Diakk are sneaky and watchful, and  will not attack until they have ascertained their potential preys vulnerabilities, and whether or not they have a chance at taking them.  They prefer attacking only when they outnumber foes.




*Diakk*
"Fortunately I have an emergency Plane Shift up my sleeve!  To me, Jim!"  *POOF*

"Exactly what was all that nonsense?"

*Ambush Predators*

"We were there to interview the Diakk peoples Jim, long considered the bottom of the social ladder of Hades.  I had forgotten many of them were ruled by Night Hags."

"Are they dangerous?"

"The Diakk are always hungry, and it's made worse by their traveling in flocks.  The ones you really have to watch out for are the ones ruled by other, smarter entities.  The Diakk d not have the cunning necessary to make the best use of their abilities."

"Can they follow us?"

"No, thankfully. Phyllis might be able to though."

"She called me a clone."

"Never listen to Night Hags Jim."

----------


## Bhu

*Archer Fish*
Small Magical Beast (Aquatic)
*Hit Dice:* 2d10 (11 hp)
*Initiative:* +3
*Speed:* Swim 40 ft. (8 squares)
*Armor Class:* 15 (+1 Size, +3 Dex, +1 Natural), touch 14, flat-footed 12
*Base Attack/Grapple:* +2/-5
*Attack:* Spit +6 Ranged (1d6/x3)
*Full Attack:* Spit +6 Ranged (1d6/x3)
*Space/Reach:* 5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:* Spit
*Special Qualities:* Dark Vision 60 ft.
*Saves:* Fort +3, Ref +6, Will +0
*Abilities:* Str 5, Dex 17, Con 11, Int 2, Wis 11, Cha 6
*Skills:* Listen +2, Spot +3
*Feats:* Point Blank Shot
*Environment:* Warm Aquatic
*Organization:* Solitary or School (6-30)
*Challenge Rating:* 1
*Treasure:* None
*Alignment:* Neutral
*Advancement:* 2-3 HD (Medium)
*Level Adjustment:*  ---

_"Abner...git the preacher.  Thet carp done shot me!"_

Magicians have always been known for trying to breed magical guardians, so it isn't surprising that one day some madman would invent a really large fish that could puke arrows. Well actually they're arrow like bits of Force, but that's precious little difference to the rural fishermen being shot by them.

*Spit(Su):* The Archer Fish can spit arrows of force. This is a Standard Action with a 100 ft. range, and firing it under water, or at opponents out of the water doesn't provide any penalties to the attack/damage rolls.

*Skills:* The Archer Fish has a +8 Racial Bonus to Swim checks, and can always take 10 on a swim check even if threatened or endangered. It may use the Run action while swimming in a straight line.

*Combat:* The Archer Fish rarely initiates combat as long as nothing approaches within 10' that seems threatening. Then it burps arrows till the threat dies, or flees the area (or seems threatening enough that the fish decides to flee).




*Archer Fish*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom, Jim has been sent in search of the elusive Archer Fish, a freshwater lake fish that can supposedly expectorate Force projectiles.  Have you found anything Jim?"

*Wizards? I Think Not*
"Yes Harlan, the locals claim the river is haunted, and we're now theorizing these fish may have evolved their Force abilities as a way of not only securing prey, but in dealing with the incorporeal."

"Are there any ghosts in the vicinity?"

"Quite a few. We're having to use magic to avoid their notice."

*Some Hours Later*
PEW  PEW PEW PEW

"They have us pinned down Harlan!  The ghosts may not have noticed us but the fish did!"

"What's that to your South Jim?"

"That...that is a ghost shark..."

----------


## Bhu

*Blowfly*
Fine Magical Beast (Air)
*Hit Dice:* 1d10 (5 hp)
*Initiative:* +0
*Speed:* 5 ft. (1 square), Climb 5 ft., Fly 40 ft. (Good)
*Armor Class:* 18 (+8 Size), touch 18, flat-footed 18
*Base Attack/Grapple:* +1/-20
*Attack:* -
*Full Attack:* -
*Space/Reach:* 1/2 ft./0 ft.
*Special Attacks:* Gust of Wind
*Special Qualities:* Dark Vision 60 ft., Scent
*Saves:* Fort +2, Ref +2, Will +0
*Abilities:* Str 1, Dex 10, Con 10, Int 1, Wis 11, Cha 10
*Skills:* Climb+3, Hide +16, Listen +4, Spot +4
*Feats:* Alertness
*Environment:* Any
*Organization:* Solitary or Swarm (6-30)
*Challenge Rating:* 1/2
*Treasure:* None
*Alignment:* Neutral
*Advancement:* -
*Level Adjustment:* ---

_"Abner...this has to be the low point of our career..."_

_"Naw.  Remember when we got our asses kicked by that giant duck?_

Blowflies are large black flies invented by a madman in his magical labs for purposes of amusement.  And by amusement we mean vengeful prank on the local populace who refused to accept their place as his servants.  They are generally regarded as among the most hated magical creations known today, even more reviled than the Owlbear.  Large swarms of them are rumored to produce hurricane like winds, destroying communities.  They appear to be hideous flies roughly 2 inches long.

*Gust of Wind (Su):* The Blowfly may cast the spell Gust of Wind as a Supernatural ability at will as a 3rd level Sorcerer.

*Skills:* Blowflies get a +8 Racial Bonus to Climb checks, and can always take 10 on climb checks even if rushed or threatened.

*Combat:* Nervous flies blast any source of irritation or fear with Gust of Wind and fly away. But the little monsters keep coming back, Just like real flies.  


*Blowfly Swarm*
                      Fine Magical Beast (Air)
*Hit Dice:*             12d10 (66 hp)
*Initiative:*           +4
*Speed:*                5 ft. (1 square), Climb 5 ft., Fly 40 Ft. (Good)
*Armor Class:*          18 (+8 Size), touch 18, flat-footed 18
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +12/-
*Attack:*               Swarm (3d6)
*Full Attack:*          Swarm (3d6)
*Space/Reach:*          10 ft./0 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Hurricane, Distraction
*Special Qualities:*    Dark Vision 60 ft., Scent, Immune to Weapon damage, Swarm traits
*Saves:*                Fort +10, Ref +10, Will +6
*Abilities:*            Str 1, Dex 10, Con 10, Int 1, Wis 11, Cha 10
*Skills:*               Climb+7, Hide +16, Listen +7, Spot +7
*Feats:*                Alertness, Great Fortitude, Improved Initiative, Iron Will, Lightning Reflexes
*Environment:*          Any
*Organization:*         Solitary
*Challenge Rating:*     6
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Neutral
*Advancement:*          -
*Level Adjustment:*     ----

*Hurricane (Su):* The Blowfly Swarm may cast the spell Gust of Wind as a Supernatural ability at will as a 15th level Sorcerer.  It may also cast  Whirlwind 1/day as a Supernatural Ability (Caster Level is the same).

*Distraction (Ex):* Any living creature that begins its turn with a swarm in its space must succeed on a DC 16 Fortitude save or be nauseated for 1 round. The save DC is Constitution-based. 

*Skills:* Blowflies get a +8 Racial Bonus to Climb checks, and can always take 10 on climb checks even if rushed or threatened.

*Combat:* Blowfly swarms are a tad more aggressive and smug than lone members of their kind.





*Blowfly*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom we'll be taking a look at the Blowfly, also known as Calliphora ventifera.  As usual, my expendable assistant Jim will be doing the honors!"

*Born To Be Annoying*
"The Blowfly is the pest it was designed to be Harlan.  It's habit of lashing out with gale force wind at anything that approaches has damaged crops, buildings, and even occasionally taken some lives."

"Have you found more on their creator Jim?"

"Afraid not Harlan.  The birthplace of the Blowfly was utterly destroyed by the initial swarms.  Seems their creator didn't know how dangerous they'd be when they congregated."

*Sought As An Energy Resource*
"Viewers will be astonished to learn that Blowflies are now being sought after as a source of wind power, for turning mills and other sundry uses."

"By who?  Madmen?."

----------


## Metastachydium

> *Diakk,  Carcene*
> *Speed:*                30 ft. (30 squares)


Did you mean: 150 feet (30 squares)?




> *Dance of Weakness (Su):* A Diakk can dance and chant as a full-round actionat the end of three rounds, a wave of enervating energy is emitted, dealing 1d6 temporary Str damage to all non-diakka in a 30 foot radius (Fortitude DC 16 negates). For each additional diakk that joins the dance, the save DC increases by 1 and the Str damage increases by one, to a maximum of 1d6+3 when four or more diakka are dancing (the save DC continues to increase for additional diakka). The dance immediately ends and must be started anew if any participating diakk is slain, stunned or otherwise prevented from dancing. The save DC is Charisma based.


That's kind of on the weaksauce side of things which is oddly fitting. (Anyhow, what's with birdlike fiends and dancing? First the vrocks and now these guys I see a pettern emerging!)



> *Diakk, Varath*
> *Attack:*               Bite +8 melee (2d6+4)


Should have +9 to hit (+6 BAB, +3 STR).




> SR 17


Are these scaling with HD, by the way?

And, most importantly: these look gorgeous! Many thanks again!




> *Blowfly*
> ()  
> 
> They appear to be hideous flies roughly 2 inches long.


(Oh! My sicklewings (funny little swift (the birdy) people) would love these!)




> Blowfly, also known as Calliiphora ventus


And the usual nitpicking: Call_i_phora is spelled with one i. Also, while at it, may I suggest _ventifera_ ('bringer of wind') or _ventilatrix_ (from the same root that gave us ventillators) as the species name? A masculine noun like ventus sounds odd in this context.

----------


## Bhu

Give me till the weekend and I'll fix.  This is my 4th week of overtime (and my third week of my check being short) so I'm exhausted.

----------


## Bhu

> Did you mean: 150 feet (30 squares)?
> 
> 
> Should have +9 to hit (+6 BAB, +3 STR).


  They have a -1 size penalty.  I think I fixed the rest.

----------


## Bhu

*Barbearian*
Large Magical Beast
*Hit Dice:* 8d10+32 (76 hp)
*Initiative:* +1
*Speed:* 50 ft. (10 squares)
*Armor Class:* 15 (-1 Size, +1 Dex, + 5 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 14
While raging 13 (-1 Size, +1 Dex, +5 Natural, -2 Rage), touch 8,
flat-footed 12
*Base Attack/Grapple:* +8/+20
*Attack:* Claw +15 melee (1d8+8), while raging: Claw +17 melee (1d8+10)
*Full Attack:* 2 Claws +15 melee (1d8+8) and 1 Bite +10 melee (2d6+4), while raging: 2 Claws +17 melee (1d8+10) and 1 Bite +12 melee (2d6+5)
*Space/Reach:* 10 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:* Improved Grab, Rage 3/day
*Special Qualities:* Dark Vision 60 ft., Low Light Vision, Scent, Damage Reduction: 1/-, Trap Sense +2, Uncanny Dodge, Improved Uncanny Dodge
*Saves:* Fort +10 (+12 while raging), Ref +7, Will +3 (+5 while raging)
*Abilities:* Str 26, Dex 12, Con 18, Int 8, Wis 12, Cha 10
*Skills:* Listen +6, Spot +7, Swim +16
*Feats:* Power Attack, Cleave, Intimidating Rage
*Environment:* Cold Forests
*Organization:* Solitary or Pair
*Challenge Rating:* 7
*Treasure:* Standard
*Alignment:* Chaotic Neutral
*Advancement:* By character class
*Level Adjustment:* ---

_"Abner thet there bawr is lookin' at me like I stole his salmon..."_

Barbearians are very large Brown Bears with horrible tempers, and awakened intelligence. The usual requisite insane mage is to blame supposedly. God knows why he'd want surly, irritable, possibly homicidally insane servants but mages are some weird guys.  Barbearians have all the abilities of a Barbarian equal to their Hit Dice level, and can qualify for Feats etc as if they were Barbarians. Favored Class is of course Barbarian. For all intents and purposes they appear to be normal Brown Bears.  They speak Common and Sylvan.

*Improved Grab (Ex):* If a Barbearian hits with a Claw attack it may attempt a Grapple check as a free action without provoking an attack of opportunity.

*Rage (Ex):*  A Barbearian can fly into a rage 3 times per day. In a rage, a Barbearian temporarily gains a +4 bonus to Strength, a +4 bonus to Constitution, and a +2 morale bonus on Will saves, but they take a -2 penalty to Armor Class. The increase in Constitution increases the Barbearians hit points by 2 points per level, but these hit points go away at the end of the rage when their Constitution score drops back to normal. (These extra hit points are not lost first the way temporary hit points are.) While raging, a Barbearian cannot use any Charisma-, Dexterity-, or Intelligence-based skills (except for Balance, Escape Artist, and Intimidate), the Concentration skill, or any abilities that require patience or concentration, nor can they cast spells or activate magic items that require a command word, a spell trigger (such as a wand), or spell completion (such as a scroll) to function. They can use any feat they have except Combat Expertise, item creation feats, and metamagic feats. A fit of rage lasts for a number of rounds equal to 3 + the Barbearians (newly improved) Constitution modifier. A Barbearian may prematurely end his rage. At the end of the rage, the Barbearian loses the rage modifiers and restrictions and becomes fatigued (-2 penalty to Strength, -2 penalty to Dexterity, cant charge or run) for the duration of the current encounter.

A Barbearian can fly into a rage only once per encounter. At 1st level they can use their rage ability once per day. If they take Levels in Barbarian, their Racial Hit Dice are considered Barbarian Levels.  So a Barbearian with one Level in Barbarian has the abilities of a 9th Level Barbarian.

*Uncanny Dodge (Ex):*  A Barbearian retains his Dexterity bonus to AC (if any) even if they are caught flat-footed or struck by an invisible attacker. However, they still lose their Dexterity bonus to AC if immobilized. 

*Trap Sense (Ex):* A Barbearian gains a +2 bonus on Reflex saves made to avoid traps and a +1 dodge bonus to AC against attacks made by traps. 

Improved Uncanny Dodge (Ex):  A Barbearian can no longer be flanked. This defense denies a rogue the ability to sneak attack the Barbearian by flanking him, unless the attacker has at least four more rogue levels than the target has Hit Dice. 

*Damage Reduction (Ex):*  A Barbearian gains Damage Reduction. Subtract 1 from the damage the Barbearian takes each time he is dealt damage from a weapon or a natural attack. 

*Skills:* The Barbearian gains a +4 Racial Bonus on Swim checks.

*Combat:* Barbearians fight like most bears do, with the addition of Rage, and some intelligence.  Grappling is preferred but they'll leisurely beat you to death with their paws if they have the time.



*Frenzied Bearserker* (Barbearian, Frenzied Berserker 6
Large Magical Beast
*Hit Dice:* 8d10+6d12+70 (153 hp)
*Initiative:* +1
*Speed:* 50 ft. (10 squares)
*Armor Class:* 15 (-1 Size, +1 Dex, + 5 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 14
While raging 9 (-1 Size, +1 Dex, +5 Natural, -2 Rage, -4 Frenzy), touch 4,
flat-footed 11
*Base Attack/Grapple:* +14/+27
*Attack:* Claw +22 melee (1d8+9), while raging: Claw +17 melee (1d8+10)
*Full Attack:* 2 Claws +22 melee (1d8+9) and 1 Bite +20 melee (2d6+4), while raging and frenzying: 3 Claws +27 melee (1d8+14) and 1 Bite +25 melee (2d6+7)
*Space/Reach:* 10 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:* Improved Grab, Rage 3/day, Frenzy 3/day, Supreme Cleave, Improved Power Attack, Inspire Frenzy 1/day
*Special Qualities:* Dark Vision 60 ft., Low Light Vision, Scent, Damage Reduction: 1/-, Trap Sense +2, Uncanny Dodge, Improved Uncanny Dodge, Deathless Frenzy
*Saves:* Fort +16 (+18 while raging), Ref +10, Will +6 (+8 while raging)
*Abilities:* Str 28, Dex 12, Con 20, Int 8, Wis 12, Cha 10
*Skills:* Intimidate +6, Listen +6, Spot +7, Swim +16
*Feats:* Power Attack, Cleave, Diehard (B), Instantaneous Rage, Intimidating Rage, Multiattack
*Challenge Rating:* 14
*Treasure:* Standard
*Alignment:* Chaotic Neutral

Frenzied Bearserkers  are older, meaner Barbearians.  Rare conversations with them have led to the discovery that Druids, not Wizards, are responsible for them.  This has done nothing to soothe the minds of locals.

*Improved Grab (Ex):* If a Barbearian hits with a Claw attack it may attempt a Grapple check as a free action without provoking an attack of opportunity.

*Rage (Ex):*  A Barbearian can fly into a rage 3 times per day. In a rage, a Barbearian temporarily gains a +4 bonus to Strength, a +4 bonus to Constitution, and a +2 morale bonus on Will saves, but they take a -2 penalty to Armor Class. The increase in Constitution increases the Barbearians hit points by 2 points per level, but these hit points go away at the end of the rage when their Constitution score drops back to normal. (These extra hit points are not lost first the way temporary hit points are.) While raging, a Barbearian cannot use any Charisma-, Dexterity-, or Intelligence-based skills (except for Balance, Escape Artist, and Intimidate), the Concentration skill, or any abilities that require patience or concentration, nor can they cast spells or activate magic items that require a command word, a spell trigger (such as a wand), or spell completion (such as a scroll) to function. They can use any feat they have except Combat Expertise, item creation feats, and metamagic feats. A fit of rage lasts for a number of rounds equal to 3 + the Barbearians (newly improved) Constitution modifier. A Barbearian may prematurely end his rage. At the end of the rage, the Barbearian loses the rage modifiers and restrictions and becomes fatigued (-2 penalty to Strength, -2 penalty to Dexterity, cant charge or run) for the duration of the current encounter.

A Barbearian can fly into a rage only once per encounter. At 1st level they can use their rage ability once per day. If they take Levels in Barbarian, their Racial Hit Dice are considered Barbarian Levels.  So a Barbearian with one Level in Barbarian has the abilities of a 9th Level Barbarian.

*Frenzy (Ex):* A Frenzied Bearserker can enter a frenzy during combat. While frenzied, she gains a +6 bonus to Strength and, if she makes a full attack action, gains a single extra attack each round at her highest bonus. (This latter effect is not cumulative with haste or other effects that grant additional attacks.) However, she also takes a 4 penalty to Armor Class and takes 2 points of nonlethal damage per round. A frenzy lasts for a number of rounds equal to 3 + the Frenzied Bearserker's Constitution modifier. To end the frenzy before its duration expires, the Bearserker may attempt a DC 20 Will save once per round as a free action. Success ends the frenzy immediately; failure means it continues. The effects of frenzy stack with those from any rage ability the Bearserker may have.
The Bearserker can enter a frenzy 3 times per day (but she can't use the ability more than once in any encounter). The Bearserker can enter a frenzy as a free action. Even though this takes no time, she can do it only during her turn, not in response to another's action. In addition, if she takes damage from an attack, spell, trap, or any other source, she automatically enters a frenzy at the start of her next action, as long as she still has at least one daily usage of the ability left. To avoid entering a frenzy in response to a provoking effect, the character must make a successful Will save (DC 10 + points of damage taken since her last action) at the start of her next turn.

While frenzied, the Bearserker cannot use any Charisma-, Dexterity-, or Intelligence-based skills (except for Intimidate), the Concentration skill, or any abilities that require patience or concentration, nor can she cast spells, drink potions, activate magic items, or read scrolls. She can use any feat she has except Combat Expertise, item creation feats, or metamagic feats. She can use her special ability to inspire frenzy (see below) normally.

During a frenzy, the Frenzied Bearserker must attack those she perceives as foes to the best of her ability. Should she run out of enemies before her frenzy expires, her rampage continues. She must then attack the nearest creature (determine randomly if several potential foes are equidistant) and fight that opponent without regard to friendship, innocence, or health (the target's or her own).

When a frenzy ends, the Frenzied Bearserker is fatigued (2 penalty to Strength and Dexterity, unable to charge or run) for the duration of the encounter. If the character is still under the effect of a rage ability, the fatigued condition does not apply until the rage endsat which point the character is exhausted, not merely fatigued.  

*Supreme Cleave:* A Frenzied Bearserker can take a 5-foot step between attacks when using the Cleave or Great Cleave feat. She is still limited to one such adjustment per round, so she cannot use this ability during a round in which she has already taken a 5-foot step.

*Deathless Frenzy (Ex):* A Frenzied Bearserker can scorn death and unconsciousness while in a frenzy. As long as her frenzy continues, she is not treated as disabled at 0 hit points, nor is she treated as dying at 1 to 9 hit points. Even if reduced to 10 hit points or less, she continues to fight normally until her frenzy ends. At that point, the effects of her wounds apply normally if they have not been healed. This ability does not prevent death from massive damage or from spell effects such as slay living or disintegrate.

*Improved Power Attack:* A Frenzied Bearserker gains a +3 bonus on her melee damage rolls for every 2 penalty she takes on her melee attack rolls when using the Power Attack feat (or +3 for every 1 penalty if wielding a two-handed weapon other than a double weapon). This benefit does not stack with the normal effects of Power Attack.

*Inspire Frenzy (Su):* A Frenzied Bearserker can inspire frenzy in her allies while she herself is frenzied. When she uses this ability, all willing allies within 10 feet of her gain the benefits and the disadvantages of frenzy as if they had that ability themselves. The frenzy of affected allies lasts for a number of rounds equal to 3 + the frenzied berserker's Constitution modifier, regardless of whether they remain within 10 feet of her.

*Uncanny Dodge (Ex):*  A Barbearian retains his Dexterity bonus to AC (if any) even if they are caught flat-footed or struck by an invisible attacker. However, they still lose their Dexterity bonus to AC if immobilized. 

*Trap Sense (Ex):* A Barbearian gains a +2 bonus on Reflex saves made to avoid traps and a +1 dodge bonus to AC against attacks made by traps. 

Improved Uncanny Dodge (Ex):  A Barbearian can no longer be flanked. This defense denies a rogue the ability to sneak attack the Barbearian by flanking him, unless the attacker has at least four more rogue levels than the target has Hit Dice. 

*Damage Reduction (Ex):*  A Barbearian gains Damage Reduction. Subtract 1 from the damage the Barbearian takes each time he is dealt damage from a weapon or a natural attack. 

*Skills:* The Barbearian gains a +4 Racial Bonus on Swim checks.

*Combat:*  A Frenzied Bearserker is a Barbarian with Levels of Frenzied Berserker.  Tactics are now a distant memory for them.

----------


## Bhu

*Barbearian*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I will be interviewing a common Ursus arctos whom local Wizards have given sapience and a job."

*So Not Wizards*
"Actually Harlan, they were explaining that they're minions for the local Druids.."

"Is this true?"

"We consider minion a hurtful term.."

*Permarage*
"Our apologies good sir.  May I ask what you are employed for?."

"Being able to enter mindless fury at will when it is needed."

"How often is that?"

"Mostly when the local pirates invade.  Every other Tuesday.  Virtually any sudden movements or loud noises."

"Well that's all the time we have for today folks..."

----------


## Bhu

*Stone Crab*
Huge Magical Beast (Aquatic, Earth)
*Hit Dice:* 16d10+176 (264 hp)
*Initiative:* -1
*Speed:* 20 ft. (4 squares)
*Armor Class:* 27 (-2 Size, -1 Dex, +20 Natural), touch 7, flat-footed 27
*Base Attack/Grapple:* +16/+38
*Attack:* Pincer +24 melee (2d6+10/19-20)
*Full Attack:* 2 Pincers +24 melee (2d6+10/19-20)
*Space/Reach:* 15 ft./10 ft.
*Special Attacks:* Constrict, Improved Grab
*Special Qualities:* Darkvision 60 ft., Amphibious, Scent, Damage Reduction 10/-, Immunities, Camouflage
*Saves:* Fort +20, Ref +9, Will +6
*Abilities:* Str 30, Dex 8, Con 30, Int 1, Wis 12, Cha 2
*Skills:* Hide +1 (+9 in stony areas), Spot +10
*Feats:* Awesome Blow, Cleave, Great Cleave, Improved Critical (Claw), Improved Toughness, Power Attack
*Environment:* Any Aquatic
*Organization:* Solitary
*Challenge Rating:* 11
*Treasure:* Standard
*Alignment:* Neutral
*Advancement:* 17-32 HD (Gargantuan), 33-54 HD (Collosal)
*Level Adjustment:* ---

_"Thaaat ain't no hill..."_

Stone Crabs are immense Crabs infused with the power of the Elemental Plane of Earth by yet another psychotic mage with an axe to grind. Capable of growing to immense size, their ferocious appetites make them trouble for the local ecosystems. Their bodily makeup makes them a rich prize for anyone capable of putting one down, as they also eat many rare metals and minerals.  Stone Crabs are roughly 16' across, and weigh up to 16 tons.

*Constrict (Ex):* A Stone Crab does 4d6+10 with a successful Grapple check.

*Improved Grab (Ex):* If a Stone Crab successfully hits with a Claw Attack it may attempt a Grapple Check as a Free Action without provoking an attack of opportunity. If successful it may Constrict. Stone Crabs receive a +4 Racial Bonus on Grapple Checks.

*Immunities (Ex):* Stone Crab are immune to Poison, sleep effects, paralysis, stunning, Critical Hits, and all mind-affecting effects.

*Camouflage (Ex):* Stone Crabs appear to be made of stone, and in rough, jagged stone areas they receive a +8 Racial Bonus to Hide checks, and may use the Camouflage and Hide in Plain Sight abilities (see page 48 of the Players Handbook).

*Combat:* Stone Crabs are ambush predators with little more tactical sense than to Hide until something gets close, and then grab it.  They're stubborn too.  You really gotta hurt em to make one leave.  And by hurt we don't mean wound so much as tear of a limb or two.





*Stone Crab*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I will be interviewing Brother Oswin, Priest of the local Earth God, about his astonishing coastal fauna.

*Divine Creations*
"What exactly are those things Brother Oswin?"

"The local villagers consider them the work of an arcane madman, but I know the truth!  It was I, Brother Oswin, who petitioned the Great God Ertu to provide us with guardians to stop raiders from pillaging our monastery.  And behold, Ertu has responded by gifting once common crabs with the power of the Earth!"

*Hungry*
"Why do the local villagers not like them if they were sent by your God?"

"Well, unfortunately, being so much bigger, the crabs are always hungry.  And besides raiders, they protect our coasts from virtually all living things that get close enough."

"Gentlemen, I think they've noticed us..."

----------


## Bhu

*Pan-Da*
Medium Fey
*Hit Dice:* 5d6+10 (27 hp)
*Initiative:* +1
*Speed:* 40 ft. (8 squares)
*Armor Class:* 15 (+1 Dex, + 4 Natural), touch 11, flat-footed 14
*Base Attack/Grapple:* +2/+6
*Attack:* Claw + 6 melee (1d4+4) 
*Full Attack:* 2 Claws +6 melee (1d4+4) and 1 Bite +1 melee ( 1d6+2)
*Space Reach:* 5 ft./ 5 ft.
*Special Attacks:* Pipes, Spellcasting
*Special Qualities:* Damage Reduction 5/Cold Iron, low-light vision, Wild Empathy, Spell Resistance 15
*Saves:* Fort: +3, Ref + 5, Will + 5
*Abilities:* Str 18, Dex 13, Con 14, Int 15, Wis 13, Cha 18
*Skills:* Bluff + 8, Climb +8, Concentration + 6, Diplomacy +8, Handle Animal + 8, Heal +5, Hide +5, Intimidate +8, Knowledge (Nature) + 6, Listen + 6, Move Silently + 5, Search + 6, Sense Motive +8, Spellcraft +6, Spot + 5, Survival + 5
*Feats:* Alertness, Endurance, Self-Sufficient
*Environment:* Temperate Forests
*Organization:* Solitary
*Challenge Rating:* 4 without pipes, 5 with
*Treasure:* Standard
*Alignment:* Chaotic Neutral
*Advancement:* 6-7 HD (Medium), 8-12 HD (Large)
*Level Adjustment:* --

_"Stop me if you've heard this one..."_

_"NO MORE PUNS!!!"_

_"Well fine Mr. Touchy Wizard, I just guess I'll settle for doing things to you while you're sleeping."_

The Pan-Da appears to be a slightly anthropomorphic panda with short stubby horns (or moose antlers), carrying reed pipes. Some even have cloven hooves for feet. They are whimsical forest guardians, preferring bamboo or pine forests to all others. Approached respectfully (or if offered wine, bamboo or honey) they can be excellent guides and helpers. Otherwise your in deep trouble as it decides to spend all it's time pulling pranks on you, or telling bad puns until you wish for death.  They stand about 6' tall, weighing in at 350 pounds, and speak Common and Sylvan.

*Pipes (Su):*  Pan-Das can play a variety of magical tunes on their pan pipes. Usually, only one Pan-Da in a group carries pipes. When it plays, all creatures within a 60-foot spread (except fey) must succeed on a DC 17 Will save or be affected by Charm Person, Sleep, or Fear (caster level 10th; the Pan-Da chooses the tune and its effect).

In the hands of other beings, these pipes have no special powers. A creature that successfully saves against any of the pipes effects cannot be affected by the same set of pipes for 24 hours. The save DC is Charisma-based. 

*Spellcasting:* The Panda casts spells as a 5th Level Bard. 

_Typical Bard Spells Known (3/4/1; Save DC 14 plus spell level)_
0: Dancing Lights, Daze, Detect Magic, Ghost Sound, Mage Hand, Prestidigitation.  1st:  Charm Person, Disguise Self, Grease, Hideous Laughter.  2nd: Invisibility, Mirror Image, Suggestion.

*Wild Empathy (Ex):* This is identical to the Druid class feature, except the Pan-Da has a +6 Racial Bonus on the roll.

*Combat:* Pan-Da's usually avoid combat, using their Pipes or spells to lead opponents into trouble. However should this fail they have no problem wading in and beating the unholy crap out of individuals. Groups are another matter....groups they pick at one by one from the cover of the forest.




*Pan-Da*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens, and this is my consistently befuddled assistant Jim!  Today on Wild Kingdom we'll be coming to you live from Alfheim!  With us is Deathmango Johnson, a member of a local Fey species known as Pan-Da's.  Which given their appearance is a horribly bad pun."

*Pun-ishing Conversationalists*
"The Pan-Da's are well known for bad puns Harlan."

"Ladies, if he cant appreciate your fruit jokes, you need to let that mango."

"Apparently they also like inserting non-sequiturs into conversation."

*Eminently Bribeable*
"The Fey can be difficult to understand Jim."

"Kind sir, we provide valuable services as guides for those providing us with a small fee of food.  We also give advice."

"I could use some advice."

"Never ask a horse for advice.  They are a bunch of neigh sayers."

----------


## Bhu

*Fairy Shrimp*
Diminutive Fey (Aquatic)
*Hit Dice:* 1d6+1 (4 hp)
*Initiative:* +4
*Speed:* 20 ft. Swim (4 squares), 40 ft. Flying (good)
*Armor/Class:* 18 (+4 Size, +4 Dex), touch 18, flat-footed 14
*Base Attack/Grapple:* +0/ -15
*Attack:* Nip +1 melee (1d3-3)
* Full Attack:* Nip +1 melee (1d3-3)
*Space/Reach:* 1 ft./ 0 ft.
*Special Attacks:* Spells
*Special Qualities:* Damage Reduction 5/ Cold Iron, low-light vision, Amphibious, Spell Resistance 17
*Saves:* Fort +1, Ref + 6, Will + 3
*Abilities:* Str 5, Dex 18, Con 13, Int 10, Wis 13, Cha 16
*Skills:* Bluff +7, Diplomacy +7, Hide + 16, Intimidate +7, Knowledge (Arcana) +4, Spot + 5
*Feats:* Dodge
*Environment:* Warm Marshes
*Organization:* Solitary or Swarm (10 to 40)
*Challenge Rating:* 1
*Treasure:* Standard
*Alignment:* Chaotic Neutral
*Advancement:* 2-3 HD (small), 4-6 HD (Medium), 7-12 HD (Large)
*Level Adjustment:* -


_"Leroy?"_

_"What Jebediah?"_

_We had too much Shine? Or are the Crawdaddies floating 'round us on wings?"_

_"Naw.  Naw they's flyin'."_

Fairy Shrimp appear to be delicate shrimp like beings with butterfly or dragonfly wings. They haunt pools and rivers and wetlands in abundance, considering themselves protectors of the bayous. Granted their idea of protection is just annoying outsiders until they leave, but if it's effective you run with what you're good at. They speak Common and Sylvan.

*Spells:* Fairy Shrimp can cast spells as a Sorcerer equal to their Hit Dice.   

_Typical Sorceror Spells Known (5/4; Save DC 13 plus spell level)_
0: Dancing Lights, Detect Magic, Message, Prestidigitation.  1st:  Color Spray, Sleep.  

*Combat:* Fairy Shrimp rarely resort to physical combat, harrying their opponents with spells as a group instead. They tend to specialize in Conjuration, Divination, Enchantment, and Illusion.  If pressed they will flee and return later with help.



*Fairy Shrimp*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens, and today Jim and I seem to have been led astray by our guide and we are now lost on the outskirts of a marsh."

*Local Guardians*
"We have company Harlan."

"Explain yourselves evil-doers."

"We aren't evil, we just trusted a Pan-Da."

*You Are Feeling Sleeepy...*
"Evil is a subjective term, especially for shellfish."

"You must be a Wizard."

"Why do you say that?"

"He thinks Evil is debatable, and he's traveling with a clone.  Now, if you'll both look into our eyes this will all be over shortly."

----------


## Bhu

*Arctic Fox*
Tiny Magical Beast (Cold)
*Hit Dice:* 6d10+6 (39 hp)
*Initiative:* +3
*Speed:* 30 ft. (6 squares)
*Armor Class:* 18 (+2 Size, +3 Dex, +3 Natural), touch 15, flat-footed 15
*Base Attack/Grapple:* +6/-2
*Attack:* Bite +11 melee (1d3+1d6 cold)
*Full Attack:* Bite +11 melee (1d3+1d6 cold)
*Space/Reach:* 2 1/2 ft./0 ft.
*Special Attacks:* Arctic Weather, Cold Touch
*Special Qualities:* Darkvision 60 ft., Scent
*Saves:* Fort +8, Ref +10, Will +5
*Abilities:* Str 10, Dex 16, Con 12, Int 12, Wis 14, Cha 20
*Skills:* Hide +13, Knowledge (Geography, Local, Nature) +6, Listen +4, Move Silently +9, Spot +4, Survival +6
*Feats:* Alertness, Leadership, Weapon Finesse
*Environment:* Any Cold or Temperate
*Organization:* Solitary plus Cohort
*Challenge Rating:* 4
*Treasure:* standard
*Alignment:* Neutral
*Advancement:* 7-10 HD (Tiny)
*Level Adjustment:* ---

_"So...your money or your crops.  Better you make with the shiny."_

Arctic Foxes appear to be normal white foxes. Unfortunately the winter comes with them, meaning they are quite the nuisance for civilizations and other spurious definitions of ecosystems.  They used to use it to extort farmers, till they learned farmers are dirt poor and get taxed into oblivion.  So now they extort the communities dependent on the farmers efforts (i.e. the tax collectors).  No one has yet figured out what they need or use the money for, and if asked the foxes sarcastically reply that they eat it.  It may be true after all, as no one has ever seen what they do with it or how they transport it.  Wizards are blamed as usual for their appearance, though for once even they seem at a loss as to the foxes origins.   Arctic Foxes speak Common and Sylvan.

*Arctic Weather (Su):* Weather within 5 miles of an Arctic Fox undergoes a drastic change. The temperature lowers by 30 degrees, and winds increase by 20 mph. If this makes it cold enough to snow, it does so.  In effect the area in a 5 mile radius of the Arctic Fox is permanently under the effects of a Fimbulwinter spell (Caster Level 10th).  

*Cold Touch (Su):* Anyone touching the Arctic Fox (natural weapon, grapple, unarmed strike, etc) takes 1d6 cold damage. Anyone it successfully attacks takes 1d6 cold damage as well (or 1d6 cold per round in a grapple).

*Combat:* Arctic Foxes avoid combat with anything bigger than themselves (and because they know that most other beings want them dead because of the weather they cause).  In general they try to avoid combat.  They'll waylay a passerby and tell him to present their demands to the city (give me your money and I'll go away), then hightail it somewhere nearby they can hide.  Usually they have a some group of minions as hirelings in order to accept or relay messages, and collect the loot as well.

*Typical Cohort:* An Arctic Fox has a Leadership Score of 11, which translates to an 4th Level Cohort (usually a Druid or Barbarian), and six 1st Level followers.



*Arctic Fox*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I will be interviewing some sort of a fox."

*Snow Is My Constant Companion*

 "You two really aren't dressed for this."

"In our defense the last thing we remember was being in a swamp.  Is this still Alfheim?""

"Afraid so chap.  You'll pardon the winter weatherr, it always snows where I travel."

*Give Me What I Want, And I'll Go Away*

"Doesn't that make life difficult?"

"Only for the people who I make bribe me to leave."

"I don't suppose you know of a local teleportation circle?"

----------


## Bhu

*Bullfrog*
Large Magical Beast
*Hit Dice:* 8d10+24 (68 hp)
*Initiative:* +5
*Speed:* 40 ft. (8 squares)
*Armor Class:* 13 (-1 Size, +1 Dex, +3 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 12
*Base Attack/Grapple:* +8/+17
*Attack:* Bite +14 melee (1d8+5) or Tongue +14 melee touch (grapple)
*Full Attack:* Bite +14 melee (1d8+5) or Tongue +14 melee touch (grapple)
*Space/Reach:* 10 ft./5 ft. (10 ft. with Tongue)
*Special Attacks:* Tongue Grapple, Powerful Charge
*Special Qualities:* Darkvision 60 ft., Low Light Vision
*Saves:* Fort +9, Ref +7, Will +4
*Abilities:* Str 20, Dex 12, Con 16, Int 1, Wis 14, Cha 4
*Skills:* Jump +13, Listen +7, Spot +7
*Feats:* Alertness, Skill Focus: Jump, Improved Initiative
*Environment:* Warm Marsh, Plains, Forest
*Organization:* Solitary, Pair, or Herd (6-30)
*Challenge Rating:* 4
*Treasure:* None
*Alignment:* Always Neutral
*Advancement:* 9-12 HD (Large), 13-24 HD (Huge)
*Level Adjustment:* ---

_"Bert...Bert you hear that?  It sounded like a thousand frogs ribbited at once..."_

In some sort of drunken college spree, several wizards came across the methods used to make the Owlbear, and created a bunch of bison sized frogs with horns. Then, just for giggles, when they got tired of them setting around eating giant bugs and farting all over the place they turned them loose into the wild.  Now swampdwellers everywhere can raise the vicious little halfwits as food or companions.  Bullywugs are actually said to prize them.

*Tongue Grapple (Ex):* The Bullfrog has an adhesive tongue that allows it to make grapple checks without the usual penalty for grappling with one extremity. It may attack with it's tongue as a melee touch attack, and is considered to be grappling it's opponent if successful.  This does not provoke an Attack of Opportunity, and if the Bullfrog wins the Grapple check it can reel a target in and begin doing bite damage each turn it maintains the Grapple.

*Powerful Charge (Ex):* When Bullfrogs do their initial leaping charge, they slam into opponents for 2d8+10 bludgeoning damage.

*Combat:* If an opponent is within range of their tongue Bullfrogs will attempt to grapple and then begin munching. Otherwise they charge, and then proceed to bite.  Either way, they have a single minded fixation on noms.



*Bullfrog*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I will be coming to you live from the Black Marsh!"

*Swamp Cattle*

 "What the hell are you two doing in my field?."

"Good evening sir!  We're from Mutual of Gnomeahaw, and we're hoping to interview you about your unique cattle."

"You two don't stay out of tongue range and you'll be interviewing me from inside one of them."

*Ribbit Ribbit*

"Don't worry good sir!  We're protected by Mutual of Gnomeahaw!"

"You'd be better off if you just tasted really bad."

"So...how is life as a Bullfrog farmer?"

"They only eat giant bugs, so that complicates things.  Speaking of which, you see that way over there?  Don't go that way."

----------


## Bhu

*Crab Spider*
Huge Magical Beast
*Hit Dice:* 10d10+20 (75 hp)
*Initiative:* +3
*Speed:* 40 ft. (8 squares)
*Armor Class:* 21 (-2 Size, +3 Dex, +10 Natural), touch 11, flat-footed 18
*Base Attack/Grapple:* +10/+25
*Attack:* Pincer +15 melee (2d6+7)
*Full Attack:* 2 Pincers +15 melee (2d6+7) and 1 Bite +10 melee (2d6+3 plus poison)
*Space/Reach:* 15 ft./10 ft.
*Special Attacks:* Poison, Pincer Grab, Constrict (3d6+10)
*Special Qualities:* Low Light Vision, Darkvision 60 ft., Scent
*Saves:* Fort +9, Ref +10, Will +4
*Abilities:* Str 25, Dex 17, Con 14, Int 3, Wis 12, Cha 2
*Skills:* Climb +10, Hide -1, Jump +10, Spot +4
*Feats:* Cleave, Great Cleave, Improved Toughness, Power Attack
*Environment:* Warm Forests and Mountains
*Organization:* Solitary
*Challenge Rating:* 7
*Treasure:* None
*Alignment:* Always Neutral
*Advancement:* 11-19 HD (Huge)
*Level Adjustment:* ---

_"Aw crap...the local spiders can break swords now.  Retreeeeaaatt!!"_


This appears to be a huge Wolf Spider with crab pincers. Yet another in a long line of Owlbear knockoffs, it has once again brought shame to the Wizarding community.  As usual with giant, freaky, magically created monsters they got loose and bred like rabbits. Now they haunt forests everywhere and make nuisances of themselves.  Most people believe they're as dumb as any spider, but those who have encountered them swear they giggle when they disarm opponents.

*Poison (Ex):* Injury Fortitude DC 17, Initial and Secondary Damage 1d8 Str. Save DC is Constitution Based.

*Pincer Grab (Ex):* If the Crab Spider succeeds with a Pincer attack it can make either a Grapple, Sunder or Trip attack as a Free Action without provoking an Attack of Opportunity.   If it is performing a Trip and fails, it cannot be Tripped in return as normal.

*Constrict (Ex):* If the Crab Spider succeeds with a Grapple check it does its constriction damage each turn. It may also attempt to attack with it's Bite attack once per turn.

*Combat:* Crab Spiders have an unexpected cunning. Usually they will attempt to just straightforward grapple and constrict, then bite to let the poison finish off prey. If surrounded they will trip up the slower looking targets, or try Sundering weapons.




*Crab Spider*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I ... will be reviewing _another_ Owlbear knockoff?"

*Why Jebus?*

"Fraid so Harlan.  It's proving to be a very popular arcane technique."

"Sigh.  So what does this one do?"

*Snip Snip*

"Well aside from being a simply enormous toxic spider, it has crab pincers."

"Creatures based on  bad puns are always the worst."

"Also I'm told they giggle."

"What?"

"Apparently they have a sense of humor.  Also, the height of Crab Spider humor seems to be breaking things with their pincers."

"We have clearly offended someone in a former life Jim."

----------


## Metastachydium

> *Fairy Shrimp*
> 
> ()
> 
> *Speed:* 20 ft. Swim (4 squares)


Swim speeds are usually not converted into squares, since it's a 3D movement mode.




> *Armor/Class:* 20 (+4 Size, +4 Dex), touch 18, flat-footed 14


Normal AC should be 18, unless I'm missing something.




> *Arctic Fox*
> 
> ()
> 
> *Full Attack:* Bite +10 melee (1d3+1d6 cold)


Shouldn't to hit be +11 (+6 BAB, +2 size, +3 DEX)?




> *Feats:* Alertness, Dodge, Leadership, Weapon Finesse


That's one too many feats. Should I take it that Leadership is B?




> *Typical Cohort:* An Arctic Fox has a Leadership Score of 11, which translates to an 7th Level Cohort (usually a Druid or Barbarian), and six 1st Level followers.


That's not how Leadership works, though. A 6 HD creature can't have a cohort with an ECL above 4.




> *Bullfrog*
> 
> ()
> 
> *Combat:* If an opponent is within range of their tongue Bullfrogs will attempt to grapple and then begin munching. Otherwise they charge, and then proceed to bite.  Either way, they have a single minded fixation on noms.


I'll get past this thing not having a gore attack (though it saddens me), but I'd wager that it'd like a good old Swallow Whole on its chassis.




> *Bullfrog*


(If you'd ever like to outfit these with a Latin binomial name, I'd recommend _Batrachotaurus giganteus_ ('really big frogbull').)




> *Crab Spider*
> 
> ()
> 
> *Pincer Grab (Ex):* If the Crab Spider succeeds with a Pincer attack it can make either a Grapple, Sunder or Trip attack as a Free Action without provoking an Attack of Opportunity.   If *you* are performing a Trip and fail, *you* cannot be Tripped in return as normal.


I think all those _you_s might be a leftover from somewhere.




> *Crab Spider*


(Again, if these'll ever need a binomial name, I'd go with _Lycosa forficata_ ('pincered wolf spider') or _Lycosa ridens_ ('laughing wolf spider').)

----------


## Bhu

> Swim speeds are usually not converted into squares, since it's a 3D movement mode.


  It had no land speed so I listed Swim in it's place.  Most of the rest are typos from my changing Hit Dice from the original entry and missing some stuff.  I have fixed them.

----------


## Bhu

*Beer Pudding*
Large Ooze
*Hit Dice:* 6d10+42 (76 hp)
*Initiative:* -3
*Speed:* 10 ft. (2 squares)
*Armor Class:* 6 (-1 Size, -3 Dex), touch 6, flat-footed 
6
*Base Attack/Grapple:* +4/+10
*Attack:* Slam +5 melee (2d4+2 plus 1d4 acid)
*Full Attack:* Slam +5 melee (2d4+2 plus 1d4 acid)
*Space/Reach:* 10 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:* Improved Grab, Constrict (2d4+2 plus 1d4 acid), Acid
*Special Qualities:* Blindsight 60 ft., Ooze traits, Dude I Smell Beer
*Saves:* Fort +9, Ref -1, Will -3
*Abilities:* Str 14, Dex 5, Con 24, Int -, Wis 1, Cha 1
*Skills:* Disguise +8 (beer only)
*Feats:* -
*Environment:* Underground, and Warm (except Desert)
*Organization:* Solitary 
*Challenge Rating:* 5
*Treasure:* None
*Alignment:* Always Neutral
*Advancement:* 7-9 HD (Large), 10-18 HD (Huge)
*Level Adjustment:* ---

_"Dude...dude I smell beer!"_

Beer Puddings are smaller, warmer weather cousins of the Black Puddings, and smell/look like pools of stout beer.  They live underground, but emerge at night to eat vegetation (although they will take meat when they can get it), ruining grain and corn crops.  As a side effect of their digestion, the symbiotic yeast organisms in their body give off a roasted coffee smell, much like dark stout.  This smell is often the undoing of beer enthusiasts, who end up becoming the Beer Puddings next victim when they go in search of a free brew.  A Beer Pudding is around 8 ft. across, and perhaps 500 pounds.

*Improved Grab (Ex):* If a Beer Pudding hits with it's Slam Attack it may make a Grapple Check as a Free Action without provoking an Attack of Opportunity.  If successful it may Constrict.

*Constrict (Ex):* A Beer Pudding does Slam plus acid damage with a successful Grapple check.

*Acid (Ex):* The creature secretes a digestive acid that dissolves organic material, but does not affect metal or stone. Any melee hit or constrict attack deals 1d4 acid damage, and the opponents armor and clothing dissolve and become useless immediately unless they succeed on DC 20 Reflex saves (unless the armor is metal).  A wooden weapon that strikes a Beer Pudding also dissolves immediately unless it succeeds on a DC 20 Reflex save. The save DCs are Constitution-based.

The puddings acidic touch deals 21 points of damage per round to wooden or organic objects, but the ooze must remain in contact with the object for 1 full round to deal this damage. 

*Dude I Smell Beer! (Ex):* The Pudding has a +13 Racial Bonus to Disguise checks to appear as a pool of stout, leading many creatures to attempt to drink it, allowing it a Grapple Check as a Free Action without provoking an Attack of Opportunity.  They will immediately realize their mistake as soon as they begins taking acid damage, but by then the pudding will have tried to nab them.  

*Combat:* Beer Puddings are similar to most Puddings in that they just charge anything that comes within range of their Blindsight. However. many now lie in wait since they realize some victims will simply walk up to them.



*Beer Pudding*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens, and this is my soon to be inebriated assistant Jim!"

*Is That Beer?*

 "Welcome to Dwarvenhaus!"

"Why are we at a beer hall Harlan?"

"The owners believe it's haunted Jim.  People disappear here, and strange noises are heard at night."

*Avoid Vat Number 12*

"Why is the beer in that vat moving?

"Oh my goodness Jim!  That's an Amoeba (pseudo) cervisiaria, better known as the Beer Pudding!"

"Screw this, I'm out."

----------


## Bhu

*Sage Buzzard*
Medium Magical Beast
*Hit Dice:* 5d10+5 (32 hp)
*Initiative:* +2
*Speed:* 15 ft. (3 squares), Fly 80 ft.(Good)
*Armor Class:* 14 (+2 Dex, +2 Natural), touch 12, flat-footed 12
*Base Attack/Grapple:* +5/+6
*Attack:* Talon +6 melee (1d6+1)
*Full Attack:* 2 Talons +6 melee (1d6+1) and 1 Beak +1 melee (1d6)
*Space/Reach:* 5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:* RAWK!
*Special Qualities:* Low Light Vision, Darkvision 60 ft, Spell Like Abilities, Sage Knowledge, Scent
*Saves:* Fort +5, Ref +6, Will +5
*Abilities:* Str 12, Dex 14, Con 12, Int 18, Wis 18, Cha 18
*Skills:* Bluff +8, Decipher Script +8, Intimidate +8, Knowledge (Arcana, Geography, History, Local, Nature) +8, Listen +8, Move Silently +2, Sense Motive +8, Spot +8, Survival +8
*Feats:* Fly-By Attack, Hover
*Environment:* Warm Desert
*Organization:* Solitary, Pair, or Group (3-6)
*Challenge Rating:* 3
*Treasure:* None
*Alignment:* usually Neutral
*Advancement:* 6-10 HD (Medium)
*Level Adjustment:* ---

_"Will you hurry up and die?  I'd like to eat before I expire of old age."_

Sage Buzzards look more like vultures than buzzards, and are renowned for their knowledge of just about damn near everything.  They're also pretty well known for lurking nearby as people and animals die, waiting to make them a free lunch despite possibly knowing how to save them.  In their defense, food is mighty hard to come by where they live.  But if you have food aplenty to bribe them with, they'll take care of you, and tell you what they know on any subject you care to hear them argue about (nothing is worse than a flock of know it all's). They speak Common, and whatever the local races speak (they have up to 4 additional languages). Their origin is unknown, but it is rumored that in a desert somewhere is the fabled Tower of Bib. Bib's tower is covered in mystical writings that bring Awareness to any animal reading them. The Sage Buzzards scoff at these rumors, and do their best to discourage people from going out in the desert to see if the Tower is real. They're even rumored to eat the stubborn ones who persist in going anyway...

*RAWK! (Su):* Once every 1d4 rounds the Buzzard can unleash an ear splitting screech. Any living creature within 60 ft. must make a DC 16 Willpower Save or be Shaken for 1d6 rounds. Save DC is Charisma Based. If the opponent Saves successfully it is immune to this Buzzard's RAWK! attack for 24 hours.

*Sage Knowledge (Ex):* This is identical to the Bardic Knowledge ability on page 28 of the Players Handbook, but instead of Bard levels the Sage Buzzard uses it's Hit Dice.

*Spell Like Abilities (Sp):* The Sage Buzzard can cast the following spells as Spell Like abilities: At will: Deathwatch, Detect Magic, Detect Poison, Know Direction.  3/day: Death Knell, Delay Poison, Detect Animals or Plants, Hide from Animals, Locate Objects, Speak With Animals, Whispering Wind.  1/day: Clairvoyance, Commune With Nature, Locate Creature, Scrying. Caster level is equal to Hit Dice.

*Combat:* Sage Buzzards aren't great combatants. They usually use their spells to coordinate and arrange little traps for foes. They don't so much fight, as wage a campaign of harassment. Unless they know you're dying. Then it's on.




*Sage Buzzard*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I will be coming to you live from the Broken Wastes, where the local Orc nobles have granted us an audience with their advisers, the Vultur sapiens, known locally as the Sage Buzzards!"

*Wisdom Does Not Preclude Sarcasm*

 "Your naming conventions are specious human."

"Do you have a name you prefer to be called"

"Lord Vultur sapiens."

*Living Libraries*

"We're told you know of many things."

"We do sir.  Perhaps you would be interested in the story of your predecessor, Jim, Mad Barbarian of the North?"

"And that's all the time we have for today folks!"

----------


## Bhu

*Bighorn Sheep*
Medium Magical Beast
*Hit Dice:* 3d10+9 (25 hp)
*Initiative:* +1
*Speed:* 30 ft. ( 6 squares)
*Armor Class:* 15 (+1 Dex, +4 Natural), touch 11, flat-footed 14
*Base Attack/Grapple:* +3/+5
*Attack:* Butt +5 melee (1d8+2)
*Full Attack:* Butt +5 melee (1d8+2)
*Space/Reach:* 5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:* Powerful Charge
*Special Qualities:* Low Light Vision, Darkvision 60
*Saves:* Fort +6, Ref +4, Will +1
*Abilities:* Str 15, Dex 12, Con 17, Int 2, Wis 11, Cha 4
*Skills:* Listen +3, Spot +3
*Feats:* Power Attack, Improved Overrun, Reckless Charge (B)
*Environment:* Temperate Plains, Hills, or Mountains
*Organization:* Solitary or Flock (5-500)
*Challenge Rating:* 2
*Treasure:* None
*Alignment:* Always Neutral
*Advancement:* 4-5 HD (Medium)
*Level Adjustment:* ---

_"Jed?? Can you hear me Jed?? Speak to me!"_

_"I knew jumpin' that sheep was a bad idea..."_

These appear to be mule sized sheep with oversized horns, and bony armor reinforcing their necks and foreheads. They are infamously temperamental, and territorial to a fault. Their origin is unknown, but the local Druids always seem to need to be somewhere else when the subject is brought up.  Many attempts have been made to domesticate them and all have failed.  The locals would love access to the wool as they believe they can make a wonderful lightweight armor from it.  Despite offers of a shiny new silver piece for anyone willing to help domesticate some, the local Rangers have expressed no interest...

*Powerful Charge (Ex):* When charging the Bighorn Sheep's Butt attack does 2d8+4, and it can make a Bull Rush attack as a Free Action without provoking an Attack of Opportunity.  You gain a +4 Bonus on the opposed Strength check.

*Combat:* Bighorn Sheep generally charge into the fray, then repeatedly slam their forehead into opponents until they flee or stop moving.  The rams will fight to the death while the rest of the flock escapes.




*Bighorn Sheep*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim will be trying to wrangle a small flock of Ovis magnicornuta, better known as the Bighorn Sheep!"

*You Aren't The Boss Of Me*

"I'm beginning to lose my respect for Druids Harlan."

"Now Jim, lone hermits in the woods have given us many fascinating wonders to study!"

*Charge!*

"Would that be why I'm trying to 'herd' these things from the back of a T. Rex?"

"We needed a steed the Sheep would respect."

----------


## Metastachydium

> *Beer Pudding*
> 
> ()
> 
> *Skills:* Disguise (beer only)


Should be Disguise (beer only) +8.




> The puddingÂs acidic touch deals 21 points of damage per round to wooden or organic objects, but the ooze must remain in contact with the object for 1 full round to deal this damage.


Why is it necessary to make a distinction between _wooden_ and _organic_?




> Amoeba cervisia


_Cervisia_ is a noun; I'd suggest something like _Amoeba (pseudo)cervisiaria_ ('(false) beermaking amoeba').




> *Sage Buzzard*


Big, nice, smart birdies! I _love_ this one.




> *Feats:* Fly-By Attack, Hover


Huh. I thought creatures with Good maneuverability can hover by default.




> Vultur sapientia () Vultur sapientia.


Should be _Vultur sapiens_.




> *Bighorn Sheep*
> 
> ()
> 
> Ovis magnum


Ovis is a feminine noun and I'd probably recommend _Ovis magnicornuta_ ('sheep with big horns') rather than _O. magna_ anyway.

----------


## Bhu

> Why is it necessary to make a distinction between _wooden_ and _organic_?


  It wasn't, but most Ooze statblocks use that language, so I kept it.





> Huh. I thought creatures with Good maneuverability can hover by default.


  Nope, they gotta have Perfect.

Fixed the rest.

----------


## Bhu

*Fire Beetle*
                      Large Magical Beast (Fire)
*Hit Dice:*             7d10+21 (59 hp)
*Initiative:*           +4
*Speed:*                40 ft. (8 squares)
*Armor Class:*          19 (-1 Size, +10 Natural), touch 9, flat-footed 19
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +7/+17
*Attack:*               Bite +12 melee (2d6+6+1d6 Fire)
*Full Attack:*          Bite +12 melee (2d6+6+1d6 Fire)
*Space/Reach:*          10 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Spew Flame, Burning Touch, Set Fires
*Special Qualities:*    Dark Vision 60 ft.
*Saves:*                Fort +8, Ref +5, Will +4
*Abilities:*            Str 23, Dex 10, Con 17, Int 3, Wis 14, Cha 12
*Skills:*               Listen +7, Spot +7
*Feats:*                Ability Focus (Spew Flame, Set Fires), Improved Initiative
*Environment:*         Any Warm or Underground
*Organization:*         Solitary
*Challenge Rating:*     5
*Treasure:*             Double Gems
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          8-10 HD (Large), 11-21 HD (Huge) 
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

Durin the Dwarf: "This has to be the worst evil minion I've seen yet."
Pooter the Elf: "Well it's a giant bug. I don't know as they're really evil..."
Durin: "Made by an evil mage, so it's an evil minion.  Man, look at it.  Who designs evil minions on spurious puns?"
Pooter: "Most of our opponents actually.  Remember that Pope Fish?"
Durin: "Someone really hasta talk with this guy.  Tell him he needs less lame monsters."
Pooter: "But it just burned a fist size hole in Bob's nether regions."
Bob the Human: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!  !"
Durin: "Which goes to prove it's lameness.  Bob always was a poorly designed character.  6 levels in fighter? Come on!"
Pooter: "I uh..I think we're breaking the fourth wall here..."
Durin: "Screw it.  The writer will take the blame not us."
Pooter: "Your axe is on fire...."
Durin: "Okay, now it simply has to die..."

Fire Beetles are 800 pound beetles that appear to be on fire.  Mostly because they are on fire.  Originally conceived as a neat minion by insect obsessed BBEG's, it's drawbacks have become readily apparent over time.  Specifically, it's on fire.  And it spits fire.  And it likes to set fires.  So unless you have an asbestos castle, you got problems.

*Spew Flame (Su):* The Fire Beetle can spew a 30 ft. Cone of fire once every 1d4 rounds.  This cone does 7d6 Fire damage to anything in it's area (DC 18 Reflex Save for half damage, Save DC is Constitution Based).

*Burning Touch (Su):* The Fire Beetle itself is incredibly hot.  Attacking it with a weapon (or being attacked by it if you're wearing armor) produces an effect similar to the Heat Metal spell.  Each attack extends the duration by 1 round (DC 14 Will Save negates, Save DC is Charisma Based). Attacking the Fire Beetle with an unarmed strike or natural weapons results in 1d6 Fire damage.

*Set Fires (Su):* As a Swift Action, once per round the Fire Beetle may set 1 square within 30 ft. on fire.  Anyone entering the hex takes 1d6 damage, and must make a DC 15 Reflex Save or catch on fire (see page 303 of the DM's Guide).

*Combat:*  Fire Beetles will try to set fire to hexes to control it's opponent avenues of approach if it can.  If not it will Spew Flame as they charge in, and rely on it's mandibles to get the job done.  Opponents who are immune to flame are fled from, as they spook the beetle.  





*Fire Beetle*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim will be trying a new fire-proof suit, and to help him we have provided a Pyrophorus lucifer, better known as the Fire Beetle!"

*Mindless Arsonists*

"Just for my own edification, who designed this suit Harlan."

"The local Gnome Artiificers Union did Jim!"

"So we're trusting _Tinker_ Gnomes now?  Is this what we've come to?"

*Come To Think Of It, What Do They Eat?*

"Hush Jim, Mutual of Gnomeahaw is listening..."

"Good, tell them if this suit turns out to be made o toxic, alchemical fibers I _will_ sue."

"Be careful Jim, the Beetle seems to have noticed you!"

----------


## Bhu

*Bugbear*
                      Large Magical Beast
*Hit Dice:*             8d10+32 (76 hp)
*Initiative:*           +5
*Speed:*                40 ft. (8 squares)
*Armor Class:*          18 (-1 Size, +1 Dex, +8 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 17
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +8/+22
*Attack:*               Claw +17 melee (1d6+10)
*Full Attack:*          2 Claws +17 melee (1d6+10) and 1 Bite +12 melee (1d8+5 plus Poison)
*Space/Reach:*          10 ft./10 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Improved Grab, Poison, Constrict (2d6+20)
*Special Qualities:*    Scent, Dark Vision 60 ft., Immune to Fear, Random Mutation
*Saves:*                Fort +10, Ref +7, Will +2
*Abilities:*            Str 30, Dex 13, Con 19, Int 9, Wis 11, Cha 3
*Skills:*               Climb +10, Intimidate +0, Listen +3, Spot +3
*Feats:*                Cleave, Improved Initiative, Power Attack
*Environment:*          Any Warm or Temperate
*Organization:*         Solitary
*Challenge Rating:*     8
*Treasure:*             Standard
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          9-12 HD (Large), 13-24 HD (Huge)
*Level Adjustment:*     --

_"Abner...ah'm givin' up huntin'..."_

Bugbears are a nightmarish melding of mammal and arthropod.  Their features vary heavily from one generation to the next, with mutations becoming ever more grotesque.  The only constant is that it's usually the size and mass of a brown bear, with a vaguely similar shape.  Spots of fur and chitin wind interchangeably about the body.  The face is a mix of arthropod and mammal, and some arthropod features such as stunted wings or vestigial extra limbs may appear.  Since their appearance many a local mage has fallen victim to a torch wielding mob.


*Improved Grab (Ex):*  If the Bugbear hits with it's Claw attack it may immediately make a Grapple Check as a Free Action without provoking an Attack of Opportunity.  If successful it may Constrict next round.

*Poison (Ex):* Injury, Fortitude DC 18, Initial and Secondary Damage is 1d6 Strength.  Save DC is Constitution based.

*Constrict (Ex):* The Bugbear does 2d6+20 damage with a successful Grapple Check.

*Random Mutation (Ex):*  The Bugbear gets one random mutation from the following list:

Wings: The Bugbear gains a Fly Speed of 25 ft. (Poor)

Heavy Chitin: Natural Armor Bonus increases to +12

Long Claws: Increase the Reach of it's Claw Attacks by +5 ft.

Sensory Hairs: The Bugbear gains Blindsight 40 ft..

Knitting SKin: The Bugbear gains Fast Healing 3.

Horrific: The Bugbear gains Frightful Presence.  Whenever it charges or attacks, any creature with fewer Hit Dice than the Bugbear within 30' must make a DC 14 Willpower Save (Save DC is Charisma Basedm Bugbear gets a +4 Racial Bonus) or be Shaken for 5d6 rounds.  Opponents who successfully make their Save are immune to this Bugbears Frightening Presence for 24 hours.

Spiderlike: The Bugbear may use Spider Climb at will as an Exceptional ability.

Many Eyed: The Bugbear cannot be Flanked.

*Combat:* Bugbears usually rush into melee blindly and begin hacking away.  Some random mutations make them change their tactics though.





*Bugbear*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim will be roaming Bad Critter Forest in search of a cryptid species the locals call Bugbears."

*Horrific Abominations*

"Witness descriptions vary wildly Harlan.  The current prevailing theory is that this is due to their being an artificially created species."

"Another 'blame the Wizards' special is it Jim?"

"Well...this forest does have a reputation."

*Gotta Catch Em All*

"Be careful Jim.  Who knows whats out there."

"Too late Harlan, one of them appears to have grabbed me."

"Darn sneaky buggers they are Jim."

----------


## Bhu

*Figgy Pudding*
Medium Ooze
*Hit Dice:* 3d10+15 (31 hp)
*Initiative:* +0
*Speed:* 10 ft. (2 squares), Climb 10 f.
*Armor Class:* 10, touch 10, flat-footed 10
*Base Attack/ Grapple:* +2/ +3
*Attack:* Slam +3 melee (1d6+1 plus 1d6 acid)
*Full Attack:* Slam +3 melee (1d6+1 plus 1d6 acid)
*Space/ Reach:* 5 ft./ 5 ft.
*Special Attacks:* Constrict 1d6+1 plus 1d6 acid, Improved Grab, Intoxicating Scent, Acid
*Special Qualities:* Blindsight 60 ft., Immune to cold and fire, ooze traits, Addictive Flesh
*Saves:* Fort +6, Ref +1, Will -4
*Abilities:* Str 12, Dex 10, Con 21, Int --, Wis 1, Cha 1
*Skills:* Climb +9
*Feats:* --
*Environment:* Cold Forest and Mountains
*Organization:* Solitary
*Challenge Rating:* 4
*Treasure:* None
*Alignment:* Neutral
*Advancement:* 4-6 HD (Medium), 7-9 HD (Large)
*Level Adjustment:* --


_"MUST...CONSUME...PUDDING..."_

Figgy Puddings look like blobs of some sort of foodlike substance, and smell delicious. They remain underground in hibernation until winter when they come forth to hunt.  It seems unlikely they simply evolved, but no one is willing to take credit for their creation.  Conspiracy theorists say this means it has to be a prank on mankind by the Gawds.  Cruel Gawds, who deserve a buttkicking, were there someone to give them one...

*Improved Grab (Ex):* If the Figgy Pudding hits with it's Slam attack it gets an automatic Grapple check as a Free action without provoking an attack of opportunity. If it is successful it may begin doing Constriction damage each round it maintains the Grapple.

*Constrict (Ex):* On a successful Grapple check the Figgy Pudding does 1d6+1 damage and an additional 1d6 acid damage.

*Intoxicating Scent (Ex):* Anyone within 30 feet of a Figgy Pudding (50 feet if they have Scent) must make a DC 16 Willpower Save (Save DC is Con based) or be consumed by desire to eat the Figgy Pudding. If this happens the Figgy Pudding will split off a small portion of itself (it loses 3 hit points temporarily) and allow it to be consumed. This smaller Figgy Pudding will consume the victim from the inside doing 1d6 points of acid damage per round (beings immune to acid damage will eventually 'evacuate' the pudding) until the victim dies (and it rejoins the larger pudding in devouring the corpse), or a Remove Disease spell kills it (in which case the loss of 3 hit points is permanent for the parent pudding).

*Acid (Ex):*  The creature secretes a digestive acid that dissolves organic material and metal quickly, but does not affect stone. Any melee hit or constrict attack deals acid damage, and the opponents armor and clothing dissolve and become useless immediately unless they succeed on DC 16 Reflex saves. A metal or wooden weapon that strikes a Figgy Pudding also dissolves immediately unless it succeeds on a DC 16 Reflex save. The save DCs are Constitution-based.

The puddings acidic touch deals 21 points of damage per round to wooden or metal objects, but the ooze must remain in contact with the object for 1 full round to deal this damage. 

*Addictive Flesh (Ex):* Anyone tasting the flesh of a Figgy Pudding must make a DC 16 Willpower Save (Save DC is Con based) or become addicted to the taste. Thereafter each week the addict must make a DC 10 Willpower Save or compulsively hunt down and try to eat a Figgy Pudding. DC check raises by +1 each week the Save is successful. If the addict cannot get to a Figgy Pudding within one week after a Failed Save he suffers from Insanity (as per the spell) until cured or he gets a Figgy Pudding.  If using the addiction rules from the Book of Vile Darkness instead, this is a High Addiction rating instead.

*Skills:* A Figgy pudding has a +8 racial bonus on Climb checks and can always choose to take 10 on a Climb check, even if rushed or threatened. 

*Combat:* The Figgy Pudding will let it's Intoxicating Scent do the work for it, and let a potential victim munch away while enveloping it.  Should that fail it will immediately attack the nearest person and attempt to constrict.





*Figgy Pudding*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  On todays show, Jim and I have apparently been captured by a cult!"

*A Yule Tradition*

"Oh, bring us some figgy pudding
Oh, bring us some figgy pudding
Oh, bring us some figgy pudding
And bring it right here!

We wont go until we get some
We wont go until we get some
We wont go until we get some
So bring it right here!"

"Madam, I invite you to explain how I can bring you anything whilst tied to this chair."

"I think they may actually be calling something up from that hole to the Underdark Jim"

*Are You Eating It?  Or Is It Eating You?*

"Great.  So cults have run out of Gawds and begun worshiping oozes now."

"Have you heard of the Amoeba ficaria Jim?  Better known as the Figgy Pudding?  We may be in a spot of trouble."

----------


## Metastachydium

> *Fire Beetle*
> 
> ()
> 
> *Skills:*               Listen +5, Spot +5


Witha WIS score of 14, the beetle should still have 4 unspent skill points.




> *Set Fires (Su):* As a Swift Action, once per round the Fire Beetle may set 1 square within 30 ft. on fire.  Anyone entering the hex takes 1d6 damage, and must make a DC 15 Reflex Save or catch on fire (see page 303 of the DM's Guide).


Is this a DC based on no ability?




> *Bugbear*


This is so much better than that stupid oversized goblin with a weird nose! The random mutations are also a very nice touch. Fun stuff all around.




> *Skills:*               Climb +10, Intimidate +6, Listen +6, Spot +6


I see 21 skill points spent which is more than the bear should have in the first place. Am I missing some racial bonuses?




> *Figgy Pudding*
> 
> ()
> 
> *Skills:* Climb +13


The skills strike again! I see no climb speed and no racial bonus. It shouldn't even _have_ skills, being mindless and all that!




> Amoeba ficus


The correct form would be _Amoeba ficaria_.

----------


## Bhu

> Witha WIS score of 14, the beetle should still have 4 unspent skill points.


My bad, I forgot to adjust when I downsized a few of these in HD, and I forgot the Puddings climb speed.  I have fixed.






> Is this a DC based on no ability


  Yup, it's the standard DC to avoid catching fire, it's why I put up a reference page to the DMG.






> The correct form would be _Amoeba ficaria_.


Google has just not been my friend when it comes to searching for terms in Latin.  Thank you for these.

----------


## Bhu

*Main Lobster*
                      Large Vermin (Amphibious, Aquatic)
*Hit Dice:*             6d8+12 (39 hp)
*Initiative:*           +0
*Speed:*                30 ft. (6 squares), Swim 60 ft.
*Armor Class:*          18 (-1 Size, +9 Natural), touch 9, flat-footed 18
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +4/+13
*Attack:*               Pincer +8 melee (1d8+5)
*Full Attack:*          2 Pincers +8 melee (1d8+5)
*Space/Reach:*          10 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*   Improved Grab, Constrict (1d8+10), Territorial
*Special Qualities:*    Dark Vision 60 ft., Mindless, Vermin Traits, Blindsense 60 ft.
*Saves:*                Fort +7, Ref +2, Will +3
*Abilities:*            Str 20, Dex 11, Con 14, Int -, Wis 12, Cha 2
*Skills:*                Swim +13
*Feats:*                -
*Environment:*          Any Aquatic
*Organization:*         Solitary
*Challenge Rating:*     3
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          7-12 HD (Large), 13-24 HD (Huge)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_"Awright! Been a long time since we been crawfishin'!"_

_"Um...these ain't exactly crawdads Abner..."_

Main Lobsters are gigantic lobsters that are almost psychotically obsessive about protecting their personal space.  Which is a small area of about 600 ft. centered on their current position.  Anything entering that area gets attacked suicidally until it dies, no matter how big or small.   Druids who have studied them refer to these lobsters as 'paragons of ego'.  No one has yet to figure out how mindless vermin cam to be so self-absorbed.

*Improved Grab (Ex)*: If the Main Lobster successfully hits a creature of any size with it's Claw attack it may immediately make a Grapple Check as a Free Action without provoking an Attack of Opportunity.  If it is successful it may constrict.

*Constrict (Ex)*: A Main Lobster does 1d8+10 damage with a successful Grapple Check.

*Territorial (Ex)*: Once any living being gets within 600' of the Lobster, the Lobster goes into a homicidal fury and attacks, gaining a +2 Racial Bonus on all attack and damage rolls and saving throws for the duration of the encounter.

*Blindsense (Ex)*: The Main Lobster can sense all beings within 60 ft. as long as it is underwater.

*Skills:* A Maiin Lobster has a +8 racial bonus on any Swim check to perform some special action or avoid a hazard. It can always choose to take 10 on a Swim check, even if distracted or endangered. It can use the run action while swimming, provided it swims in a straight line. 

*Combat*: Main Lobsters tend to rush forward and go straight for the claw attack almost mindlessly, regardless of what they are facing.  It's amazing their species lives to reproduce.





*Main Lobster*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim will be using this magical item that allows communication with the lower life forms to interview a Homarus regium.  Better known as the Main Lobster."

*Territorial To A Fault*

"Your classism is showing Harlan."

"See if the item works Jim, we're all very curious."

"Ahem...good evening sir Lobster, can you understand me?"

"GIT OFF'N MAH LAND!"

"We're in an ocean..."

"GIT OUTTA MAH OCEAN!"

*Single Minded To A Fault*

"He seems very aggressive Jim."

"We're only here long enough to interview you sir."

"I NEED NO INTERVIEWS, FOR ALL KNOW MY NAME!  I AM THE MAIN MAN...er, Lobster."

"And there you have it Harlan.  Apparently testosterone poisoning affects Lobsters as well.

----------


## Bhu

*Ram*
                      Medium Magical Beast
*Hit Dice:*             9d10+27 (76 hp)
*Initiative:*           +6
*Speed:*                50 ft. (10 squares)
*Armor Class:*          18 (+2 Dex, +6 Natural), touch 12, flat-footed 16
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +9/+12
*Attack:*               Head Butt +12 melee (2d4+4)
*Full Attack:*          Head Butt +12 melee (2d4+4)
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Ram
*Special Qualities:*    Darkvision 60 ft., Burst of Speed
*Saves:*                Fort +9, Ref +8, Will +5
*Abilities:*            Str 16, Dex 15, Con 16, Int 5, Wis 15, Cha 10
*Skills:*               Listen +8, Spot +8
*Feats:*                Greater Powerful Charge, Improved Initiative, Powerful Charge, Reckless Charge
*Environment:*          Temperate Hills
*Organization:*         Solitary or Flock (6-20)
*Challenge Rating:*     5
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          10-18 HD (Medium)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_"Whats wrong Bert?  It's just sheep."_

_"Abner...the time has come to tell you why I don't like sheep.  Just as soon as we climb that tree."_

Rams are magically enhanced domestic sheep.  They were meant to look like harmless sheep on purpose.  In reality they have incredibly powerful legs that can propel them at tremendous speeds.  They are also stubborn, easily excited, and virtually untrainable.  Worthless as livestock, as they are too hard to control, they make good guards if you can buy their loyalty.  Exactly why they were made is anyone's guess, as it's assumed the territorial little monsters killed their creator not long after being made.  They do make the lives of local farmers more interesting though.

*Ram (Ex)*: The Ram adds an additional 1d4 damage to it's head butt attack for every 10 ft. it moves while attacking during a charge (maximum of +10d4).  

*Burst of Speed (Ex)*: The Ram can increase it's land speed to 100 ft every 1d4 rounds, but only if it moves in a straight line.

*Combat*: Rams open with a charge before running away.  So they can charge again.  They love whacking people with their head from long distances.  They especially love ramming into unaware people.



*Ram*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim will...wait this looks familiar, didn't we do these already?"

*Never Turn Your Back*

"No sir.  Those were Bighorn Sheep, these are Rams.  Entirely different creators.  Allegedly."

"Now that you mention it, they aren't as big."

"They're just as vicious though.  Maybe even more so."


*High Speed Terrors*

"How are they special Jim?"

"Apparently their heads are nigh well invulnerable, and they are stupefyingly fast.  Bad combination."

----------


## Bhu

*Bore*
                      Medium Magical Beast
*Hit Dice:*             13d10+39 (110 hp)
*Initiative:*           +0
*Speed:*                40 ft. (8 squares)
*Armor Class:*          18 (+8 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 18
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +13/+15
*Attack:*               Gore +15 melee (1d8+3)
*Full Attack:*          Gore +15 melee (1d8+3)
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Aura of Boredom
*Special Qualities:*    Darkvision 60 ft., Scent
*Saves:*                Fort +11, Ref +8, Will +8
*Abilities:*            Str 15, Dex 10, Con 17, Int 5, Wis 15, Cha 12
*Skills:*               Listen +12, Spot +12
*Feats:*                Ability Focus (Aura of Boredom), Alertness, Diehard, Endurance, Iron Will
*Environment:*         Temperate Forests
*Organization:*         Solitary or Herd (5-8)
*Challenge Rating:*     8
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          14-20 HD (Medium), 21-26 HD (Large)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_"Y'know Bert we should prolly shoot that pig down there."_

_"Ayuh."_

_"Somehow I just don't feel like it though."_

_"Ayuh."_

_"Good thing he ain't goin' anywhere."_


Bores appear as domesticated hogs wearing a facial expression of terminal apathy.  Terminal for you anyway.  If you're within range of their Aura, there's bad times a'comin' for you, as they aren't picky about what they eat, and their Aura is how they supplement their diet in lean times as they simply wander over and begin to eat apathetic victims.  Thnkfully communities make sure to  kee them fed.

No appreciable explanation has been given for their existence, but it is notable that many farmers with serious magical abilities use them as 'pets' (i.e. evil minions).  Not that there are many farming Wizards...

*Aura of Boredom (Su)*: Anything within 60' of the Bore must make a DC 19 Willpower Save (Save DC is Charisma Based) or begin to suffer from terminal boredom (opponents who Save successfully are immune to this Bores Aura for 24 hours).  Anyone failing the Save must make another Willpower Save (same DC, +1 cumulative for each round within range of the Bores Aura) to perform any Full Round or Standard Action, or anything requiring a Concentration check.  It must also Save if it wishes to use any class abilities based on emotions (for example Rage, Frenzy, or Wild Surge).  Crushing apathy also causes victims to lose their Dexterity Bonus to Armor Class as long as they're under the effect of this ability.  The effects of the Aura last as long as the Bore is within range.  This is a Mind-Affecting Compulsion.

*Combat*:  Bores tend to flee if opponents prove unaffected by their Aura unless they're fairly hungry.  If victims are affected however they just kind of wander over trying to appear curious, and then begin devouring their unsuspecting prey.



*Bore*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim will be testing his will against Sus taediosus, also known as the Bore."

*What Does It Even Matter*

"..."

"Jim?  Jim, are you in there?"

"What are we even doing here Harlan?"


*Swirling Vortexes of Hunger*

"Jim...maybe you'd better move Jim..."

"Moving is pointless.  If I start too move, I'll just have to keep moving."

"Can we get some help for Jim?"

----------


## Bhu

*Ghost Frog*
                      Diminutive Undead (Incorporeal)
*Hit Dice:*             1d12 (6 hp)
*Initiative:*           +2
*Speed:*                Fly 10 ft. (2 squares), Perfect
*Armor Class:*          17 (+4 Size, +2 Dex, +1 Deflection), touch 17, flat-footed 15
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +0/-
*Attack:*               Nervously hesitant touch +6 melee touch (1d4 negative energy damage)
*Full Attack:*          Nervously hesitant touch +6 melee touch (1d4 negative energy damage)
*Space/Reach:*          1/2 ft./0 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Corrupting Touch, Abnormally Loud Ribbit
*Special Qualities:*    Darkvision 60 ft., Undead traits, Incorporeal traits, Manifestation, Rejuvenation, Sense Living 60 ft.
*Saves:*                Fort +0, Ref +2, Will +3
*Abilities:*            Str -, Dex 14, Con -, Int 6, Wis 12, Cha 10
*Skills:*               Hide +22, Listen +4, Move Silently +10, Search +2, Spot +10                                                                               
*Feats:*                Ability Focus (Abnormally Loud Ribbit), Weapon Finesse (B)
*Environment:*          Warm Aquatic
*Organization:*         Solitary
*Challenge Rating:*     1
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral Evil
*Advancement:*          2 HD (Tiny)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_"Bert...does that frawg look a little...unusual to you?"_

_"That's cause hes daid Abner."_

Ghost Frogs haunt jungle rivers, hiding in the shallows and scaring the crap out of people by ribbiting suddenly in an abnormally loud voice.  No ones quite sure how they come about, and assume some sort of weird curse or an easily pissed off Gawd are responsible.  Oddly enough for once no one is blaming a Wizard.

*Corrupting Touch (Su)*: The Ghost Frogs nervously hesitant touch attack does 1d4 negative energy damage.

*Abnormally Loud Ribbit (Su)*: Once every 1d4 rounds or so, the Ghost Frog will Ribbit.  Unless it senses the living approaching, when it will remain quiet until they are close by before letting rip.  Any creature within 10' of the Ghost Frog as it Ribbits must make a DC 12 Willpower Save (Save DC is Charisma Based) or be Panicked for 1 round, and Shaken for 1 round more.

*Manifestation (Su)*:  Every ghost has this ability. A ghost dwells on the Ethereal Plane and, as an ethereal creature, it cannot affect or be affected by anything in the material world. When a ghost manifests, it partly enters the Material Plane and becomes visible but incorporeal on the Material Plane. A manifested ghost can be harmed only by other incorporeal creatures, magic weapons, or spells, with a 50% chance to ignore any damage from a corporeal source. A manifested ghost can pass through solid objects at will, and its own attacks pass through armor. A manifested ghost always moves silently. A manifested ghost can strike with its touch attack or with a ghost touch weapon (see Ghostly Equipment, below). A manifested ghost remains partially on the Ethereal Plane, where is it not incorporeal. A manifested ghost can be attacked by opponents on either the Material Plane or the Ethereal Plane. The ghosts incorporeality helps protect it from foes on the Material Plane, but not from foes on the Ethereal Plane.

When a spellcasting ghost is not manifested and is on the Ethereal Plane, its spells cannot affect targets on the Material Plane, but they work normally against ethereal targets. When a spellcasting ghost manifests, its spells continue to affect ethereal targets and can affect targets on the Material Plane normally unless the spells rely on touch. A manifested ghosts touch spells dont work on nonethereal targets.

A ghost has two home planes, the Material Plane and the Ethereal Plane. It is not considered extraplanar when on either of these planes. 

*Rejuvenation (Su)*: In most cases, its difficult to destroy a ghost through simple combat: The "destroyed" spirit will often restore itself in 2d4 days. Even the most powerful spells are usually only temporary solutions. A ghost that would otherwise be destroyed returns to its old haunts with a successful level check (1d20 + ghosts HD) against DC 16. As a rule, the only way to get rid of a ghost for sure is to determine the reason for its existence and set right whatever prevents it from resting in peace. The exact means varies with each spirit and may require a good deal of research.

*Sense Living (Su)*: Identical to the Blindsight Ability, but only senses living creatures.

*Skills*: +8 Racial Bonus to Hide, Move Silently, and Spot checks. 

*Combat*: Ghost Frogs rarely realize they're dead, and so rarely attack the living by any means other than accident.  Their abnormally loud ribbits usually scare people badly enough that they get attacked, at which time something inside them snaps and they feel compelled to defend themselves.  They also noticeably dislike Clerics, staying well back out of their range if possible, then sneaking up when the priest is asleep to ribbit next to his head.


*Ghost Frog Swarm*
                      Diminutive Undead (Incorporeal, Swarm)
*Hit Dice:*             12d10 (66 hp)
*Initiative:*           +6
*Speed:*                Fly 10 ft. (2 squares), Perfect
*Armor Class:*          17 (+4 Size, +2 Dex, +1 Deflection), touch 17, flat-footed 15
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +6/-
*Attack:*               Swarm (3d6 negative energy damage)
*Full Attack:*          Swarm (3d6 negative energy damage)
*Space/Reach:*          10 ft./0 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Corrupting Touch, Abnormally Loud Ribbit, Distraction
*Special Qualities:*    Darkvision 60 ft., Undead traits, Incorporeal traits, Swarm traits, Manifestation, Rejuvenation, Sense Living 60 ft., Immune to Weapon Damage, +2 Turn Resistance
*Saves:*                Fort +4, Ref +8, Will +11
*Abilities:*            Str -, Dex 14, Con -, Int 6, Wis 12, Cha 10
*Skills:*               Hide +22, Listen +13, Move Silently +13, Search +12, Spot +14
*Feats:*                Ability Focus (Abnormally Loud Ribbit), Improved Initiative, Iron Will, Lightning Reflexes
*Environment:*          Warm Aquatic
*Organization:*         Solitary, fright (2-4 swarms), or terror (5-8 swarms)
*Challenge Rating:*    8
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral Evil
*Advancement:*          None
*Level Adjustment:*     ---


*Corrupting Touch (Su)*: The Ghost Frogs swarm attack does 3d6 negative energy damage.

*Abnormally Loud Ribbit (Su)*: Once every 1d4 rounds or so, the Ghost Frogs will Ribbit.  Unless they sense the living approaching, when they will remain quiet until the targets are close by before letting rip.  Any creature within 20 feet of the Ghost Frog Swarm as it Ribbits must make a DC 18 Willpower Save (Save DC is Charisma Based) or be Panicked for 1 round, and Shaken for 1 round more.

*Manifestation (Su)*:  Every ghost has this ability. A ghost dwells on the Ethereal Plane and, as an ethereal creature, it cannot affect or be affected by anything in the material world. When a ghost manifests, it partly enters the Material Plane and becomes visible but incorporeal on the Material Plane. A manifested ghost can be harmed only by other incorporeal creatures, magic weapons, or spells, with a 50% chance to ignore any damage from a corporeal source. A manifested ghost can pass through solid objects at will, and its own attacks pass through armor. A manifested ghost always moves silently. A manifested ghost can strike with its touch attack or with a ghost touch weapon (see Ghostly Equipment, below). A manifested ghost remains partially on the Ethereal Plane, where is it not incorporeal. A manifested ghost can be attacked by opponents on either the Material Plane or the Ethereal Plane. The ghosts incorporeality helps protect it from foes on the Material Plane, but not from foes on the Ethereal Plane.

When a spellcasting ghost is not manifested and is on the Ethereal Plane, its spells cannot affect targets on the Material Plane, but they work normally against ethereal targets. When a spellcasting ghost manifests, its spells continue to affect ethereal targets and can affect targets on the Material Plane normally unless the spells rely on touch. A manifested ghosts touch spells dont work on nonethereal targets.

A ghost has two home planes, the Material Plane and the Ethereal Plane. It is not considered extraplanar when on either of these planes. 

*Rejuvenation (Su)*: In most cases, its difficult to destroy a ghost through simple combat: The "destroyed" spirit will often restore itself in 2d4 days. Even the most powerful spells are usually only temporary solutions. A ghost that would otherwise be destroyed returns to its old haunts with a successful level check (1d20 + ghosts HD) against DC 16. As a rule, the only way to get rid of a ghost for sure is to determine the reason for its existence and set right whatever prevents it from resting in peace. The exact means varies with each spirit and may require a good deal of research.

*Sense Living (Su)*: Identical to the Blindsight Ability, but only senses living creatures.

*Skills*: +8 Racial Bonus to Hide, Move Silently, and Spot checks. 

*Combat*: Swarms behave much like lone Ghost Frogs, but they're a little more frisky due to greater numbers.






*Ghost Frog*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim will be examining the strange case of the Heleophryne depressa, aka  the Ghost Frog."

*Dead Frogs?*

"Greetings from the festering Hellscape that is Florida!  I'm standing next to Itchy Butt Pond, looking at what are apparently dead frogs who are regarding me with nervous intent"

"Can you try speaking to them?"

"The item lets me speak to Beasts, not the Undead."


*Prankish Amhibians*

"Have they displayed any unusual abilities?"

"Well, they like scaring people."

"Don't all ghosts like scaring people?"

"They also appear capable of reproducing."

"What?"

"The local ghosts study them, in hopes of one day having children of their own."

"What?"

----------


## Bhu

*Bafoon*
                      Medium Magical Beast
*Hit Dice:*             5d10+5 (32 hp)
*Initiative:*           +6 
*Speed:*                40 ft. (8 squares), Climb 30 ft.
*Armor Class:*          15 (+2 Dex, +3 Natural), touch 12, flat-footed 13
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +5/+7
*Attack:*               Bite +7 melee (1d6+2)
*Full Attack:*          Bite +7 melee (1d6+2)
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Riddle
*Special Qualities:*    Darkvision 60 ft., Scent
*Saves:*                Fort +5, Ref +6, Will +3
*Abilities:*            Str 15, Dex 14, Con 12, Int 14, Wis 14, Cha 14
*Skills:*               Bluff +7, Climb +10, Hide +7, Intimidate +7, Listen +7, Move Silently +7, Sense Motive +6, Spot +6
*Feats:*                Ability Focus (Riddle), Improved Initiative
*Environment:*          Warm Plains
*Organization:*         Solitary, Pair, or Troop (10-40)
*Challenge Rating:*     4
*Treasure:*             Standard
*Alignment:*            Always Chaotic Neutral
*Advancement:*          6-10 HD (Medium)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---


_"What do you call a zipper on a banana?"_

_"Monkeys gotta die Bert."_

_"Now Abner..."_

_"Don't now me.  That monkeys evil.  The zipper reference was a dead give away."_

Bafoons are enchanted Baboons that can speak Common, and know a seemingly endless supply of riddles.  Unfortunately the consequences of trying to answer their riddles and failing is not what most people would consider acceptable.  They also happen to be thieving bastards and will quite willingly rob a party blind of food and shiny objects.  It's assumed, as usual, that a mage is responsible for their creation.  Although God knows what for, as they make sucky guards, and have nothing in the way of loyalty to anyone.

*Riddle (Su)*: The Bafoon is adept at cursing people, and it disguises this as a riddle.  They have successfully convinced the locals that anyone failing to answer a Bafoons riddle is cursed.  In reality the Bafoon can curse people at will as a Supernatural Ability.  The Bafoon may choose to mimic the effects of one of the following spells when cursing an individual if they fail a DC 16 Will Save: Bestow Curse, Confusion, Contagion, or Crushing Despair.

*Skills*: Bafoons get a +8 Racial Bonus to Climb Checks, and may Always Take 10 on a Climb Check.

*Combat*: Bafoons prefer to use their Riddles at first, running for help if a party seems tough.  After all it's easier to take murderhobos on when you have a few dozen friends willing to help.





*Bafoon*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim will be attempting an interview with a strange Baboon-like creature the locals claim can curse you with riddles."

*What Opens Itself?*

"I question the wisdom of this Harlan."

"No worries Jim!  Mutual of Gnomeahaw covers curses and necromantic effects."

"Are you sure this is just a regular Baboon Harlan?"


*Temperamental*

"He hasn't spoken?"

"No.  No he's mostly just been staring."

"Have you tried speaking?"

"I should have mentioned he's been staring with his teeth bared."

"What.  Do You Call.  A Zipper.  On A Banana?"

"Well clearly he's angry Jim.  Listen to the way he over enunciates."

----------


## Metastachydium

> *Main Lobster*


Is the 3.5 version amphibious?




> Homarus regium


That's perfectly grammatical and sounds badass! It also means 'the lobster of kings', though; is that intentional?




> *Ram*
> 
> ()
> 
> *Ram (Ex)*: The Ram adds an additional 1d4 damage to it's head butt attack for every 10 ft. it moves while attacking during a charge (maximum of +10d4).


Well, damn. A +16 to hit dealing up to 12d4+2d6+4 damage. That's one hard punch to shrug off for a level 5 PC!




> *Bore*
> 
> ()
> 
> *Aura of Boredom (Su)*: Anything within 60' of the Bore must make a DC 19 Willpower Save (Save DC is Charisma Based) or begin to suffer from terminal boredom (opponents who Save successfully are immune to this Bores Aura for 24 hours).  Anyone failing the Save must make another Willpower Save (same DC, +1 cumulative for each round within range of the Bores Aura) to perform any Full Round or Standard Action, or anything requiring a Concentration check.  It must also Save if it wishes to use any class abilities based on emotions (for example Rage, Frenzy, or Wild Surge).  Crushing apathy also causes victims to lose their Dexterity Bonus to Armor Class as long as they're under the effect of this ability.  The effects of the Aura last as long as the Bore is within range.  This is a Mind-Affecting Compulsion.


Sweet! I like it.




> Sus taedium


More like _Sus taediosus_. _Boredom pig_ is perfectly good English, of course, but in Latin the adjective would be the better pick.




> *Ghost Frog*
>                       Diminutive Undead (Incorporeal)
> *Hit Dice:*             1d12 (6 hp)
> *Initiative:*           +2
> *Speed:*                Fly 10 ft. (2 squares), Perfect


I don't think flight speeds are ever measured in squares, regardless whether there are other movement speeds or not.




> *Attack:*               Nervously hesitant touch +6 melee touch (1d4 negative energy damage)
> 
> ()
> 
> *Special Attacks:*      Corrupting Touch


So, what's this ability actually called?




> *Skills:*               Hide +20, Listen +4, Move Silently +10, Spot +10      
> 
> ()                                                                         
> 
> *Skills*: +8 Racial Bonus to Hide, Move Silently, and Spot checks.


Hide should be +22 (+2 DEX, +8 racial, +12 size). With 4 skill points per level and only a -2 for INT, it should also have 4 more skill points to spend.




> *Manifestation (Su)*:  Every ghost has this ability. A ghost dwells on the Ethereal Plane and, as an ethereal creature, it cannot affect or be affected by anything in the material world. When a ghost manifests, it partly enters the Material Plane and becomes visible but incorporeal on the Material Plane. A manifested ghost can be harmed only by other incorporeal creatures, magic weapons, or spells, with a 50% chance to ignore any damage from a corporeal source. A manifested ghost can pass through solid objects at will, and its own attacks pass through armor. A manifested ghost always moves silently. A manifested ghost can strike with its touch attack or with a ghost touch weapon (see Ghostly Equipment, below). A manifested ghost remains partially on the Ethereal Plane, where is it not incorporeal. A manifested ghost can be attacked by opponents on either the Material Plane or the Ethereal Plane. The ghostÂs incorporeality helps protect it from foes on the Material Plane, but not from foes on the Ethereal Plane.
> 
> When a spellcasting ghost is not manifested and is on the Ethereal Plane, its spells cannot affect targets on the Material Plane, but they work normally against ethereal targets. When a spellcasting ghost manifests, its spells continue to affect ethereal targets and can affect targets on the Material Plane normally unless the spells rely on touch. A manifested ghostÂs touch spells donÂt work on nonethereal targets.
> 
> A ghost has two home planes, the Material Plane and the Ethereal Plane. It is not considered extraplanar when on either of these planes. 
> 
> *Rejuvenation (Su)*: In most cases, itÂs difficult to destroy a ghost through simple combat: The "destroyed" spirit will often restore itself in 2d4 days. Even the most powerful spells are usually only temporary solutions. A ghost that would otherwise be destroyed returns to its old haunts with a successful level check (1d20 + ghostÂs HD) against DC 16. As a rule, the only way to get rid of a ghost for sure is to determine the reason for its existence and set right whatever prevents it from resting in peace. The exact means varies with each spirit and may require a good deal of research.


"Ghost" should read "ghost frog" throughout. Same stands for the swarm.




> Heleophryne depressa


A nice one again, but I'm not sure it's a good fit. _Depressa_ can mean a lot of things ('low', 'flattened (both lit. and fig.)' and worse yet, 'muffled').  What were you intending to convey?

----------


## Bhu

> Is the 3.5 version amphibious?


  Yes, I've fixed that.






> That's perfectly grammatical and sounds badass! It also means 'the lobster of kings', though; is that intentional?


 yup






> Well, damn. A +16 to hit dealing up to 12d4+2d6+4 damage. That's one hard punch to shrug off for a level 5 PC!


  That's  true, though the likelihood of a Ram being able to use it's special attack at full speed is small seeing as it needs to move in a straight line.  I need to decide on how to limit it tho.  Maybe switch out some feats and do something to the ram if it does use the attack at full speed.






> More like _Sus taediosus_. _Boredom pig_ is perfectly good English, of course, but in Latin the adjective would be the better pick.


 I switched it.






> I don't think flight speeds are ever measured in squares, regardless whether there are other movement speeds or not.


 If a critter has no land speed I always use that fr whatever speed it does have.






> So, what's this ability actually called?
> 
> Hide should be +22 (+2 DEX, +8 racial, +12 size). With 4 skill points per level and only a -2 for INT, it should also have 4 more skill points to spend.
> 
> A nice one again, but I'm not sure it's a good fit. _Depressa_ can mean a lot of things ('low', 'flattened (both lit. and fig.)' and worse yet, 'muffled').  What were you intending to convey?


I fixed the touch entry and the skills (I misremembered how many skills Undead get ).  Heleophryne depressa is the name for the actual real life ghost frog.

----------


## Bhu

*Pack Mouse*
                      Diminutive Magical Beast
*Hit Dice:*             1/2d10+1 (3 hp)
*Initiative:*           +4
*Speed:*                10 ft. (2 squares), Climb 10 ft.
*Armor Class:*          18 (+4 Size, +4 Dex), touch 18, flat-footed 14
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +1/-16
*Attack:*               Bite +9 melee (1 point)
*Full Attack:*          Bite +9 melee (1 point)
*Space/Reach:*          1/2 ft./0 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      -
*Special Qualities:*    Low Light Vision, Darkvision 60 ft., Scent, Shadow Cache
*Saves:*                Fort +3, Ref +6, Will +2
*Abilities:*            Str 1, Dex 18, Con 12, Int 6, Wis 14, Cha 14
*Skills:*               Balance +12, Climb +12, Hide +20, Listen +4, Move Silently +8, Spot +4
*Feats:*                Weapon Finesse
*Environment:*          Any
*Organization:*         Solitary, Pair, Group (3-6), Colony (10-100)
*Challenge Rating:*     1/4
*Treasure:*             Standard
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          1 HD (Diminutive)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_"AWRIGHT YOU FURRY LIL MONSTERS WHERE'S OUR STUFF!"_

_"Uhh...Abner I don't think the critters speak Common much less understand it.."_

_"THE HELL THEY DON'T!"_

Pack Mice are small mouse-like critters who steal whatever isn't nailed down and hide it in an extra-dimensional pocket space.  They are considered an unholy nuisance since they take food and necessary items, and hide them where they basically can't be found.  They appear to be more intelligent than animals, and some whisper that the Pack Mice have their own secret language and they just pretend to be dumb around us big folk.

*Shadow Cache (Su)*: Pack Mice can cast Shadow Cache at will.  Caster Level is 4th, and if the Mouse dies the Cache ejects it's contents back onto the Plane of origin.  Unlike the spell this does not deposit items on the Shadow Plane, but onto a small pocket dimension created by the Mouse.

*Skills*:  Pack Mice gain a +4 Racial Bonus to Hide and Move Silently Checks.  They also gain a +8 Racial Bonus to Balance and Climb Checks, and may always Take 10 on a Climb Check.  They use their Dex modifier for Climb Checks.

*Combat*: Pack Mice don't fight, they run away.  After stealing you blind.  Then they come back after you've calmed down, and rob you again.  Sometimes they pee on you while you're sleeping.  Unless you're a mage get used to it, cause the little boogers are hard to pin down.



*Pack Mouse*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I will be attempting to ascertain just how intelligent Apodemus ruptor is, better known as the common Pack Mouse.

*Burgling Rodents*

"As will be commonly known to our viewing audience, Pack Mice steal food and other items and conceal them within the Shadowfell.."

"Do we believe they came by this naturally, or are they merely another magical experiment?."

"All scholarly work points towards them having evolved Harlan."


*Furballs of the Shadowfell*

"Strange.  How go the experiments?"

"So far they've stolen everything we meant to test them with.  We were going to bribe them with food to get it back, but they've stolen the food.   All I've got left is the shirt on my back. Literally.  They have somehow stolen my pants."


*Shadow Cache*
_3rd Level Conjuration (Ritual)_
*Casting Time:* 1 Action
*Range:* Touch
*Components:* V, S
*Duration:* 1 Hour
You can temporarily stash small items on the Shadowfell or permanently dispose of them there.
This spell opens a small portal to the Plane of Shadow that is invisible on the Material Plane and a small disk on the Plane of Shadow. You can reach into the Shadowfell through the portal created by shadow cache, but only small, nonliving objects may pass entirely through the hole.  You can recover objects placed in the portal throughout the duration of the spell, or by casting another shadow cache later.  The shadow cache remains stationary at the point where you create it.  The spell cannot be cast on the Shadowfell itself, but only on planes coexistent with the Shadowfell.

----------


## Bhu

*Stout Stoat* aka the Fat Ferret aka the Weighty Weasel
                      Tiny Magical Beast
*Hit Dice:*             2d10+4 (15 hp)
*Initiative:*           +2
*Speed:*                20 ft. (4 squares)
*Armor Class:*          16 (+2 Size, +2 Dex, +2 Natural), touch 14, flat-footed 14
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +2/-6 (+6 when using Weight Manipulation)
*Attack:*               Bite +6 melee (1d3)
*Full Attack:*          Bite +6 melee (1d3)
*Space/Reach:*          2 1/2 ft./0 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Attach, Bloat
*Special Qualities:*    Darkvision 60 ft., Low Light Vision, Scent, Weight Manipulation
*Saves:*                Fort +5, Ref +5, Will +2
*Abilities:*            Str 10, Dex 15, Con 14, Int 6, Wis 14, Cha 15
*Skills:*               Climb +4, Hide +7, Listen +4, Move Silently +2, Spot +4
*Feats:*                Weapon Finesse
*Environment:*          Temperate Hills and Forests
*Organization:*         Solitary
*Challenge Rating:*     1
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          3-4 HD (Small)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_The local critters look damn well fed Abner..."_

These magically evolved (enhanced?) furballs seem somehow able to increase the weight of themselves or others.  It makes for an excellent defense, and enables the pudgy lil critters to chase down those darn chikins...  True to their name, they resemble pudgy members of the mustelid family.

*Attach (Ex):*  If a Stoat hits with it's bite attack, it uses its jaws to latch onto the opponents body. An attached Stoat is effectively grappling its prey. The Stoat loses its Dexterity bonus to AC and has an AC of 14, but holds on with great tenacity. 

An attached Stoat can be struck with a weapon or grappled itself. To remove an attached Stoat through grappling, the opponent must achieve a pin against the Stoat. 

*Bloat (Su)*: At will as a Swift Action the Stout Stoat can increase an opponents body weight by 1000 pounds (range is 60 ft.) if the opponent fails a DC 13 Willpower Save (Save DC is Charisma based).  This weight adds to the opponents Encumbrance and may well cause penalties similar to carrying extreme loads (see PHB page 161). If this raises the targets weight above it's Maximum Load (see PHB), the target loses any Dexterity bonus to AC and can move only 5 feet per round (as a full-round action). If the targets new weight exceeds double it's Maximum Load, it is Paralyzed, and takes 1d6 non-lethal damage per round.  The Stoat may keep this up so long as it can Concentrate (similar to casting a spell with the Concentration Duration), up to a maximum of 1 Minute.

*Weight Manipulation (Su)*: At will as a Swift Action the Stout Stoat can increase it's own body weight to roughly 1000 pounds.  
Whenever a Stoat is subject to a size modifier or special size modifier for an opposed check (such as during grapple checks, bull rush attempts, and trip attempts), the Stoat is treated as Size Category Large if doing so is advantageous to it.  The benefits of this stack with the effects of powers, abilities, and spells that change the Stoats size category.  The Stoat may keep this up so long as it can Concentrate (similar to casting a spell with the Concentration Duration), up to a maximum of 1 Minute.

*Skills*: Stout Stoats have a +4 Racial Bonus to Climb and Hide Checks.

*Combat*:  Stoats will increase an opponents weight to slow him down so they can escape.  If they get caught they increase their own weight and go for the Grapple.  Nothing like a ferret suddenly increasing to half a ton in weight as it leaps on you.




*Stout Stoat*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I will be interviewing Orcish farmer Bob Jenkins, as he tries some innovative ways to keep the local magical weasels from his hen house."

*Ferrets Luv Chikin*

"Greetings Farmer Jenkins.  What sort of powers do these critters have?"

"They's fattenin'."

"You _eat_ them?"

"If I may interject, I believe he's referring to their purported ability to manipulate weight."


*Thousand Pound Marauders*

"Weight manipulation?"

"They appear to be able to manipulate the weight of themselves and others.  They're also fairly tactical  and cunning in it's use."

"How, pray tell, does Farmer Jenkins intend to combat this?"

"Ghosts.  I've hired a necromancer."

----------


## Bhu

http://fxb.worth1000.com/entries/585079/cowbird

*Cowbird*
                      Diminutive Magical Beast
*Hit Dice:*             1d10+1 (6 hp)
*Initiative:*           +3
*Speed:*                10 ft. (2 squares), Fly 60 ft. (Good)
*Armor Class:*          17 (+4 Size, +3 Dex), touch 17, flat-footed 14
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +1/-15
*Attack:*               Gore +8 melee (1d2-4)
*Full Attack:*          Gore +8 melee (1d2-4)
*Space/Reach:*          1 ft./0 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Charge, MOO!
*Special Qualities:*    Dark Vision 60 ft.
*Saves:*                Fort +3, Ref +5, Will +0
*Abilities:*            Str 3, Dex 16, Con 12, Int 2, Wis 11, Cha 6
*Skills:*               Listen +2, Spot +2
*Feats:*                Flyby Attack, Anklebiter (B), Weapon Finesse (B)
*Environment:*          Temperate Forest or Plains
*Organization:*         Solitary, Pair, or Herd (4-8)
*Challenge Rating:*     1/2
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          ---
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_"Y'know Bert normally I'd be mad about hunting birds, but this is just so damn bizarre I'm at a loss for words."_

A failed attempt at creating winged Bison as an evil minion, the Cowbirds were released by their Wizard creator.  He just sort of assumed they'd die, but instead they seemed to have thrived and now the little freaks are everywhere.  And to top it all off most of them are too small to be really good eating...  Cowbirds appear as little teensy birds with the heads of cattle.  And they also have the attitude of full sized cows.

*Charge (Ex)*: If the Cowbird successfully performs a Charge Attack on a Medium or smaller opponent, the opponent must make a DC 13 Fortitude Save or be Dazed 1 round (Save DC is Dex based).

*MOO! (Ex)*: Cowbirds are as loud as full sized animals, and their moo can sometimes scare the crap out of unsuspecting people.  If anyone fails to notice the Cowbird and it Moos as a Swift Action, all living creatures within 20 feet make a DC 10 Willpower Save (Save DC is Charisma based with a +2 Racial Bonus) or be Shaken for 1 round.

*Combat*: Cowbirds usually Moo before charging en masse.  The sight of a handful of little red bird creatures slamming their heads into people has shocked many an adventurer beyond the need for facial expression.



*Cowbird*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I will be discussing one of the silliest things we have ever seen.  Molothrus boviceps, better known as the Cowbird.

*Attitude*

"Correct Harlan.  Widely speculated to have been created during a drunken bet, this species is now found far and wide."

"I'm told they're regarded as pests Jim?"

"Yes, but that's to do with their nature rather than devouring crops or such."


*Right Between The Eyes*

"So why are they disliked?"

"I'm told they like to deliver flying headbutts directly into people's faces."

"I can see where this would be an issue"

"Also they can bellow pretty loudly.  Especially if disturbed at night."

----------


## Bhu

*The Apes of Wrath*
                      Tiny Magical Beast
*Hit Dice:*             1d8 (4 hp)
*Initiative:*           +5
*Speed:*                30 ft. (6 squares), Climb 30 ft.
*Armor Class:*          17 (+2 Size, +5 Dex), touch 17, flat-footed 12
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +1/-11
*Attack:*               Slam +8 melee (1d2-4)
*Full Attack:*          2 Slams +8 melee (1d2-4) and 1 Bite +1 melee (1 point)
*Space/Reach:*          2 1/2 ft./0 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Improved Grab, Rend
*Special Qualities:*    Dark Vision 60 ft., Reincarnation, Shared Skills, Sense Target, Immunities
*Saves:*                Fort +2, Ref +7, Will +4
*Abilities:*            Str 3, Dex 20, Con 10, Int 18, Wis 18, Cha 8
*Skills:*               Balance +28, Climb +27, Hide +37, Intimidate +23, Jump +20, Knowledge (Geography, History, Nature) +27, Listen +28, Move Silently +29, Search +28, Sense Motive +28, Spot +28, Survival +28, Swim +19, Tumble +29, Use Magic Device +23
*Feats:*                Weapon Finesse
*Environment:*          Any
*Organization:*         Solitary
*Challenge Rating:*     1/2
*Treasure:*             Standard
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral Evil
*Advancement:*          (see below)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---


*The Apes of Wrath*
                      Small Magical Beast
*Hit Dice:*             2d8+2 (11 hp)
*Initiative:*           +4
*Speed:*                30 ft. (4 squares), Climb 30 ft.
*Armor Class:*          16 (+1 Size, +4 Dex, +1 Natural), touch 15, flat-footed 12
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +2/-1
*Attack:*               Slam +7 melee (1d3+1)
*Full Attack:*          2 Slams +7 melee (1d3+1) and 1 Bite +2 melee (1d2)        
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Improved Grab, Rend
*Special Qualities:*    Dark Vision 60 ft., Reincarnation, Shared Skills, Sense Target, Immunities
*Saves:*                Fort +4, Ref +7, Will +4
*Abilities:*            Str 12, Dex 18, Con 12, Int 18, Wis 18, Cha 10
*Skills:*               Balance +27, Climb +32, Hide +32, Intimidate +24, Jump +25, Knowledge (Geography, History, Nature) +27, Listen +28, Move Silently +28, Search +28, Sense Motive +28, Spot +28, Survival +28, Swim +24, Tumble +28, Use Magic Device +24
*Feats:*                Weapon Finesse
*Environment:*          Any
*Organization:*         Solitary
*Challenge Rating:*     1
*Treasure:*             Standard
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral Evil
*Advancement:*          (see below)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---


*The Apes of Wrath*
                      Medium Magical Beast
*Hit Dice:*             4d8+8 (26 hp)
*Initiative:*           +3
*Speed:*                30 ft. (6 squares), Climb 20 ft.
*Armor Class:*          16 (+3 Dex, +3 Natural), touch 13, flat-footed 13
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +4/+8
*Attack:*               Slam +9 melee (1d4+4)
*Full Attack:*          2 Slams +9 melee (1d4+4) and 1 Bite +3 melee (1d3+2)         
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Improved Grab, Rend
*Special Qualities:*    Dark Vision 60 ft., Reincarnation, Shared Skills, Sense Target, DR 5/Magic, SR 14, Immunities
*Saves:*                Fort +5, Ref +6, Will +5
*Abilities:*            Str 18, Dex 16, Con 14, Int 18, Wis 18, Cha 10
*Skills:*               Balance +26, Climb +35, Hide +27, Intimidate +24, Jump +28, Knowledge (Geography, History, Nature) +27, Listen +28, Move Silently +27, Search +28, Sense Motive +28, Spot +28, Survival +28, Swim +27, Tumble +27, Use Magic Device +24
*Feats:*                Power Attack, Weapon Focus (Slam)
*Environment:*          Any
*Organization:*         Solitary
*Challenge Rating:*     3
*Treasure:*             Standard
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral Evil
*Advancement:*          (see below)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---


*The Apes of Wrath*
                      Large Magical Beast
*Hit Dice:*             8d8+24 (60 hp)
*Initiative:*           +2
*Speed:*                40 ft. (8 squares), Climb 20 ft.
*Armor Class:*          19 (-1 Size, +2 Dex, +8 Natural), touch 11, flat-footed 17
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +8/+19
*Attack:*               Slam +15 melee (1d6+7)
*Full Attack:*          2 Slams +15 melee (1d6+7) and 1 Bite +9 melee (1d6+3)         
*Space/Reach:*          10 ft./10 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Improved Grab, Rend
*Special Qualities:*    Dark Vision 60 ft., Reincarnation, Shared Skills, Sense Target, DR 10/Magic, SR 17, Fast Healing 1, Immunities
*Saves:*                Fort +9, Ref +8, Will +6
*Abilities:*            Str 24, Dex 14, Con 16, Int 18, Wis 18, Cha 14
*Skills:*               Balance +25, Climb +38, Hide +22, Intimidate +26, Jump +31, Knowledge (Geography, History, Nature) +27, Listen +28, Move Silently +26, Search +28, Sense Motive +28, Spot +28, Survival +28, Swim +30, Tumble +26, Use Magic Device +26
*Feats:*                Cleave, Power Attack, Weapon Focus (Slam)
*Environment:*          Any
*Organization:*         Solitary
*Challenge Rating:*     6
*Treasure:*             Standard
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral Evil
*Advancement:*          (see below)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---


*The Apes of Wrath*
                      Huge Magical Beast
*Hit Dice:*             16d8+80 (152 hp)
*Initiative:*           +2
*Speed:*                40 ft. (8 squares), Climb 20 ft.
*Armor Class:*          25 (-2 Size, +2 Dex, +15 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 23
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +16/+37
*Attack:*               Slam +28 melee (1d8+13/19-20)
*Full Attack:*          2 Slams +28 melee (1d8+13/19-20) and 1 Bite +22 melee (1d8+6)         
*Space/Reach:*          15 ft./15 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Improved Grab, Rend
*Special Qualities:*    Dark Vision 60 ft., Reincarnation, Shared Skills, Sense Target, DR 15/Magic, SR 25, Fast Healing 3, Energy Resistance 5 (Acid, Cold, Electricity, Fire, Sonic), Immunities
*Saves:*                Fort +15, Ref +12, Will +9
*Abilities:*            Str 36, Dex 14, Con 20, Int 18, Wis 18, Cha 18
*Skills:*               Balance +25, Climb +44, Hide +18, Intimidate +28, Jump +37, Knowledge (Geography, History, Nature) +27, Listen +28, Move Silently +26, Search +28, Sense Motive +24, Spot +28, Survival +28, Swim +36, Tumble +26, Use Magic Device +28
*Feats:*                Cleave, Great Cleave, Improved Bull Rush, Improved Critical (Slam), Power Attack, Weapon Focus (Slam)
*Environment:*          Any
*Organization:*         Solitary
*Challenge Rating:*     14
*Treasure:*             Standard
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral Evil
*Advancement:*          (see below)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---


*The Apes of Wrath*
                      Gargantuan Magical Beast
*Hit Dice:*             32d8+256 (400 hp)
*Initiative:*           +1
*Speed:*                40 ft. (8 squares), Climb 15 ft.
*Armor Class:*          40 (-4 Size, +1 Dex, +33 Natural), touch 7, flat-footed 39
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +32/+63
*Attack:*               Slam +48 melee (2d6+19/19-20)
*Full Attack:*          2 Slams +48 melee (2d6+19/19-20) and 1 Bite +42 melee (1d10+9)         
*Space/Reach:*          20 ft./20 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Improved Grab, Rend
*Special Qualities:*    Dark Vision 60 ft., Reincarnation, Shared Skills, Sense Target, DR 25/Magic, DR 10/-, SR 33, Fast Healing 5, Energy Resistance 10 (Acid, Cold, Electricity, Fire, Sonic), Immunities
*Saves:*                Fort +26, Ref +19, Will +14
*Abilities:*            Str 48, Dex 12, Con 26, Int 18, Wis 18, Cha 24
*Skills:*               Balance +24, Climb +50, Hide +13, Intimidate +31, Jump +43, Knowledge (Geography, History, Nature) +27, Listen +28, Move Silently +25, Search +28, Sense Motive +28, Spot +28, Survival +28, Swim +42, Tumble +44, Use Magic Device +31
*Feats:*                Awesome Blow, Cleave, Fling Enemy*, Great Cleave, Greater Mighty Roar*, Improved Bull Rush, Improved Critical (Slam), Mighty Roar*, Overwhelming Critical (Slam)#, Power Attack, Weapon Focus (Slam) 
*Environment:*          Any
*Organization:*         Solitary
*Challenge Rating:*     22
*Treasure:*             Standard
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral Evil
*Advancement:*          (see below)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---


*The Apes of Wrath*
                      Colossal Magical Beast
*Hit Dice:*             64d8+832 (1120 hp)
*Initiative:*           +1
*Speed:*                40 ft. (8 squares), Climb 10 ft.
*Armor Class:*          60 (-8 Size, +1 Dex, +53 Natural), touch 3, flat-footed 59
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +64/+105
*Attack:*               Slam +82 melee (3d6+25)
*Full Attack:*          2 Slams +82 melee (3d6+25) and 1 Bite +76 melee (2d6+12)          
*Space/Reach:*          30 ft./30 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Improved Grab, Rend
*Special Qualities:*    Dark Vision 60 ft., Reincarnation, Shared Skills, Sense Target, DR 35/Epic, DR 15/-, SR 46, Fast Healing 8, Energy Resistance 15 (Acid, Cold, Electricity, Fire, Sonic), Immunities
*Saves:*                Fort +47, Ref +35, Will +25
*Abilities:*            Str 60, Dex 12, Con 36, Int 18, Wis 18, Cha 30
*Skills:*               Balance +24, Climb +56, Hide +9, Intimidate +34, Jump +49, Knowledge (Geography, History, Nature) +27, Listen +28, Move Silently +28, Search +28, Sense Motive +28, Spot +28, Survival +28, Swim +48, Tumble +25, Use Magic Device +34
*Feats:*                Awesome Blow, Cleave, Combat Reflexes, Defensive Sweep+, Fling Enemy*, Great Cleave, Greater Mighty Roar*, Greater Powerful Charge^, Improved Bull Rush, Improved Critical (Slam), Improved Initiative, Improved Multiattack*, Mighty Roar*, Multiattack, Multigrab*, Overwhelming Assault+, Overwhelming Critical (Slam)#, Power Attack, Power Critical (Slam)~, Powerful Charge^, Shock Trooper!, Weapon Focus (Slam) 
*Environment:*          Any
*Organization:*         Solitary
*Challenge Rating:*     35
*Treasure:*             Standard
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral Evil
*Advancement:*          ---
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_"Bert...Ah swear if that lil' monkey critter doesn't stop throwing things at me Ah'm gonna forget mahself and bury my axe in his backside..."_

The Apes of Wrath are divine servitors the Gawds use to punish particularly enraging mortals.  They begin as tiny critters and are told to meddle in their targets affairs and harass them, but not to kill.  If the Ape is killed it subsequently resurrects in a larger, tougher form.  With each successive reincarnation it gets tougher and has more leeway granted by the Gawds in it's actions.  It usually gets the kill command somewhere around Large to Huge size if the target hasn't learned it's lesson (or has been particularly offensive).  Apes of Wrath understand all languages but do not speak any (that they've ever demonstrated).

*Improved Grab (Ex)*: If the Ape of Wrath successfully hits an opponent it's own Size Class or smaller with it's Slam attack it may immediately make a Grapple Check as a Free Action without provoking an Attack of Opportunity.

*Rend (Ex)*: If the Ape hits with both Slam attacks it holds on and begins battering it's opponent for an extra amount of damage equal to double it's normal Slam attack damage.

*Reincarnation (Ex)*: Apes of Wrath begin at Size Class Tiny.  They will do their best to arrange the punishment of their target, but if killed they resurrect 24 hours later at the next Size Class/HD level within 100 feet of the place they died.  If killed at that Size Class/HD level they again resurrect 24 hours later at the next larger level until they eventually reach Colossal.  If killed at Size Class Colossal their target is free of them, and the Gawds assign a new punishment.  Apes of Wrath cannot permanently be killed, but they can be re-assigned if killed often enough or if the Gawds can be convinced to recall them.

*Shared Skills (Ex)*: Regardless of what size or Hit Dice level the Ape of Wrath is at, it has the same skill points it would normally have at full Colossal size (modified by their current stats).

*Sense Target (Su)*: Once the Gawds make someone the target of an Ape of Wrath, the Ape always knows it's exact location, even if it is on another Plane of existence.

*Immunities (Ex)*: Apes of Wrath are immune to sleep effects, death effects, aging effects, fatigue/exhaustion, Mind-Affecting effects, poison, disease, paralysis, petrification, and polymorph.  They do not require sleep or rest.

*Skills*: Apes of Wrath get a +8 Racial Bonus to Climb Checks, and may always Take 10 on a Climb Check.

*Combat*: Apes of Wrath have pretty good reasoning abilities, and usually use tactics that belie their bestial appearance.  Most try to separate their target from potential protectors so they can confront him alone.  That way it minimizes the chances he gets help, and it also minimizes the collateral damage and dead bystanders.

*see Savage Species,  #see Epic Level Handboook,  +see PHB II, see Miniature's Handbook,  !see Complete Warrior, ~see Deities and Demigods

----------


## Bhu

*The Apes of Wrath*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I will be interviewing Benny, the Gawd of Fear, on a most interesting subject."

*Personifications of Divine Wrath*

"Good evening sir!"

"Call me Benny."

"We understand you're willing to discuss the legends of the Apes of Wrath."

"Oh they aren't legends.  Harlan can attest to that personally."

"coughs"

"Is it true they were made by you?"


*Blunt Instruments*

"In a manner of speaking.  I made the first few.  Other Gawds made Apes of their own in order to have servants they might consider more loyal."

"Those things are loyal to nothing."

"So they are some sort  of divine punishment?"

"Oh yes.  But generally you have to have been pretty bad for us to send one of them after you.  We figured waking up to a devil monkey slamming a bit of his own into your face would be enough to convince mortals to change their ways, lest we send worse."

"That's disputable..."

"Oddly  enough, you lot are stupidly bad at taking a subtle hint.  So we...gave the Apes better options."

----------


## Bhu

*Hamstower*
                      Diminutive Magical Beast
*Hit Dice:*             1/2d10 (2 hp)
*Initiative:*           +6
*Speed:*                10 ft. (2 squares), Climb 5 ft., Burrow 5 ft.
*Armor Class:*          16 (+4 Size, +2 Dex), touch 16, flat-footed 14
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +1/+13
*Attack:*               Nibble +5 melee touch (Attach)
*Full Attack:*          Nibble +5 melee touch (Attach)
*Space/Reach:*          0 ft./0 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Nibble, OW!
*Special Qualities:*    Low Light Vision, Darkvision 60 ft.
*Saves:*                Fort +2, Ref +4, Will +2
*Abilities:*            Str 1, Dex 14, Con 11, Int 5, Wis 14, Cha 14
*Skills:*               Balance +10, Climb +10, Hide +18, Listen +4, Move Silently +6, Spot +4, Swim +10
*Feats:*                Improved Initiative
*Environment:*          Any
*Organization:*         Solitary, Pair, or Colony (10-100)
*Challenge Rating:*     1/4
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          ---
*Level Adjustment:*     ---


_"Abner?? Abner wake up there's lil furry critters nibblin' on yer toes.."_

*"FOOM!"*

_"AAAIIIGH!"_

As a side effect of one of Prak's many legendary oddball experiments, a group of his pet hamsters became materially unstable.  Despite this, they have beaten the odds, escaped captivity, and managed to breed a small populace of potential unwelcome dangers.  In celebration  (he is called 'the Mad' after all), Prak gave them one of the most tortured puns around as a name.

*Nibble (Ex):* If the Hamstower hits with a melee Touch Attack, it attaches itself to it's opponent effectively Grappling it.  The Hamstower loses it's Dexterity Bonus to AC, but has a +12 Bonus to Grapple Checks (as well as ignoring Size/Strength penalties to Grapple Checks).  It can be struck with a weapon, or removed by pinning it in a Grapple.

*OW! (Su):* Hamstowers are notoriously unstable.  If they take enough damage to reduce them to negative hit points they explode doing 1d6 force damage in a 5 ft. square.

*Skills*: Hamstowers have a +4 Racial Bonus on Hide and Move Silently Checks.  They also have a +8 Racial Bonus on Balance, Climb, and Swim Checks.  They may use their Dex instead of Str modifier for Climb and Swim Checks.  They can always choose to take 10 on Climb or Swim Checks.  

*Combat:* A few Hamstowers go straight for the grapple, while the rest of their colony flees.  They're darn loyal critters.





*Hamstower*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I will be interviewing Prak the Mad, who has somehow made a new species of hamster."

*That's The Worst Pun I've Ever Heard*

"Good evening sir.  I understand these are called Hamstowers.  Can you explain why?"

"Because if you squish one, they explode.  It's sort of a portmanteau of 'hamster' and 'ow'."

"Wouldn't it make more sense if it were a portmanteau of 'hamster' and 'tower'?  But then I suppose they'd have to do something different.  Maybe form a furry pyramid and charge as a single unit."

"Holy crap, I need to make that."


*Fiercely Loyal*

"Can we see them?"

"Oh, no sir.  They'd swarm you to prevent damage to the rest of their family.  They're fabulously loyal.  They're so loyal, I'm inexplicably working on a cure."

"How goes that?"

"I'm becoming allergic to force damage."

----------


## Bhu

*Pidgin*
                      Tiny Magical Beast
*Hit Dice:*             1d10 (5 hp)
*Initiative:*           +3
*Speed:*                10 ft. (2 squares), Fly 40 ft. (Average)
*Armor Class:*          15 (+2 Size, +3 Dex), touch 15, flat-footed 12
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +1/-11
*Attack:*               Peck +6 melee (1d2-4)
*Full Attack:*          Peck +6 melee (1d2-4)
*Space/Reach:*          2 1/2 ft./0 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Poop Cannon
*Special Qualities:*    Low Light Vision, Darkvision 60 ft., Mindless
*Saves:*                Fort +2, Ref +5, Will +2
*Abilities:*            Str 3, Dex 17, Con 10, Int -, Wis 14, Cha 14
*Skills:*               ---
*Feats:*                Ability Focus (Poop Cannon)(B), Weapon Finesse (B)
*Environment:*          Any
*Organization:*         Solitary, Pair or Flock (10-100)
*Challenge Rating:*     1/4
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Usually Neutral
*Advancement:*          ---
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_"Dammit I hate these birds..."_

KAPOW

Pidgins appear to be magical...pigeons.  They are dangerous to mages, as anyone struck by their poop cannon becomes inarticulate, and as a result their speech turns a little...awkward.  Victims develop a noticeable cognitive defect as well.  Their origin is unknown, but as per usual mages are blamed.  The local Mage's Guilds say they would never do anything so irresponsible, yet noted drunkards among their group remain conspicuously absent for interviewing purposes. The name Pidgin is a pun that comes from their habit of mimicking language similar to a parrots.  However their speech is noticeably different, leading people to say they are speaking a 'pidgin' version of Common.

*Poop Cannon (Su):* Once per round as a Free Action the Pidgin may answer the call of nature, prompting a DC 12 (Save DC is Constitution based) Fortitude Save from unfortunate bystanders standing below (or from those who are forced to clean it up later).  The blast is treated as a grenade-like weapon aimed at the square directly beneath it (or up to 3 squares away), and at any given time the Pidgin has 1d3 'loads' ready.  Even more deadly are Pidgin flocks, which can number in the hundreds, and potential victims have the Save DC they must make increased by +1 for each blast landing in their square.  If the Save is failed they take a -1 Morale Penalty on Ability and Skill Checks and Attack rolls for 1d4 rounds, and gain a 20% failure chance any spells they cast in the next 24 hours fail (this stacks with other forms of spell failure, such as armor).

*Combat:* Pidgins rarely initiate combat as they are cowards, along with being dull.  Like most pigeons, however, they poop on everything and are thusly a hazard.



*Pidgin*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom, Jim and I will be coming to you live from Spankenstein College in Wacky Land!"

*Vermin of the Sky*

"We're here to interview the locals on a magically altered species of Pigeon.  Is it correct sir that they are responsible for altering the locals use of language?"

"MUCKLE DAMRED CULTI 'AIR EH NAMBLIES BE KEEPIN' ME WEE MEN!?!?"

"Did you get that Jim?"

"I...I'm not sure..."


*Toxic Bird Poo*

"How do  we interview anyone if the birds scramble language?"

"I haven't been hit yet sir."

"What's the umbrella for?"

"It's the Pidgin poo sir.  It's toxic.  Thankfully the effects are temporary."

"Who are you?  Does this have anything to do with the college?"

"Oh my goodness, look at the time..."

----------


## Bhu

*Hero Shrew*
                      Diminutive Magical Beast 
*Hit Dice:*             2d10+2 (13 hp)
*Initiative:*           +4
*Speed:*                20 ft. (4 squares), Climb 20 ft., Fly 30 ft. (Perfect), Swim 20 ft.
*Armor Class:*          20 (+4 Size, +4 Dex, +2 Natural), touch 18, flat-footed 18
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +2/+2
*Attack:*               Bite +6 melee (1d3) or Ray +6 ranged (2d4)
*Full Attack:*           Bite +6 melee (1d3) or Ray +6 ranged (2d4)
*Space/Reach:*          1 ft./0 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Ray Vision
*Special Qualities:*    Darkvision 60 ft., DR 5/-, Immune to Fear, Superhero, Energy Resistance 5
*Saves:*                Fort +5, Ref +7, Will +1
*Abilities:*            Str 10, Dex 18, Con 12, Int 6, Wis 12, Cha 8
*Skills:*               Balance +12, Climb +12, Hide +12, Listen +4, Move Silently +8, Spot +3, Swim +8
*Feats:*                Great Fortitude
*Environment:*          Warm Forests 
*Organization:*         Solitary or Justice League (5-10)
*Challenge Rating:*     2
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Usually Chaotic Good
*Advancement:*          2 HD (Tiny)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_"WHO DARE ENTER THE LAIR OF THE ROBOTIC GECKOMISTRESS?"_

_"The what?"_

Hero Shrews appear as particularly bulky Shrews wearing tiny little capes.  Believing themselves the protectors of the innocent and the saviors of the world leads them to fight evil at every opportunity.  Unfortunately, given the Shrews slightly subpar intellect, those opportunities come more often than strictly necessary due to little misunderstandings.  They speak Common.

*Ray Vision (Su):*  Once every 1d4 rounds the Hero Shrew can unleash an energy ray (choose Cold, Electricity, Fire, Force, or Sonic damage when making the Shrew) as a Standard Action. This is a ranged touch attack with a range of 30 feet doing 2d4 damage of the chosen Energy type.  The Hero Shrews Energy Resistance is the same type of Energy chosen for their Ray Vision.

*Superhero (Ex):* Hero Shrews take no Size Penalties to opposed Combat Checks.

*Skills:* Shrews have a +4 racial bonus on Hide and Move Silently checks, and a +8 racial bonus on Balance, Climb, and Swim checks. A Shrew can always choose to take 10 on Climb checks, even if rushed or threatened. A Shrew uses its Dexterity modifier instead of its Strength modifier for Climb and Swim checks. A Shrew has a +8 racial bonus on any Swim check to perform some special action or avoid a hazard. It can always choose to take 10 on a Swim check, even if distracted or endangered. It can use the run action while swimming, provided it swims in a straight line. 

*Combat:* Hero Shrews pretty much fight like comic book superheroes: loud, up close, and with lots of collateral damage.



*Hero Shrew*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I will be taking a look at Scutisorex somereni, als known as the Hero Shrew."

*OMG Look At The Little Capes!*

"Hero Shrews are apparently an intelligent but flawed species who see themselves as the last stand against the forces of Evil."

"WE MEET AGAIN PROFESSOR JERGENS!"


*With Great Power Comes Great Incoherence*

"You know this Shrew Harlan?"

"Of course not Jim.  Clearly it has mistaken me for someone else."

"I am not mistaken Fiend!! I know you from your days as the Clonemaster!  Defend yourself!"

"A little help here Jim?"

"It's just a Shrew Harlan..."

*ZAP*

----------


## Bhu

*Time Flies*  inspired by Silvercat Moonpaw
Fine Magical Beast 
*Hit Dice:* 1d10 (5 hp)
*Initiative:* +0
*Speed:* 5 ft. (1 square), Climb 5 ft., Fly 40 ft. (Good)
*Armor Class:* 18 (+8 Size), touch 18, flat-footed 18
*Base Attack/Grapple:* +1/-20
*Attack:* Bite +1 melee touch (Yeet)
*Full Attack:* Bite +1 melee touch (Yeet)
*Space/Reach:* 1/2 ft./0 ft.
*Special Attacks:* Yeet
*Special Qualities:* Dark Vision 60 ft., Scent, Temporally Stable
*Saves:* Fort +2, Ref +2, Will +0
*Abilities:* Str 1, Dex 10, Con 10, Int 1, Wis 11, Cha 10
*Skills:* Climb+3, Hide +16, Listen +2, Spot +2
*Feats:* Weapon Finesse
*Environment:* Any
*Organization:* Solitary or Swarm (6-30)
*Challenge Rating:* 1/2
*Treasure:* None
*Alignment:* Neutral
*Advancement:* -
*Level Adjustment:* ---

_"Abner...this is just about the last straw for me."_

_"They could have at least warned us."_

Time Flies are large blue flies invented by a madman in his magical labs by exposing them to temporal anomalies.  Eventually they became immune to the vagaries of chronomancy.  More importantly, they learned to hurtle others through time as a defensive option.  They appear to be hideous flies roughly 2 inches long.

*Yeet (Su):* By making a touch attack, the Time Flies can send their target 1d4+1 rounds into the future.  The target gets a DC 12 Willpower Save to avoid this (Save DC is Wisdom based, with a +2 Racial Bonus).

*Temporally Stable (Su):* Time Flies are immune to temporal effects and spells, such as Time Stop.

*Skills:* Time Flies get a +8 Racial Bonus to Climb checks, and can always take 10 on climb checks even if rushed or threatened.

*Combat:* Nervous flies yeet anyone who gets close enough.  They usually don't have to make their point twice.


*Time Fly Swarm*
                      Fine Magical Beast (Air)
*Hit Dice:*             12d10 (66 hp)
*Initiative:*           +4
*Speed:*                5 ft. (1 square), Climb 5 ft., Fly 40 Ft. (Good)
*Armor Class:*          18 (+8 Size), touch 18, flat-footed 18
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +12/-
*Attack:*               -
*Full Attack:*          -
*Space/Reach:*          10 ft./0 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Distraction, Time Storm
*Special Qualities:*    Dark Vision 60 ft., Scent, Immune to Weapon damage, Swarm traits, Temporally Stable
*Saves:*                Fort +10, Ref +10, Will +6
*Abilities:*            Str 1, Dex 10, Con 10, Int 1, Wis 11, Cha 10
*Skills:*               Climb+7, Hide +16, Listen +7, Spot +7
*Feats:*                Alertness, Great Fortitude, Improved Initiative, Iron Will, Lightning Reflexes
*Environment:*          Any
*Organization:*         Solitary
*Challenge Rating:*     6
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Neutral
*Advancement:*          -
*Level Adjustment:*     ----

*Time Storm (Su):* Anything entering the swarms area is subject to a storm of temporal energies if it fails a DC 18 Willpower Save (Save DC is Wisdom based, with a +2 Racial Bonus).  If it fails, roll on the following table:

01-10: The target gains a -1 Penalty on all rolls for the round.
11-20: The Swarm gains a +1 Bonus on all rolls for the round.
21-50: Target is sent 1d4+1 rounds into the future.
51-70: Time stops for everything in the swarms area for 1d4+1 rounds (the swarm is immune to this).
71-00: Target goes out of synch and merges with something occupying the same space at a different period of time.  Both target and the occupying something take 4d6 untyped damage.

*Temporally Stable (Su):* Time Flies are immune to temporal effects and spells, such as Time Stop.

*Distraction (Ex):* Any living creature that begins its turn with a swarm in its space must succeed on a DC 16 Fortitude save or be nauseated for 1 round. The save DC is Constitution-based. 

*Skills:* Time Flies get a +8 Racial Bonus to Climb checks, and can always take 10 on climb checks even if rushed or threatened.

*Combat:* Time Fly swarms are a tad more aggressive and smug than lone members of their kind.




*Time Fly*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom we'll be taking a look at the Time Fly, also known as Hebecnema temporalis.  As usual, my temporally stable assistant Jim will be doing the honors!"

*Magical Hazard*
"The Time Fly is the unfortunate result of temporal research.  They are monstrously efficient pests causing massive temporal disturbances in their wake."

"Have you found more on their creator Jim?"

"Afraid not Harlan.  Rumor has it some particularly angry Gawds 'had a word or two' with him.  Current whereabouts unknown."

*Desperate Experiment*
"Viewers are of course familiar with the origin of the flies as byproducts of attempts to create a temporal passageway through this Demiplane."

"Can we leave before the spells protecting us wear off?."

----------


## Metastachydium

> http://fxb.worth1000.com/entries/585079/cowbird


Ptero_t_aurs for the win!




> Molothrus bos


Might I suggest _boviceps_ ('cattle-headed') instead of bos?




> *Hero Shrew*
> 
> ()
> 
> *Special Qualities:*    Darkvision 60 ft., DR 5/-, Immune to Fear, Superhero, Energy Resistance 5
> *Saves:*                Fort +5, Ref +7, Will +1
> *Abilities:*            Str 10, Dex 18, Con 12, Int 6, Wis 12, Cha 8
> 
> ()
> ...


Hm. No STR penalty and no size penalties in combat on a diminutive creature paired with that DR kind of hammers the point home, but given the crazy real life version, this could arguably use _more_ weird stuff. I don't know, something like being considered two size categories larger when calculating encumbrance or immunity to damage from falling objects.




> *Time Flies*
> 
> ()
> 
> Blowfly swarms


Those might not be the droids words you're looking for.




> Hebecnema tempus


I'd go with _temporalis_ (the adjective) or at least _temporis_ (the genetive).

----------


## Bhu

> Ptero_t_aurs for the win!
> 
> Hm. No STR penalty and no size penalties in combat on a diminutive creature paired with that DR kind of hammers the point home, but given the crazy real life version, this could arguably use _more_ weird stuff. I don't know, something like being considered two size categories larger when calculating encumbrance or immunity to damage from falling objects.


I was considering something, but figuring out the CR was wonky as it was so I posted it as it was.  Fixed the other two.  My thanks again for the latin.

----------


## Bhu

*Turkey*
                      Small Magical Beast
*Hit Dice:*             2d10+4 (15 hp)
*Initiative:*           +1
*Speed:*                20 ft. (4 squares), Climb 20 ft.
*Armor Class:*          16 (+1 Size, +1 Dex, +4 Natural), touch 12, flat-footed 15
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +2/-2
*Attack:*               Bite +3 melee (1d4)
*Full Attack:*          Bite +3 melee (1d4)
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      -
*Special Qualities:*    Low-light Vision, Darkvision 60 ft., Scent, Conspiracy
*Saves:*                Fort +4, Ref +4, Will +3
*Abilities:*            Str 10, Dex 12, Con 12, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 5
*Skills:*               Balance +5, Climb +5, Hide +6, Listen +2, Spot +2, Swim +5
*Feats:*                Improved Toughness, Iron Will
*Environment:*          Temperate or Warm Swamp or Forests
*Organization:*         Solitary or Troop (5-10)
*Challenge Rating:*    1 
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          3-4 HD (Small); 5-8 HD (Medium)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_"That ain't no bird..."_

Turkeys are an unholy combination of Turtle and Monkey, and resemble scaly monkeys with a somewhat reptilian face and hard shell.  Not particularly strong or fast, few people find them threatening, and their existence is contributed to a combination of whiskey and access to the same magics that created the Owlbear.  They have found a niche in Durian, where rampant superstition has led to all sorts of weird stories about them.  They're vampires.  They can pull your soul out from your navel.  They are raging cucumber addicts with supernatural kung-fu powers.  The list goes on.

It's so bad that people making Knowledge Checks abut them are bombarded with misinformation.

*Conspiracy (Ex):* Myths and rumors about Turkeys have become so obfuscated in the retelling, that all Knowledge skill checks made to gain information about them take a -8 Penalty.

*Skills:* Turkeys have a +4 Racial Bonus on Balance, Climb, and Swim Checks.

*Combat:* Turkeys are fairly non-aggressive, unless you approach them suddenly or go near their eggs. Or live in Durian.  They love messin' with people in Durian.



*Turkey*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I will be taking a look at the common Turkey.

*That Ain't No Bird*

"I don't know what the hell that is, but it's not a Turkey..."

"CORRECT YOUNG JIM!"

"Who might you be?"

"I'm Big Daddy Jones, purveyor of rare and wondrous animals hereabouts!"

"That is clearly an abomination of magic, not an animal."

*It Does What?*

"Let's not anger the locals Jim."

"No anger here sir!  Careful about approaching the Turkey! They are signs of ill omen."

"And yet you travel with a cage full of them..."

"They come in handy good sir!  Alcohol made from their liver cures gout!  Just don't feed them after midnight or they become vampires!"

"Er...what?"

"Also, never feed them powdered bone, or they gain the power to disguise themselves as goats!"

"Are you high?"

----------


## Bhu

*Deel*
                      Medium Magical Beast (Amphibious, Aquatic)
*Hit Dice:*             3d10+9 (25 hp)
*Initiative:*           +3
*Speed:*                30 ft. (6 squares), Swim 15 ft.
*Armor Class:*          18 (+3 Dex, +5 Natural), touch 13, flat-footed 15
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +3/+6
*Attack:*               Bite +6 melee (1d6+3)
*Full Attack:*          Bite +6 melee (1d6+3) and 2 Hoofs +1 melee (1d4+1)
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Tossing Charge, Attach
*Special Qualities:*    Darkvision 60 ft., Scent
*Saves:*                Fort +6, Ref +6, Will +2
*Abilities:*            Str 17, Dex 17, Con 17, Int 2, Wis 13, Cha 4
*Skills:*               Hide +9, Listen +5, Spot +5, Swim +11
*Feats:*                Alertness, Endurance
*Environment:*          Any Aquatic
*Organization:*         Solitary, Pair or Herd (6-30)
*Challenge Rating:*     3
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          4 HD (Medium), 5-9 HD (Large)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

"Hunting and fishing isn't what it used to be Abner."

"How the hell do we cook this thing?"

Deels are an exotic cross between Moray Eels and Deer.  Because apparently some group of Wizards thought Owlbears weren't bad enough.

*Tossing Charge (Ex):* The Deel does 2d4+4 with a successful Charge attack.  If it damages an opponent it can make an opposed Str Check as a Free Action.  If it succeeds it can move it's opponent 10 feet in any direction (this does not provoke attacks of opportunity).

*Attach (Ex):*  If a Deel hits with its bite attack, it uses its powerful jaws to latch onto the opponents body and automatically deals bite damage each round it remains attached. An attached Deel loses its Dexterity bonus to AC and has an AC of 15.  An attached Deel can be struck with a weapon or grappled itself. To remove an attached eel through grappling, the opponent must achieve a pin against the creature.

*Skills:* Deels have a +8 Racial Bonus to Swim Checks, and may Always Take 10 on a Swim Check.  They also have a +4 Racial Bonus on Hide Checks in their natural environment.

*Combat:*  Deels open with a charge to toss one opponent away before biting the next one.



*Deel*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I will be looking at the tragically named Deel."

*When Owlbears Aren't Good Enough*

"So we're looking at another Owlbear type concept...what's the point of this one?"

"Do any of them have a point Jim?"

"Fair enough."


*The Weirdest Taste in Durian*

"I  understand they can be popular livestock Jim."

"Popular with who?  Madmen?"

----------


## Bhu

*Buffalo Chicken*
                      Large Magical Beast
*Hit Dice:*             5d10+15 (42 hp)
*Initiative:*           +0
*Speed:*                40 ft. (8 squares)
*Armor Class:*          14 (-1 Size, +5 Natural), touch 9, flat-footed 14
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +5/+15
*Attack:*               Peck +10 melee (1d8+9)
*Attack:*               Peck +10 melee (1d8+9)
*Space/Reach:*          10 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Spicy!
*Special Qualities:*    Darkvision 60 ft., Lowlight Vision, Scent
*Saves:*                Fort +7, Ref +4, Will +1
*Abilities:*            Str 22, Dex 10, Con 16, Int 2, Wis 11, Cha 6
*Skills:*               Listen +6, Spot +6
*Feats:*                Alertness, Endurance
*Environment:*          Temperate Plains
*Organization:*         Solitary or herd (6-30)
*Challenge Rating:*     3
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          6-10 HD (Large)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

Buffalo Chickens are chicken headed bison.  Brought to you by a mage who likes bad puns and has a copy of 'The Owlbear Mechanism: A Step By Step Process To Making Godless Abominations That Will Complicate Your Life'.  They don't have the mindless anger most Owlbears do, but they seem strictly interested in eating powerfully spicy plants.  While it leaves them unaffected, their flesh tastes like burning.  They have no natural predators.

*Spicy! (Ex):* Buffalo Chickens are awash in potent pain causing toxins.  If they are bitten or Swallowed, their attacker must make a DC 15 Fortitude Save, or suffer a -4 penalty on attack rolls, skill checks, and ability checks for 1 hour (Save DC is Constitution based).  If the Save is successful the penalty only lasts 1 Minute.  Buffalo Chickens themselves are immune to this and other spicy foods.  They can eat pure capsaicin with no effect.

*Combat:* Charge and peck is the limit of the Buffalo Chickens tactical repertoire.



*Buffalo Chicken*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I will be looking at the popular Buffalo Chicken."

*Spicy!*

"The Buffalo Chicken is yet another mishmash of critters Harlan.  Their tiny wing are too small for them to fly, but they're pretty popular in the local restaurants."

"Aren't they toxic Jim?"

"They are one of the few creatures that can subsist on the chilies that grow here.  The toxins that make those chilies hot suffuse their flesh, making it hot as well."


*Don't Copyright Strike Us*

"I take it there are few worries about predators then?"

"Carnivores who bite them, only do it once."

----------


## Bhu

*Skunk Cabbage* 
                      Tiny Plant
*Hit Dice:*             2d8 (9 hp)
*Initiative:*           +2
*Speed:*                20 ft. (4 squares)
*Armor Class:*          14 (+2 Size, +2 Dex), touch 14, flat-footed 12
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +1/-8
*Attack:*               Headbutt +5 melee (1d3-1)
*Full Attack:*          Headbutt +5 melee (1d3-1)
*Space/Reach:*          2 1/2 ft./0 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Stank
*Special Qualities:*    Plant traits, Low-light Vision
*Saves:*                Fort +3, Ref +3, Will +1
*Abilities:*            Str 8, Dex 15, Con 11, Int 6, Wis 12, Cha 12
*Skills:*               Hide +10, Listen +3, Move Silently +4, Spot +2
*Feats:*                Anklebiter, Weapon Finesse (B)
*Environment:*          Temperate Marsh
*Organization:*         Solitary or Grove (3-10)
*Challenge Rating:*     1
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          2 HD (Small)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

Skunk Cabbages are four legged balls of vegetation.  People would keep them as pets were it not for their horrible smell.

*Stank (Ex):* Cabbages secrete an oily, musk-like chemical that nearly every form of animal life finds offensive. All living creatures (except Cabbages) within 30 feet of a Cabbage must succeed on a DC 13 Fortitude save or be sickened for 10 rounds. The save DC is Constitution-based with a +2 Racial Bonus. Creatures that successfully save cannot be affected by the same Cabbages stench for 24 hours. A delay poison or neutralize poison spell removes the effect from the sickened creature. Creatures with immunity to poison are unaffected, and creatures resistant to poison receive their normal bonus on their saving throws.

*Combat:* If something can make it past their stench, the headbutting commences.



*Skunk Cabbage*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom we'll be taking a look at the Skunk Cabbage, better known as Symplocarpus foetidus.  As usual, my gas mask wearing assistant Jim will be taking all the risks."

*Peeyew!*
"For once Harlan, this critter seems to have evolved naturally.  Few animals can get near it, let alone eat one, due to the stench."

"They look playful Jim."

"They are.  Were it not for the stench, they'd make great companions."

*They Live In Patches*
"There seem to be a lot of them Jim."

"That is truly an understatement Harlan.  Normally they live in extended family units, but we've arrived during spring..."

----------


## Bhu

*Troll Boar*
                      Small Magical Beast
*Hit Dice:*             1d10+2 (7 hp)
*Initiative:*           +2
*Speed:*                30 ft. (6 squares)
*Armor Class:*          17 (+1 Size, +3 Dex, +3 Natural), touch 14, flat-footed 14
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +3/-1
*Attack:*               Gore +6 melee (1d6)
*Full Attack:*          Gore +6 melee (1d6)
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Ferocity
*Special Qualities:*    Dark Vision 60 ft., Low Light Vision, Regeneration 3, Scent, Fearless 
*Saves:*                Fort +4, Ref +5, Will +1
*Abilities:*            Str 10, Dex 17, Con 15, Int 4, Wis 12, Cha 8
*Skills:*               Listen +2, Search +2, Spot +2, Survival +6
*Feats:*                Endurance, Weapon Finesse (B)
*Environment:*          Any except Aquatic
*Organization:*         Solitary, Pair, or Group (3-6)
*Challenge Rating:*     1
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          4-6 HD (Medium)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_"Bert...didn't we eat thet pig yesterday?"_

The village of La Mole needed a food source desperately for themselves and their poor truffle hunting pot bellied piggies.  Truffles brought in some nice money, but the other village crops were getting worse each year.   In desperation they turned to Prak the Mad.  A psychotic mage with a thing for interspecies cross breeding.  In other words, another in a long line of kooks who thought critters like the Owlbear were 'just spiffy'.

Mixing the Pot Bellied Pigs with Troll genetic material, he created a new form of black miniature pig that regenerated after being eaten.  Of course constantly being killed day after day for food has made the piggies a little...omnicidal...  

*Ferocity (Ex)*: Troll Boars can fight and act normally from -1 to -9 hp.

*Regeneration (Ex)*:  Troll Boar Regeneration doesn't work against Fire or Acid damage.  If a body part is severed it regrows within 3d6 minutes, or reattaches immediately if pressed against the stump.

*Fearless (Ex)*: Troll Boars are immune to Fear and Morale Effects.

*Skills*: Troll Boars have a +4 Racial Bonus to Search and Survival Checks.

*Combat*: Troll Boars usually squeal like, well...a pig, before rushing the opponent and messily devouring his toes.  They have little to no fear being as they know they'll just heal back.



*Troll Boar*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim will be interviewing one of the few surviving members of the La Mole holocaust."

*Magic Gone Wrong*

"Greetings sir or madam!  Can you tell us what happened here?"

"Damn fool wizards."

"Looks like I owe you a gold piece Jim."

"Can you be more specific?"


*A Town In Need*

"We wuz runnin' out of food, so we asked this guy, Prak the Mad he was called..."

"Oh boy..."

"So he makes the piggies regenerate so's we can eat them again and again.  And the piggies don't like this, nosiree...."

"Let me guess.  They massacred the town?"

"Well hell son, why did you ask if you already knew the story?"

"We didn't know the story, but we do know Prak..."

----------


## Metastachydium

> *Turkey*
> 
> ()
> 
> *Advancement:*          4-6 HD (Small)


Should be 36.




> "Also, never feed them powdered bone, or they gain the power to disguise themselves as goats!"


The horror! The horror!




> *Deel*
>                       Medium Magical Beast (Aquatic)
> 
> ()
> 
> *Environment:*          Any Aquatic


Aren't these supposed to be amphibious? The aquatic subtype doesn't grant _air_ breathing. (They'd also seem to be more dangerous on land. Why do they live in the water?)




> To remove an attached eel through grappling





> *Skunk Cabbage* 
> 
> ()
> 
> Skunk Cabbages are four legged balls of vegetation.  People would keep them as pets were it not for their horrible smell.


Okay, these are, like, _incredibly_ cute!

----------


## Bhu

will fix after I post the rest of the critters

*Rhinoctopus*
                      Large Magical Beast (Aquatic)
*Hit Dice:*             8d10+24 (68 hp)
*Initiative:*           +1
*Speed:*                30 ft. (6 squares), Swim 30 ft.
*Armor Class:*          17 (-1 Size, +1 Dex, +7 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 16
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +8/+18
*Attack:*               Tentacle +13 melee (1d4+6)
*Full Attack:*          8 Tentacles +13 melee (1d4+6)
*Space/Reach:*          10 ft./10 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Improved Grab, Rending Constriction
*Special Qualities:*    Low Light Vision, Ink Cloud, Amphibious
*Saves:*                Fort +9, Ref +7, Will +3
*Abilities:*            Str 23, Dex 13, Con 17, Int 2, Wis 13, Cha 3
*Skills:*               Escape Artist +11, Hide +8, Listen +6, Spot +6, Swim +14
*Feats:*               Alertness, Endurance, Skill Focus (Hide)
*Environment:*          Warm Aquatic or Plains
*Organization:*         Solitary
*Challenge Rating:*     8
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          9-16 HD (Large), 17-24 HD (Huge)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_"How is it Wizards never have normal pet guards Bert?"_

_"Ah think they feel they need to live up to their reputation."_

_"Ah'm gonna hurt this one bad since that thing of his pooped ink in mah face."_

The Rhinoctopus is a bizarre Wizardly creation involving a melding of the Octopus and the Rhino.  Why someone felt the need to do it is anyone's guess, but perhaps they thought it would make an interesting all terrain guardian.  It looks vaguely like a gelatinous octopoid shape with a larger than usual body, and a horned face.

*Improved Grab (Ex)*: If the Rhinoctopus successfully hits with it's tentacle attack, it may immediately make a Grapple Check as a Free Action without provoking an Attack of Opportunity.  If it succeeds it may then use it's Rending Constriction.

*Rending Constriction (Ex)*: If the Rhinoctopus successfully Grapples an opponent it squeezes him while goring it with it's horn simultaneously.  It does 3d6+6 piercing damage with a successful Grapple Check.  

*Ink Cloud (Ex)*:  The Rhinoctopus can spew black ichor once per minute as a Free Action.  Underwater this creates a 20' by 20' by 20' cloud that provides total concealment and completely obscures vision.  Out of water it is a 10' ranged touch attack.  If it hits the opponent must make a DC 15 Reflex Save (Save DC is Dex Based) or be blinded for 1d6 rounds, or until he can spend a full round washing it from his eyes whichever occurs first. 

*Combat*: Rhinoctopus are ambush predators waiting underneath the water for prey to come to drink.  If prey fails to appear, they can shimmy up onto land and try to chase it down, which can be a terrifying sight to anyone in the vicinity unused to their appearance.





*Rhinoctopus*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I begin to regret the publication of Prak's book on monster making."

*Someone Needs A Therapist*

"Greetings from the castle moat of local wizard 'Fat Bob' Krushenheimer."

"What's the special of the day Jim?"

"Looks like Fat Bob has merged a rhinoceros with some sort of octopus."


*High Weirdness*

"So highly impractical then?"

"His argument is that it's highly disturbing appearance makes up for it."

"I suppose that's fair.  Does it do anything a regular giant octopus can?"

"Not much really.  I mean it has a horn it can pull targets onto, thus impaling them."

"That is a bit disturbing."

----------


## Bhu

https://preview.redd.it/bdplmzcfv6x4...=webp&d154ab53

*Shark Bird*
                      Tiny Magical Beast (Aquatic)
*Hit Dice:*             1d10 (5 hp)
*Initiative:*           +3
*Speed:*                10 ft. (2 squares), Fly 60 ft. (Good), Swim 20 ft.
*Armor Class:*          16 (+2 Size, +3 Dex, +1 Natural), touch 15, flat-footed 13
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +1/-4
*Attack:*               Bite +4 melee (1d3-1 plus bleeding)
*Full Attack:*          Bite +4 melee (1d3-1 plus bleeding)
*Space/Reach:*          2 1/2 ft./0 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Wounding Bite
*Special Qualities:*    Darkvision 60 ft., Amphibious, Keen Scent
*Saves:*                Fort +2, Ref +5, Will +2
*Abilities:*            Str 8, Dex 17, Con 10, Int 1, Wis 14, Cha 4
*Skills:*               Listen +6, Move Silently +5, Spot +12, Swim +7
*Feats:*                Alertness, Weapon Finesse (B)
*Environment:*          Any Warm except Desert or Plains
*Organization:*         Solitary, Pair, or Flock (10-20)
*Challenge Rating:*     1/2
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          ---
*Level Adjustment:*     ---


*Shark Bird Flock*
                      Tiny Magical Beast (Aquatic)
*Hit Dice:*             8d10 (36 hp)
*Initiative:*           +7
*Speed:*                10 ft. (2 squares), Fly 60 ft. (Good), Swim 20 ft.
*Armor Class:*          16 (+2 Size, +3 Dex, +1 Natural), touch 15, flat-footed 13
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +8/-
*Attack:*               Swarm (2d6 plus bleeding)
*Full Attack:*          Swarm (2d6 plus bleeding)
*Space/Reach:*          10 ft./0 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Wounding Bite, Distraction
*Special Qualities:*    Darkvision 60 ft., Amphibious, Keen Scent, Swarm Traits, Half Damage from Slashing and Piercing Weapons
*Saves:*                Fort +6, Ref +9, Will +4
*Abilities:*            Str 8, Dex 17, Con 10, Int 1, Wis 14, Cha 4
*Skills:*               Listen +5, Move Silently +6, Spot +15, Swim +10
*Feats:*                Alertness, Flyby Attack, Improved Initiative
*Environment:*          Any Warm except Desert or Plains
*Organization:*         Solitary
*Challenge Rating:*     4
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          ---
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_"Ah've always hated birds Bert.  But this is the first time Ah've never liked fishin'..."_

Shark Birds are magical crosses between sparrows or some similar avian, and White Sharks.  They tend to swarm when food is nearby, and are much more aggressive in groups than when alone.  Alone they'll pick on similar sized prey.  In a feeding frenzy, groups of them will strip cattle (or their owners) clean.

*Wounding Bite (ex)*: Opponents successfully bitten by the Shark Bird (or it's Swarm Attack if attacked by a Swarm) loses 1 hp per round until they are healed by a spell, or someone makes a DC 15 Heal Check.  This is not cumulative per bite.

*Distraction (Ex)*: Living opponents vulnerable to the Shark Bird Swarms damage who begin the round in it's area must make a DC 14 Fortitude Swarm or be Nauseated 1 round.  Spellcasting or Concentrating on Spells requires a Concentration Check (DC 20 plus Spell Level), and using skills requiring patience and concentration require a DC 20 Concentration Check.

*Keen Scent (Ex)*: This is identical to the regular Scent ability, but the Shark Bird can also scent blood from up to 1 mile away.

*Skills*: Shark Birds gain a +8 Racial Bonus to Spot and Swim Checks, and can always Take 10 on a Swim Check.  

*Combat*: Lone Shark Birds tend to leave larger prey alone unless starving.  Swarms will attack anything, covering it and biting it into submission after making a few Flyby attacks.





*Shark Bird*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim is investigating a new coastal bird species rumoured to be terrorizing Florida."

*The Toothy Menace*

"Greetings from inside my cube of force Harlan.  I'm here with Dill Bob, local town mayor.  When did you discover this new species sir?"

"The local druids got all twitchy after accusing us of 'polluting' the local waters about the same time Prak published his book."

"Oh Jebus..."

"So what are they?"


*Duh Duh*

"Shark and bird combo.  Nasty one too."

"Have you taken any precautionary measures?"

"We're having a Bard curse the flocks as we find them.  Give them their own personal theme music so they can't sneak up on us."

"So I presume they've been troublesome?"

"You are in a cube of force Jim."

"That's pretty much standard issue for me from now on."

"Probably a good idea."

----------


## Bhu

*Pirhanakeet Swarm*
                      Diminutive Magical Beast (Swarm)
*Hit Dice:*             12d10 (66 hp)
*Initiative:*           +5
*Speed:*                10 ft. (2 squares), Fly 60 ft., Good
*Armor Class:*          19 (+4 Size, +5 Dex), touch 19, flat-footed 14
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +12/-
*Attack:*               Swarm (3d6)
*Full Attack:*          Swarm (3d6)
*Space/Reach:*          1 ft./0 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Distraction, Bloody Wounds
*Special Qualities:*    Darkvision 60 ft., Swarm traits, Immune to weapon damage, Scent
*Saves:*                Fort +8, Ref +13, Will +6
*Abilities:*            Str 1, Dex 20, Con 10, Int 1, Wis 14, Cha 4
*Skills:*               Listen +9, Spot +10
*Feats:*                Dodge, Flyby Attack, Hover, Improved Flyby Attack, Mobility
*Environment:*          Warm Forest
*Organization:*         Solitary
*Challenge Rating:*     7
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          ---
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_"GOD______ I HATE BIRDS!"_

_"Abner you really need to learn not to take bird attacks personally.  It's the curse man."_

Pirhanakeets are Parakeets crossed with some form of predatory, fanged monstrosity.  They seemingly do almost nothing but eat despite their tiny size.  They also take every opportunity to make more of their kind. There are small forests stripped clean because of them.  They appear to be mostly normal Parakeets, but their toothy beaks are preternaturally sharp and can cut through even hardened leather with ease.

*Distraction (Ex)*: Any living creature vulnerable to the swarms damage that begins it's turn in the same square as a Swarm must make a DC 16 Fortitude Save (Save DC is Constitution based) or be Nauseated for 1 round.  Spellcasting or concentrating on a spell within the swarms area requires a Concentration Check (DC is 20 plus spell level).  Using skills that require patience or concentration requires a DC 20 Concentration check.

*Bloody Wounds (Ex)*:  Any opponent that is damaged by a Pirhanakeets Swarm attack loses an additional 3 hit points per round for 1d6 rounds due to blood loss.  Multiple hits can extend duration, but do not do additional damage.

*Combat*: Pirhanakeets do the usual swarm tactics: envelop and chew profusely.



*Piranhakeets*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom, we're back in Florida with _yet another_ bird menace.  Have you found us any more information Jim?

*Professional Rivals*

"Remember those Shark Birds the local druids used as a revenge ploy?  Well, the local Wizards felt slighted and made a bird/predator combo of their own.  This time a mix of Parakeets and the Gawds alone know what."

"So a rivalry then?"

"More like a bunch of immature adults upset that some other group terrifies the locals more than they do."


*Voracious*

"So these are pretty much like the other recent arrivals?"

"They reproduce more, but can't swim."

"I imagine the Floridian Wizards Council has issued a statement?"

"They were the flocks first victims Harlan."

"Does no one use precautions anymore?"

----------


## Bhu

*Hummingator Swarm*
                      Fine Aberration
*Hit Dice:*             10d8 (45 hp)
*Initiative:*           +6
*Speed:*                5 ft. (1 squares), Fly 25 ft. (Perfect)
*Armor Class:*          20 (+8 Size, +2 Dex), touch 20, flat-footed 18
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +7/-
*Attack:*               Swarm (2d6)
*Full Attack:*          Swarm (2d6)
*Space/Reach:*          10 ft./0 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Distraction, Grip
*Special Qualities:*    Dark Vision 60 ft., Immune to Weapon Damage, swarm traits
*Saves:*                Fort +3, Ref +5, Will +9
*Abilities:*            Str 1, Dex 15, Con 10, Int 1, Wis 14, Cha 1
*Skills:*               Hide +18, Listen +7, Spot +7, Survival +5
*Feats:*                Flyby Attack, Hover, Improved Initiative, Mobility
*Environment:*          Warm Marsh
*Organization:*         Solitary
*Challenge Rating:*   6   
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          ---
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_'Whats that noi...AAAAAAHHHH!"_

Dorf the Wildly Incompetent needed some guardians, but he had such a bad rep no one wanted to work for him.  So he made some, by using the spells originally used to create Owlbears, to make the first Hummingators.  He judged them a failure due to their size.  They ate him in his sleep.  Subsequently they've infested the marshes.

*Distraction (Ex):* Any living creature vulnerable to a swarms damage that begins it's turn with a swarm in it's square is Nauseated for 1 round unless it makes a DC 15 Fortitude Save.  Spellcasting or concentrating on spells within the area of a swarm requires a Concentration Check (DC is 20 for skills, 20 + Spell Level for spellcasting).

*Grip (Ex):* Leaving the area of a Hummingator swarm requires a DC 15 Strength Check (Save DC is Constitution based).

*Combat:* Hummingator swarms tend to fly in, grab hold, and munch away crazily.  They aren't tactical.




*Hummingator Swarm*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I will be taking a look at the handiwork of Florida's resident fool."

*Unexpectedly devastating*

"You have a professional relationship Harlan?"

"I knew him from school.  His lack of patience did him no good."

"That's a given, considering what his pets have left of him."


*Heightened Metabolism Equals Always Hungry*

"He probably should have guessed that a Hummingbird's metabolism combined with the Alligator's carnivorous tendencies we're a bad combo."

"Thank Jebus for this Cube of Force.  They stripped my horse clean in moments."


*Hummingator*
                       Medium Aberration
*Hit Dice:*             4d8+8 (26 hp)
*Initiative:*           +2
*Speed:*                10 ft. (2 squares), Fly 60 ft. (Good)
*Armor Class:*          16 (+2 Dex, +4 Natural), touch 12, flat-footed 14
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +3/+6
*Attack:*               Bite +7 melee (1d6+6)
*Full Attack:*          Bite +7 melee (1d6+6)
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Improved Grab
*Special Qualities:*    Dark Vision 60 ft.
*Saves:*                Fort +3, Ref +3, Will +6
*Abilities:*            Str 18, Dex 14, Con 15, Int 2, Wis 14, Cha 6
*Skills:*               Hide +5, Listen +4, Spot +4
*Feats:*                Fly-by Attack, Hover
*Environment:*          Warm Marsh
*Organization:*         Solitary or Flock (3-6)
*Challenge Rating:*     2
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          5-8 HD (Medium)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_"Swamp assignments always suck.  Always.  Oh look, it's a flying reptile.  How unlikely."_

Simon the Moderately incompetent inherited his Uncle Dorf's notes, and realized his relative had forgotten to carry the 2 in his math.  He made more respectable sized Hummingators, which promptly devoured him in his sleep.  The current holders of the notes used them to start a cooking fire, so perhaps the world need not worry about relatives making Humingdragons.

*Improved Grab (Ex):* If a Hummingator successfully attacks with it's Bite, it can immediately make a Grapple Check as a Free Action without provoking an Attack of Opportunity.  If successful it does it's Bite damage with a successful Grapple Check.  

*Combat:* Hummingators tend to nest in trees hiding till likely prey comes by, at which point they make a few fly-by's to soften it up before grabbing and mauling it.




*Hummingator*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I are back in Florida covering the aftermath of another local fool."

*Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz*

"Apparently Dorf has a slightly more patient cousin.  Just patient enough to make new mistakes instead of repeating old ones.."

"What's the new mistake?"

"He went to sleep.  Oh, and he didn't have a Cube of Force."


*Keep It In The Family*

"That's one of the better investments the show has made.  So are these any less rabid or hateful than their smaller kin?"

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! No."

----------


## Bhu

http://fc05.deviantart.net/fs9/i/200..._by_imamon.jpg

*Zebrocerous*
                      Huge Magical Beast
*Hit Dice:*             13d10+104 (175 hp)
*Initiative:*           +4
*Speed:*                60 ft. (12 squares)
*Armor Class:*          23 (-2 Size, +15 Natural), touch 8, flat-footed 23
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +13/+33
*Attack:*               Gore +23 melee (2d8+18)
*Full Attack:*          Gore +23 melee (2d8+18)
*Space/Reach:*          15 ft./10 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      RAAAAAHHH!
*Special Qualities:*    Dark Vision 60 ft., Unusually Good at Hiding
*Saves:*                Fort +16, Ref +8, Will +6
*Abilities:*            Str 34, Dex 10, Con 26, Int 4, Wis 14, Cha 14
*Skills:*               Hide +6, Listen +10, Spot +10
*Feats:*                Alertness, Endurance, Improved Initiative, Run, Skill Focus: Hide
*Environment:*         Warm Plains
*Organization:*         Solitary
*Challenge Rating:*     10
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Chaotic Neutral
*Advancement:*          14-26 HD (Huge)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---


_"Bert?"_

"Yeah Abner?"

_"I quit.  Screw this."_

"Just exhale slowly Abner."

Unlike many magical follow ups to abominations like the Owlbear, the Zebrocerous actually worked.  It's tough, it's quick, and it's mean.  It was also manageable enough to keep as a guard beast.  They're quite popular with warm weather dwelling Warlords, madmen, and freaks of all kinds.

*RAAAAAHHH! (Su)*: When making a Charge Attack the Zebrocerous does 4d8+24.  All attacks made against it that round have a 50% miss chance due to it's outline breaking up.

*Unusually Good at Hiding (Su)*: Even at rest Zebrocerous are hard to hit from range.  They have a +2 Deflection Bonus to AC against ranged attacks, and get a +2 Racial Bonus on Saving Throws if the ranged attack is magical.  They also get a +10 Racial Bonus to Hide Checks.  Which is creepy because they aren't very quiet...

*Combat*: Zebrocerous tend to do the usual Rhino thing: charge, repeatedly gore, if maybe opponent falls down step on him a lot.  




*Zebrocerous*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I will be interviewing Prak the Mad."

*Big Stank!*

"So what is this bush chewimg monstrosity Prak?"

"I call him Big Stank!"

"And what, pray tell, is Big Stank?"

"Well sir he's a bit of Wooly Rhinoceros, a bit of Zebra, and a dash of Displacer Beast just for giggles."

"And what purpose was he made for?"


*Popular Proof of Concept*

"Well, initially he was just a 'look this can actually be done' concept, but he's proven tremendously popular.  Probably due to the distortion effect when they charge."

"Any downsides so far?"

"He eats a lot.  Like, a _lot_.  And lordy be, when he defecates, the world takes notice."

"I'm sure there's someone who can find a use for that as fuel or fertilizer."

----------


## Bhu

http://fc03.deviantart.net/fs13/f/20..._by_imamon.jpg

*Crocerocerous*
                      Huge Magical Beast
*Hit Dice:*             13d8+117 (188 hp)
*Initiative:*           +0
*Speed:*                40 ft. (8 squares)
*Armor Class:*          23 (-2 Size, +15 Natural), touch 8, flat-footed 23
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +13/+33
*Attack:*               Bite +23 melee (2d8+18)
*Full Attack:*          Bite +23 melee (2d8+18)
*Space/Reach:*          15 ft./10 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Improved Grab, Shred
*Special Qualities:*    Dark Vision 60 ft.
*Saves:*                Fort +16, Ref +8, Will +5
*Abilities:*            Str 34, Dex 10, Con 26, Int 3, Wis 12, Cha 12
*Skills:*               Listen +11, Spot +11
*Feats:*                Alertness, Cleave, Endurance, Improved Toughness, Power Attack
*Environment:*          Warm Plains or Marsh
*Organization:*         Solitary
*Challenge Rating:*     10
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          14-26 HD (Huge)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---


_"Bert...didn't we just do this?"_

After his success with the Zebrocerous, a certain nameless mage wanted something a little more traveling.  Something not limited to the Plains.  Mostly because he was fleeing the local grasslands for a swamp because it was a hell of a lot more defensible.  You can only be surprised by adventurers so many times before you think "Maybe my current location isn't ideal".  

*Improved Grab (Ex)*: If the Crocerocerous successfully hits with it's Bite attack, it may immediately make a Grapple Check as a Free Action without provoking an Attack of Opportunity.  If it is successful, it may do bite damage.  If it Pins the opponent it can use it's Shred ability.

*Shred (Ex)*: Each round that it successfully maintains a pin, the Croconocerous deals 4d8+36 damage to its victim

*Combat*: The Crocerocerous usually charges, goes for the bite, and begins ripping it's opponent a new one.





*Crocerocerous*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I will be interviewing Prak the Mad again, this time after his exile from the North."

*An Appetite With Legs*

"Sweet Jebus, you've been experimenting with Rhinos again..."

"I must protest Harlan, I wasn't exiled, I merely made a tactical retreat."

"So is this Big Stank's brother?"

"Tell me his name isn't Big Stank 2..."


*If Only It Could Swim*

"Have I become predictable?"

"Only a little.  I see you went for a crocodile mix this time.  Presumably to take advantage of the boggy nature of you're new home?"

"That was the thought, but unfortunately Big Stank 2 can't swim so well.  Thankfully, he's big enough to simply walk across the bog."

"Could you maybe convince him to stop chewing on the forcewall surrounding us?"

"Ah, I cannot, no..."

----------


## Bhu

http://imamon.deviantart.com/art/lla...21380653&qo=62

*Llamabird*
                      Large Magical Beast
*Hit Dice:*             6d10+12 (44 hp)
*Initiative:*           +3
*Speed:*                50 ft. (10 squares)
*Armor Class:*          17 (-1 Size, +3 Dex, +5 Natural), touch 12, flat-footed 14
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +6/+14
*Attack:*               Bite +9 melee (1d8+4/19-20)
*Full Attack:*          1 Bite +9 melee (1d8+4/19-20) and 2 Hooves +4 melee (1d4+2)
*Space/Reach:*          10 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      PTOOEY!
*Special Qualities:*    Low Light Vision
*Saves:*                Fort +7, Ref +8, Will +4
*Abilities:*            Str 18, Dex 16, Con 14, Int 2, Wis 14, Cha 10
*Skills:*              Listen +6, Spot +7
*Feats:*                Cold Endurance, Endurance, Run, Improved Critical (Beak)(B)
*Environment:*          Cold or Temperate Mountains
*Organization:*         Solitary, Pair, or Herd (10-100)
*Challenge Rating:*     4
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          7-12 HD (Large)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_"Bert...I do not like how that thing is looking at us..."_

In one of the most bizarre incidents of magical hybridization on record, the great wizard Sandaman decided that he needed some magical guardians, but all he had to work with were the massive Llama herds surrounding his mountains, and the occasional flock of birds.  So he said to hell with it and went for broke.  And thus  the Llamabirds were born.  He still had huge herds for feeding staff, and fur to make money while he was involved with higher pursuits.  It worked too.  Would be opponents are genuinely reticent to wade through the Llamabirds.

*PTOOEY! (ex)*: A Llamabird has can blind an opponent with it's spittle for 1d4 rounds if they fail a DC 15 Reflex Save (Save DC is Constitution Based).  This has a range of 30', is a Standard Action, and can be done a number of times per day equal to their Constitution Modifier.

*Combat*: Llamabirds will tend to watch potential enemies closely while making no move against them, and then hock a loogie into their eyes to blind them before charging.  Birds are mean, deceptive critters.




*Llamabird*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I will be touring Sandaman Ranches, located on the Great Dividing Mountains."

*As Close As You Can Get To Being Actively Malevolent Without Being Evil*

"And, shockingly, it hasn't been overrun by the Spider Clan."

"We credit the Llamabirds for that.  No one likes taking a hot loogy in the eye, 'specially if you got eight or more of 'em."

"So the experiment has been a success then?"

"What bird did he use in the mix?  Jebus that's vicious looking."


*Duck If They Clear Their Throat*

"They're amazingly popular as farm animals, and as badges of high weirdness.  All the craziest of mages are getting some."

"What colors do they come in?"

"Harlan, I am not taking care of these..."

----------


## Bhu

Todays critters all have their origins as requests


*Crowolf*
                      Medium Magical Beast
*Hit Dice:*             2d10+4 (15 hp)
*Initiative:*           +3
*Speed:*                50 ft. (10 squares)
*Armor Class:*          15 (+3 Dex, +2 Natural), touch 12, flat-footed 13
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +2/+3
*Attack:*               Bite +5 melee (1d6+1)
*Full Attack:*          Bite +5 melee (1d6+1)
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Eye Peck
*Special Qualities:*    Low Light Vision, Scent
*Saves:*                Fort +6, Ref +5, Will +1
*Abilities:*            Str 12, Dex 16, Con 15, Int 3, Wis 12, Cha 8
*Skills:*               Hide +4, Listen +3, Move Silently +4, Spot +3, Survival +6
*Feats:*                Alertness, Track (B), Weapon Finesse (B)
*Environment:*          Temperate Forest
*Organization:*         Solitary or Flock (8-16)
*Challenge Rating:*     2
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          3-4 HD (Medium) or by Character Class
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

"CAW!"

"Abner from now, I think I need to sit in on the contract negotiations."

Crowolves are the usual magically created guardians gotten loose in the wilds.  _Again. _ You'd think mages would learn from past mistakes like the Owlbear, but each one seems to believe they can succeed where others have failed.  Which is why we also have the Dire Crowolf...

*Eye Peck (Ex):* If the Crowolf successfully attacks an opponent who is Prone, Stunned, Paralyzed, Denied their Dex Bonus to AC, or Flat-footed their opponent must make a DC 14 Reflex Save (Save is Dex based) or be permanently blinded in one eye until Regeneration or a similar spell is cast on them.  This ruins depth perception until healed giving a -2 penalty on all Ranged Attacks until healed, or until the other eye is destroyed at which point the target is Blind.

*Skills:* Crowolves get a +2 Racial Bonus on Survival Checks.

*Combat:* Crowolves aren't much different from other wolves, except that with an Int of 3 they sometimes gain a level or two in Rogue or Scout, making them quite a bit more dangerous.




*Dire Crowolf*
                      Large Magical Beast
*Hit Dice:*             6d10+18 (46 hp)
*Initiative:*           +3
*Speed:*                50 ft. (10 squares)
*Armor Class:*          15 (-1 Size, +3 Dex, +3 Natural), touch 12, flat-footed 12
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +6/+17
*Attack:*               Bite +12 melee (1d8+10)
*Full Attack:*          Bite +12 melee (1d8+10)
*Space/Reach:*          10 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Eye Peck
*Special Qualities:*    Low Light Vision, Scent
*Saves:*                Fort +8, Ref +8, Will +4
*Abilities:*            Str 24, Dex 16, Con 16, Int 3, Wis 14, Cha 10
*Skills:*               Hide +5, Listen +4, Move Silently +5, Spot +4, Survival +7
*Feats:*               Alertness, Combat Reflexes, Run, Track (B)
*Environment:*        Temperate Forest
*Organization:*         Solitary or Flock (5-8)
*Challenge Rating:*     3
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*         7-12 HD (Large) or by Character Chass
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

*Eye Peck (Ex):* If the Crowolf successfully attacks an opponent who is Prone, Stunned, Paralyzed, Denied their Dex Bonus to AC, or Flat-footed their opponent must make a DC 14 Reflex Save (Save is Dex based) or be permanently blinded in one eye until Regeneration or a similar spell is cast on them.  This ruins depth perception until healed giving a -2 penalty on all Ranged Attacks until healed, or until the other eye is destroyed at which point the target is Blind.

*Skills:* Crowolves get a +2 Racial Bonus on Survival Checks.

*Combat:* The Dire Crowolf usually gains a level or so in a more martial class like Barbarian given it's size (assuming it's intelligent enough).







*Crowolf*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I will be on hand as Prak the Mad unveils his newest competitorr for the Owlbear."

*A Little Too Smart For Their Own Good*

"So.  Feathery black wolves with beaks.  I'm guessing a mix of crows and wolves?"

"Right you are, young Jim.  They're also the smartest hybrid critters I've made."

"So they're easy to train?"

"I wouldn't say easy, but once trained they are quite versatile.  You have to be careful or they get into things though."


*They Come In Biggie Sized Too*

"I'm surprised you didn't make giant ones too."

"Er...yes...well, about that..."

----------


## Bhu

*Dire Owlbear*
                      Huge Magical Beast
*Hit Dice:*             15d10+105 (160 hp)
*Initiative:*           +1
*Speed:*                40 ft. (8 squares)
*Armor Class:*          19 (-2 Size, +1 Dex, +10 Natural), touch 9, flat-footed 18
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +15/+33
*Attack:*               Claw +23 melee (2d6+10)
*Full Attack:*          2 Claws +23 melee (2d6+10) and 1 Bite +21 melee (2d6+5)
*Space/Reach:*          15 ft./10 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Improved Grab
*Special Qualities:*    Dark Vision 120 ft., Scent
*Saves:*                Fort +16, Ref +10, Will +6
*Abilities:*            Str 30, Dex 12, Con 25, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 12
*Skills:*               Listen +12, Spot +12
*Feats:*                Alertness, Diehard, Endurance, Multiattack, Run, Track
*Environment:*          Temperate Forests
*Organization:*         Solitary
*Challenge Rating:*     7
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          16-30 HD (Huge), 31-45 HD (Gargantuan)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

*"HOO!"*

"My name is Abner."

As if Owlbears weren't bad enough a group of drunken mages decided one evening "Hey let's screw with the local Druids and make giant ones, and release a horde of them to wipe things out so we can move in and take over to mine the ruins for artifacts without interference".  Then they sobered up.  Unfortunately, the prototypes were not only successful, the mages were also arrogant enough to dismiss them as no more harmful than regular Owlbears, so they turned them loose anyway.  They had approximately 1400 children within 5 years, and they're meaner and more disagreeable than ever. 

*Improved Grab (Ex):* If the Dire Owlbear successfully hits with it's Claw attack it can immediately make a Grapple Check as a Free Action without provoking an Attack of Opportunity.

*Combat:* Die Owlbears attack on sight.  Tactics are pretty much *RAWR* grab, bash, bash, bash.  You get the idea.





*Giant Owlbear*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I will be talking to Brob, a chief riival of Prak, and a successor to the Wizard Gargantua."

*Holy  Crap This Was Unnecessary*

"We understand iinstead of hybrids, you specialize in making giant versions of regular fauna?"

"And anything else that can't get away, yes.""

"So what's on today's menu?"

"And do I need the forcewall up before you unveil it?"."


*Yeah, You'll Need The Forcewall*

"Behold!  The Giant Owlbear!"

*"SHREEEEE!"*

"Who requested this?"

"You know...people..."

"You can teleport me out any time now Harlan."

----------


## Bhu

*Bearmaid*
                      Large Magical Beast (Aquatic)
*Hit Dice:*             4d10+12 (34 hp)
*Initiative:*           +1
*Speed:*                20 ft. (4 squares), Swim 40 ft.
*Armor Class:*          14 (-1 Size, +1 Dex, +4 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 13
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +4/+13
*Attack:*               Claw +8 melee (1d4+5)
*Full Attack:*          2 Claws +8 melee (1d4+5) and 1 Bite +3 melee (1d6+2)
*Space/Reach:*          10 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Improved Grab
*Special Qualities:*    Darkvision 60 ft., Scent, Amphibious
*Saves:*                Fort +7, Ref +5, Will +2
*Abilities:*            Str 20, Dex 13, Con 16, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 10
*Skills:*               Hide +1, Listen +4, Spot +4, Swim +14
*Feats:*                Alertness, Endurance
*Environment:*          Cold or Temperate Aquatic
*Organization:*         Solitary or Pair
*Challenge Rating:*     3
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          5-10 HD (Large), 11-20 HD (Gargantuan)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

"Bert, I'm not happy bout this.  I was hopin' to go fishin' today."

Bearmaids were an attempt at creating aquatic bears.  The Gods alone know what for, as regular bears are pretty decent swimmers already.  Apparently their creator thought quite highly of bears, and assumed they would be the perfect godless killing machines if only they were amphibious.  Bearmaids do not quite fit that description, as they are not inhuman avatars of destruction.  They have, however, wreaked havoc sometimes on etiologies they were introduced too.  Bearmaids appear to be large black bears with blue-grey scaly hides and fins, and a long fishlike tail.

*Improved Grab (Ex):* If the Bearmaid successfully hits with it's Claw attack it can immediately make a Grapple Check as a Free Action without provoking an Attack of Opportunity.

*Skills:* Bearmaids get a +8 Racial Bonus on Swim Checks, and can always Take 10 on a Swim Check.

*Combat:* Bearmaids tend to be primarily ambush predators waiting in the water, then opportunistic scavengers, and only occasionally hunters.  They are curious by nature, and it is possible to escape encounters with them without violence if they aren't hungry and you don't provoke them.





*Bearmaid*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I will be on hand as Prak the Mad unveils his newest counter to the Giant Owlbears."

*Perfect Godless Killing Machines*

"I'm just gonna prep the forcewall now..."

"No need young Jim.  My newest creation is under my total control."

"Is that what I think it is?"

"Indeed!  This is the Bearmaid! Half Bear! Half Mermaid!  It is an all-purpose avatar of destruction!"


*Prak...Buddy, We Need To Talk*

"I'm not sure this makes any more sense than the Giant Owlbear."

"Don't be silly, they're much more cost effective."

----------


## Bhu

*Cetus Rex*
                      Huge Magical Beast (Aquatic)
*Hit Dice:*             18d10+144 (243 hp)
*Initiative:*           +3
*Speed:*                Swim 30 ft. (6 squares)
*Armor Class:*          21 (-2 Size, -1 Dex, +14 Natural), touch 7, flat-footed 21
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +18/+36
*Attack:*               Bite +26 melee (2d8+15)
*Full Attack:*          Bite +26 melee (2d8+15)
*Space/Reach:*          15 ft./10 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Improved Grab, Swallow Whole, Sonic Boom
*Special Qualities:*    Darkvision 60 ft., Low-light Vision, Improved Scent, Blindsense 60 ft., Camouflage
*Saves:*                Fort +19, Ref +10, Will +8
*Abilities:*            Str 30, Dex 8, Con 26, Int 3, Wis 15, Cha 15
*Skills:*               Hide +2 (+8 in natural surroundings), Listen +12, Spot +12
*Feats:*                Alertness, Cleave, Improved Initiative, Improved Natural Attack (Bite), Power Attack, Skill Focus (Hide), Track
*Environment:*          Warm or Temperate Aquatic
*Organization:*         Solitary
*Challenge Rating:*     11
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          19-36 HD (Huge); 37-54 HD (Gargantuan)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

"You modified the Owlbear ritual for use with a Seahorse and a Tyrannosaur."

"Yes."

"So now we have an aquatic T-Rex that can hide itself?"

"Yes."

"Explain to me again how this is a good thing?"

The Cetus Rex looks like a Tyrannosaur from the waist up, a seahorse from the waist down, with a few random cosmetic mutations thrown in.   Proving once again that only Wizards have access to the truly good illegal alchemical compounds.  Stay away from drugs kids.  One day you're joining Wizard school, and the next you're competing to see who can make the hybrid most likely to be voted Abomination Before Man and Gawd.
*
Improved Grab (Ex):*T o use this ability, a Cetus Rex must hit an opponent of up to one size smaller with its bite attack. It can then attempt to start a grapple as a free action without provoking an attack of opportunity. If it wins the grapple check, it establishes a hold and can try to swallow the foe the following round.

*Swallow Whole (Ex):*  A Cetus Rex can try to swallow a grabbed opponent of up to two sizes smaller by making a successful grapple check. The swallowed creature takes 2d8+8 points of bludgeoning damage and 8 points of acid damage per round from the Cetus Rexs gizzard. A swallowed creature can cut its way out by using a light slashing or piercing weapon to deal 25 points of damage to the gizzard (AC 17). Once the creature exits, muscular action closes the hole; another swallowed opponent must cut its own way out.

A Huge Cetus Rexs gizzard can hold 2 Medium, 8 Small, 32 Tiny, or 128 Diminutive or smaller opponents. 

*Sonic Boom (Su):* As a Standard Action the Cetus Rex can breathe a 50 ft. cone of sonic energy once every 1d4 rounds.  It does 10d6 Sonic damage, but opponents can make a DC 27 Reflex Save to take half damage.  Additionally opponents who fail to Save are Deafened permanently, and Stunned 1 round.

*Improved Scent (Ex):* A Cetus Rex can notice creatures by scent in a 180-foot radius and detect blood in the water at ranges of up to a mile. 

*Camouflage (Ex):* A Cetus Rex can use the Hide skill in any sort of natural terrain, even if the terrain doesnt grant cover or concealment. 

*Skills:* The Cetus Rex has a +2 Racial Bonus to Hide, Listen and Spot Checks.  The Hide Bonus increases to +8 around seaweed, coral reefs and similar underwater areas,

*Combat:* Cetus Rex tend to hang out near coral reefs or seaweed beds where they can take advantage of their camouflage ability.  They like to wait until prey is close enough they can swallow one, and then blast the others with it's breath weapon.



*Cetus Rex*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I will be talking to Prak yet again."

*An Unusually Powerful Mutt*

"I take it the Bearmaid wasn't a best seller?"

"The public is cruel and fickle.  Let me warm up the palantir to view my newest aquatic creation."

"What's this one made of?"

"A little bit flesh-eating dinosaur, a little bit seahorse, and a little bit undetermined."

"Undetermined seems a little scary."


*Dragons of the Sargasso*

"Behold the magnificent Cetus Rex as it...er, well it appears to be attacking the local pirates I hired to keep my enemies away."

"What, no goofy name like Sea Rex?"

"I wanted it to sound spiffy for the clientele."

"Would that be them in the yacht it's blasting a hole in?"

"Dammit, Fluffy..."

----------


## Bhu

*Owl-Honey Badger*
                      Small Magical Beast
*Hit Dice:*             2d10+6 (17 hp, 21 hp when Raging)
*Initiative:*           +3
*Speed:*                30 ft. (6 squares), Burrow 10 ft.
*Armor Class:*          15 (+1 Size, +3 Dex, +1 Natural), touch 14, flat-footed 12
*Armor Class (Raging):*          13 (-2 Rage, +1 Size, +3 Dex, +1 Natural), touch 124, flat-footed 10
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +2/-2 (+4 Raging)
*Attack:*               Claw +3 melee (1d3)
*Attack (Raging):*               Claw +5 melee (1d3+2)
*Full Attack:*          2 Claws +3 melee (1d3) and 1 Bite -2 melee (1d3)
*Full Attack (Raging):*          2 Claws +5 melee (1d3+2) and 1 Bite +0 melee (1d3+1)
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Rage
*Special Qualities:*    Superior Low-Light Vision, Scent, Owl-Honey Badger Doesn't Care
*Saves:*                Fort +6 (+8 Raging), Ref +6, Will +1
*Abilities:*            Str 10 (14 Raging), Dex 17, Con 16 (20 Raging), Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 10
*Skills:*               Balance +3, Climb +3 (+5 Raging), Escape Artist +7, Listen +11, Spot +6
*Feats:*                Track, Weapon Finesse (B)
*Environment:*          Warm Plains and Forest
*Organization:*         Solitary
*Challenge Rating:*     1
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          3 HD (Small), 4-6 HD (Medium)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

It's unknown who first decided to magically hybridize Burrowing Owls with Honey Badgers, and for their sake it's probably for the best.  The Gnome Wizards from the magical College in Arrival are prime suspects, mostly because they can't stop laughing when the critters are mentioned.

*Rage (Ex):* An Owl-Honey Badger that takes damage in combat flies into a berserk rage on its next turn, clawing and biting madly until either it or its opponent is dead. It gains +4 to Strength, +4 to Constitution, and -2 to Armor Class. The creature cannot end its rage voluntarily. 

*Superior Low-Light Vision (Ex):* An Owl-Honey Badger can see five times as far as a human can in dim light. 

*Owl-Honey Badger Doesn't Care (Ex):* An Owl-Honey Badger can scorn death and unconsciousness while in a Rage.  As long as her Rage continues, she is not treated as disabled at 0 hit points, nor is she treated as dying at 1 to 9 hit points. Even if reduced to 10 hit points or less, she continues to fight normally until her Rage ends. At that point, the effects of her wounds apply normally if they have not been healed. This ability does not prevent death from massive damage or from spell effects such as slay living or disintegrate.  During Rage they are also Immune to Mind-Affecting effects, and take no Size Penalties to rolls of any kind.

*Skills:* Owl-Honey Badgers have a +8 racial bonus on Listen checks and a +4 racial bonus on Escape Artist and Spot checks. 

*Combat:*  Owl-Honey Badgers are most definitely not tacticians and generally jump into the fray without thinking.



*Owl-Honey Badger*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I are visiting a local competitor of Prak's to see the debut of, let me check my notes...the latest Owlbear variant."

"It's got nothin' ta do wit Bears.  It's a Badger Owl."

*Owl-Honey Badger Don't Care*

"What kind of Badger?"

"The kind wot likes honey."

"Better get that forcewall up Jim."


*No Fear*

"What are you lot afraid of, it's just badgers."

"Are you aware of the Honey Badgers reputation?"

"Pffft..it's oversold."

"Look, there's one now!"

"I'm out.  Good luck to ya."

"Wait, you never said what these things were for!"

----------


## Bhu

*Fire Succubi*
                      Medium Elemental (Chaotic, Extraplanar, Evil, Fire, Tanar'ri)
*Hit Dice:*             6d8+12 (39 hp)
*Initiative:*           +5
*Speed:*                40 ft. (8 squares)
*Armor Class:*          20 (+2 Dex, +8 Natural), touch 12, flat-footed 18
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +4/+5
*Attack:*               Slam +5 melee (1d6+1 plus 1d6 fire)
*Full Attack:*          2 Slams +5 melee (1d6+1 plus 1d6 fire)
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Burn, Aura, Spell-Like Abilities
*Special Qualities:*    Demonic Resilience, Darkvision 60 ft., Elemental traits, Immune to Electricity and Fire damage, DR 10/Cold Iron or Good, Energy Resistance 10 (Acid), SR 18
*Saves:*                Fort +7, Ref +7, Will +6
*Abilities:*            Str 13, Dex 15, Con 14, Int 10, Wis 12, Cha 20
*Skills:*               Bluff +11, Concentration +4, Diplomacy +11, Intimidate +5, Knowledge (any 1) +2, Listen +3, Search +2, Spot +3
*Feats:*                Dodge, Improved Invisibility, Mobility
*Environment:*          Abyss, Elemental Plane of Fire
*Organization:*         Solitary, Pair or Group (3-6)
*Challenge Rating:*     7
*Treasure:*             Standard
*Alignment:*            Chaotic Neutral or Evil
*Advancement:*          7-12 HD (Medium)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

"So...this is the new hotness..."

Fire Succubi are Demons magically crossed with Fire Elementals, used by Demons to sway said Elementals to their cause.  They appear as bald, nude humanoid women with horns and flaming red skin.  They don't speak much ironically, and aren't as bright as the masters of the Abyss hoped for.  They're still popular due to their Aura though.

*Burn (Su):*  A fire elementals slam attack deals bludgeoning damage plus fire damage from the elementals flaming body. Those hit by a fire elementals slam attack also must succeed on a DC 15 Reflex save or catch on fire. The flame burns for 1d4 rounds.  A burning creature can take a move action to put out the flame. The save DC is Constitution-based.  Creatures hitting a fire elemental with natural weapons or unarmed attacks take fire damage as though hit by the elementals attack, and also catch on fire unless they succeed on a Reflex save. Unlike other Fire Elementals, they are not Vulnerable to Cold damage.

*Aura (Su):* Often referred to as the Aura of Hawtness, any living thing that can see the Fire Succubi must make a DC 18 Willpower Save or want her to like them (Save DC is Cha based).  Generally this means they are compelled to not attack her unless she attacks first (which ends the Aura's effect).  Curiously this does not extend to her Burn ability, as many a would be paramour has hugged a Fire Succubi to death (they do at least get a Save each round they take damage  to end the Aura's effect.  A successful Save means the opponent is immune to this Fire Succubus' Aura for 24 hours.  This is a Mind-Affecting, Compulsion effect.

*Spell-Like Abilities (Sp):* At will: Charm Monster, Detect Good, Detect Thoughts, Plane Shift, Polymorph, Suggestion. Caster Level 12th.

*Demonic Resilience (Ex):* All the Fire Succubi Saves are Good Saves.

*Combat:*  Fire Succubi rely on their Aura.  If that doesn't work they try their SLA's.  Failing that, they Plane Shift.




*[size=14pt]Fire Succubi[/size]*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens! Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I are visiting local mage "Big Daddy" Faustivus."

*Recycled Minions*

"We understand you have some new minions for hire?"

"Naw, they're old.  We initially made them to seduce the government of the Elemental Plane of Fire, but since we're cut off from the other Planes we're hiring out to topple mortal governments."

"They look rather intimidating..."

"Harlan, why are we here?  We're a nature show."


*Everyone Wants What They Can't Have*

"Hey, this here is about nature.  Just of a different sort."

"Mutual of Gnomeahaw wants us to evaluate the threat they represent to policy holders Jim."

"Seriously?"

----------


## Bhu

*Trash Gryphons*

https://www.redbubble.com/people/til...trash-gryphons

It's unknown where Trash Gryphons come from.  No one takes credit for their creation, and they seem to fill a niche that implies they may have evolved naturally.  There are many species featuring different bird/mammal mixes, all of them living in or near civilized areas.  In theory they may even be domesticable, though they would make difficult pests.

*Pigeon Rat*
                      Tiny Magical Beast
*Hit Dice:*             1/2d10 (2 hp)
*Initiative:*           +2
*Speed:*                15 ft. (3 squares), Climb 15 ft., Swim 15 ft., Fly 50 ft.
*Armor Class:*          14 (+2 Size, +2 Dex), touch 14, flat-footed 12
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +1/-11
*Attack:*               Bite +5 melee (1d3-4)
*Full Attack:*          Bite +5 melee (1d3-4) and 2 Claws +0 melee (1d2-4)
*Space/Reach:*          2 1/2 ft./0 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Disease Carrier
*Special Qualities:*    Darkvision 60 ft., low-light vision, scent, Immune to Disease
*Saves:*                Fort +2, Ref +4, Will +1
*Abilities:*            Str 2, Dex 15, Con 10, Int 1, Wis 12, Cha 8
*Skills:*               Balance +10, Climb +10, Hide +17, Listen +3, Move Silently +9, Spot +3, Swim +10
*Feats:*                Stealthy (B), Weapon Finesse
*Environment:*          Any except desert
*Organization:*         Solitary or Pair
*Challenge Rating:*     1/4
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          ---
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

Pigeon Rats get little respect, and many consider them vermin of the sky.

*Disease Carrier (Ex):* When exposed to disease the Gryphon must make a Fortitude Save as usual.  If it fails it still doesn't suffer the effects of the disease.  It does now carry it as though infected though, so it can pass the disease as appropriate.

*Skills:* Rats have a +4 racial bonus on Hide and Move Silently checks, and a +8 racial bonus on Balance, and Climb checks. A rat can always choose to take 10 on Climb checks, even if rushed or threatened. A rat uses its Dexterity modifier instead of its Strength modifier for Climb and Swim checks. A rat has a +8 racial bonus on any Swim check to perform some special action or avoid a hazard. It can always choose to take 10 on a Swim check, even if distracted or endangered. It can use the run action while swimming, provided it swims in a straight line. 

*Combat:* Pigeon Rats are fearless, and will bite anything that gets close.


*Sparrow Mouse*
                      Diminutive Magical Beast
*Hit Dice:*             1/4d10 (2 hp)
*Initiative:*           +3
*Speed:*                15 ft. (3 squares), Climb 15 ft., Fly 20 ft.
*Armor Class:*          17 (+4 Size, +3 Dex), touch 17, flat-footed 14
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +1/-16
*Attack:*               Bite +8 melee (1d2-5)
*Full Attack:*          Bite +8 melee (1d2-5) 
*Space/Reach:*          1 ft./0 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Disease Carrier
*Special Qualities:*    Darkvision 60 ft., low-light vision, scent, Immune to Disease
*Saves:*                Fort +2, Ref +5, Will +1
*Abilities:*            Str 1, Dex 17, Con 10, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 8
*Skills:*               Balance +11, Climb +11, Hide +22, Listen +3, Move Silently +10, Spot +3, Swim +11
*Feats:*                Stealthy (B), Weapon Finesse
*Environment:*          Warm or Temperate Lands
*Organization:*         Solitary, Pair or Flock (10-100)
*Challenge Rating:*     1/4
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          ---
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

Sparrow Mice don't fare much better than Pigeon Rats.

*Disease Carrier (Ex):* When exposed to disease the Gryphon must make a Fortitude Save as usual.  If it fails it still doesn't suffer the effects of the disease.  It does now carry it as though infected though, so it can pass the disease as appropriate.

*Skills:* Mice have a +4 racial bonus on Hide and Move Silently checks, and a +8 racial bonus on Balance, Climb, and Swim checks. A mouse can always choose to take 10 on Climb checks, even if rushed or threatened. A mouse uses its Dexterity modifier instead of its Strength modifier for Climb and Swim checks. A mouse has a +8 racial bonus on any Swim check to perform some special action or avoid a hazard. It can always choose to take 10 on a Swim check, even if distracted or endangered. It can use the run action while swimming, provided it swims in a straight line.

*Combat:* Sparrow Mice generally flee unless they're cornered.


*Vulture Opossum*
                      Small Magical Beast
*Hit Dice:*             1d10+2 (7 hp)
*Initiative:*           +3
*Speed:*                20 ft. (4 squares), Climb 20 ft, Fly 60 ft. (Average)
*Armor Class:*          16 (+1 Size, +2 Dex, +2 Natural), touch 14, flat-footed 13
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +1/-
*Attack:*               Bite +4 melee (1d3-1)
*Full Attack:*          Bite +4 melee (1d3-1) and 2 Claws -1 melee (1d2-1)
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      -
*Special Qualities:*    Darkvision 60 ft., low-light vision, scent, Immune to Disease, Deathwatch, Feign Death, Venom Resistant
*Saves:*                Fort +4, Ref +4, Will +2
*Abilities:*            Str 8, Dex 15, Con 14, Int 2, Wis 14, Cha 6
*Skills:*               Balance +6, Climb +10, Disguise -2 (+6 Feign Death), Jump +2, Hide +6, Listen +4, Move Silently +4, Spot +6, Survival+6
*Feats:*                Track (B), Weapon Finesse
*Environment:*          Warm Plains
*Organization:*         Solitary, Pair or Kettle (3-10)
*Challenge Rating:*     1/2
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          ---
*Level Adjustment:*    2 HD (Small)

Vulture Opossums are loathed, as they seem to be able to sense death.

*Deathwatch Su):* Vulture Opossums permanently have the benefits of the Deathwatch spell

*Feign Death (Ex):* An opossum can play dead with great accuracy. It lies stiffly on its side and secretes a foul odor, so it looks and smells like a dead animal. Although able to smell, hear, and know what is going on, the opossum is effectively blind while feigning death.

A creature examining the opossum may attempt a Heal or Spot check opposed by the opossum's Disguise check to detect the ruse. The opossum gains a +8 circumstance bonus on Disguise checks to feign death.

*Venom Resistant (Ex):* Opossums have a +2 racial bonus on saves against poison.

*Skills:* Opossums have a +4 racial bonus on Balance, Spot and Survival checks. Opossums have a +8 racial bonus on Climb checks. They can use their Dexterity modifier instead of their Strength modifier for Climb, Jump and Swim checks. 

*Combat:* Vulture Opossums pretend to be dead against obviously powerful foes they can't fly away from, but they can be remarkably brave when hungry enough.


*Crow Raccoon*
                      Small Magical Beast
*Hit Dice:*             1d10 (5 hp)
*Initiative:*           +3
*Speed:*                20 ft. (4 squares), 20 ft Climb, Fly 60 ft. (Average)
*Armor Class:*          16 (+1 Size, +3 Dex, +2 Natural), touch 14, flat-footed 13
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +1/-
*Attack:*               Bite +5 melee (1d3-2)
*Full Attack:*          Bite +5 melee (1d3-2) and 2 Claws +0 melee (1d2-2)
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Bad Omen
*Special Qualities:*    Darkvision 60 ft., low-light vision, scent, Kleptomania, Immune to Disease/Poison
*Saves:*                Fort +2, Ref +5, Will +2
*Abilities:*            Str 6, Dex 17, Con 10, Int 2, Wis 14, Cha 6
*Skills:*               Balance +11, Climb +11, Hide +7, Listen +5, Move Silently +5, Spot +5, Survival +6
*Feats:*                Alertness (B), Weapon Finesse
*Environment:*          Any land
*Organization:*         Solitary, Pair or Flock (10-100)
*Challenge Rating:*     1/2
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          2 HD (Small)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

Crow Raccoons are considered bad luck, and for once the superstitious mob is right.

*Bad Omen (Su):* Anything adjacent to a Crow Raccoon is subjected to a Doom spell, DC 12 (Save DC has a +4 Racial Bonus).  

*Kleptomania (Ex):*  Crow Raccoons are curious and compulsive thieves.  If they see a shiny object or food they must make a DC 15 Willpower Save or try too snatch it and run off.

*Skills:* Raccoons have a +8 racial bonus on Balance and Climb checks and a +4 racial bonus on Listen and Survival checks. They can always choose to take 10 on Climb checks, even if rushed or threatened. They use their Dexterity modifier instead of their Strength modifier for Climb checks.

*Combat:*  Crow Raccoons go straight for the eyes.  They're mean little bastards.


*Ibis Possum*
                      Small Magical Beast
*Hit Dice:*             1d10 (5 hp)
*Initiative:*           +3
*Speed:*                20 ft. (4 squares), Climb 20 ft., Fly 50 ft. (Poor)
*Armor Class:*          16 (+1 Size, +3 Dex, +2 Natural), touch 14, flat-footed 13
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +1/-
*Attack:*               Bite +5 melee (1d3-2)
*Full Attack:*          Bite +5 melee (1d3-2) and 2 Claws +0 melee (1d2-2)
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      -
*Special Qualities:*    Darkvision 60 ft., low-light vision, scent, Wading, Wisdom
*Saves:*                Fort +2, Ref +5, Will +2
*Abilities:*            Str 6, Dex 17, Con 10, Int 3, Wis 15, Cha 8
*Skills:*               Balance +11, Climb +11, Jump +5, Hide +7, Listen +8, Move Silently +5, Spot +8, Survival +6
*Feats:*                Alertness (B), Weapon Finesse
*Environment:*          Warm Forest, Plains or Swamp
*Organization:*         Solitary, Pair or Flock (10-100)
*Challenge Rating:*     1/2
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          2 HD (Small)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

Ibis Possums are prized as pets, as they are considered good luck.

*Wisdom (Su):* Ibis Possums have a +1 Insight Bonus on Willpower Saving Throws against Illusion spells, and powers/abilities that duplicate their effects.

*Wading  (Ex):* Although it does not have a swim speed, an ibis suffers no movement penalty when walking through water less deep than the length of its legs. 

*Skills:* Possums have a +8 racial bonus on Balance and Climb checks and a +4 racial bonus on Listen, Spot and Survival checks. They can always choose to take 10 on Climb checks, even if rushed or threatened. They use their Dexterity modifier instead of their Strength modifier for Climb or Jump checks.

*Combat:* Ibis Possums try to flee unless they have no choice


*Bluejay Squirrel*
                      Diminutive Magical Beast
*Hit Dice:*             1/4d10 (2 hp)
*Initiative:*           +3
*Speed:*                10 ft. (2 squares), Climb 10 ft., Fly 40 ft. (Poor)
*Armor Class:*          17 (+4 Size, +3 Dex), touch 17, flat-footed 14
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +1/-
*Attack:*               Bite +8 melee (1d3-5)
*Full Attack:*          Bite +8 melee (1d3-5) and 2 Claws +3 melee (1d2-5)
*Space/Reach:*          1 ft./0 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      -
*Special Qualities:*    Darkvision 60 ft., low-light vision, scent, Servitor of Fiends
*Saves:*                Fort +2, Ref +5, Will +2
*Abilities:*            Str 1, Dex 17, Con 10, Int 3, Wis 14, Cha 8
*Skills:*               Balance +11, Climb +11, Hide +15, Jump +11, Listen +2, Move Silently +3, Spot +2
*Feats:*                Run (B), Weapon Finesse
*Environment:*          Warm or Temperate Forest
*Organization:*         Solitary, Pair 
*Challenge Rating:*     1/3
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          ---
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

Bluejay Squirrels are rumored to be the friends of Fiends.  Probably cause Fiends pop up around them.

*Servitor of Fiends (Su):* There is a 35% chance when attacked or scared that the Bluejay Squirrel causes a Lemure to appear.  This is otherwise identical to Summon Monster I (Caster Level is 5th).

*Skills:*  Squirrels have a +8 bonus racial bonus on Balance, Climb, and Jump checks. A squirrel can always choose to take 10 on Climb and Balance checks, even if rushed or threatened, and always counts as having a running start when using the Jump skill. A squirrel uses its Dexterity modifier instead of its Strength modifier for Climb and Jump checks.

*Combat:* Bluejay Squirrels are notoriously territorial, and dive bomb anyone approaching their nest. 


*Magpie Skunk*
                      Small Magical Beast
*Hit Dice:*             1d10 (5 hp)
*Initiative:*           +2
*Speed:*                20 ft. (4 squares), Burrow 5 ft., Fly 40 ft. (Average)
*Armor Class:*          13 (+1 Size, +2 Dex), touch 13, flat-footed 11
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +1/-
*Attack:*               Bite +4 melee (1d3-4)
*Full Attack:*          Bite +4 melee (1d3-4) and 2 Claws -1 melee (1d2-4)
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Spray
*Special Qualities:*    Darkvision 60 ft., low-light vision, scent
*Saves:*                Fort +2, Ref +4, Will +2
*Abilities:*            Str 3, Dex 15, Con 10, Int 2, Wis 14, Cha 8
*Skills:*               Hide +6, Intimidate +6, Listen +3, Move Silently +6, Spot +3, Survival +4
*Feats:*                Skill Focus (Intimidate)(B), Weapon Finesse
*Environment:*          Warm or Temperate Forest
*Organization:*         Solitary, Pair or Flock (10-100)
*Challenge Rating:*     1/2
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          2 HD (Small)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

Magpie Skunks are more feared than regular skunks (they can fly after all).

*Spray (Ex):* Once per round and no more than three times per day, a skunk can emit a line of yellowish sulfuric liquid to a range of 5 feet. A creature in the area must make a successful Reflex save (DC 12) or be blinded and nauseated for 1d4 rounds. The save DC is Constitution-based and includes a +2 racial bonus. A delay poison or neutralize poison spell removes the effects from a nauseated creature.

Creatures with immunity to poison are unaffected by the nauseating effects of skunk musk but are still blinded if they fail their save. Additionally, the target suffers a -10 circumstance penalty to Hide checks while wearing clothes or armor contaminated with skunk musk. The creature also suffers a -4 circumstance penalty to all Charisma-based skill checks while wearing contaminated clothes or carrying contaminated gear.

Flesh, leather goods, metal goods (weapons, armor, and the like) must be washed in a concentrated mixture of vinegar over a period of three days in order to fully remove the stench of skunk musk. The prestidigitation spell cannot clean items stained by skunk musk.

*Skills:* Skunks have a +4 Racial Bonus on Intimidate and Move Silently Checks.

*Combat:* Magpie Skunks are generally pretty chill unless you make sudden moves towards them or make loud noises.  Then they spray, spray, spray.


*Starling Cat*
                      Tiny Magical Beast
*Hit Dice:*             1/2d10 (2 hp)
*Initiative:*           +2
*Speed:*                30 ft. (6 squares), Climb 20 ft., Fly 40 ft. (Average)
*Armor Class:*          14 (+2 Size, +2 Dex), touch 14, flat-footed 12
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +1/-
*Attack:*               Bite +5 melee (1d3-4)
*Full Attack:*          Bite +5 melee (1d3-4) and 2 Claws +0 melee (1d2-4)
*Space/Reach:*          2 1/2 ft./0 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      -
*Special Qualities:*    Darkvision 60 ft., low-light vision, scent, Mimicry
*Saves:*                Fort +2, Ref +4, Will +1
*Abilities:*            Str 3, Dex 15, Con 10, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 8
*Skills:*               Balance +10, Climb +6, Hide +16, Jump +10, Listen +3, Move Silently +8, Spot +3
*Feats:*                Stealthy (B), Weapon Finesse
*Environment:*          Any non-Desert land
*Organization:*         Solitary, Pair or Flock (10-100)
*Challenge Rating:*     1/4
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          ---
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

Starling Cats are also popular pets, and quite affectionate.

*Mimicry (Ex):* The Starling Cat can use Ghost Sound and Ventriloquism at will as Supernatural Abilities.

*Skills:* Cats have a +4 racial bonus on Climb, Hide, and Move Silently checks and a +8 racial bonus on Jump checks. Cats have a +8 racial bonus on Balance checks. They use their Dexterity modifier instead of their Strength modifier for Climb and Jump checks. *In areas of tall grass or heavy undergrowth, the Hide bonus rises to +8. 

*Combat:*  Starling Cats are pretty much like any stray cat really.

----------


## Bhu

*Trash Gryphons*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I are on site at Prak's latest laboratory, where he is being accused of malfeasance."

*But They're So Adorable!*

"Rumor has it the waste from your experiments with the Owlbear formula has spawned a few unplanned critters"

"Look everyone makes mistakes.  Some of the formula leaked, local wildlife got into it...really, it's all under control."

"The newly created critters have caused multiple incidents sir!"

"People are exaggerating the size and scope of things Harlan."

"The skies are black with Weasel Chickens Prak.""


*Gotta Catch Em' All*

"No worries good sirs, my daughter is on the case.  She wants some new pets."

*"CRITTERS!"*

"Yeahh, good luck with that...."

----------


## Bhu

*Penguin Seal*
                      Small Magical Beast
*Hit Dice:*             1d10 (5 hp)
*Initiative:*           +2
*Speed:*                10 ft. (6 squares), Swim 40 ft.
*Armor Class:*          14 (+1 Size, +1 Dex, +2 Natural), touch 14, flat-footed 12
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +1/-
*Attack:*               Bite +2 melee (1d3-1)
*Full Attack:*          Bite +2 melee (1d3-1) 
*Space/Reach:*         5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      -
*Special Qualities:*    Darkvision 60 ft., low-light vision, Hold Breath
*Saves:*                Fort +2, Ref +4, Will +1
*Abilities:*            Str 8, Dex 12, Con 12, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 6
*Skills:*               Listen +3, Spot +3, Swim +7
*Feats:*                Endurance, Weapon Finesse (B)
*Environment:*          Cold Aquatic
*Organization:*         Flock (11-30)
*Challenge Rating:*     1/2
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          ---
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

Penguin Seals are fish stealing miscreants.

*Hold Breath (Ex):* A Penguin Seal can hold its breath for a number of rounds equal to 6 × its Constitution score before it risks drowning.

*Skills:* Penguin Seals have a a +8 racial bonus on any Swim check to perform some special action or avoid a hazard.  They can always choose to take 10 on a Swim check, even if distracted or endangered. They can use the run action while swimming, provided they swims in a straight line.

*Combat:*  Penguin Seals generally flee for the water rather than fight.




*Penguin Seal*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom we're in Lumi, with Prak and his daughter ince again!"

*Gosh Darn Pitchfork Bearing Mobs*
"So you've relocated your lab again after the Gryphon incident?"

"Yup.  On the plus side my daughter enjoys the snow."

"What are those creatures over therre Prak?  Goodness man, have you learned nothing?"

"I'm afraid you can blame my daughter for these."

*Bringing the Jiggle*
"Viewers are of course familiar with the previous incident."

"Your daughter deliberately made a new Trash Gryphon?  Why?."

"Because they're all flubbery and huggable."

----------


## Bhu

*Dire Duck*
                      Medium Animal
*Hit Dice:*             3d8+3 (16 hp)
*Initiative:*           +1
*Speed:*                25 ft. (5 squares), Swim 30 ft., Fly 80 ft. (Average)
*Armor Class:*          13 (+1 Dex, +2 Natural), touch 11, flat-footed 12
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +2/+2
*Attack:*               Bite +3 melee (1d6)
*Full Attack:*          Bite +3 melee (1d6)
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      -
*Special Qualities:*    Low Light Vision, Hold Breath
*Saves:*                Fort +3, Ref +4, Will +2
*Abilities:*            Str 11, Dex 13, Con 12, Int 2, Wis 13, Cha 10
*Skills:*               Listen +4, Spot +4, Swim +8
*Feats:*                Endurance, Weapon Finesse
*Environment:*          Any Warm or Temperate except Desert
*Organization:*         Solitary, Pair, or Flock (5-30)
*Challenge Rating:*     1
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:* 
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_"Bert...Bert ah heers suthin' outside.."_

_"Would you calm down?  You always get nervous when we rob people."_

_"But this farm smells like duck poop.  And pappy allways said never to rob a farm what smells like duck poop."_

The origin of Dire Ducks is unknown.  In recent times some of them have been domesticated, and are raised as guard animals on farms.  They are surprisingly well suited to the role, being abnormally sassy given that they're, well, ducks.

*Skills*: Ducks gain a +8 Racial Bonus on Swim checks, and may always Take 10 on a Swim Check.  They may also use the Run action while swimming provided they swim in a straight line.

*Combat*: Ducks like to run at foes quacking and raising hell in an attempt to intimidate them (which usually doesn't work), and then proceed to bite before fleeing out of range of the opponent, and then going back in to bite again.




*Giant Duck*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom we'll be taking a look at the works of local farmer wizard John "El Monstruo" Sherman, and his continuing work on the Gargantua Principle."

*Release The Quacken*
"We understand your first project species are ducks.   Why ducks?"

"Well aside from being food animals, they make great guard animals.  They raise nine kinds of hell if anything gets within a mile of this place."

"Have you domesticated them?"

"In theory..."

*Sassy*
"What's the most difficult part of your new found business?"

"Convincing the little (beep) to nest here and not fly away."

----------


## Bhu

*Dire Chicken*
                      Large Animal
*Hit Dice:*             5d8+15 (37 hp)
*Initiative:*           +2
*Speed:*                40 ft. (8 squares), Fly 60 ft. (Clumsy)
*Armor Class:*          15 (-1 Size, +2 Dex, +4 Natural), touch 11, flat-footed 13
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +3/+11
*Attack:*               Peck +6 melee (1d8+4)
*Full Attack:*          1 Peck +6 melee (1d8+4) and 2 Claws +6 melee (1d6+2)
*Space/Reach:*          10 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Flying Charge
*Special Qualities:*    Low Light Vision, Short Term Flight
*Saves:*                Fort +7, Ref +6, Will +2
*Abilities:*            Str 18, Dex 15, Con 16, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 7
*Skills:*               Listen +4, Search +6, Spot +4
*Feats:*                Improved Multiattack, Multiattack
*Environment:*          Any Temperate or Warm except Aquatic
*Organization:*         Solitary or Flock (10-30)
*Challenge Rating:*     3
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          6-10 HD (Large)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_"YAY!!! CHIKINS!!!_

_"Much as our niece enjoys this here farm Abner, Ah can't trust a man raises giant chikins."_

_"Yup."_

Dire Chickens were a once rare farm animal escaped into the wild.  Subsequently they bred out of control and are now massive pests.

*Flying Charge (Ex)*: When the Dire Chicken charges it uses it's Flight Speed to gain momentum, launching itself onto it's opponent in the air.  It makes a Full Attack with the charge, and it's opponent must make a DC 12 Willpower Save (Save DC is 10 plus half Hit Dice plus Cha Modifier plus a +2 Racial Bonus) or be Shaken for 1d6 rounds.

*Short Term Flight (Ex)*: A Chicken can fly for (3 plus Constitution Modifier) rounds before it must land and rest.  It gains altitude half as quickly as other fliers do as well, but it may subtract 20' from any fall before calculating damage.

*Skills*: Dire Chickens gain a +8 Racial Bonus to Search Checks.

*Combat*: Dire Chickens usually fly sharp-bits-first right into opponents.  Many adventurers refer to them as "the worlds tastiest flying saw".





*Giant Chickens*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom we'll be taking a look at Farmer John's efforts to solve the various hunger crises around the world."

*BAWK!*
"Holy crap, are those chickens?"

"Yessir.  One of my bigger successes."
"Sir, are you aware of what they are believed to be descended from?"

"You two scare of a few chickens?"

*Fat Birb T-Rex*
"I have a cube of force.  I fear no chicken."

"Please.  How often have you had to use that versus mere farm animals?"

"Far more often than I'd like..."

----------


## Bhu

*Dire Cow*
                      Huge Animal
*Hit Dice:*             12d8+60 (114 hp)
*Initiative:*           +0
*Speed:*                40 ft. (8 squares)
*Armor Class:*          18 (-2 Size, +10 Natural), touch 8, flat-footed 18
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +9/+27
*Attack:*               WHAP! +17 melee (2d8+15)
*Full Attack:*          WHAP! +17 melee (2d8+15)
*Space/Reach:*          15 ft./10 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Trample (3d8+15), Stampede
*Special Qualities:*    Low Light Vision, Scent
*Saves:*                Fort +13, Ref +8, Will +5
*Abilities:*            Str 30, Dex 10, Con 20, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 10
*Skills:*               Listen +11, Spot +10
*Feats:*                Alertness, Endurance, Improved Bull Rush, Large and in Charge, Power Attack
*Environment:*          Temperate Plains
*Organization:*         Solitary, or Herd (4-12)
*Challenge Rating:*     7
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          13-18 HD (Huge), 19-24 HD (Gargantuan)
*Level Adjustment:*     ----

*MOO!*

_"Bert I blame you for this."_

_"Blame me for what?  Nuthin's happened yet."_

*MOO!*

_"Giant cows Bert? Have we learned nuthin' in our travels?"_

*MOO!*

_"So you think herding the Dire Cows was a bad idea?"_

_"No I think it's  perfectly fine"_

_"Well what..."_

_"OF COURSE I THINK IT'S A BAD IDEA DAMMIT!"_

*MOO!*

Dire Cows were a well meaning Wizard experiment on creating more food.  They forgot that bigger cows need more feed though.  So while there's lots more milk and beef, you really need to have a buttload of hay (or whatever you feed cows).  It's easier to let them roam wild and find their own food and hunt them down when you need one for dinner.  But letting them run free can be dangerous (although it's not exactly easy to pen them up at their size).

*Trample (Ex)*: DC 26 Reflex Save for half damage (Save DC is Str Based).

*Stampede (Ex)*: If Dire Cattle get spooked they will stampede, royally screwing up the day of anyone in their path.  Anything in the path of the Stampede takes 3d8+15 damage for every 2 cows in the herd, with a DC 26 Reflex Save for half damage (Save DC is Str Based).

*Combat*: Dire Cattle usually kick, headbutt or just squash anything much smaller than them.  If it's large or bigger, or makes lots of sudden noise they stampede.




*Giant Cow*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom we'll be taking a look at Farmer John's prize winning cow."

*MOO!*
"Sweet Jebus..."

"Big 'un ain't she?"

"How can you afford to feed her?"

"I can't.  She pretty much goes where she wants to for food."

*Don't Make Any Sudden Noises*
"How do you get her to come back?"

"She feels safe here at night."

"Really?"

----------


## Bhu

*Dire Turkey*
                      Huge Animal
*Hit Dice:*             10d8+50 (95 hp)
*Initiative:*           +2
*Speed:*                40 ft. (8 squares), Fly 60 ft. (Clumsy)
*Armor Class:*          16 (-2 Size, +2 Dex, +6 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 14
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +7/+22
*Attack:*               Peck +12 melee (2d6+9)
*Full Attack:*          Peck +12 melee (2d6+9) 
*Space/Reach:*          15 ft./10 ft.
*Special Attacks:*     Blind Panic
*Special Qualities:*    Low Light Vision, Short Term Flight
*Saves:*                Fort +11, Ref +9, Will +4
*Abilities:*            Str 24, Dex 15, Con 18, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 12
*Skills:*               Listen +10, Spot +9
*Feats:*                Alertness, Endurance, Improved Toughness, Reckless Charge
*Environment:*          Temperate Forest
*Organization:*         Solitary or Flock (4-6)
*Challenge Rating:*     5
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          11-20 HD (Huge)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---


_"We're gonna eat good t'night Abner..."_


Dire Turkeys are massive gobbling fiends who actively repress the local peasants by chasing them about when they gather nuts in the forest.  Or at least that's what the local peasants claim.  The starving, slightly wounded peasants carrying bird hunting bows...

*Blind Panic (Ex)*: Whenever a Dire Turkey is subject to a Fear effect or Morale Penalty it completely freaks out and runs down the source of the fear, before fleeing into the distance.  This is a Charge attack doing 4d6+14 damage if it is successful.  If it hits, the victim must make a DC 22 Fortitude Save (Save DC is 10 plus half HD plus Str Modifier) or be knocked Prone and Dazed 1 round.

*Short Term Flight (Ex)*: A Dire Turkey can fly for (3 plus Constitution Modifier) rounds before it must land and rest.  It gains altitude half as quickly as other fliers do as well, but it may subtract 20' from any fall before calculating damage.

*Combat*: Dire Turkeys usually charge in an attempt to back opponents off.  Or they go screeching into the forest.  One of the two.




*Giant Turkeys*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom we'll be finishing up our tour of Farmer John's animal husbandry program."

*GOBBLEOBBLEOBBLE!*
"Somehow I just knew it would be turkeys..."

"Hssh.  They're very sensitive to loud noises and criticism.  We don't wanna spark a panic."

"Never fear good sir.  Jim is alays equipped with Mutual of Gnomeahaw's trusty cube of force!"

"Oh yeah.  Still I'd leave them well enough alone."

*TREE CULTISTS?*

"So why are they endlessly circling that tree to the accompaniment of chanting?"

"Have I mentioned we also have a pet business?"

"Only as an obvious dodge to my question..."

----------


## Bhu

*Dire Bunnies*
                      Large Animal
*Hit Dice:*             6d8+18 (45 hp)
*Initiative:*           +3
*Speed:*                50 ft. (10 squares), Burrow 20 ft.
*Armor Class:*          16 (-1 Size, +3 Dex, +4 Natural), touch 12, flat-footed 13
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +4/+11
*Attack:*               Claw +6 melee (1d6+3)
*Full Attack:*          2 Claws +6 melee (1d6+3) and 1 Bite +1 melee (1d6+1)
*Space/Reach:*          10 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Improved Grab, Rake (1d6+3)
*Special Qualities:*    Low Light Vision, Immune to Nausea, Magic Tinkering, Scent, Scamper
*Saves:*                Fort +8, Ref +8, Will +4
*Abilities:*            Str 16, Dex 16, Con 16, Int 2, Wis 14, Cha 10
*Skills:*               Jump +11, Listen +13, Spot +8
*Feats:*                Alertness, Fleet of Foot, Run
*Environment:*          Temperate Forests or Plains
*Organization:*         Solitary, Pair, Group (4-8), Colony (Several thousand)
*Challenge Rating:*     4
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          6-9 HD (Large), 10-18 HD (Huge), 19-36 HD (Gargantuan), 37+ HD (Colossal)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---


"Mommie I found a bunny can I keep 'im."

"HOLY (BEEP)!!!"

"Mommie you always told me I wasn't 'sposed to use that word..."


Rumor has it that Dire Bunnies began as either a drunken joke, or the result of a mad farming mage who wanted a bigger food source.  If so the joke was on him.  A diet of pure rabbit meat can lead to a condition known as "rabbit starvation", and they mindlessly reproduce much quicker than sheep or cattle.  Some are extwa fwuffy though, so their fur is quite prized.  they aren't as good at burrowing as their regular sized cousins, but they can still scamper quite fast.

*Improved Grab (Ex)*: If a Dire Rabbit hits with it's Claw Attack, it may immediately make a Grapple Check as a Free Action without provoking an Attack of Opportunity.  If successful it may Rake.

*Rakes (Ex)*: In a Grapple the Dire Rabbit has 2 Rake Attacks +6 to hit doing 1d6+3 damage.

*Immune to Nausea (Ex)*: Due to their odd digestive system, rabbits cannot vomit, and so are immune to being Sickened/Nauseated.

*Magic Tinkering (Ex)*: Unlike most Dire Animals, Dire Rabbits come about as a result of magic used to increase their potential (much like Magebred horses in Eberron).  Unfortunately it went awry, and instead Dire Rabbits continue to grow with age.  Maximum size and age are currently unknown.

*Scamper (Ex)*: If it wishes to flee a Dire Rabbit can temporarily increase it's Land Speed to 80 ft for (3+Constitution Modifier) rounds.  Once it Scampers it is Fatigued and may not scamper again until it has rested.

*Skills*: Dire Rabbits have a +8 Racial Bonus on Jump checks.  They also have a +4 Racial Bonus on Listen checks.

*Combat*: Bunnies are much like cats in that they prefer to grab hold and rake.



*Elder Dire Bunnies*
                      Super Deluxe Extra Biggie Sized "Hep Me Jebus" Animal
*Hit Dice:*             100d8+1500 (1950 hp)
*Initiative:*           +8
*Speed:*                70 ft. (14 squares)
*Armor Class:*          34 (-16 Size, +40 Natural), touch 0, flat-footed 34
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +75/+115
*Attack:*               Claw +85 melee (8d6+20/19-20)
*Full Attack:*          2 Claws +85 melee (8d6+20/19-20) and 1 Bite +85 melee (8d6+10/19-20)
*Space/Reach:*          100 ft./65 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Improved Grab, Rake (8d6+20)
*Special Qualities:*    Low Light Vision, Immune to Nausea, Magic Tinkering, Scent, Scamper, Invulnerability 20/-
*Saves:*                Fort +67, Ref +52, Will +39
*Abilities:*            Str 50, Dex 10, Con 40, Int 2, Wis 14, Cha 40
*Skills:*               Jump +40, Listen +40, Search +19, Spot +40
*Feats:*                Alertness, Awesome Blow, Blind-Fight, Cleave, Daunting Presence (Lords of Madness), Defensive Sweep (PHB2), Devastating Critical (Bite, Claw, Epic), Dire Charge (Epic), Endurance, Epic Endurance, Epic Prowess x5, Epic Will, Fleet of Foot (Complete Warrior), Great Cleave, Hear the Unseen (Complete Adventurer), Improved Bull Rush, Improved Critical (Claw, Bite), Improved Initiative, Improved Multiattack, Multiattack, Overwhelming Assault (PHB2), Overwhelming Critical (Bite, Claw, Epic), Power Attack, Run, Superior Initiative (Epic), Weapon Focus (Claw, Bite)  1 more
*Environment:*          Temperate Forests or Plains
*Organization:*         Solitary
*Challenge Rating:*     37
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          101+ HD (Big)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_"Lookit it...just standin' aout there...wigglin' it's nose...it's EVIL I tells ya!"_

_" Bob...it's a rabbit...they all do that."_

_It'll be a'comin' fer our alfalfa fields...Ah knows it...Ah'm psychic that way..."_

_" Bob...rabbits eat alfalfa."_

_"Guess it's up to me to stop it!!"_

10 minutes later:

_"Dude...what the hell is Bob doing?  Is he attacking a 300 foot tall rabbit with a hoe?"_

_"Yeah.  Good thing the rabbit hasn't even noticed him.  Oh wait I think it just sniffed him..."_

*BOOM*

_"Well...guess we won't have to bail Bob out of jail anymore..."_

Some Dire Rabbits get old enough to become truly gigantic.  Many an adventurer have been goaded into attacking one to avoid being called a chicken.  Not many of them survive the dare.  Those who do have one really lucky rabbits foot necklace (which requires some sort of magical levitation device to tow around).

*Invulnerability (Ex):* Invulnerability is similar to Damage Reduction, but it also blocks damage from energy attacks, spells, spell-like abilities, and supernatural abilities.  For example the Elder Dire Bunny has Invulnerability 20.  That means it negates the first 20 points of damage from any attack (this includes untyped damage).

*Combat:* Dire Elder Bunnies rarely need to attack.  They're less an opponent than a mobile aspect of nature.







*Giant Bunnies*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom we'll be looking at the pets Farmer John has for sale."

*More Dangerous Than They Appear*
"Rabbits?  You made Giant Rabbits?  Aren't the regular ones big enough pest now?"

"Bunnies are surprisingly loyal to owners who treat them well.  They've successfully defended many a peasant froom wolves or coyotes."

"Are there any difficulties with them?"

"There is a kink we haven't quite worked out..."

*OH CRAP*

"What might that be?"

"They grow bigger with age.  But it's not like they're immortal.  What's the worst that could happen"

----------


## Bhu

*Dire Hamster*
                      Small Animal
*Hit Dice:*             1d8 (4 hp)
*Initiative:*           +1
*Speed:*                30 ft. (6 squares), Burrow 20 ft., Climb 15 ft.
*Armor Class:*          13 (+1 Size, +1 Dex, +1 Natural), touch 12, flat-footed 12
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +0/-5
*Attack:*               Nibble +1 melee (1d3-1)
*Full Attack:*          Nibble +1 melee (1d3-1)
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Wrasslin'
*Special Qualities:*    Low Light Vision, Rubber Spine
*Saves:*                Fort +2, Ref +3, Will +1
*Abilities:*            Str 8, Dex 13, Con 10, Int 2, Wis 13, Cha 8
*Skills:*               Climb +9, Escape Artist +9, Hide +5, Listen +6, Search +1, Spot +2
*Feats:*                Weapon Finesse
*Environment:*          Any Warm or Temperate except Aquatic or Marsh
*Organization:*         Solitary, Pair, or Colony (10-50)
*Challenge Rating:*     1/4
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          ---
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_"Where the hell is that halfling with our dinner? Check the kitchen Bert."_

10 minutes later

_He's wrasslin' a 40 pound hamster over a carrot Bob."_

_"Friggin' hamsters...HEY JIMMY!! QUIT MESSIN' AROUND AND MAKE SOME FOOD ALREADY!"_

Dire Hamsters are dangerous, just not in the traditional sense.  They aren't particularly powerful, but they breed quick, they always seem hungry, and a colony of them can wipe out a farm community pretty quick.

*Wrasslin' (Ex)* Hamsters love to wrestle over food or mates.  They may attempt a Grapple check without provoking an Attack of Opportunity.

*Rubber Spine (Ex)*: Hamsters subtract 10 feet from the distance of any fall before figuring up falling damage.

*Skills (Ex)*: Hamsters have a +4 Racial Bonus on Listen and Search checks.  They also have a +8 Racial Bonus on Climb and Escape Artist checks, and may always Take 10 on a Climb Check.  They may use their Strength or Dexterity Modifier for Climb Checks, whichever is better.

*Combat*: Hamsters will grapple opponents their own size or smaller, but generally flee other opponents unless their pups are threatened.



*Giant Hamsters*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom we'll be looking at the pets Farmer Johns...Giant...Hamters."

*Everything Is Potentially a Nom*
"Surely these would be voracious devourers of grain were they to get loose in the wild?"

"We don't intend for that to happen."

"Famous last words for many a mage."

"Good sir, I have the backing of shrewd investors.  They know a safe bet when they see it."

*I'll Wrassle You Fer That Carrot*

"Why is that one staring us down?"

"Well, some of them are kind of territorial..."

----------


## Bhu

*Dire Guinea Pig*
                      Medium Animal
*Hit Dice:*             2d8 (9 hp)
*Initiative:*           +1
*Speed:*                30 ft. (6 squares), Burrow 10 ft., Swim 20 ft.
*Armor Class:*          13 (+1 Dex, +2 Natural), touch 11, flat-footed 12
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +1/+1
*Attack:*               Nibble +2 melee (1d4)
*Full Attack:*          Nibble +2 melee (1d4)
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      -
*Special Qualities:*    Low Light Vision, Scent
*Saves:*                Fort +3, Ref +4, Will +2
*Abilities:*            Str 11, Dex 12, Con 11, Int 3, Wis 14, Cha 8
*Skills:*               Hide +2, Jump +2,  Listen +8, Spot +2, Swim +8
*Feats:*                Weapon Finesse
*Environment:*          Warm or Temperate Plains
*Organization:*         Solitary, Pair, or Colony (10-50)
*Challenge Rating:*     1/6
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          ---
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_"Why is the ground rumbling?  What the hell is that squeaking noise?"_

Dire Guinea Pigs are either the pets of odder than usual Giants, or livestock animals for smaller humanoid races who have been brave enough to steal them from Giants and raise them on their own.  Few towns are insane enough to steal a Giants beluved pet, so quite frankly most of the humanoids you'll encounter raising these will be pretty freaky too.  Let's face it, what kind of insane whackadoo steals the pets of something that can squish them without a second thought?

*Skills*: Guinea Pigs have a +4 Racial Bonus to Listen Checks, and a +8 Racial Bonus to Swim Checks.

*Combat*: Guinea Pigs run, they don't fight.  If they're cornered or defending their kids they'll put on a show, but they aren't really great combatants.  Fortunately, as they are pets, combat is rare.




*Giant Guinea Pigs*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom we'll be continuing our adventures with Farmer John."

*Surprisingly Brave For Furry Potatoes*
"I've had regular Guinea Pigs.  They can be awful short tempered about the quality of their food..."

"That's why we also market Farmer Johns Perfect Piggie Rations!"

"Saw that coming..."


*Crops? What Crops?*

"Again, wouldn't these be devastating to crops if they were to get loose?"

"Why does everyone think so little of our security? We only employee the finest, most experienced Gremlins."

----------


## Bhu

*Dire Swan*
                      Medium Animal
*Hit Dice:*             3d8+6 (19 hp)
*Initiative:*           +2
*Speed:*                30 ft. (6 squares), Swim 30 ft., Fly 80 ft. (Average)
*Armor Class:*          15 (+2 Dex, +3 Natural), touch 12, flat-footed 13
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +2/+4
*Attack:*               Bite +4 melee (1d6+2)
*Full Attack:*          Bite +4 melee (1d6+2) and 2 Wing Slaps -1 melee (1d4+1)
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      -
*Special Qualities:*    Low Light Vision, Hold Breath, Rouse
*Saves:*                Fort +5, Ref +5, Will +2
*Abilities:*            Str 14, Dex 14, Con 14, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 8
*Skills:*               Listen +4, Spot +4, Swim +10
*Feats:*                Alertness, Endurance
*Environment:*          Any Temperate
*Organization:*         Domesticated, Solitary, Pair, or Flock 
*Challenge Rating:*     2
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          4-6 HD (Medium)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_"So what's this weeks assignment Abner?"_

_"S'nother bird"_

_"Oh Jebus wept..."_

Dire Swans are raised as living ornaments, and sometimes as guard animals.  They are surprisingly mean tempered after all, and make decent guard animals as they're quite loud when surprised or angered.

*Hold Breath (Ex)*: Dire Swans may hold their breath for (4 times Constitution modifier) before it risks drowning.

*Rouse (Ex):*  If the Swan spots something it hasn't seen before it unleashes such sonic Hell it can be heard for a mile away.  Anything within 100 feet is instantly awakened, even if it is unconscious due to magic (but not due to damage).  

*Skills*: Dire Swans have a +8 Racial Bonus to Swim Checks, and may always take 10 on a Swim check.

*Combat*: Swans tend to charge forward and start biting.  They're loud, and very much not subtle.




*Giant Swans*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom we'll be looking at the more unusual side of Farmer John's pets.

*Mess With The Honk, You Get The Bonk*
"So these are pretty much vanity pets for the wealthy aren't they?"

"Oh, no sir.  They make good early warning systems too."

"When I was a young man, I remember the Swans on our homestead.  They made quite the ruckus whenever there were visitors.  Announced or otherwise.."


*Overly Aggressive*

"Speaking of which, they seem to be stampeding our way..."

"Yeah, I need to teach them not to charge the guests.  They're stubborn that way."

----------


## Bhu

*Dire Parrot*
                      Medium Animal
*Hit Dice:*             2d8+2 (11 hp)
*Initiative:*           +2
*Speed:*                20 ft. (4 squares), Fly 80 ft. (Average)
*Armor Class:*          15 (+2 Dex, +3 Natural), touch 12, flat-footed 13
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +1/+2
*Attack:*               Bite +3 melee (1d6+1/18-20)
*Full Attack:*          1Bite +3 melee (1d6+1/18-20) and 2 Talons -2 melee (1d4)
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Cracking Beak
*Special Qualities:*    Low Light Vision, Mimicry
*Saves:*                Fort +4, Ref +5, Will +1
*Abilities:*            Str 12, Dex 15, Con 12, Int 10, Wis 12, Cha 12
*Skills:*               Listen +5, Perform (Mimicry) +7, Spot +5
*Feats:*                Weapon Finesse
*Environment:*          Warm Forest or Plains or Hills
*Organization:*         Solitary, Pair, or Flock (4-10) 
*Challenge Rating:*     1
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          3-4 HD (Medium)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_"RAWK! Polly wants a cracker!"_

_"How much we bein' paid to catch these things Abner?  Ah like money an' all but damn these birds are annoying."_

_"RAWK! Polly wants some gold pieces!"_

_"Thats why we're fetchin' em.  Don't know whut them boys have in mind, but it's worth it for 20 GP a bird."_

_"RAWK! Polly bein' used!"_

_"Yeah but Ah think they go out of their way to be jerks y'know."_

_"RAWK! Polly knows about Bert's being drunk and nekkid in the woods!"_

_"THAT'S IT!  Ah've taken all the ____ Ah'm gonna take from birds! Open that cage and give him an axe, we'll settle this now!"_

_".....um...Bert...you been eating the local berries? Birds can't hold axes."_

_"Good! That'll make this easier!"_

Dire Parrots are incredibly large parrots who not only can repeat what they've heard, the can expand upon it, and almost seem to do so somewhat maliciously.

*Cracking Beak (Ex)*: Parrots beaks are incredibly powerful for their size, and can even crack nuts.  They threaten a Critical on a successful 18-20.

*Mimicry (Ex):*  The Dire Parrot can mimic most sounds it has heard.  A creature that hears the sounds can tell they are imitations with an opposed Perform versus Sense Motive Check.

*Skills:* The Dire Parrot gains a +4 Racial Bonus on Perform (Mimicry) checks.

*Combat*: Parrots go straight for the bite before flying off.  They know better than to hang around.



*Giant Parrots*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom we'll be taking a look at Farmer John's potential undoing."

*RAWK!*
"You know Parrots repeat things, right?"

"True, but I've done nothing they can tell on."

"But what about your employees?"

[size=14pt]"THE BODIES ARE UNDER PIER 12!! RAWK!!"[/size]

*Never Trust A Parrot*
"That doesn't bode well."

"Dammit...SECURITY!! I need a sweep of the docks."

----------


## Bhu

*Dire Keet*
                      Small Animal
*Hit Dice:*             1d8+1 (5 hp)
*Initiative:*           +2
*Speed:*                10 ft. (2 squares), Fly 60 ft. (Average)
*Armor Class:*          14 (+1 Size, +2 Dex, +1 Natural), touch 13, flat-footed 12
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +0/-6
*Attack:*               Peck +3 melee (1d3-2)
*Full Attack:*          1 Peck +3 melee (1d3-2) and 2 Claws -2 melee (1d2-2)
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Annoy
*Special Qualities:*    Low Light Vision
*Saves:*                Fort +3, Ref +4, Will +2
*Abilities:*            Str 6, Dex 15, Con 12, Int 2, Wis 14, Cha 7
*Skills:*               Listen +4, Spot +4
*Feats:*                Weapon Finesse
*Environment:*          Any Warm except Aquatic
*Organization:*         Solitary, Pair, or Flock (10-30)
*Challenge Rating:*     1/4
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:* 
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

*"SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"*

_"Bert I swear ta gawd Ah'm gonna kill this damn thing if it don't stop squawkin'."_

Dire Parakeets are even more annoyingly screechy than the regular kind.  Even worse they're smart enough to know it.  Many is the Keet who has perched next to a sleeping adventurer and screeched the night away.

*Annoy (Ex)*: As a Swift Action the Keet may screech each round, delivering a nails on a chalkboard sensation to any poor bystanders.  Any round in which it screeches within 30 ft. of another being, that being must make a DC 13 Willpower Save (Save DC is Con Based with a +2 Racial Bonus) or any action requiring concentration becomes a Full Round Action, and he receives a -4 penalty on all Concentration checks for the round.

*Combat*: Keets aren't warriors.  They screech a lot, but they rarely full out attack anyone.



*Giant Parakeets*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom we'll be defining what it means to be patient and professional."

*SKREEE!*
"Sweet Jebus, that is some serious racket."

"They calm down once they get to know you.  After you've had them a year, they can be quite affectionate."

*"SKREEEE!"*

"What do you do in the meantime?"

"I would invest in hearing protection."

*The Grand High Poobahs of Bird Memes*

"Do they ever stop?"

*"SKREEE!!"*

"Alas, no."

----------


## Bhu

*Dire Squirrel*
                      Medium Animal
*Hit Dice:*             2d8+2 (11 hp)
*Initiative:*           +4
*Speed:*                40 ft. (8 squares), Climb 40 ft.
*Armor Class:*          16 (+4 Dex, +2 Natural), touch 14, flat-footed 12
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +1/+2
*Attack:*               Nom +5 melee (1d4+1) or Nut +5 Ranged (1d4)
*Full Attack:*          1 Nom +5 melee (1d4+1) and 2 Claws +0 melee (1d4) or Nut +5 Ranged (1d4)
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*   SQEEE!
*Special Qualities:*    Low Light Vision, Scent
*Saves:*                Fort +4, Ref +7, Will +1
*Abilities:*            Str 12, Dex 18, Con 12, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 8
*Skills:*               Balance +12, Climb +12, Jump +12, Listen +3, Search +1, Spot +3
*Feats:*                Weapon Finesse, Brachiation (B) *
*Environment:*          Cold or Temperate Forests
*Organization:*         Solitary, Pair, or Family (4-10) 
*Challenge Rating:*     1
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          3-4 HD (Medium)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

* Brachiation is in Complete Adventurer

_"Unca Bert?  Unca Abner? Can Ah keep 'im?  His name is Goober."_

_"Sally, honey, we're s'posed ta whup the critters not adopt them."_

Dire Squirrels are cute fuzzy abominations of nature who like to pelt adventurers with nuts and rocks.  Sometimes they play whats known as "Adventurer tag" by leaping on them from the trees, and then running away in some bizarre form of counting coup.

*SQEEE! (Ex)*: As a Standard Action the Dire Squirrel can leap from the trees pouncing on an unsuspecting victim below.  The attack does 2d6+2 damage, and the victim must make 2 separate DC 14 Fortitude Saves (Save DC is Strength Based with a +2 Circumstance Bonus).  If the first is failed the victim is knocked prone.  If the second is failed he is also Stunned for 1 round.

*Skills*: Dire Squirrels have a +8 Racial Bonus on all Balance, Climb, Jump, and Search checks.  They may always take 10 on a Balance or Climb check, and may use their Dex or Str mod for Climb and Jump checks, whichever is better.

*Combat*: Dire Squirrels usually launch themselves at opponents out of the trees before scampering away out of reach.  Then they repeat.  Sometimes they  throw small rocks and nuts.



*Giant Squirrels*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom we'll be doing our annual segment on adorable wildlife."

*Woodland Pranksters*
"Giant Squirrels...as pets..."

"Squirrels are quite common as pets among rural folk."

"Those squirrels are quite a bit smaller."

"True, but they don't make for the defensive option that my squirrels provide."

*If An Acorn Hits You, Does The Squirrel Make A Sound?*

"And that option would be?"

"They really, really like messing with random, heavily armed drifters."

----------


## Metastachydium

BIRDIES!




> *Dire Swan*
> 
> ()
> 
> Dire Swans are raised as living ornaments, and sometimes as guard animals () as they're quite loud when surprised or angered.


Hm. I could see a SQ based around that.




> *Dire Parrot*
> 
> ()
> 
> *Armor Class:*          16 (+1 Size, +2 Dex, +3 Natural), touch 13, flat-footed 13


As Medium birdies, they are not eligible for the size bonus.




> parrots who not only can repeat what they've heard, the can expand upon it, and almost seem to do so somewhat maliciously.


Okay, I think that would warrant a Mimicry (Ex). Maybe a boost to WIS as well.




> *Giant Parrots*
> "Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom we'll be taking a look at Farmer John's potential undoing."
> 
> *RAWK!*
> "You know Parrots repeat things, right?"
> 
> "True, but I've done nothing they can tell on."
> 
> "But what about your employees?"
> ...


I'm biased, of course, but I think animals beasts in 5e can have higher INT scores than 2 which wouldn't look half bad on a parrot (parrots are smart birdies; not corvid-level smart but close) that solves murder cases.




> *Dire Keet*
> 
> ()
> 
> *Attack:*               Peck +2 melee (1d3-2)
> *Full Attack:*          1 Peck +2 melee (1d3-2) and 2 Claws -3 melee (1d2-2)


Should have +3 to hit (+1 size, +2 DEX).




> _"Bert I swear ta gawd Ah'm gonna kill this damn thing if it don't stop squawkin'."_


Abner is _Evil_.

----------


## Bhu

> BIRDIES!
> 
> Hm. I could see a SQ based around that.


  A bonus to wake sleeping people maybe?






> As Medium birdies, they are not eligible for the size bonus.


  Oops, forgot the size change.  I have modified the Parrot/Parakeet.






> I'm biased, of course, but I think animals beasts in 5e can have higher INT scores than 2 which wouldn't look half bad on a parrot (parrots are smart birdies; not corvid-level smart but close) that solves murder cases.


Everything is a 2-4 except the ape (6) or fantasy critters like the Giant Owl.  An octopus was a 3 so  thats what I went for with the parrot.  I'll revise that if i can get the statblock edited.






> Abner is _Evil_.


I haven't gotten around to revising some of the posts that mention it, but one of Abner's ex-wives cursed him so that all things avian hate him on site (and usually try to kill him).  He has serious anger management issues regarding birds.

----------


## Metastachydium

> A bonus to wake sleeping people maybe?


Yeah, like RousePHB2 just Ex and maybe weaker. Something like "if the swan isn't surprised, no one within earshot is" would be cool too, but that's probably a bit above the pay grade of these birdies.




> An octopus was a 3 so  thats what I went for with the parrot.  I'll revise that if i can get the statblock edited.


Sounds good!

----------


## Bhu

*Dire Chameleon*
                      Large Animal
*Hit Dice:*             5d8+15 (38 hp)
*Initiative:*           -1
*Speed:*                20 ft. (4 squares), Climb 20 ft.
*Armor Class:*          13 (-1 Size, -1 Dex, +5 Natural), touch 8, flat-footed 13
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +3/+11
*Attack:*               Bite +6 melee (1d8+4) or Tongue +2 Ranged Touch (Grapple)
*Full Attack:*          Bite +6 melee (1d8+4) or Tongue +2 Ranged Touch (Grapple)
*Space/Reach:*          10 ft./5 ft. (10 ft. with Tongue)
*Special Attacks:*      Tongue, Swallow Whole
*Special Qualities:*    Low Light Vision, Camouflage, Hide in Plain Sight, Wide Angle Vision
*Saves:*                Fort +7, Ref +3, Will +2
*Abilities:*            Str 18, Dex 8, Con 16, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 6
*Skills:*               Climb +12, Hide +11, Search +2, Spot +7
*Feats:*                Point Blank Shot, Weapon Focus (Tongue)
*Environment:*          Warm Forest
*Organization:*         Solitary
*Challenge Rating:*     3
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:* 
*Level Adjustment:*     ---


_"Bawb...Bawb thet bush is lookin' at me...lookin' at me with big google eyes..."_

Dire Chameleons are the size of small alligators.  They are kept as pet guard animals, usually by those who are child free.  There have been...incidents.

*Tongue:* The Dire Chameleon has a very sticky tongue, and if it successfully a ranged touch attack with it, the Chameleon can immediately make a Grapple Check as a Free Action without provoking an attack of opportunity.  If the Grapple Check is successful it may make a Grapple Check to "reel in" the opponent the next round, and it begins doing bite damage the next round after that (if the opponent is too big to swallow) or uses it's Swallow Whole ability.

*Swallow Whole:* The Chameleon may Swallow any creature up to 2 Size Classes Smaller than itself with a successful Grapple Check.  The swallowed creature takes 1d8+4 in bludgeoning damage each round and 4 points of acid damage as well. A swallowed creature may attack the gizzard (AC 12), and doing 15 points of damage with a light slashing or piercing weapon. Muscular action immediately closes the hole, and other swallowed creatures must cut their own way out. The gizzard can hold 2 Small, 8 Tiny, 32 Diminutive, or 128 Fine Opponents.

*Camouflage:* Identical to the Ranger class ability listed on page 48 of the PHB.

*Hide in Plain Sight:* Identical to the Ranger class ability listed on page 48 of the PHB.

*Wide Angle Vision:* Dire Chameleons cannot be Flanked, and have a +4 Racial Bonus to Search and Spot checks.

*Skills:* The Dire Chameleon has a +8 Racial Bonus to Climb Checks, and a +12 Racial Bonus to Hide Checks.  They may always Take 10

*Combat:*  Dire Chameleons generally Hide, and use their Tongue once a small prey creature gets close, or bites if something larger gets nearby.  If ambush tactics fail, it will try to remain hidden until the opponent leaves.



*Giant Chameleon*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom we'll continue to be shocked and appalled.."

*When Did You Get A Lizard Sta-AAAIGH!*
"Who wants a giant ambush predator as a pet?"

"Hey, don't knock it till you have a giant bug infestation."

"Fair enough.  How are they with children?"

"Children?"

*I've Often Thought Children Look Like Bugs*

"You know.  Persons who aren't yet adults."

"Dammit Jim, I know what children are.  Whose gonna want kids around these things anyway?"

"Kind of the point we're trying to make."

----------


## Bhu

*Dire Hare*
                      Large Animal
*Hit Dice:*             8d8+36 (72 hp)
*Initiative:*           +3
*Speed:*                60 ft. (12 squares)
*Armor Class:*          17 (-1 Size, +3 Dex, +5 Natural), touch 12, flat-footed 14
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +6/+15
*Attack:*               Claw +10 melee (1d8+5)
*Full Attack:*          2 Claws +10 melee (1d8+5) and 1 Bite +5 melee (1d8+2)
*Space/Reach:*          10 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Improved Grab, Rake (1d8+5)
*Special Qualities:*    Low Light Vision, Immune to Nausea, Scent, Scamper
*Saves:*                Fort +10, Ref +9, Will +4
*Abilities:*            Str 20, Dex 16, Con 18, Int 2, Wis 14, Cha 10
*Skills:*               Jump +13, Listen +14, Spot +9
*Feats:*                Alertness, Fleet of Foot, Run
*Environment:*          Temperate Forests or Plains
*Organization:*         Solitary, or Pair
*Challenge Rating:*     5
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          9-12 HD (Large), 13-16 HD (Huge)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---


"PAW! PAW! Them hares is in the crops agin! Can we have Jugged Hare for dinner tonight if'n we get one?"

*"They don't make jugs that big junior."*


Dire Hares were an experiment in making crop animals, and an attempt to improve on the failed Dire Rabbit scheme.  They never do learn lessons well them wizards...  The Hares are faster, more aggressive, and reproduce quicker.

*Improved Grab (Ex)*: If a Dire Hare hits with it's Claw Attack, it may immediately make a Grapple Check as a Free Action without provoking an Attack of Opportunity.  If successful it may Rake.

*Rakes (Ex)*: In a Grapple the Dire Hare has 2 Rake Attacks +6 to hit doing 1d6+3 damage.

*Immune to Nausea (Ex)*: Due to their odd digestive system, Hares cannot vomit, and so are immune to Nausea.

*Scamper (Ex)*: If it wishes to flee a Dire Hare can temporarily increase it's Land Speed to 90 ft for (3+Constitution Modifier) rounds.  Once it Scampers it is Fatigued and may not scamper again until it has rested.

*Skills*: Dire Hares have a +8 Racial Bonus on Jump checks.  They also have a +4 Racial Bonus on Listen checks.

*Combat*: Bunnies are much like cats in that they prefer to grab hold and rake.




*Giant Hares*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I will continue to ponder the unique Hell that is magic rabbits."

*Wizards Never Learn*
"Are these pets or farm livestock?"

"Why not both?"

"Did you learn nothing from the bunnies?"

"We did indeed.   These don't have unchecked growth issues."

*Run Rabbit, Run*

"So whats the issue with them?"

"Nervousness.  They run like hell if you so much as break wind.  So you constantly have to round them up."

----------


## Bhu

*Dire Lemur*
                      Tiny Animal
*Hit Dice:*             1/2d8 (2 hp)
*Initiative:*           +2
*Speed:*                15 ft. (15 squares), Climb 15 ft.
*Armor Class:*          15 (+2 Size, +3 Dex), touch 15, flat-footed 12
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +0/-12
*Attack:*              Nibble +3 melee (1d2-4)
*Full Attack:*          Nibble +3 melee (1d2-4)
*Space/Reach:*          2 1/2 ft./0 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      -
*Special Qualities:*    Enhanced Low Light Vision, Scent
*Saves:*                Fort +2, Ref +5, Will +2
*Abilities:*            Str 3, Dex 17, Con 10, Int 2, Wis 14, Cha 7
*Skills:*               Balance +11, Climb +11, Hide +11, Jump +4, Listen +4, Spot +8
*Feats:*                Weapon Finesse, Brachiation (B)
*Environment:*          Warm Forest
*Organization:*         Solitary, Pair, or Group (3-6)
*Challenge Rating:*     1/4
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          ---
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_"Bert...Bert wake up!"_

_"Zzzznerk..whut?  Whut's happenin'?"_

_"Lil' critters Bert.  They're everywhere..."_

_"Is that one holding your bag of smoke powder and matches?"_

_"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"_

BOOM!

Dire Lemurs are larger versions of smaller Lemur species such as the Pygmy Mouse Lemur.  They aren't supposed to be kept as pets, but that's never stopped anyone from doing it.  Be warned, their curiosity gets them into everything.

*Enhanced Low Light Vision (Ex)*: Lemurs can see 6 times as far as humans in shadowy illumination.

*Skills*: Dire Lemurs have a +8 Racial Bonus to Balance, Climb, and Jump Checks.  They also have a +4 Racial Bonus to Spot Checks.  They may always Take 10 on a Climb Check, and may use their Dex or Strength Modifier for Climb Checks, whichever is better.

*Combat*: Dire Lemurs use pack tactics to swipe food and run.  If cornered they will bite.



*Epic Lemur*
                      Medium Animal
*Hit Dice:*             2d8+2 (11 hp)
*Initiative:*           +3
*Speed:*                30 ft. (6 squares), Climb 30 ft.
*Armor Class:*          15 (+3 Dex, +2 Natural), touch 13, flat-footed 12
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +1/+2
*Attack:*               Munch +4 melee (1d4+1)
*Full Attack:*          Munch +4 melee (1d4+1)
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      -
*Special Qualities:*    Enhanced Low Light Vision, Scent
*Saves:*                Fort +4, Ref +6, Will +2
*Abilities:*            Str 12, Dex 16, Con 12, Int 2, Wis 14, Cha 12
*Skills:*               Balance +11, Climb +11, Hide +6, Jump +9, Listen +4, Spot +6
*Feats:*                Weapon Finesse, Brachiation (B)
*Environment:*          Warm Forest
*Organization:*         Solitary, Pair, or Group (3-6)
*Challenge Rating:*     1
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          3-4 HD (Medium)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_"Ah can't believe that happened."_

_"Damn jungle critters.  Break out that bag of fruit Ah'm hungry."_

_"Uh Bert...they got relatives...big relatives.  And I think they want the fruit."_

Epic Lemurs are merely Dire versions of the larger Lemur species such as the Ring Tailed Lemur.  They can be...interesting.  And not in a good way.  Most definitely not pets.

*Enhanced Low Light Vision (Ex)*: Lemurs can see 6 times as far as humans in shadowy illumination.

*Skills*: Dire Lemurs have a +8 Racial Bonus to Balance, Climb, and Jump Checks.  They also have a +4 Racial Bonus to Spot Checks.  They may always Take 10 on a Climb Check, and may use their Dex or Strength Modifier for Climb Checks, whichever is better.

*Combat*: Epic Lemurs use pack tactics to swipe food and run.  If cornered they will bite.



*Giant Lemurs*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I will put our faith in the Gawds, and hope to not be arrested"

*The Illegal Pet Trade*
"You know these things can't be kept as pets right?  Especially if you've enlarged them?"

"Relax, we bought em all back when we figured it out."

"You had to be told they were illegal?"

"I'm a farming wizard by trade.  I just got into the pet industry, I'm not up on all the laws yet."

*Who Biggified The Ringtails?*

"So whose idea was it to enlarge the bigger ones?"

"No idea, but since they've beaten me down and ran off with my lunch twice I'll be firing them when I find out."

----------


## Bhu

*Dire Pigeon*
                      Large Animal
*Hit Dice:*             4d8+8 (26 hp)
*Initiative:*           +2
*Speed:*                20 ft. (4 squares), Fly 70 ft. (average)
*Armor Class:*          14 (-1 Size, +2 Dex, +3 Natural), touch 11, flat-footed 12
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +3/+10
*Attack:*               Beak +6 melee (1d8+3)
*Full Attack:*          1 Beak +6 melee (1d8+3) and 2 Claws +1 melee (1d6+1)
*Space/Reach:*          10 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Wing Slap, Pigeon Bomb
*Special Qualities:*    Low Light Vision, Hold Breath
*Saves:*                Fort +6, Ref +7, Will +2
*Abilities:*            Str 16, Dex 14, Con 14, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 7
*Skills:*               Balance +10, Listen +4, Spot +5
*Feats:*                Flyby Attack, Wingover
*Environment:*          Any Warm or Temperate except Aquatic
*Organization:*         Solitary, Pair, or Flock (11-30)
*Challenge Rating:*     3
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*         5-8 HD (Large)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_"Okay Sally.  This here bein' you first run with Uncle Abner n' me we need to make sure you know whats going on.  You know what we need to do right?"_

_"Uh-huh."_

_"Now when Uncle Abner and Ah chase the birdies off the roof, what do you do?"_

_"Ah whack em wif mah sling."_

_"Good."_

_"Then Ah takes 'em home ta snuggle, cuz theys mah pets now."_

_"Ah told you she wasn't ready for this yet."_

Dire Pigeons are loud, obnoxious, incredibly stupid birds who crap everywhere.  They also bring down property values by nesting on the roofs of houses (usually caving them in at times under their weight).  Few Dire Species have achieved such nuisance levels as the Pigeon.  Adventurers willing to face  them are scarce.  Not because they're powerful, but because no sane adventurer wants to be thrown off roofs and pooped on to earn a living.

*Wing Slap (Ex)*: As a Standard Action the Dire Pigeon may do a quick and unexpected wing slap against an opponent, usually when they are somewhere high.  This does 1d6+1 damage, and the Pigeon gets an Immediate Trip Attack as a Free Action without provoking an Attack of Opportunity.  If it successfully trips it's opponent the opponent may risk falling from the roof or tower the pigeon is on.  It's surprising how otherwise incredibly stupid animals know this.

*Pigeon Bomb (Ex)*:  While in Flight the Pigeon may as a Standard Action poop on gawkers below.  Treat this as a ranged grenade like weapon, and if it hits it covers a 5' area in foul smelling poo.  Opponents who have the Scent ability lose it until they wash, and must make a DC 14 Fortitude Save (Save DC is Constitution Based) or be Nauseated for 1d3 rounds.  Should the Pigeon critically hit with the poop attack it gets in it's victims eyes blinding it for 1d3 rounds. Basically pigeons are evil bastards.

*Skills*: Dire Pigeons gain a +8 Racial Bonus on Balance Checks.

*Combat*:  If a Dire Pigeons foes do not have ranged weapons, they will patiently wait for them to climb the house to reach them before using a quick Wing Slap to Knock them off the roof.  They will repeat until the PC's get tired of this.  Should they change tactics or have range, they will Bomb the PC's or their mounts.



*Giant Pigeons*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I will be reviewing feathered rats."

*Apparently Pigeons Are Not Well Liked*
"So.  Pigeons.  Can't imagine as they're popular other than nobles who want trained messengers."

"Exactly why we made them!"

"So how has it worked out?"

"It hasn't.  Pigeons are bast--."

*And For Good Reason*

"Hey now.  This is a family show."

"Which doesn't make it any less true."

----------


## Bhu

*Dire Dog (Toy Breed)*
                      Medium Animal
*Hit Dice:*             2d8+2 (11 hp)
*Initiative:*           +3
*Speed:*                40 ft. (8 squares)
*Armor Class:*          14 (+3 Dex, +1 Natural), touch 13, flat-footed 11
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +1/+1
*Attack:*               Bite +4 melee (1d6)
*Full Attack:*          Bite +4 melee (1d6)
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Trip
*Special Qualities:*    Low Light Vision, Scent, Random Health problem
*Saves:*                Fort +4, Ref +6, Will +1
*Abilities:*            Str 11, Dex 17, Con 12, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 8
*Skills:*               Hide +4, Listen +2, Move Silently +4, Spot +2, Survival +2
*Feats:*                Track, Weapon Finesse (B)
*Environment:*          Domesticated
*Organization:*         Solitary, Pair, or Group (3-5)
*Challenge Rating:*     1
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          3-4 HD (Medium)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

"It's got me by a sensitive place Abner.  Do not bash it in the head when making your sneak attack.  Just give him the sausages"

Toy breeds are innumerable small size Dire Dog mutants with varying degrees of health problems and insanities.  Kept as pets, they often are more of a detriment to their master than his opponents due to their random unpredictable nature.

*Trip (Ex):* If the Toy Breed successfully hits with it's Bite Attack it may immediately make a Trip Attack as a Free Action without provoking an Attack of Opportunity.  If the attempt fails the opponent doesn't get a Trip attempt in return.

*Random Health Problem (Ex):* Choose from among one of the following health problems (this can't be switched later).  Toy breeds are infamous for them:

Spontaneous Combustion: Anytime the dog takes damage it must make a Fortitude Save (DC is equal to 10 plus damage) or explode doing 5d6 fire damage in a 10 ft. area.

Spontaneous Zombification: Anytime your dog goes to sleep roll 1d100.  On a 1 it gains the Zombie template.  If brought to less than 0 hit points it automatically gains the Zombie template 1 round later.

Possible Madness: The dog is permanently Confused, as per the spell. CR 1/2

Fury: Anytime the dog is attacked, takes damage, or is upset it immediately goes into Frenzy (see Complete Warrior page 34).  

Fears: Anytime the dog is surprised or fails a Willpower Save that results in a Fear Effect or a Morale Penalty it becomes either Paralyzed in fear for 2d6 hours, or Panicked for a similar period of time.  Interestingly if Panicked it doesn't need to move in a straight line away from the source of fear, but sometimes runs in circles around it. CR 1/2

Projectile Vomiting/Other:  Anytime the dog takes damage, makes a Saving Throw, or is in some way upset it sprays vomit in a 10 ft. Line.  Anything in that Area must make a DC 12 Fortitude Save or be Nauseated 1d3 rounds.  Save DC is Constitution based.

Flatulence Flight:  Exactly one hour after the dog eats there is a small chance of explosive flatulence,  temporarily giving it a Flight move of 40 ft. for 1d6 rounds as long as it moves forwards in a straight line (or straight up). CR 1/2

Crippling Obesity: The dog is 5 times it's normal body weight.  It becomes Fatigued by performing any Standard or Full Round Action, and Exhausted if it performs one 3 or more rounds in a row.  On the other hand it's odd dimensions and mass give it a +8 Racial Bonus on Checks made to resist Bull Rush or Grapple Checks.  It also gains DR 2/- from it's rippling yards of backfat.

Random Psychic Stare:  At any given time the DM may roll 1d20.  On a 20 result, the dog spontaneously develops an Int Score of 20 for 1d6 minutes along with the ability to cast Dominate at will (caster Level is equal to HD) as a Supernatural Ability.  "Move along citizen, this perfectly ordinary but staring Chihuahua has no unusual powers and its not a threat." 

OMG this shrubbery is alive:  Due to some hideous malformation of it's normal hairiness, your dog looks like a hideously diseased bush when remaining still.  It gains the Camouflage Ability listed on page 50 of the PHB). 

Jowly: Your dog has a huge head, increasing it's Bite damage to 1d8, but giving it a -8 Racial Penalty to Balance Checks.

Diseased: This dog carries any disease listed in the DMG, and merely touching it can transmit the infection regardless of how you can normally catch it.  The dog is immune, the rest of you wish you were that lucky. 

Spontaneous Fainting:  Anytime the dog is surprised or fails a Willpower Save that results in a Fear Effect or a Morale Penalty it becomes Unconscious for 1 minute. CR 1/2

Nervous: Anytime the dog is surprised or fails a Willpower Save that results in a Fear Effect or a Morale Penalty it does 2d6+6 damage to everything within 10 ft. and then dies as it's nervous system implodes upon itself. 

*Combat:* Toy Dogs vary.  Some immediately flee combat, some are quick to charge and bite, and some are actual decent at it.  Much of it varies with how sane hte dog is.

*Variants*:

Annoying (Affenpinscher, Bichon Frise, Chihuahua, Pekingese, Pomeranian, Shih Tzu): Your dog barks non stop granting it the following ability:

Yap (Ex):  Your dogs non stop yapping gives everything within 60 ft. a -4 to Concentration and Listen Checks.



Energetic (Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, Italian Greyhound, Lowchen, Miniature Pinscher, Silky Terrier, Toy Fox Terrier, Yorkshire Terrier): You dog runs about getting into things non-stop granting it the following ability:

Distracting (Ex): Your dog gets a +2 Racial Bonus on Listen, Search, and Spot Checks, but everything within 10 ft. of him gets a -4 Penalty to Concentration Checks. 



Stout (Boston Terrier, French Bulldog, Pug): You dog is more squat than normal giving him -10 land speed, increasing bite to 1d8, and giving him the following ability:

Improved Grab (Ex): If the Dog successfully hits with it's Bite Attack it immediately gets a Grapple Check as a Free Action without  provoking an Attack of Opportunity.  If successful it deals it's bite damage each round it maintains the Grapple.  It may Grapple a creature of any Size.  +1 CR



*Giant Dogs*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I will be reviewing mans best...friend?"

*The Yappening*
"Of all the possible dog breeds you could have chose why these?"

"Nobles are infatuated with them.  It's the weirdest thing I've ever seen."

"So how has it worked out?"

"They tend to explode randomly."

*Spontaneous Canine Combustion*

"I beg your pardon?"

"Questionable breeding practices has led to a decline in health.  The magical processes meant to enlarge them also enlarged their problems."

"So has this led to a decline in sales?"

"Nope.   They've sped up."

----------


## Bhu

*Dire Cuttlefish*
                      Small Animal (Aquatic)
*Hit Dice:*             2d8+2 (11 hp)
*Initiative:*           +3
*Speed:*                5 ft. (1 square), Swim 30 ft.
*Armor Class:*          16 (+1 Size, +3 Dex, +2 Natural), touch 14, flat-footed 13
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +1/+2
*Attack:*               Tentacles +4 melee touch (Grapple)
*Full Attack:*          Tentacles +4 melee touch (Grapple)
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Improved Grab, Snatch, Poison
*Special Qualities:*    Low Light Vision, Chameleon, Ink, Jet
*Saves:*                Fort +4, Ref +6, Will +2
*Abilities:*            Str 12, Dex 17, Con 12, Int 2, Wis 14, Cha 10
*Skills:*               Escape Artist +13, Hide +15, Listen +4, Move Silently +3, Spot +5, Swim +9
*Feats:*                Weapon Finesse
*Environment:*          Warm or Temperate Aquatic
*Organization:*         Solitary or Group (3-6)
*Challenge Rating:*     2
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*         3-6 HD (Medium)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_"Of all the things to go fishin' for Bert.  Ah cain't believe that lady wants these things as pets."_

Dire Cuttlefish are pretty large for their species, but usually don't attack humans or similar sized critters unless it's mating season, or they're ill or scared.  They normally hunt small prey with their two extending feeding tentacles, but larger prey will be grappled if necessary.  Oddly enough they make decent pets as long as they're well cared for.  They look menacing enough most people won't jump into a moat filled with them.

*Improved Grab (Ex):* If the Cuttlefish hits with it's Tentacles Attack it automatically gets a Grapple Check as a Free Action without provoking an Attack of Opportunity.  It may Grapple opponents up to 1 Size Class larger than itself and does not take Size Penalties to Grapple Checks.  The Cuttlefish bites it's opponent for 1d3+1 damage plus poison with a successful Grapple Check.

*Snatch (Ex):* The Cuttlefish has two feeding tentacles that have a reach of 10 ft.  If an opponent 2 Size Classes smaller than itself is within that range it can use them to make it's Tentacle Attack/Grapple Check.  If it's opponent is unaware of it or Denied it's Dexterity Bonus to AC, the Dire Cuttlefish gets a +4 Racial Bonus on the Attack roll, and subsequent Grapple Checks.

*Poison (Ex):* Injury, DC 12 Fort Save (Save DC is Con based), Initial and Secondary damage 1d4 Dex.

*Chameleon (Ex):* The Dire Cuttlefish gets a +8 Racial Bonus to Hide Checks, and also has the Camouflage and Hide in Plan Sight abilities listed on page 46 of the PHB.

*Ink (Ex):* A Cuttlefish can emit a 10'x10'x10' cloud of black ink once per minute as a Free Action.  The cloud provides total concealment, and obscures all vision inside it.  They usually use this opportunity to flee.  

*Jet (Ex):* Once per round as a Full Action the Cuttlefish can jet backward 200 ft. in a straight line.  This movement does not provoke Attacks of Opportunity.

*Skills:* Dire Cuttlefish get a +10 Racial Bonus to Escape Artist Checks, and a +8 Racial Bonus to Swim Checks.  They may always Take 10 on a Swim check even if distracted or endangered, and may use the Run Action while swimming in a straight line.

*Combat:* Cuttlefish like to hide or silently swim up behind their prey.  Smaller prey gets snatched by their feeding tentacles.  Larger prey is grappled in the more normal manner.



*Giant Cutttlefish*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I will be confronting the decay of modern society."

*Smarter Than They Appear*
"These are pets?"

"No so loud, we think they understand language.  They may even have one of their own based off color patterns."

"So you think they're intelligent?"

"Ssshh, they might be listening."

*Oddly Cute*

"So...about my question..."

"Old women  seem to think of them as alternative cats.  I've seen customers sing to them, or reach into the tank to pet them while making soft cooing  noises."

"Are these noble women?"

"Peasants can't afford aquariums."

----------


## Bhu

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cBkWhkAZ9ds

*Dire Namaquan Rain Frog*
                      Tiny Animal
*Hit Dice:*             1d8 (4 hp)
*Initiative:*           +0
*Speed:*                20 ft. (4 squares), Burrow 10 ft.
*Armor Class:*          12 (+2 Size), touch 12, flat-footed 12
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +0/-12
*Attack:*               Bite +0 melee (1d3-4)
*Full Attack:*          Bite +0 melee (1d3-4)
*Space/Reach:*          2 1/2 ft./0 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Hysterically Un-Intimidating War Cry
*Special Qualities:*    Low-Light Vision
*Saves:*                Fort +2, Ref +2, Will +1
*Abilities:*            Str 3, Dex 10, Con 10, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 7
*Skills:*               Hide +8 (+16 in native terrain), Listen +3, Spot +3
*Feats:*                Weapon Finesse
*Environment:*          Temperate Deserts (found near shorelines close to water)
*Organization:*         Solitary
*Challenge Rating:*     1/8
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          ---
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

*"SQUEEEEEE!"*

_"Aaaaw it's so cute."_

_"I think we'd better hurry.  Somethings headed this way, I can hear it in the forest."_

The Dire Namaquan Desert Rain Frog is a cute, portly little frog that squeaks when upset.  Widely prized as pets, their popularity is the reason for their survival.  

*Hysterically Un-Intimidating War Cry (Ex):* When in danger, stressed, or it simply wishes to intimidate a predator the Desert Rain Frog unleashes it's mighty war cry.  Which unfortunately sounds like a rubber squeaky toy.  A squeaky toy whose sound echoes up to a mile away alerting any large predators in the region who often dine on either the frogs or small predators that also dine on the frogs.  In short the minute the frog squeaks, the PC's have 1d6 rounds before local predators of some sort arrive as they have adapted to listening for the little critters and can pinpoint their location with accuracy.  Basically it's a non-magical summons of a monster appropriate for the area and a moderately challenging CR to the party.

*Skills:* Rain Frog coloration closely resembles that of their native habitat, and gives them a +8 to Hide Checks while in that habitat.

*Combat:* Rain Frogs squeak.  If that doesn't intimidate their foe they try to run away and hide.  Unfortunately they aren't very fast, so they're basically quite defenseless apart from their ability to hide.



*Giant Rain Frogs*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I will be showing you the most adorable thing  we've ever seen."

*Difficult To Keep Alive*
"These are pets too?"

"Yup, people think they're just the cutest thing ever.  Never mind the fact that keeping them alive is a monstrous effort."

"But...they're frogs.  That live in the desert.  They should be hardy..."


*The All Frog Buffet*

"As long as you keep them moist all should be well.."

"Sure, as long as they don't speak."

"They can talk?"

"No, but they have a war cry they try to use to intimidate you.  Predators recognize the sound and come running, because the frogs have no real defense other than camouflage."

----------


## Bhu

*Dire Whitetail Deer*
                      Large Animal
*Hit Dice:*             6d8+18 (45 hp)
*Initiative:*           +1
*Speed:*                50 ft. (10 squares)
*Armor Class:*          15 (-1 Size, +1 Dex, +5 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 15
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +4/+12
*Attack:*               Hoof +7 melee (1d6+4) or Gore* +7 melee (1d10+6)
*Full Attack:*          2 Hooves +7 melee (1d6+4) or Gore* +7 melee (1d10+6)
*Space/Reach:*          10 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Overrun
*Special Qualities:*    Low Light Vision, Multiple Stomachs
*Saves:*                Fort +8, Ref +6, Will +3
*Abilities:*            Str 18, Dex 13, Con 16, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 10
*Skills:*               Listen +6, Spot +5
*Feats:*                 Endurance, Run, Improved Bull Rush (B)
*Environment:*          Warm or Temperate Forests or Plains
*Organization:*         Solitary or Herd (10-30)
*Challenge Rating:*    3
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          7-12 HD (Large)
*Level Adjustment:*     --

*Gore can only be performed by males who have antlers.

_"Hot Damn!! We git to go deer huntin'!"_

_"And we're even gettin' paid for it!"_

10 minutes later

_"Abner...somethin' seem...odd 'bout these deer to you?"_

Dire Whitetail deer are a scourge well known for devouring grass that farmers need for their herds (and sometimes  their crops as well depending on what they're growing).  Many an adventurer has earned money (and a nice relaxing vacation) hunting deer.  Many of these adventurers are also coincidentally rural Barbarians and Rangers, but still...

*Overrun (Ex)*: If the Dire Whitetail Deer performs an Overrun as part of a charge, it does not provoke an attack of opportunity, and also does 1d8+6 damage  to it's opponent if successful.

*Multiple Stomachs (Ex)* Dire Whitetail Deer get a +4 Racial Bonus on Fortitude Saves vs Ingested poisons.

*Combat*: Deer will only fight if necessary or spooked.  Usually they run over their opponent while fleeing.



*Giant Whitetail Deer*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I will be taking a look at yet another side business of Farmer John."

*A Hunter's Dream*
"Let me guess.  You're appealing to big game hunters?"

"Yes sir.  And there's nothing hunters like more than deer."

"Do they have any effects on the local ecosystem?"


*Crop Munchers*

"Not so long as you put deer repellent around your crops, and keep their numbers under control."

"So you introduced a danger to the environment that needs to be culled regularly?"

"Isn't it genius?"

----------


## Bhu

*Dire Muntjac Deer*
                      Medium Animal
*Hit Dice:*             3d8+3 (16 hp)
*Initiative:*           +3
*Speed:*                40 ft. (8 squares)
*Armor Class:*          15 (+3 Dex, +2 Natural), touch 13, flat-footed 12
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +2/+12
*Attack:*               Bite +5 melee (1d6+1)
*Full Attack:*          Bite +5 melee (1d6+1)
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      -
*Special Qualities:*    Low Light Vision, Multiple Stomachs
*Saves:*                Fort +3, Ref +6, Will +2
*Abilities:*            Str 12, Dex 16, Con 12, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 8
*Skills:*               Listen +4, Spot +4
*Feats:*                Run, Weapon Finesse
*Environment:*          Warm Forests or Plains
*Organization:*         Solitary or Group (2-4)
*Challenge Rating:*    1
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          4-6 HD (Medium)
*Level Adjustment:*     --

_"This guy says his deer are more normal size like."_

_"I dunno Abner.  I kinda liked the biggie sized ones._

_"Uh...Bert...these deer have teeth."_

_"All deer have teeth Abner."_

_"Yeah but these got fangs! OMG they're like cute lil sharks of the forest!"_

Muntjac are normally small asian deer with downward pointing fangs.  Dire Muntjac are a little bigger, and a little more eager to nibble on strangers if ya know what I mean...

*Multiple Stomachs (Ex)*: Dire Muntjac Deer get a +4 Racial Bonus on Fortitude Saves vs Ingested poisons.

*Combat*:  Muntjac deer tend to nibble experimentally and run away.  Then come back when you're sleeping and nibble harder.  And run away.  Again.  We should probably stop before we're tempted to use profanity...



*Giant Muntjac Deer*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom we'll be inexplicably becoming a hunting program."

*Fnags? On My Deer?*
"So this would be some exotic deer species?"

"Yes sir, they use the tusks to fight for mates."

"How are you convincing people to hunt them, as opposed to traditional deer?"

"We tell ''em they're vampires."

*Voracious Eaters of Undergrowth*
"Is it safe to allow them to roam free?"

"In the short term.  In the long term they eat too much undergrowth to not be checked."

"So once again you've monetized a problem you created?"

"I don't care for your tone sir..."

----------


## Bhu

*Dire Moose*
                      Huge Animal
*Hit Dice:*             18d8+90 (171 hp)
*Initiative:*           +0
*Speed:*                40 ft. (8 squares)
*Armor Class:*          20 (-2 Size, +12 Natural), touch 8, flat-footed 20
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +13/+30
*Attack:*              Gore +22 melee (3d6+16)
*Full Attack:*          Gore +22 melee (3d6+16)
*Space/Reach:*          15 ft./10 ft.
*Special Attacks:*   Dancing (4d8+16), Powerful Charge 
*Special Qualities:*    Low Light Vision
*Saves:*                Fort +16, Ref +11, Will +7
*Abilities:*            Str 32, Dex 10, Con 20, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 10
*Skills:*               Listen +12, Spot +11
*Feats:*                Cold Endurance, Endurance, Greater Powerful Charge, Improved Bull Rush, Power Attack, Powerful Charge, Reckless Charge
*Environment:*         Cold or Temperate Forest
*Organization:*         Solitary
*Challenge Rating:*     10
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*         19-24 HD (Huge), 25-36 HD (Gargantuan)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_"Ah don't think that huntin' bows gonna do us a lotta good Bert..."_

Dire Moose are easily spooked despite their size, and will often be seen raining death down on some poor soul who happened to simply stand next to them without being noticed for a few moments.

*Dancing (Ex)*: Dire Moose like to stand over foes and do what looks like a little dance on them.  In reality they are slowly trampling them to death.  This works like Trample except the Moose can end movement in it's opponents square, and the opponent gets no save for half damage if it does.

*Powerful Charge (Ex)*: When performing a Powerful Charge attack, opponents struck by it must also make an opposed Strength Check or be knocked Prone.

*Combat*: Dire Moose usually charge, and then dance.  They don't much need tactical genius.



*Giant Moose*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I will be standing behind a forcewall, probably for the duration of our stay at this farm."

*Did You Know Moose Get Drunk on Crab Apples?*
"You have to be kidding me."

"Aren't they magnificent!"

"They're the size of elephants..."

"And much more ill-tempered!"

*Spawn of the Devils*

"These things are too dangerous for hunting."

"Ah, but you could also say they're too dangerous not to hunt!"

----------


## Bhu

*Dire Elephant*
                      Gargantuan Animal
*Hit Dice:*             24d8+192 (300 hp)
*Initiative:*           -1
*Speed:*                40 ft. (8 squares)
*Armor Class:*          25 (-4 Size, -1 Dex, +20 Natural), touch 5, flat-footed 25
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +18/+45
*Attack:*               Gore +29 melee (4d6+22)
*Full Attack:*          1 Slam +29 melee (3d6+15) and 2 Stamps +24 melee (3d6+7) or Gore +29 melee (4d6+22)
*Space/Reach:*          20 ft./15 ft.
*Special Attacks:*   Trample (4d6+22), Do Not Taunt Happy Fun Tantor
*Special Qualities:*    Low Light Vision, Scent
*Saves:*                Fort +22, Ref +13, Will +9
*Abilities:*            Str 40, Dex 8, Con 26, Int 2, Wis 13, Cha 12
*Skills:*               Listen +18, Spot +15
*Feats:*                Alertness, Endurance, Improved Bull Rush, Improved Snatch, Iron Will, Multisnatch, Power Attack, Skill Focus (Listen), Snatch, Awesome Blow (B)
*Environment:*          Warm Plains
*Organization:*         Solitary, or Herd (3-15)
*Challenge Rating:*     12
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          25-36 HD (Gargantuan), 37-48 HD (Colossal)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_"Abner...Ah don't wanna here any more complaints bought chasin' birds."_

Dire Elephants are like regular elephants, except maybe if they were armored and twitchy from a steady diet of black coffee and spoiled bananas.  In other words you reeeeally don't wanna make em angry.

*Trample (Ex)*: DC 37 Reflex Save for half Damage. Save DC is Str Based.

*Do Not Taunt Happy Fun Tantor (Ex)*: If the Dire Elephant has successfully grabbed an opponent with it's Snatch Feat (A Dire Elephant threatens a Snatch Attack after using it's Slam Attack instead of a claw or bite), it may squeeze them doing 2d6+15 damage per round the Grapple is maintained, or throw them away.  You can pick up an opponent at least two size categories smaller than you and throw them toward a specific square up to five range increments away (range increment is 15 feet).  You make a ranged touch attack (against AC 5) to throw the opponent to the chosen square. If the touch attack hits, the opponent lands in the square you designate. If the touch attack is a miss, randomly determine in which square the opponent lands, using the Missing with a Thrown Weapon diagram on page 158 of the Player's Handbook. If the opponent lands in a square that is occupied, they land prone in that square. In any case, the opponent doesn't provoke attacks of opportunity for this movement.  The flung opponent (and target they hit) take 1d6 damage per 10 feet thrown, +1d6 per size category over Small.

*Combat*: Dire Elephants fight in much the same way as regular elephants do, they just tend to be meaner and put in the extra shot to make sure you're dead.  Plus they love to grab people with their trunks and throw them around.



*Giant Elephants*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom we'll be watching one mans clear descent into madness."

*Walking Fortresses*
"Oh come on. No one hunts these."

"You'd be surprised.  A lot of high level Barbarians like the challenge."

"The good people at Mutual of Gnomeahaw do not support, or tolerate, fourth wall breaking."

"Well, excuse me."

*Surprisingly Versatile Killers*

"Really, who are these for?"

"The local Goblins love 'em.  They're perfect for troop transport."

----------


## Bhu

*Catfish God*
Large Animal (Aquatic)
*Hit Dice:* 8d8+24 (60 hp)
*Initiative:* +1
*Speed:* Swim 50 ft. (10 squares)
*Armor Class:* 16 (-1 Size, +1 Dex, +6 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 15
*Base Attack/Grapple:* +6/+14
*Attack:* Bite+9 melee (1d8+6)
*Full Attack:* Bite+9 melee (1d8+6)
*Space/Reach:* 10 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:* Improved Grab, Swallow Whole, Spine Lash
*Special Qualities:* Low Light Vision, Blindsense
*Saves:* Fort +9, Ref +7, Will +4
*Abilities:* Str 18, Dex 13, Con 16, Int 2, Wis 14, Cha 2
*Skills:* Listen +4, Search +3, Spot +4, Swim +12
*Feats:* Ability Focus (Poison), Endurance, Swim-By Attack
*Environment:* Warm Aquatic
*Organization:* Solitary
*Challenge Rating:* 5
*Treasure:* None
*Alignment:* Always Neutral
*Advancement:* 9-12 HD (Large), 13-16 HD (Huge)
*Level Adjustment:* ---

_"YOU WILL BOW!!  YOU WILL BOW TO THE GREAT CATFISH GAWD!!"_

_"Abner the locals appear to be a might odd."_

_"YOU WILL BOW NOW!"_

_"Bert, if'n he doesn't stop a'spittin' on me when he screams ah want you to hit him in his 'quiet area' with thet axe of yours..."_

Catfish Gods are enormous river catfish that grow larger and larger with time, and are worshiped by some primitives as gods.  Many feed them sacrifices after they grow too big to move anymore (though that can take generations).  They are, in fact, Dire Catfish.

*Improved Grab (Ex)*: If the Catfish Gawd successfully hits with it's Bite Attack it may immediately make a Grapple Check as a Free Action without provoking an Attack of Opportunity.  If successful it may then Swallow it's victim or deal it's bite damage.

*Swallow Whole (Ex)*: The Catfish Gawd can Swallow an opponent up to 3 Size Classes smaller than itself with a successful Grapple Check.  The swallowed opponent takes 1d8+4 bludgeoning damage and 1d8 acid damage per round inside the stomach.  It may escape by doing 15 points of damage to the stomach (AC 13) with a light slashing or piercing weapon.  Once it exits, muscular action closes the hole and other swallowed creatures must find their own way out.

*Poison Lash (Ex)*: As a Full Round Action the Catfish can lash it's head back and forth while twisting it's powerful body, possibly hitting everyone in the squares in front of it and to either side.  Every creature in that area must make a DC 18 Reflex Save (Save DC is Strength Based) or take 2d6+4 piercing damage from the Catfish Gawds barbels.  If it is successfully damaged it must also make a DC 19 Fortitude Save (Save DC is Constitution Based) or be poisoned (Initial and Secondary damage is 2d4 Strength).

*Blindsense (Ex)*: While underwater the Catfish God can sense any creature within 30 ft.

*Skills*: Catfish Gods have a +8 Racial Bonus on all Swim Checks, and can Always Take 10 on a Swim Check.  They may use the Run Action while swimming in a straight line.  They also get a +4 Racial Bonus on Search Checks.

*Combat*:  Catfish Gawds use their Poison Lash on bigger creatures, or on threats they can't simply swallow.



*Giant Catfish*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I will be meeting a local landmark, courtesy of Farmer John."

*River Monsters*
"That's not a landmark, that's a catfish."

"Yes, but the locals think it's a Gawd.

"And you haven't corrected them?"

"Oh, hell no.  They bring in too much money.  Plus it may be a Gawd."

*In It's Unblinking Eyes Lie The Keys To The Universe*

"Why do you say that?"

"Have you ever met a Gawd, or someone possessed by them?  They're sneaky, and mean, and often like to hide inside  people or critters to avoid notice."

----------


## Bhu

*Dire Arapaima*
Huge Animal
*Hit Dice:* 12d8+36 (90 hp)
*Initiative:* +6
*Speed:* Swim 40 ft. (8 squares)
*Armor Class:* 20 (-2 Size, +2 Dex, +10 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 18
*Base Attack/Grapple:* +8/+27
*Attack:* Bite +13 melee (2d6+10)
*Full Attack:* Bite +13 melee (2d6+10)
*Space/Reach:* 15 ft./10 ft.
*Special Attacks:* -
*Special Qualities:* Low Light Vision, Blindsense, Hold Breath
*Saves:* Fort +11, Ref +10, Will +6
*Abilities:* Str 24, Dex 14, Con 16, Int 1, Wis 14, Cha 8
*Skills:* Listen +10, Spot +9, Swim +15
*Feats:* Combat Reflexes, Improved Initiative, Improved Snatch, Snatch, Snatch and Swallow (B, see Draconomicon, energy damage is acid)
*Environment:* Warm Aquatic
*Organization:* Solitary
*Challenge Rating:* 5
*Treasure:* None
*Alignment:* Always Neutral
*Advancement:* 13-24 HD (Huge)
*Level Adjustment:* ---

_"Aaahh...nuthin' like realxin' on the river trout fishin'..."_

_"..."_

_"..."_

_*coughs*_

_"We're not trout fishin' are we Bert..."_

_"(Sighs) No."_

_"Dammit Bert! You said we was supposed to be on vacation!"_


The Dire Arapaima (also known as the Pirarucu) is a huge predator fish found in large rivers.  It is also one of the few fish required to surface every so often for air.

*Blindsense*: The Dire Arapaima can sense all creatures within 60 ft.' while underwater.

*Hold Breath*: The Dire Arapaima can Hold it's breath out of water for (8 times it's Constitution modifier) rounds before it risks suffocating.

*Skills:* Dire Arapima have a +8 Racial Bonus on all Swim Checks, and can Always Take 10 on a Swim Check.  They may use the Run Action while swimming in a straight line.

*Combat*: The Dire Arapaima tends to snatch and swallow against creatures small enough,  Otherwise it simply snatches one, and swims away while chewing on it.  It will return for another when the first is dead.




*Giant Arapaima*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I will be seguing into fishing. "

*River Monsters Part Deux*
"Let me guess.  Sport fishing?"

"Yes sir.  They're too voracious to live!"

"But these will eat all the other river fish.  What will the villagers eat?."

"These don't eat fish sir, they eat villagers."

*They Can Breath Out Of Water*

"Have you warned the villagers?."

"Didn't have to, the first fish loosed were...precocious.""

----------


## Bhu

*Dire Cachalot Whale*
                      Gargantuan Magical Beast
*Hit Dice:*             18d10+144 (243 hp)
*Initiative:*           +1
*Speed:*                Swim 50 ft. (10 squares)
*Armor Class:*          23 (-4 Size, +1 Dex, +16 Natural), touch 7, flat-footed 22
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +18/+44
*Attack:*               Bite +28 melee (4d6+14)
*Full Attack:*          Bite +28 melee (4d6+14) and Tail Slap +28 melee (1d8+7)
*Space/Reach:*          20 ft./15 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Improved Grab, Swallow Whole, Capsize Ship, Ram, Sonar Stun
*Special Qualities:*    Blindsight 130 ft., Darkvision 60 ft., Hold Breath
*Saves:*                Fort +19, Ref +12, Will +8
*Abilities:*            Str 39, Dex 13, Con 26, Int 10, Wis 15, Cha 15
*Skills:*               Intimidate +11, Knowledge (Geography, History, Nature) +2, Listen +13, Spot +5, Survival +6, Swim +22
*Feats:*                Alertness, Diehard, Endurance, Frightful Presence, Greater Powerful Charge, Improved Natural Attack (Bite), Powerful Charge
*Environment:*          Temperate Aquatic
*Organization:*         Solitary or Pair
*Challenge Rating:*     11
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Usually Neutral
*Advancement:*          19-27 HD (Gargantuan), 28-54 HD (Colossal)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

This is an absolutely enormous Cachalot Whale.  All of the nasty stories you hear about whales?  His.  This guy is responsible for all of them.

*Improved Grab (Ex):* To use this ability, a Dire Whale must hit with its bite attack. It can then attempt to start a grapple as a free action without provoking an attack of opportunity. If it wins the grapple check, it establishes a hold and can try to swallow the foe in the following round.

*Swallow Whole (Ex):*  A Dire Whale can try to swallow a grabbed opponent of up to one size smaller by making a successful grapple check. Once inside, the opponent takes 2d8+7 points of bludgeoning damage plus 2d8+7 points of acid damage per round from the whales digestive juices. A swallowed creature can cut its way out using a light slashing or piercing weapon by dealing 35 points of damage to the whales digestive tract (AC 18). Once the creature exits, muscular action closes the hole; another swallowed opponent must cut its own way out.

A Gargantuan Dire Whale's gullet can hold 2 Huge, 8 Large or Medium, 32 Small, 128 Tiny, or 512 Diminutive or smaller opponents. 

*Capsize Ship (Ex):* A submerged dragon turtle that surfaces under a boat or ship less than 30 feet long capsizes the vessel 95% of the time. It has a 50% chance to capsize a vessel from 30 to 80 feet long and a 20% chance to capsize one over 80 feet long. 

*Ram (Ex):* The Dire Whale does 8d6+28 damage with a successful Charge atack (this does not include the excess damage from it's Feats).

*Sonar Stun (Ex):* Dire Whales can narrowly focus their sonar in an attempt to disorient prey.  This is a Ranged attack with a range of 240 feet, and it loses it's Blindsight for the round it uses this ability.  The target must make a DC 27 Fortitude Save (Save DC is Con based) or be Stunned 1d6 rounds.

*Blindsight (Ex):*  Whales can "see" by emitting high-frequency sounds, inaudible to most other creatures, that allow them to locate objects and creatures within 120 feet. A silence spell negates this and forces the whale to rely on its vision, which is approximately as good as a humans. 

*Hold Breath (Ex):* A whale can hold its breath for a number of rounds equal to 8 × its Constitution score before it risks drowning.

*Skills:* Dire Whales gain a +8 Racial Bonus to Listen and Swim Checks, and may always Take 10 on a Swim Check.

*Combat:* Pretty much the same as regular Cachalot Whales, with the addition of Sonar blasts.



*Giant Cachalot Whale*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I will be looking into Farmer John's coastal defenses.  Honestly, I'm quite shocked your lands extend to a port. "

*The Black Whale*
"Sweet Jebus..."

"My greatest creation, and our main defense against pirates."

"What do you have that needs defending?."

"We ship in a lot of grain."

*Formidable Capsizer of Ships*

"It would appear to be destroying on of your grain ships now.  You have a farm, why import grain?"

"Why, to feed the sabotage division of course!"

----------


## Bhu

*Dire Beaver*
                      Medium Animal
*Hit Dice:*             4d8+8 (26 hp)
*Initiative:*           +2
*Speed:*                30 ft. (6 squares), Swim 30 ft.
*Armor Class:*          16 (+2 Dex, +4 Natural), touch 12, flat-footed 14
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +3/+5
*Attack:*               Bite +5 melee (2d4+3/18-20)
*Full Attack:*          Bite +5 melee (2d4+3/18-20)
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Vicious Bite
*Special Qualities:*    Low-Light Vision, Scent, Hold Breath, Blindsense 30 ft.
*Saves:*                Fort +6, Ref +5, Will +2
*Abilities:*            Str 14, Dex 12, Con 14, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 10
*Skills:*              Craft (Dam-Building)+4, Listen +7, Spot +3, Swim +10, Survival +4
*Feats:*               Alertness, Endurance
*Environment:*          Cold or Temperate Forests
*Organization:*         Solitary, Pair or Family (2 Adults plus 1-6 kits of x Hit Dice)
*Challenge Rating:*     2
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          5-12 HD (Large)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_"Whut we doin' t'day Abner."_

_"We're 'sposed ta evict a buncha Beavers.  Been makin' dams, messin' up the place."_

_"We should pass.  Ah hain't gettin' Beaver Fever."_

_"Relax, these here are Dire Beavers.  They don't get sick."_

_"How is giant as opposed ta sick any better?"_

Dire Beavers are the size of small Black Bears, and quite a bit more aggressive.  The deforestation they sometimes cause in order to build their dams is often of concern, and Druids are often asked to "persuade" them to move on.

*Vicious Bite (Ex):* The Dire Beaver's bite threatens a Critical on a Natural 18-20.  It ignores the Hardness of wooden items, and the DR/- of wooden beings.

*Hold Breath (Ex):* A Dire Beaver can hold its breath for a number of rounds equal to 8 × its Constitution score before it risks drowning. 

*Blindsense (Ex):* A Dire Beaver can locate creatures underwater within a 30-foot radius. This ability works only when the Dire Beaver is underwater. 

*Skills:* Beavers gain a +4 Racial Bonus on Craft (Dam-Building) and Listen Checks.  They also gain a +8 Racial Bonus on Swim Checks and may always Take 10 on a Swim Check.

*Combat:* Beavers are very territorial, and have a vicious bite when necessary.  They are also frequent carriers of diseases, such as rabies, and should therefore be approached with caution.




*Giant Beavers*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I will be learning more about Farmer Johns mysterious 'sabotage division'."

*Very Aggressive For Being So Cute*
"Who would you need to sabotage?"

"Other farming wizards.  We're a very competitive lot."

"Won't giant sized Beavers be a threat to everyone though?"


*Fever!*

"Can you actually train these things?"

"No but you can bribe them."

"Bribe them with what?"

"Clerics.  Much like their smaller cousins, giant Beavers are prone to disease."

----------


## Bhu

*Dire Porcupine*
                      Large Animal
*Hit Dice:*             8d8+40 (76 hp)
*Initiative:*           +1
*Speed:*                30 ft. (6 squares), Climb 30 ft.
*Armor Class:*          18 (-1 Size, +1 Dex, +8 natural), touch 10, flat-footed 18
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +6/+17
*Attack:*               Quill Slam +12 melee (1d4+7)
*Full Attack:*          Quill Slam +12 melee (1d4+7)
*Space/Reach:*          10 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Quill Slam
*Special Qualities:*    Low Light Vision, Quill Defense
*Saves:*                Fort +10, Ref +7, Will +3
*Abilities:*            Str 24, Dex 13, Con 18, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 8
*Skills:*                Climb +16, Listen +6, Spot +6
*Feats:*                Alertness, Endurance, Improved Toughness
*Environment:*          Warm or Temperate Desert, Forest, Hills, and Plains
*Organization:*         Solitary
*Challenge Rating:*     5
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          9-16 HD (Large)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---


_"Aw man...Burt I don't think we can save yer dawg now..."_

"Hell we won't!  This is whut we keep that Preacher on retainer for!"

Dire Porcupines are pests with an insatiable desire for munching salt.  They'll even strip paint from buildings to get it.  They shed their deadly quills every where, and some have wiped out herds as all the bulls charge them and die after getting stuck.  Farmers and hunters hate them.  But they're huge, good climbers, and about as powerful as a bear.  A pointy bear.  A pointy bear who likes to lick paint.

*Quill Slam (Ex):* Damage done by the Porcupine's Quill Slam embeds 1 quill per point of damage (see below).

*Quill Defense (Ex)*: Anyone striking the Porcupine with an unarmed strike, a natural weapon, or (god forbid you're this stupid) grappling one becomes impaled on it's quills taking piercing damage equal to 1d6 plus the attackers Strength bonus.  For each point of damage taken, 1 quill is embedded in the opponent.  If the opponent is using melee weapons that don't have Reach he must make a DC 18 Reflex Save to avoid the quills (Save DC is Constitution based).  Any round the character spends doing something strenuous (climbing, swimming, running, fighting, etc) they work their way in further causing the opponent to take a -2 penalty to all rolls until 1d6 rounds after he stops doing strenuous activity.  If he spends more than 5 rounds performing strenuous activity he takes 1d6 damage.  Quills can be removed several ways.  They can be yanked out, doing 1 point of damage per quill.  Or they can be removed by a DC 15 Healing check per quill to remove them without doing damage.  If the quills aren't removed within a day, infection may set in and they must daily make Fortitude checks to avoid contacting the Red Ache (See DMG page 292).  Damage done by the Porcupine's Quill Slam embeds 1 quill per point of damage.

*Skills*: Porcupines get a +8 Racial Bonus to Climb checks, and may always take 10 on a Climb check.

*Combat*: Porcupines usually just raise their quills and once an opponent has attacked them they usually decide not to do so again.  If he is stupid enough to try it again the Dire Porcupine will grapple trying to lodge as many quills in the opponent as possible.



*Giant Porcupine*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom we'll be looking at he craziest idea we've seen yet."

*This Is How Nature Says Do Not Touch*
"What exactly are these for?"

"They're salt deficient, and will do anything for more.  In the process they take out your targets defensive personnel as well."

"You realize how dangerous these things are right?"

"Pfft.  Everyone knows what they're in for when they're part of a wizard farm."

*Requires Extra Careful Hugs*

"Well they certainly do now."

"Your viewers need to educate themselves more on the ways of the world."

"Oh, they're definitely getting one right now..."

----------


## Bhu

*Dire Naked Mole Rat, Worker*
                      Medium Animal
*Hit Dice:*             2d8+4 (13 hp)
*Initiative:*           +2
*Speed:*                30 ft. (6 squares), Burrow 30 ft.
*Armor Class:*          14 (+2 Dex, +2 Natural), touch 12, flat-footed 12
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +1/+3
*Attack:*               Bite +3 melee (1d6+3)
*Full Attack:*          Bite +3 melee (1d6+3)
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      -
*Special Qualities:*    Blind, Painless, Survival Adaptations, Scent, Tremorsense 60 ft., Blindsense 30 ft., Acid Resistance 3
*Saves:*                Fort +5, Ref +5, Will +1
*Abilities:*            Str 15, Dex 15, Con 15, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 4
*Skills:*               Listen +3, Search +3
*Feats:*                Endurance
*Environment:*          Underground
*Organization:*         Solitary, Group (3-6), or Colony (25-50)
*Challenge Rating:*     1
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          3 HD (Medium)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---



*Dire Naked Mole Rat, Soldier*
                      Medium Animal
*Hit Dice:*             3d8+12 (25 hp)
*Initiative:*           +2
*Speed:*                30 ft. (6 squares), Burrow 30 ft.
*Armor Class:*          15 (+2 Dex, +3 natural), touch 12, flat-footed 13
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +2/+5
*Attack:*               Bite +5 melee (1d6+4)
*Full Attack:*          Bite +5 melee (1d6+4)
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Improved Grab
*Special Qualities:*    Blind, Painless, Survival Adaptations, Scent, Tremorsense 60 ft., Blindsense 30 ft., Acid Resistance 3
*Saves:*                Fort +6, Ref +5, Will +2
*Abilities:*            Str 17, Dex 15, Con 17, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 4
*Skills:*               Listen +4, Search +3
*Feats:*                ENdurance, Improved Toughness
*Environment:*          Underground
*Organization:*         Solitary, Group (3-6), or Guard (10-25)
*Challenge Rating:*     2
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          4-5 HD (Medium)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---


*Dire Naked Mole Rat, Queen*
                      Large Animal
*Hit Dice:*             5d8+25 (47 hp)
*Initiative:*           +1
*Speed:*                30 ft. (6 squares), Burrow 30 ft.
*Armor Class:*          15 (-1 Size, +1 Dex, +5 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 15
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +3/+12
*Attack:*               Bite +7 melee (2d4+7)
*Full Attack:*          Bite +7 melee (2d4+7)
*Space/Reach:*          10 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Improved Grab
*Special Qualities:*    Blind, Painless, Survival Adaptations, Scent, Tremorsense 90 ft., Blindsense 60 ft., Acid Resistance 5
*Saves:*                Fort +8, Ref +5, Will +3
*Abilities:*            Str 20, Dex 12, Con 18, Int 2, Wis 14, Cha 8
*Skills:*               Listen +6, Search +4
*Feats:*                Endurance, Improved Toughness
*Environment:*          Underground
*Organization:*         Solitary, plus 5 Soldiers and 10 Workers
*Challenge Rating:*     3
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          6-8 HD (Large)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_"Burt...Burt I think we got moles...big moles...maybe mutants..."_

Dire Naked Mole Rats are similar to their smaller cousins, and just as disturbing.  Read up on them online.  It's nightmare fuel.

*Improved Grab (Ex)*: Naked Mole Rat Soldiers and Queens may make a Grapple Check against a creature their own Size Class or Smaller without provoking an attack of opportunity.  They may use their Bite during a Grapple.

*Blind (Ex)*: Naked Mole Rats are immune to gaze attacks, visual effects, illusions, and other attack forms that rely on sight.

*Painless (Ex)*: Naked Mole Rats cannot feel pain as well as other creatures.  They are immune to subdual damage or penalties based solely on pain (i.e. spells like Wrack, Symbol of Pain, etc).

*Survival Adaptations (Ex)*: Naked Mole Rats have a +4 Racial Bonus on all Fortitude Saves made against disease, starvation, dehydration, or suffocation.

*Blindsense (Ex)*: Naked Mole Rats are extremely aware of changes in the air pressure in their confining burrows.  As long as they are within their tunnel system they effectively have Blindsight.

*Skills (Ex)*: Naked Mole Rats have a +4 Racial Bonus on Search checks.

*Combat*: Naked Mole Rats are extremely xenophobic, killing anything entering their burrows, even mole rats from other groups.  They swarm en masse and bite away or try to block the tunnel by filling it with dirt.







*Giant Naked Mole Rat*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom we'll be witnessing an abomination before man and Gawd."

*Nightmare Fuel*
"This is...a new level of disturbing."

"They're efficient, they don't tolerate intruders and they have no mercy.  They're great minions."

"Are they loyal though?"

"Control the Queen, and you control the rest."

*The More You Know The Worse It Gets*

"Isn't that a bit of a design flaw?"

"...crap..."

----------


## Bhu

*Dire Ceratogaulus*
                      Large Animal
*Hit Dice:*             8d8+40 (76 hp)
*Initiative:*           +3
*Speed:*                30 ft. (6 squares), Burrow 30 ft.
*Armor Class:*          15 (-1 Size, -1 Dex, +7 Natural), touch 8, flat-footed 15
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +6/+18
*Attack:*               Bite +13 melee (3d6+8 point)
*Full Attack:*          1 Bite +13 melee (3d6+8 point) and 2 Claws +8 melee (2d6+4)
*Space/Reach:*          10 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Death from Below, Frightful Presence
*Special Qualities:*    Low-Light Vision, Scent, Tremorsense 60 ft.
*Saves:*                Fort +11, Ref +5, Will +3
*Abilities:*            Str 26, Dex 8, Con 20, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 10
*Skills:*               Hide +3, Listen +8, Search +4, Spot +1
*Feats:*                Blind-Fight, Improved Initiative, Improved Natural Attack
*Environment:*          Warm or Temperate Plains, Underground
*Organization:*         Solitary
*Challenge Rating:*    4
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Neutral
*Advancement:*          9-12 HD (Large), 13-24 HD (Huge)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_"GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPHEEEEERSS!  RUN!  RUN FER YER LIVES!"_

The Dire Ceratogaulus is the bison sized version of the prehistoric horned gopher.  Mostly known for devouring fields, extreme persnickityness, and occasionally boogieing down out on the plains.

*Death from Below (Ex):*  If the Dire Ceratogaulus begins it's turn underground, and has enough Burrow speed to reach the surface, it can explode from below, doing 3d6+12 points of damage to every non-flying opponent in it's 10 foot area.  Opponents can make a DC 22 Reflex Save for half damage (Save DC is Str based).  Whether it makes the Save or not, anything in the gophers area is pushed into the nearest available unoccupied space.  Any opponent who fails the Save is also knocked prone.

*Frightful Presence (Ex):* Whenever the Dire Ceratogaulus uses it's Death from Below attack, all living opponents within 40 feet must make a DC 14 Willpower Save (Save DC is Cha based) or be Shaken for the rest of the encounter.  Opponents who succeed in making their Save are immune to this gophers Frightful Presence for 24 hours.

*Skills:* Ceratogaulus have a +4 Racial Bonus to Hide, Listen and Search Checks.

*Combat:* Dire Ceratogaulus tend to track prey via their Tremorsense before exploding from below.  Depending on how successful their surprise assault is they will either duck back into the earth and repeat, or stay and begin the mauling.



*Giant Ceratogaulus*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I will be witnessing the inexplicable. "

*Playing Gawd Leads To Trouble*
"So let me get this straight...you had Necromancers resurrect an extinct species so you could clone it, and then make giant versions?"

"That's the gist of it, yes."

"Sir, there are horror stories that begin this way."

"I'm a Wizard, my life is a horror story."

*You Can Hear It Coming*

"So you decided to replace the Mole Rats with a less flawed model?"

"Well it has what I'd call an ill temper...and it's a bit territorial."

----------


## Bhu

*Dire Pocket Gopher Swarm*
                      Tiny Animal
*Hit Dice:*             12d8 (54 hp)
*Initiative:*           +2
*Speed:*                20 ft. (4 squares), burrow 20 ft.
*Armor Class:*          16 (+2 Size, +2 Dex, +2 Natural), touch 14, flat-footed 14
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +9/-
*Attack:*               Swarm (3d6)
*Full Attack:*          Swarm (3d6)
*Space/Reach:*          10 ft./0 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Distraction
*Special Qualities:*    Swarm traits, Low Light Vision, Half damage from Slashing and Piercing weapons, Scent
*Saves:*                Fort +8, Ref +10, Will +5
*Abilities:*            Str 6, Dex 15, Con 11, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 4
*Skills:*               Hide +14, Listen +11, Move Silently +4, Spot +10
*Feats:*                Ability Focus (Distraction), Alertness, Endurance, Stealthy
*Environment:*          Warm or Temperate Plains
*Organization:*         Solitary
*Challenge Rating:*     5
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          ---
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_"These here is holes Bert."_

_"Yep."_

_"You know whut this means don't you?"_

_"Yep."_

_"It means GOPHERS!"_

_"Yep."_

_"Gawds I hate Gophers..."_

Gophers are normally solitary animals, but Dire Gophers like to swarm for reasons unknown to Druid's and other fauna experts.

*Distraction (Ex)*: Any living creature vulnerable to a Swarm's damage that begins it's turn in the Swarm's area must make a DC 18 Fortitude Save or be Nauseated for 1 turn.  See page 316 of the MM.

*Combat*: Gopher swarms attack pretty much like any other swarm.  They're just fuzzier.



*Giant Pocket Gopher Swarm*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I will be reviewing a less diabolical gopher species."

*Beneficial, At Times*
"Aren't Gophers beneficial to the ecosystem?"

"In their natural habit yes.  Farms are not that"

"Maybe I was wrong about it being less diabolical..."

"They are excellent at destroying crops."

*Voracious*

"Why are they swarming that field?"

"Despite not growing much bigger, we think we ramped up their metabolism.  It's made them a wee aggressive."

----------


## Bhu

*Dire Groundhog*
                      Large Animal
*Hit Dice:*             8d8+32 (68 hp)
*Initiative:*           +2
*Speed:*                30 ft. (6 squares), Burrow 20 ft., Climb 20 ft., Swim 20 ft.
*Armor Class:*          16 (-1 Large, +2 Dex, +5 Natural), touch 11, flat-footed 14
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +6/+17
*Attack:*      Claw +12 melee (1d8+7)
*Full Attack:*          2 Claws +12 melee (1d8+7) and 1 Bite +10 melee (2d6+3)
*Space/Reach:*          10 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      -
*Special Qualities:*    Low Light Vision
*Saves:*                Fort +10, Ref +8, Will +4
*Abilities:*            Str 24, Dex 15, Con 18, Int 2, Wis 14, Cha 6
*Skills:*               Climb +15, Listen +9, Spot +10, Swim +15
*Feats:*                Alertness, Endurance, Multiattack
*Environment:*          Underground or Temperate Plains or Forest
*Organization:*         Solitary, Pair, or Group (3-6)
*Challenge Rating:*     4
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          9-12 HD (Large)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_"THERE'S BEARS IN THE GROUND!!!"_

_"Bob...bears don't burrow."_

_"IT SQUEAKED AT ME!!"_

_"Bob...bears don't squeak."_

_"THERE'S BEARS IN THE GROUND!!!"_


Groundhogs are, oddly enough, related to ground squirrels, and accomplished climbers and swimmers.  Which makes Dire Groundhogs an all terrain butt-kicking machine...

*Skills*: Dire Groundhogs have a +8 Racial Bonus to Climb and Swim Checks, and may always Take 10 on a Climb or Swim Check.

*Combat*: Dire Groundhogs prefer not to fight, but lash out wildly with their teeth and claws if someone presses the issue.



*Giant Groundhog*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I will continue to ponder Farmer John's obsession with burrowing mammals."

*A Gardeners BBEG*
"It almost looks like it's daring us to stop it eating the vegetables."

"The Groundhogs are unusually spunky."

"Perhaps a little too brave for their own good?"

"Aren't we all?"

*A Critter Of Many Names*

"How do you market Groundhogs?  People hate Groundhogs."

"Marketing calls them different names.  We also call them chuck, wood-shock, groundpig, whistlepig, whistler, thickwood badger, monax, moonack, weenusk, red monk, land beaver, and thickwood badger.  Whatever works."

----------


## Bhu

*Dire Vole*
                      Tiny Animal
*Hit Dice:*             1/2d8+1 (3 hp)
*Initiative:*           +2
*Speed:*                20 ft. (4 squares), burrow 15 ft.
*Armor Class:*          15 (+2 Size, +2 Dex, +1 Natural), touch 14, flat-footed 13
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +0/-9
*Attack:*               Nibble +4 melee (1d2-1)
*Full Attack:*          Nibble +4 melee (1d2-1)
*Space/Reach:*          2 1/2 ft./0 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      -
*Special Qualities:*    Low Light Vision, Scent
*Saves:*                Fort +3, Ref +4, Will +1
*Abilities:*            Str 8, Dex 15, Con 12, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 4
*Skills:*               Hide +14, Listen +3, Move Silently +6, Search +4, Spot +3
*Feats:*                Weapon Finesse
*Environment:*          Warm or Temperate Plains, Marsh, Hills, Forest, or Mountains   
*Organization:*      Solitary, Pair, or Colony (6-20)
*Challenge Rating:*     1/4
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          2 HD (Small)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_"Bert, whut the hell are you doin' up that tree?"_

_"Thars things in thet thar field Abner! Furry things! They kept lookin' at me and squeakin'!"_

_"They're rats you fool."_

_"NO! No thays too big!"_

_"Dire Rats then."_

_"They don't have huge nekkid tails! They're some weird mouse critter! Git in tha trees, they can't climb!"_

_"Bert...are you drunk?"_

_"..."_

_"Maybe..."_

Voles (also known as Meadow Mice) are pests that inhabit fields.  The Dire versions are somewhat worse being that they're cat sized and tend to be hungrier.

*Skills*: Dire Voles have a +4 Racial Bonus on Hide and Move Silently Checks, and a +8 Racial Bonus on Search Checks.

*Combat*: Dire Voles tend to flee combat, unless cornered, or their pups are threatened.  Then they swarm.



*Giant Vole*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom we'll be doing our obligatory cute episode."

*Meow*
"Giant field mice?  These seem like they would be superfluous after the gophers and such."

"They were a failed experiment that came prior."

"How are they a failure?"

"They have levels of empathy I've never seen in other animals."

*Loyal To A Fault*
"Isn't empathy a good thing?"

"Not when they feel sympathy for the target."

----------


## Bhu

*Dire Pika*
                      Tiny Animal
*Hit Dice:*             1/2d8 (2 hp)
*Initiative:*           +2
*Speed:*                15 ft. (3 squares), either Climb 15 ft. or Burrow 5 ft.
*Armor Class:*          15 (+2 Size, +2 Dex, +1 Natural), touch 14, flat-footed 13
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +0/-
*Attack:*               Nibble +4 melee (1 point)
*Full Attack:*          Nibble +4 melee (1 point)
*Space/Reach:*          2 1/2 ft./0 ft.
*Special Attacks:*   -
*Special Qualities:*    Low Light Vision, Poison Tolerance
*Saves:*                Fort +2, Ref +4, Will +1
*Abilities:*            Str 3, Dex 15, Con 10, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 8
*Skills (burrowing):*              Climb +6, Hide +14, Jump +6, Listen +7, Move Silently +6, Spot +3
*Skills (climibing):*               Balance +6, Climb +10, Jump +6, Listen +7, Spot +3
*Feats:*                Weapon Finesse
*Environment:*          Cold or Temperate Plains or Mountains
*Organization:*         Solitary, Pair, or Family (4-10) 
*Challenge Rating:*     1/4
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          ---
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_"We really should'na brought Sally along fer this.  Cold as a witches behind on this mountain."_

_"We'll think of something Abner.  We always do."_

_"Unca Bert! Unca Abner! Ah found shelter!"_

_"Really?  lead on Sally!"_

moments later

_"Whut the hell?  This cave is full of lil furry critters."_

_"Uh huh, and they says we can spend tha night long as we cause no trouble or squish the lil baby ones."_

_"How does she do this?"_


Dire Pikas are among the worlds cutest furry critters, and come in mountain climbing or plains burrowing varieties.  Despite being huge for Pikas, they're still pretty darn small.

*Poison Tolerance (Ex)*: Pikas eat many plants that are poisonous, and thus have a +4 Racial Bonus on Fortitude Saves against ingested poisons.

*Skills*: Burrowing Pikas have a +4 Racial Bonus on Climb, Hide, Move Silently, and Jump checks.

Climbing Pikas have a +8 Racial Bonus on Climb Checks, and a +4 Racial Bonus on Balance and Jump Checks.

Both types have a +4  Racial Bonus to Listen Checks.  Pikas use Dexterity instead of Strength for Climb and Jump Checks.

*Combat*: Pikas are aggressive for their size, but not stupid.  They flee anything bigger than themselves.  At least until the adventurers go to sleep.



*Giant Pikas*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom we'll be watching a fascinating lagomorph species."

*SQUEE!*
"Okay, I can see these raiding fields, but how are they any different than the others?"

"They have a variety of calls.  Once you understand what they mean, you surround a rival with them, and you have yourself an alarm system that announces his movements."

"You've raised exploitation to an art form."

"High praise from you Harlan."

*Gotta Hug Em All*

"Do you two know each other?"

"Most Wizards know of each other."

"Is that a Shrew?"

----------


## Bhu

*Dire Shrew*
                      Small Animal
*Hit Dice:*             2d8+4 (13 hp)
*Initiative:*           +8
*Speed:*                30 ft. (6 squares), Burrow 20 ft., Climb 30 ft., Swim 30 ft.
*Armor Class:*          16 (+1 Size, +2 Dex, +3 Natural), touch 13, flat-footed 14
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +1/-2
*Attack:*               Bite +6 melee (1d4+3 plus poison)
*Full Attack:*          Bite +6 melee (1d4+3 plus poison)
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Poison
*Special Qualities:*    Low Light Vision, Scent, Hyper Metabolism, Ferocity, Fearless
*Saves:*                Fort +5, Ref +5, Will +2
*Abilities:*            Str 12, Dex 15, Con 15, Int 2, Wis 14, Cha 6
*Skills:*               Climb +10, Hide +6, Listen +6, Move Silently +4, Search +2, Spot +3, Swim +10, Survival +2
*Feats:*                 Improved Initiative, Track (B), Weapon Finesse (B)
*Environment:*          Any Temperate or Warm except Aquatic or Underground
*Organization:*         Solitary
*Challenge Rating:*     1
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          3-4 HD (Medium)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

"RUN! It's a big squeaky thang!!"

Dire Shrews are ravenous pests that infest virtually every environment in the known world.  Since they need to eat their own weight in food each day, they're are considered a prime target for farmers whose stock they tend to raid.  Few critters are as damaging to the environment as the Dire Shrew.

*Poison (Ex)*: Injury, DC 13 Fortitude Save (Save DC is Constitution based), Initial Damage is 1d6 Constitution, Secondary damage is Paralysis.

*Hyper Metabolism (Ex)*: Dire Shrews have a -2 Racial Penalty made on all Fortitude Saves to avoid starvation, and must begin making rolls after 12 hours if it has not eaten.  But it has a Racial Bonus to attack, damage, and initiative rolls equal to it's Constitution Modifier (this is included in the statblock)..  

*Ferocity (Ex)*: The Dire Shrew may fight and act normally from -1 to -9 hit points.

*Fearless (Ex)*: Dire Shrews are immune to Fear effects.

*Skills:* Shrews have a +8 Racial Bonus to Climb and Swim checks, and may always take 10 on a Climb or Swim check.  They also have a +4 Racial Bonus on Listen and Search Checks.

*Combat*: Shrews charge and begin biting furiously, trusting in their venom to bring down prey.  They are almost fearless, and will attack even creatures bigger than  themselves.



*Giant Shrew*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom, I welcome a horrifying distraction."

*The Smallest Of Horrors*
"Shrews?  You really used shrews?"

"Attention all employees!  Attention all employees! The Shrews are loose! I repeat, the Shrews are loose!"

"How could you do this?  The number one rule of minion creation is Never Use Shrews!"

"Look mistakes were made.  Can we discuss this elsewhere?"

*Voracious Eating Machines*

"Where would you suggest?"

"The aquarium.  We can continue our tour of the sabotage division there."

----------


## Bhu

*Dire Electric Eel*
                      Large Animal 
*Hit Dice:*             6d8+12 (39 hp)
*Initiative:*           +4
*Speed:*                Swim 30 ft. (6 squares)
*Armor Class:*          13 (-1 Large, +4 Natural), touch 9, flat-footed 13
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +4/+10
*Attack:*               Bite +6 melee (1d8+2)
*Full Attack:*          Bite +6 melee (1d8+2)
*Space/Reach:*          10 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Shock
*Special Qualities:*    Low Light Vision, Hold Breath, Blindsense
*Saves:*                Fort +7, Ref +5, Will +3
*Abilities:*            Str 14, Dex 10, Con 14, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 4
*Skills:*               Listen +10, Swim +10
*Feats:*                Ability Focus (Shock), Blind-Fight, Improved Initiative
*Environment:*          Warm Aquatic
*Organization:*         Solitary
*Challenge Rating:*     3
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          7-12 HD (Large)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_"Abner that is the biggest eel evah ah did see."_

_"Eel? What...OMG BERT DON"T TOUCH THAT.."_

*KAPOW*

_"Bert? Bert you okay?  Man, explainin' ta yer wife how yer hair got like that is gonna be tuff..."_

Dire Electric  Eels are responsible for much more damage than their normal counterparts, especially to fisheries.

*Shock (Ex)*: At will as a Standard Action the Electric Eel can unleash a powerful electrical pulse doing 6d6 electricity damage in a 30 ft. Radius with itself in the center.  Opponents within this area must make a DC 17 Fortitude Save (Save DC is Constitution based) or be Stunned 1d4 rounds. It is immune to it's own electrical barrage, but not that of other eels, or electrical attacks.

*Blindsense (Ex)*: At will as a Swift Action the Electric Eel can let out a weak pulse of electricity, giving it Blindsense 60 ft. for the round as long as it's underwater.

*Hold Breath (Ex):* The Dire Electric Eel can hold its breath for a number of rounds equal to 8 × its Constitution score before it risks drowning. 

*Skills*: Dire Electric Eels have a +8 Racial Bonus to Swim checks.  Dire Electric Eels may always take 10 on Swim checks, and may use the Run Action while swimming in a straight line.

*Combat*: Dire Electric Eels use their Shock attack as often as possible.  if opponents seem resistant it will try to flee.



*Giant Electric Eel*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom we'll be taking a look at Farmer John's latest risky venture."

*Shocking Consequences*
"An eel that can generate electricity without the need of magic?"

"It even leaps from the water to shock land or air based targets."

"Let me guess.  It causes mass die offs in fisheries?"

"Giving me a target beyond other farming Wizards, yes."

*Not Really An Eel*
"There are Wizards running fisheries?"

"Sir, we run just about everything."

----------


## Bhu

http://www.seasky.org/deep-sea/gulper-eel.html

*Dire Gulper Eel*
                      Large Animal
*Hit Dice:*             6d8+6 (33 hp)
*Initiative:*           +5
*Speed:*                Swim 30 ft. (6 squares)
*Armor Class:*          13 (-1 Size, +1 Dex, +3 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 12
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +4/+11
*Attack:*               Bite +6 melee (1d6+3)
*Full Attack:*          Bite +6 melee (1d6+3)
*Space/Reach:*          10 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Improved Grab, Swallow Whole
*Special Qualities:*    Low Light Vision, Blindsense 30 ft.
*Saves:*                Fort +6, Ref +6, Will +3
*Abilities:*            Str 16, Dex 12, Con 13, Int 1, Wis 12, Cha 2
*Skills:*               Hide +6, Move Silently +6
*Feats:*                Improved Initiative, Skill Focus: Hide, Stealthy
*Environment:*          Any Aquatic
*Organization:*         Solitary
*Challenge Rating:*     2
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          7-12 HD (Large)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_"Bert...I don't like bein' on subs Bert.  I can see things.  Outside the window.  Horrible things that stare at me."_

_"I think you've been reading too many of those horror novels again."_

_"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"_

_"WHAT! What's going on? What's happening?"_

_"A big fish just ate a bigger fish!_

_"Yer killin' me Abner..."_

_"Aw crap it's lookin' at us!"_


Dire Gulper Eels are remarkably stealthy predators for their size.  They are also fairly fragile for their size.

*Swallow Whole (Ex)*: The Dire Gulper Eel may swallow opponents in one of two ways.  First, if it succeeds in biting an opponent up to 1 Size Class larger than itself, it may make a Grapple Check as a Free Action without provoking an Attack of Opportunity.  If successful, it may Swallow it's opponent the next round.  

It may also make a charge attack with it's mouth open, and attempt to swallow any opponent in the way so long as those opponents are at least 2 Size Classes smaller than itself.  A Dire Gulpers stomach can hold up to 1 Huge, 1 Large, 4 Medium, 16 Small, or 32 Tiny or Smaller opponents.  While inside the stomach opponents take 1d6+3 bludgeoning damage, and 1d6 acid damage per round.  A swallowed opponent can cut it's way out by doing 15 points of damage to the Eel's stomach (AC 12) with a light piercing or slashing weapon.  Once the creature exits, muscular action closes the hole, and other swallowed opponents must cut their own way out.

*Skills*: Dire Gulper Eels have a +8 Racial Bonus to Swim Checks, and may always Take 10 on Swim Checks.  They may also use the Run action while swimming in a straight line.

*Combat*: Dire Gulper Eels use a light in their tails to lure in unintelligent prey.  For other, more problematic food they just swim at it with their mouths open and hope to swallow it.



*Giant Gulper Eel*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom we'll be taking a look at nature's cruel sense of humor."

*Also Called The Pelican Eel*
"It's a swimming mouth?"

"Yup.  It was a little too tricky.  So this was the next step."

"It looks...well it doesn't exactly seem incredibly resilient."

"They aren't, which is why there were more experiments."

*Little Is Known*
"I've never seen anything like this."

"The regular species lives very deep in the ocean.  We had to work hard to modify them for life closer to civilization."

----------


## Bhu

*Dire Pelican*
                      Large Animal
*Hit Dice:*             5d8+15 (37 hp)
*Initiative:*           +1
*Speed:*                30 ft. (6 squares), Swim 30 ft., Fly 90 ft. (Average)
*Armor Class:*          13 (-1 Size, +1 Dex, +3 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 13
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +3/+10
*Attack:*               Bite +5 melee (1d8+3)
*Full Attack:*          Bite +5 melee (1d8+3)
*Space/Reach:*          10 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Snatch, Swallow Whole
*Special Qualities:*    Low Light Vision
*Saves:*                Fort +7, Ref +5, Will +2
*Abilities:*            Str 16, Dex 13, Con 16, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 4
*Skills:*               Listen +5, Spot +5, Swim +11
*Feats:*                Flyby Attack, Hover
*Environment:*          Any Warm or Temperate 
*Organization:*         Solitary or Creche (20-100)
*Challenge Rating:*     2
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          6-10 HD (Large)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---


_"Hold still Bert."_

_"It hzz ma hed in it's mouf."_

_"Ah got a fish.  The man down to the pier said they like fish.   Heeeere birdie birdie birdie..."_

Dire Pelicans are evil fish eating monsters.  Or at least that's what the fishermen say.  Of course fishermen tend to drink a lot...

*Snatch (Ex)*: The Dire Pelican can use the Snatch Feat despite not qualifying for it on opponents up to 2 Size Classes Smaller than itself.

*Swallow Whole (Ex)*: A Dire Pelican can Swallow Whole any opponent it has grabbed if it is up to two size classes smaller than itself.  The swallowed opponent takes 1d6+3 bludgeoning damage and 3 points of acid damage per round it is inside the Pelicans stomach.  The victim may cut it's way out with a light slashing or piercing weapon by doing 15 points of damage to it (AC 11).  Once the victim exits muscular action closes the hole, and other swallowed victims must cut their own way out.  The Dire Pelicans stomach can hold 1 Small, 4 Tiny, or 16 Diminutive or smaller opponents.

*Skills*: Dire Pelicans gain a +8 Racial Bonus on all Swim Checks.

*Combat*:  Dire Pelicans are pretty brave if their opponent is smaller than them.  And composed of some sort of fishlike substance.  But occasionally they go mean and attack bigger prey.



*Giant Pelicans*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom we'll be looking at one of nature's biggest nuisances."

*A Fisher's Competition*
"That was a little pointed Harlan..."

"Yes, what have Pelicans ever done to you?"

"They're thieves, they defecate  everywhere, and they are rife with disease and parasites.  One of them killed my pet fish, Binky."


*Gluttons*

"But eating fish is what they do Harlan..."

"Indeed, that's why we use them to hit fisheries from the air."

----------


## Bhu

*Dire Hagfish*
                      Large Animal (Aquatic)
*Hit Dice:*             7d8+7 (38 hp)
*Initiative:*           +3
*Speed:*                Swim 60 ft. (12 squares)
*Armor Class:*          15 (-1 Size, +3 Dex, +3 Natural), touch 12, flat-footed 12
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +5/+11
*Attack:*               Bite +6 melee (1d8+3)
*Full Attack:*          Bite +6 melee (1d8+3)
*Space/Reach:*          10 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Torque
*Special Qualities:*    Slime Defense, Mindless, Sluggish Metabolism, Blindsense, Scent, Blind
*Saves:*                Fort +6, Ref +8, Will +3
*Abilities:*            Str 15, Dex 17, Con 13, Int -, Wis 12, Cha 2
*Skills:*               Escape Artist +7, Swim +10
*Feats:*                ---
*Environment:*          Cold Aquatic
*Organization:*         Solitary or Colony (10-30)
*Challenge Rating:*     3
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          8-12 HD (Large), 13-24 HD (Huge)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_"Our one chance ta go fishin' in ages and it has ta be these 'bominations.  I tell ya Abner I really do think were cursed."_

Hagfish are truly bizarre creatures, alone among the Animal Kingdom as the only creatures possessing a skull but no vertebral column.  They are scavengers who scour the area of corpses, even feeding on injured creatures from the inside.  Despite their disgusting nature they are often used as food and clothing.

*Torque (Ex):* Hagfish use a twisting maneuver to rip prey open, to get inside them.  If the Dire Hagfish makes a Full Attack, and succeeds with it's Bite attack, it automatically does maximum damage.

*Slime Defense (Ex):* Once per Minute the Dire Hagfish can emit a 20 ft. x 20 ft. x 20 ft cloud of slime.  The cloud provides Total Concealment, and all Grapple Checks made within it receive a -10 Circumstance Penalty.  It also clogs the gills of other creatures with the Aquatic Subtype, who immediately begin to Suffocate (see the DMG).  The Dire Hagfish itself is immune to this suffocation effect.  The slime cloud persists for a number of rounds equal to the Dire Hagfishes Constitution score.

*Sluggish Metabolism (Ex):* Unlike normal, a Dire Hagfish can go three months without food as opposed to three days.

*Blindsense (Ex):* A Dire Hagfish can locate creatures underwater within a 30-foot radius. This ability works only when the Dire Hagfish is underwater. 

*Blind (Ex):* The Dire Hagfishes eyes are little used and extremely ineffective, making it all but blind.  Attacks relying on vision such as purely visual illusions or flashes of light have no effect on them.  They are used to being Blind, and take none of the penalties otherwise associated with the condition.

*Skills:* Hagfish gain a +4 Racial Bonus on Escape Artist Checks.  They also gain a +8 Racial Bonus on Swim Checks, and may always Take 10 on a Swim Check.

*Combat:* Most Hagfish aren't particularly aggressive, and are perfectly content with carrion.  Most will blast opponents with slime and flee, but there are a few stubborn ones.



*Giant Hagfish*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I will be showing you an abomination."

*Mostly Scavengers.  Mostly.*
"I'm afraid I agree with Harlan on this one."

"Gentlemen, open your minds please.  They're great for clearing out the pools of dead matter."

"They don't seem to be picky about living matter either."


*A Horrible Way To Die*

"I've never seen a fish devoured from the inside."

"I'll admit, some of them are a tad aggressive..."

----------


## Bhu

*Giant Polychaete Worm (Aquatic)*
                      Large Vermin
*Hit Dice:*             4d8+8 (26 hp)
*Initiative:*           +0
*Speed:*                20 ft. (4 squares), Burrow 20 ft., Swim 10 ft.
*Armor Class:*          13 (-1 Dex, +4 Natural), touch 9, flat-footed 13
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +3/+9
*Attack:*               Bite +4 melee (1d10+4, 19-20, x4)
*Full Attack:*          Bite +4 melee (1d10+4, 19-20, x4)
*Space/Reach:*          10 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Bristles, Ambush, Deadly Jaws, Photoreceptive Reflexes
*Special Qualities:*    Blind, Vermin traits, Mindless, Amphibious, Tremor Sense 60 ft., Blindsense 20 ft.
*Saves:*                Fort +6, Ref +1, Will +2
*Abilities:*            Str 14, Dex 10, Con 14, Int -, Wis 12, Cha 1
*Skills:*               Hide +4 (+12 buried)
*Feats:*                -
*Environment:*          Any Aquatic
*Organization:*         Solitary
*Challenge Rating:*     4
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          5-8 HD (Large), 9-16 HD (Huge)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_"Okay we won't have many chances to get these things.  Bob will detonate the flash grenades when we're at a safe distance. Have your spearguns ready before he sets them off, we won't get a second chance.  Once you fire, get the hell out of there whether you hit or not.  We'll finish off the rest tomorrow"_

Polychaete worms (or at least this giant version) are ambush predators armed with poison bristles along their body that can cause permanent numbness.  Some cryptids are suspected to be enormous Polychaetes.

*Bristles (Ex)*: Contact, DC 14 Fortitude Save, Initial and Secondary Damage is 1d8 Dex.  If the victim rolls a natural 1 on the Saving Throw, the Dexterity loss is permanent instead of temporary (though it can still be healed by any spell curing ability damage).  Any being attacking the Polychaete Worm with an Unarmed Strike, Grapple, or natural weapon must make a Save.  Attacking with a melee weapon that doesn't have Reach gives the opponent a 20% chance each round he attacks of having to make a Save.

*Ambush (Ex)*: The Polychaete Worm can burrow in the bottom until virtually none of it is exposed, gaining Total Concealment.  It waits until prey moves overhead and lunges, potentially doing mass damage.  The Worm gains +3d6 Sneak Attack for that round, and if it successfully critically hits it automatically does maximum damage.

*Deadly Jaws (Ex)*: The Polychaete Worms bite attack does x4 damage on a successful critical hit.  It threatens a critical hit on a Natural 19-20

*Photoreceptive Reflexes (Ex)*: The Polychaete Worm is attracted to light moving past it, which is it's signal to attack.  Due to reflexive action the Worm gains an Attack of Opportunity against anything passing within 5 ft. of it with a light source.  

*Blind (Ex)*: The Polychaete Worm is technically blind, and therefore immune to attacks/abilities that require sight to work.

*Skills*: Polychaete Worms have a +8 Racial Bonus to Hide Checks.  When fully buried within the bottom this increases to +16.

*Combat*: Polychaete Worms are ambush predators that burrow in the ocean bed, and ambush prey traveling above them.  They rarely stand and fight unless the initial strike was successful, retreating into the burrow.



*Giant Polychaete Worm*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom the abominations just keep coming!"

*Attracted By Light*
"And I thought the last one was terrifying."

"Yes, these are definitely one of our more  terrifying choices."

"That's rather frightening coming from you, sir."


*Assassins of the Sea*

"Yes, you're usually more nonchalant about this sort of thing."

"True, but these things keep getting loose unexpectedly."

----------


## Bhu

*Giant Urchin*
                      Medium Vermin (Aquatic)
*Hit Dice:*             3d8+9 (22 hp)
*Initiative:*           -2
*Speed:*                10 ft. (2 squares), Climb 10 ft.
*Armor Class:*          16 (-2 Dex, +8 Natural), touch 8, flat-footed 16
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +2/+4
*Attack:*               Spine Jab +4 melee (1d6+2 plus poison)
*Full Attack:*          Spine Jab +4 melee (1d6+2 plus poison)
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Spiny Defense, Poison
*Special Qualities:*    Vermin traits, 360 degree sight, Immunities, Mindless, Recuperate
*Saves:*                Fort +5, Ref -1, Will +0
*Abilities:*            Str 14, Dex 6, Con 16, Int -, Wis 10, Cha 2
*Skills:*               -
*Feats:*                -
*Environment:*          Any Aquatic
*Organization:*         Solitary or Colony (5-10)
*Challenge Rating:*    4
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          4-6 HD (Medium)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---


_"Bert?  Let me make sure Ah got this straight.  We're diving into the water nekkid, attacking a poisonous spiny ball, and if we survive we have to haul the damn thing up to the surface and repeat.  All while avoidin' bein' eaten by sharks."_

_"Yup."_

_"Howcum we never get normal assignments like killing a buncha Kobolds?"_

_"Have you forgotten the M.A.D.D. lawsuit?"_

Apparently even Sea Urchins have Dire forms.  Often harvested as food and for other purposes, divers who confront them have definite problems killing them and bringing them to the surface.  After all they're basically a 200 pound ball of poison spikes.  And when cut up they become new Sea Urchins eventually, making them a plague on some communities.  Even worse Sea Urchins appear to be effectively immune to disease, and don't really age.  So they're effectively immortal unless killed. Unfortunately they are also quite hyperactive compared to their smaller cousins.

*Spiny Defense (Ex)*: Being covered in spikes, Sea Urchins are difficult to attack.  Anything attacking the Urchin in melee without using a Reach weapon takes 1d6 plus it's own Strength Modifier in piercing damage, and is possibly poisoned.

*Poison (Ex)*: Injury or Ingestion, Fort Save DC 14, Initial and Secondary damage is 1d6 Dexterity.  

*360 Degree Sight (Ex)*: Sea Urchins can only really detect variations in light and dark as opposed to actual images.  Nevertheless they can see in pretty much all directions and thus cannot be flanked.  Due to their poor vision they are invulnerable to all attacks/effects requiring them to be able to see.

*Immunities (Ex)*: Sea Urchins are immune to aging effects, disease, flanking, and critical hits.

*Recuperate (Ex)*: A Sea Urchin Regenerates 1 hit point per hour, and can regenerate any significant amount of lost bodily material.  If a significant chunk of it's body is cut away (at least 20%), the piece will heal 1 hit point per hour until it becomes an entirely new Sea Urchin.

*Combat*: Sea Urchins generally jab opponents and let their venom do the rest of the work.  Once they finally succumb to it the Urchin brings it's grinding mouthplates to bear and devours them.



*Giant Sea Urchins*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Farmer Brown is showing us his latest: an animal that can be raised  as food or to sabotage your enemies!"

*As Close To Immortal As It Gets*
"These seem fairly innoffensive."

"They are voracious bottom feeders.  We use them for invertebrate farms, and even in the fisheries many of their attackers sometimes die from their venom."

"Hardly seems worth the effort.  Which I imagine is why you also eat them"


*You Eat What?*

"Who would want to eat a giant, spiny ball?"

"The truly wealthy.  They'll eat anything if you refer to it as a delicacy."

----------


## Bhu

*Giant Pistol Shrimp*
                      Huge Vermin (Aquatic)
*Hit Dice:*             8d8+24 (60 hp)
*Initiative:*           +2
*Speed:*                30 ft. (6 squares), Swim 30 ft., Burrow 5 ft.
*Armor Class:*          20 (-2 Size, +2 Dex, +10 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 18
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +6/+20
*Attack:*               Claw +10 melee (1d8+6)
*Full Attack:*          Claw +10 melee (1d8+6) or Pistol +6 Ranged Touch (3d6 Sonic)
*Space/Reach:*          15 ft./10 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Pistol Claw
*Special Qualities:*    Dark Vision 60 ft., Vermin traits, Limb Regeneration
*Saves:*                Fort +9, Ref +4, Will +3
*Abilities:*            Str 22, Dex 14, Con 16, Int -, Wis 12, Cha 2
*Skills:*               Hide -2, Spot +5, Swim +14
*Feats:*                ---
*Environment:*          Any Aquatic
*Organization:*         Solitary or Colony (6-30)
*Challenge Rating:*     5
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          9-13 HD (Huge), 14-16 HD (Gargantuan)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_"Were goin' fishin' Abner!"_

_"Awright!  It's about time Bert!"_

_"Here's your ring of water breathing."_

_"What the hell are these for?"_

_"We're goin' fishin' underwater."_

_"For what?"_

_"Shrimp..."_

Giant Pistol Shrimp are truck sized crustaceans with an odd claw that allows them to shoot a sonic blast in t he form of a stream of bubbles.  It is capable of killing small prey and stunning larger opponents.  There are several kinds of Pistol Shrimp.  Some live in large colonies, and some live in a symbiotic relationship in a burrow with Giant Goby fish.

*Pistol Claw (Ex):* When making a Full Attack the Pistol Shrimp can use it's special claw.  When it snaps together it creates a bubble which momentarily reaches temperatures similar to the sun causing a shockwave.  It makes a Ranged Touch Attack on any square within 60'.  Anything within the square takes 3d6 Sonic damage and make a DC 17 Fortitude Save or be both Stunned and Deafened for 1d3 rounds.

*Limb Regeneration (Ex):* If a Pistol Shrimp loses a limb it regenerates within 1d4 weeks.

*Skills:* Giant Pistol Shrimp get a +8 Racial Bonus on Swim checks, and may always Take 10 on a Swim Check.  They also have a +4 Racial Bonus on Hide and Spot Checks.

*Combat:* Giant Pistol Shrimp generally fire off their pistol attack to stun or kill prey before finishing it off with their claw.



*Giant Pistol Shrimp*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom, Jim and I witness an ill fated idea."

*A Miracle of Nature*
"Is it wise ti give giant form to a creature with a ranged weapon?"

"They only use it in the water, we just have to stay on land."

"You should have learned from bitter experience that's not the way it works by now."


*Symbiotic Relationship*

"What's that fish in it's burrow?"

"Why, that's it's minion of course."

----------


## Bhu

*Goby Minion*
                      Huge Animal (Aquatic)
*Hit Dice:*             8d8+16 (52 hp)
*Initiative:*           +3
*Speed:*                Swim 50 ft. (10 squares)
*Armor Class:*          16 (-2 Size, +3 Dex, +5 Natural), touch 11, flat-footed 13
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +6/+15
*Attack:*               Bite +9 melee (1d8+5)
*Full Attack:*          Bite +9 melee (1d8+5)
*Space/Reach:*          15 ft./10 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      -
*Special Qualities:*    Low Light Vision, Blindsense 60 ft., Enhanced Sight
*Saves:*                Fort +8, Ref +9, Will +4
*Abilities:*            Str 20, Dex 16, Con 14, Int 2, Wis 14, Cha 6
*Skills:*               Hide -2, Listen +9, Spot +10
*Feats:*                Alertness, Endurance, Skill Focus: Hide
*Environment:*          Any Aquatic
*Organization:*         Solitary (usually shares cave burrow with Giant Pistol Shrimp)
*Challenge Rating:*     2
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          9-16 HD (Huge)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_"Bert is that giant shrimp petting that giant fish?"_

_"I'll be damn glad when we retire Abner.  Things just ain't the same anymore as when we started."_

Goby Minions are an odd species of fish living in a symbiotic relationship with Giant Pistol Shrimp.   The Shrimp builds and excavates a burrow, and  the Goby (which has much better vision) maintains guard and warns it of danger so they can both hide.  Although good lord knows what the combo has to hide from.  Krakens maybe.  Goby Minions are oddly somewhat trainable, and many would be evil madmen keep them as warning systems.

*Enhanced Sight (Ex):* Goby Minions can see normally in clear water, and 2d8x10 ft. in murky water.

*Combat:* Gobies hate fighting and prefer to hide in their shared burrows.  If necessary they will bite and usually flee unless their benefactor shrimp is threatened.



*Giant Goby*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom, Jim and I witness a clear violation of union rules."

*Loyal For A Fish*
"You are aware Statute 12 of the Guild of Evil Minions states that Minions are not allowed Minions of their own?"

"That only applies to intelligent Minions."

"I'd double check that with an attorney if I were you."


*Easily Trained*

"What does ti do anyway?"

"Lookout and early warning system mostly.  Occasionally a tag team partner."

----------


## Bhu

*Giant Man o' War*
                      Medium Vermin (Aquatic)
*Hit Dice:*             5d8 (22 hp)
*Initiative:*           -5
*Speed:*                Swim 0 ft. (0 squares), but see below
*Armor Class:*          6 (-5 Dex, +1 Natural), touch 5, flat-footed 6
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +3/+3
*Attack:*               See Special attacks
*Full Attack:*          See Special attacks
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Poison strands, Digestive Polyps
*Special Qualities:*    Blind, Wind Powered Movement, Deflate, Mindless
*Saves:*                Fort +4, Ref -4, Will +1
*Abilities:*            Str 11, Dex -, Con 11, Int -, Wis 11, Cha -
*Skills:*               ---
*Feats:*                ---
*Environment:*          Warm Aquatic
*Organization:*         Solitary, Pod (5-10), Mass (100-1000)
*Challenge Rating:*     2
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          6-7 HD (Medium), 8-15 HD (Large)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

This is a gigantic version of the Man o' War, a floating siphonophore collective.  

*Poison strands (Ex):* The Man o' War has poison strands hanging in a 90 ft. Line below it.  Anything entering this area is stung and must make a Save vs Poison.  Anything attacking the Man o' War in melee (unless they have a Reach Weapon) must also make a Save vs Poison.  Contact, DC 16 (Save DC is Con based with a +4 Racial Bonus).  Initial damage is a -4 penalty on attack rolls, skill checks, and ability checks.  Secondary damage is Paralysis.

*Digestive Polyps (Ex):* Anything that is paralyzed within the Man o' Wars poison tendrils is slowly reeled up to the main body at a rate of 5 ft. per round.  Once it arrives digestive polyps do 1d8 acid damage per round.

*Blind (Ex):* The Man o' War has no eyes, and is therefore immune to spells, attacks, or effects (such as bright light) that require an opponent to have eyesight to be effective.

*Wind Powered Movement (Ex):* If it's air bladder is inflated, the Man o' War travels at the mercy of the winds, going in whichever direction the winds are blowing.  Travel speed is the winds mph as feet.  i.e if the winds are 10 mph, swim speed is 10 ft.  If it's 50 mph, swim speed is 50 ft.

*Deflate (Ex):* If attacked at the surface the Man o' War can deflate it's airbag, sinking at a rate of 10 ft. per round.

*Combat:* Man o' Wars are incapable of initiating combat.  The only significant danger they present is accidentally blundering into one, or being foolish enough to attack it.



*Giant Man O' War*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom, Jim and I are seeing new ideas for marine warfare."

*Living Mines*
"These things don't even move under their own power."

"They don't need to.  You whip up a wind and send them barreling towards your opponents."

"And afterwards?"


*Surprisingly Resilient*

"Yes, what happens after the fight, and you've littered the area with toxic beasts?"

"You leave, and never go back.  And wall the area off, if you can afford it."

----------


## Bhu

*Dire Stingray*
Huge Animal (Aquatic)
*Hit Dice:* 12d8+72 (126 hp)
*Initiative:* +2
*Speed:* Swim 50 ft. (10 squares)
*Armor Class:* 18 (-2 Size, +2 Dex, +8 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 16
*Base Attack/Grapple:* +8/+23
*Attack:* Tail Lash +17 melee (1d8+11 plus poison)
*Full Attack:* Tail Lash +17 melee (1d8+11 plus poison)
*Space/Reach:* 15 ft./10 ft.
*Special Attacks:* Poison Sting
*Special Qualities:* Low Light Vision, Blindsense 30 ft.
*Saves:* Fort +14, Ref +12, Will +6
*Abilities:* Str 32, Dex 14, Con 22, Int 2, Wis 14, Cha 2
*Skills:* Hide -2 (+2 underwater), Listen +6, Search +3, Spot +6, Swim +19
*Feats:* Ability Focus (Poison), Alertness, Blind-Fight, Combat Reflexes, Lightning Reflexes
*Environment:* Warm Aquatic
*Organization:* Solitary
*Challenge Rating:* 9
*Treasure:* None
*Alignment:* Always Neutral
*Advancement:* 13-19 HD (Huge), 20-24 HD (Gargantuan)
*Level Adjustment:* ---

_"What fool through a perfectly good tent in the river?"_

_"Abner! Abner that ain't no tent!  Abner!!"_

Dire Stingrays are unusually large stingrays that are much of concern to any tribes dependent on the jungle rivers they occupy.

*Poison Sting (Ex)*:  The sting in a Dire Stingrays tail is far more deadly than it's smaller cousins.  Injury, DC 24 Fort Save (Save DC is Constitution based), Initial Damage is 2d4 Constitution and Secondary Damage is Paralysis for 2d4 rounds.  Probably not a good thing since you'll be in the water.

*Blindsense (Ex)*: While underwater the Dire Stingray can sense any creature within 30 ft.

*Skills*: Dire Stingrays have a +8 Racial Bonus on all Swim Checks, and can Always Take 10 on a Swim Check. Due to being largely the same color as the muddy river waters they live in, Dire Stingrays gain a +4 Racial Bonus to Hide Checks underwater.

*Combat*: Dire Stingrays attack pretty much the way regular Stingrays do, by charging and lashing with their tail.  Well okay usually regular Stingrays are more subtle or likely to swim away, but these suckers are huge.



*Giant Stingrays*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom, we continue with Farmer John's obsession with venom."

*Badly Damaging To Shellfish Beds*
"I can see these being dangerous, but saboteurs?"

"They are a shrimpery's worst nightmare"

"Does that make up for the immense danger in raising them?"

"Mostly."


*Surprisingly Stealthy*

"That doesn't sound encouraging."

"Clearly, sir, you have never randomly been under assault by  packs of heavily armed drifters."

----------


## Bhu

*Dire Piranha*
Small Animal (Aquatic)
*Hit Dice:* 2d8+4 (13 hp)
*Initiative:* +1
*Speed:* Swim 40 ft. (8 squares)
*Armor Class:* 14 (+1 Size, +1 Dex, +2 Natural), touch 12, flat-footed 13
*Base Attack/Grapple:* +1/-4
*Attack:* Bite +2 melee (1d6-1)
*Full Attack:* Bite +2 melee (1d6-1)
*Space/Reach:* 5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:* Shearing Bite
*Special Qualities:* Low Light Vision, Blindsense 30 ft.
*Saves:* Fort +5, Ref +4, Will +2
*Abilities:* Str 8, Dex 13, Con 14, Int 1, Wis 14, Cha 2
*Skills:* Hide +6, Listen +4, Spot +4, Swim +7
*Feats:* Weapon Finesse
*Environment:* Warm Aquatic
*Organization:* Solitary or School (2-4)
*Challenge Rating:* 1/2
*Treasure:* None
*Alignment:* Always Neutral
*Advancement:* 3-4 HD (Medium)
*Level Adjustment:* ---

_"Ah don't like this river Bert."_

_"Oh quit complainin' and help me look fer that missin' woman..."_

_"The waters too dark.  I can't see whats swimmin' in it with us.  It makes me feel all twitchy like..."_

_"Just relax Abner."_

_"Bert...something has my toe...and not in a good way..."_

Dire Piranha are perhaps more vicious than their smaller brethren.  Thankfully there aren't quite as many of them, or the rivers would be stripped of life...

*Shearing Bite (Ex)*: The Bite of a Piranha does x4 damage on a successful critical hit.

*Blindsense (Ex)*: While underwater the Dire Piranha can sense any creature within 30 ft.

*Skills*: Dire Piranhas have a +8 Racial Bonus on all Swim Checks, and can Always Take 10 on a Swim Check.  They may use the Run Action while swimming in a straight line.

*Combat*: Dire Piranhas tend to bite and retreat, repeating until their victim is dead.



*Giant Piranha*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom, we find ourselves amidst a cliche of horror tales."

*Worse Than Regular Piranha*
"Are you insane?"

"I think we all know the answer to that by now."

"You know these things always get loose right?"


*Actually Quite Omnivorous*

"Do you have the appropriate precautions?  These are the shrews of the fish world."

"Gentleman, I can assure you we are fine.  They can't get loose."

WOOT! WOOT! WOOT!

"Sir, the piranha are loose."

"Gentlemen, perhaps we should retire to my private zoo.  We have a new marsupial exhibit."

"I'm always a sucker for a good marsupial."

----------


## Bhu

*Dire Tree Kangaroo*
                      Large Animal
*Hit Dice:*             5d8+10 (32 hp)
*Initiative:*           +4
*Speed:*                20 ft. (4 squares), Climb 40 ft.
*Armor Class:*          16 (-1 Size, +4 Dex, +3 Natural), touch 13, flat-footed 12
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +3/+11
*Attack:*               Claw +6 melee (1d4+4)
*Full Attack:*          2 Claws +6 melee (1d4+4)
*Space/Reach:*          10 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Pounce from Above!
*Special Qualities:*    Low Light Vision, Tree Travel, Scent
*Saves:*                Fort +6, Ref +8, Will +2
*Abilities:*            Str 18, Dex 18, Con 15, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 6
*Skills:*               Balance +13, Climb +14, Hide +2, Jump +25, Listen +5, Move Silently +6, Spot +5
*Feats:*                Alertness, Stealthy
*Environment:*          Warm Forest
*Organization:*         Solitary
*Challenge Rating:*     2
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:* 
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_"GIT IT OFF MEEEEEEE...aww it's all cute and fuzzy like...BUT ITS EVIL!! GITITOFFMEEEEEEE"_

Dire Tree Kangaroos are fuzzy marsupial critters almost the size of tigers, with a sense of humor (they enjoy pouncing on people from out of trees).  They are otherwise fairly adorable.

*Pounce from Above (Ex):* When leaping from a tree onto an opponent below the Dire Tree Kangaroo is considered to be doing a Charge Attack and does +2d6 damage as it lands on the opponent.  Both the Kangaroo and the opponent end the round Prone.

*Tree Travel (Ex):* Dire Tree Kangaroos may move through the trees quicker than they can on the ground.  A Dire Tree Kangaroo may move at 40 ft. while leaping through the trees.

*Skills:* The Dire Tree Kangaroo has a +8 Racial Bonus to Climb and Balance checks, and a +20 Racial Bonus to Jump checks.

*Combat:* Dire Tree Kangaroos generally aren't all that offensive, but they are sometimes a bit territorial.  Hence they tend to drop from the sky on unsuspecting adventurers every so often.



*Giant Tree Kangaroo*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom we'll be looking at adorable zoo animals."

*Slow On The Ground*
"Harlan, it's huge.  And I don't like the twinkle in it's eye."

"We have had issues with them pouncing on people, but they're just playing mostly.."

"Does it still hurt?"

"Well...yes."

*They Spend Most Of Their Life In Trees*

"So it can be dangerous?"

"No! No they're folivores.  Perfectly harmless."

----------


## Bhu

*Dire Kangaroo*
                      Large Animal
*Hit Dice:*             5d8+15 (37 hp)
*Initiative:*           +3
*Speed:*                50 ft. (10 squares)
*Armor Class:*          16 (-1 Size, +3 Dex, +4 Natural), touch 12, flat-footed 13
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +3/+10
*Attack:*               Paw +9 melee (1d8+6)
*Full Attack:*          2 Paws +9 melee (1d8+6)
*Space/Reach:*          10 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Improved Grab, Spring Kick
*Special Qualities:*    Low Light Vision, Short Term Speed, Scent
*Saves:*                Fort +7, Ref +7, Will +2
*Abilities:*            Str 22, Dex 16, Con 16, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 10
*Skills:*               Jump +14, Listen +5, Spot +5
*Feats:*                Improved Bull Rush, Power Attack
*Environment:*          Warm Plains
*Organization:*         Solitary, Pair, Troop (5-12)
*Challenge Rating:*     3
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          6-10 HD (Large)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_"You hired us ta fight mice?  Bert we can't fight mice.  The other adventurers will make fun of us.  Wtf man?"_

_"No no, I said they look like mice.  Kind of.  But not really."_

_"We're fightin' some horrifyin' abomination of nature agin aren't we?"_

Dire Kangaroos are mischievous roos about 13 foot tall that like to grapple and box the humanoid races for sport.  They're kinda mean.  But the locals say they taste pretty good.  Of course the locals may be biased because the roos beat the crap out of them on a daily basis.

*Improved Grab (Ex)*:  If a Dire Kangaroo hits with it's Paw attack, it can immediately make a Grapple Check as a Free Action without provoking an Attack of Opportunity.  If successful it does it's Paw damage each round as it continues to wail on it's grappled victim.

*Spring Kick (Ex)*: As a Full Attack Action the kangaroo jumps up and slams both back claws into it's opponents mid section.  It does 4d6+6 damage.

*Short Term Speed (Ex):* Once per hour, a Kangaroo can move ten times its normal speed (500 feet) for a number of rounds equal to it's Constitution modifier.

*Skills*: Dire Kangaroos have a +8 Racial Bonus to Jump Checks.

*Combat*: Dire Kangaroos open with a charge if the opponent isn't close, and immediately close to begin grappling if they are.



*Giant Kangaroo*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom we'll be...Oh hell, not these things."

*Surprisingly Aggressive*
"Bad experience with Kangaroos, Harlan?"

"In his defense, they can be creepy."

"Look at that one.  Look at how it's just setting there.  Looming."

"Yeah, that's normal for him.  We think he's a serial killer."

*Few Natural Predators*

"And you keep him around?"

"Jim, he punched a Dragon once."

"And he's still alive?"

----------


## Bhu

*Dire Rock Wallaby*
                      Medium Animal
*Hit Dice:*             2d8+2 (11 hp)
*Initiative:*           +3
*Speed:*                30 ft. (6 squares), Climb 30 ft.
*Armor Class:*          15 (+3 Dex, +2 Natural), touch 13, flat-footed 12
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +1/+3
*Attack:*               Paw +4 melee (1d6+2)
*Full Attack:*          2 Paws +4 melee (1d6+2)
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Improved Grab
*Special Qualities:*    Low Light Vision
*Saves:*                Fort +4, Ref +6, Will +1
*Abilities:*            Str 14, Dex 16, Con 12, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 5
*Skills:*               Climb +11, Jump +6, Listen +6, Spot +5
*Feats:*                Alertness, Weapon Finesse (B)
*Environment:*          Warm Hills or Mountains
*Organization:*         Solitary, Pair, or Colony (6-100)
*Challenge Rating:*     1
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          3-4 HD (Medium)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_"These lil not mouse critters seem nicer than the bigger ones."_

_"Uh...Abner the tall male is lookin' at you kinda funny like...like he's mad or somethin'..."_

Dire Rock Wallabies are almost the size of regular kangaroos.  Meaning they look like...kangaroos.  Kangaroos with attitude who look like they want to kick your behind.  For no better reason than that you're there.

*Improved Grab (Ex)*: If a Dire Wallaby hits with it's Paw attack, it can immediately make a Grapple Check as a Free Action without provoking an Attack of Opportunity.  If successful it does it's Paw damage each round as it continues to wail on it's grappled victim.

*Skills*: Dire Rock Wallabies gain a +8 Racial Bonus to Climb Checks and a +4 Racial Bonus to Jump Checks.  Wallabies can always Take 10 on a Climb Check, and can use their Str or Dex modifier for Climb Checks (whichever is higher).

*Combat*: Unexpectedly feistier than their larger kin, Wallabies charge en masse and begin wailing on everything in their path.



*Giant Rock Wallaby*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom we'll be reviewing Kangaroos again."

*Born Wrong*
"These are Wallabies Harlan."

"Perhaps he's had bad experiences with them too."

"A group of them beat me like a rag doll once."

"Really?  We thought their mind-numbing aggression was a flaw in the magical process."

*They Really Do Live On Rocks*

"Um...how aggressive?"

"They beat me once too.  I think they sensed I was out of spells."

----------


## Bhu

*Dire Platypus*
                      Medium Animal
*Hit Dice:*             2d8+2 (11 hp)
*Initiative:*           +2
*Speed:*                30 ft. (6 squares), Swim 30 ft.
*Armor Class:*          15 (+2 Dex, +3 Natural), touch 12, flat-footed 13
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +1/+2
*Attack:*               Spur +3 melee (1d6+1 plus poison)
*Full Attack:*          2 Spurs +3 melee (1d6+1 plus poison)
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Poison
*Special Qualities:*    Low Light Vision, Hold Breath, Blindsense 30 ft.
*Saves:*                Fort +4, Ref +5, Will +1
*Abilities:*            Str 13, Dex 15, Con 13, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 10
*Skills:*               Escape Artist +6, Listen +2, Search +2, Spot +2, Swim +10
*Feats:*                Blind-Fighting, Ability Focus (Poison)(B), Weapon Finesse (B)
*Environment:*          Warm Aquatic
*Organization:*         Solitary, Pair, or Group (3-5)
*Challenge Rating:*     1
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          3-4 HD (Medium)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_"Abner...the ducks here got fur..."_

_"Thems not ducks, thems Beavers."_

_"Beavers ain't got bills Abner..."_

Dire Platypi are (almost) harmless water dwelling critters that simply wish to be left in peace.  And if they aren't, their venom will soon ensure that others DO leave them (perhaps not necessarily in peace).  Do not try to pet the fluffehs in the water childrens...

*Poison (Ex)*: Injury, DC 14 Fortitude Save (Save DC is Constitution based), Initial damage is Paralysis for 1d4 minutes, Secondary damage is a -4 Penalty to all rolls for 24 hours, and a -2 to all Fortitude Saves for 1d6 days.

*Hold Breath (Ex)*: The Dire Platypus can hold it's breath for (8x Con modifier) rounds before it risks drowning.

*Blindsense (Ex)*: Dire Platypi can sense anything within 30 ft. as long as they are underwater.

*Skills*: Dire Platypi get a +8 Racial Bonus to Swim Checks, and may always take 10 on a Swim check.  They may take the Run Action while swimming in a straight line.  They also gain a +4 Racial Bonus to Escape Artist and Search Checks.

*Combat*: Dire Platypi usually swat their opponents with their spurs and hope the venom takes effect.  If it doesn't they may repeat a round or two before fleeing.  Considering it's effects, opponents had really better hope they make that Fort Save.



*Giant Platypus*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom we'll be looking at the Gawds sense of humor."

*Aw, It's So Cute!*
"Oh Jebus, I remember these."

"Bad experience Jim?"

"The first time Jim met a regular Platypus no one told me about the spurs."

"Oh, ouch.  I hope you had a good cleric."

*Clerics Can't Help*

"They kept trying to find spells to soothe pain.  For some reason no one thought of poison."

"That's how you tell your cleric is a rookie."

----------


## Bhu

*Dire Echidna*
                      Medium Animal
*Hit Dice:*             2d8+2 (11 hp)
*Initiative:*           +0
*Speed:*                20 ft. (4 squares), Burrow 20 ft.
*Armor Class:*          16 (+6 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 16
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +1/+3
*Attack:*               Claw +3 melee (1d6+2)
*Full Attack:*          2 Claws +3 melee (1d6+2)
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      -
*Special Qualities:*    Low Light Vision, Scent, Spiny Defense, Swarm Defense, Blindsight 10 ft.
*Saves:*                Fort +4, Ref +3, Will +1
*Abilities:*            Str 14, Dex 10, Con 12, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 8
*Skills:*              Hide +5, Listen +2, Spot +2, Survival +2
*Feats:*                Skill Focus (Hide)
*Environment:*          Warm Plains, Forests or Hills
*Organization:*         Solitary
*Challenge Rating:*     1
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Usually Neutral
*Advancement:*          3-4 HD (Medium)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---


_"Awright lookee here Bert!  You and Abner wuz paid to kill this damn thing so get to killin'."_

_"Joseph you really shouldn't mention killin' critters right now we got our niece Sandy with us.  She's ... partial to critters._

_"Ah don' give a damn if she braids their hair and shampoos their buttcheeks, I want this thang gone."_

_"HEED MAH CALL, OH WARRIORS OF THA FUR!"_

_"Aw crap...here we go..."_

Y'all pretty much know what an Echidna is.  The Blindsight if from it's snouts ability to sense electrical impulses.

*Spiny Defense (Ex):* Anyone attacking the Dire Echidna with an Unarmed Strike, Grapple, or Natural Weapon takes (1d6 plus their own Str modifier) piercing damage.  When fighting using the Total Defense option it rolls into an armored ball raising it's Natural AC Bonus to +8.

*Swarm Defense (Ex):* Echidnas have DR 6/-, but only against Swarm attacks.

*Skills:* +4 Racial Bonus to Survival Checks to Track by Scent.  They gain a +4 Circumstance Bonus to Hide Checks in areas of thick undergrowth or if they are half buried near them.

*Combat:* Generally Echidnas flee, burrow, roll into a ball, or some other defensive tactic.  But their claws are quite strong if you are careless...




*Giant Echidna*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom we'll be looking at ... what is this exactly?"

*Voted Most Likely To Survive A Bushfire*
"I thught you knew your marsupials Harlan?"

"Echidnas are famous after all."

"Famous for what?"

"Ant killers.  I actually made these to help with our giant ant problem a while back."

*The Can Sense Electrical Fields*

"But giant ants are as big as this Echidna is."

"They were more 'biggie-sized' ants than true giants."

----------


## Bhu

*Wombat*
                      Small Animal
*Hit Dice:*             1d8+2 (6 hp)
*Initiative:*           +3
*Speed:*                30 ft. (3 squares), Burrow 5 ft.
*Armor Class:*          15 (+1 Size, +3 Dex, +1 Natural), touch 14, flat-footed 12
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +0/-3
*Attack:*               Claw +4 melee (1d3+1)
*Full Attack:*          2 Claws +4 melee (1d3+1) and 1 bite -1 melee (1d3)
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Tunnel Fighting
*Special Qualities:*    Low-light Vision, Speed Burst, Armored Butt
*Saves:*                Fort +4, Ref +5, Will +1
*Abilities:*            Str 12, Dex 17, Con 15, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 6
*Skills:*               Hide +7, Listen +6, Move Silently +3, Search -3, Spot +2, Survival +2
*Feats:*                Weapon Finesse
*Environment:*          Warm Plains and Forest
*Organization:*         Solitary
*Challenge Rating:*     1/2
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          2 HD (Small)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

Wombats are adorable little Australian critters that are deceptively strong for their size.   

*Tunnel Fighting:* The Wombat's penalties for fighting in restricted spaces (see Underdark page 112) are lowered by an additional -2.

*Speed Burst:* If scared, or it wishes to leave, once per hour the Wombat may move up to ten times it's base Land Speed for 1 full round as long as it takes the Run action.

*Armored Butt:* Wombats have thick smooth hide on their behinds to prevent predators from pulling them from burrows, giving them DR 3/- against opponents they are unaware of.

*Skills:* Wombats gain a +4 Racial Bonus on Listen Checks.

*Combat:* Normally shy and retiring, Wombats can be utterly vicious if cornered or scared.




*Dire Wombat*
                      Large Animal
*Hit Dice:*             8d8+40 (76 hp)
*Initiative:*           +5
*Speed:*                50 ft. (5 squares), Burrow 10 ft.
*Armor Class:*          16 (-1 Size, +1 Dex, +6 Natural), touch <#>, flat-footed <#>
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +6/+17
*Attack:*               Claw +12 melee (1d6+7)
*Full Attack:*          2 Claws +12 melee (1d6+7) and 1 Bite +10 melee (1d6+3)
*Space/Reach:*          10 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Tunnel Fighting
*Special Qualities:*    Low-light Vision, Speed Burst, Armored Butt
*Saves:*                Fort +11, Ref +7, Will +3
*Abilities:*            Str 25, Dex 13, Con 20, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 6
*Skills:*               Hide +1, Listen +6, Move Silently +3, Search -2, Spot +3, Survival +4
*Feats:*                Dodge, Improved Initiative, Multiattack
*Environment:*          Warm Plains and Forest
*Organization:*         Solitary
*Challenge Rating:*     5
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          9-12 HD (Large), 13-24 HD (Huge)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

Most Wombats are pet sized, despite not making very good pets.  Dire Wombats are rhinoceros sized.  They're also a tad more persnickety and less easily intimidated.

*Tunnel Fighting:* The Wombat's penalties for fighting in restricted spaces (see Underdark page 112) are lowered by an additional -2.

*Speed Burst:* If scared, or it wishes to leave, once per hour the Wombat may move up to ten times it's base Land Speed for 1 full round as long as it takes the Run action.

*Armored Butt:* Wombats have thick smooth hide on their behinds to prevent predators from pulling them from burrows, giving them DR 6/- against opponents they are unaware of.

*Skills:* Wombats gain a +4 Racial Bonus on Listen Checks.

*Combat:* Dire Wombats will run for brief periods of time to convince opponents they are fleeing.  Then the little fluffy jerks circle back around and charge you from behind.




*Giant Wombats*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I will be fangirling over Wombats "

*Adorable, But Temperamental*
"I love these things, but you probably shouldn't have made them giant"

"On that we agree.  They are spectacularly stubborn."

"And adorable!"

"They're pretty popular."

*They Poop Cubes*

"How do you keep them here?"

"We have stone floors under the dirt.  Somehow they still get out.  We found one in the Aviary last week."

"The Aviary?"

----------


## Bhu

*Dire Ibis*
                      Medium Animal
*Hit Dice:*             4d8+8 (26 hp)
*Initiative:*           +5
*Speed:*                30 ft. (6 squares), Fly 80 ft. (Average)
*Armor Class:*          14 (+1 Dex, +3 Natural), touch 11, flat-footed 13
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +3/+5
*Attack:*               Bite +5 melee (1d6+2)
*Full Attack:*          Bite +5 melee (1d6+2)
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      -
*Special Qualities:*    Low Light Vision, Hold Breath
*Saves:*                Fort +6, Ref +5, Will +2
*Abilities:*            Str 14, Dex 13, Con 14, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 8
*Skills:*               Listen +5, Search +3, Spot +5, Swim +10
*Feats:*                Alertness, improved Initiative
*Environment:*          Warm Marsh or Forest
*Organization:*          Solitary, Pair, or Colony (5-30)
*Challenge Rating:*     2
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          5-6 HD (Medium), 7-8 HD (Large)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_"Swamps.  Ah hate swamps."_

_"Calm down Abner."_

_"Ain't nuthin' good comes out of swamps..."_

_"We've done worse..."_

_"Ah was sued by thet Medusa last time we went into a swamp..."_

Ibis are wading birds that are normally harmless to people, but Dire Ibis flocks can wipe out fish supplies if left unchecked.

*Hold Breath (Ex)*: Dire Ibis may hold their breath for (4 times Constitution modifier) before it risks drowning.

*Skills*: Dire Ibis gain a +8 Racial Bonus to all Swim Checks, and a +4 Racial Bonus to all Search Checks.

*Combat*: Ibis normally peck at opponents, and retreat if they are troublesome.



*Giant Ibis*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom we'll be visiting Farmer Johns birdhouse."

*Highly Territorial When Nesting or Feeding*
"I'm surprised you didn't use these to sabotage shrimp farmers."

"We did.  But they did  nothing but fight each other."

"They can be aggressive."

"Then there were the cultists..."

*Religious Symbols*
"Cultists?"

"A lot of religions use them as symbols.  Ever wake up to a bunch of hooded weirdos standing over your bed yammering about their Great Bird God?."

"That would be a hard no."

----------


## Bhu

*Dire Flamingo*
                      Huge Animal                                                                                 
*Hit Dice:*             10d8+30 (75 hp)
*Initiative:*           +2
*Speed:*                40 ft. (8 squares), Fly 100 ft. (Average)
*Armor Class:*          14 (-2 Size, +2 Dex, +4 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 12
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +7/+23
*Attack:*               Bite +13 melee (2d6+12)
*Full Attack:*          Bite +13 melee (2d6+12)
*Space/Reach:*          15 ft./15 ft.
*Special Attacks:*    Swallow Whole, Boiling Sneeze
*Special Qualities:*    Low Light Vision, Hold Breath, Water Resistance
*Saves:*                Fort +10, Ref +9, Will +5
*Abilities:*            Str 26, Dex 15, Con 16, Int 2, Wis 14, Cha 10
*Skills:*               Listen +5, Search +5, Spot +5
*Feats:*                Alertness, Endurance, Multisnatch, Snatch
*Environment:*         Warm Marshes
*Organization:*         Solitary, Pair, or Flock (10-100) 
*Challenge Rating:*     7
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*         11-20 HD (Huge)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_"More friggin' birds...whut the hell are they doin' anyways?"_

_"They's eatin' the shrimp in this here marsh were wadin' in.  It's how they get their pink feathers._

_"WHUT?  Lookit the size of them things! How big are the shrimp theys eatin?"_

_"...uuhh..."_

_Let's git tha hell outta this water Bert!"_

*Swallow Whole (Ex)*: If a Dire Flamingo successfully uses it's Snatch Feat it may attempt to Swallow Whole it's victim the next round with a successful Grapple Check.  A swallowed creature takes 2d8+8 points of bludgeoning damage and 8 points of acid damage each round it remains swallowed.  It can escape by doing 25 points of damage to the Flamingos stomach (AC 12) wit ha light piercing or slashing weapon.  Once the victim exits muscular action closes the hole, and additional swallowed opponents must cut their own way out.

*Boiling Sneeze (Ex):* When wading in the boiling salt pools in their native habitat, the flamingo has an additional defense.  As a Full Attack Action it can take a drink of the boiling water, and sneeze it at opponents.  This is a ranged touch attack with a range of 15 feet, and is +9 to hit.  If successful the opponent takes 6d6 fire damage.

*Hold Breath (Ex)*: A Dire Flamingo can hold it's breath for (Constitution Modifier times 6) turns before it risks drowning.

*Water Resistance:* Flamingos can submerge any part of themselves in boiling water, and thus have Fire Resistance 10 to such effects.  Actual fire still hurts them.

*Combat*: Dire Flamingos rarely attack in flight.  Usually they land to peck, and take off only if they're losing or their opponents can fly.



*Giant Flamingos*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I will be ... looking at some truly huge, pink birds."

*Pink because They Eat Plankton*
"These are fairly impractical sir.  Maintaining the boiling pools of water alone must be a fortune."

"No worries, the staff has protective suits."

"Protective suits?"

"They cough up the water after they feed from it."

*They Feed Their Young 'Blood Milk'.  Not As Terrifying As It Sounds.*

"So why is that one coughing up blood into the other one's mouth?"

"Oh that's just how they feed their young.  No worries, it isn't really blood."

----------


## Bhu

*Dire Ostrich*
                      Large Animal
*Hit Dice:*             6d8+24 (51 hp)
*Initiative:*           +1
*Speed:*                80 ft. (16 squares)
*Armor Class:*          15 (-1 Size, +1 Dex, +5 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 14
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +4/+15
*Attack:*               Kick +10 melee (1d8+7)
*Full Attack:*          1 Kick +10 melee (1d8+7) and 1 Peck +5 melee (1d4+3)
*Space/Reach:*          10 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      -
*Special Qualities:*    Low Light Vision
*Saves:*                Fort +9, Ref +6, Will +3
*Abilities:*            Str 24, Dex 12, Con 18, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 10
*Skills:*                Listen +9, Spot +10
*Feats:*                Endurance, Power Attack, Run
*Environment:*          Warm Plains or Desert
*Organization:*         Solitary, Pair or Herd (5-50)
*Challenge Rating:*    3
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          7-12 HD (Large)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_"Maaaan, ah liked the deer huntin'.  Howcum we gotta be out here huntin' birds again?"_

_"Ah never liked me no birds.  Nossir."_

_"Just ain't no sport in it"_

*"WAAAAAK"*

_"Abner...thet ain't no pigeon..."_


Dire Ostriches are occasionally farmed for food.  Mostly they're avoided as too dangerous though.  One kick does a serious amount of damage.

*Hardy (Ex)*: Ostriches have a +2 Racial bonus on Fortitude checks to avoid dehydration, or to avoid ill effects from exposure to the elements.

*Skills*: Ostriches gain a +8 Racial Bonus to Hide checks when lying still in the tall grasses of their native savanna habitat.  They also have a +4 Racial Bonus to Listen and Spot checks.

*Combat*: Ostriches usually kick their opponents till they stop moving, or flee if they seem too troublesome.





*Giant Ostrich*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom we've apparently gone back to farm animals."

*The Devil's Chickens*
"Aren't the regular versions of these dangerous enough?"

"Oh yes, quite.  That's why we stopped farming them for Rheas.  Couldn't turn the remaining birds loose though.  They might breed in the  wild and take over."

"Compassion and mercy?  From a Wizard?"

"Don't you judge me."

*Unusually Fast*
"So what do you do with the eggs?"

"We have a lot of critters who aren't picky eaters..."

----------


## Bhu

*Dire Rhea*
                      Medium Animal
*Hit Dice:*             3d8+3 (16 hp)
*Initiative:*           +2
*Speed:*                40 ft. (8 squares)
*Armor Class:*          15 (+2 Dex, +3 Natural), touch 12, flat-footed 13
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +2/+5
*Attack:*               Kick +5 melee (1d6+3)
*Full Attack:*          Kick +5 melee (1d6+3)
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      -
*Special Qualities:*    Low Light Vision
*Saves:*                Fort +4, Ref +5, Will +2
*Abilities:*            Str 16, Dex 15, Con 13, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 6
*Skills:*               Listen +4, Spot +4
*Feats:*                Endurance, Run
*Environment:*          Warm Plains
*Organization:*         Solitary, Pair, or Flock (10-100)
*Challenge Rating:*     2
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          4-6 HD (Medium)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_"More birds? Dammit Abner I thought we wuz done with birds after the last fiasco."_

_"They said these birds wuz smaller."_

_"The last birds were almost elephant size dammit!"_

_"You hear a rumblin' sound like a herd of cattle or somethin'?"_

Dire Rheas are smaller than Dire Ostriches, but no less dangerous.  Especially during the breeding season when their flocks break up and scatter...

*Combat*: Rheas fight similar to Ostriches.  Kick and run.



*Giant Rhea*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom we'll be watching a flock of birds launch themselves chest first at Jim's forcewall."

*Aggressive During The Snuggle Season*
"They are quite angry, aren't they?"

"Only during mating season.  The rest of the year, they're fine."

"How do farmhands survive the mating season?"

"They don't, so we stopped farming the Rheas too."

*Not As Fast As Ostriches, For Which We Are Thankful*
"So what do you do with the eggs?"

"The same as the Ostriches."

----------


## Bhu

*Dire Penguin*
                      Gargantuan Animal
*Hit Dice:*             12d8+96 (150 hp)
*Initiative:*           -1
*Speed:*                20 ft. (4 squares), Swim 80 ft.
*Armor Class:*          20 (-4 Size, -1 Dex, +15 natural), touch 5, flat-footed 20
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +9/+33
*Attack:*               Beak +17 melee (2d6+12)
*Full Attack:*          1 Beak +17 melee (2d6+12) and 2 Flipper Slaps +12 melee (1d8+6)
*Space/Reach:*          20 ft./20 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Belly Flop, Improved Grab, Swallow Whole
*Special Qualities:*    Low Light Vision, Hold Breath
*Saves:*                Fort +16, Ref +7, Will +5
*Abilities:*            Str 35, Dex 9, Con 26, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 18
*Skills:*               Listen +8, Spot +9, Swim +20
*Feats:*                Cold Endurance, Endurance, Improved Cold Endurance, Large and in Charge, Swim By Attack
*Environment:*          Cold Aquatic
*Organization:*         Solitary, Pair, Flock (11-30), or Colony (31-100)
*Challenge Rating:*     8
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          13-24 HD (Gargantuan)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_"Screw this Bert.  It's cold, Ah'm hungry, and you didn't tell me we wuz goin' after birds agin.  Ah'm beginnin' to develop a complex bout birds dammit."_

Dire Penguins are simply enormous versions of their more traditional cousins.  They're loud, stinky, and wonderful to watch.  As long as you're far away.  Especially during mating or nesting season.

*Belly Flop (Ex)*: The Dire Penguin can fall on any creature two sizes smaller than itself doing 2d8+24 damage (DC 28 Reflex Save for half Damage, Save DC is Strength Based).  This works like Trample in every way but one: If the opponent fails to make his Saving Throw, he is considered Pinned in a Grapple.  Each round the DP can make a Grapple Check to successfully move him 10 feet, simultaneously doing 1d8+12 damage as it grinds it's opponent into the ground.
*
Improved Grab (Ex):* To use this ability, the Dire Penguin must hit a Large or smaller opponent with its bite attack. It can then attempt to start a grapple as a free action without provoking an attack of opportunity. If it wins the grapple check, it establishes a hold and can try to swallow the foe the following round.

*Swallow Whole (Ex):*  The Dire Penguin can try to swallow a grabbed opponent of Large or smaller size by making a successful grapple check. Once inside, the opponent takes 2d8+8 points of crushing damage plus 2d8+6 points of acid damage per round from the Dire Penguins digestive juices. A swallowed creature can cut its way out by dealing 50 points of damage to the Dire Penguins digestive tract (AC 17). Once the creature exits, muscular action closes the hole; another swallowed opponent must cut its own way out. The Dire Penguins gullet can hold 2 Large, 8 Medium, 32 Small, or 128 Tiny or smaller creatures. 

*Skills*: Dire Penguins have a +8 Racial Bonus to Swim Checks, and may Always Take 10 on a Swim Check.  They may use the Run Action when swimming in a straight line.

*Combat*:  Dire Penguins will bite and slap opponents of similar size.  Against smaller opponents, they fall on them pinning them to the ground before dragging them across the ice.



*Giant Penguin*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom we'll be ..."

*Surprisingly Mean*
"Cat got your tongue Harlan??"

"It's only a Penguin."

"How man of these are there?"

"Just the one, they're too expensive to feed."

*Fun To Watch Though*
"How do you feed all these animals anyway?"

"A very aggressive program of blackmail..."

----------


## Bhu

*Dire Toucan*
                      Medium Animal
*Hit Dice:*             2d8+2 (11 hp)
*Initiative:*           +2
*Speed:*                20 ft. (4 squares), Fly 60 ft. (Average)
*Armor Class:*          14 (+2 Dex, +2 Natural), touch 12, flat-footed 12
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +1/+2
*Attack:*               Beak +3 melee (1d8+2/19-20, x3)
*Full Attack:*          Beak +3 melee (1d8+2/19-20, x3)
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*     Crushing Beak
*Special Qualities:*    Low Light Vision,
*Saves:*                Fort +4, Ref +5, Will +1
*Abilities:*            Str 12, Dex 15, Con 12, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 10
*Skills:*               Intimidate +2, Listen +2, Spot +3
*Feats:*                Weapon Finesse
*Environment:*          Warm Forest
*Organization:*         Solitary, or Pair
*Challenge Rating:*     1
*Treasure:*             Standard
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          3-4 HD (Medium)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_"Bert...I can't help but notice we're in a jungle.  Which means we're hunting birds or bugs or snakes."_

_"It's birds."_

_"DAMMIT BERT, WE AGREED NO MORE BIRDS!"_

_"But the poison critters are okay?"_

_"YES! I MEAN NO! Look you owe me a big one for this!  Everytime we go after birds bad things happen."_

Dire Toucans are slightly more aggressive (and much larger) versions of their smaller relatives.  While they primarily eat fruit they are opportunistic omnivores, so adventurers shouldn't let their guard down.

*Crushing Beak (Ex)*: A Dire Toucans beak criticals on a 19-20 and does x3 damage.

*Combat*: Dire Toucans rarely see the need to fight unless PC's are close to their nest or food sources.  Then it's Beak Time.  Preferably on the back of your head if Intimidation doesn't work.




*Giant Toucans*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom we'll be wishing we'd lost our hearing."

*Opportunistic Omnivores*
"They are quite loud."

"Try not to mention it out loud, they may get bitey."

"I thought they ate fruit?"

"They usually do, but they're quick to take advantage if you aren't paying attention."

*The Beak Helps Regulate Their Body Temperature*
"Wait those aren't bird noses..."

"That must be the Megafauna wing, it's just next door."

----------


## Bhu

*Dire Ankylosaur*
                      Colossal Animal
*Hit Dice:*             45d8+600 (960 hp)  
*Initiative:*           -3
*Speed:*                30 ft. (6 squares)
*Armor Class:*          30 (-8 Size, -3 Dex, +31 Natural), touch 0, flat-footed 30
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +33/+66
*Attack:*               Tail Slap +43 melee (4d6+25/19-20)
*Full Attack:*          Tail Slap +43 melee (4d6+25/19-20)
*Space/Reach:*          30 ft./20 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Trample 8d6+17 (DC 51), Spiny Shell, Tail Slap
*Special Qualities:*    Dark Vision, Low Light Vision, Scent, Thick Armor
*Saves:*                Fort +42, Ref +21, Will +27
*Abilities:*            Str 45, Dex 5, Con 35, Int 2, Wis 10, Cha 10
*Skills:*               Listen +24, Spot +24
*Feats:*                Awesome Blow, Cleave, Devastating Critical (Tail Slap), Diehard, Epic Fortitude, Great Cleave, Great Fortitude, Improved Bull Rush, Improved Critical (Tail Slap), Improved Toughness, Large and in Charge, Overwhelming Critical (Tail Slap), Power Attack, Power Critical (Tail Slap), Steadfast Determination, Weapon Focus (Tail Slap)
*Environment:*          Warm Hills and Plains
*Organization:*         Solitary
*Challenge Rating:*     23
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          46-92 HD (Colossal)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_"The good news is it's not a Tarrasque.  The bad news is it still looks pretty darn mean..."_

Dire Ankylosaurs are pretty rare, and the occasion when two individuals of the opposite sex meet to mate are even rarer.  So the good thing is the world isn't exactly overrun with them.  On the other side they're just too darn stubborn to die.

*Thick Armor (Ex)*: Dire Ankylosaurs are immune to criticals and may not be flanked.  They also gain maximum hit points per hit die.

*Trample (Ex)*: 8d6+17 (DC 51).

*Spiny Shell (Ex)*: The armored shell of the Dire Ankylosaur is covered in bony spikes, and opponents of Gargantuan Size Class or bigger that attack them with an unarmed strike or a natural weapon take 1d6 plus their own Strength Modifier in damage.

*Tail Slap (Ex)*: Any living creature that is not immune to criticals struck by the Dire Ankylosaurs tail must make a DC 51 Fortitude Save (Save DC is Strength based) or be Stunned for 1d3 rounds.

*Combat*: Ankylosaurs immediately wade in with the tail if surprised, otherwise they wait for an opponent to charge and lash out.



*Giant Ankylosaur*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom I begin to question Farmer Johns state of mind."

*Holy Mother off Gawd!*
"Are you sure you're legally allowed to walk around free?"

"Jim, you wound me."

"The Guild will know of this..."

"Shove It Harlan."

*Living Wrecking Ball*
"What is thing for?"

"Proof of concept.  A matter of pride.  _Vengeance._."

----------


## Bhu

*Okapi*
                      Large Animal
*Hit Dice:*             5d8+15 (37 hp)
*Initiative:*           +1
*Speed:*                40 ft. (8 squares)
*Armor Class:*          15 (-1 Size, +1 Dex, +5 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 14
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +3/+14
*Attack:*               Hoof +9 melee (1d8+7)
*Full Attack:*         2 Hooves +9 melee (1d8+7)
*Space/Reach:*          10 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Overrun
*Special Qualities:*    Low Light Vision
*Saves:*                Fort +7, Ref +5, Will +2
*Abilities:*            Str 24, Dex 12, Con 16, Int 2, Wis 13, Cha 6
*Skills:*               Listen +5, Spot +5
*Feats:*               Endurance, Run, Improved Overrun (B)
*Environment:*          Warm Forest
*Organization:*         Solitary
*Challenge Rating:*     2
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          6-7 HD (Large)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_"Okay...seriously Abner what is this thing?"_

*Overrun (Ex)*: When successfully performing an Overrun you also do 1d8+7 damage to the opponent.

*Skills*: Okapi have a +6 Racial Bonus to Hide checks in Jungle settings.

*Combat*: Okapis are shy, and usually hit attackers a round or two with hooves before fleeing (sometimes fleeing through the attackers).



*Okapi*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom, Jim and I witness one of nature's rare wonders."

*Originally A Cryptid!*
"How did you find one of these?"

"Stumbled across a few in the forest, and decided to bring them back for study and preservation."

"Are they really related to Giraffes?"

"As best we can determine yes."

*First Thought To Be A Subspecies of Unicorn*
"You Gargantua'd them didn't you?"

"Of course."



*Dire Okapi*
                      Huge Animal
*Hit Dice:*             12d8+72 (126 hp)
*Initiative:*           +0
*Speed:*                50 ft. (10 squares)
*Armor Class:*          18 (-2 Size, +10 Natural), touch 8, flat-footed 18
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +9/+28
*Attack:*               Hoof +18 melee (2d6+11)
*Full Attack:*          2 Hooves +18 melee (2d6+11)
*Space/Reach:*          15 ft./10 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Trample (2d8+11)
*Special Qualities:*    Low Light Vision
*Saves:*                Fort +14, Ref +8, Will +5
*Abilities:*            Str 32, Dex 10, Con 22, Int 2, Wis 13, Cha 8
*Skills:*               Listen +9, Spot +8
*Feats:*               Endurance, Improved Bull Rush, Improved Overrun, Power Attack, Run
*Environment:*          Warm Forest
*Organization:*         Solitary
*Challenge Rating:*     7
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          13-16 HD (Large); 17-36 HD (Huge)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_"Crap it has an uncle..."_

Dire Okapi are shy forest dwellers who apparently like stomping on anything that spooks them.

*Trample (Ex)*: DC 27 Reflex Save for half damage.

*Skills*: Okapi have a +6 Racial Bonus to Hide checks in Jungle settings.

*Combat*: Dire Okapis are a little tougher mentally than their regular brethren, and willingly stand toe to toe with opponents, usually trying to trample them.



*Giant Okapi*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom, nature is somewhat less wonderful."

*Weren't They Already Good Enough?*
"Why was this necessary?"

"Necessary has nothing to do with it."

"I would have thought farming Wizards would be more...pragmatic..."

"Look, we biggie-size everything.  It's what we do here."

*Very Shy For Their Size*
"Well at least you didn't expand regular Giraffes.  They're more than big enough."

"Funny you should mention that..."

----------


## Bhu

*Dire Giraffe*
                      Huge Animal
*Hit Dice:*             18d8+90 (171 hp)
*Initiative:*           +0
*Speed:*                40 ft. (8 squares)
*Armor Class:*          17 (-2 Size, +9 Natural), touch 8, flat-footed 17
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +13/+31
*Attack:*               Head Butt +21 melee (2d8+10)
*Full Attack:*          1 Head Butt +21 melee (2d8+10) and 2 Stamps +16 melee (2d6+5)
*Space/Reach:*          15 ft./15 ft. 
*Special Attacks:*      Trample (2d8+10), Increased Reach
*Special Qualities:*    Low Light Vision
*Saves:*                Fort +16, Ref +11, Will +7
*Abilities:*            Str 30, Dex 10, Con 20, Int 2, Wis 13, Cha 10
*Skills:*               Listen +13, Spot +14
*Feats:*                Alertness, Awesome Blow, Brutal Strike, Endurance, Improved Bull Rush, Power Attack, Run
*Environment:*          Warm Plains
*Organization:*         Solitary, or Herd (4-12)
*Challenge Rating:*    9
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          19-27 HD (Huge), 28-36 HD (Gargantuan)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_"Bert?"_

_"Yeah Abner?"_

_"What the ____ is that?"_

_"Who cares, it's seen us! Run!_

The Gods alone know where Dire Giraffe's came from.  Some people think of them as proof of a Divine sense of the absurd.  Or that maybe the Creators do illicit substances when no one is looking.  It would certainly explain the existence of other things like Ethereal Filchers.

*Trample (Ex)*: DC 26 Reflex Save for half damage.

*Increased Reach (Ex)*: Due to the length of it's neck and limbs the Giraffe has a range of 15 feet.

*Combat*: Dire Giraffe's are more interested in mating or chewing grass than anything else, but on occasion they get hold of some rotten fruit that's been fermenting into alcohol and decide the small people things would be fun to run over or headbutt.




*Giant Giraffe*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom, we get what we were expecting."

*They Like To Play Golf.  You Are The Ball.*
"Your little friend doesn't appear to like us."

"Oh no, that's normal.  They like to swing their heads at smaller creatures like they were playing golf using their heads as clubs."

"This is normal behavior?"

"It is for Giraffes.  Giraffes are (beep)."

*Marvels of biology*
"When did we get a censor?"

"The Gnomes built one into your Cube of Force, just in case it was needed."

"(beep) Gnomes..."

----------


## Bhu

*Dire Butterfly*
                      Huge Vermin
*Hit Dice:*             15d8+30 (97 hp)
*Initiative:*           +4
*Speed:*                20 ft. (4 squares), Fly 60 ft. (Good)
*Armor Class:*          18 (-2 Size, +4 Dex, +6 Natural), touch 12, flat-footed 14
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +11/+23
*Attack:*               Proboscis +13 (1d8+4)
*Full Attack:*          Proboscis +13 (1d8+4)
*Space/Reach:*          15 ft./10 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      -
*Special Qualities:*    Dark Vision 60 ft., Vermin traits, Scent, Toxic flesh
*Saves:*                Fort +11, Ref +9, Will +7
*Abilities:*            Str 18, Dex 18, Con 14, Int -, Wis 14, Cha 14
*Skills:*               Spot +10, Survival +2 (+10 Tracking or Orientation)
*Feats:*                -
*Environment:*          Temperate Plains or Forests
*Organization:*         Solitary
*Challenge Rating:*     5
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          16-32 HD (Gargantuan)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_"What are we being paid for this Abner?"_

Dire Butterflies are elephant sized.  No one knows how or why they came into existence, but drunkenness and Gawds are mentioned often.  Color and appearance varies, but they tend to suck down a lot of poisonous plants as young un's so biting one is a baaad idea.  They're fairly inoffensive as long as you don't get between them and food.

*Toxic Flesh:* Many of the plants commonly eaten by Dire Butterflies are quite toxic.  Anything attempting to bite or swallow (!) the Dire Butterfly that hits successfully must make a DC 19 Fortitude Save (Save DC is Constitution based) or be poisoned.  Initial and Secondary damage is 1d6 Con.

*Skills:* Dire Butterflies get a +8 Racial Bonus to Spot Checks, and to Survival Checks to track via scent or orient themselves.

*Combat:* Dire Butterflies ten to whack opponents with their proboscis once and then leave if their persistent in fighting back.



*Giant Butterfly*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom, we visit 'The Hall of Miscellaneous Bug Things'."

*Poisonous Due To Their Diet*
"Very scientific of you."

"Hey you two (beeps) can leave anytime..."

"No insult meant.  Surely men of our profession can indulge in some light ribbing?"

"You've been ribbing a little too much lately."

*Caterpillars of Devastation*
"When did we get a censor?"

"Why enlarge these?  You'd also have to enlarge their food sources."

"I had a client who was tired of people killing her beloved butterflies for their collections.  We forgot to consider what the caterpillars would be like..."

----------


## Bhu

*Dire Tardigrade*
                      Fine Magical Beast (Aquatic, Amphibious)
*Hit Dice:*             1/4d10+2 (3 hp)
*Initiative:*           +0
*Speed:*                10 ft. (2 squares), Climb 10 ft., Swim 10 ft.
*Armor Class:*          19 (+8 Size, +1 Natural), touch 18, flat-footed 19
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +1/-19 (+1 when attached)
*Attack:*               Grapple +1 melee touch (attach)
*Full Attack:*          Grapple +1 melee touch (attach)
*Space/Reach:*          1/2 ft./0 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Attach, Stylets
*Special Qualities:*    Blind, Deaf, Blindsense 10 ft., Mindless, Scent, Suspended Animation, Tremorsense 10 ft., Energy Resistance 5 (Acid, Cold, Desiccation and Fire), Hardiness, DR 5/slashing and piercing
*Saves:*                Fort +4, Ref +2, Will +1
*Abilities:*            Str 1, Dex 11, Con 15, Int -, Wis 12, Cha 2
*Skills:*               Climb +3, Swim +3
*Feats:*                ---
*Environment:*          Any 
*Organization:*         Solitary
*Challenge Rating:*     1/2
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          1/2d10 (Diminutive)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

"Jebediah, what the hell are these?"

"Dunno, but I need you and Abner to get rid of 'em.   Thays eatin' mah oozes!"

"What the hell do you have oozes for?"

"...reasons..."

The mighty, mighty Dire Tardigrade is a whole 3 inches long.  

*Attach (Ex):*  If a Tardigrade hits with a touch attack, it uses its many legs to latch onto the opponents body. An attached Tardigrade is effectively grappling its prey. The Tardigrade loses its Dexterity bonus to AC and has an AC of 19, but holds on with great tenacity. Tardigrades have a +20 racial bonus on grapple checks (already figured into the Base Attack/Grapple entry above).

An attached Tardigrade can be struck with a weapon or grappled itself. To remove an attached Tardigrade through grappling, the opponent must achieve a pin against the Tardigrade. 

*Stylets (Ex):* A Tardigrade drains bbodily fluids, dealing 1 point of Constitution damage in any round when it begins its turn attached to a victim. Once it has dealt 2 points of Constitution damage, it detaches and scurries off to digest the meal. If its victim dies before the Tardigrades appetite has been sated, the Tardigrade detaches and seeks a new target.

*Blind (Ex):* Tardigrades are immune to gaze attacks, visual effects, illusions, and other attack forms that rely on sight. 

*Deaf (Ex):* Tardigrades are immune to aural effects, illusions, and other attack forms that rely on hearing. 

*Suspended Animation (Ex):* If a Tardigrade fails a Save against any of the effects listed under Hardiness that would cause it to take lethal damage or ability damage, it instead desiccates itself and goes into suspended animation.  While in this state it is immune to poison, disease, suffocation, pressure, starvation/thirst, extreme temperatures, dehydration and any spell/effect or ability requiring a Fortitude Save.  It's Energy Resistance and DR increase to 10.  It is unaware, and cannot move (it is considered helpless).  Sufficient water will rehydrate the Tardigrade, and restore it in 1d6 rounds.  It may survive in this state for (Con score x2) years.

*Hardiness (Ex):*  Tardigrades have a +4 Racial Bonus to pressure, and cold/warm water (see Stormwrack page 10).  They likewise have a +4 Racial Bonus on Saves against poison and disease.  They have a +4 Racial Bonus on Saves against Altitude Sickness and extreme cold (DMG page 90 and Frostburn page 10), as well as extreme heat, heatstroke and dehydration (see Sandstorm page 12+).  They have a +4 Racial Bonus on Saves against suffocation, thirst and starvation (see DMG).  If using d20 Modern rules, the Tardigrade also gains this +4 Bonus on Saves against Radiation, decompression, and exposure to vacuum (see D20 Future).  A Tardigrade can resist unusual attacks with great fortitude. If it makes a successful Fortitude save against an attack that normally would have a lesser effect on a successful save (such as any spell with a saving throw entry of Fortitude partial), he instead completely negates the effect.

*Skills:* Dire Tardigrades have a +8 Racial Bonus on Climb and Swim Checks, and can always Take 10 on a Climb or Swim Check.

*Combat:* Dire Tardigrades attach themselves to whatever blunders near, feed and leave.  Circumstances permitting, mind you.




*Giant Tardigrade*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom, we...What in the Nine Hells is that?."

*Virtually Immortal*
"Fascinating."

"I'm not really sure what they are, we found a bunch of them in the vats the day after we enlarged the elephants.  They seem resistant to just about everything, and are hardy survivors."

"What do they eat?"

"Plants and oozes mostly.  We had to confine them to stop them from ambushing the Gelatinous Cubes on the cleaning staff."

*Cults Worship Them*
"Have they been any trouble since?"

"Only if you consider some religious nut screaming 'our Messiah has come at last' like a Banshee, and repeatedly bowing before it while asking for it to command him."

"Where is he now?"

"In our dungeon, screaming about the coming of Gozer."

----------


## Bhu

I haven't forgotten thiss thread, I'm just running late.

----------


## Simons Mith

If I may make an observation...

Dire dire dire dire giant giant giant. Some cryptids and legendary animals, and many critter
combos such as octopus bears.

But AFAICS, not one pygmy tarrasque, no dwarf dragons, no mimmoths, no carnivorous
flying mice, no cute and harmless swarms within which one deadly critter can lurk. If it's a
deadly swarm, it's always the whole swarm that's deadly. There's not one instance of that
most dangerous of animals, a clever sheep. Very few plant or mushroom critters, and no
clockwork automata to speak of. You want more things that steal stuff, corrode stone,
drain magic items, attack wood or leather, cause landslides, transmute materials in
undesirable ways...

As a general trend the vast, vast majority of everyday critters are made deadlier by making
them bigger and/or meaner. And most things are deadly because they bite or kick or
whatever, and it's far rarer that they trigger rot or disease, or collapse buildings by
undermining them. Venom, breathing fire, bringing ill luck to spellcasters, accelerating decay,
attracting Hounds of Tindalos from the other edge of reaility, eating the fabric of reality like
a caterpillar eating a leaf, debuffing with subsonic groans or driving people to madness
through a magically enforced lack of sleep, and so forth are hardly represented at all! IJS. :-)

----------


## Metastachydium

> no mimmoths


Heh. Something like the Cretan dwarf mammoth, pygmy elephant or Cyprus dwarf elephant (in their astonishing 1 m tall glory) could be fun.




> no carnivorous flying mice


I'm getting skiurid vibes here.




> corrode stone,


I mean, many oozes do that.




> drain magic items () transmute materials in undesirable ways...


Dunno about that. Folugubs and disenchanters are _not_ super-popular for a reason (even though they look cute).




> Venom,


Common enough.




> breathing fire,


Breath weapons are freakin' everywhere (too few of them deal _sonic_ damage, on the other hand).




> attracting Hounds of Tindalos from the other edge of reaility, eating the fabric of reality like a caterpillar eating a leaf,


Oh, yes please!

(Also: Bhu is really nice and a real pro; if you want something specific, he's known to take requests!)

----------


## Bhu

> If I may make an observation...
> 
> Dire dire dire dire giant giant giant. Some cryptids and legendary animals, and many critter
> combos such as octopus bears.
> 
> But AFAICS, not one pygmy tarrasque, no dwarf dragons, no mimmoths, no carnivorous
> flying mice, no cute and harmless swarms within which one deadly critter can lurk. If it's a
> deadly swarm, it's always the whole swarm that's deadly. There's not one instance of that
> most dangerous of animals, a clever sheep. Very few plant or mushroom critters, and no
> ...


There's more varied stuff common.  I just had a lot of giant critter stuff to revise and it's been a bit of a slog.

Also I'll be doing a horror special for October.

----------


## Bhu

*Dragon Millipede*
                      Gargantuan Vermin
*Hit Dice:*             15d8+45 (112 hp)
*Initiative:*           +2
*Speed:*                40 ft. (8 squares), Climb 40 ft., Burrow 20 ft.
*Armor Class:*          20 (-4 Size, +2 Dex, +12 Natural), touch 8, flat-footed 18
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +11/+31
*Attack:*               Bite +15 melee (2d8+8)
*Full Attack:*          Bite +15 melee (2d8+8)
*Space/Reach:*          20 ft./15 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Spit Cyanide
*Special Qualities:*    Darkvision 60 ft., Vermin traits
*Saves:*                Fort +12, Ref +7, Will +6
*Abilities:*            Str 26, Dex 15, Con 16, Int -, Wis 12, Cha 2
*Skills:*               Climb +16, Spot +5
*Feats:*                -
*Environment:*          Warm Forest
*Organization:*         Solitary
*Challenge Rating:*     8
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          16-32 HD (Gargantuan)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---


_"Yo Mike, there's a huge pink bug critter outside."_

_"Whut's it a'doin'?"_

_"Meltin' the goats faces with it's spit."_

_"I quit."_

Dragon Millipedes are bright pink, spiny millipedes almost 60 ft. long that can spit _hydrogen cyanide_.  Theoretically it's a form of defense against predators according to Sages (Defense? From what, one asks?), but it's also pretty good for bringing down munchable prey.

*Spit Cyanide (Ex)*:  The Dragon Millipede can spit Cyanide once every 1d4 rounds in a 120 ft. Line.  Anything in the area of effect has to make a DC 20 Fortitude Save or be poisoned (Contact, Initial and Secondary damage 2d6 Constitution).

*Skills:* Dragon Millipedes have a +4 Racial Bonus to Spot checks, and a +8 Racial Bonus to Climb Checks.  They may always take 10 on a Climb Check.

*Combat:* Dragon Millipedes open up with spitting cyanide, then move in to bite.  Should this somehow fail they will blast their opponents with cyanide again and flee.



*Dragon Millipede*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom, we continue our tour of...you know I just can't bring myself to say it."

*Pink Is How Nature Says Do Not Touch*
"That is shockingly pink...I'm guessing it's quite toxic?"

"Oh my yes.  There's a reason we keep it well fed and make no sudden moves towards it."

"What does it eat?"

"Anything we've given it really."

*Very Little Lore On This Critter*
"So how toxic is the bite?"

"Not at all.  It expectorates it's venom out to a range of over a hundred feet."

----------


## Bhu

*Giant Banana Slug*
                      Small Vermin
*Hit Dice:*             2d8+2 (11 hp)
*Initiative:*           -2
*Speed:*                15 ft. (3 squares)
*Armor Class:*          11 (+1 Size, -2 Dex, +2 Natural), touch 9, flat-footed 11
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +1/-3
*Attack:*               Wrap +1 melee touch (grapple)
*Full Attack:*          Wrap +1 melee touch (grapple)
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Radula, Slime, Wrap
*Special Qualities:*    Dark Vision 60 ft., Estivation, Weaknesses, Scent
*Saves:*                Fort +4, Ref -2, Will +1
*Abilities:*            Str 10, Dex 7, Con 12, Int -, Wis 12, Cha 2
*Skills:*               -
*Feats:*                -
*Environment:*         Warm or Temperate Forest or Mountains
*Organization:*         Solitary or Pair
*Challenge Rating:*     1
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          3-4 HD (Medium)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_"So let me get this straight.  We're climbin' 50 feet up thet tree, grabbin' slime critters hangin' from the thing, and wrasslin' them into a bag."_

_"Ayuh,"_

_"Screw that.  JOE BOB! Joe Bob, burn thet tree down.  We'll bag them critters when they fall off."_

_"FIRE!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"_

_Yeeeaaah...yeah I'm gonna go on record again and say there's soemthin' wrong with thet boy..."_

These larger versions of the bright yellow molluscs will scavenge and eat just about anything.  Usually little danger to adventurers, they're are most dangerous when they creep up on people in their sleep or drop on them from the tree they were setting in.  And they just skeeve people out really.

*Wrap (Ex)*: If the Banana Slug successfully makes a touch attack it is considered to be grappling it's victim.

*Slime (Ex)*:  Banana Slugs are covered in slime whose consistency they can alter to make sticky or slippery.  While sticky the Slug gains a +8 Racial Bonus to Climb and Grapple Checks.  While slippery it gains a +8 Racial Bonus to Escape Artist and a +2 Deflection Bonus to Armor Class.  Switching between the two states is a Swift Action.

*Radula (Ex)*: When grappling a slug brings it's boring radula to bear, doing 1d6 slashing damage per round.  If it's opponent rolls a natural one on the opposed Grapple Check it also does 1 point of temporary Constitution damage.

*Estivation (Ex)*: During the dry seasons the Banana Slug can hibernate, entering a stat of suspended animation.  It takes a Full Round Action to enter or leave estivation.  While the Slug is in estivation it does not require food or water for at least 5 months, and gains a +2 Racial Bonus on all Fortitude Saves against Starvation or Dehydration afterwards.

*Weaknesses (Ex)*: Slugs are exceptionally vulnerable to dehydration.  They take a -4 Racial Penalty on any spell or effect that causes deydration or water loss.  Throwing a 1/2 pound vial of salt on them does 1d6 damage per round until they wash it off.

*Combat*: Slugs tend to grab hold and proceed to nibblin'.  Lets face it they're slugs, they aren't tactical geniuses.  



*Giant Banana Slug*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom, we get to see Farmer John's...giant banana trees?

*Not Normally Mistaken For Bananas*
"Those aren't bananas Harlan."

"They're fairly interesting critters.  We're very interested in possible industrial uses for it's slime."

"Nature is a strange thing indeed."

"Come now Harlan, surely you've seen worse."

*Would You Believe People Eat These?*
"So are they omnivorous?"

"Quite.  They're extreme detritivores, and we often use them to vacuum up 'accidents'."

----------


## Bhu

*Giant Tarantula*
                      Large Vermin
*Hit Dice:*             6d8+18 (45 hp)
*Initiative:*           +2
*Speed:*                30 ft. (6 squares), Climb 30 ft.
*Armor Class:*          16 (-1 Size, +2 Dex, +5 Natural), touch 11, flat-footed 14
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +4/+12
*Attack:*               Bite +7 melee (2d4+6 plus poison)
*Full Attack:*          Bite +7 melee (2d4+6 plus poison)
*Space/Reach:*         10 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Poison, Urticating Hairs
*Special Qualities:*    Dark Vision 60 ft., Tremorsense 60 ft., Scent
*Saves:*                Fort +8, Ref +4, Will +4
*Abilities:*            Str 18, Dex 15, Con 16, Int -, Wis 14, Cha 2
*Skills:*               Climb +12, Hide +2, Move Silently +6, Spot +12
*Feats:*                Ability Focus (Urticating Hairs)
*Environment:*          Any
*Organization:*         Solitary or Group (2-4)
*Challenge Rating:*     5
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          7-12 HD (Large)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_"Spiders freak me out man."_

_"I uh...I'd avoid turning around..."_

Giant Tarantulas are feared jungle predators, vulnerable to only magical beings or the largest predators. 

*Poison*: Injury, DC 16 Fortitude Save negates, Initial damage is 1d6 Dexterity, Secondary damage is Paralysis for 2d6 rounds.

*Urticating Hairs*: As a Standard Action the Tarantula can turn it's back to the enemy and rub its legs on its abdomen to loosen it's barbed urticating hairs in a 15'x15'x15' cloud towards it's opponents.  Anything in the Area of Effect must make a DC 18 Fortitude Save (Save DC is COnstitution based) or suffer a -2 Circumstance Penalty to all rolls for 1d6 days.  If they fail the Save by 5 or more they are also Blinded for 1d6 minutes.  Urticating hairs stay in the air for 2d4 rounds, and are still active if a wind or some other activity stirs them up off the ground.

*Run (Ex)*: During a Charge, or when fleeing in a straight line, the Tarantula can move up to twice it's normal speed.

*Skills*: Giant Tarantulas have a +8 Racial Bonus to Climb, and Spot Checks, and may always Take 10 on a Climb Check.  They also have a +4 Racial Bonus on Hide and Move Silently Checks.

*Combat*:  Tarantulas are ambush predators, preferring to strike from hiding and letting their venom do the bulk of the work.



*Giant Tarantula*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom, we get to see...Good Gawds, doon't we have enough giant spiders?

*If They Turn Their Back, Run*
"What are all those  frogs for?  Food?"

"No sir.  Those are pets."

"Your spider has pet frogs?"

"Indeed.  It trains them to guard the nest, and warn it if anything is coming."

*When Your Guard Predator Has It's Own Minions*
"Is it petting that frog?"

"Bessie loves her little froggies."

*Froggie Minion*
                      Small Animal
*Hit Dice:*             1d8+1 (5 hp)
*Initiative:*           +2
*Speed:*                20 ft. (4 squares), Climb 10 ft., Swim 20 ft.
*Armor Class:*          13 (+1 Size, +2 Dex), touch 13, flat-footed 12
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +0/-6
*Attack:*               Bite +2 melee (1d3-2)
*Full Attack:*          Bite +2 melee (1d3-2)
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      -
*Special Qualities:*    Amphibious, Lowlight vision
*Saves:*                Fort +3, Ref +4, Will +2
*Abilities:*            Str 7, Dex 14, Con 12, Int 2, Wis 14, Cha 6
*Skills:*               Climb +10, Hide +6, Jump +10, Listen +3, Move Silently +3, Search +1, Spot +3, Swim +10
*Feats:*                Weapon Finesse
*Environment:*          Warm Forest or Marsh
*Organization:*         Solitary or Pack (2-8)
*Challenge Rating:*     1/6
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          2-3 HD (Medium)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

Some Tarantulas have a symbiotic relationships with microhylid frogs.  They protect the frogs from predators, and the frogs guard it's nest from egg stealing insects.

*Skills:* Frogs have a +8 Racial bonus on Climb, Jump and Swim checks. Frogs can always choose to take 10 on a Climb, Jump, or Swim check, even if rushed or threatened.  They may choose to use their Dexterity or Strength Bonus for Climb, Jump and Swim Checks.  They also have a +4 Racial Bonus on Search Checks.

*Combat:*  Froggies generally rely on their massive neighbor, but they will fight if cornered.

----------


## Simons Mith

[simulpost]

Oh good, you're already thinking on these lines. Dire and giant animals are kind of obvious,
so churning them out must be a chore. I know GMs lap them up though :-)

Couple of points I'd like to expand on:

_disenchanting_ I would agree that when disenchanting shows up in combat it's a pain.
However I was also thinking about magical analogs to termites, and nuisance animals that
might for example be attracted to magic.

_breath weapons_ Just as oozes tend to be the corrosion specialists, it's a relatively
predictable pool of critters that get breath weapons. And of course, the game terms are
'breath' and 'weapon' which work very well to distract from, ahem, the many other possible
forms of emission, and their non-weapon applications, as well as applications over
timescales of hours, days, centuries. 

_venom_ It seems to me that only critter variants that would be expected to have venom
tend to get venom. This is a different way to make a critter dangerous rather than making
them bigger. I also like seeing cases where animals become more dangerous because they're
cleverer or stupider, trained, diseased, cursed, ridiculously fecund, or even friendlier. Gigantic
plus friendly can be hard to handle, for example. It always amuses me to take anything to such
an extreme that it starts becoming a problem.

----------


## Bhu

*Leech, Biggie Sized*
                      Tiny Vermin (Aquatic)
*Hit Dice:*             1d8+1 (5 hp)
*Initiative:*           -1
*Speed:*                10 ft. (2 squares), Climb 10 ft., Swim 15 ft.
*Armor Class:*          12 (+2 Size, -1 Dex, +1 Natural), touch 11, flat-footed 12
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +0/-10 (+2 when Attached)
*Attack:*               Attach -1 melee (Attach)
*Full Attack:*          Attach -1 melee (Attach)
*Space/Reach:*          2 1/2 ft./0 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Attach, Anesthetic Bite, Blood Drain, Disease
*Special Qualities:*    Blind, Amphibious, Tremorsense 30'
*Saves:*                Fort +3, Ref -1, Will +1
*Abilities:*            Str 6, Dex 8, Con 12, Int -, Wis 12, Cha 1
*Skills:*               Hide +15, Swim +6
*Feats:*                Weapon Finesse (B)
*Environment:*          Warm Aquatic, Marsh, or Forest
*Organization:*         Solitary
*Challenge Rating:*   1/2
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          2 HD (Small)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_"Bert...this job sucked before the Leeches...now Ah just have a powerful need to do bad things..."_

Giant Leeches are the best for ruining an adventurers day.  Especially if they're sleeping.  Hehehehehehe...

*Attach (Ex):* A Leech can Attach itself with a successful Melee Touch Attack, effectively Grappling it's opponent.  While Attached it loses it's Dexterity Bonus to AC (not that it has one), but gains a +12 Racial Bonus to Grappling Checks.  It can be attacked with a weapon, or removed if it's opponent can successfully Pin it in a Grapple.

*Anesthetic Bite (Ex):* If potential victims do not make a successful Spot vs Hide Check, they do not notice the Leech make an Attach attempt.  They may make another Spot vs Hide Check each round with a cumulative +2 Bonus to notice the Leech has attached itself.

*Blood Drain (Ex):* Leeches do 1d4 temporary Constitution damage each round they remain attached, falling off when they've eaten at least 4 Con.

*Disease (Ex)*: Any opponent the Leech successfully Attaches itself to must make a DC 13 (Save DC is Con based with a +2 Racial Bonus) or be infected with Red Ache (see page 292 of the DMG).

*Blind (Ex):* Leeches are Blind, and therefore immune to any attack or effect relying on sight.

*Skills:* Leeches get a +8 Racial Bonus on Hide and Swim Checks, and may always Take 10 on a Swim Check.

*Combat:* Leeches hide in ambush, and make an Attach attempt whether their opponent notices them or not.  



*Giant Leech*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom, we get to see Farmer John violating another rule: Never use leeches as minions."

*Their Bite Has A Numbing Agent*
"Weren't the piranha and shrews bad enough?"

"Relax, they're tame.  They realize humanoids give them food."

"I think you're vastly overestimating the intellectual capacity of invertebrates."

"Surely recognizing the people who feed you doesn't require much."

*A Sleeping Murderhobo's Worst Nightmare*
"Wait, what do you feed them?"

"Er...that's classified."

----------


## Bhu

> [simulpost]
> 
> Oh good, you're already thinking on these lines. Dire and giant animals are kind of obvious,
> so churning them out must be a chore. I know GMs lap them up though :-)
> 
> Couple of points I'd like to expand on:
> 
> _disenchanting_ I would agree that when disenchanting shows up in combat it's a pain.
> However I was also thinking about magical analogs to termites, and nuisance animals that
> ...


I was gonna switch to D&D cryptids next week (not 'real' cryptids, ones within the D&D universe) before going over to spooky critters in october.  Let me think on what I can add.

----------


## Bhu

*Exploding Ant*: Stats for these ant are the same as normal giant ants from the Monster Manual with the following addition:

*Explosive Defense (Ex):* When successfully attacked, or during a Grapple the Exploding Ant can sacrifice it's own life as a Swift Action, spraying itself and everything within adjacent squares with a sticky, caustic chemical goo.  This has several effects:

First, the Exploding Ant is fused to it's opponent.  Until the adhesive is removed via alchemical process, the victim is encumbered by the weight of the ant corpse.  It can make a Str Check to remove the Ant on the same or next round before the adhesive hardens. DC is 10 plus 1/2 the Ant's Hit Dice plus it's Con Modifier with a +4 Racial Modifier.

Second, the chemical is a severe irritant, causing a -2 penalty on attack rolls, saves, ability checks, and skill checks for 24 hours.

Third, anything within the area of effect takes 1d6 acid damage for 1d6 rounds (Reflex Save for half, DC is 10 plus 1/2 Hit Dice plus Con modifier).



*Giant Exploding Ant*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom, we get to see Farmer John's ant farm."

*Yes, This Is Really A Thing*
"Ant's too?  You like living dangerously don't you?"

"Relax, they're more capable of recognizing their food source than the leeches."

"Wait, something looks odd about these ants..."

"They are unusually loyal."

*Self Sacrificing*
"What aren't you telling us?"

*BOOOM!*

"Why Jim, whatever do you mean?"

----------


## Bhu

*Dire Poison Arrow Frog*
                      Small Animal
*Hit Dice:*             1d8 (4 hp)
*Initiative:*           +3
*Speed:*                30 ft. (6 squares), Climb 20 ft.
*Armor Class:*          14 (+1 Size, +3 Dex), touch 14, flat-footed 11
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +0/-6
*Attack:*               Bite +3 melee (1d3-2)
*Full Attack:*          Bite +3 melee (1d3-2)
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Toxic Skin
*Special Qualities:*    Low Light Vision
*Saves:*                Fort +2, Ref +5, Will +1
*Abilities:*            Str 7, Dex 17, Con 10, Int 1, Wis 12, Cha 2
*Skills:*               Climb +11, Jump +11, Listen +3, Spot +3, Swim +9
*Feats:*                Weapon Finesse
*Environment:*          Warm Forest
*Organization:*         Solitary, Pair, or Group (3-5)
*Challenge Rating:*     1
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          -
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_"BURT!! DON'T TOUCH THAT FROG!!"_

Dire Poison Arrow Frogs are about the size of baboons.  

*Toxic Skin (Ex):* The toxins in the Dire Poison Arrow Frogs skin are incredibly poisonous.  Anything touching it with bare skin, grappling, or attacking with an unarmed strike or natural weapon risks being poisoned (Contact, Fortitude Save DC 16, Initial and Secondary Damage 3d6 Constitution).  Save DC is Con based, the Frog has a +6 Racial Bonus to the Save DC.  Anything stupid enough to swallow one whole must make a DC 16 Fortitude Save (Save DC is Con based, the Frog has a +6 Racial Bonus to the Save DC) or violently retch it back up next round taking 1d6 damage in the process.]

*Skills:* Dire Poison Arrow Frogs have a +8 Racial Bonus on Climb, Jump, and Swim checks.  They may always take 10 on a climb or swim check even if rushed or endangered.  They may use their Dexterity or Strength Bonus for Climb and Jump checks, whichever is better.

*Combat:* Dire Poison Arrow Frogs rarely initiate combat.  They rely on their markings to warn predators of their nature.




*Giant Poison Arrow Frog*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom, we finally leave behind the arthropods."

*Bright Colors Are Bad*
"You, uh...you know how dangerous these things are right?"

"We do, but they're only toxic in nature, not captivity.  We think it's something they eat."

"So you aren't raising them as poison factories?"

"I can neither confirm , nor deny that."

*Toxic To An Extreme*
"So what is it hey eat that makes them toxic?"

"Don't know.  Honestly speaking, we've never seen them eat..."

----------


## Bhu

*Dire Spitting Cobra*
                      Huge Animal
*Hit Dice:*             9d8+45 (85 hp)
*Initiative:*           +6
*Speed:*                30 ft. (6 squares), Climb 30 ft., Swim 30 ft.
*Armor Class:*          18 (-2 Size, +2 Dex, +8 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 16
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +6/+21
*Attack:*               Bite +11 melee (1d8+10 plus poison) or Spit +6 ranged touch (Blindness)
*Full Attack:*          Bite +11 melee (1d8+10 plus poison) or Spit +6 ranged touch (Blindness)
*Space/Reach:*          15 ft./10 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Spit Venom, Poison
*Special Qualities:*    Low Light Vision, Scent
*Saves:*                Fort +11, Ref +10, Will +5
*Abilities:*            Str 24, Dex 15, Con 20, Int 2, Wis 14, Cha 2
*Skills:*               Balance +12, Climb +17, Hide +2, Listen +8, Spot +8, Swim +15
*Feats:*                Ability Focus (Poison, Spit Venom), Improved Initiative, Lightning Reflexes
*Environment:*          Warm Forest or Underground
*Organization:*         Solitary
*Challenge Rating:*    7
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          10-18 HD (Huge), 19-36 HD (Gargantuan)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---


_"Honey!! Honey git the wand!  Them snakes is back a' spittin' on the cows agin!"_

Dire Spitting Cobras are an unfortunate problem in jungles about the world.  Their ability to permanently blind opponents with their venom makes them much worse opponents than the average giant snake.

*Spit Venom (Ex)*: If the Dire Spitting Cobra can hit with a ranged touch attack, it's opponent must make a DC 21 Fortitude Save or be permanently blinded.  If the Cobra succeeds in making a critical hit some of the venom seeps into the victims bloodstream (Contact, Fortitude Save DC 21, Initial and Secondary damage 1d6 Constitution).  Range is 30 feet.

*Poison (Ex)*: Injury, Fortitude Save DC 21, Initial and Secondary Damage 2d6 Constitution.  Save DC is Constitution based.

*Skills*: Dire Spitting Cobras have a +4 Racial Bonus to Hide, Listen and Spot checks, and a +8 Racial Bonus to Balance, Climb and Swim checks.  They may always take 10 on a Climb or Swim check, and may use the Run action while swimming in a straight line.  They may use their Dexterity or Strength Modifier for Climb checks, whichever is better.

*Combat*: Dire Spitting Cobras usually blind opponents with venom before moving in for the bite.  Usually the poison is enough to finish off most opponents.



*Giant Spitting Cobra*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom, we're betting Jim thanks the Gawds for that cube of force."

*They Spit Defensively*
"Indeed I do Harlan."

"After all I've seen on you program, I'm amazed you two are such worry-warts."

"Maybe we've had enough things go wrong to keep certain possibilities within mind..."

"It's just a cobra!"

*The Spit Is Usually Only Bad If It Hits The Face*
"It's a giant cobra with range capable venom."

"You act like it's killed more than seven people..."

"That was distressingly specific..."

----------


## Bhu

*Dire Komodo Dragon*
                      Large Animal
*Hit Dice:*             6d8+24 (51 hp)
*Initiative:*           +5
*Speed:*                30 ft. (6 squares)
*Armor Class:*          17 (-1 Size, +1 Dex, +7 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 16
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +4/+14
*Attack:*               Bite +9 melee (2d6+6 plus poison) or Tail Slap +9 melee (2d6+6 plus trip)
*Full Attack:*          Bite +9 melee (2d6+6 plus poison) or Tail Slap +9 melee (2d6+6 plus trip)
*Space/Reach:*          10 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Poison, Tail Sweep
*Special Qualities:*    Enhanced Scent, Running Spurt, Low Metabolism, Disease Resistant
*Saves:*                Fort +9, Ref +6, Will +3
*Abilities:*            Str 23, Dex 12, Con 18, Int 1, Wis 12, Cha 2
*Skills:*               Hide +1, Listen +1, Move Silently +6, Spot +1
*Feats:*                Ability Focus (Poison), improved Initiative, Run
*Environment:*          Warm Forest
*Organization:*         Solitary, Pair, or Cluster (3-6)
*Challenge Rating:*    5
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          7-12 HD (Large), 13-24 HD (Huge) 
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_"LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRR  RRRRDSSSSSSSS!"_

Dire Komodos are larger, meaner versions of their regular cousins.

*Poison (Ex)*: Injury, DC 19 Fort Save, Initial Damage is 1d4 Strength and opponent continues to lose 1 hp per round until the victim takes 1 hp of magical healing or a DC 15 heal Check is made due to continual blood loss.  Secondary damage is 2d4 Strength.

*Tail Sweep (Ex)*: If the Dire Komodo successfully hits with it's Tail Slap, it may immediately make a Trip Attempt as a Free Action without provoking an Attack of Opportunity.  If it fails it's opponent does not get a Trip attack in return.

*Enhanced Scent (Ex)*: This works like the regular Scent ability, except that it can smell blood/carrion up to 2 miles away.

*Running Spurt (Ex)*: The Komodo can increase it's base land speed by +30 feet for 1 round per point of Constitution modifier.  Once used it must rest for 1 hour before it can use the Running Spurt again.

*Low Metabolism (Ex)*: Dire Komodos can go up to a month without food before needing to make Fortitude checks against starvation.

*Disease Resistant (Ex):* Dire Komodos gain a +2 Resistance Bonus on Fortitude Saves against disease.

*Combat*: Komodos usually attack by ambush, and then let the prey run, confident it will bleed out, and that it's Improved Scent will let it track the animal to it's location of demise.  Stubborn foes are bitten relentlessly.



*Giant Spitting Cobra*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom, we see the last of Farmer John's few reptiles."

*Their Venom Prevents Clotting*
"I'm surprised youdon't have more."

"I am not by nature, a herpetologist."

"That would explain you're having these things."

"We have them because their venom may have medicinal value."

*They Can Reproduce By Cloning*
"Medicinal Value?."

"Yes, it's an excellent sleeping aid for my enemies..."

----------


## Bhu

Work sort of imploded, so I'm running too far behind to post today.  Will have it up as soon as I can.

----------


## Bhu

*Dire Monkey*
                      Medium Animal
*Hit Dice:*             3d8+6 (19 hp)
*Initiative:*           +2
*Speed:*                40 ft. (8 squares), Climb 40 ft.
*Armor Class:*          14 (+2 Dex, +2 Natural), touch 12, flat-footed 12
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +2/+4
*Attack:*               Bite +4 melee (1d6+2) or Poop +4 ranged (see below) or Branch +4 ranged (1d6)
*Full Attack:*          1 Bite +4 melee (1d6+2) and 2 Slams -1 melee (1d3+1) or Poop +4 ranged (see below) or Branch +4 ranged (1d6)
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      We Fling Our Own, Hooting Frenzy
*Special Qualities:*    Low Light Vision
*Saves:*                Fort +5, Ref +5, Will +2
*Abilities:*            Str 14, Dex 15, Con 14, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 7
*Skills:*               Balance +10, Climb +11, Hide +3, Listen +3, Spot +3
*Feats:*               Point Blank Shot, Weapon Finesse, Brachiation (B)
*Environment:*          Warm Forests
*Organization:*         Solitary, Pair, Troupe (10-40)
*Challenge Rating:*     2
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Usually Neutral
*Advancement:*          4-6 HD (Large)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---


_"Bert...tell me that ain't poop that just hit the back o' mah head..."_

Dire Monkeys are man sized monkeys, with all the prerequisite monkey nastiness you see in zoos multiplied tenfold.  

*We Fling Our Own:* As a Full Round action a Dire Monkey can poop in it's hand and fling it at an opponent. Considering the grubs, dead things, and god knows what other foulness they eat, this is an excellent defense.  Dire Monkey poop is widely considered to be one of  the most foul substances in the known world, and no one wants it on them. Anyone hit by it must make a DC 13 Fortitude Save or be Nauseated for 2 rounds (along with screaming" What, Oh Lord, have I done to deserve this??").  Save DC is Constitution based.  In addition, if it isn't washed of within 5 minutes, the smell will remain for 1d6 days giving creatures tracking you by scent a +4 circumstance bonus to their rolls.

*Hooting Frenzy:* When on the attack Dire Monkeys go totally insane, flinging leaves, dirt, twigs, and god knows what else.  They constantly hop around screaming, waving their arms, urinating freely on opponents.  Which is a nice way of saying they're one hell of a distraction.  If a Dire Monkey is in at least 2 adjoining spaces an opponent must make a DC 11 Willpower Save or be Shaken for the remainder of the encounter.  Save DC is Charisma Based, with a +2 Racial Bonus.

*Skills:* Dire Monkeys have a +8 Racial Bonus to Balance and Climb Checks.  They may always take 10 on a Climb Check.  They may use their Strength or Dexterity Modifier for Climb checks, whichever is better.

*Combat:* Dire Monkeys usually fling poop, or branches if that doesn't drive someone off.  If the opponent still persists they go into a frenzy and charge en masse in an attempt to scare opponents off or beat them senseless otherwise.



*Giant Monkeys*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom we've apparently joined some sort of nightmarish circus."

*See No Evil My Fanny*
"Monkeys? Really?"

"I'd take offense, but after dealing with them the last year I agree."

"What are the umbrellas for?"

"They fling their own."

*Not Meant To Be Pets*

"I know I keep saying it, but never have I been happier to have a forcewall."

"Trust me you'll need it.  They're sneaky.  Even the giant bugs leave them alone.."

----------


## Bhu

*Dire Armadillo*
                      Gargantuan Animal
*Hit Dice:*             36d8+324 (486 hp)
*Initiative:*           -1
*Speed:*                40 ft. (8 squares), Burrow 30 ft.
*Armor Class:*          35 (-4 Size, -1 Dex, +30 Natural), touch 5, flat-footed 35
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +27/+41
*Attack:*               Claw +36 melee (4d6+12/19-20)
*Full Attack:*          2 Claws +36 melee (4d6+12/19-20)
*Space/Reach:*          20 ft./15 ft. 
*Special Attacks:*     Sticky Tongue
*Special Qualities:*   Scent, Low Light Vision, Rollup, Damage Reduction 10/-
*Saves:*                Fort +34, Ref +19, Will +14
*Abilities:*            Str 35, Dex 8, Con 26, Int 2, Wis 14, Cha 12
*Skills:*               Climb +20, Listen +10, Search +5, Spot +10, Survival +9
*Feats:*                Awesome Blow, Cleave, Devastating Critical (Claws), Epic Fortitude, Great Cleave, Great Fortitude, Improved Bull Rush, Improved Critical (Claws), Improved Toughness, Overwhelming Critical (Claws), Power Attack, Power Critical, Weapon Focus (Claws)
*Environment:*          Warm Forests
*Organization:*         Solitary, Pair
*Challenge Rating:*    20
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          37-54 HD (Gargantuan), 55-72 HD (Colossal)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_ "Bob...Bob that's not a hill..."_

Dire Armadillos are armored tanks the size of small houses that feed on giant ants.  They pretty much ignore everything else, but they are skittish, and spooking them isn't wise.  They let out a sound like steam escaping and pound everything in the area to dust if frightened.

*Sticky Tongue (Ex):* This is a Melee Touch Attack with a Range of 15 feet.  If used on an opponent at least 3 Size classes smaller than the Armadillo (and it hits successfully) the Armadillo immediately gets a Grapple Check as a Free Action without provoking an Attack of Opportunity.  If successful, it may reel that opponent in the next round, and Swallow him the round after if the Grapple is maintained.

*Swallow Whole (Ex):* The Dire Armadillo may Swallow any creature 3 sizes smaller than itself with a successful Grapple check.  The Swallowed Creature takes 3d6+12 points of bludgeoning damage and 12 points of acid damage each round it is inside the Dire Armadillo's stomach.  A swallowed creature may cut it's way out by doing 35 points of damage to the stomach (AC 25) with a light slashing or piercing weapon.  Once it exits muscular action closes the hole, and other swallowed opponents must cut their own way out.

*Rollup (Ex):* As a standard action a Dire Armadillo can rollup.  It is immobile in this form and can take no action, but it gains a +5 Circumstance Bonus to AC and Fortitude Saves.  In addition it is immune to Swarm damage in this form, and it may substitute it's Fortitude Save for it's Reflex Save when attacked by Area of Effect spells, abilities, or effects.

*Combat:* Dire Armadillo's are more interested in food than fighting, but they spook easily.  Anything surprising them provokes an assault, as well as anything stupid enough to run at it with a sword (and you'd be surprised how many people do it).  



*Giant Armadillo*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom we'll be looking at brute excess."

*Surprisingly Strong Sense of Smell*
"What was the idea behind this?"

"To take care of the ant problem."

"Didn't you make the Echidnas for that?"

"Well...yes.  But the ant problem got 'bigger' than they could deal with"

*Very Playful For Armored Tanks*

"How big?"

"Well, he hasn't run out of food..."

----------


## Bhu

*Dire Tamandua*
                      Medium Animal
*Hit Dice:*             4d8+12 (30 hp)
*Initiative:*           +0
*Speed:*                20 ft. (4 squares), Climb 20 ft.
*Armor Class:*          14 (+4 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 14
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +3/+7
*Attack:*               Claw +7 melee (2d4+4)
*Full Attack:*          2 Claws +7 melee (2d4+4)
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Musk
*Special Qualities:*    Low Light Vision, Scent
*Saves:*                Fort +7, Ref +4, Will +2
*Abilities:*            Str 18, Dex 10, Con 16, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 6
*Skills:*               Climb +12, Listen +2, Search +5
*Feats:*                Blind-Fight, Skill Focus (Search)
*Environment:*          Warm Forest
*Organization:*         Solitary
*Challenge Rating:*     3
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          5-8 HD (Medium)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_"Uuuh...Burt...there's a uh...there's a weird critter thingie in the tree starin' at us.."_

Dire Tamandua's are large tree climbing anteaters.  Fairly inoffensive, their claws are still quite nasty if they are frightened.  If pressed they spray a foul smelling musk they use to mark territory that is said to be 4 times as powerful as a skunks.

*Musk (Ex):* Once per round and no more than three times per day, a Dire Tamandua can emit a horrific smell to a range of a 160 feet radius from itself. A creature in the area must make a successful Fortitude save (DC 17) or be nauseated for 1d4 rounds. The save DC is Constitution-based and includes a +2 racial bonus. A delay poison or neutralize poison spell removes the effects from a nauseated creature.

Creatures with immunity to poison are unaffected by the nauseating effects of Tamandua musk. Additionally, the target suffers a -10 circumstance penalty to Hide checks while wearing clothes or armor contaminated with Tamandua musk. The creature also suffers a -4 circumstance penalty to all Charisma-based skill checks while wearing contaminated clothes or carrying contaminated gear.

Flesh, leather goods, metal goods (weapons, armor, and the like) must be washed in a concentrated mixture of vinegar over a period of three days in order to fully remove the stench of Tamandua musk. The prestidigitation spell cannot clean items stained by Tamandua musk.  Tamandua's are immune to Tamandua musk.

*Skills:* Tamandua have a +8 Racial Bonus to Climb Checks, and may always Take 10 on a Climb check.

*Combat:* Dire Tamandua's tend to flail at opponents with their claws in the hopes they will run away.  They're too slow to run away themselves.



*Giant Tamandua*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom we'll be watching the total disintegration of a local industry."

*Even Skunks Don't Compare*
"What are those critters over there for?"

"They were our answer to the ant problem befoe the Echidnas.."

"Sweet Jebus, what is that smell?"

"The reason we switched to Echidnas."

*That Pose Doesn't Mean It Wants a Hug*

"They spray like skunks, and you didn't know this before hand?"

"In my defense they were too busy brutally murdering people to demonstrate their musk."

----------


## Bhu

*Dire Rust Monster*
                      Huge Aberration
*Hit Dice:*             42d8+336 (525  hp)
*Initiative:*           +5
*Speed:*                40 ft. (8 squares)
*Armor Class:*          30 (-2 Size, +1 Dex, +21 Natural), touch 9, flat-footed 29
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +31/+49
*Attack:*               Antennae +30 melee touch (see below) or Bite +39 melee (2d6+10)
*Full Attack:*          Antennae +30 melee touch (see below) or Bite +39 melee (2d6+10)
*Space/Reach:*          15 ft./10 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Antennae, Trample (4d12+10)
*Special Qualities:*    Dark Vision 120 ft., Scent, DR 10/-, SR 28
*Saves:*                Fort +27, Ref +15, Will +24
*Abilities:*            Str 30, Dex 13, Con 24, Int 2, Wis 13, Cha 15
*Skills:*               Listen +25, Spot +26
*Feats:*                Ability Focus (Antennae, Trample), Alertness, Awesome Blow, Blind-Fight, Combat Reflexes, Defensive Sweep, Epic Fortitude, Great Fortitude, Improved Bull Rush, Improved Initiative, Improved Toughness, Large and In Charge, Power Attack, Track 
*Environment:*          Any
*Organization:*         Solitary
*Challenge Rating:*     17
*Treasure:*             Standard
*Alignment:*            Usually Neutral 
*Advancement:*          43-63 HD (Gargantuan), 86 HD (Colossal)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_"Ah'm sorry Bert I couldn't hear you over the sound of me poopin' mahself...could you repeat that last part?"_

It's uncertain if Dire Rust Monsters are naturally occurring mutations or magical in nature.  it is well known that their occasional appearance leads to the brutal assassination of anyone nearby who could potentially have summoned or created one (i.e. anyone with connections to Aberrations or magic, regardless if they'd have the necessary power).

*Antennae (Su)*:  If a Dire Rust Monster successfully makes a touch attack with it's antennae it instantly destroys and corrodes a 30 foot cube of metal.  Magic items made of metal get a DC 40 Reflex Save to avoid destruction (Save DC is Constitution based).  Any metal objects that touch the Rust Monster also dissolve immediately.  Also, most life has some traces of metal within it.  Corporeal beings struck by the Antennae must make a DC 40 Fortitude Save (Save DC is Constitution based) or take 1d4 temporary Strength damage and be Dazed 1 round.

*Trample (Ex)*: DC 43 Reflex Save for half damage (Save DC is Strength based).

*Combat*: Dire Rust Monsters usually open up with their Antennae, then Trample and proceed to munch.



*Giant Rust Monster*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom we're taking our leave of Farmer Johns establishment."

*Highly Illegal*
"No offense, but you've had a series of disasters just in the time we were here."

"The two of you are such worry warts."

*"SQUEE!"*

"What in the Nine Hells was that?"

"Nothing...just a little side venture...I believe you were leaving."

*"SQUEE!"*

"Sweet Jebus,  you didn't...

"John...this is highly unusual...even the Guild of Evil Minions will want to see you hang for this."

"Mind your business Harlan."


*Every Adventurers Worst Nightmare*

*CRASH!*

"Farmer John, by the power invested in us by the local magistrate, you are now under arrest by the Order of Wood!"

*"SQUEE!"*

"Squeaky?  Oh my Gawds, Squeaky what have they done to you?  You Kaiju'd our little baby!  YOU WILL FACE OUR WOODY VENGEANCE VILLAINS!"

"Harlan, do you still have that teleport spell on contingency?"

"Funny you should ask..."

----------


## Bhu

*Devilfish*
                      Large Magical Beast (Aquatic)
*Hit Dice:*             8d10+24 (68 hp)
*Initiative:*           +5
*Speed:*                Swim 30 ft. (6 squares)
*Armor Class:*          18 (-1 Size, +1 Dex, +8 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 17
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +8/+17
*Attack:*               Envelop +12 Melee Touch (Grapple)
*Full Attack:*          Envelop +12 Melee Touch (Grapple)
*Space/Reach:*          10 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Envelop
*Special Qualities:*    Low Light Vision, Blindsight 60 ft.
*Saves:*                Fort +9, Ref +7, Will +4
*Abilities:*            Str 20, Dex 12, Con 16, Int 5, Wis 14, Cha 12
*Skills:*               Hide +0 (+8 in dimly lit waters), Listen +7, Spot +7, Swim +13
*Feats:*                Ability Focus (Envelop), Improved Initiative, Skill Focus (Hide) 
*Environment:*          Warm Aquatic
*Organization:*         Solitary or Horde (12-60)
*Challenge Rating:*    6
*Treasure:*             None 
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          9-12 HD (Large), 13-16 HD (Huge)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_"We cannot dive in these waters.  They are haunted by Devilfish."_

The harmless Manta Ray has long been the subject of myths, supposedly in league with Hell and drowning or suffocating divers.  These folk tales have been proven wrong, but there are some truths to them.  There is another species of giant ray in warm waters.  It is a huge, black, rubbery thing and explanations for it's origin vary heavily (and none of them have any backing evidence).  Unlike regular Rays it  feeds on large prey.  Devilfish appear to be able to somewhat alter the consistency of their flesh, being as malleable as some octopi.  They silently stalk prey before pouncing, rapidly unfolding heir body like a large net and enveloping their prey.  Unable to eat prey due to only having vestigial teeth they simply drain he life from them.  This ability leads scholars to believe they may have been magically influenced instead of having evolved the trait naturally, but there are no records of them being uses as any sort of guard creature or Mages claiming responsibility for them.

*Envelop (Su)*: The Devilfish does not provoke an Attack of Opportunity when making a Grapple attempt.  If it's opponent fails a DC 17 Willpower Save (Save DC is Charisma based), he gains 1 Negative Level in addition to regular Grapple Effects.

*Skills*: Devilfish get a +8 Racial Bonus to Swim Checks, and can always Take 10 n a Swim Check,  They can use the Rn Action while swimming in a straight line.  They get a +8 Racial Bonus to Hide Checks in dimly lit areas.

*Combat*: Devilfish typically hunt at dusk or night when their Blindsight lets them see victims who cannot see them.  They tend to go directly for the Grapple, but will leave if an opponent can consistently break it's grip.



*Devilfish*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom, Jim and I begin a new mini series on Cryptozoology!"

*Not Actually A Denizen of Hell*
"Harlan, _no._  This is bull, and you know it."

"But Jim, it's for the cause of knowledge."

"You know as well as I do this is a spurious ploy for ratings.  These cryptids never pan out.  THey're never a heretofore undiscovered species.  It's always a Gawd, or a spell caster, or magic gone bad.  Hell, sometimes it's just plain old fraud."

"Look it'll be an easy job, and we need a vacation after that farm.  Looking for monsters that may or may not exist is better than dealing with madmen who create them."

*Still Not Advisable To Hug Them Though*

"Fair enough.  What's up first?"

"A shapeshifting fish from Hell that drains the life from people."

"Lovely..."

----------


## Bhu

*The Mother Of All Hummingbirds*
Medium Magical Beast
*Hit Dice:* 12d10+60 (126 hp)
*Initiative:* +9
*Speed:* 5 ft. (1 square), Fly 240 ft. (Perfect)
*Armor Class:* 20 (+5 Dex, +5 Deflection), touch 20, flat-footed 15
*Base Attack/Grapple:* +12/+12
*Attack:* Peck +17 melee (1d6)
*Full Attack:* Peck +17 melee (1d6)
*Space/Reach:* 5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:* -
*Special Qualities:* Darkvision 60 ft., Hurricane Flight, Evasion, Improved Evasion, Uncanny Dodge, Improved Uncanny Dodge
*Saves:* Fort +13, Ref +15, Will +7
*Abilities:* Str 11, Dex 21, Con 20, Int 10, Wis 16, Cha 20
*Skills:* Hide +10, Knowledge (Arcana, Nature) +5, Listen +8, Sense Motive +8, Spot +8
*Feats:* Adroit Fly-By Attack (see Draconomicon), Fly-By Attack, Improved Initiative, Lightning Reflexes, Weapon Finesse, Wingover (B)
*Environment:* Any (only appears when summoned or on business)
*Organization:* Unique
*Challenge Rating:* 8
*Treasure:* None
*Alignment:* Neutral
*Advancement:* 13+ HD
*Level Adjustment:* ---

_"What the hell is that humming sound?"_

The Mother of All Hummingbirds is a rather large rainbow colored hummingbird that is rarely seen unless summoned magically, or seeking vengeance on those who harm her kin. Her purpose and desires are otherwise unknown. She is, however, quite destructive, though she doesn't seem to intend to cause harm. The winds stirred up by her flight can destroy small villages. But people like her cause she's so pwetty.  Darn weird them people.  Despite being almost 6 ft. long the MoaH is only 80 pounds.  While she cannot speak she does understand Common, Elven, Auran, and Sylvan.  Note that she can be summoned via Summon Nature's Ally VII, but only if one has never harmed, or allowed to come to harm, a Hummingbird.

*Hurricane Flight (Ex):* When flying the Mother of All Hummingbirds stirs up hurricane force winds around herself (it is impossible for her to make Hide or Move Silently Checks while flying). Anything within 10 feet of the Hummingbird is subject to a Whirlwind Spell (caster level is irrelevant as this spell has no level dependent benefits, the range is fixed, and it can only be dispelled by making the Hummingbird cease to fly). Ranged Attacks against the MoAH are impossible unless made with siege equipment (which still takes a -8 to the attack roll). Listen checks within the 10 ft. are impossible to make, and Spot checks to see inside the area are likewise impossible in dusty areas (the Hurricane Flight grants complete concealment in areas of sand, dust, loose dirt, etc.).  The MoaH's vision is unimpaired.  Hummingbirds (and other Birds of the MoaH's choice) are unaffected by this ability.

*Evasion:* The MoaH can avoid even magical and unusual attacks with great agility. If she makes a successful Reflex saving throw against an attack that normally deals half damage on a successful save, she instead takes no damage. When helpless, she does not gain the benefit of evasion. 

*Improved Evasion:* This ability works like evasion, except that while the MoaH still takes no damage on a successful Reflex saving throw against attacks henceforth she takes only half damage on a failed save. If helpless, she does not gain the benefit of improved evasion. 

*Uncanny Dodge:* The MoaH can react to danger before her senses would normally allow her to do so. She retains her Dexterity bonus to AC even if she is caught flat-footed or struck by an invisible attacker. However, she still loses her Dexterity bonus to AC if immobilized. 

*Improved Uncanny Dodge:* The MoaH can no longer be flanked.

This defense denies a rogue the ability to sneak attack the character by flanking her, unless the attacker is at least a 16th Level Rogue. 

*Combat:* The Mother of All Hummingbirds usually relies on Fly-By attacks and her Hurricane Flight to finish off foes. If neither of those work she simply flees.




*The Mother Of All Hummingbirds*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom, Jim and I lie in wait for a fantastic Hummingbird, said to be the patron spirit of her species!"

*Mess Not With The Hummingbirds, For Their Mom Is Vengeful*
"Harlan, we've done some odd things.  But I can't believe we've trapped some small  birds in the hopes a not so small bird will come to their rescue."

"My plan is genius, and you know it."

"May I ask what our end game is here?  What are we doing if she actually shows?"

"Why, capturing her image on this Cameleon of ocurse."

*A Living Storm*

*[size=14pt]FWOOOOOOAAAAAAARRR[/size]*

"Well that was quick."

"Please tell me got that on the Cam?"

"Of course I did, I'm a professional.  Shouldn't we be teleporting out before she turns around and comes back?"

----------


## Bhu

*Lemming Swarm*
Fine Magical Beast
*Hit Dice:* 12d10 (66 hp)
*Initiative:* +2
*Speed:* 15 ft. (3 squares), burrow 15 ft.
*Armor Class:* 20 (+8 Size, +2 Dex), touch 20, flat-footed 18
*Base Attack/Grapple:* +12/-
*Attack:* Swarm (3d6+curse)
*Full Attack:* Swarm (3d6+curse)
*Space/Reach:* 10 ft./0 ft.
*Special Attacks:* Distraction
*Special Qualities:* Swarm Traits, Dark Vision 60 ft., Immune to Weapon Damage, Lemming Curse, Scent
*Saves:* Fort +8, Ref +10, Will +6
*Abilities:* Str 1, Dex 15, Con 10, Int 4, Wis 14, Cha 10
*Skills:* Hide +18, Listen +7, Spot +7, Swim +4
*Feats:* Alertness, Ability Focus (Lemmings Curse), Endurance, Run, Cold Endurance
*Environment:* Temperate or Cold Forest, Hills, Mountains, or Plains
*Organization:* Solitary, Cluster (3-6 Swarms), or Hive (10-20 Swarms) plus converts (CR of converts should be equal to 1/2 total CR of the swarms)
*Challenge Rating:* 7
*Treasure:* None
*Alignment:* Usually Neutral
*Advancement:* -
*Level Adjustment:* ----

_"Bert I don't like the way them critters is lookin' at us.  Bert?  Bert why you lookin' at me like them thangs over there?"_

These look pretty much like any other Lemming.  Little fuzzy critters.  WHo munch endlessly and occasionally swarm for no apparent reason.  Surrounded by large, sometimes not so fuzzy critters with blank expressions on their faces...  Dammit you're gonna have to have a talk with the local Wizards again.

*Lemmings Curse (Su):* Anyone subjected to the Lemmings Swarm attack must make a DC 18 Willpower Save (Save DC is Charisma based) or also be subjected to the Lemmings Curse. If it makes the Save it is immune to this swarms curse for 24 hours. If it fails it's mental stats become the same as the Lemming Swarms, and it believes itself to be one of them. The victim will do it's absolute best to defend the swarm. However it will possibly lose some feats, spells, class abilities, etc due to it's new mental stats. Since it now has the mind of a Lemming it no longer understands any language, and cannot communicate. Nor does it remember it's old life or friends. The curse lasts until the poor fool is eaten, or some kind soul casts Remove Curse/Miracle/Wish, etc.

*Combat:* The Lemmings aren't interested in wiping opponents out as having them join the horde.  If something is immune to their Curse, they'll have the converts take him out back, so to speak...




*Lemming Swarm*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom, Jim and I visit an old foe!"

*Subject of Falsehoods*
"Aren't these the little rodents that you convince everyone would run off cliffs if panicked?"

"In my defense we needed them to do something, anything, on Cameleon. We're here to investigate rumors though."

"Are they rumors you didn't start personally?"

"Why Jim, I feel wounded.  Make sure your forcewall is up though."

*They Adopt What They Can't Kill*

"Why?"

"Word has it their bite is mind altering, and if you  get bitten you become one with the swarm."

"Why that's not terrifying at all..."

"Is that an Orc?  What are you doing here sir?  This is a dangerous place!"

"Squeak Squeak Squeak SQUEAKEN!!!"

----------


## Bhu

*The Mosquito*
                      Fine Magical Beast
*Hit Dice:*             1d10 (5 hp)
*Initiative:*           +8
*Speed:*                5 ft. (1 square), Fly 40 ft. (Good)
*Armor Class:*          23 (+8 Size, +5 Dex), touch 23, flat-footed 18
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +1/-20 
*Attack:*               Proboscis +4 melee touch (see below)
*Full Attack:*          Proboscis +4 melee touch (see below)
*Space/Reach:*          0 ft./0 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Proboscis, Disease, Blood Drain
*Special Qualities:*    Improved Scent, Immunities, Early Warning System, Stubbornness, Mindless, Darkvision 60 ft.
*Saves:*                Fort +2, Ref +10, Will +3
*Abilities:*            Str -, Dex 20, Con 10, Int -, Wis 16, Cha 2
*Skills:*               Hide +21, Listen +5, Move Silently +5, Spot +5
*Feats:*                Alertness (B)
*Environment:*          Any non aquatic
*Organization:*         Unique
*Challenge Rating:*     1
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Neutral Evil
*Advancement:*          ---
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_"DAMMIT!"_

Mosquitoes are an ever present hazard in the local marsh.  One in particular seems bloody well invulnerable, always returning after being swatted.  It appears to be a dark red mosquito with no other unusual features.  Some people think it is the result of a divine curse upon the area.  Others point to the high level of magical wastes in the area thanks to the local Potion Makers Guild.

*Proboscis (Ex):* If the Mosquito succeeds with an Opposed Move Silently vs Listen Check it may stab it's victim with it's proboscis.  Not only is the victim considered Flat-Footed, they do not know the proboscis attack has happened.  Once it is successful, it maintains the proboscis attack as it is now attached to the victim.  It must make an opposed Hide vs Spot Check each round it wishes to remain attached, and does not receive it's Dexterity Bonus to AC while attached.

*Disease (Ex):* Any opponent the Mosquito successfully hits with it's Proboscis Attack must make an appropriate Fortitude Save or contract one of the following diseases: Encephalitis, West Nile, Malaria, Dengue Fever, Yellow Fever, or Rift Valley Fever.  It must make an additional Save each round the attack is maintained.

*Blood Drain (Ex):* If the Mosquito can maintain it's Proboscis Attack for 4 rounds it's opponent takes 1 point of temporary Strength damage.
*
Improved Scent (Ex):* Similar to the normal Scent Ability, but it can detect blood at a range of up to 1 mile.

*Immunities (Ex):* The Mosquito is immune to poison and disease.

*Early Warning System (Ex):* The Mosquito gets a Bonus to it's Initiative rolls and Reflex Saves equal to it's Wisdom Modifier.  

*Stubbornness (Ex):*  If destroyed the Mosquito reappears 2d4 days later.  To rid the world of it would require divine intervention such as a Miracle or Wish spell.  Or just an angry Gawd.

*Combat:* The Mosquito doesn't fight so much as steal blood and flee.

Disease|Type|Incubation Period|Initial Damage|Secondary Damage
Dengue Fever|Injury DC 12|1d3+3 days|1 Str|1d3 Str and 1d3 Con
Encephalitis|Any* DC 13|1d4 days|1 Dex and 1 Wis|1d3 Dex and 1d3 Wis
Malaria|Injury DC 14|2d6+6 days|1 Con|1d4 Con
Rift Valley Fever|Any* DC 13|2d3 days|1 Str|1d3 Str
Yellow Fever|Injury DC 15|1d4+2 days|1 Con|1d4 Con


* Can be Inhaled, Ingested, Injury, or Contact






*The Mosquito*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom, Jim and I come to you live! From the Black Marsh!"

*A Local Legend*
"What flight of fancy are we observing today?"

"Word has it this swamp is haunted by an immortal mosquito!"

"A mosquito? That's it?  How are we supposed to tell it from the other mosquitoes?"

"It's red in color, and described as 'evil looking' by the locals."

*A Seething Cauldron of Hate and Disease*

"It's a mosquito, they can all be described as evil looking"

"It's said this one won't stay dead no matter how many times you kill it."

"So we'll be touring a monster infested swamp, killing mosquitoes, and waiting to see which of them gets back up?"

----------


## Bhu

*Raccoons of Fire and Fury*
                      Small Magical Beast
*Hit Dice:*             1d10+1 (6 hp)
*Initiative:*           +2
*Speed:*                30 ft. (6 squares), Climb 20 ft.
*Armor Class:*          14 (+1 Size, +2 Dex, +1 Natural), touch 13, flat-footed 12
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +1/-4
*Attack:*               Bite +4 melee (1d3-1)
*Full Attack:*          1 Bite +4 melee (1d3-1) and 2 Claws -1 melee (1d2-1)
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Breath Weapon, Spell-Like Abilities, Fury
*Special Qualities:*    Darkvision 60 ft., Scent, Consume Anything, Merge, SR 13
*Saves:*                Fort +3, Ref +4, Will +2
*Abilities:*            Str 8, Dex 15, Con 13, Int 16, Wis 15, Cha 16
*Skills:*               Balance +10, Bluff +5, Climb+10, Concentration +1, Escape Artist +6, Hide +10, Listen +6, Move Silently +6, Search +3, Spot +6, Survival +6, Swim +5, Tumble +6
*Feats:*                Weapon Finesse
*Environment:*          Any non-Desert land (but usually Forest) 
*Organization:*        Solitary, Pair or Family (3 to 12)
*Challenge Rating:*     2
*Treasure:*             Standard
*Alignment:*            Chaotic Neutral
*Advancement:*          2-3 HD (Small)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

"Abner...why are the lil forest critters eating my money?"

The Raccoons of Fire and Fury appear to be normal Raccoons of Bad Critter Forest.  Several things set them apart form non-magical raccoons: they have humanoid level intelligence, they can spit fire, and they can eat anything (even metal).  They live among quite a good many Fey, and have adopted their whimsical nature.  They can understand Common and Sylvan, but only rarely bother to speak it (they find pretending to be a normal animal is usually a pretty good defense).  They do have a reputation for eating money, and often rob would be adventurers who pass through their territory.

*Breath Weapon (Su):* Once every 1d4 rounds the Raccoon can breathe a 20 foot long Cone of Fire doing 1d8 damage (DC 11 Reflex Save for half damage, Save DC is Constitution based).

*Spell-Like Abilities (Sp):* At Will: Prestidigitation.  1/day: Cause Fear, Detect Magic, Detect Thoughts, Dispel Magic, Entangle, Faerie Fire, Hideous Laughter, Mislead, Pass Without Trace, Speak With Animals.  Caster level 8th.  

*Fury (Ex):* A Raccoon that takes damage in combat flies into a berserk fury on its next turn, clawing and biting madly until either it or its opponent is dead. It gains +4 bonus to Strength and a +2 dodge bonus to Armor Class and on Reflex saves. While in a fury, the Raccoon may make one extra attack in a round at his highest base attack bonus, but this attack takes a -2 penalty, as does each other attack made that round. This penalty applies for 1 round, so it also affects attacks of opportunity the Raccoon might make before his next action.  Fury is otherwise identical to the standard barbarian rage in all other ways.

*Consume Anything (Ex):* Raccoons are immune to disease and poison, and can consume any material, organic or otherwise.  Rumor has it their favorite food is gold coins.

*Merge (Su):* 3 Raccoons standing adjacent to each other can merge into 3 Raccoons in a Human Suit (see statblock below) as a Standard Action.

*Skills:* Raccoons have a +8 Racial Bonus on Balance and Climb Checks.  They use their Dexterity modifier instead of their Strength modifier for Climb and Jump checks, and can always choose to take 10 on a Climb check, even if rushed or threatened.  They also have a +4 Racial Bonus on Escape Artist, Hide, Move Silently and Swim Checks. 

*Combat:* The Raccoons prefer to ambush by stealth, confusing opponents with their Spell-Like Abilities.  If hurt, they make the most of their Fury.



*Raccoons of Fire and Fury*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom we're in Bad Critter Forest, home to many a rumored beast!"

*Mess Not With The Raccoon Federation*
"So what's todays rumored beast Harlan?"

"Raccoons of an unusual disposition."

"Are we sure it's not just one of Prak's creations?  This has been his stomping ground many a time."

"Prak has  never been known to operate in this part of the forest.  He always claimed it was infested."


*Bringing the Jiggle*
"So what do these Raccoons do?

"Eat gold and spit fire."

"That's a bit far fetched."


*3 Raccoons In A People Suit*
                      Medium Magical Beast
*Hit Dice:*             3d10+9 (25 hp)
*Initiative:*           +6
*Speed:*                30 ft. (6 squares)
*Armor Class:*          13 (+2 Dex, +1 Natural), touch 12, flat-footed 11
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +3/+5
*Attack:*               Slam +5 melee (1d3+2)
*Full Attack:*          2 Slams +5 melee (1d3+2)
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Breath Weapon, Spell-Like Abilities, Fury
*Special Qualities:*    Darkvision 60 ft., Scent, Consume Anything, SR
*Saves:*                Fort +6, Ref+5, Will +3
*Abilities:*            Str 15, Dex 15, Con 16, Int 16, Wis 15, Cha 16
*Skills:*               Balance +10, Bluff +7, Climb+10, Concentration +7, Escape Artist +6, Hide +6, Listen +8, Move Silently +6, Search +7, Spot +8, Survival +6, Swim +5, Tumble +6
*Feats:*                Alertness, Improved Initiative
*Environment:*          Any non-Desert land (but usually Forest) 
*Organization:*         Usually Solitary
*Challenge Rating:*     4
*Treasure:*             Standard
*Alignment:*            Chaotic Neutral
*Advancement:*          4-6 HD (Medium)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

"DO NOT BE ALARMED!  WE AM A PERFECTLY NORMAL HUMAN MALE!  WE FLOSS REGULARLY!"

"We?"

Occasionally the Raccoons need to venture among the civilized people of the world, and when that happens three of them merge into one humanoid body of any Medium sized race.  They can decide details, like race, gender, hair and eye color, etc.  They do this to find food or medicine, rescue their own, get revenge, play pranks, etc.

*Breath Weapon (Su):* Once every 1d4 rounds the Raccoon can breathe a 20 foot long Cone of Fire doing 4d6 damage (DC 14 Reflex Save for half damage, Save DC is Constitution based).

*Spell-Like Abilities (Sp):* The 3 Raccoons have the combined daily uses of their Spell-Like Abilities that they haven't already cast.

*Fury (Ex):* A Raccoon that takes damage in combat flies into a berserk fury on its next turn, clawing and biting madly until either it or its opponent is dead. It gains +4 bonus to Strength and a +2 dodge bonus to Armor Class and on Reflex saves. While in a fury, the Raccoon may make one extra attack in a round at his highest base attack bonus, but this attack takes a -2 penalty, as does each other attack made that round. This penalty applies for 1 round, so it also affects attacks of opportunity the Raccoon might make before his next action.  Fury is otherwise identical to the standard barbarian rage in all other ways.

*Consume Anything (Ex):* Raccoons are immune to disease and poison, and can consume any material, organic or otherwise.  Rumor has it their favorite food is gold coins.

*Split (Ex):* If the Raccoons take 6 or more damage in a single hit, they must make a DC 14 Fortitude Save or split into 3 raccoons (damage taken will be spread evenly among them).  If they take 12 or more damage in a single hit, they split automatically, and one of the three raccoons is dead.  They can voluntarily split as a Swift Action at any time.

*Skills:* Raccoons have a +8 Racial Bonus on Balance and Climb Checks.  They use their Dexterity modifier instead of their Strength modifier for Climb and Jump checks, and can always choose to take 10 on a Climb check, even if rushed or threatened.  They also have a +4 Racial Bonus on Escape Artist, Hide, Move Silently and Swim Checks.

*Combat:*  Raccoons merge into a humanoid form to walk unnoticed (ha!) among civilized people.  They try to avoid combat while on these stealth missions, but their tactics aren't really any different from when they fight solo.



*3 Raccoons In A People Suit*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Jim and I are just about to interview one of the locals on the recent raccoon rumors."

*Totally Not Raccoons, No Sir*
"What's your name sir?"

"I AM LORD HUMONGOUS!  I AM ALL POWERFUL!"

"Here we go..."

"What can you tell us about the rumored raccoons sir?"

"I LORD HUMONGOUS KNOW ALL!  AND RACCOONS ARE FIBBERY!"

"Harlan, are we done here?"


*Not a  Perfect Disguise*
"Well, you have a nice day sir..."

"GOODBYE HUMAN!"

"Human?"

"We're made, run for it!"

"Did that man split into 3 raccoons?"

"Guess, it's more than rumor."

----------


## Metastachydium

> *The Mother Of All Hummingbirds*
> 
> ()
> 
> The Mother of All Hummingbirds is a rather large rainbow colored hummingbird that is rarely seen unless summoned magically, or seeking vengeance on those who harm her kin. Her purpose and desires are otherwise unknown. She is, however, quite destructive, though she doesn't seem to intend to cause harm. The winds stirred up by her flight can destroy small villages. But people like her cause she's so pwetty. Darn weird them people. Despite being almost 6 ft. long the MoaH is only 80 pounds. While she cannot speak she does understand Common, Elven, Auran, and Sylvan.


Let me preface things with this: I'm so *absolutely* loving _everything_ about this BIRDY! And now, to business:




> Medium Magical Beast
> *Hit Dice:* 12d10+60 (138 hp)


Looks like you calculated with d12s. The correct number (much as it may pain me) should be 126 hp.




> *Speed:* Fly 240 ft. ( 48 squares), Perfect


She has no land speed at all? Not even a 5' one or something?




> *Armor Class:* 20 (+5 Dex, +5 Deflection), touch 20, flat-footed 15


I assume the +5 deflection is derived from CHA, but I don't see Unearthly Grace (so pretty!) in the SQ line.




> *Feats:* Fly-By Attack, Hover, Improved Initiative, Lightning Reflexes, Weapon Finesse, Wingover (B)


Okay, now I'm _absolutely_ certain perfect flight comes with built-in Hover.




> *Environment:* Any (only appears when summoned or on business)


Mysterious! (Is she extraplanar?)




> *Hurricane Flight (Ex):* When flying the Mother of All Hummingbirds stirs up hurricane force winds around herself (it is impossible for her to make Hide or Move Silently Checks while flying). Anything within 10 feet of the Hummingbird is subject to a Whirlwind Spell (caster level is irrelevant as this spell has no level dependent benefits, the range is fixed, and it can only be dispelled by making the Hummingbird cease to fly). Ranged Attacks against the MoAH are impossible unless made with siege equipment (which still takes a -8 to the attack roll). Listen checks within the 10 ft. are impossible to make, and Spot checks to see inside the area are likewise impossible in dusty areas (the Hurricane Flight grants complete concealment in areas of sand, dust, loose dirt, etc.).  The MoaH's vision is unimpaired.


I'm wondering here: could this somehow magically _not_ affect little birds? I think that would make sense.




> "Harlan, we've done some odd things.  But I can't believe we've trapped some small  birds in the hopes a not so small bird will come to their rescue."
> 
> "My plan is genius, and you know it."


It's official, all gnomes are bad news!

----------


## Bhu

Well crap, it looks like some of the edits i made before pasting it here didn't take!

I'll have it fixed by the weekend.

----------


## Bhu

> I assume the +5 deflection is derived from CHA, but I don't see Unearthly Grace (so pretty!) in the SQ line.


  She doesn't have Unearthly Grace, she merely hasa deflection bonus to AC (she's slowly evolving to become a Native Outsider).  Fixed the problems that weren't saved off the first time.  Also added how to summon her, and the stuff you requested).


As of next weekend, it will officially be October, so we will be putting Mutual of Gnomeahaw on hiatus for the month to make way for Uncle Kitty's Halloween Special! Twill be horror critters only for the month of October.

----------


## Metastachydium

> She doesn't have Unearthly Grace, she merely hasa deflection bonus to AC (she's slowly evolving to become a Native Outsider).


The source of that should appear somewhere in the description, I'd say.  




> Also added how to summon her, and the stuff you requested


Gotta love the no-little-birds harmed clauses there!

----------


## Bhu

*Black Render*
                      Huge Magical Beast
*Hit Dice:*             16d10+144 (232 hp)
*Initiative:*           +3
*Speed:*                40 ft. (8 squares)
*Armor Class:*          22 (-2 Size, -1 Dex, +15 Natural), touch 7, flat-footed 22
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +16/+34
*Attack:*               Bite+24 melee (3d6+10)
*Full Attack:*          1 Bite +24 melee (3d6+10) and 2 Claws +19 melee (1d8+5)
*Space/Reach:*          15 ft./15 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Improved Grab, Rend (2d8+15)
*Special Qualities:*    Darkvision 60 feet, Low Light Vision, Scent, Determined Fury
*Saves:*                Fort +19, Ref +9, Will +6
*Abilities:*            Str 31, Dex 8, Con 28, Int 5, Wis 12, Cha 10
*Skills:*               Hide +3, Spot +10, Survival +5
*Feats:*                Cleave, Great Cleave, Improved Initiative, Power Attack, Improved Bull Rush, Track
*Environment:*          Warm Marshes
*Organization:*         Solitary
*Challenge Rating:*     10
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Usually Neutral
*Advancement:*          17-32 HD (Huge), 33-64 HD (Gargantuan)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_"Looks like Harvey made it into the swamps.  Poor bastard.  He might've preferred the gallows to what's waiting for him out there."_

Black Renders are much much taller than the typical Gray Render, and inhabit warmer feeding areas as well.  Unlike Gray Renders they don't appear to adopt companions, and attack virtually everything in sight large enough to gain their attention.  Rarely spotted, it is currently unknown if this is a separate species or simply an occasional mutation as no specimen has ever been brought in for study, dead or otherwise.

*Improved Grab (Ex):* If the Black Render successfully attacks with its Bite it may immediately attempt a Grapple Check as a Free Action without provoking an attack of opportunity.

*Rend (Ex):* If the Render succeeds in grappling after a bite it automatically does 2d8+15 damage with its claws each round until the grapple is escaped by it's opponent.

*Determined Fury (Ex):* 3 times per day, whenever the Black Render takes damage from any source or fails a Saving Throw, it can choose not to take the damage or suffer the effects of a Failed Save (or a successful one if there is an additional effect for successful Saves) until the beginning of the next round.  It may fight normally even at 0 or negative hit points.

*Skills:* Black Renders gain a +6 Racial Bonus to Spot checks.

*Combat:* Black Renders are unsurprisingly not so different from Gray Renders when it comes down to the point of fighting and killing.



*Black Render*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I are looking for the fabled Black Render!"

*Twice As Tall, And A Hundred  Times Meaner*
"With me is local man Mash 'gator bait' Johnson.  You say the Black render is much bigger than the usual Gray Render?"

"Darn tootin'.  I've seen smaller Giants."

"Did you try to bond with it?"
[img]
"Yes sir.  Then it threw me into a mountain side."


*They Tend To Wipe Out All Other Life*

"There aren't any mountains near here..."

"Yeah.  He flung me a long ways."

----------


## Bhu

*Wooly Ettercap*
                      Medium Aberration
*Hit Dice:*             6d8+12 (39 hp)
*Initiative:*           +1
*Speed:*                30 ft. (6 squares), Climb 30 ft.
*Armor Class:*          14 (+1 Dex, +3 Natural), touch 11, flat-footed 13
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +4/+7
*Attack:*               Bite +7 melee (1d8+3 plus poison)
*Full Attack:*          1 Bite +7 melee (1d8+3 plus poison), and 2 Claws +5 melee (1d4+1)
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Poison, Improved Grab
*Special Qualities:*    Low Light Vision
*Saves:*                Fort +6, Ref +3, Will +7
*Abilities:*            Str 17, Dex 13, Con 14, Int 6, Wis 15, Cha 8
*Skills:*               Climb +11, Hide +8, Listen +4, Spot +8, Survival +4
*Feats:*               Cold Endurance, Great Fortitude. Multiattack, Improved Cold Endurance (B)
*Environment:*          Cold Forest
*Organization:*         Solitary or Pair
*Challenge Rating:*     4
*Treasure:*             Standard
*Alignment:*            Usually Neutral Evil
*Advancement:*          7-8 HD (Medium), 9-16 HD (Large)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_"Burt, for the last time the rumors 'bout giant spider people in the woods are just stories.  It's too cold here."_

The Wooly Ettercaps are a bizarre offshoot of regular Ettercaps that have adapted to life in arctic forests.  Their origin is unknown as the species is rare, and no one has as yet found a nest of them (or for that matter seen more than two at the same time).   Woolies are still fond of spiders, but unless there are Snow Spiders in the area they have little in the way of luck finding any as companions.   They appear much like regular Ettercaps except they are covered in thick hairs that are colored to blend in with the snowy forests.

*Poison (Ex)*: Injury, DC 15 Fortitude Save (Save DC is Con based), Initial and Secondary damage is 1d8 Strength.

*Improved Grab (Ex)*: If the Wooly Ettercap successfully hits with it's Bite attack it may immediately make a Grapple Check as a Free Action without provoking an Attack of Opportunity.  If successful it does it's bite damage each turn.

*Skills*: Wooly Ettercaps get a +4 Racial Bonus on Hide and Spot Checks, and a +8 Racial Bonus to Climb Checks.  They may always take 10 on a Climb Check.

*Combat*: Wooly Ettercaps tend to just hide until suitable prey comes by before ambushing it.  They usually bite and grapple, letting their poison do the work.  If there are multiple foes, they bite one to poison him, and follow the group to attack again later, slowly trying to weaken them.



*Wooly Ettercap*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I are looking for the Great Northern Dire Ape!"

*Your Friendly Neighborhood Spider People*
"Harlan, spells are the only thing keeping me from freezing.  There can't be any apes up here."

"I agree.  If there were we'd have seen them."

""HOLY (beeep)!

"Howdy.  Names Fizzy."


*What The Hell Do They Eat?*

"Sorry, you scared the life out of me."

"Sorry bout that.  By any chance might you have some coffee we can trade for?"

----------


## Bhu

*Mimic, Concubine*
                      Medium Aberration (Shapechanger)
*Hit Dice:*             10d8+40 (85 hp)
*Initiative:*           +6
*Speed:*                30 ft. (6 squares), Climb 30 ft.
*Armor Class:*          17 (+2 Dex, +5 natural), touch 12, flat-footed 15
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +7/+11
*Attack:*               Slam or Bite +11 melee (1d8+4) or by weapon +11/+6
*Full Attack:*          4 Slams or Bites +11 melee (1d8+4) or by weapon +11/+6
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Adhesive, Devour
*Special Qualities:*    Shapeshift, Malleable, Immunity to Acid
*Saves:*                Fort +7, Ref +5, Will +9
*Abilities:*            Str 18, Dex 14, Con 18, Int 14, Wis 14, Cha 14
*Skills:*               Bluff +7, Climb +12, Diplomacy +7, Disguise +15, Escape Artist +10, Gather Information +7, Hide +7, Knowledge (Local) +6, Listen +6, Move Silently +7, Sense Motive +7, Spot +6, Tumble +7
*Feats:*                Improved Initiative, Improved Multiattack, Multiattack, Multiweapon Fighting
*Environment:*          Any
*Organization:*         Solitary
*Challenge Rating:*     7
*Treasure:*             Standard
*Alignment:*            Usually Neutral or Chaotic Evil
*Advancement:*          By Character Class
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_"I think the maid may be some sort of unholy shapeshifting abomination."_

"You sure you aren't just drunk?"

_"Oh no, I'm drunk.  I'm drunk as hell.  But her petticoat just ate Mr. Johnson's brain."_

As if Mimics weren't bad enough, Mages later decided to tinker with them.  It's not as if their original design wasn't bad enough.  No, these jerks decided they had to go a step further and make seductive ones who could mingle socially and assassinate important people.  There are even rumors some of the Mages were devoured by them so the Mimics could gain their freedom.  So now they're pretty much the perfect urban predator, and have even picked up fighting skills so they can get into combat without revealing themselves.  They are proficient with all Simple weapons and Light Armor (though they usually don't wear it), and speak Common plus two other languages. As with other Mimics they appear to have no true natural forms, and are mostly inert blobs of matter.  But their bodies have a sort of memory, and they remain in whatever shape they have taken if they are somehow rendered unconscious.

*Adhesive (Ex):* Due to the Mimics sticky skin surface, it is considered to be Grappling anything successfully attacked by it's Slam/Bite attack.  An opponent so Grappled cannot escape until 5 rounds after the Mimic dies, it willingly lets go, or the adhesive is dissolved by applying strong alcohol.  Even without the adhesive the Mimic can Grapple normally.  Weapons striking the Mimic stick to it unless the wielder makes a DC 16 Reflex Save (or a DC 16 Strength Check once it has become stuck).

*Devour (Ex):* The Mimic does 2d6+4 bludgeoning, slashing or piercing damage with a successful Grapple Check.

*Shapeshift (Ex):* The Mimic Concubine can imitate virtually any being of the same size as itself with a DC 25 Disguise Check.  If it is familiar with that person the Check DC is -5, and if it knows them really well -10.  It can even imitate their voice.  Effectively you can cast Alter Self at Will, with a few differences.  Equipment does not meld with your body, the new form must be the same Size Class as yourself, you do not lose the Extraordinary Abilities of your normal form, and you can mimic things like armor/clothing.  Caster Level is effectively equal to Hit Dice.  Since this ability allows the Mimic to manifest multiple limbs the Mimic qualifies for the Improved Multiattack, Multiattack, and Multiweapon Fighting Feats (just not all of the time, when it has two limbs treat this as Two Weapon Fighting).

*Malleable (Ex):* Concubine Mimics are extremely malleable able to change their form, color, and texture at will.  They are immune to poison, sleep, paralysis, polymorph, stunning, and critical hits.  It also cannot be flanked.  It may squeeze through any door or fence which has at least a one inch gap between the floor/fence bars.  

*Skills:* Concubine Mimics get a +8 Racial Bonus to Disguise and Escape Artist Checks.

*Combat:* Concubine Mimics prefer to use their disguises to infiltrate balls and parties.  Once they find sufficiently inebriated prey they try to seduce it away someplace quiet where they can't be interrupted and waits for it's prey to 'place itself in a vulnerable position'.  Once the prey is sufficiently unarmored and weaponless, the Mimic shifts form, sticks to the target, and munches away.  They are usually quite wealthy if they hire themselves out as assassins.  If found out as a killer (but not a Mimic) they usually have a few weapons on their person to fight while hiding their true nature until escape is possible.  




*Mimic, Concubine*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I are interviewing a very rare sort of Mimic!"

*The Anti Bard Mimic*
"So the runors about you being created by mad Wizards are true?"

"Aren't most Wizards mad?"

"Fair enough."

"Hey now!"

"Thankfully we were smart enough to eat them.  Buncha perverts."


*Mercenary Mimics*

"So what do you do now?"

"Most of us are killers for hire.  Hot dresses are expensive dresses.  Except my cousin Bedelia.  She settled down, had 14 half mimic kids.  Her husband is still clueless."

----------


## Bhu

*The Beast of Blackwater Moors*
                      Large Monstrous Humanoid
*Hit Dice:*             12d8+60 (114 hp)
*Initiative:*           +4
*Speed:*                50 ft. (10 squares)
*Armor Class:*          21 (-1 Size, +12 Natural Armor), touch 9, flat-footed 21
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +12/+22
*Attack:*               Claw +17 melee (1d8+6/19-20)
*Full Attack:*          2 Claws +17 melee (1d8+6/19-20) and 1 Bite + 12 melee (1d10 +3)
*Space/Reach:*          10 ft./10 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Assimilate, Living Juggernaut, Improved Grab, Constrict 2d8+6
*Special Qualities:*    Darkvision 60 ft., Low Light Vision, Scent, DR 5/Adamantine, Regeneration 5, Ferocity
*Saves:*                Fort +9, Ref +8, Will +10
*Abilities:*            Str 22, Dex 10, Con 20, Int 2, Wis 14, Cha 14
*Skills:*               Climb +12, Hide +2, Intimidate +4, Jump +12, Listen +7, Move Silently +6, Search +1, Spot +7, Survival +7, Swim +7
*Feats:*                Cleave, Improved Bull Rush, Improved Critical (Claw), Improved Initiative, Power Attack
*Environment:*          Temperate Marsh or Plains
*Organization:*         Unique
*Challenge Rating:*     9
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Chaotic Neutral
*Advancement:*          13+ HD (Large)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_"Did you hear that?"_

The Beast of Blackwater Moor is a large hairy anthropoid with a mixture of various features of ape, goat, man, and other animals.  It is said to have clawed hands and feet, fanged teeth with tusks jutting from its mouth, pointed ears, and long horns.  Many dismiss it as simply a rogue minotaur that has escaped an underground maze and ended up on the moors.  Others point out that Minotaurs are very obviously Bull men, and have cloven hooves for feet.  Nor do they occasionally change in appearance.  Some wonder if it's the creation of a dead Mage, a curse gone wrong, or a punishment by the Gods. Thankfully there only seems to be one.

*Assimilate (Su):* Whenever the Beast of Blackwater Moor eats a creature it gains one Exceptional ability listed under either Special Attacks or Special Qualities for 1 week.  It also temporarily changes appearance based on what this ability is.  For example if it gains a poisonous Bite from eating giant spiders, it may take on a spiderlike face and mandibles. It may only absorb 1 ability at a time, but may switch out at will when it consumes a new opponent.  If the victim has no Exceptional Abilities (or none that the Beast doesn't already possess), it may gain 1 of the following: A move type it doesn't currently have (use the eaten creatures speed), a Secondary Natural Attack it doesn't currently have (modify damage based on Size and Strength), a +4 Resistance Bonus to 1 Saving Throw, a +4 Enhancement Bonus to one Skill, a +2 Enhancement Bonus to 1 Ability Score, or it's Natural Armor Bonus increases by +4.

*Living Juggernaut (Ex):* The Beast is immune to Feats (such as Large and in Charge) or Class Abilities that would interrupt or prevent its attack when it is Charging.  It is immune to Slow or any similar effect that lowers it's movement when Charging. The Beast does 2d10+6 damage with a successful Charge Attack. Instead of the normal charge modifiers, it's bonus to hit is +4, and it receives no AC penalty.   It does not need to move in a straight line when Charging, but it does still need to move at least 10 ft..

*Ferocity (Ex):* The Beast may fight normally when at negative hit points.

*Improved Grab (Ex):* If the Beast hits successfully with a claw attack it may make a Grapple check as a Free Action without provoking an attack of opportunity.  If it succeeds it may Rend the next round.

*Constrict (Ex):* The Beast does 2d8+6 with a successful Grapple check.

*Regeneration (Ex):* Fire and acid deal normal damage to The Beast. If the Beast loses a limb or body part, the lost portion regrows in 3d6 minutes. The creature can reattach the severed member instantly by holding it to the stump.

*Skills:* The Beast has a +4 Racial Bonus to Climb, Hide, Jump, Listen, Move Silently, Search, Spot, and Survival checks.

*Combat:* The Beast charges into the nearest opponent, and begins to tear it to pieces.  It will concentrate on this opponent unless another proves itself to be more of a problem (i.e. does more damage).  If reduced to half or less hit points it will flee and try to hide in the moors.



*The Beast of Blackwater Moors*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I are back in Florida!"

*Truly, The Gawds Must Be Crazy*
"Why are we here Harlan?"

"Looking for a local urban legend."

"And what does this one look like?"

"RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRR!"

"Like that."


*Never Looks The Same Twice*

1 hour later

"I can't believe it's still trying to chew it's way through that forcewall."

"Hey, at least we're getting plenty of Cameleon footage."

----------


## Bhu

*Chicken Lord, Hatchling*
                      Small Magical Beast (Evil)
*Hit Dice:*             3d10+3 (19 hp)
*Initiative:*           +0
*Speed:*                20 ft. (4 squares)
*Armor Class:*          12 (+1 Size, +1 Natural), touch 11, flat-footed 11
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +3/-3
*Attack:*               Peck +2 melee (1d3-2) 
*Full Attack:*          Peck +2 melee (1d3-2) 
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Lord of the Chikins, BAWK!, 
*Special Qualities:*    Spontaneous Awakening,  Low Light Vision, Darkvision 30 ft.
*Saves:*                Fort +4, Ref +3, Will +2
*Abilities:*            Str 6, Dex 10, Con 12, Int 12, Wis 12, Cha 12
*Skills:*               Bluff +3, Concentration +3, Hide +4, Knowledge (Local) +3, Listen +5, Move Silently +3, Search +4, Sense Motive +3, Spot +5
*Feats:*               Alertness, Weapon Focus (Peck)
*Environment:*          Warm Plains
*Organization:*         Solitary
*Challenge Rating:*     2
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Neutral Evil
*Advancement:*          4-5 HD (Small)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---


*Chicken Lord, Young*
                      Medium Magical Beast (Evil)
*Hit Dice:*             6d10+12 (45 hp)
*Initiative:*           +5
*Speed:*                30 ft. (6 squares)
*Armor Class:*          15 (+1 Dex, +4 Natural), touch 11, flat-footed 14
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +6/+6
*Attack:*               Peck +7 melee (1d4) or Eye Ray +7 Ranged Touch (1d8)
*Full Attack:*          Peck +7 melee (1d4) or Eye Ray +7 Ranged Touch (1d8)
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Lord of the Chikins, BAWK!, Eye Rays
*Special Qualities:*    Spontaneous Awakening, SR 15, Low Light Vision, Darkvision 60 ft., Damage Reduction 5/Magic, Fast Healing 3
*Saves:*                Fort +7, Ref +6, Will +4
*Abilities:*            Str 10, Dex 12, Con 14, Int 14, Wis 14, Cha 14
*Skills:*               Bluff +4, Concentration +4, Gather Information +4, Hide +3, Intimidate +4, Knowledge (Arcana, Local, Nature) +4, Listen +5, Move Silently +3, Search +4, Sense Motive +4, Spellcraft +5, Spot +5
*Feats:*               Alertness, Improved Initiative, Weapon Focus (Peck)
*Environment:*          Warm Plains
*Organization:*         Solitary
*Challenge Rating:*     4
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Neutral Evil
*Advancement:*          7-11 HD (Medium)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---




*Chicken Lord, Adult*
                      Large Magical Beast (Evil)
*Hit Dice:*             12d10+36 (102 hp)
*Initiative:*           +5
*Speed:*                40 ft. (8 squares)
*Armor Class:*          18 (-1 Size, +1 Dex, +8 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 17
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +12/+18
*Attack:*               Peck +14 melee (1d6+2) or Eye Ray +12 Ranged Touch (2d6)
*Full Attack:*          Peck +14 melee (1d6+2) or Eye Ray +12 Ranged Touch (2d6)
*Space/Reach:*          10 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Lord of the Chikins, BAWK!, Smite Non-Chikin, Eye Rays
*Special Qualities:*    Spontaneous Awakening, SR 18,  Low Light Vision, Darkvision 90 ft., Damage Reduction 5/Magic, Fast Healing 5
*Saves:*                Fort +11, Ref +9, Will +7
*Abilities:*            Str 14, Dex 12, Con 16, Int 14, Wis 16, Cha 16
*Skills:*               Bluff +7, Concentration +7, Gather Information +5, Hide +1, Intimidate +5, Knowledge (Arcana, Local, Nature) +5, Listen +7, Move Silently +5, Search +6, Sense Motive +5, Spellcraft +6, Spot +7
*Feats:*               Alertness, Improved Initiative, Point Blank Shot, Precise Shot, Weapon Focus (Peck)
*Environment:*          Warm Plains
*Organization:*         Solitary
*Challenge Rating:*     7
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Neutral Evil
*Advancement:*          13-23 HD (Large)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---




*Chicken Lord, Mature Adult*
                      Huge Magical Beast (Evil)
*Hit Dice:*             24d10+120 (252 hp)
*Initiative:*           +4
*Speed:*                40 ft. (8 squares)
*Armor Class:*          24 (-2 Size, +12 Natural, +4 Profane), touch 12, flat-footed 24
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +24/+38
*Attack:*               Peck +29 melee (1d8+6/19-20) or Eye Ray +22 Ranged Touch (3d6)
*Full Attack:*          Peck +29 melee (1d8+6/19-20) or Eye Ray +22 Ranged Touch (3d6)
*Space/Reach:*          15 ft./10 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Lord of the Chikins, BAWK!, Smite Non-Chikin, Eye Rays
*Special Qualities:*    Spontaneous Awakening, SR 27, Low Light Vision, Darkvision 120 ft., Damage Reduction 10/Magic, Fast Healing 5
*Saves:*                Fort +19, Ref +14, Will +12
*Abilities:*             Str 22, Dex 10, Con 20, Int 16, Wis 18, Cha 18
*Skills:*               Bluff +15, Concentration +15, Gather Information +15, Hide +1, Intimidate +15, Knowledge (Arcana, Local, Nature) +12, Listen +15, Move Silently +9, Search +14, Sense Motive +15, Spellcraft +12, Spot +15
*Feats:*               Alertness, Blind-Fight, Combat Reflexes, Improved Critical (Peck), Improved Initiative, Point Blank Shot, Power Critical (Peck), Precise Shot, Weapon Focus (Peck)
*Environment:*          Warm Plains
*Organization:*         Solitary
*Challenge Rating:*     16
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Neutral Evil
*Advancement:*          25-47 HD (Huge)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---




*Chicken Lord, Lord*
                      Gargantuan Magical Beast (Evil)
*Hit Dice:*             48d10+336 (600 hp)
*Initiative:*           +3
*Speed:*                40 ft. (8 squares)
*Armor Class:*          28 (-4 Size, -1 Dex, +18 Natural, +5 Profane), touch 5, flat-footed 28
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +48/+70
*Attack:*               Peck +55 melee (2d6+10/19-20) or Eye Ray +43 Ranged Touch (4d6)
*Full Attack:*          Peck +55 melee (2d6+10/19-20) or Eye Ray +43 Ranged Touch (4d6)
*Space/Reach:*          20 ft./15 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Lord of the Chikins, BAWK!, Smite Non-Chikin, Eye Rays
*Special Qualities:*    Spontaneous Awakening, SR 35, Low Light Vision, Darkvision 240 ft., Damage Reduction 15/Magic, Regeneration 5
*Saves:*                Fort +36, Ref +25, Will +23
*Abilities:*            Str 30, Dex 8, Con 24, Int 18, Wis 20, Cha 20
*Skills:*               Bluff +25, Concentration +27, Gather Information +25, Hide +14, Intimidate +44, Knowledge (Arcana, Local, Nature) +25, Listen +25, Move Silently +18, Search +25, Sense Motive +25, Spellcraft +25, Spot +25
*Feats:*               Alertness, Blind-Fight, Cleave, Combat Reflexes, Devastating Critical (Peck), Epic Fortitude, Epic Will, Great Cleave, Improved Critical (Peck), Improved Initiative, Overwhelming Critical (Peck), Point Blank Shot, Power Attack, Power Critical (Peck), Precise Shot, Spellcasting Harrier, Weapon Focus (Peck) *
*Environment:*          Warm Plains
*Organization:*         Solitary
*Challenge Rating:*     24
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Neutral Evil
*Advancement:*          49+ HD (Gargantuan)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

*Power Critical is from Complete Warrior.  Other Feats not in the PHB are from the Draconomicon.


_"Jeb...the chikins is revolting!"_

_"You need ta clean them cages more oftin Abner."_

_"No, goddangit!! I mean they're formin' a mob!"_

_"MAW!! Maw git me mah mob wallopin' 2 by 4!"_


Every so often a demonic lord of evil is born to a humble chicken.  Upon his hatching the sky darkens.  The earth trembles.  Cows spontaneously burst into flame.  And all the chickens awaken to sapience and become evil.  Evil birds hellbent on the murders of poor, innocent farmers.  The newly born Chicken Lord must be killed quickly before it's powers get out of hand.  Within 20 days it will have progressed from a Hatchling to a young Chicken Lord.  At this point the range of their powers increase, and they can use their eye rays.  Pretty much ensuring the ambush of the local farmer.  In another 30 days they'll be a young adult, and they can change the local peasants into chickens under their control.  By this time they may have taken over the local village.  In 30 more days they will be a Mature Adult, and will only be stoppable by strong heroes.  If they can avoid death for another year they become a full blown Chicken Lord.  At this point stopping them is very difficult, and the world may all become chickens.  Chicken Lords appear to be normal roosters, and can speak and understand Common, and Sylvan.  Despite the description they are not actually demons.  Nor does anyone know why they happen, or why they are hellbent on ruling the world.  Common rumor has it that they are how the Gods screw with people.

*BAWK! (Su):* As a Standard Action a Chicken Lord may crow loudly once every 1d4 rounds.  The exact effects depend on age.  The Radius of effect is 10 ft. for a Hatchling, 30 ft. for Young, 60 ft. for Adult, 120 ft. for Mature Adult, and 240 ft. for Lord.  In all cases any opponent in Range must make a Fortitude Save (DC 12 for Hatchling, DC 15 for Young, DC 19 Adult, DC 27 Mature Adult, DC 40 Lord, Save DC is Constitution Based) or be Deafened permanently.  They must also make a Willpower Save (DC 12 for Hatchling, DC 15 for Young, DC 19 Adult, DC 26 Mature Adult, DC 39 Lord, Save DC is Charisma Based) or be Frightened for 1d4 rounds (1d6 rounds as a Young Chicken Lord, 2d6 rounds once it is Adult or older). A creature that successfully saves cannot be affected again by the same Chicken Lords scare ability for 24 hours. The shriek does not affect other Chickens or Chicken Lord's. This is a supernatural, sonic mind-affecting fear effect.   All opponents also take some amount of Sonic Damage (1d6 Hatchling, 2d6 Young, 4d6 Adult, 8d6 Mature Adult, 16d6 Lord) if they are in the Area of Effect.  They get a Reflex Save (DC 12 for Hatchling, DC 15 for Young, DC 19 Adult, DC 26 Mature Adult, DC 39 Lord, Save DC is Charisma Based) for half damage.  The BAWK! can be heard for miles.

*Smite Non-Chikin (Sp):* The Chicken Lord may cast Baleful Polymorph 5 times per day as a Spell-Like Ability (DC 19 Adult, DC 26 Mature Adult, DC 39 Lord, Caster Level is equal to Hit Dice), but it only works on non-chickens, and only turns them into chickens.  It does not gain this ability until it becomes an adult.  Once a chicken, the victim of this ability immediately becomes vulnerable to Lord of the Chikins.

*Eye Rays (Su):* Once it gets to Young age a Chicken Lord can shoot rays of Force from their eyes as a Ranged Touch Attack (this is considered a Ray Attack, see Aiming a Spell PHB page 175). Range is 50 ft. for Young, 100 ft. for Adult, 150 ft. for Mature Adult, and 250 ft. for Lord.

*Lord of the Chikins (Su):*  Chicken Lord can telepathically communicate and have absolute mental control (as per Dominate Monster, Caster Level is equal to Hit Dice) over all Chickens within a certain radius of themselves (Hatchling: 20 ft., Young: 100 ft.,  Adult: 500 ft., Mature Adult: 1000 ft., Lord: 1 mile). 

*Spontaneous Awakening (Su):* When a Chicken Lord hatches all chickens within 100 feet spontaneously Awaken (as per the spell), as do any chickens that come within range of the Chicken Lords 'Lord of the Chikins' power.  They also become Neutral Evil.

*Combat:* Chicken Lords generally just hide until they have their eye rays (and even then they hide against larger foes).  Generally they try to fight from range until they get older.  Then they just blast away with their Smite ability until all their foes are chickens, and therefore their subjects.












*Chicken Lord*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I are still in Florida, this time investigating rumors of a possessed chicken."

*One Chicken To Rule Them All*
"This is a new low..."

"Hey, we may as well check it out while we're here."

"How does one tell if a chicken is possessed?"

*BAWK!*

"There's a sign..."


*Can Quickly Take Over Small Villages*

"Do you notice how the other chickens are staring at us..."

"Might be tie we teleport out again..."

----------


## Metastachydium

> *Black Render*
> 
> ()
> 
> *Attack:*               Bite+24 melee (2d8+10)


Any reason for it having a weaker bite than a sized-up gray would?




> *Special Attacks:*      Improved Grab, Constrict (2d8+10)


And I can't help but notice that it can't even rend. _It's called a render and it can't rend stuff!_




> Unlike Gray Renders they don't appear to adopt companions, and attack virtually everything in sight large enough to gain their attention.


Now I'm sad. Gray render lore is one of the few pieces of official lore _that I absolutely love_.




> *Determined Fury (Ex):* 3 times per day, whenever the Black Render takes damage from any source or fails a Saving Throw, it can choose not to take the damage or suffer the effects of a Failed Save (or a successful one if there is an additional effect for successful Saves) until the beginning of the next round.  It may fight normally even at 0 or negative hit points.


Well, damn. That's crazy strong. _And I like that._




> *Wooly Ettercap*
> 
> ()
> 
> *Special Qualities:*    Low Light Vision
> 
> ()
> 
> *Feats:*               Cold Endurance, Great Fortitude, Multiattack





> The Wooly Ettercaps are a bizarre offshoot of regular Ettercaps that have adapted to life in arctic forests.  Their origin is unknown as the species is rare, and no one has as yet found a nest of them (or for that matter seen more than two at the same time). () [T]hey are covered in thick hairs that are colored to blend in with the snowy forests.


I think a little cold resistance or _at least_ letting them have Cold Endurance as a bonus feat would look good on a hairy creature explicitly adapted to live in colder environments than its parent species normally could.




> *Mimic, Concubine*
> 
> ()
> 
> *Skills:*               Bluff +7, Climb +8, Diplomacy +7, Disguise +15, Escape Artist +10, Gather Information +7, Hide +6, Knowledge (Local) +6, Listen +6, Move Silently +6, Sense Motive +6, Spot +6, Tumble +6


If my calculations are correct, these have four skill points not yet allocated and their Climb modifier should be a +12. Either that or they don't actually have a climb speed (I don't see the Climb bonus listed unders Skills). 




> *Adhesive (Ex):* Due to the Mimics sticky skin surface, it is considered to be Grappling anything successfully attacked by it's Slam/Bite attack.  An opponent so Grappled cannot escape until 5 rounds after the Mimic dies, it willingly lets go, or the adhesive is dissolved by applying strong alcohol.  Even without the adhesive the Mimic can Grapple normally.  Weapons striking the Mimic stick to it unless the wielder makes a DC 16 Reflex Save (or a DC 16 Strength Check once it has become stuck).


Are these static DCs?




> half mimic kids.


(Hm. Is there an official template for that kind of thing?)




> *The Beast of Blackwater Moors*
> 
> ()
> 
> *Alignment:*            Chaotic Neutral


Non-sapient creatures with no weird alignment-granting subtypes don't tend to have _actual_ alignment.




> *Regeneration (Ex):* Fire and acid deal normal damage to The Beast.


Oh, come on! Fire and acid? That's way too mainstream! (I'd probably do cold&acid or fire&electricity (given they are marshdwellers) or something crazy and random.)




> *Chicken Lord*


I smell an Elder Evil! (I'll probably go through the numbers later, but no promises; age categories (fitting as they are in this instance) are a pain.)

----------


## Bhu

> Any reason for it having a weaker bite than a sized-up gray would?
> 
> And I can't help but notice that it can't even rend. _It's called a render and it can't rend stuff!_
> 
> Now I'm sad. Gray render lore is one of the few pieces of official lore _that I absolutely love_.


I have got to stop editing these at 3 am...

I has fixed





> I think a little cold resistance or _at least_ letting them have Cold Endurance as a bonus feat would look good on a hairy creature explicitly adapted to live in colder environments than its parent species normally could.


 done






> If my calculations are correct, these have four skill points not yet allocated and their Climb modifier should be a +12. Either that or they don't actually have a climb speed (I don't see the Climb bonus listed unders Skills). 
> 
> Are these static DCs?
> 
> (Hm. Is there an official template for that kind of thing?)


 The skills were ok, I just forgot about the racial climb bonus (I have fixed).  They are static bonuses, because as far as I can  tell so were the original Mimics.  No official template, but I can put it on the to do list.





> Non-sapient creatures with no weird alignment-granting subtypes don't tend to have _actual_ alignment.


  There was a reason for this when I made it many long years ago, but I'm darned if I can remember it.

----------


## Metastachydium

> as far as I can  tell so were the original Mimics.


I'm fairly certain it's CON-based (DC's a 16 with 7 HD and a +3 CON modifier) and they just forgot to make that explicit. 




> No official template, but I can put it on the to do list.


Don't worry about it, I was just curious. If I'll ever need one, I can make it myself. Needless to say, if you want to put one together, I'm all for that and very certain it would end up wonderful.




> There was a reason for this when I made it many long years ago, but I'm darned if I can remember it.


Heh. Fair enough!

----------


## Bhu

*Vampire Squid*
Large Aberration (Aquatic)
*Hit Dice:* 12d8+60 (114 hp)
*Initiative:* +4
*Speed:* 40 ft. swim(8 squares)
*Armor Class:* 21 (-1 Size, +4 Dex, +8 Natural), touch 13, flat-footed 17
*Base Attack/Grapple:* +9/+19
*Attack:* Tentacle +14 melee (1d6+6)
*Full Attack:* 8 Tentacles +14 melee (1d6+6) and 1 Bite +12 melee (1d8+3)
*Space/Reach:* 10 ft./10 ft. (20 ft with tentacles)
*Special Attacks:* Improved Grab, Blood Drain
*Special Qualities:* Blindsight 120 ft., Vulnerability to Light, Poison Cloud, Partial Invisibility, Fast Healing 3, Immune to Cold
*Saves:* Fort +11, Ref +10, Will +10
*Abilities:* Str 23, Dex 18, Con 20, Int 15, Wis 15, Cha 14
*Skills:* Escape Artist +16, Knowledge (Arcana, The Planes, Things Man Was Not Meant to Know) +9, Listen +10, Move Silently +13, Search +10, Spot +10, Swim +18
*Feats:* Multiattack, Multigrab, Greater Multigrab, Great Fortitude, Lightning Reflexes
*Environment:* Cold Aquatic
*Organization:* Solitary, Hunting Pack (3-5), Mass Swarm (10-100)
*Challenge Rating:* 10 
*Treasure:* Standard
*Alignment:* Always Chaotic Evil
*Advancement:* 9-15 HD (Large), 16-25 HD (Huge)
*Level Adjustment:* ----


_"I...am sorry Paul.  I know your family fortune is in that wreck at the bottom of the trench.  But I can't go back down there.  I know what lives down there in the dark.  it took my arm, and I won't let it get the rest of me.  You'll have to find someone else.  And Paul? May the Gods protect you.  Even though they didn't do me much good..."_

The Beings referred to as Vampire Squid in some rare books live in the deepest parts of the ocean where there is never any light. They are one of the few things feared by the Anguilians and rightly so. They and their Sahuagin relatives refer to the 'squids' as "The Hungering Dark". Swarms of Vampire Squid have destroyed their cities. No one has ever really seen one, but the very, very rare victim to escape their clutches described it as being similar to wrestling with an Octopus except the flesh was more fluid and elastic, covered with what felt like hooked barbs and noxious boils. Vampire Squid have never attempted to communicate with anyone and it is unknown if they understand any form of language. For the most part they stay in the depths, other than rare feeding frenzy's which bring them closer to the surface.

*Improved Grab(Ex):* If a Vampire Squid hits an opponent of any size with its tentacle attack it may attempt to start a grapple as a free action without provoking an attack of opportunity. If it wins the Grapple attempt it may use its Blood Drain ability.

*Blood Drain (Ex):* If a Vampire Squid succeeds with its Improved Grab, it constricts with its tentacles. The barbs from the tentacles do 1d6+6 damage per round, and the mouths lining the tentacles drain 2 Con worth of blood per round as long as the Grapple is maintained

*Partial Invisibility (Ex):* The material that Vampire Squid are composed of renders it invisible to Dark Vision. They do not become visible when attacking. Combined with the lack of light in the areas it normally inhabits this usually makes it completely invisible. 

*Vulnerability to Light(Ex):* If exposed to even the tiniest amount of light the Vampire Squid begins to boil and rot away, losing 1d4 Con a round from something similar to torch light and taking double damage from all spells with the Light descriptor. A Daylight spell destroys it instantly. It is for this reason no one has ever truly described one. And unfortunately it also leads to other problems...

*Poison Cloud (Ex):* Whenever the Vampire Squid is exposed to Light or dies it begins to rot away turning into a thick poisonous cloud of oil that causes anything in it to bleed from its pores. Anything within 10 ft. of the Vampire Squid must make a DC 21 Fortitude Save (Save is Con based). Initial and Secondary Damage is 2d6 Constitution. The cloud lasts as long as the Squid is losing Con due to light exposure, and for 1d4 rounds thereafter.

*Skills:* A Vampire Squid receives a +10 Racial Bonus to Escape Artist checks, and a +8 Racial Bonus to Swim checks.  It may always Take 10 on a Swim check, and may use the Run Action while swimming in a straight line.

*Combat:* Vampire Squids immediately close to Grapple.  They flee immediately from light or any creature that puts up a serious fight.

----------


## Bhu

*Amanga Impisi* (False Hyena)
Medium Aberration
*Hit Dice:* 12d8+48 (102 hp)
*Initiative:* +6
*Speed:* 50 ft. (10 squares)
*Armor Class:* 20 (+2 Dex, +8 Natural), touch 12, flat-footed 18
*Base Attack/Grapple:* +9/+12
*Attack:* Bite +12 melee (1d6+3)
*Full Attack:* Bite +12 melee (1d6+3)
*Space/Reach:* 5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:* Madness Gaze, Spell-like abilities
*Special Qualities:* Alternate Form, Summon Pack, Regeneration 5, Damage Reduction 5/Good, Telepathy 100 ft., Scent, Dark Vision 60 ft., Immunities
*Saves:* Fort +8, Ref +6, Will +12
*Abilities:* Str 16, Dex 15, Con 18, Int 16, Wis 18, Cha 18
*Skills:* Bluff +9, Diplomacy +13, Hide +8, Intimidate +11, Knowledge (Arcana) +10, Knowledge (Nature) +5, Knowledge (Religion) +8, Knowledge (Things Man Was Not Meant To Know) +10, Listen +9, Move Silently +7, Search +8, Sense Motive +9, Spellcraft +10, Spot +9, Survival +7 (+9 to follow tracks)
*Feats:* Ability Focus (Madness Gaze), Track, Narrowed Gaze, Pervasive Gaze, Improved Initiative
*Environment:* Warm Deserts or Plains
*Organization:* Solitary or traveling with hyena pack
*Challenge Rating:* 9
*Treasure:* None
*Alignment:* Chaotic Evil
*Advancement:* 13-30 HD (Medium)
*Level Adjustment:* ---

_"We used to make sure the Hyenas never came near our villages.  We knew they were evil back then.  We knew what would happen.  But the young people these days, they've forgotten the old ways for money and material things.  And they think having the Hyenas as pets are a symbol of status.  Back in the old days I killed a Hyena out on the plains at night, and when it died it...changed.  I haven't slept much at nights since.  Especially since they've been bringing them into the city.  I know they're watching me.  Take this machete boy.  It's special.  When I die, you know what to use it for."_

The Amanga Impisi is a creature from the depths of space that arrived on the world many millennia ago. It has been confused with demons and other such creatures for a long time. The Amanga's goals appear to be uncertain, as they travel not with each other but with packs of Hyenas. It is rumored they feed on the fear and madness of mortal men, and work to disrupt societies and cause massive bloodshed. They appear as vaguely hyena like in shape with hooved feet. The skin is armor plated with fleshy tendrils of some kind running down the back and sides like some sort of perverse mane. The heavily armored head is much like a hyenas skull with split nostrils and random thornlike growths. The face is blood red turning to green near the mane, with the body mostly yellow. Inhabitants in areas populated by them tend to believe the Hyena is an evil creature. Amanga speak their own language.

*Madness Gaze (Su):* Become permanently Insane, range 30 ft., Willpower Save DC 22 Negates (Save is Charisma Based). If the Willpower Save is failed the victim acquires some sort of permanent insanity. In normal D&D this is Insanity, as per the spell.  See the Unearthed Arcana or D20 Call of Cthulhu for other examples of Insanity. The DM should pick one appropriate to the moment.

*Spell Like Abilities (Sp):* The Amanga can use various Spell-Like abilities as an 8th Level Caster.  They get five 1st Level, three 2nd Level, two 3rd Level, and one 4th Level spells.  They may choose any Divination, Enchantment or Illusion spells from the Sorcerer list.   They may use the 1st and 2nd Level spells 3/day, and the 3rd and 4th Level spells 1/day.

*Alternate Form (Su):* At will the Amanga can appear to be a normal Hyena. This is a Mind-Affecting Glamer effect, and has no effects on stats or abilities. Creatures unaffected by Glamers are immune to this ability and see the Amanga as it is. Turning this ability on or off is a free action, but it drops automatically if the Amanga Impisi attacks.

*Summon Pack (Su):* Once per day the Amanga can summon a pack of 8 Hyenas.  This works like the spell Summon Natures Ally V in all other respects. 

*Immunities (Ex):* The Amanga is immune to poison, paralysis, polymorph, sleep and death affects, and stunning.

*Combat:* The Amanga will stalk its prey in the bush for weeks slowly destroying its mind with its spell like abilities before using its gaze to drive it over the brink. After that it and the pack tear the victim apart.

Side note: Amanga means "lie" in Zulu. Impisi is their name for the Hyena.

----------


## Bhu

*Spectral Ape*
Large Magical Beast
*Hit Dice:* 6d10+18 (51 hp)
*Initiative:* +6
*Speed:* 40 ft. (8 squares), Climb 20 ft.
*Armor Class:* 15 (-1 size, +2 Dex, +4 natural), touch 11, flat-footed 13
*Base Attack/Grapple:* +6/+16
*Attack:* Slam +11 melee (1d6+6) or Rock +7 ranged (1d6+6)
*Full Attack:* 2 Slams +11 melee (1d6+6) and 1 Bite +6 melee (1d4+3) or or Rock +7 ranged (1d6+6)
*Space/Reach:* 10 ft./10 ft.
*Special Attacks:* Improved Grab, Constrict (2d6+6)
*Special Qualities:* Darkvision 60 ft., Low-light vision, Greater Invisibility
*Saves:* Fort +8, Ref +7, Will +3
*Abilities:* Str 23, Dex 14, Con 17, Int 5, Wis 12, Cha 5
*Skills:* Climb +14, Listen +4, Move Silently +5, Spot +4
*Feats:* Improved Initiative, Power Attack, Spectral SKirmisher*
*Environment:* Warm forests
*Organization:* Solitary, Hunting Party (3-6), Colony (10-20), or City (50-75)
*Challenge Rating:* 6
*Treasure:*  Standard
*Alignment:* Always neutral
*Advancement:* 7-12 HD (Large)
*Level Adjustment:* --

* see PHB2

_"We could hear them in the night.  That's when they came out, despite us not being able to see them.  We started getting picked off one by one, until we fled the jungles.  We went back in with a Wizard who claimed he could see the invisible.  Said we were just fighting apes.  Helped us fight them even, until something we couldn't see plucked him from the ground and crushed him like a grape 20 feet up in the air.  We won't go back now.  No matter what you or anyone else is willing to pay.  You want whats in that ruin it's yours.  I'll give you the map.  But my help ends there."_

In the Jungles of (insert name here) there is a legend that long ago a wizard was destroyed by his own creations, and that his former palace is now a rotting hulk, eaten by the jungle, and haunted by the remains of what he left behind. The truth is that there is a large fortress somewhere in the jungle, and it is haunted, not by apparitions, but by great apes that can walk unseen. When slain they appear, and are white, horribly malformed and misshapen gorilla like hominids. The apes are highly territorial, and omnivorous. They are smart enough to know that they are invisible, and are often quiet knowing that hearing and smell are the only ways most beings can find them. Adventurers will often blindly walk unawares into the entire colony of them.  Spectral Apes are similar in size to Dire Apes, and do not appear to be capable of speech despite their higher intelligence.

*Greater Invisibility (Su):* This ability is constant, allowing the Spectral Ape to remain Invisible even while attacking. It works like the spell Greater Invisibility, and lasts as long as the Spectral Ape is alive (it becomes visible 1 minute after death). This ability is not subject to Invisibility Purge.

*Improved Grab (Ex):* If a Spectral Ape hits with it's Slam attack it can make a Grapple Check as a Free Action without provoking an Attack of Opportunity. If successful it may Constrict the next round.

*Constrict (Ex):* The Spectral Ape does 2d6+6 with a successful Grapple check.

*Skills:* Spectral Apes have a +8 Racial Bonus to Climb checks, and may always take 10 on a Climb check even if rushed or threatened.

*Combat:* Spectral Apes go straight for the Grapple. Lock up with the victim and rip him to shreds. Sometimes if there are groups they'll fling rocks, but generally they like to be up close and personal

----------


## Bhu

*Spectral Dire Ape*
Huge Magical Beast
*Hit Dice:* 18d10+90 (189 hp)
*Initiative:* +5
*Speed:* 50 ft. (10 squares), Climb 30 ft.
*Armor Class:* 19 (-2 size, +1 Dex, +10 natural), touch 9, flat-footed 18
*Base Attack/Grapple:* +18/+36
*Attack:* Slam +26 melee (1d8+10) or Rock +17 ranged (2d8+10)
*Full Attack:* 2 Slams +26 melee (1d8+10) and 1 Bite +21 melee (1d6+5) or Rock +17 ranged (2d8+10)
*Space/Reach:* 15 ft./15 ft.
*Special Attacks:* Improved Grab, Constrict (2d8+10)
*Special Qualities:* Darkvision 60 ft., Low-light vision, Greater Invisibility
*Saves:* Fort +16, Ref +12, Will +7
*Abilities:* Str 31, Dex 12, Con 21, Int 5, Wis 12, Cha 5
*Skills:* Climb +18, Listen +8, Move Silently +8, Spot +8
*Feats:* Awesome Blow, Improved Bull Rush, Improved Initiative, Greater Multigrab, Multigrab, Power Attack, Spectral Skirmisher*
*Environment:* Warm forests
*Organization:* Solitary
*Challenge Rating:* 12
*Treasure:* Standard
*Alignment:* Always neutral
*Advancement:* 19-36 HD (Huge), 37-54 HD (Gargantuan)
*Level Adjustment:* --

* See Savage Species and PHB 2 for some Feats.

_ "I warned you not to go in there! I warned you! Now it's followed you back, and it'll get us all! Get off my land and don't come back you fools!  Go spend what time you have left regretting what you've done."_

Every so often there's a nasty mutation of sorts among the Spectral Apes. Or perhaps they just keep getting bigger with age. There are few recorded instances of s Spectral Dire Ape (possibly due to their invisibility), but slain specimens have been 20-30 feet tall.

*Greater Invisibility (Su):* This ability is constant, allowing the Spectral Dire Ape to remain Invisible even while attacking. It works like the spell Greater Invisibility, and lasts as long as the Spectral Dire Ape is alive (it becomes visible 1 minute after death). This ability is not subject to Invisibility Purge.

*Improved Grab (Ex):* If a Spectral Dire Ape hits with it's Slam attack it can make a Grapple Check as a Free Action without provoking an Attack of Opportunity. If successful it may Constrict the next round.

*Constrict (Ex):* The Spectral Ape does 2d8+10 with a successful Grapple check.

*Skills:* Spectral Dire Apes have a +8 Racial Bonus to Climb checks, and may always take 10 on a Climb check even if rushed or threatened.

*Combat:* Spectral Dire Apes go straight for the Grapple. Lock up with the victim and rip him to shreds. Usually one in each hand.

----------


## Bhu

*The Fly People*
                      Medium Aberration
*Hit Dice:*             5d8+35 (57 hp)
*Initiative:*           +9
*Speed:*                20 ft. (4 squares), Climb 20 ft., Fly 50 ft. (Good)
*Armor Class:*          23 (+5 Dex, +4 Natural, +4 Insight), touch 19, flat-footed 18
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +3/+11
*Attack:*               Bite +11 melee (1d8+8 plus disease)
*Full Attack:*          1 Bite +11 melee (1d8+8 plus disease) and 4 Claws +9 melee (1d6+4)
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Acid Vomit, Improved Grab
*Special Qualities:*    All-Around Vision, Scent, Droning Flight, Spider Climb, Danger Sense, Immune to Disease and Poison, Alien Mind, Darkvision 60 ft.
*Saves:*                Fort +8, Ref +10, Will +7
*Abilities:*            Str 26, Dex 20, Con 24, Int 8, Wis 16, Cha 4
*Skills:*               Balance +13, Climb +16, Hide +6, Intimidate +3, Listen +3, Search +4, Spot +7, Survival +11
*Feats:*                Hover, Multiattack, Multiweapon Fighting (B)
*Environment:*          Any
*Organization:*         Solitary, Group (3-6), or Swarm (10-100)
*Challenge Rating:*     7
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Usually Neutral Evil
*Advancement:*          By Character Class (favored Class is Rogue)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---


_"We don't go into the tunnels out by the old city anymore.  In my youth a couple of us wondered why it had been abandoned, and set off in the night to find out.  I'm the only one of us who made it back.  My arm wasn't cut off in the wars like I told you.  It was dissolved in the vomit of the thing we met there.  I'll never return near the old city again.  So forget the bets you made boy.  You can't go to that city.  Not for any amount of money..."_

The Fly People are hideous malformed Aberrations with 4 arms, stunted fly wings, and a massive fly-like head with dripping mouthparts.  They spread disease and death, and are considered by many to be a sign of ill omen, since where one is more will follow. Most worship evil deities or Fiends, and are unusually dedicated to spreading their faith, converting followers at sword point if necessary.  Despite their light build they are unusually strong, overpowering even Ogres in hand to hand fights.  The Fly People stand just over 6 feet tall, and speak their own language.  They have never made any indication of being able to understand the speech of other races, though they have to have some means of communicating with their cults.

*Disease (Ex):* Bite, Fortitude DC 19, Incubation period 1d3 days, Filth Fever, see DMG page 292.

*Acid Vomit (Ex):* Once every 1d4 rounds the Fly People may vomit acid on an opponent they have Pinned in a Grapple.  They are immune to damage from their own acid.  By making a successful Grapple check, the Fly people can do 2d6 Acid damage.  Each round for 1d6 rounds thereafter the victim takes an additional 1d6 acid damage unless he can wash the stuff off somehow.

*Improved Grab (Ex):* The Fly People can make a Grapple without provoking an Attack of Opportunity.

*All-Around Vision (Ex):* The Fly People cannot be flanked, and have a +4 Racial Bonus on all Search and Spot checks.

*Droning Flight (Ex):* The Fly People cannot make Move Silently checks while flying.

*Spider Climb (Ex):*  The Fly People may use Spider Climb at will (self only).

*Danger Sense (Ex):* The Fly People gain a +4 Racial Balance on Initiative checks, a +4 Insight Bonus to AC, and a +4 Racial Bonus to Reflex Saves.

*Alien Mind (Ex):* The Fly People gain a +4 Racial Bonus on all Saving Throws against Mind-Affecting effects.

*Skills*: The Fly People have a +8 Racial Bonus on Balance, Climb, and Survival checks. They may always Take 10 on a Climb or Balance check.

*Combat:* The Fly People will immediately close to Grapple so they can use their Acid Vomit, before biting and inflicting the character with disease.  They will then fly away and let the disease take its course, and weaken them.  They will attack again when the PC seems to  have weakened (they will be stalking him all the while).  If the PC's seem stubborn or disease resistant they will go all out for an assault, fleeing if they are reduced to half hp or less.

----------


## Bhu

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pope_Lick_Monster

https://cryptidz.fandom.com/wiki/Pope_Lick_Monster

https://www.onlyinyourstate.com/kent...ter-legend-ky/



*The Pope Lick Monster*
                      Medium Outsider (Evil, Extraplanar)
*Hit Dice:*             8d8+16 (52 hp)
*Initiative:*           +6
*Speed:*                30 ft. (6 squares)
*Armor Class:*          18 (+2 Dex, +6 Profane), touch 18, flat-footed 16
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +8/+10
*Attack:*               Battleaxe +11 melee (1d8+2/ x3) or Slam +10 melee (1d3+2)
*Full Attack:*          Battleaxe +11/+6 melee (1d8+2/ x3) or Slam +10 melee (1d3+2)
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Spell-Like Abilities
*Special Qualities:*    Darkvision 60 ft., Slow Fall, Leaper, DR 5/Good, Regeneration 2
*Saves:*                Fort +8, Ref +8, Will +8
*Abilities:*            Str 15, Dex 15, Con 15, Int 10, Wis 14, Cha 14
*Skills:*               Balance +6, Bluff +6, Climb +10, Concentration+6,  Craft (any 2) +4, Disable Device +6, Handle Animal +6, Hide +6, Intimidate +6, Knowledge (Arcane, History, Local, Nature, Religion, The Planes) +4, Jump +10, Listen +7, Move Silently +6, Open Lock +6, Search +4, Spellcraft +4, Spot +7, Survival +4, Use Magic Device +4
*Feats:*                Alertness, Improved Initiative, Weapon Focus (Battleaxe)
*Environment:*          Pope Lick, Kentucky
*Organization:*         Unique?
*Challenge Rating:*     5
*Treasure:*             Standard
*Alignment:*            Neutral Evil
*Advancement:*          9+ HD (Medium)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

"There are a lot of stories about how he came to be.  Many said he used to be a circus freak, or  escaped from a ghost train.  Others say he was a farmer who sacrificed goats to the Devil for power.  Despite this, he died and was resurrected as a monster.  Now he sacrifices people for even more power.  Don't go out to Pope Lick Creek trying to prove he exists.  You don't want to end u like the others."

The Pope Lick Monster is a deformed man with hairy goat legs, a white face, an aquiline nose and wide set eyes.  It has horns protruding from it's head, and long greasy hair.  It seems fairly hell bent on killing anyone it sees in it's territory, either pushing them off the trestle (or using it's powers to make them jump), or leaping down to attack passing vehicles.

*Spell-Like Abilities (Sp):* At Will: Cause Fear, Ghost Sound, Hypnotism, Ventriloquism  3/Day: Command  1/Day: Fear, Suggestion

*Slow Fall (Ex):* The Pope Lick Monster can fall any distance without harm.

*Leaper (Ex):* Jump Check DC's for the Pope Lick Monster are not doubled if it does not have a running start, or for moving less than 30 feet.

*Regeneration (Ex):* The Pope Lick Monster take normal damage from good-aligned weapons or beings, and spells or effects with the good descriptor. If it loses a piece of its body regrows it in 2d6×10 minutes. Holding the severed member against the stump enables it to reattach instantly. 

*Skills:* The Pope Lick Monster has a +8 Racial Bonus on Jump Checks.  It also has a +4 Racial Bonus on Balance and Climb Checks.

*Combat:* The Monster usually tries to get victims to kill themselves with his magical powers.  Failing that he rushes in with his axe.

----------


## Metastachydium

> *Vampire Squid*
> 
> ()
> 
> *Armor Class:* 21 (-1 Size, +4 Dex, +8 Natural), touch 13, flat-footed 19


FF should be 17.




> *Attack:* Tentacle +14 melee (1d6+6)
> *Full Attack:* 8 Tentacles +14 melee (1d6+6) and 1 Bite +12 melee (1d8+3)
> *Space/Reach:* 10 ft./10 ft. (20 ft with tentacles)


_Squid_ is a bit of a misnomer, apparently; actual squids have 8 arms _and_ 2 tentacles for a total of 10 appendages.




> They are one of the few things feared by the Anguilians and rightly so. They and their Sahuagin relatives refer to the 'squids' as "The Hungering Dark". Swarms of Vampire Squid have destroyed their cities.


(If I were a D&D vampire mollusk thing, I'd sure prefer eating aquatic elves/merfolk/aventi to preying on sahuagins. Sahuagins look too cute to die!)




> *Amanga Impisi* (False Hyena)
> 
> ()
> 
> *Skills:* Bluff +9, Diplomacy +9, Hide +8, Intimidate +9, Knowledge (Arcana) +10, Knowledge (Religion) +8, Knowledge (Things Man Was Not Meant To Know) +10, Listen +9, Move Silently +7, Search +8, Sense Motive +9, Spellcraft +8, Spot +9, Survival +7


The damn thing has a lot of skill points left to allocate (13, to be specific, after synergies are factored in).




> *Combat:* The Amanga will stalk its prey in the bush for weeks slowly destroying its mind with its spell like abilities before using its gaze to drive it over the brink. After that it and the pack tear the victim apart.
> 
> Side note: Amanga means "lie" in Zulu. Impisi is their name for the Hyena.


Shouldn't the shortened version of the name be _Impisi_, then? Calling it an Amanga is like shortening False Hyena to False.




> *Spectral Ape*
> 
> ()
> 
> *Base Attack/Grapple:* +6/+12


Thing's Large, it should have a +16 for grapple.




> Rock +7 ranged (1d6)
> *Full Attack:* 2 Slams +11 melee (1d6+6) and 1 Bite +6 melee (1d4+3) or or Rock +7 ranged (1d6)


This is ultimately a thrown weapon, right? Shouldn't it add its STR to the damage roll?




> *Greater Invisibility:* This ability is constant, allowing the Spectral Ape to remain Invisible even while attacking. It works like the spell Greater Invisibility, and lasts as long as the Spectral Ape is alive (it becomes visible 1 minute after death). This ability is not subject to Invisibility Purge.
> 
> *Improved Grab:* If a Spectral Ape hits with it's Slam attack it can make a Grapple Check as a Free Action without provoking an Attack of Opportunity. If successful it may Constrict the next round.
> 
> *Constrict:* The Spectral Ape does 2d6+6 with a successful Grapple check.


Looks like you forgot to add the Ex/Su tags to SAs/SQs. Same goes for the dire one below. (I know, I know, it's not a big deal, but I'm a hair-splitting pedant like that.)




> *Spectral Dire Ape*
> 
> *Full Attack:* 2 Slams +26 melee (1d8+10) and 1 Bite +21 melee (1d6+3) or Rock +17 ranged (2d8+10)


The bite should have a +5 to damage (copy/paste, the bane of all statblocks!).




> *The Fly People*
> 
> ()
> 
> *Level Adjustment:*     +10?


Heh. Man, that's overkill. I'd _almost_ say it's overkill even by WotC standards were it not for the silit. But seriously, nymphs get RHD+1st level druid casting, an at-will ranged stunning attack, a free action, at-will area debuff and their best stat to AC and all saves, and they still get a lower ECL _and_ a lower LA in its composition.




> *The Pope Lick Monster*
> 
> ()
> 
> *Attack:*               Battleaxe +10 melee (1d8+2/19-20, x3) or Slam +10 melee (1d3+2)
> *Full Attack:*          Battleaxe +10/+5 melee (1d8+2/19-20, x3) or Slam +10 melee (1d3+2)
> 
> ()
> 
> *Feats:*                Alertness, Improved Critical (Battleaxe), Improved Initiative


While it technically qualifies for Improved Critical with its +8 BAB, it doesn't get a feat slot at that HD to actually add it.




> *Skills:*               Balance +6, Climb +10, Hide +6, Intimidate +6, Knowledge (Arcane, Local, Nature, Religion) +4, Jump +10, Listen +7, Move Silently +6, Spot +7, Survival +4


I'm counting Some 48 skill points not spent? What's that about?




> *Leaper (Ex):* Jump Checks for the Pope Lick Monster are not doubled if it does not have a running start, or for moving less than 30 feet.


Surely, you mean Jump check _DCs_ there!

(♣
Nice flavour texts all around, by the way. The hyena's would be my personal favourite.)

----------


## Bhu

I was kinda pressed for time getting entries revised this week.  I'll fix it shortly, right now I'm sick as hell.

----------


## Metastachydium

> I was kinda pressed for time getting entries revised this week.  I'll fix it shortly, right now I'm sick as hell.


No rush & get better fast!

----------


## Bhu

> _Squid_ is a bit of a misnomer, apparently; actual squids have 8 arms _and_ 2 tentacles for a total of 10 appendages.


  It's not really a squid, it's just called that cause it's effectively invisible, and given that it's deep sea that's where their imaginations went.






> Heh. Man, that's overkill. I'd _almost_ say it's overkill even by WotC standards were it not for the silit. But seriously, nymphs get RHD+1st level druid casting, an at-will ranged stunning attack, a free action, at-will area debuff and their best stat to AC and all saves, and they still get a lower ECL _and_ a lower LA in its composition.


 That was a little bit of a joke on my part, that thing has so much stuff  I can't see it being playable.
Fixed all the oopsies, readying this weeks critters now.

----------


## Bhu

*Fur Angel*
                      Tiny Outsider (Chaos, Good, Extraplanar)
*Hit Dice:*             3d8 (13 hp)
*Initiative:*           +3
*Speed:*                20 ft. (4 squares), Fly 50 ft. (Good)
*Armor Class:*          20 (+2 Size, +3 Dex, +5 Natural), touch 15, flat-footed 17
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +3/-5
*Attack:*               Claw +8 melee (1d4)
*Full Attack:*          2 Claws +8 melee (1d4)
*Space/Reach:*          2 1/2 ft./0 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Spell-Like Abilities
*Special Qualities:*    Protective Aura, DR 5/Evil, Darkvision 60 ft., Fast Healing 2, Immune to Petrification, Cold Resistance 5
*Saves:*                Fort +3, Ref +6, Will +4
*Abilities:*            Str 10, Dex 17, Con 10, Int 10, Wis 12, Cha 14
*Skills:*               Diplomacy +8, Hide +17, Knowledge (any one) +5, Listen +7, Move Silently +9, Search +6, Spellcraft +6, Spot +7, Tumble +4
*Feats:*                Dodge, Weapon Finesse
*Environment:*          A Chaotic Good Aligned Plane
*Organization:*         Solitary
*Challenge Rating:*    2
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Chaotic Good
*Advancement:*          4-6 HD (Tiny)
*Level Adjustment:*     --- (Improved Familiar, Level 7)

"Honey, what the Hell is that?"

"It's a monkey kitten princess angel."

"I hadda ask...what's it for?"

"Emotional support?  Marital advice maybe.  She also bakes a mean cookie."

Fur Angels look like a combination of monkey and kitten, with little bird wings.  They are usually dressed in  a sparkling white dress and tiara.  Their origin is unknown, but it's believed the Angels saw Imps on the Prime Material wreaking havoc, and decided they needed a counter for that.  Unfortunately, while well meaning, Fur Angels are shenanigans prone.  So much so, that they make Solars teeth itch.

*Spell-Like Abilities (Sp):* AT Will: Detect Evil, Detect Magic, Invisibility (self only).  1/Day: Heroism.  1/Week: Commune 9can ask 6  questions).  Caster level is 6th (12th for Commune).  

*Protective Aura (Su):* Against attacks made or effects created by evil creatures, this ability provides a +2 deflection bonus to AC and a +2 resistance bonus on saving throws to anyone within 20 feet of the Fur Angel, and no nongood summoned creatures can enter the area.  This aura can be dispelled, but the Fur Angel can create it again as a free action on its next turn. (The defensive benefits from the circle are not included in an Fur Angels statistics block.)

*Combat:* Fur Angels rarely enter combat, preferring to remain invisible and buff their master.

----------


## Bhu

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Manananggal

https://mythus.fandom.com/wiki/Manananggal

https://www.philippine-tales.com/cre...ggal#gsc.tab=0

https://medium.com/the-hyphenated-fi...s-d676b207aedf

https://cryptidz.fandom.com/wiki/Manananggal

*Manananggal*

Manananggal is an Acquired Template that can be applied to any Humanoid.  Manananggal are a type of Aswang from Filipino folklore, and usually appear as beautiful women.  Most stories also portray them as older women, or light skinned with long hair.  When night comes the creature smears it's body with a special oil.  This causes it to grow enormous, batlike wings, a long tubular tongue (some say it has a sharp point, some don't), and vicious fangs and claws.  It's body also separates at the waist, and it must hide it's lower half while it hunts.  It uses it's tongue to suck out the entrails of sleeping pregnant women, along with their unborn child.  They also are said to feed on the phlegm of the sick and the organs of groomsmen (in some stories the former human women were said to be abandoned at the altar).  In some stories they smell awful in their true form.

Their origin varies from place to place.  In one instance the Mananggal is a familial position.  The would be monster swallows a black chick, which slowly devours her entrails while keeping her alive, eventually making her a monster.  When she eventually grows too weak to feed, she passes the chick from her mouth to that of a relative.  In such cases it is said the woman can be cured by hanging her upside down and spinning her until she vomits up the bird.  Another story says one can become a Manananggal by rubbing special oils on one's skin while reciting  a particular chant, and holding the egg of a black chicken underneath the armpit until it disappears.  In some stories it is a genderless being living in the jungles by day, and hunting at night (occasionally making itself resemble a man or woman to lure prey).  In others it is a witch practicing black magic.

They are also called Tik-Tiks or Wakwaks after the sound their wings make (though in some stories this is the name of a vampiric bird servant).  They are also said to use the Sigbin as familiars as well.

*Size and Type:* Size is unchanged, Type changes to Monstrous Humanoid.  

*Hit Dice:* All current and future Hit Dice become d8's, unless they are already higher.. 

*Speed:* When undergoing it's Nightly Transformation, the creature gains a Fly speed of 70 (Average) and it's Land speed drops to 10 ft.

*Armor Class:* The base creatures natural armor bonus improves by +6.

*Attacks:* When undergoing it's Nightly Transformation, the base creature gains a Primary Claw Attack, and a Secondary Bite attack (it gets 2 Claws and 1 Bite with a Full Attack).  BAB is equal to Hit Dice.

*Damage:* The creatures natural attacks do 1d4 damage if Small, 1d6 if Medium and 1d8 if Large.

*Special Attacks:* Retains all Special Attacks of the base creature, plus gains the following:

Tongue (Ex): The Manananggal has a long tongue that it uses to feed on sleeping victims while perched on their roof.  It can extend 15 feet per round, to a total length of 40 feet.  The creature can apparently see through this tongue effectively, as it always seems to know how to get to it's victim.  When it attacks it's victim with the tongue (a melee touch attack) the victim gets an Opposed Level Check (1d20 plus 1/2 Hit Dice plus Charisma) to wake up, and another Check each round the Manananggal feeds from it.  If the victim awakes, it withdraws it's tongue at a rate of 15 feet per round.

Devour Life (Ex): Each round the Mananaggal's tongue successfully attacks, the victim takes 1d4 Constitution Drain, and the Manananggal gains 5 temporary hit points.

*Special Qualities:* Retains all Special Qualities of the base creature, plus gains the following:

Damage Reduction (Su): The base creature gains DR 10/Magic. This DR doesn't work against daggers, spears made of pointed bamboo or whips made from the tail of a stingray.

Fast Healing (Ex): The Manananggal heals 5 points of damage each round so long as it has at least 1 hit point.

Deceptive Appearance (Su): The Manananggal appears perfectly human(oid) when not transformed, and spells that would normally reveal it's true nature must succeed in an Opposed Caster Level Check to work (the Manananggal's Cater Level is equal to it's Hit Dice for purposes of this ability).  Touching any item listed in it's vulnerabilities (except daggers or bright light) automatically reveals the Manananggal.


Nightly Transformation (Ex): As a Full  Round Action the Manananggal splits at the waist, with it's top half becoming a bat winged monster.

Darkvision 60 ft.

Scent 

Vulnerabilities (Ex):Manananggal cannot tolerate the strong odor of garlic and will not enter an area laced with it. Similarly, they recoil from holy water, large crustaceans, onions, raw rice, burning rubber, bright light, salt, vinegar, spices, ash, and the tails of stingrays. These things dont harm the Manananggal they merely keep it at bay. A recoiling Manananggal must stay at least 5 feet away from a creature holding the items and cannot touch or make melee attacks against the creature holding the item for the rest of the encounter. Holding a Manananggal  at bay takes a standard action.

Reducing a Manananggal's hit points to 0 or lower incapacitates it but does not kill it.  To kill it, you must find it's bottom half after it has undergone it's Nightly Transformation, and rub it with vinegar, garlic, spices, ash or salt.  The Manananggal will not be able to rejoin it's two halves, and die when it is touched by sunlight.  Optionally you may also hide the lower half, and  it will still die if sunlight touches it.  The creature will have to hide from the sun until it finds it's lower body or perish.

*Saves:* The Manananggal gain a +2 Profane Bonus to all saving throws.

*Abilities:* Str +4, Dex +4, Con +4, Int +2, Wis +4, Cha +4.
*
Skills:* Manananggal have a +8 racial bonus on Bluff, Hide, Listen, Move Silently, Search, Sense Motive, and Spot checks.
*
Feats:* Manananggal gain Alertness, Combat Reflexes, Dodge, Improved Initiative, and Lightning Reflexes, assuming the base creature meets the prerequisites and doesnt already have these feats. 

*Environment:* Warm Forest or unchanged.

*Organization:* Solitary or Family (2-6)

*Challenge Rating:* +2

*Treasure:* Unchanged

*Alignment:* Usually Chaotic Evil, but can vary

*Advancement:* By Character Class, usually Wizard

*Level Adjustment:*+6

Example of creature using template here:

*Lestari*  (Human Wizard 4, Manananggal)
                      Medium Monstrous Humanoid
*Hit Dice:*             4d8+12 (30 hp)
*Initiative:*           +6
*Speed:*                30 ft. (6 squares)
*Speed (transformed):* 10 ft. (2 squares), Fly 70 ft. (Good)
*Armor Class:*          18 (+2 Dex, +6 Natural), touch 12, flat-footed 16
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +4/+6
*Attack:*               Club +6 melee (1d6+2)
*Full Attack:*          Club +6 melee (1d6+2)
*Attack (transformed):*               Claw+6 melee (1d6+2)
*Full Attack (transformed):*          2 Claws +6 melee (1d6+2) and 1 Bite +1 melee (1d6+1)
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Tongue, Devour Life, Spells
*Special Qualities:*    Cat Familiar, DR 10/Magic, Fast Healing 5, Deceptive Appearance, Nightly Transformation, Darkvision 60 ft., Scent, Vulnerabilities
*Saves:*                Fort +6, Ref +7, Will +9
*Abilities:*            Str 14, Dex 14, Con 16, Int 17, Wis 17, Cha 18
*Skills:*               Bluff +12, Concentration +8, Craft (any 2) +7, Decipher Script +8,  Hide +10, Knowledge (Arcana, History, Local, Religion) +8, Listen +13, Move Silently +10 (+13 with Familiar), Search +11, Snse Motive +11, Spellcraft +8, Spot +13
*Feats:*                Greater Spell Focus (Necromancy), Spell Focus (Necromancy), Alertness (B), Combat Reflexes (B), Dodge (B), Improved Initiative (B), Lightning Reflexes (B), Quicken Spell (B), Scribe Scroll (B)
*Challenge Rating:*     6
*Treasure:*             Standard
*Alignment:*            Chaotic Evil

"There was a young woman in our village named Lestari, which means 'everlasting'.  If only we knew what an omen that was.  She was beautiful, and would have been married were it not for her auntie Hitam chasing suitors away.  Hitam means 'black', and it was fitting as everyone knew Hitam practiced black magic.  We should have cast her out years ago, but everyone had used her skills for personal revenge.  She knew all our secrets, and none of us dared speak up."

"That was the way things stayed until the war of independence.  Our village got crushed, and even Hitam didn't have enough power to kill all the enemy.  She tried anyway, and  as she lay dying she called for Lestari.  Upon arrival, Lestari began weeping, and kissed her dying auntie.  Something crawled up Hitam's throat, and down Lestari's.  She's more of a terror now than her auntie ever was.  We don't even dare look at her for fear she'll kill us.  We didn't come to the city to trade vegetables.  We're here to disappear.  To fade away and hide behind the masses.  At least until she has her revenge and the killing stops.  Her auntie took payment for services, but Lestari wants meat.  Especially the meat of women in your condition.  When you came to the village I knew you'd be dead if I didn't get you out.  I need to go out now.  Remember to always wear the stingray tails.  She can't touch you with them on."

----------


## Bhu

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vampir...nd_watermelons

https://occult-world.com/vampire-pumpkin/

https://mediorientedintorni.com/inde...lkans/?lang=en

*Vampire Fruit*
                      Tiny Undead
*Hit Dice:*             1d12 (6 hp)
*Initiative:*           +0
*Speed:*                10 ft. (2 squares)
*Armor Class:*          15 (+2 Size, +3 Natural), touch 12, flat-footed 15
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +0/-
*Attack:*               -
*Full Attack:*          -
*Space/Reach:*          2 1/2 ft./0 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Harbinger of Doom!
*Special Qualities:*    Blind, Blindsight 30 ft., +2 Turn Resistance, Cold Resistance 5, Fast Healing 2, DR 5/Silver, Mindless, undead traits, vulnerabilities
*Saves:*                Fort +0, Ref +0, Will +2
*Abilities:*            Str 6, Dex 10, Con -, Int -, Wis 11, Cha 9
*Skills:*               Disguise -1 (+7 to pretend to be a fruit), Hide +8, Move Silently +4
*Feats:*                Ability Focus (Harbinger of Doom!)(B)
*Environment:*          Any Warm or Temperate Land
*Organization:*         Solitary or Patch (10-100)
*Challenge Rating:*     1/2
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral Evil
*Advancement:*          2 HD (Small)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

"That's the third Drekavac we've killed this week.  Someone go check the garden for vampires."

The muslim Roma of the Balkans have many vampire legends.  Aside from humans, farm animals, farming tools left out in the light of the full moon, squash, pumpkins and watermelon can become vampires.  If ground fruit is kept more than ten days, the fruit will begin to 'fight each other', and begin shaking and growling.  once a blood-like spot appears (which may be full of small, white worms), the fruit is a vampire.  This transformation can also occur if the fruit is left outside in the full moon, or not eaten before Christmas.  Some also say it can occur if the fruit is used as a syphon when ripe and dry, and remains unopened for 3 years.  Once this transformation occurs, they roll about the farm causing mischief.  Vampire fruit cause a lingering malaise, and can attract evil spirits.

*Harbinger of Doom! (Su):* A living creature within 30 feet of a Vampire Fruit must succeed a DC 12 Will save or suffer a -2 penalty on all saving throws for the next minute. A creature that succeeds its save is immune to the aura of malaise of that vampire pumpkin for the next 24 hours.  Save DC is Wisdom based.  If a creature fails this Save three times in a week, it must make a second Saving Throw or become Fatigued for 1 week.  If it fails 3 more Saves in this time it becomes Exhausted for a week.  Evil beings within this 30 foot aura receive the benefits of a Protection from Good spell, and Evil aligned creatures within one mile can automatically sense a fruits location.

*Blind (Ex):* Vampire Fruit are immune to gaze attacks, visual effects, illusions, and other attack forms that rely on sight.

*Vulnerabilities:* To kill a vampire fruit, it must be boiled into pulp, the remains swept up with a broom, and then the broom must be burned.

*Skills:* The Vampire Fruit has a +8 Racial Bonus on Disguise Checks meant to pretend to be a normal fruit.  They also have a +4 Racial Bonus on Move Silently Checks.

*Combat;* Vampire Fruit generally growls a warning, or flees.

----------


## Bhu

*SPECTRAL SWARM*

Spectral Swarm is an Acquired Template that can be added to any Aberration, Animal, Magical Beast, or Vermin Swarm.  Spectral Swarms are free roaming magically created guardians. Most outlive their creators and become randomly traveling destroyers, eating all in their path afterwards.

*Size and Type:* The base creatures type changes to undead. Do not recalculate the base creatures base attack bonus, saves, or skill points. It gains the Incorporeal Subtype. Size is unchanged.

*Hit Dice:* All current and future Hit Dice become d12's, and hit points are recalculated.

*Speed:* Spectral Swarms have a Fly Speed of 50, unless the base creature already has a better flight speed, with Perfect maneuverability,.  

*Armor Class:* Loses Natural Armor Bonus to AC (if any), except against Ethereal opponents.

*Attacks:* A Spectral Swarm retains all the attacks of the Base Creature, but those relying on physical contact do not effect creatures that aren't ethereal.  BAB is unchanged.

*Damage:* Against ethereal creatures, the Spectral Swarm attacks normally. Against non ethereal targets the Spectral Swarm usually cant physically damage them but can use special attacks (see below). When using its Swarm attack it does negative energy damage instead of physical damage against non ethereal targets.

*Special Attacks:* A Spectral Swarm retains all the Special Attacks of the base creature, but those relying on physical contact cannot effect non ethereal creatures. The Spectral Swarm also gains the following:

Consume Swarm (Su): When a Spectral Swarm kills a Swarm of the same type as it's Base Creature (i.e. if a Spectral Spider Swarm kills a Spider Swarm) it adds that Swarms Hit Dice to it's own total 1d4 days later. Each time a new swarm is absorbed increase the Spectral Swarms Area by 5 feet.  Remember to increase Swarm Damage as it gains the appropriate amount of Hit Dice.

*Special Qualities:* A Spectral Swarm retains all Special Qualities of the Base Creature, plus all of the following:

Dawn Flight (Ex): When the sun rises at dawn, a Spectral Swarm cannot cross over from the Ethereal Plane. Instead of being Incorporeal beings stuck between the Prime and Ethereal, they shift fully into the ethereal and cannot manifest again until nightfall.

Turn Immunity (Ex): Spectral Swarms are Immune to Turn/Rebuke Undead attempts.

Unnatural Aura (Su): Animals will not come within 100 ft. of a Spectral Swarm, and Panic if forced to do so (they remain Panicked so long as the Spectral Swarm is within Range).

Lifesense (Su): Spectral Swarms may automatically sense Living creatures within 100 ft. as thought they had Blindsight. They also automatically know the strength of their life force as if they had cast Deathwatch.

*Saves:* Saves remain unchanged except for changes due to new stats.

*Abilities:* +4 Dex, +4 Cha (minimum Charisma of 10. If it is below 10, raise it to 10). Spectral Swarms have no Strength or Constitution Score.

*Skills:* Spectral Swarms have a +8 Racial Bonus to Hide, Intimidate, Listen, Move Silently, Search, and Spot checks.

*Feats:* Spectral Swarms gain no Bonus Feats.

*Environment:* Any, often as Base Creature

*Organization:* Unchanged.

*Challenge Rating:* +2

*Treasure:* Unchanged.

*Alignment:* Always Neutral Evil.

*Advancement:* Depends on how many Swarms it can Consume (see above).

*Level Adjustment:* n/a

Example of creature using template here:

"Back in the old days we had locust problems every year. The famines they caused were horrible. Babies died in their cribs, while the cattle died in the fields. It was like the bugs were possessed.  Like they wouldn't stop until we all starved to death.

And one day a man named Alister came to town with his young apprentice. He claimed to be a Wizard, and said for a fee he could fix our problem. We paid him half and the locusts didn't appear the next day. When he came to collect the last half he said he wanted more, or the locusts would come back. We agreed. And then tried to kill him in his sleep. He escaped, his apprentice didn't. Or should I say, his son didn't.

The town was terrified when he told us who the boy really was. We waited weeks for his revenge. Then months. When it didn't come we hoped he'd moved on. And then the locusts came back. At least we thought they were locusts at first. But they didn't eat crops anymore..."

*The Swarm* (Advanced Locust Swarm/Spectral Swarm)
Diminutive Undead
*Hit Dice:* 27d12 (175 hp)
*Initiative:* +6
*Speed:* Fly 50 ft. (10 squares), perfect
*Armor Class:* 20 (+4 Size, +6 Dex), touch 20, flat-footed 14
*Base Attack/Grapple:* +20/-
*Attack:* Swarm (5d6 negative energy damage)
*Full Attack:* Swarm (5d6 negative energy damage)
*Space/Reach:* 30 ft./0 ft.
*Special Attacks:* Distraction, Consume Swarm
*Special Qualities:* Dark Vision 60 ft., Immune to weapon damage, swarm traits, Dawn Flight, Turn Immunity, Lifesense, Unnatural Aura
*Saves:* Fort +15, Ref +16, Will +9
*Abilities:* Str -, Dex 25, Con -, Int -, Wis 10, Cha 10
*Skills:* Hide +27, Intimidate +8, Listen +8, Move Silently +8, Search +8, Spot +8
*Feats:* ---
*Environment:* Temperate Plains
*Organization:* Solitary
*Challenge Rating:* 13
*Treasure:* None
*Alignment:* Neutral Evil
*Advancement:* Varies
*Level Adjustment:* --


*Consume Swarm (Su):* When a Spectral Swarm kills a Swarm of the same type as it's Base Creature (i.e. if a Spectral Spider Swarm kills a Spider Swarm) it adds that Swarms Hit Dice to it's own total 1d4 days later. Each time a new swarm is absorbed increase the Spectral Swarms Area by 5'.

*Dawn Flight (Ex):* When the sun rises at dawn, a Spectral Swarm cannot cross over from the Ethereal Plane. Instead of being Incorporeal beings stuck between the Prime and Ethereal, they shift fully into the ethereal and cannot manifest again until nightfall.

*Distraction (Ex):* Any living creature vulnerable to swarm damage within The Swarm's area of effect must make a DC 23 Fortitude Save or be Nauseated 1 round.  Using skills that involve patience or concentration require a DC 20 Concentration check.  Casting or concentrating on spells requires a Concentration check (DC 20+spell level).

*Unnatural Aura (Su):* Animals will not come within 100' of a Spectral Swarm, and Panic if forced to do so (they remain Panicked so long as the Spectral Swarm is within Range).

*Lifesense (Su):* Spectral Swarms may automatically sense Living creatures within 100' as thought they had Blindsight. They also automatically know the strength of their life force as if they had cast Deathwatch.

*Combat:* The Swarm isn't subtle. It charges the nearest creature and attacks it until it dies. Rinse, Repeat. Given a chance it'll devour everything it can before the sun causes it to retreat.

----------


## Bhu

*Waraikumo* (main form)
                      Medium Outsider (Chaos, Evil, Extraplanar, Shapechanger)
*Hit Dice:*             16d8+144 (216 hp)
*Initiative:*           +9
*Speed:*                30 ft. (6 squares), Climb 30 ft.
*Armor Class:*          29 (+9 Dex, +10 Natural), touch 19, flat-footed 20
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +16/+20
*Attack:*               Slapstick +28 melee (1d6+7) or Touch +25 melee touch (1d6+4 plus poison) 
*Full Attack:*          Slapstick +28/+23/+18 melee (1d6+7) or 2 Touches +25 melee touch (1d6+4 plus poison)
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Spell-Like Abilities, Poison, Throw Spider, Split
*Special Qualities:*    DR 10/Good and Magic, Darkvision 60 ft., Telepathy 100 ft., SR 28, Immunities, Carnivorous Healing, Shapechanger
*Saves:*                Fort +19, Ref +19, Will +14
*Abilities:*            Str 19, Dex 29, Con 29, Int 18, Wis 18, Cha 24
*Skills:*               Balance +15, Bluff +20, Climb +17, Concentration +20, Diplomacy +20, Disguise +20 (+22 acting), Gather Information +13, Hide +20, Intimidate +19, Jump +20, Knowledge (Arcana, History, Local, Religion, The Planes) +14, Listen +14, Move Silently +20, Perform +20, Search +14, Sense Motive +15, Spellcraft +16 (+18 scrolls), Spot +14, Tumble +20, Use Magic Device +17 (+19 scrolls)
*Feats:*                Combat Expertise, Combat Reflexes, Dodge, Mobility, Spring Attack, Weapon Finesse
*Environment:*          Any
*Organization:*         Unique?
*Challenge Rating:*     17
*Treasure:*             Standard
*Alignment:*            Chaotic Evil
*Advancement:*          17+ HD (Medium)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---



*Waraikumo* (swarm form)
                      Diminutive Outsider (Chaos, Evil, Extraplanar, Shapechanger)
*Hit Dice:*             16d8+144 (216 hp)
*Initiative:*           +9
*Speed:*                20 ft. (4 squares), Climb 20 ft.
*Armor Class:*          29 (+4 Size, +9 Dex, +6 Natural), touch 23, flat-footed 20
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +16/-
*Attack:*               Swarm (4d6 plus Poison)
*Full Attack:*          Swarm (4d6 plus Poison)
*Space/Reach:*          10 ft./0 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Distraction, Spell-Like Abilities, Poison, Reform
*Special Qualities:*    DR 10/Good and Magic, Darkvision 60 ft., Telepathy 100 ft., SR 28, Immunities, Carnivorous Healing, Immune to Weapon Damage, Swarm traits
*Saves:*                Fort +19, Ref +19, Will +14
*Abilities:*            Str 3, Dex 29, Con 29, Int 18, Wis 18, Cha 24
*Skills:*               Hide +32


*Spider*
                      Diminutive Outsider (Chaos, Evil, Extraplanar, Shapechanger)
*Hit Dice:*             2d8+4 (13 hp)
*Initiative:*           +2
*Speed:*                20 ft. (4 squares), Climb 20 ft.
*Armor Class:*          16 (+4 Size, +2 Dex), touch 16, flat-footed 14
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +2/-14
*Attack:*               Bite +8 melee (1d3-4) plus Poison)
*Full Attack:*          Bite +8 melee (1d3-4) plus Poison)
*Space/Reach:*          1 ft./0 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Poison
*Special Qualities:*     DR 5/Good and Magic, Darkvision 60 ft., Telepathy 100 ft., Immunities, Carnivorous Healing
*Saves:*                Fort +5, Ref +5, Will +3
*Abilities:*            Str 3, Dex 15, Con 15, Int 5, Wis 11, Cha 11
*Skills:*               Climb +10, Hide +14, Jump +10, Listen +5, Move Silently +7, Search +2, Spot +5, Tumble +7
*Feats:*                Weapon Finesse

"You are correct when you say I do not care for the Italians.  When we signed the Treaty of Commerce and Friendship with them in 1866, a delegation was sent to their country to work out further details.  I was with them, as a bodyguard.  They held quite the decadent celebration for us, and we were both delighted and appalled at all we beheld.  Particularly the strange comedic plays they performed, so unlike our own kyogen.  I couldn't follow them between the language barrier and cultural differences.  I gathered from a translator  that it was the story of a servant named Harlequin, and his rival Pierrot.  Apparently this Harlequin had some sort of magical ability to influence the world around him, which he used to pursue women and work various mischief.  I found these plays, and everything else about the country tiresome."

"And then Hiroshi, the head of the delegation, disappeared.  We last saw him inquiring about meeting the actor who played the Harlequin.  When he hadn't been found after a swift search, we asked the theatre owner for the actors address.  We didn't find Hiroshi, but we found Hanzo, his personal guard.  Or more accurately, we found what was left of him.  The local men looked dismayed, but not surprised.  I knew they realized what had happened, but fear kept them silent.  Our government was offered much silver as an apology, and a promise that if the Harlequin was caught, he would be turned over to us for justice."

"It was an obvious lie meant to soothe us.  The local Omawarisan did not inspire faith in their abilities.  I received permission to stay behind, and a modest stipend to finance me.  I threw myself into research about the Italian theatre, and it's current actors.  The trickster Harlequin was based on a much older French character named Hellequin, who was a servant of demons.  The more I looked into the plays past, the more the truth became evident.  Much like the truth behind our own legends of the Jorogumo, that truth was unpalatable.  The actor was a man named Ragno, and it was disputed that he was even a man.  A master of his craft, some said the actor had privately portrayed a woman well enough to fool a local noble into becoming his husband.  At first I simply put this down to spurious rumor, but that was not the truth.  Ragno was neither a man, nor a woman, but able to appear as both.  It was a Demon who moved from life to life, leaving corpses in it's wake.  It appeared as loved ones, and even pets to fool others into giving it shelter.  Always hiding from something that locals implied to me was worse.  Once it knew of me, it appeared to me as Hanzo, mocking me for failing to prevent his death.  Not that I could have known his death was coming.  I went home a failure again, unable to avenge Hiroshi and Hanzo.  And i will never return to Italy.  It is a land of demons, and the locals capitulate to them.  Perhaps they have been given no choice.  But i have a choice.  And I choose not to see the Laughing Spider a second time."

"Ojisan, we live in Okayama.  There's a spider yokai on every street corner."

"Really?"

"The vendor you buy ice cream from is a spider woman."

"Well (beep)."

The Waraikumo's true name is unknown.  Patchy historical regards suggest it was once the servant or rival of another powerful demon.  It is known to be hiding from something it often refers to as 'Pierrot'.  It often hides in plain sight as a theater actor, but more often insinuates itself into households via it's ability to shapeshift.  While in some cases it has been theorized to care for some of the lives it encounters, in practice it brings ruin to most of them.  While it's main form is a man in a checkered suit and black mask, the Waraikumo is actually a swarm of spiders sharing a single mind.

*Spell-Like Abilities (Sp):* At Will: Animate Objects, Briar Web (Spell Compendium), Grease, Greater Shadow Conjuration, Greater Teleport (self plus 50 pounds of objects only), Locate Object, Mislead, and Polymorph Any Object.  Caster level 16th. The save DCs are Charisma-based

*Poison (Su):* Injury, DC 27 Fortitude Save (DC 13 for Spider, Save DC is Constitution based), Initial and Secondary damage is 1d6 Con (1d3 Con for Spider).

*Throw Spider (Su):* As a Standard Action the Waraikumo can separate a Spider from it's mass, and throw it out to a range of 60 feet.  It takes 2d4 damage when it does this, but regains those lost hit points when the Spider rejoins the main body (which it may do as a Swift Action).  It may only do this while in it''s main form.

*Split/Reform (Su):* As a Move Action the Waraikumo can split into it's Swarm form, or regroup into it's Main form.

*Distraction (Ex):* Any living creature that begins its turn with a swarm in its space must succeed on a DC 27 Fortitude save or be nauseated for 1 round. The save DC is Constitution-based. 

*Immunities:* The Waraikumo is imune to Paralysis, Petrification and Polymorph.

*Carnivorous Healing (Su):* When using it's Touch attack in it's main form (or it's swarm attack in it's swarm form, or it's bite attack as an individual spider) the Waraikumo heals one point of damage for each point of damage it's attack does.

*Shapechanger (Su):*  The Waraikumo can assume any animal or humanoid form of Medium size or smaller as a standard action three times per day. The Waraikumo can remain in its animal or humanoid form until it chooses to assume a new one or return to its natural form. This works like the Alternate Form ability, except the Waraikumo retains it's physical ability scores.

*Skills:*  The Laughing Spider has a +8 racial bonus on Climb and Jump checks. The Laughing  Spider can always choose to take 10 on Climb checks, even if rushed or threatened. The Laughing Spider uses either it's Strength or Dexterity modifier for Climb and Jump checks, whichever is higher.

*Combat:* The Waraikumo will often fight below it's true power in order to mask what it truly is (more for it's own amusement than protection, but there is clearly something it doesn't want to find it).  It will duel individuals with it's wooden sword before capering away, unless they remain persistent, or it perceives them as being capable of being a threat.  AT that point, all bets are offf, and it will do whatever is necessary to destroy it's opponent.


*The Slapstick*
The Slapstick appears variously as a wooden sword or club, and is a +3 club effectively.  It also has the ability to modify reality, if you can figure out how to use it.  This requires a DC 25 Use Magic Device (see Use Magic Device "Activate Blindly' in the PHB).  Each time you successfully use the Slapstick, the Check DC lowers by 5, and disappears altogether once it lowers to DC 10.  If it is successfully activated, the wielder can cast Wish once per day (this does not require the XP cost, nor may it be used to grant Inherent Bonuses to ability scores).  Caster Level is equal to the wielders Hit Dice.  If you fail the Use Magic Device Check by 10 or more, you are subjected to a Disintegrate spell (Caster Level 17th).







*The Slapstick*
The Slapstick appears variously as a wooden sword or club, and is a +3 club effectively.  It also has the ability to modify reality, if you can figure out how to use it.  Once attuned, you can use it as a magic weapon, but you  must make a DC 20 Charisma Check.  Each time you succeed in this check, the DC drops by 5, going away altogether when it reaches DC 10.  If it is successfully activated, the wielder can cast Wish once per day. If you fail the Charisma Check by 10 or more, you are subjected to a Disintegrate spell (Save DC 17).  The Waraikumo can use this ability without taking Stress (see the Wish spell).

----------


## Metastachydium

> *Fur Angel*


Let me tell you, this one's the creepiest of the whole lot (a monkey cat playing dress-up? _[Shudders]_).




> *Level Adjustment:*     --- (Improved Familiar)


What level does it become available at? I can't find where that's specified.




> *Manananggal*
> 
> ()
> 
> Deceptive Appearance (Su): The Manananggal appears perfectly human(oid) when not transformed, and spells that would normally reveal it's true nature must succeed in an Opposed Caster Level Check to work.  Touching any item listed in it's vulnerabilities (except daggers or bright light) automatically reveals the Manananggal.


The thing doesn't have a native CL or SR and no DC is specified for the CL check. (On an unrelated note, any chance the EVIL birdy'll get stats of its own?)




> *Vampire Fruit*


Heh. I've always liked these. Nice to see them written up.




> *Feats:*                Ability Focus (Harbinger of Doom!)


That should be marked as B: this thing is mindless.




> *Waraikumo* (main form)
> 
> ()
> 
> *Skills:*               Bluff +20, Climb +17, Concentration +20, Diplomacy +20, Disguise +20, Hide +20, Intimidate +17, Jump +20, Knowledge (Arcana, History, Local, Religion, The Planes) +14, Listen +14, Move Silently +20, Perform +20, Search +14, Sense Motive +15, Spellcraft +14, Spot +14, Tumble +20, Use Magic Device +17


It seems to have 20 missing skill points (after accounting for synergies).




> *Spider*
> 
> ()
> 
> *Attack:*               Bite +8 melee (1d3-3 plus Poison)
> *Full Attack:*          Bite +8 melee (1d3-3 plus Poison)


Damage should be 1d3-4 (from STR 3).

----------


## Bhu

I has made appropriate edits.  I'll do the Manananggal's companion as soon as I can study it.  It has worse coherency than the Manananggal when it comes to having a clear definition.

----------


## Bhu

Corporeal Spirits are beings who have refused to accept their death and continue on as undead. Trapped on the Ethereal Plane, they come to the Prime Material Plane when blood is spilled on their grave, or when certain events transpire related to their life. For example, if they were a famous fighter, they may return if someone attempts to tarnish their reputation.  Above all Corporeal Spirits are great liars. They even lie to themselves in an attempt to convince themselves they're still alive. Corporeal Spirits say they are just victims of a curse for example. This unshakable belief is thought by some to be the source of their power. That and the blood they feast on to maintain their semblance of life.  They don't need much blood to maintain themselves, and can gain what they need by simply ripping someone open and letting their victim spray them (it's absorbed through their skin).  Most Corporeal Spirits are greedy though, and will cause more damage than is necessary, as the act of feeding reveals that they are dead (driving them into a rage).

*CORPOREAL SPIRIT*

Corporeal Spirit is an Acquired Template that can be applied to any Aberration, Animal, Dragon, Giant, Humanoid, Magical Beast, Monstrous Humanoid or Plant.

*Size and Type:* The base creatures type changes to undead. Do not recalculate the base creatures base attack bonus, saves, or skill points. Size is unchanged.

*Hit Dice:* All current and future Hit Dice become d12's.

*Speed:* Speed and movement remains unchanged. The Corporeal Spirit gains a Flight Speed of 50 (Perfect) unless it already has better).

*Armor Class:* Natural Armor is the same as the Base Creatures plus its Charisma bonus (minimum of +1).

*Attacks:* A Corporeal Spirit retains all the attacks of the Base Creature, but those relying on physical contact do not effect creatures that aren't ethereal (unless it has manifested). The Base Creature gains a Bite attack if it does not have one already. Damage depends on the Corporeal Spirits size (Fine: 1 point, Diminutive: 1d2, Tiny: 1d3, Small: 1d4, Medium: 1d6, Large: 1d8, Huge: 2d6, Gargantuan: 3d6, Colossal: 4d6). This bite attack cannot be used while the Corporeal Spirit is maintaining it's Lifelike Appearance (see below).

*Damage:* Against ethereal creatures, the Corporeal Spirit attacks normally. Against non ethereal targets the Corporeal Spirit usually cant physically damage them but can use special attacks (unless it has manifested).

*Special Attacks:* A Corporeal Spirit retains all the Special Attacks of the base creature, but those relying on physical contact cannot effect non ethereal creatures (unless it has manifested). The Corporeal Spirit also gains the Corporeal Manifestation Ability, and 3 others from the following list. The Save DC against a Special Attack is 10 plus half hit dice plus Charisma modifier unless otherwise stated.

Corporeal Manifestation (Su): A Corporeal Spirit can emerge from the Ethereal Plane when blood is spilled on it's physical remains, or during certain circumstances related to it's life decided by the DM. It manifests as a physical being temporarily losing it's Incorporeal Subtype. If destroyed it returns to the Ethereal Plane until it can find a way through again.

Ghost's Curse (Su): You may cast Bestow Curse at will as a Supernatural ability. Anyone 'slaying' (i.e. temporarily ending your existence without permanently getting rid of you) a Corporeal Spirit is automatically subjected to this ability and receives no Save.

Numbing Touch (Su): Your touch is cold and numbs the body of your victims. If a Corporeal Spirit successfully Grapples a victim that victim must make a  Fortitude Save or become Paralyzed until the Corporeal Spirit releases it's hold.

Slay Memory (Su): The Corporeal Spirit may psychically assault victims to erase their memories. As a Full Round Action it may choose 1 opponent within 30 feet, and that victim must make a Willpower Save or lose all memory of the past 24 hours. Only Break Enchantment, Dispel Evil, Miracle, Wish, or a similar spell will restore the lost memories.

Strike Dumb (Su): The Corporeal Spirit may psychically assault victims to render them speechless. As a Full Round Action it may choose 1 opponent within 30 feet, and that victim must make a Willpower Save or be rendered incapable of revealing anything it knows about the Corporeal Spirit, as well as being mute. Only Break Enchantment, Dispel Evil, Miracle, Wish, or a similar spell will restore the lost memories.

Terrifying Appearance (Su): If your Lifelike Appearance is lost, any living creature within 30 feet seeing your true appearance must make a Willpower Save or become Panicked for 1d6 rounds plus 1 round per point of your Charisma modifier. If they make their save successfully, they are immune to the Terrifying Appearance of this Corporeal Spirit for 24 hours.

Bestial Rage (Su): If your Lifelike Appearance is lost you go into a berserker frenzy attacking every living creature you can detect until everything is dead. This state is identical to the Barbarian Rage ability listed on page 25 of the PHB, except you also temporarily grow long claws which you can use as Secondary natural weapons. Damage depends on the Corporeal Spirits size (Fine: -, Diminutive: 1 point, Tiny: 1d2, Small: 1d3, Medium: 1d4, Large: 1d6, Huge: 1d8, Gargantuan: 2d6, Colossal: 3d6).


*Special Qualities:* A Corporeal Spirit has all the Special Qualities of the Base Creature plus Blood Drinking, Rejuvenation, Turn Immunity, Unnatural Aura, Lifesense, Lifelike Appearance, and 1 other from the following list:

Blood Drinking (Ex): A Corporeal Spirit must consume the blood of living creatures to maintain it's ties to the material plane. After 2 weeks without blood the Corporeal Spirit cannot maintain it's lifelike appearance. After that it must make a DC 15 Fortitude Save each day it goes without food or return to the Ethereal Plane. The save DC gains a cumulative +1 each day until the Corporeal Spirit fails. The amount of blood consumed is immaterial so long as some is drank each day, however most Corporeal Spirits feel compelled to gorge, often revealing themselves in the process.  A successful Bite attack is usually sufficient to feed.

Rejuvenation (Su): This is the same as the regular Ghosts ability listed on page 118 of the Monster Manual.

Turn Immunity (Ex): You are Immune to Turn/Rebuke Undead attempts.

Unnatural Aura (Su): Animals will not come within 30 feet of a Corporeal Spirit, and Panic if forced to do so (they remain Panicked so long as the Corporeal Spirit is within Range).

Lifesense (Su): Corporeal Spirits may automatically sense Living creatures within 100 feet as thought they had Blindsight. They also automatically know the strength of their life force as if they had cast Deathwatch.

Lifelike Appearance (Su): When manifested corporeal spirits appear to be alive and healthy. They are warm to the touch, and even appear to breathe. But this is illusion. Anyone who suspects them can make a Willpower Save ( DC is 10 plus half hit dice plus Charisma modifier) to see through it. In which case they see the Corporeal Spirit as he was when he died, with pale skin, and their eyes long gone. The Corporeal Spirit cannot maintain this facade if it has been more than 2 weeks without feeding, or on Hallowed ground. If a Corporeal Spirit has fed within the last hour it's Lifelike Appearance cannot be seen through, and it can even sire children (said Progeny have the Half Ghost Template). After that hour it may be seen though as normal. Spells that would detect it's undead nature or health or alignment do not work upon it well. The Corporeal Spirit gets a Willpower Save (DC is 10 plus spell level plus appropriate attribute modifier) to control what information its opponent receives. This does not work if the Corporeal Spirit has lost it's Lifelike Appearance.

Iron Skin: The Corporeal Spirit has Damage Reduction 10/Magic.

The Blood is the Life (Su): For 1 hour after feeding all rolls made by the Corporeal Spirit are at +2.

Spell Resistance (Ex): The Corporeal Spirit gains Spell Resistance equal to 10 plus half its hit Dice plus its Charisma modifier.

Unnatural Vitality (Ex): The Corporeal Spirit may add its Charisma modifier to it's hit points instead of it's now nonexistent Constitution score.

*Saves:* Unchanged

*Abilities:* +8 Str, +4 Dex, +2 Wis, +4 Cha. Corporeal Spirits have no Constitution Score.

*Skills:* Corporeal Spirits have a +8 Racial Bonus to Bluff, Diplomacy, Intimidate, Listen, and Spot checks.

*Feats:* Corporeal Spirits get 1 Ghost Feat as a Bonus Feat (Ghost Feats will be detailed soon)

*Environment:* Any, usually same as Base Creature.

*Organization:* Same as Base Creature, usually Solitary now.

*Challenge Rating:* +2

*Treasure:* Unchanged

*Alignment:* Unchanged, but many tend towards evil because of their feeding requirements.

*Advancement:* As Base Creature

*Level Adjustment:* +7

Example of creature using template here:

"No one has ever liked the house at the end of Salem Street. It's old, and run down, and even a little disturbing to look at. Strange cries have been heard from it at night, and many of the people in neighboring houses have long since left. In it lives the Old Man. No one remembers his name, and he was considered old during your fathers time. You recall the first time you saw him as a child. You knew something about him was wrong. Animals fled from him, and even the flies that swarmed in the summertime didn't bother him. His eyes were strange. Terrifying. Like the eyes of someone who has looked into Hell, and found it wanting. His smile made you want to vomit.

Recently the Guild that adopted you decided to raid his house. The supposition was that he must have had a great deal of money to survive without working all this time. You even sent a low level Mage in, just in case. Some of the more superstitious members thought he might be a Mage himself due to his longevity. It's been 3 weeks. They haven't come back. Other Guild members have been found daily, drained of blood with their backs broken, hanging from the towns lamp posts. You are one of the few left, and in desperation you have turned yourself in to the Order of Saint Cuthbert. In return for swearing off a life of crime, and devoting yourself to the Church, they will help you rid the world of what you believe is some sort of monster. You can only hope the priest they sent with you is able to help. He looks young. Too eager to prove himself.

And then the Old Man steps out into the street. Even the driving wind and rain from the summer storms don't seem to touch him. He smiles. A mouth full of razors. And you think for the second time today: I am going to die tonight."


*The Old Man* (Male Human, apparent age undeterminable (but very old), Hexblade 11/Corporeal Spirit)
Medium Undead
*Hit Dice:* 11d12 (71 hp)
*Initiative:* +5
*Speed:* 30 ft. (6 squares), Fly 50 ft (good)
*Armor Class:* 15 (+1 Dex, +4 Natural), touch 11, flat-footed 14
*Armor Class Raging :* 13 (-2 Rage, +1 Dex, +4 Natural), touch 9, flat-footed 12
*Base Attack/Grapple:* +11/+15
*Attack:* Bite +15 melee (1d6+4) or Grapple +15 or weapon +15
Bite +17 melee (1d6+6) or Grapple +17 or weapon +17when raging
*Full Attack:* 1 Bite +15 melee (1d6+4) or Grapple +15 or weapon +15/+9
1 Bite +17 melee (1d6+4) and 2 Claws +12 melee (1d4+3) or Grapple +17 or weapon +17/+12 when Raging
*Space/Reach:* 5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:* Corporeal Manifestation, Ghosts Curse, Numbing Touch, Bestial Rage, Greater Hexblades Curse 3/day, Spells
*Special Qualities:* Blood Drinking, Rejuvenation, Turn Immunity, Unnatural Aura, Lifesense, Lifelike Appearance, DR 10/Magic, Mettle, Arcane Resistance
*Saves:* Fort +5, Ref +4, Will +11 (+13 Raging)
*Abilities:* Str 18 (22 Raging), Dex 12, Con -, Int 13, Wis 16, Cha 19
*Skills:* Bluff +19, Concentration +11, Diplomacy +19, Intimidate +19, Knowledge Arcana +8, Listen +11, Spellcraft +8, Spot +11
*Feats:* Combat Casting (B), Spell Focus (Necromancy) (B), Ability Focus (Hexblades Curse), Great Fortitude, Improved Initiative, Dodge, Empowered Ghosts Curse (B)
*Challenge Rating:* 13
*Treasure:* See below
*Alignment:* Chaotic Evil
*Level Adjustment:* +5

*Spells Known:* 1st (DC 15, 2/day): Charm Person, Disguise Self, Karmic Aura, Reaving Aura
2nd (DC 16, 2/day):Karmic Backlash, Blindness/Deafness
3rd (DC 17, 1/day): Hound of Doom, Vampiric Touch

*Corporeal Manifestation (Su):* The Old Man can emerge from the Ethereal Plane when blood is spilled on his physical remains, or if someone enters his house. He manifests as a physical being temporarily losing it's Incorporeal Subtype. If destroyed he returns to the Ethereal Plane until he can find a way through again.

*Ghost's Curse (Su):* The Old Man may cast Bestow Curse (DC 19) at will as a Supernatural ability. Anyone 'slaying' (i.e. temporarily ending his existence without permanently getting rid of him)the Old Man is automatically subjected to this ability and receives no Save.

*Numbing Touch (Su):* The Old Man's touch is cold and numbs the body of his victims. If he successfully Grapples a victim, that victim must make a DC 19 Fortitude Save or become Paralyzed until the Old Man releases ihis hold.

*Bestial Rage (Su):* If his Lifelike Appearance is lost the Old Man goes into a berserker frenzy attacking every living creature he can detect until everything is dead. This state is identical to the Barbarian Rage ability listed on page 25 of the PHB, except he also temporarily grows long claws which he can use as Secondary natural weapons. Damage is 1d4.

*Blood Drinking (Ex):* The Old Man must consume the blood of living creatures to maintain his ties to the material plane. After 2 weeks without blood he cannot maintain his lifelike appearance. After that he must make a DC 15 Fortitude Save each day he goes without food or return to the Ethereal Plane. The save DC gains a cumulative +1 each day until he fails. The amount of blood consumed is immaterial so long as some is drank each day.

*Rejuvenation (Su):* This is the same as the regular Ghosts ability listed on page 118 of the Monster Manual.  To permanently end the Old Man he must be shown proof of his demise, and be compelled to accept it.

*Unnatural Aura (Su):* Animals will not come within 30' of the Old Man , and Panic if forced to do so (they remain Panicked so long as the Old Man is within Range).

*Lifesense (Su):* The Old Man may automatically sense Living creatures within 100' as though he had Blindsight. He also automatically knows the strength of their life force as if he had cast Deathwatch.

*Lifelike Appearance (Su):* When manifested corporeal spirits appear to be alive and healthy. They are warm to the touch, and even appear to breathe. But this is illusion. Anyone who suspects them can make a Willpower Save ( DC 19 for the Old Man) to see through it. In which case they see the Corporeal Spirit as he was when he died, with pale skin, and their eyes long gone. The Corporeal Spirit cannot maintain this facade if it has been more than 2 weeks without feeding, or on Hallowed ground. If a Corporeal Spirit has fed within the last hour it's Lifelike Appearance cannot be seen through, and it can even sire children (said Progeny have the Half Ghost Template). After that hour it may be seen though as normal. Spells that would detect it's undead nature or health or alignment do not work upon it well. The Corporeal Spirit gets a Willpower Save (DC is 10 plus spell level plus appropriate attribute modifier) to control what information its opponent receives. This does not work if the Corporeal Spirit has lost it's Lifelike Appearance.

*Mettle*: If the Old Man makes a successful Will or Fortitude Save against an attack that would normally have a lesser effect on a successful Save, he instead completely negates the effect.

*Arcane Resistance*: The Old Man gets a +4 bonus to saving throws against spells and spell like abilities.

*Hexblades Curse*: 3 times per day the Old Man may curse a visible target within 60'.  The target must make a DC 21 Willpower Save or take a -4 penalty on attacks, saves, ability checks, skill checks, and weapon damage rolls for 1 hour.

The Old Man died peacefully in his sleep, but his spirit refused to accept it. he still has all the appropriate equipment for an 11th level PC, and all the money he's stolen from his victims.

*Combat:* The Old Man usually uses his Hexblade's Curse, Ghost's Curse,  and spells to soften up opponents from afar, before Grappling them and strangling them to death. After that he rips them apart to get to their blood.



Berserkers were ill tempered men of a martial bent in life.  Their temper has only grown worse in death, particularly when they are confronted with the reality of their own demise.



Hexen were usually mildly talented casters, on the verge of finally gaining access to real power before coming to a brutal and premature end.  Now they seek a way to regain the path they lost when dying.

----------


## Bhu

Spectral Vermin are monstrous vermin turned into undead monstrosities by powerful spellcasters through unholy rituals. They usually outlive their creators, killing and devouring anything that enters their territory. For each 10 Hit Dice of living creature they destroy they gain 1 Hit Die permanently. Theoretically there is no upper limit to the size (and number of hit dice) they can gain.

*SPECTRAL VERMIN*

Spectral Vermin is an Acquired Template that can be applied to any Vermin Size Class Medium or larger.

*Size and Type:* The base creatures type changes to undead. Do not recalculate the base creatures base attack bonus, saves, or skill points. It gains the Incorporeal Subtype. Size is unchanged.

*Hit Dice:* All current and future Hit Dice become d12's.

*Speed:* Base movement speeds are lost and a Flight speed equal to (base land speed + 20 feet) is gained\, maneuverability is Perfect.

*Armor Class:* The Base Creature loses it's Natural Armor Bonus but gains a Deflection Bonus of equal value (or it's Charisma bonus, whichever is higher).

*Attacks:* A Spectral Vermin retains all the attacks of the Base Creature, but they become incorporeal touch attacks.

*Damage:* The damage of the Spectral Vermin's regular attacks is now negative energy damage instead of physical, and no longer adds it's Strength modifier for damage.

*Special Attacks:* Retains all of the Special Attacks of the Base Creature in a slightly different form (if they are mentioned below), and gains Energy Drain, and Terrifying Appearance. Saves for all Special Attacks are 10 plus half hit dice plus Charisma modifier.

Energy Drain (Su): Each time an opponent is hit by the Spectral Vermin's incorporeal touch attack it must make a Fortitude Save or gain 2 Negative levels. For each such negative level bestowed the Spectral Vermin gains 5 temporary hit points.

Terrifying Appearance (Su): Any living being within 60 ft. of the Spectral Vermin must make a Fortitude Save or take 1d4 points of Strength, Dexterity, and Constitution damage. If the save is made successfully, the opponent is immune to this particular Spectral Vermin's Terrifying Appearance for 24 hours.

Energy Spray (Su): If the base creature has an acidic spray attack, it gains Energy Spray. The size and damage are the same, but damage is now negative energy damage instead of acid.

Death Attack (Su): If the Base Creature has a poisonous attack, it gains the Death Attack (so called because it appears to kill its opponent). If the Spectral Vermin successfully hits with the formerly poisonous attack the opponent must make a Fortitude Save or be paralyzed permanently. Any spell/effect that removes curses or Remove Paralysis will cure this condition. A DC 20 Spot check or a DC 15 Heal check will reveal the victim is still alive.

Spectral Web (Su): If the Base Creature has a Web attack, it gains the Spectral Web attack. When thrown, instead of entangling the opponent, the opponent must make a Fortitude Save or lose 1d6 Dexterity (after which the web fades). The web may be thrown at will, not just 8 times per day.

Please note I only looked at Vermin in the Monster Manual. Will add other Special Attacks as they become requested.

*Special Qualities:* Retains all the Special Qualities of the Base Creature, and gains Turn Immunity, Unnatural Aura, Lifesense, and Sunlight Powerlessness.

Turn Immunity (Ex): You are Immune to Turn/Rebuke Undead attempts.

Unnatural Aura (Su): Animals will not come within 100 feet of a Spectral Vermin, and Panic if forced to do so (they remain Panicked so long as the Spectral Vermin is within Range).

Lifesense (Su): Spectral Vermin may automatically sense Living creatures within 100 feet as though they had Blindsight. They also automatically know the strength of their life force as if they had cast Deathwatch.

Sunlight Powerlessness: Spectral Vermin are powerless in natural sunlight and cannot move or attack while in it. They will not willingly enter sunlight, and flee from it given the chance.

*Saves:* Spectral Vermin receive a +4 Racial Bonus on Willpower Saves

*Abilities:* +4 Dex, Int becomes 4 (Spectral Vermin is still immune to mind affecting effects), +4 Wis, +10 Cha. Spectral Vermin have no Strength or Constitution score.

*Skills:* Spectral Vermin gain a +8 Racial Bonus on Hide, Listen, Move Silently, Search, and Spot checks.

*Feats:* The Base Creature gains 1 Ghost Feat.

*Environment:* Any, usually same as base Creature

*Organization:* Solitary

*Challenge Rating:* +3

*Treasure:* Standard. More depending on age and power.

*Alignment:* Always Neutral Evil

*Advancement:* As Base Creature, but there is no maximum size or Hit Die limit (see above).

*Level Adjustment:* ---


"There used to be a Wizard up on Black Peak. Built his spire right out of the mountain. It had no doors, and the only openings were where, and when, he wanted one to appear. We always assumed there was a way in somewhere in the mountain caves, but he always got in by magic that we saw.

When he started calling things down from the sky, the towns mayor decided he needed to go. Not that we could really do anything, so we puttered around the mountains roots looking in the caves. And wouldn't you know we did find one that led into the mountain. As black a pit as I've ever seen. Crawling with spiders and vermin. We lost a lot of men just finding the cave, let alone cleaning it out.

He knew what we were up to of course. He had something waiting for us as we hacked and burned our way to his sanctuary. We lost everyone. Everyone but me, coward that I was. I had run screaming while they fought and died. It got the Wizard too in the end. It's up there now. Still. Waiting for anything that comes it's way. And if the Gods are with us it'll stay in that damned mountain, and never come out."

*The Spider of Black Peak* (Advanced Gargantuan Monstrous Spider/Spectral Vermin)
Gargantuan Undead
*Hit Dice:* 20d12 (130 hp)
*Initiative:* +5
*Speed:* Fly 50 ft. (10 squares), Perfect
*Armor Class:* 21 (-4 Size, +5 Dex, +10 Deflection), touch 21, flat-footed 16
*Base Attack/Grapple:* +15/+34
*Attack:* Bite +16 melee touch (2d8 negative energy plus death attack plus energy drain)
*Full Attack:* Bite +16 melee touch (2d8 negative energy plus death attack plus energy drain)
*Space/Reach:* 20 ft./15 ft.
*Special Attacks:* Energy Drain, Terrifying Appearance, Death Bite, Spectral Web
*Special Qualities:* Turn Immunity, Unnatural Aura, Lifesense, Sunlight Powerlessness, Dark Vision 60 ft., Tremor Sense 60 ft.
*Saves:* Fort +12, Ref +11, Will +12
*Abilities:* Str -, Dex 21, Con -, Int 4, Wis 14, Cha 12
*Skills:* Hide +10 (+18 when using webs), Listen +10, Move Silently +20 (+28 when using webs), Search +6, Spot +15
*Feats:* Positive Energy Resistance (B)
*Environment:* The Black Peak
*Challenge Rating:* 12
*Treasure:* See below
*Alignment:* Neutral Evil
*Level Adjustment:* ---

*Energy Drain (Su):* Each time an opponent is hit by the Spiders incorporeal touch attack it must make a DC 21 Fortitude Save or gain 2 Negative levels. For each such negative level bestowed the Spider gains 5 temporary hit points.

*Terrifying Appearance (Su):* Any living being within 60' of the Spider must make a DC 21 Fortitude Save or take 1d4 points of Strength, Dexterity, and Constitution damage. If the save is made successfully, the opponent is immune to the Spiders Terrifying Appearance for 24 hours.

*Death Attack (Su):* If the Spider successfully hits with it's Bite attack the opponent must make a DC 21 Fortitude Save or be paralyzed permanently. Any spell/effect that removes curses or Remove Paralysis will cure this condition. A DC 20 Spot check or a DC 15 Heal check will reveal the victim is still alive.

*Spectral Web (Su):* If the Base Creature has a Web attack, it gains the Spectral Web attack. When thrown, instead of entangling the opponent, the opponent must make a DC 21 Fortitude Save or lose 1d6 Dexterity (after which the web fades). The web may be thrown at will, not just 8 times per day.

*Unnatural Aura (Su):* Animals will not come within 100' of the Spider, and Panic if forced to do so (they remain Panicked so long as the Spider is within Range).

*Lifesense (Su):* The Spider may automatically sense Living creatures within 100' as though it had Blindsight. It also automatically know the strength of their life force as if it had cast Deathwatch.

*Sunlight Powerlessness:* The Spider is powerless in natural sunlight and cannot move or attack while in it. It will not willingly enter sunlight, and flee from it given the chance.

*Combat:* The Spider of Black Peak usually softens up its enemies with it's Spectral Webs, and then moves into to finish them off with it's bite attack.

----------


## Bhu

*Black Fly Swarm*
                      Fine Outsider (Extraplanar, Lawful, Evil)
*Hit Dice:*             12d8+12 (66 hp)
*Initiative:*           +5
*Speed:*                Fly 30 ft. (6 squares), Good
*Armor Class:*          23 (+8 Size, +5 Dex), touch 23, flat-footed 18
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +12/-
*Attack:*               Swarm (3d6 plus disease)
*Full Attack:*          Swarm (3d6 plus disease
*Space/Reach:*          10 ft./0 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Distraction, Panic, Waken the Dead, Dark Magic
*Special Qualities:*    Damage Reduction 10/Magic, Darkvision 60 ft., Immune to Weapon Damage, Low Light Vision, Swarm Traits, Immunities (Fire, Poison, Disease)
*Saves:*                Fort +11, Ref +13, Will +11
*Abilities:*            Str 1, Dex 20, Con 12, Int 3, Wis 12, Cha 12
*Skills:*               Hide +28, Listen +8, Knowledge (Arcana, Religion, The Planes) +4, Intimidate +9, Search +3, Spot +8
*Feats:*                Ability Focus (Diseased Bite, Panic), Great Fortitude, Hover, Iron Will
*Environment:*          Any, usually the 9 Hells of Baator
*Organization:*         Solitary, Scourge (2-4), Blight (5-8)
*Challenge Rating:*     8
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Lawful Evil
*Advancement:*          None
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_"Flies are more than just biting vermin Jericho.  Their origin is in a place darker than this world.  The day we found your mother dead in the field it was swarming with flies, but noticeably not one was touching her.  The day we were forced to put her in the ground a second time they were not so choosy."_

Black Flies are the swarms that abide in the 9 Hells, and are rarely seen elsewhere unless summoned (via Summon Monster IX) or sent for a purpose.  They are often used to torment the opponents of Devilish cults.  The Flies are also an incredible nuisance, poisoning the land, waking the dead, and increasing evils power in general.  Sightings of swarms is often a sign that bad things are afoot, such as an open Gate or a possession.  They understand Common and Infernal, but cannot speak either.

*Distraction (Ex):* Any opponent that begins its turn within a swarm of Black Flies must make a DC 17 Fortitude Save or be Nauseated for 1 round.  Save DC is Constitution Based.

*Diseased Bite (Ex):* Any opponent damaged by the swarms Swarm attack must make a DC 19 Fortitude Save or contract Devil Chills (see DMG page 292, Save DC is Constitution based).

*Panic (Su):* Any opponent that begins it's turn within a swarm of Black Flies must make a DC 19 Willpower Save or be Panicked for 1 round.  Save DC is Charisma based, if the opponents Save is successful he is immune to this Black Fly Swarms Panic ability for 24 hours.

*Waken the Dead (Su):* Any corpse touched by the swarm or within it's area animates as per the Animate Dead spell.  However the undead aren't controlled by the Swarm (although they will not attack it), and there is no limit to how many Undead they can animate.  This ability is continuous and requires no action on the part of the swarm.

*Dark Magic (Su):* All spells or spell like abilities from the Necromancy school or that have the Evil descriptor have their Save DC increased +4 while cast within 30 ft. of a swarm of Black Flies (unless the spell is being cast on the swarm).

*Combat:* Black Flies pretty much attack the way all swarms do, by swarming.  Despite their slightly higher Intelligence they still aren't very tactical.

----------


## Bhu

https://foundation.app/@averkin/foundation/18774


*Perrault's Crow*
                      Huge Aberration
*Hit Dice:*             18d8+90 (171 hp)
*Initiative:*           +6
*Speed:*                40 ft. (8 squares), Fly 120 ft. (Good)
*Armor Class:*          20 (-2 Size, +2 Dex, +10 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 18
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +13/+29
*Attack:*               Bite +19 melee (3d6+8)
*Full Attack:*          1 Bite +19 melee (3d6+8) and 2 Claws +17 melee (2d8+4) and 2 Lesser Claws +17 melee (1d8+4)
*Space/Reach:*          15 ft./15 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Frightful Presence
*Special Qualities:*    Darkvision 120 ft., Second Sight, DR 10/Magic, SR 20
*Saves:*                Fort +11, Ref +8, Will +12
*Abilities:*            Str 26, Dex 14, Con 20, Int 4, Wis 12, Cha 14
*Skills:*               Climb +8, Listen +8, Search +4, Spot +8, Survival +4
*Feats:*                Alertness, Flyby Attack, Improved Initiative, Improved Snatch, Multiattack, SKill FOcus (Search), Snatch
*Environment:*         Temperate Forests
*Organization:*         Unique
*Challenge Rating:*     9
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Neutral
*Advancement:*          15+ HD (Huge)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

"Listen closely, I'll only be drunk enough to ever tell this story once.  There's a reason we avoid the Sonian Forest at certain times of the year.  At one time a man named Jean Perrault lived in a small pavillon hidden there.  He was an odd man.  Never attended Church or any other social function.  He only came to the village for parcels and supplies.  God alone knows where half the things he ordered came from.  Some of them stank, or were marked hazardous.  When he went on his  frequent trips, he would return with strange devices, and even stranger books.  People began to whisper that he was into the occult.  Probably because he was."

"His other singular obsession was a crow.  It was an odd crow.  Piebald, with milky eyes.  You could always see it somewhere, staring.   We all thought it was blind, yet somehow it kept on living.  We assumed Perrault fed it, but no one knew how it could get about without hitting anything.  The townsfolk started referring to it as Perrault's familiar.  If we only knew the truth."

"Eventually his odd behavior exceeded our tolerance.  I was a boy of 14 at the time.  A mob had formed to oust him, and my father took me along because he wanted me to 'learn what it was to be a man.'  Apparently being a man meant joining a lynching party that was frothing at the mouth in fear, and destined to spiral out of control.  Even as a boy I could see what was coming.  At least i thought I could.  It erupted into violence as expected, but Perrault, wily rogue that he was, had a surprise for us.  Four men died before we even got to his house.  He'd trapped the path leading to it.  The door was open when we got there.  Perrault was gone, but his handiwork wasn't.  He'd opened a door to somewhere, and something had come through.  A great many somethings in fact.  I ran when they tore the first man in half.  Most of the people who went in died that day.  We never found Perrault, but we did kill most of his creations."

"I was hiding in the town hall afterwards, and overheard everything.  Perrault had become obsessed with the idea that his crow not only wasn't blind, but could see things the rest of us couldn't.  He had it in his head that there were many overlapping realities, and that his crow could see the weak points in them that allowed one to cross over from one world to the next.  He used it to open a doorway to somewhere, but in his journal he noted that whatever he expected to find on the other side, he wasn't fool enough to cross over himself.  He sent small beasts of the forest that he trapped instead, to watch what happened to them.  They were...changed.  Horribly.  And whatever was on the other side kept pushing them back over to our side of the door.  Perrault had some manner of keeping them at bay.  Likely he kept them around on the chance we did what we did."

"And then there was the crow.  After it ripped out the Mayors eyes, it fled through the door.  It comes back every so often, when the door is open.  It's not just a crow anymore.  We never did find Perrault.  Maybe one of his pets ate him.  Maybe he's up there still, whatever he might be now.  Avoid the forest, especially on New Years Day.  And don't pursue this any further.  The town has a way of making sure people who ask about the crow disappear."

*Frightful Presence (Ex):* The Crow can unsettle foes with its mere presence. The ability takes effect automatically whenever the Crow attacks, charges, or flies overhead. Creatures within a radius of 120 feet are subject to the effect if they have fewer HD than the Crow. A potentially affected creature that succeeds on a DC 21 Will save (Save DC is Charisma based) remains immune to that Crows frightful presence for 24 hours. On a failure, creatures with 4 or less HD become panicked for 4d6 rounds, those with 5-10 HD are Frightened for 4d6 rounds, and those with 11 or more HD become shaken for 4d6 rounds. 

*Second Sight (Su):* The Crow permanently has the benefits of a True Seeing spell (Caster Level equal to it's HD).  It also can see into other planes of existence in areas where the barriers between worlds are week, and can see portals between realities that are normally invisible.

*Combat:* The Crow seems to prefer to do Flyby attacks, snatching up one victim at a time.

----------


## Bhu

*River Ghost*

River Ghost is an Acquired Template that can be applied to any Humanoid who has drowned in a river.  This is based on old Swedish folklore of ghosts that try to drag people under the water, but 
I'm kind of winging it as I can't find any English language sources.  The ghost wants to cross the river or fjord, and will insist people crossing the river carry them, often drowning them in the process.   Some ghosts will explain to targets how to send them on to the afterlife, but often in only the most cryptic of terms.

*Size and Type:* The base creatures type changes to undead with the Incorporeal Subtype. Do not recalculate the base creatures base attack bonus, saves, or skill points. Size is unchanged.  

*Hit Dice:* All current and future Hit Dice become d12's.

*Speed:* The base creature gains a Swim speed equal to it's land speed.

*Armor Class:* Natural armor is the same as the base creatures but applies only to ethereal encounters. When the ghost manifests (see below), its natural armor bonus is +0, but it gains a deflection bonus equal to its Charisma modifier or +1, whichever is higher.

*Attacks:* A ghost retains all the attacks of the base creature, although those relying on physical contact do not affect creatures that are not ethereal. 

*Damage:* Against ethereal creatures, a ghost uses the base creatures damage values. Against nonethereal creatures, the ghost usually cannot deal physical damage at all but can use its special attacks, if any, when it manifests (see below). 

*Special Attacks:* Retains all Special Attacks of the base creature, plus gains the following:

Manifestation (Su):  Every ghost has this ability. A ghost dwells on the Ethereal Plane and, as an ethereal creature, it cannot affect or be affected by anything in the material world. When a ghost manifests, it partly enters the Material Plane and becomes visible but incorporeal on the Material Plane. A manifested ghost can be harmed only by other incorporeal creatures, magic weapons, or spells, with a 50% chance to ignore any damage from a corporeal source. A manifested ghost can pass through solid objects at will, and its own attacks pass through armor. A manifested ghost always moves silently. A manifested ghost can strike with its touch attack or with a ghost touch weapon (see Ghostly Equipment, below). A manifested ghost remains partially on the Ethereal Plane, where is it not incorporeal. A manifested ghost can be attacked by opponents on either the Material Plane or the Ethereal Plane. The ghosts incorporeality helps protect it from foes on the Material Plane, but not from foes on the Ethereal Plane.

When a spellcasting ghost is not manifested and is on the Ethereal Plane, its spells cannot affect targets on the Material Plane, but they work normally against ethereal targets. When a spellcasting ghost manifests, its spells continue to affect ethereal targets and can affect targets on the Material Plane normally unless the spells rely on touch. A manifested ghosts touch spells dont work on nonethereal targets.

A ghost has two home planes, the Material Plane and the Ethereal Plane. It is not considered extraplanar when on either of these planes. 

Psychic Grapple (Su): The River Ghost can 'ride' people or animals, making them feel as if a great weight has descended upon their back and shoulders.  They do this to creatures who are crossing the river.  This is a Standard Action that can target any living creature that is adjacent to the ghost.  The creature must be swimming or walking across the river for this ability to work.  Each round the target is subjected to this ability it must make a Strength Check (1d20 + 1/2 HD + Str modifier) opposed by the Ghosts Charisma (1d20 + 1/2 HD + Cha modifier).  If the target succeeds, it moves normally.  If it fails, it's movement speed is halved.  If it fails another check it also becomes Fatigued.  Should it fail a fourth check, it becomes Exhausted.  Should it fail a fifth time, the target slips underwater and must hold it's breath or begin drowning.  The ghost will target this creature each round with this ability until it crosses the river or drowns.

Invisibility (Su): A River Ghost can become Invisible as per the Greater Invisibility spell at will.

Horrific Appearance (Su): Any living creature within 60 feet that views a ghost must succeed on a Fortitude save or immediately take 1d4 points of Strength damage, 1d4 points of Dexterity damage, and 1d4 points of Constitution damage. A creature that successfully saves against this effect cannot be affected by the same ghosts horrific appearance for 24 hours. 

*Special Qualities:* Retains all Special Qualities of the base creature, plus gains the following:

Rejuvenation (Su): In most cases, its difficult to destroy a ghost through simple combat: The "destroyed" spirit will often restore itself in 2d4 days. Even the most powerful spells are usually only temporary solutions. A ghost that would otherwise be destroyed returns to its old haunts with a successful level check (1d20 + ghosts HD) against DC 16. As a rule, the only way to get rid of a ghost for sure is to determine the reason for its existence and set right whatever prevents it from resting in peace (usually crossing the river in this case, or righting whatever wrong it did). The exact means varies with each spirit and may require a good deal of research. 

Turn Resistance (Ex): A ghost has +4 turn resistance. 

River Imprisonment (Ex): A River Ghost cannot step out of the river it died in.

*Saves:* Unchanged.

*Abilities:* +4 Cha, being Undead it has no Con score.

*Skills:* Ghosts have a +8 racial bonus on Hide, Listen, Search, Spot, and Swim checks.  It can always choose to take 10 on a Swim check, even if distracted or endangered. It can use the run action while swimming, provided it swims in a straight line

*Feats:* Unchanged.

*Environment:* The river it died in.

*Organization:* Same as Base Creature, usually Solitary now.

*Challenge Rating:* +1

*Treasure:* Unchanged.

*Alignment:* Any.

*Advancement:* n/a

*Level Adjustment:* ---

Example of creature using template here:

*Old Man Kallan*  (Fighter4/River Ghost template)
                      Medium Undead (Aquatic)
*Hit Dice:*             4d12 (26 hp)
*Initiative:*           +5
*Speed:*                30 ft. (6 squares), Swim 30 ft.
*Armor Class:*          14 (+1 Dex, +3 Deflection), touch 14, flat-footed 13
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +4/+6
*Attack:*               ---
*Full Attack:*          ---
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Manifestation, Psychic Grapple,  Invisibility, Horrific Appearance
*Special Qualities:*    Darkvision 60 ft., Rejuvenation, Turn Resistance, River Imprisonment
*Saves:*                Fort +4, Ref +4, Will +3
*Abilities:*            Str 15, Dex 13, Con -, Int 8, Wis 12, Cha 16
*Skills:*               Climb +2, Handle Animal +8, Hide +9, Intimidate +8, Jump +2, Listen +9, Ride +6, Search +7, Spot +9, Swim +10
*Feats:*                Iron Will, Lightning Reflexes, Cleave (B), Great Cleave (B), Improved Initiative (B), Power Attack (B)
*Alignment:*            Neutral Evil


"Kallan was a cavalry man who retired after the Great Northern War.  His retirement was not an easy one.  He'd acquired a great deal of wealth in the war, some say by theft, and lorded it over the rest of us.   The mayor may have run the town, but he was Kallan's toady.  He let Kallan get away with murder.  There were darker things attributed to Kallan as well, but only in whispers.  The older he grew, the worse he got, and finally word made it's way around that he'd hired a Haxa to give him eternal life in exchange for God alone knows what."

"We'd had enough.  We killed the witch and burned the body a fortnight away from the village.  She cursed us with her dying breath, but we paid her no mind. We would've put paid to Kallan too, but when we returned we'd learned he drowned while bathing in the river.  Odd given that he'd always been a good swimmer.  We just assumed someone had beaten us to the punch.  But the witch had given him eternal life of a sort, just not the manner he wanted it to be.  Old Kallan still 'lives' in the river, and that is why we avoid it.  We've called upon you to lay him to rest.  He is the witches curse given form, and he won't leave until we're all dead or find someone who can exorcise him."

----------


## Metastachydium

> I'll do the Manananggal's companion as soon as I can study it.  It has worse coherency than the Manananggal when it comes to having a clear definition.


Cool! Take your time!




> *CORPOREAL SPIRIT*


O-okay. These have the same LA as your standard issue Core ghosts but they are _way_ stronger, with more options (including built-in Undead Toughness. Yuck!)




> *Size and Type:* The base creatures type changes to undead. Do not recalculate the base creatures base attack bonus, saves, or skill points. Size is unchanged.


So, um, are these things Incorporeal under any circumstances?




> *Speed:* Speed and movement remains unchanged. The Corporeal Spirit gains a Flight Speed of 50 (Perfect) unless it already has better.


Because this is a tad bit weird if they aren't; and this:




> *Armor Class:* Natural Armor is the same as the Base Creatures plus its Charisma bonus (minimum of +1).


a tad bit weird either way, but mostly if they are.




> *Special Attacks:* A Corporeal Spirit retains all the Special Attacks of the base creature, but those relying on physical contact cannot effect non ethereal creatures (unless it has manifested). The Corporeal Spirit also gains the Corporeal Manifestation Ability, and 3 others from the following list. The Save DC against a Special Attack is 10 plus half hit dice plus Charisma modifier unless otherwise stated.
> 
> ()
> 
> *Special Qualities:* A Corporeal Spirit has all the Special Qualities of the Base Creature plus Blood Drinking, Rejuvenation, Turn Immunity, Unnatural Aura, Lifesense, Lifelike Appearance, and 1 other from the following list:
> 
> Blood Drinking (Ex): A Corporeal Spirit must consume the blood of living creatures to maintain it's ties to the material plane. After 2 weeks without blood the Corporeal Spirit cannot maintain it's lifelike appearance. After that it must make a DC 15 Fortitude Save each day it goes without food or return to the Ethereal Plane. The save DC gains a cumulative +1 each day until the Corporeal Spirit fails. The amount of blood consumed is immaterial so long as some is drank each day, however most Corporeal Spirits feel compelled to gorge, often revealing themselves in the process.


They should have some form of Blood Drain; it'd have a good synergy with their paralyzing grapple trick and, well, having one's blood drunk by an undead abomination ought to have _some_ manner of adverse health effect.




> *Black Fly Swarm*
> 
> ()
> 
> *Waken the Dead (Su):*


(I'd probably use _wake_ instead of _waken_, but that's purely a matter of stylistic preference.)




> https://foundation.app/@averkin/foundation/18774
> 
> 
> *Perrault's Crow*


A BIRDY!




> *Feats:*                Alertness, Flyby Attack, Improved Snatch, Multiattack, Snatch


18 HD come with 7 feats; this fellow only has 5. This cannot be!




> *Frightful Presence (Ex):* The Crow can unsettle foes with its mere presence. The ability takes effect automatically whenever the Crow attacks, charges, or flies overhead. Creatures within a radius of 120 feet are subject to the effect if they have fewer HD than the Crow. A potentially affected creature that succeeds on a DC 19 Will save (Save DC is Charisma based)


The DC should be a 21).




> On a failure, creatures with 4 or less HD become panicked for 4d6 rounds and those with 5 or more HD become shaken for 4d6 rounds.


Hm. Could I convince you to make that _panicked_ up to 4 HD; _frightened_ up to 10; and _shaken_ at 11 or higher?




> *Second Sight (Su):* The Crow permanently has the benefits of a True Seeing spell (Caster Level equal to it's HD).  It also can see into other planes of existence in areas where the barriers between worlds are week, and can see portals between realities that are normally invisible.


I'm not sure there are actual rules for the latter half, but I like this one a lot regardless.

----------


## Bhu

> O-okay. These have the same LA as your standard issue Core ghosts but they are _way_ stronger, with more options (including built-in Undead Toughness. Yuck!)


I increased the LA.




> So, um, are these things Incorporeal under any circumstances?


 Nope,  They either exist on the Ethereal Plane, or manifest physically on ours.





> They should have some form of Blood Drain; it'd have a good synergy with their paralyzing grapple trick and, well, having one's blood drunk by an undead abomination ought to have _some_ manner of adverse health effect.


  They really don't need much blood, so I changed the text here and there to reflect that.





> 18 HD come with 7 feats; this fellow only has 5. This cannot be!


 I has fixed





> Hm. Could I convince you to make that _panicked_ up to 4 HD; _frightened_ up to 10; and _shaken_ at 11 or higher?


  Maybe.  That's generally more powerful than a Dragon of equal HD.

----------


## Metastachydium

> I increased the LA.


You left it unchanged in the Old Man's statblock, though.




> They really don't need much blood, so I changed the text here and there to reflect that.


Works for me.




> Maybe.  That's generally more powerful than a Dragon of equal HD.


A dragon of equal HD has d12s, all good saves, full BAB, more skill points, comparable physical stats, (far) better mental stats, sorcerer/cleric spellcasting, a breath weapon, immunities, higher NA and (usually) speed(s). The crow has somewhat better DEX, stronger natural attacks and superior maneuverability, but that's about it. I don't think making its Frightful Presence a bit more competitive breaks anything.

----------


## Bhu

> You left it unchanged in the Old Man's statblock, though.
> 
> 
> 
> Works for me.
> 
> 
> 
> A dragon of equal HD has d12s, all good saves, full BAB, more skill points, comparable physical stats, (far) better mental stats, sorcerer/cleric spellcasting, a breath weapon, immunities, higher NA and (usually) speed(s). The crow has somewhat better DEX, stronger natural attacks and superior maneuverability, but that's about it. I don't think making its Frightful Presence a bit more competitive breaks anything.


I didn't mean it made it more powerful than the dragon in generaal, just in that ability.  I'll mod it when I get home.

----------


## Metastachydium

> I didn't mean it made it more powerful than the dragon in generaal, just in that ability. I'll mod it when I get home.


Roger that!

----------


## Bhu

*Scorpionfly Swarm*
                      Tiny Vermin (Swarm)
*Hit Dice:*            12d8+24 (78 hp)
*Initiative:*           +2
*Speed:*                5 ft. (1 square), Fly 30 ft., Good
*Armor Class:*          16 (+2 Size, +2 Dex, +2 Natural), touch 14, flat-footed 14
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +9/-
*Attack:*               Swarm (3d6 plus poison)
*Full Attack:*          Swarm (3d6 plus poison)
*Space/Reach:*          10 ft./0 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Distraction, Poison
*Special Qualities:*    Half Damage from Slashing and Piercing, Dark Vision 60 ft. Swarm Traits, Mindless, Vermin Traits
*Saves:*                Fort +10, Ref +6, Will +5
*Abilities:*            Str 3, Dex 15, Con 15, Int -, Wis 12, Cha 2
*Skills:*              --
*Feats:*                --
*Environment:*          Any
*Organization:*         Solitary, Cluster (3-6 Swarms)
*Challenge Rating:*     7
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          --
*Level Adjustment:*     --

_ "They came out of the Mist when the sun went down.  Shelly was the first one to die.  I can still see her body bloating on the roadside..."_

Scorpionflies are horrible alien dragonflies with scorpion stings.  Their venom is quite deadly, and they sting readily if provoked.  And they provoke easy.  They are only rarely spotted, as they only access our world by traveling through gates some unsuspecting fool has opened.  But once they swarm through, they quickly go about setting up nests.

*Distraction (Ex):* Any opponent that begins its turn within a swarm of Scorpionflies must make a DC 18 Fortitude Save or be Nauseated for 1 round (Save DC is Constitution Based).

*Poison (Ex):* Injury, Fortitude DC 18, initial and Secondary Damage 1d6 Con (Save DC is Constitution Based).

*Combat:* Scorpionflies generally sting their victims and retreat.  Swarms are more persistent though, and will repeatedly sting victims to death.

----------


## Bhu

*Face Eater*
                      Tiny Magical Beast
*Hit Dice:*             5d10+10 (37 hp)
*Initiative:*           +1
*Speed:*                30 ft. (6 squares)
*Armor Class:*          21 (+2 Size, +1 Dex, +8 Natural), touch 13, flat-footed 20
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +5/+11
*Attack:*               Claw +9 melee (1d2+2) or Attach +11 (Grapple)
*Full Attack:*          Claw +9 melee (1d2+2) or Attach +11 (Grapple)
*Space/Reach:*          2 1/2 ft./0 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Anesthetic, Attach, Bore
*Special Qualities:*    Dark Vision 60 ft., Scent
*Saves:*                Fort +6, Ref +5, Will +2
*Abilities:*            Str 15, Dex 13, Con 15, Int 1, Wis 12, Cha 2
*Skills:*               Climb +4, Hide +9, Listen +3, Move Silently +3, Spot +3
*Feats:*                Dodge, Mobility
*Environment:*          Any Warm and Underground
*Organization:*         Solitary, Swarm 3-6
*Challenge Rating:*     3
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          6-10 HD (Small)
*Level Adjustment:*     --

_"Some things are better left alone Derek.  I think it's time I tell you why I never go into the swamps east of here.  Forget your friend.  He won't be there when you go in looking for him."_

Face Eaters are small Isopod like arthropods that have iron hard shells.  They typically try to attack sleeping, wounded, or vulnerable prey by attaching themselves to the victims face and boring through it to eat his brain.  They lay their eggs in what's left of the body.  Left alone, they stay to their underground lairs.  But if intruded upon, they will scent track escapees back to their home and set up new nests underground, provided there is a source of fresh water (or at least humid caves).

*Anaesthetic (Ex):* If the Face Eater finds a sleeping victim it will make a Move Silently roll to approach it.  If successful it will then spray anaesthetic into the victims face once it is adjacent.  Creatures immune to poison are immune to this ability.  Range of the spray is 5 feet.  Sprayed creatures must make a DC 14 Fortitude Save (Save DC is Constitution based), or lose all sense of touch for 1d6 rounds.  Effectively it means the victim is immune to pain based effects during this time (such as Symbol of Pain), and damaging or touching him has no chance of waking him up.  He can still make a Listen check vs his opponents Move Silently roll to notice something is going on.

*Attach (Ex):* Face Eaters have a +12 Racial Bonus to Grapple Checks.  If they hit with a Grapple, they attach themselves to the victim.  While attached it loses it's Dexterity Bonus to AC.  To remove it it must be successfully Pinned in a Grapple or take damage that reduces it to less than half it's hp.

*Bore (Ex):* Face Eaters have a drill like radula they use to bore into opponents they've attached themselves to.  If it can maintain being attached to a victim for 4 rounds the victim dies as its brain is pierced (it takes 1d6 piercing damage the first 3 rounds).  This is not instantly fatal to foes with multiple heads; and is useless against constructs, elementals, oozes, plants, and undead.  Targets with DR against piercing attacks will prevent the death effect if the 1d6 damage is low enough for the DR to stop it.

*Combat:* Face Eaters generally only fight unconscious victims.  They will grapple with awake victims, but only as long as they aren't taking any real damage.  If the opponent proves difficult they flee.  If their anesthesia works on a sleeping victim, and it's allies wake up, it will let go and flee.

----------


## Bhu

*Jungle Ghost*
Small Ooze
*Hit Dice:* 1d10+3 (8 hp)
*Initiative:* +0
*Speed:* Flight 30 ft. (6 squares)
*Armor Class:* 11 (+1 Size), touch 11, flat-footed 11
*Base Attack/Grapple:* +0/+4
*Attack:* Grapple +1 melee touch (attach)
*Full Attack:* Grapple +1 melee touch (attach)
*Space/Reach:* 5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:* Attach, Constrict (1d6 acid plus poison plus disease), Grappling
*Special Qualities:* Mindless, Ooze traits, Blindsense 60 ft.
*Saves:* Fort +3, Ref +0, Will +1
*Abilities:* Str 5, Dex 10, Con 16, Int -, Wis 12, Cha 2
*Skills:* -
*Feats:* Weapon Finesse (B)
*Environment:* Warm Forest
*Organization:* Solitary, Pair, Group (3-5), Swarm (10-40)
*Challenge Rating:* 1/2
*Treasure:* None
*Alignment:* Always Neutral
*Advancement:* -
*Level Adjustment:* ---

_"Wee do not go into that part of the jungle kind sir.  if you wish to travel there we will not stop you, but we do not pass by these warning posts."_

In some jungles there are dark corners avoided by even the hardiest of warriors.  Rumors abound of flying apparitions of the dead that devour the living.  The truth is that they are simply large amoeba like predators.  And unfortunately for anyone entering their domain, they tend to be brutally efficient.  The semisolid substance making up their body is the perfect medium for bacterial and viral growth, and grappling one can be dangerous.  Especially since it will start to bore tendrils into your body by sweating an acidic substance at the tips of cilia it extends.  The means by which they fly is unknown at this time, but it doesn't appear to be magical.

*Attach (Ex):* Jungle Ghosts can make a touch attack to attach themselves to opponents, effectively grappling them.  It loses its Dexterity Bonus to AC while attached, and to remove it the opponent must Pin it in a Grapple or do enough damage to kill it (the opponent may Grapple with the Jungle Ghost or strike it with a Light Weapon).

*Constrict(Ex):* Jungle Ghosts do 1d6 acid damage with a successful Grapple check plus the opponent must make 2 Fortitude Saves against Poison and Disease.

*Poison:* Contact, Fortitude DC 13 (Save DC is Constitution based), initial and secondary damage 1d2 Con.

*Disease:* Injury, Fortitude DC 13 (Save DC is Constitution based), incubation period 1 day, damage is 1d2 Str and 1d2 Dex.

*Grappling:* Jungle Ghosts do not take Size penalties to Grapple checks, and have a +4 Racial Bonus to Grapple checks.  They may use Dexterity instead of Strength for Grapple checks.

*Combat:* Jungle Ghosts simply fly up and swarm opponents, grappling as soon as possible.  They have little to no tactical ability, and will flee if damaged badly.  It is thought that some post attack (i.e. infect victims, and wait for the disease/poison to wear them down before attacking again).

----------


## Bhu

*Jungle Ghost Mob*
Gargantuan Ooze
*Hit Dice:* 30d10+90 (255 hp)
*Initiative:* +0
*Speed:* Flight 20 ft. (4 squares)
*Armor Class:* 6 (-4 Size), touch 6, flat-footed 6
*Base Attack/Grapple:* +22/+38
*Attack:* Mob (5d6 and Attach) 
*Full Attack:* Mob (5d6 and Attach) 
*Space/Reach:* 20 ft./0 ft.
*Special Attacks:* Attach, Constrict (1d6 acid plus poison plus disease), Grappling, Expert Grappler, Trample (2d6-3, DC 22)
*Special Qualities:* Mindless, Ooze traits, Mob Anatomy, Blindsense 60 ft.
*Saves:* Fort +12, Ref +9, Will +9
*Abilities:* Str 5, Dex 10, Con 16, Int -, Wis 10, Cha 2
*Skills:* -
*Feats:* Improved Bull Rush (B), Improved Overrun (B)
*Environment:* Warm Forest
*Organization:* Solitary, Pair, or Gang (3-12 mobs)
*Challenge Rating:* 8
*Treasure:* None
*Alignment:* Always Neutral
*Advancement:* -
*Level Adjustment:* ---

See DMG 2, page 59 for Mob traits

"You were fools to go into the jungle when we told you not to.  And now you have led them back.  We will be gone when they arrive, but as a reward for costing us all that we have, we will leave you here for them.  With your limbs broken so you cannot lead them elsewhere."

*Attach (Ex):* Jungle Ghosts can make a touch attack to attach themselves to opponents, effectively grappling them. In the case of Jungle Ghost Mobs, anything subjected to their Mob attack is also Attached. It loses its Dexterity Bonus to AC while attached, and to remove it the opponent must Pin it in a Grapple or do enough damage to kill it (the opponent may Grapple with the Jungle Ghost or strike it with a Light Weapon).

*Constrict(Ex):* Jungle Ghosts do 1d6 acid damage with a successful Grapple check plus the opponent must make 2 Fortitude Saves against Poison and Disease.

*Poison:* Contact, Fortitude DC 28 (Save DC is Constitution based), initial and secondary damage 1d2 Con.

*Disease:* Injury, Fortitude DC 28 (Save DC is Constitution based), incubation period 1 day, damage is 1d2 Str and 1d2 Dex.

*Expert Grappler (Ex):* A mob can maintain a grapple without penalty and still make attacks against other targets (normally, attacking other targets while grappling imposes a -20 penalty on grapple checks). A mob is never considered flat-footed while grappling.

*Trample (Ex):* A mob that simply moves over a creature and doesnt end its movement with that creature in one of its occupied squares can trample the creature. A trampled creature takes damage equal to 2d6 points + 1-1/2 times the mobs Strength modifier. The victim can either make an attack of opportunity against the mob or make a Reflex save(DC 25 + the mobs Str modifier) to take half damage.

*Grappling:* Jungle Ghosts do not take Size penalties to Grapple checks, and have a +4 Racial Bonus to Grapple checks.  They may use Dexterity instead of Strength for Grapple checks.

*Combat:* Jungle Ghosts simply fly up and swarm opponents, grappling as soon as possible.  They have little to no tactical ability, and will flee if damaged badly.  It is thought that some post attack (i.e. infect victims, and wait for the disease/poison to wear them down before attacking again).

----------


## Bhu

Mangai ("Mosquito Harlots") are vermin magically enhanced to be able to disguise themselves as humans well enough to infiltrate human society.  Most are ambush predators who pose as attractive women, or infirm/vulnerable people long enough to get someone to approach close enough to ambush.  They are often used by spellcasters who despise human society as minions.  It's rumored that the first Mangai (which is where the name came from) were servants of a sorceress known as the Mother of Mosquitos.  Whether minion or creation, it required several wars to exterminate the Mothers forces.


*MANGAI*

*Template Type:* Mangai is an Acquired Template that can be applied to any Vermin of Small to Large size.

*Size and Type:* Size is unchanged, Type becomes Magical Beast. 

*Hit Dice:* Unchanged.

*Speed:* Unchanged.

*Armor Class:* Natural Armor Class Bonus increases by +2.

*Attacks:* Recalculate BAB due to Type change.

*Damage:* Unchanged.

*Special Attacks:* Retains all attacks of the Base Creature.

*Special Qualities:* Retains all Special Qualities (except Mindless) of the Base Creature, and gains the following:

Mimicry (Su): The Mangai may cast Alter Self at will.  Caster level is equal to Hit Dice or 5, whichever is greater.  Unlike normal, this can only be used to become Humanoids, not Magical Beasts.

*Saves:* Recalculate Saving Throws due to Type change.

*Abilities:* +2 Str, +4 Dex, +2 Wis.  Int and Cha become 2d6+6.

*Skills:* Recalculate skills due to Type change and loss of Mindless.  Class skills are Balance, Bluff, Climb, Disguise, Hide, Listen, Move Silently, Search, Spot, and Survival (along with any skills it has Racial bonuses in).  Retains any Racial Bonuses from the Base Creature.

*Feats:* Now that it is no longer mindless the Base Creature gains a number of Feats as normal per it's Hit Dice level.

*Environment:* Unchanged.

*Organization:* Solitary.

*Challenge Rating:* +1

*Treasure:* Standard.

*Alignment:* Remains Neutral, but many eventually become either Neutral Evil, Lawful Neutral, or Chaotic Neutral.

*Advancement:* Unchanged or By Character Class.

*Level Adjustment:* ---


_"I was patrolling the docks with my partner when we came across a woman in rags who looked like had been savagely attacked.  She was covered in blood and bruises.  Or at least that's what we thought until we got closer.  The blood she was covered in wasn't hers, and the bruises were some sort of skin disease or something.  Her arms and face split open, and she tore Paul into ribbons.  It was like she was a huge thing hiding in a human skin.  Some kind of insect..."_

Despite the name, any giant arthropod (and most invertebrates really) can become a Mangai.  How isn't known.  They appear to be intelligent, and actively malicious.  Besides food and finding a mate they don't seem to have many concerns or goals.  Or at least none that anyone knows of.  The Mangai "spin" or create a fleshy disguise meant to make them look human at a distance.  Once they're close the disguise is shed, and they attack.


*The Mantis Woman*
                      Large Magical Beast (Mantis with Mangai Template)
*Hit Dice:*             4d8+12 (30 hp)
*Initiative:*           +5
*Speed:*                20 ft. (4 squares), Fly 40 ft. (poor)
*Armor Class:*          18 (-1 Size, +1 Dex, +8 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 17
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +4/+13
*Attack:*               Claw +8 melee (1d8+5)
*Full Attack:*          2 Claws +8 melee (1d8+5) and 1 Bite +3 melee (1d6+2)
*Space/Reach:*          10 ft./10 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Improved Grab
*Special Qualities:*    Dark Vision 60', Mimicry
*Saves:*                Fort +6, Ref +5, Will +4
*Abilities:*            Str 21, Dex 12, Con 14, Int 12, Wis 16, Cha 12
*Skills:*               Bluff +5, Climb +5, Disguise +5, Hide +8, Listen +6, Move Silently +5, Spot +8, Survival +6
*Feats:*                Improved Initiative, Improved Toughness
*Environment:*          Temperate Forests
*Organization:*         Solitary
*Challenge Rating:*     4
*Treasure:*             Standard
*Alignment:*            Neutral Evil
*Advancement:*          By Character Class
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

*Improved Grab (Ex):* If the Mantis Woman hits with her Claw attack she can immediately make a Grapple Check as a Free Action without provoking an Attack of Opportunity.  If successful she does her Bite damage each round the Grapple is maintained.

*Mimcry (Su):* The Mantis Woman may cast Alter Self at will.  Caster level is 5.

*Skills:* The Mantis Woman has a +4 Racial Bonus has a +4 Racial Bonus to Hide and Spot checks.

*Combat:* The Mantis Woman tries to appear as a diseased beggar, or helpless woman who has been attacked to lure victims close.  Then she grapples and tries to finish them off as quickly as possible, fleeing if the battle attracts attention.



Xie Mangai are fairly greedy and lustful, and often forget they were crabs.  They often appear as loud, drunken women of wealth.



Wu Mangai are said to be powerful medicine after they have been killed, and ground into powder.  They most often pretend to be children, or very small people to lure targets.  It is said that adults killing them for their venom has led them to sympathize with human children, sometimes to the point of protecting them.



Xie Mangai are eagerly sought for their venom, and this has made them brutal killers.  If one even thinks it has been identified, it has no qualms about manifesting it's true form and murdering all present.  



Huangfeng Mangai are renowned for their cruelty, and even other Mangai do not care for them.  They often appear to be women with an aggressive expression.



Lang Zhu Mangai are opportunists who will gleefully hunt down other Mangai.  _If_ you can find them, make peaceful contact, and give them whatever unthinkable reward they require.



Zhizhu Mangai are obsessed with eternal youth, beauty and wealth.  They often target the rich.  Some have lived long lives as a nobleman's wife.



Tanglang Mangai are often serial killers who prey on men.  Unlike other Mangai, they rarely pretend to be human and live with them.   They are predators who disguise themselves as their prey until they get a meal.  They usually appear as vulnerable women in order to attract their preferred food.



Chan Mangai are sought out for their knowledge (and their rumored secret of immortality).

----------


## Bhu

*One Eyed One Horned Flying Purple People Eater*
                      Small Aberration 
*Hit Dice:*             5d8+15 (37 hp)
*Initiative:*           +2
*Speed:*                20 ft. (4 squares), Fly 80 ft. (Good)
*Armor Class:*          17 (+1 Size, +2 Dex, +4 Natural), touch 13, flat-footed 15
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +3/+4
*Attack:*               Claw +9 melee (1d3+5)
*Full Attack:*          2 Claws +9 melee (1d3+5) and 1 Bite +4 melee (1d4+2)
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Bard Abilities
*Special Qualities:*    Dark Vision 60 ft.
*Saves:*                Fort +4, Ref +3, Will +6
*Abilities:*            Str 20, Dex 14, Con 16, Int 14, Wis 14, Cha 16
*Skills:*               Balance +10, Climb +10, Intimidate +10, Knowledge (Geography) +6, Perform (Horn) +11
*Feats:*                Fly-by Attack, Hover
*Environment:*          Any
*Organization:*         Solitary
*Challenge Rating:*     4
*Treasure:*             Standard
*Alignment:*            Usually Neutral Evil
*Advancement:*          By Character Class (usually Bard)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_"Bert...what the Hell are we doing here?  What the hell is that thing?  Why does no one else seem to be worried?"_

OEOHFPPE's are strange alien beings that have an affinity for music, and seem to be anthropophagous in regards to a race or purple skinned humanoids.  Rarely seen, they are described as having a growth on their head similar to a horn like instrument, large fangs and claws, pointed nose and ears, and their feet are pigeon toed.  Much of their culture that doesn't involve eating purple people revolves around music.  They appear to understand and speak Common.

*Bard Abilities:* OEOHFPPE's may use Bardic Music as if they had levels in Bard equal to their Hit Dice.  If they later take levels in Bard these stack with their Hit Dice for purposes of determining their abilities.

*Combat:* OEOHFPPE's tend to use their Bard abilities if they have the option.  Otherwise they just fly in and use tooth and claw.  They tend to be less spectacular tacticians and more crazed flailing types when it comes to melee.

----------


## Bhu

*The Martenses*
                      Small Humanoid
*Hit Dice:*             2d8+2 (11 hp)
*Initiative:*           +2
*Speed:*                30 ft. (6 squares), Burrow 10 ft.
*Armor Class:*          14 (+1 Size, +2 Dex, +1 Natural), touch 13, flat-footed 12
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +1/-5
*Attack:*               Bite +4 melee (1d4-2)
*Full Attack:*          1 Bite +4 melee (1d4-2) and 2 Claws -1 melee (1d3-2)
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Frightful Presence, Rage
*Special Qualities:*    Darkvision 60 ft., Low-light Vision, Scent
*Saves:*                Fort +1, Ref +5, Will +1
*Abilities:*            Str 7, Dex 14, Con 12, Int 6, Wis 12, Cha 9
*Skills:*               Climb +6, Hide +6, Jump +6, Listen +2, Move Silently +4, Spot +2, Survival +2
*Feats:*                Weapon Finesse
*Environment:*          Underground
*Organization:*         Solitary, Pair, Hunting Party (3-9), or Family 10-100)
*Challenge Rating:*     1
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Neutral, with some tendencies toward Chaos or Evil
*Advancement:*          3 HD (Small), 4-6 HD (Medium)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

"God knows how many there werethere must have been thousands. To see the stream of them in that faint, intermittent lightning was shocking. When they had thinned out enough to be glimpsed as separate organisms, I saw that they were dwarfed, deformed hairy devils or apesmonstrous and diabolic caricatures of the monkey tribe. They were so hideously silent; there was hardly a squeal when one of the last stragglers turned with the skill of long practice to make a meal in accustomed fashion on a weaker companion. Others snapped up what it left and ate with slavering relish. Then, in spite of my daze of fright and disgust, my morbid curiosity triumphed; and as the last of the monstrosities oozed up alone from that nether world of unknown nightmare, I drew my automatic pistol and shot it under cover of the thunder."  The Lurking Fear-H.P. Lovecraft

"According to my ancestor, the Martense home was founded in 1670 by Gerrit Martense.  He deliberately chose Tempest Mountain, in the Catskills, for it's remoteness, and it's 'unusual scenery.'  The Martenses were well known for two things: Hatred of the British and all who accepted their rule, and having one blue and one brown eye.  My great grandfather further reports that the Martenses began intermarrying with the local squatter population, which he describes in terms of the utmost bigotry.  He ascribes to the Martenses rumors of degeneracy and incest, right up until their disappearance in 1816.  He led several attempts to determine whether the rumors of monsters in the old Martense home were true, leading to the death of all who went with him, before he contacted the Federal government and had the top of the mountain dynamited."

"FBI records show that they assumed this would be the end of things, but I am not so certain.  Great grandfather described the creatures who used to be the Martense family as being 'in the thousands', and while I can allow that some of that is hyperbole due to fear, certain other things he mentions disturb me.  He blithely assumes that inbreeding results in the Martenses gorilla-like appearance, but I doubt that such would be possible in just over a century, nor do I think they could 'devolve' in that time due to environmental factors.  But my ancestor also mentions 'a blasphemous abnormality from hells nethermost craters; a nameless, shapeless abomination which no mind could fully grasp and no pen even partly describe' and 'mound-like tentacles groping from underground nuclei of polypous perversion'.  He also describes many trees as being 'over-nourished' or in some ways fearsome.  I believe something else lies beneath the surface of Tempest Mountain.  The Old Ones are well known for corrupting life about their resting places, and it would explain the appearance of the surrounding woods, the lack of animal life, and the transformation of the Martense family.  I believe the Martenses made contact with this theoretical entity, and received the usual cursed gifts offered by their kind: a form of biological immortality in exchange for shedding their humanity.  I would also point out that despite their being graveyards on the mountain, and many small communities, they lack any sign of Ghouls, which are ubiquitous elsewhere.  Despite their frenzy, the smaller Martenses would be no match for the Ghouls, which suggests something keeps them at bay.  Furthermore, despite being described as cannibals, there is not enough biomass to feed such an army, and the Martenses only come forth during the summer storms.  Even were there truly thousands of them, they would cannibalize each other into extinction.  The murders ascribed to them mention bodies being gnawed on, but not devoured.  I believe the Martenses feed out of habit, but no longer find it strictly necessary.  I believe they are kept alive, and in thrall. to whatever being lives under the mountain and calls down the lightning."

*Frightful Presence (Ex):* There are three ways to do this.  In a traditional DnD campaign, when the Martense-kin attacks an opponent whose Hit Dice is equal to or less than it's own, that opponent must make a DC 12 Willpower Save (Save DC is Charisma Based with a +2 Racial Modifier) or be Shaken for the duration of the encounter.  In a more horror oriented campaign he would make the same Save or be Frightened for 1d3 rounds.  In a traditional cosmic horror campaign you would use some sort of Sanity rules (which I will have below, the Martense-kin causing a loss of 0/1d3 Sanity for an individual or 1/1d6+1 for the horde).

*Rage (Ex):* A Martense exposed to  thunder or lightning, or that is injured in combat, flies into a berserk rage on its next turn, clawing and biting madly until either it or its opponent is dead. It gains +4 to Strength, +4 to Constitution, and -2 to Armor Class. The creature cannot end its rage voluntarily. 

*Skills:* The Martense-kin gain a +4 Racial Bonus on Climb and Jump Checks, and can use their Dexterity or Strength Modifier for Climb and Jump Checks.

*Combat:* The Martenses rely heavily on stealth, and often make a game of killing individuals next to their sleeping companions.  They are often driven into a frenzy by the summer storms, and will often destroy all in their path during this time.

----------


## Metastachydium

> *Scorpionfly Swarm*
> 
> ()
> 
> *Special Qualities:*    Half Damage from Slashing and Piercing, Dark Vision 60 ft. Swarm Traits, Vermin Traits
> 
> ()
> 
> *Skills:*              --
> *Feats:*                --


These should be either Mindless or have feats/skills.




> *Face Eater*
>                       Tiny Magical Beast
> *Hit Dice:*             5d8+10 (32 hp)


Okay. I can tell you were not sure whether you'd like to make these vermin or magical beasts (more on that later). If the latter, they should have d10s and 37 hp.




> *Initiative:*           +2


DEX is a 13; this should be a +1 unless I'm missing some key detail.




> *Special Qualities:*    Mindless, Dark Vision 60 ft., Scent


Here we go again. These are not Mindless (unless they are _considered_ mindless for the purpose of interacting with stuff, but I don't see that noted anywhere).




> *Skills:*               Climb +5, Hide +9, Listen +3, Move Silently +3, Spot +3


I count 9 skill points spent out of 8. Also, I accidentally deleted that bit, but the Ref save should be +5 (I'm guessing that the poor Ref's also from a previous vermin version).




> *Bore (Ex):* Face Eaters have a drill like radula they use to bore into opponents they've attached themselves to.  If it can maintain being attached to a victim for 3 rounds the victim dies as its brain is pierced (it takes 1d6 piercing damage the first 2 rounds).  This is not instantly fatal to foes with multiple heads; and is useless against constructs, elementals, oozes, plants, and undead.


3 rounds of undisturbed sleep and the brain's gone, no save, no nothing? That's a bit harsh on a CR 3 critter.




> *Jungle Ghost*
> 
> ()
> 
> *Special Qualities:* Mindless, Ooze traits
> 
> ()
> 
> *Abilities:* Str 5, Dex 10, Con 16, Int 1, Wis 12, Cha 2
> ...


I presume it's not supposed to have that INT score?





> *Poison:* Contact, Fortitude DC 14, initial and secondary damage 1d2 Con.
> 
> *Disease:* Injury, Fortitude DC 14, incubation period 1 day, damage is 1d2 Str and 1d2 Dex.


What are the DCs derived from? CON-based would give 13s.




> *Skills:* Jungle Ghosts do not take Size penalties to Grapple checks, and have a +4 Racial Bonus to Grapple checks.  They may use Dexterity instead of Strength for Grapple checks.


The way I see it, grappling is not a skill use. I'd relocate this stuff to under Attach.





> Mangai 
> 
> ()
> 
> Mimicry (Su): The Mangai may cast Alter Self at will.  Caster level is equal to Hit Dice or 5, whichever is greater.


Hm. This sounds more Sp than Su to me and it doesn't account for "fleshy humanoid disguises shed before attacking" (Alter Self's typelocked and all that).




> *Abilities:* +2 Str, +4 Dex, +2 Wis.  Int and Cha become 2d6+6.


I get the part with CHA, but why do these things need 8+ INT?




> *One Eyed One Horned Flying Purple People Eater*


Man. I like these! (Are purple people just people who happen to be purple, by the way?)




> *Skills:*               Balance +10, Climb +10, Intimidate +10, Knowledge (Geography) +5, Perform (Horn) +11


I checked and double-checked; one skill point is unaccounted for.




> *The Martenses*
> 
> ()
> 
> *Saves:*                Fort +2, Ref +5, Will +1


Fort should be +1 (if poor) or +4 (if good).

----------


## Bhu

> These should be either Mindless or have feats/skills.


 I've really gotta be more careful when I change Types/ Hit Dice...I have altered the flawed statblocks.






> I get the part with CHA, but why do these things need 8+ INT?


 They're based loosely on the Jing from Chinese myth, and since they live among humans pretending to be one of us (to the extent of getting married to bolster their disguise) they needed a comparable Int.  The Jing are generally pretty crafty.






> Man. I like these! (Are purple people just people who happen to be purple, by the way?)


  The song doesn't say, but I may make them anyway.

----------


## Metastachydium

> They're based loosely on the Jing from Chinese myth, and since they live among humans pretending to be one of us (to the extent of getting married to bolster their disguise) they needed a comparable Int.  The Jing are generally pretty crafty.


Ah, I see. I'm still not sure how the fleshy disguise thing actually works, though. Like I said, Alter Self is unlikely to produce the desired effect.




> The song doesn't say, but I may make them anyway.


You made me curious! Fire away if and when you have the time!

----------


## Bhu

> Ah, I see. I'm still not sure how the fleshy disguise thing actually works, though. Like I said, Alter Self is unlikely to produce the desired effect.


I added the text 'Unlike normal, this can only be used to become Humanoids, not Magical Beasts.'  In short the mechanics do exactly what I need them to do, I just needed to reskin them.

----------


## Metastachydium

> I added the text 'Unlike normal, this can only be used to become Humanoids, not Magical Beasts.'  In short the mechanics do exactly what I need them to do, I just needed to reskin them.


Yeah, that works. A wording such as "Mangai are considered to be Humanoids rather than Magical Beasts for the purpose of determining what forms they can assume throught the use of this ability" would mayhaps be more elegant, but it works.

----------


## Bhu

*The Burning Dead*

The Burning Dead is an Inherited Template that can be applied to any corporeal Living Creature with an Intelligence of 2 or less.  They are victims of a fiery death whose anger will not let them rest.

*Size and Type:* Size is unchanged, Type changes to Undead with the Fire Subtype.

*Hit Dice:* All current and future Hit Dice become d12's.

*Speed:* Unchanged

*Armor Class:* The Base Creatures Natural Armor Bonus increases by +3.

*Attacks:* Unchanged, do not recalculate BAB due to type change.

*Damage:* Unchanged.

*Special Attacks*: Retains all Special Abilities of the Base Creature, plus gains the following:

Burning Death (Su): All of the Base creatures natural attacks do an additional 1d6 fire damage.  If they successfully critical with a natural attack it does an additional 2d6 fire damage.  Anything the Burning Dead strikes must make a Reflex Save (DC is 10 plus 1/2 HD plus Charisma Modifier) or catch fire and take 1d6 fire damage (see heat dangers and catching fire rules on page 303 of the DMG).  The squares occupied by the Burning Dead are considered to be on fire, and will continue to burn even after the Burning Dead has left so long as there is fuel.  In addition, roll 1d20 for each adjacent square.  If it rolls less than 15, it catches fire also.

Spawn (Su): Any living corporeal being with an Intelligence of 2 or less killed by a Burning Dead becomes one, and rises again 24 hours later.

*Special Qualities*: Retains all Special Qualities of the Base Creature, plus gains the following:

Healing Flame (Ex): Fire damage restores the Burning Deads hit points instead of doing damage.  In other words if a Fireball would normally do 30 points of damage, the Burning Dead instead heals 30 points of damage.

Immunities (Ex): Burning Dead are immune to Cold damage.

DR 10/Good and Magic

*Saves:* The Base Creature gains a +4 Profane Bonus to Fortitude Saves.  Remember to recalculate Saves due to Type Change.

*Abilities*: +2 Dex, +6 Cha.  Being Undead the Burning Dead have no Constitution Score.

*Skills:* Unchanged.

*Feats:* Unchanged.

*Environment:* unchanged.

*Organization:* Solitary, Pair, or Group (3-6)

*Challenge Rating*: +1

*Treasure:* None.

*Alignment:* Always Chaotic Evil.

*Advancement:* Unchanged.

*Level Adjustment*: ---



Example of creature using template here:

*Smelting Horn* Triceratops/Burning Dead Template
                      Huge Undead (Fire)
*Hit Dice:*             16d12+12 (116 hp)
*Initiative:*           +0
*Speed:*                30 ft. (6 squares)
*Armor Class:*          22 (-2 Size, +14 Natural), touch 8, flat-footed 22
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +12/+30
*Attack:*               Gore +20 melee (2d8+15 plus 2d6 Fire)
*Full Attack:*          Gore +20 melee (2d8+15 plus 2d6 Fire)
*Space/Reach:*          15 ft./10 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Powerful Charge, Trample 2d12+15 plus 1d6 Fire, Burning Death, Spawn
*Special Qualities:*    Low Light Vision, Scent, Healing Flame, Immune to Cold and Fire, DR 10/Good and Magic
*Saves:*                Fort +11, Ref +5, Will +11
*Abilities:*            Str 30, Dex 11, Con -, Int 1, Wis 12, Cha 13
*Skills:*               Listen +13, Spot +12
*Feats:*                Alertness, Great Fortitude, Toughness x4
*Environment:*          Any
*Organization:*         Solitary, Pair, or Group (3-6)
*Challenge Rating:*     10
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Chaotic Evil
*Advancement:*          17-32 HD (Huge), 33-48 HD (Gargantuan)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---


*Burning Death (Su)*: All of Smelting Horns natural attacks do an additional 1d6 fire damage.  If he successfully criticals with a natural attack it does an additional 2d6 fire damage.  Anything Smelting Horn strikes must make a DC 19 Reflex Save or catch fire and take 1d6 fire damage (see heat dangers and catching fire rules on page 303 of the DMG).  The squares occupied by Smelting Horn are considered to be on fire, and will continue to burn even after he has left so long as there is fuel.  In addition, roll 1d20 for each adjacent square.  If it rolls less than 15, it catches fire also.

Spawn (Su): Any living corporeal being with an Intelligence of 2 or less killed by Smelting Horn becomes a Burning Dead within 24 hours.

*Healing Flame (Ex)*: Fire damage restores Smelting Horns hit points instead of doing damage.  In other words if a Fireball would normally do 30 points of damage, Smelting Horn instead heals 30 points of damage.

*Immunities (Ex)*: Burning Dead are immune to Cold and Fire damage.

*Powerful Charge (Ex)*: On a successful charge Smelting Horns Gore Attack does 4d8+20 plus 1d6 Fire damage.

*Trample (Ex)*: DC 28 Reflex Save, Save DC is Str Based.

"There was a three horned reptilian beast that used to haunt the woods at the edge of town.  It suffered from some sort of fire in the brain, and would attack us on sight if we ventured into it's territory.  Late one year, something fell from the sky, and lit the forest afire.  It killed many animals, and the years after were lean for hunting.  I was leading a party when we came across the body of the three horn.  It had perished in the fire, or so we had thought.  When we got close, it's blackened corpse rose and fire began to pour from within it.  That is why we are preparing to leave, and found our village anew.  It's taken too many people, and we don't seem to be able to stop it."

----------


## Bhu

https://i0.wp.com/pigswithcrayons.co...pg?w=750&ssl=1

*Drei*
                      Huge Aberration
*Hit Dice:*             15d8+150 (217 hp)
*Initiative:*           +4
*Speed:*                60 ft. (12 squares)
*Armor Class:*          23 (-2 Size, +15 Profane), touch 23, flat-footed 23
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +11/+29
*Attack:*               Flense +19 melee (2d8+10/18-20)
*Full Attack:*          Flense +19 melee (2d8+10/18-20)
*Space/Reach:*          15 ft./10 ft.
*Special Attacks:*     Flense, Disconcerting Appearance, Aura of Terror
*Special Qualities:*    Dark Vision 60', Immune to Gravity, Size is No Weakness, Regeneration 10, Energy Resistance 10 (Acid, Cold, Fire, Electricity, and Sonic), DR 15/Lawful and Magic, SR 20, Planar Adaptation
*Saves:*                Fort +15, Ref +5, Will +11
*Abilities:*            Str 30, Dex 10, Con 30, Int 6, Wis 15, Cha 18
*Skills:*           Concentrate +15, Intimidate +9, Listen +6, Spot +6
*Feats:*                Ability Focus (Aura of Terror), Greater Powerful Charge, Improved Initiative, Intimidating Strike, Powerful Charge, Reckless Charge, 
*Environment:*          The Far Realms
*Organization:*         Unique
*Challenge Rating:*     12
*Treasure:*             Standard
*Alignment:*            Always Chaotic Neutral
*Advancement:*          16-30 HD (Huge)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---


_"What...is that thing...and why does that look like paw's scythe attached to it?"_

Originally the Drei was an animal of some sort from the Prime Material in it's dim infancy (obviously a ceratopsian is the likeliest possibility) that wandered through a Gate into the Realms outside our own.  Against all odds it survived and flourished there, changing bit by bit as it traveled from place to place, eventually coming to the Far Realms.  Once there it panicked blindly, and attacked what would later be known as one of the nascent Lords of that place. 

Enraged that a being from our Plane of existence had injured it (even if only temporarily and to no real effect) the Lord spent millenia crafting changes in the poor beast, and then spat it back out onto the Prime material to wreak it's revenge upon us by proxy. 

It is since become known as the Drei (though the origin of that term is lost to tme), and it travels back and forth as it pleases wreaking havok and terrorizing all in it's path as it goes.

*Flense (Ex)*: Attacks from the Drei's natural weapons do untyped damage, and threaten a critical on an 18-20.

*Disconcerting Appearance (Su)*: The Drei's appearance alters significantly from one moment to the next, and the alteration is different for each viewer, sometimes incorporating elements of their past.  Perhaps they see objects they once knew composing parts of it, or see the flesh boil away to mimic wounds they once suffered or that were inflicted on someone they knew.  All opponents fighting the Drei take a -2 penalty on all rolls while they can see it, regardless of distance (this includes viewing it by scrying or other Divination spells).

*Aura of Terror (Su)*: Any being within 60' of the Drei cannot use an ability or take an Action requiring Concentration unless it makes a DC 23 Will Save for each attempt (Save DC is Cha based).

*Immune to Gravity (Ex)*: The Drei may alter how gravity affects it at will as a Free Action, effectively being able to walk on any surface or even upside down as though it's current location had Subjective Directional Gravity (see Manual of the Planes).

*Size is no Weakness (Ex)*:  At the beginning of each round as a Free Action the Drei may decide to change all Size Penalties into Bonuses and vice versa (it's actual Size Class does not change).  It remains this way until the Drei changes it back as a Free Action.

*Regeneration (Ex)* The Regeneration ability of the Drei does not work against damage done by weapons doing Axiomatic damage/spells with the Lawful descriptor.

*Planar Adaptation (Su)*: The Drei appears to adapt to the Traits of any Plane it encounters as if it were a Native.  It permanently has the benefits of a Planar Tolerance spell.

*Combat*: The Drei generally relies on it's sheer unnerving presence to distract it's enemies while it rushes in for the kill.  Despite this apparant lack of tactics it is not quite a dumb brute any longer, and does sometimes employ simple tactics and ambushes.

----------


## Bhu

http://www.moddb.com/games/interstel...shark-creature

*Pale Shark*
                      Large Undead 
*Hit Dice:*             8d12+8 (60 hp)
*Initiative:*           +6
*Speed:*                40 ft. (8 squares), Swim 40 ft.
*Armor Class:*          21 (-1 Size, +2 Dex, +10 Natural), touch 11, flat-footed 19
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +4/+12
*Attack:*               Bite +7 melee (1d8+6 plus wounding and toxin)
*Full Attack:*          Bite +7 melee (1d8+6 plus wounding and toxin)
*Space/Reach:*          10 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Toxic Bite, Weakening Bite
*Special Qualities:*    Darkvision 60', Undead Traits, Dark Vitality, DR 5/Slashing, Blood Healing 5, Sense Living 60', Blind, Blood Scent
*Saves:*                Fort +5, Ref +4, Will +8
*Abilities:*            Str 18, Dex 15, Con -, Int 5, Wis 15, Cha 12
*Skills:*               Climb +11, Jump +12, Listen +8, Move Silently +6, Swim +12
*Feats:*                Alertness, Great Fortitude, Improved Initiative, Track (B)
*Environment:*          Any Aquatic and any coastal lands
*Organization:*         Solitary or Frenzy (6-10)
*Challenge Rating:*     6
*Treasure:*             Standard
*Alignment:*            Usually Chaotic Evil
*Advancement:*          9-16 HD (Large), 17-32 HD (Huge), 33-64 HD (Gargantuan)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_"The walking Dead aren't always former people Bobbie..."_

Pale Sharks are hideous mutants, corrupted by vile magics and alchemical processes into monstrosities that made them elite hunter-killers, able to track prey by land or sea.  At least that's what everyone believes.  And it may even be true.  Rumors claim they were originally large sharks magically engineered to survive on land as well as the ocean for use as minions of some sort.  And when a rift to the Far Realms opened near their creators castle, he sent them in as backup for a batch of mercenaries hired to find out what was up, and close the rift down.  None of the mercs came back.  But the sharks did, mutated worse than ever.  They quickly dried out and died on returning to this plane.

And if they had stayed dead that would've been the end of it.  After a few days they simply got back up and decided to start eating again, this time without the controlling hand of their creator.  More seem to be found every year, and it's wondered if they are an undead species capable of reproducing ...

*Toxic Bite (Su)*: The Pale Sharks Bite is incredibly toxic, riddled with poisonous micro-organisms.  Injury, DC 18 Fortitude Save (Save DC is Constitution Based with a +4 Racial Bonus to the Save DC), Initial and Secondary Damage 1d6 Constitution.  If the victim dies before the Constitution damage is healed, they rise again in 1d6 hours as a Zombie (presuming they haven't been eaten).  These Zombies do not attack Pale Sharks and vice versa.

*Weakening Bite (Ex)*: If the Pale Shark successfully bites an opponent they take 1d4 Temporary Strength damage.

*Dark Vitality (Ex)*: The Pale Shark gains it's Charisma Modifier as Bonus hit points, and as a modifier to Fortitude Saves.

*Blood Healing (Ex)*: This works like Fast Healing, but only on rounds in which the Pale Shark has successfully bitten someone, or is bathing in/drinking blood (usually by eating the corpse of victims).

*Sense Living (Su)*: Pale Sharks can sense all living beings within 60' as if they had Blindsight.

*Blind*: Pale Sharks are Blind, with immunity to gaze attacks, visual effects, illusions, and other attack forms that rely on sight.

*Blood Scent*: Pale Sharks have the Scent ability listed in the MM, but in addition can Scent blood from up to 3 miles away.

*Skills*: Pale Sharks have a +8 Racial Bonus to Jump and Swim Checks, and can always Take 10 on a Swim Check.  They also have a +4 Racial Bonus to Climb Checks.

*Combat*: Pale Sharks are ambush predators who try sneaking up behind victims they spot, before pouncing and biting away, often trying to eat prey before it has died.  They are somewhat fearless and will fight to their destruction if necessary.  They are sometimes accompanied by small bands of zombies as well, but for unknown reasons they only tolerate zombies they themselves have created.

----------


## Bhu

*Pale Horse*
                      Large Magical Beast
*Hit Dice:*             6d10+24 (57 hp)
*Initiative:*           +2 
*Speed:*                50 ft. (10 squares)
*Armor Class:*          16 (-1 Size, +2 Dex, +5 Natural), touch 11, flat-footed 14
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +6/+14
*Attack:*               Hoof +9 melee (1d6+4)
*Full Attack:*          2 Hooves +9 melee (1d6+4) and 1 Bite +4 melee (1d4+2)
*Space/Reach:*          10 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Aura of Death
*Special Qualities:*    Dark Vision 60 ft., Scent, Immune to Fear effects
*Saves:*                Fort +9, Ref +7, Will +4
*Abilities:*            Str 18, Dex 14, Con 18, Int 4, Wis 14, Cha 14
*Skills:*               Listen +7, Spot +6
*Feats:*                Ability Focus (Aura of Death), Endurance, Run
*Environment:*          Any Plains
*Organization:*         Solitary
*Challenge Rating:*     5
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          7-12 HD (Large)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

"Always remember my son, if you see any horses in the forest that seems haggard and colorless, do not approach it.  It does things to the mind."

Pale Horses are an interesting case of magic driven evolution.  With the prodigious amount of magical beasts that are predators, some horses adopted magical feat as a defense.  Pale Horses appear as white horses large enough to be warhorses, at least until approached.  The closer one gets to a Pale Horse, the more off it seems.  Subtle things seem wrong about it, and the pulse begins to quicken.  By the time a would be predator has gotten close to one (if he can), it's pulse is racing and it feels ill, and the horse seems like some hallucinatory nightmare.   One would think this would be a boon, but few can use them as mounts as the supernatural terror they engender can cause heart failure if exposed to it long enough.  Anyone brave enough to domesticate a Pale Horse will have to care for it himself, and live far from other people...

*Aura of Death:* Each round, any creature within 60 ft. of a Pale Horse must make a DC 17 Willpower Save (the save DC is Charisma-based). Even if the opponent succeeds, he must still make another Save every subsequent round while he is within range of the Horse's Aura, and the Save DC increases by 1 with each 10 ft. closer the opponent moves towards the Horse thereafter.  The effects depend on how badly the opponent fails the Save.  If he fails the Save by one or so, he is Shaken for 1 round.  If he fails the Save by 2-3, he is Nauseated 1 round.  If he fails by 4-6 points, he is Frightened for 1d4 rounds.  If he fails by 7-9 points he is Paralyzed in fear for 1d6 rounds.  If he fails by 10 or more not only is he Paralyzed, but he takes 2d6 damage from heart problems.  This is a Mind-Affecting Fear Effect.

*Combat:* Pale Horses rarely have to fight, but like any herd mammal the males are quite territorial.  Usually their Aura warns of anything other than other Pale Horses though.

----------


## Bhu

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Penanggalan

https://www.atlasobscura.com/article...gy-penanggalan

http://www.theparanormalguide.com/blog/penanggalan

https://medium.com/@madisonplantier1...n-be773475bbe7

https://bogleech.com/blather-vampires.html

*Penanggalan*

Penanggalan is an Acquired Template that can be applied to any female Humanoid spellcaster.  At night they separate their head and entrails from their body, and fly through the air to devour womens blood, newborn children, fetuses, and their mothers entrails with their long tongue (which in some stories is invisible).  How exactly this happens varies from story to story.  In one case it is said to be a woman practicing black magic who takes a ritual bath in vinegar up to her neck.  Sometimes it's a curse.  One story is of a woman being decapitated during a ritual bath in vinegar.  It is most commonly said that a woman can undergo a magic ritual for either power or eternal beauty, but she must observe a vegetarian diet for 40 days.  If she fails, she becomes a Penanggalan.  Some stories say it's a woman who died in childbirth, but the Penanggalan doesn't appear to be Undead.  In yet another story, an ugly young woman rejected by her village goes on a rampage, killing all the villages pregnant women.  In revenge, the villagers tied her head to a tree, and her legs to a bull.  When they coerced the bull to charge, it tore her apart, and she resurrected as a Demon.

During the day they appear as beautiful women employed as midwives (they use the job to hunt for prey). At night their head separates from their neck, trailing their liver, lungs and intestines which twinkle like fireflies in the darkness.  Her teeth change to sharp fangs, like those of a Rakshasa, and her eyes will glow red.  They are always hungry, and despite their preferences, they'll eat anyone if desperate enough.  Once they find prey via their job, they will attempt to snatch newborns through windows, or reach up through the floorboards with their intestines (Malaysian houses are raised off the ground commonly).

*Size and Type:* Size is unchanged, Type changes to Monstrous Humanoid  

*Hit Dice:* All current and future Hit Dice become d8's, unless they are already higher.

*Speed:* When undergoing it's Nightly Transformation, the creature gains a Fly speed of 70 (Average) and it's Land speed drops to 10 ft.

*Armor Class:* The base creatures natural armor bonus improves by +6.

*Attacks:* When undergoing it's Nightly Transformation, the base creature gains a Primary Bite attack, and a Primary Engulf attack, of which it can only use one at a time.

*Damage:* The creatures Bite attacks do 1d4 damage if Small, 1d6 if Medium and 1d8 if Large.  The Engulf is a melee touch attack that Grapples the target if successful, and exposes them to Disease.

*Special Attacks:* Retains all Special Attacks of the base creature, plus gains the following:

Tongue (Ex): The Penanggalan has a long tongue that it uses to feed on sleeping victims while perched on their roof.  It can extend 15 feet per round, to a total length of 40 feet.  The creature can apparently see through this tongue effectively, as it always seems to know how to get to it's victim.  When it attacks it's victim with the tongue (a melee touch attack) the victim gets an Opposed Level Check (1d20 plus 1/2 Hit Dice plus Charisma) to wake up, and another Check each round the Penanggalan feeds from it.  If the victim awakes, it withdraws it's tongue at a rate of 15 feet per round.  The Penanggalan's tongue is invisible, so if the rest if it is Concealed, the tongue cannot be seen.

Devour Life (Ex): Each round the Penanggalan's tongue successfully attacks, the victim takes 1d4 Constitution Drain, and the Penanggalan gains 5 temporary hit points.

Wasting Disease (Su): The Penanggalan hosts two supernatural diseases.  The first is a wasting disease that affects those it attacks with it's tongue: Injury, Fortitude Save DC is 10 +1/2 Penanggalan's HD + her Constitution Modifier, Incubation: 1 day, Damage: 1d4 Str, successful saves do not allow the character to recover. Only magical healing can save the character.  The second is a disease contacted by those grappled by the Penanggalan's entrails that causes them to break out in open sores: Contact, Fortitude Save DC is 10 +1/2 Penanggalan's HD + her Constitution Modifier, Incubation: 1 day, Damage: 1d4 Dex, successful saves do not allow the character to recover. Only magical healing can save the character.

Improved Grapple (Ex): The Penanggalan does not provoke an attack of opportunity when it makes a touch attack to start a grapple. It also gain a +4 bonus on all grapple checks, regardless of whether it started the grapple. 

*Special Qualities:* Retains all Special Qualities of the base creature, plus gains the following:

Damage Reduction (Su): The base creature gains DR 10/Slashing and Piercing.

Fast Healing (Ex): The Penanggalan heals 5 points of damage each round so long as it has at least 1 hit point.

Deceptive Appearance (Su): The Penanggalan appears perfectly human(oid) when not transformed, and spells that would normally reveal it's true nature must succeed in an Opposed Caster Level Check to work (the Penanggalan's Cater Level is equal to it's Hit Dice for purposes of this ability).  Any creature with Scent will immediately detect the smell of vinegar on her.  Those without scent can make a Wisdom Check (1d20 + 1/2 HD plus Wisdom) versus the Penanggalan's Charisma Check (1d20 + 1/2 HD plus Charisma).  The smell of vinegar is a dead giveaway that the Penanggalan is a monster.

Nightly Transformation (Ex): As a Full Round Action the Penanggalan splits at the neck, with it's top half becoming a flying monster.  To re-insert itself, it must soak it's organs in vinegar for 15 minutes to shrink them.

Amorphous (Ex): The Peanggalan can move through a space as narrow as 1 inch wide without slowing down.

Darkvision 60 ft.

Scent 

Vulnerabilities (Ex): Penanggalan recoil from scissors and betel nut cutters.  A recoiling Penanggalan must stay at least 5 feet away from a creature holding the items and cannot touch or make melee attacks against the creature holding the item for the rest of the encounter. Holding a Penanggalan  at bay takes a standard action.

Reducing a Penanggalan's hit points to 0 or lower incapacitates it but does not kill it.  To kill it, you must find it's bottom half after it has undergone it's Nightly Transformation, and fill it with broken glass.  The Manananggal will be fatally injured when re-inserting itself.  Optionally you may also hide the lower half, and  it will still die at sunrise.  You may also have the body sanctified and cremated.  If you spin the body, the Penanggalan will be facing backwards after re-inserting, giving itself away.  There is also oa story of bodies being switched, and the Penanggalan revealing themselves by inserting themselves into the wrong bodies.

*Saves:* The Penanggalan gain a +2 Profane Bonus to all saving throws.

*Abilities:* Str +4, Dex +4, Con +4, Int +2, Wis +4, Cha +4.
*
Skills:* Penanggalan have a +8 racial bonus on Bluff, Hide, Listen, Move Silently, Search, Sense Motive, and Spot checks.
*
Feats:* Penanggalan gain Alertness, Combat Reflexes, Dodge, Improved Initiative, and Lightning Reflexes, assuming the base creature meets the prerequisites and doesnt already have these feats. 

*Environment:* Warm Forest or unchanged.

*Organization:* Solitary 

*Challenge Rating:* +2

*Treasure:* Unchanged

*Alignment:* Usually Chaotic Evil, but can vary

*Advancement:* By Character Class, usually Wizard

*Level Adjustment:*+7

Example of creature using template here:

*Muriah*  (Wizard 4/Penanggalan)
                      Medium Monstrous Humanoid (Small when transformed)
*Hit Dice:*             4d8+16 (34 hp)
*Initiative:*           +7
*Speed:*                30 ft. (6 squares)
*Speed (transformed):*                10 ft. (2 squares), Fly 70 ft. (Good)
*Armor Class:*          19 (+3 Dex, +6 Natural), touch 13, flat-footed 16
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +2/+3
*Attack:*               Club +3 melee (1d6+1)
*Full Attack:*          Club +3 melee (1d6+1)
*Attack (transformed):*               Bite +3melee (1d6+1) or Engulf +3 melee touch (grapple plus disease)
*Full Attack (transformed):*          Bite +3melee (1d6+1) or Engulf +3 melee touch (grapple plus disease)
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Tongue, Devour Life, Wasting Disease, Improved Grapple, Spells
*Special Qualities:*    Snake Familiar, DR 10/Slashing and Piercing, Fast Healing 5, Deceptive Appearance, Nightly Transformation, Amorphous, Darkvision 60 ft., Vulnerabilities
*Saves:*                Fort +7, Ref +8, Will +8
*Abilities:*            Str 12, Dex 17, Con 18, Int 18, Wis 14, Cha 16
*Skills:*               Bluff +11, Concentration +9, Craft (any 2) +8, Decipher Script +8, Intimidate +6, Hide +11, Knowledge (Arcana, History, Local, Nature, Religion) +8, Listen +10, Move Silently +11, Search +12, Sense Motive +10, Spellcraft +8, Spot +10
*Feats:*                Silent Spell, Still Spell, , Alertness (B), Combat Reflexes (B), Dodge (B), Improved Initiative (B), Lightning Reflexes (B), Scribe Scroll (B)
*Challenge Rating:*     6
*Treasure:*             Standard
*Alignment:*            Chaotic Evil

"Muriah was a wonderful girl, loved by us all.  Well, almost all.  There were petty, jealous people envious of her success, and that she would be chosen to be the towns new priestess when her mother passed.  Her detractors framed her for her mothers murder, which they and committed.  We cleared her, but not before she lost everything, her mind included.  Once out she went to live with her cousins who were a dark blot on her families reputation.  It was said they dabbled in black magic, and she wanted that knowledge to pursue her revenge.  I confronted her along one night last week.  She said the rumors were true, and she intended to repay her bullies in kind by destroying their lives.  I asked of her who would be our priestess then?  Who would carry our prayers to the Gods now?  Would the Gods not abandon her for the sins she was about to commit?"

"Her reply was: May the Gods give you blood to drink.  That was enough for me.  I'm leaving tomorrow, and I'm not coming back.  I suggest you do the same."

----------


## Metastachydium

> *Drei*


A DINOSAUR! (Kind of.) And a strong, tough, thoroughly _crazy_ one at that. It truly _is_ what a Chaotic beast touched by the Far Realm should look and work like.




> *Armor Class:*          23 (-2 Size, +15 Profane), touch 23, flat-footed 23


Call me old-fashioned, but I think unusual bonuses to AC should appear noted somewhere among the SQs. Something amounting to the conversion of all natural armour bonuses into profane (which would seem to be something that happened to this dino at some point) could be interesting, for example. Also, I think something like deflection or luck would probably fit better than profane, given that Drei's CN.




> *Saves:*                Fort +15, Ref +5, Will +13


Will should be +11, I think.




> *Regeneration (Ex)* The Regeneration ability of the Drei does not work against damage done by weapons/spells with the Lawful descriptor.


I think I'd rephrase this; weapons can do Lawful damage, but I don't think they come with a Lawful _descriptor_ attached.




> *Pale Shark*


How to make a shark amphibious? Kill it dead and put some legs on it!




> *Special Attacks:*      Toxic Bite, Wounding Bite


Wounding is a confusing name; it usually denotes stuff that bleeds profusely and has extra damage hence, mostly CON, I think? "Weakening" would mayhaps work better. (I'd also remove the reference to disease in the description of Toxic Bite, incidentally.)




> *Special Qualities:*    Darkvision 60', Undead Traits, Dark Vitality, DR 5/Slashing, Blood Healing 5, Sense Living 60', Blind, Blood Scent
> 
> ()
> 
> *Skills:*               Climb +11, Jump +12, Listen +6, Move Silently +6, Spot +6, Swim +12


So, um, this thing is Blind. And it has 2 ranks in Spot. Why's that?




> *Pale Horse*


And behold a pale horse! That's actually a normal and decent person! Nice one again. (And the idea that Plants are, generally speaking, safer around them than the vast majority of non-mindless living creatures is just the lovely cherry on top.)




> *Aura of Death:* Any creature must make a DC 17 Willpower Save if they are within 60 ft. of a Pale Horse (Save DC is Charisma based).  If the opponent succeeds, he must still make another Save while he is within range of the Horses Aura, and the Save DC gets a +1 Bonus for each 10 ft. closer the opponent gets to it.


The text doesn't clarify the frequency of saves needed. I'd recommend a phrasing more like, say, this:

"Each round, any creature within 60 ft. of a Pale Horse must make a DC 17 Willpower Save (the save DC is Charisma-based). Even if the opponent succeeds, he must still make another Save every subsequent round while he is within range of the Horse's Aura, and the Save DC increases by 1 with each 10 ft. the opponent covers between himself and the Horse thereafter."

----------


## Bhu

Edits have been made, we return to Mutual of Gnomeahaw this weekend.

----------


## Metastachydium

The pale shark still has Wounding in its stat block.

----------


## Bhu

*Funk Ape*
Medium Magical Beast
*Hit Dice:* 4d10+8 (30 hp)
*Initiative:* +2
*Speed:* 30 ft. (6 squares), Climb 30 ft.
*Armor Class:* 16 (+2 Dex, +2 Natural. +2 Deflection), touch 14, flat-footed 14
*Base Attack/Grapple:* +4/+6
*Attack:* Slam +6 melee (1d4+2)
*Full Attack:* 2 Slams +6 melee (1d4+2) and 1 Bite +1 melee (1d4+1)
*Space/Reach:* 5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:* Funk, Blur
*Special Qualities:* Low Light Vision, Darkvision 60 ft., Immunities
*Saves:* Fort +6, Ref +6, Will +3
*Abilities:* Str 15, Dex 15, Con 15, Int 2, Wis 14, Cha 12
*Skills:* Climb +10, Listen +8, Spot +7
*Feats:* Alertness, Ability Focus (Funk)
*Environment:* Warm Forest
*Organization:* Solitary
*Challenge Rating:* 7
*Treasure:* None
*Alignment:* Always Chaotic Neutral
*Advancement:* 5-8 HD (Large)
*Level Adjustment:* ---


_" Ooohmigod...what is that?  It smells like mindflayer poop and burning rubber...avenge me...sputter...cough..."_

Funk Apes are the result of experiments by Prak the Mad. Prak had set up shop in what was eventually to become known as Bad Critter Forest, and begun experimenting on the life there, turning most of the local animals into Magical Beasts in the process. This has to be one of his less welcome creations.  The Funk Ape appears to be a large baboon that smells bad. Really bad. So bad in fact that even the dead are repulsed. The miasma surrounding the Funk Ape even causes the atmosphere to shimmer and distort, as if the very air wanted to be elsewhere.

*Funk (Su):* The Funk Ape smells bad. Any creature within 60 ft. of it that can smell is in trouble. Even if it can't smell something seems to bother it. Once inside this area all living creatures with a sense of smell must make a DC 16 Fortitude Save (Save DC is Constitution based) or fall unconscious for 1 round, be Nauseated for 1d6 rounds after awakening, and then Sickened for 1d6 hours more. As long as the creature remains within 60 ft. of the Funk Ape it will have to make Saves to avoid unconsciousness each round. Creatures that aren't living or that have no sense of smell (or that are incorporeal) must also make a DC 16 Fortitude Save, or be Sickened as long as they are within 60 ft. of the Funk Ape.

*Blur (Su):* Due to the air around it boiling, the Funk Ape permanently has it's own personal Blur spell (as well as a +2 Deflection Bonus to AC).

*Immunities (Ex):* Funk Apes are immune to disease (it's killed off by their Funk), inhaled gases or poisons (which can't get through the Funk), and any attack relying on their sense of smell (of which they have none, due to the Funk).

*Skills:* Funk Apes get a +8 Racial Bonus to Climb checks, and can always take 10 on climb checks even if rushed or threatened.

*Combat:* Funk Apes are only mildly aggressive and usually sit in trees and fling poo at intruders. Occasionally they'll get riled up and charge if scared or angry. After that they just continuously whack their opponent till he falls, or they run away if hurt too bad.  Most opponents simply black out or puke near them, which is an endless supply of entertainment for the ape.



*Funk Ape*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim will be trying to verify the existence of the legendary Funk Ape!

*Smells Worse Than a Dead Beholder Frying In The Sun*

"Can I state for the record how much I hate Florida."

"Is that Prak?"

*Of Course It's Prak*

"Yes...and the ape thing he's with smells so bad I can taste it through the forcewall."

"Guess we can cross this one off the cryptid list."

----------


## Bhu

*Combustible Chicken*
                      Tiny Magical Beast
*Hit Dice:*             1d10+3 (8 hp)
*Initiative:*           +3
*Speed:*                20 ft. (4 squares), Fly 20 ft. (Poor)
*Armor Class:*          16 (+2 Size, +3 Dex, +1 Natural), touch 15, flat-footed 13
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +1/-11
*Attack:*               Peck +6 melee (1 point)
*Full Attack:*          Peck +6 melee (1 point) and 2 Claws +1 melee (1 point)
*Space/Reach:*          2 1/2 ft./0 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Combustion
*Special Qualities:*    Dark Vision 60 ft., Flight
*Saves:*                Fort +5, Ref +5, Will +1
*Abilities:*            Str 3, Dex 16, Con 16, Int 3, Wis 12, Cha 8
*Skills:*               Balance +4, Jump +5, Spot +3
*Feats:*                Weapon Finesse
*Environment:*          Warm or Temperate Plains
*Organization:*         Solitary or Flock (6-20)
*Challenge Rating:*    1/2
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          ---
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_"Birds again...Bert you know birds hate me.  Why do you take these assignments?"_

_"Cuz we need the money to get that curse of yours removed.  Now put that pipe out.  We can't let them see it."_

_"Why, will the chickens fine me for smoking?"_

_"Dammit Abner put that thing out before..."_

BOOM!

_"Bert...I feel I have been denied critical, need to know information..."_

Obviously created by an insane mage of some kind, Combustible Chickens appear as ordinary farm fowl, albeit maybe a little meaner and a little tougher.  Combustible Chickens are very attracted to heat however, and flock towards it like moths to a flame.  Unlike moths, they explode if they catch fire.  

This, of course, has to be a feature that isn't commonly found in evolution, so Wizards are blamed (who else is there to blame really?).  It's perfect for assassinating farmers as the chickens keep their combustibility after death.  God knows why you'd want to kill farmers this way as it's rather dramatic and obvious, and kind of a lot to go through for a farmer you could just as easily Fireball.  Of course if you're insane, you can just slaughter a few, sell them for cooking chickens, set back and watch the fun.  If the world ever evolves a few psychiatrists one assumes they'd have a field day with Wizards...

*Combustion (Ex)*: Combustible Chickens seeing an open flame must make a DC 15 Willpower Save or immediately run towards it in effort to 'be one with the fire'.  If the Save is Successful the Chicken doesn't need to make another one for 2d4 rounds.  When a Combustible Chicken takes 1 point or more of Fire or Electrical damage, it explodes doing 3d6 Fire damage in a 10 ft. Radius (DC 13 Reflex Save for half damage).  Should the ambient air temperature reach 100+ degrees Fahrenheit, the Chicken must make a DC 15 Fortitude Save or explode (+1 to Save DC for every 10 degrees above 100) every hour the temperature remains that high.

*Flight (Ex)*: A chicken can fly for a maximum of (3 plus Con Modifier) rounds before it must rest for at least 1 minute (and by rest we mean 'not fly').  They can always use their wings to slow their fall though, so as long as the fall is 20 ft. or less they have no worries of taking damage.  If it's longer they subtract 20 ft. from the fall for purposes of how much damage they take.

*Skills*: A Chickens wings give it a +8 Racial Bonus to Jump Checks.

*Combat*: Combustible Chickens prefer not to fight at all.  They're only really a danger around fire and electricity.  So hiding in the Chicken coop during the lightning storm...not such a good idea.



*Combustible Chicken*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim will be in north Florida, covering a story  on spontaneously combusting chickens."

*Beloved By Adventurers Everywhere*

"Why do we do this Harlan?"

"Ratings?"

"Whut the hail you two weirdos doin' on my propity?"

"We hear your chickens are exploding?"

"Yup.  Designed that way.  Murderhobos pay a lot fer 'em."

*Deadly By Design*

"You mean adventurers..."

"I said what I said.  They like to turn flocks of 'em loose in dungeons what use fire traps."

"Guess we can cross this one off the cryptid list too."

----------


## Bhu

http://fc08.deviantart.com/fs12/i/20...y_plutonia.jpg

*Spirit Bird*
                      Small Magical Beast
*Hit Dice:*             3d10+9 (25 hp)
*Initiative:*           +5
*Speed:*                10 ft. (2 squares), Fly 80 ft. (Good)
*Armor Class:*          19 (+1 Size, +5 Dex, +3 Deflection), touch 19, flat-footed 14
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +3/+0
*Attack:*               Claw +9 melee touch (1d6+1)
*Full Attack:*          2 Claws +9 melee touch (1d6+1) and 1 Bite +4 melee (1d4)
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Dual Nature
*Special Qualities:*    Dark Vision 60 ft., Low Light Vision, Confound Senses
*Saves:*                Fort +6, Ref +8, Will +4
*Abilities:*            Str 12, Dex 20, Con 16, Int 16, Wis 16, Cha 16
*Skills:*               Hide +9, Knowledge (Arcane, Nature) +9, Listen +9, Move Silently +11, Spot +9
*Feats:*                Flyby Attack, Weapon Finesse
*Environment:*          Any Temperate except Aquatic 
*Organization:*         Solitary
*Challenge Rating:*     3
*Treasure:*             Standard
*Alignment:*            Usually Chaotic Neutral
*Advancement:*         4-6 HD (Medium)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_All that spirits desire, spirits attain._

Spirit Birds are bizarre predatory birds that straddle two realities.  They prey on both the dead and the living, and many bizarre beliefs are attributed to them.  They appear to have a language, and to date it is unknown if they have taught it to anyone.  They  prefer to keep to themselves, and often give no clue of how intelligent they truly are.

*Dual Nature (Ex)*: Spirit birds are present in both the spirit and physical realm (or in D&D terms, they are simultaneously present on the Prime material and Ethereal Planes).  For this reasons their Natural Weapons are touch attacks and affect Incorporeal beings.  They may also Grapple Incorporeal beings, and see un-manifested Incorporeal Undead (ghosts) as they are also present in the Ethereal.  Damage done by the Spirit Birds natural weapons is untyped and therefore ignores DR.

*Confound Senses (Su)*:  Spirit Birds are difficult to really see well, and it effectively benefits from having a Blur spell permanently in effect on it's person..  Any opponent attacked successfully by it must make a DC 14 Willpower Save (Save DC is Charisma based) or be Confused (as per the spell) for 1 round as per the spell, as the conflicting images tear at it's mind.

*Combat*: Spirit Birds usually dive out of the sky, claw, and keep going.  After a few successful passes they will try to really tear into an opponent (or just leave if it's too powerful).



*Spirit Bird*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim will be standing by, while I broadcast from the Ethereal Plane!"

*Present In Two Worlds*

"Today's target is the Spirit Bird, said to be present on both the Prime and Ethereal simultaneously."

"Did you know mice have ghosts Jim?"

"What?"

"There are mice here everywhere."

*Ghost Eaters*

"Did a large, blurry bird just pick one of them off?"

"How did you know?"

"I think we've found our bird."

----------


## Bhu

*Muck Whale*
                      Gargantuan Magical Beast
*Hit Dice:*             25d10+150 (287 hp)
*Initiative:*           +1
*Speed:*                Swim 60 ft. (12 squares)
*Armor Class:*          30 (-4 Size, +1 Dex, +23 Natural), touch 7, flat-footed 29
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +25/+50
*Attack:*               Slam +34 melee (2d6+19)
*Full Attack:*          Slam +34 melee (2d6+19)
*Space/Reach:*          20 ft./15 ft.
*Special Attacks:*     Terrifying Appearance
*Special Qualities:*    Dark Vision 60 ft., Hold Breath, DR 5/-, Fast Healing 10, Blindsight 120 ft., False Undeath
*Saves:*                Fort +20, Ref +15, Will +10
*Abilities:*            Str 36, Dex 13, Con 22, Int 3, Wis 11, Cha 16
*Skills:*               Listen +20, Spot +20, Swim +21
*Feats:*                Ability Focus (Terrifying Appearance), Alertness, Awesome Blow, Diehard, Endurance, Improved Bull Rush, Iron Will, Power Attack, Swim-By Attack 
*Environment:*          Cold or Temperate Aquatic
*Organization:*         Solitary, Pair, or Pod (6-12)
*Challenge Rating:*     13
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          26-38 HD (Gargantuan), 39-50 HD (Colossal) 
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

It is said that long ago one of the Gods of Darkness was saved, when the untimely arrival of a pod of whales saved him from ambush by distracting one of his fellows.  Unusually happy after butchering his would be assassin, the God set out to find a way to protect the whales from hunters, who were rabidly overfishing them.  His blessing was unique to say the least, and it is said he killed the whales and then raised them from death in an unholy parody of life.

The truth as always is just a little bit different than the stories say.  The God altered the whales, and their descendants have all inherited these changes.  The Muck Whales are hideous rotting parodies of their former selves, but in truth they are not dead.  It is a form of camouflage meant to deter hunters, since they look like floating corpses, and if not then the whales obvious unlife usually terrifies them into fleeing.  Worse their wounds seem to never heal, but they cause them no discomfort either.  Most who have encountered them are thought mad, as Muck Whales are rare, and even undead can be destroyed eventually.  The problem is that everyone assumes Clerics can turn them because of their appearance, or that items effective against the Undead are necessary for dealing with them.  This is a major reason why the few parties that spot and chase after Muck Whales fail.  They are called Muck Whales because of the trail of rotting organic debris they leave in their wake.

*Terrifying Appearance (Su)*: Any living creature within 100 ft. of the Muck Whale must make a DC 27 Willpower Save or be Frightened for 2d6 rounds (SSave DC is Cha based).  Opponents who succeed in making the Save are immune to this Muck Whales Terrifying Appearance for 24 hours.

*Hold Breath (Ex)*: Muck Whales can hold their breath for (8 times Constitution Modifier) rounds before it risks drowning.

*False Undeath (Su):* The Muck Whale appears to be dead, and nothing, not even spells, produces any evidence to the contrary.  The Muck Whale detects as undead for all spells and abilities that detect for such.

*Skills*: Muck Whales receive a +4 Racial Bonus to Listen and Spot Checks, and a +8 Bonus to Swim Checks.  They may always Take 10 on a Swim Check, and may use the Run Action while swimming in a straight line.

*Combat*: Muck Whales have a (very) rudimentary sense of tactics.  They will rely on their appearance and hit and run tactics despite their size.  Some even play dead to avoid the combat entirely.  



*Muck Whale*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim will be coming to you live from the Dark Sea!"

*Blessed?*

"Today we're looking for a pod of whales the local pirates claim are both undead and invincible."

"And with us to test that theory is a local Cleric of Berg."

"Howdy.  My name is Dead Bob."

"Well there's a pod of whales off the port side now."

"Not dead whales unfortunately."

*Not Quite Undead*

"Where are they suddenly running off to?"

"Look!  Look there Jim!"

"Sweet Jebus.  Okay Bob, you're up."

----------


## Bhu

The Flock
Diminutive Aberration (Chaotic, Swarm)
*Hit Dice:* 10d8+10 (55 hp)
*Initiative:* +7
*Speed:* 30 ft (6 squares), Swim 30 ft., Fly 40 ft. (Good)
*Armor Class:* 20 (+4 Size, +3 Dex, +3 Insight), touch 20, flat-footed 17
*Base Attack/Grapple:* +7/-
*Attack:* Engulf +10 melee touch (Engulf) or Swarm (2d6)
*Full Attack:*  Engulf +10 melee touch (Engulf) or Swarm (2d6)
*Space/Reach:*  5 ft./5 ft. or 10 ft./0ft.
*Special Attacks:*  Engulf, Frightful Presence, Discorporate, The Power of Quack, Distraction
*Special Qualities:*  Blindsight 60 ft., Immunities, SR 18, Swarm traits
*Saves:*  Fort +4, Ref +6, Will +9
*Abilities:*  Str 3, Dex 16, Con 13, Int 14, Wis 14, Cha 14
*Skills:*  Climb +5, Disguise +5, Hide +18, Intimidate +7, Knowledge (Local, Nature) +6, Listen +7, Move Silently +7, Search +7, Spot +7, Survival +7, Swim +8
*Feats:* Ability Focus (Frightful Presence), Combat Reflexes, Deft Opportunist, Improved Initiative, Weapon Finesse (B)
*Environment:* Any
*Organization:* Solitary
*Challenge Rating:* 9
*Treasure:* Standard
*Alignment:* Usually Chaotic Neutral
*Advancement:* 10+ HD (Medium)
*Level Adjustment:* ---

_there used ter be a boy name a' Donnie, hung out down the corner, by the flower shop.  Quiet boy.  Good boy too, 'cept he hated ducks.  Hated them with a passion.  Said we all didn't realize how bad they were.  Said 'Somewhere, somehow, the Flock is always watching you.'  Nearly scared me off mah likker lemme tell you.  

So's one day no one sees Donnie fer a spell, and then suddenly he's there agin on the corner.  Wearing a hood, an' heavy clothin' on a warm summers day.  Doesn't really talk to anyone, or do much, but like ah said he's a quiet boy.  After a while I gets to wonderin' whats wrong, and I go's up to him and says hello.  He don't say nuthin'.  And ah says hello agin.  Still nuthin'.  Ah put my hand on his shoulder and suthin' moves underneath his clothes.

Since then I don't go 'round that corner no more.  And ah don't eat ducks neither."_

The origins of the Flock are unknown, and it has never made an attempt to communicate or given any indication that it even understands communication.  It has at least some form of intelligence as it understands the need for a disguise to move among people, so that it can prey upon them.  No one is certain what it gets from converting people to more of itself, and it is unknown what if anything the Flock eats as it simply converts people to Flock.  Flocks generally appear as a mass of ducklings inhabiting a suit of clothing.  They prefer heavy clothing in order to facilitate their disguise, and dark locales so as to help with the job of pretending to be human.  As it spends much of it's time standing on corners or in allies or other out of the way places it is uncertain what the Flocks goals (if any) are.

*Engulf (Ex):* A Flock can choose to engulf an opponent who is no more than one size category larger than itself. The Flock attempts to embrace its victim, and with a successful melee touch attack, the victim is immediately swallowed up and surrounded by a mass of ducklings, taking 2d6 points of damage and must also make a DC 16 Fortitude Save or be Nauseated for 1 round (Save DC is Con based). A victim who spends a full-round action can break free of the embrace and move up to half its speed away from the Flock if desired, but can do nothing else. Otherwise, each round a victim remains engulfed, it takes another 2d6 points of damage (and must make another save).  The Flock's Engulf attack is not subject to Concealment or Cover.  When discorporated it uses it's normal Swarm attack (also doing 2d6) and Distraction.

*Frightful Presence (Su):* When a Flock attacks a victim, witnesses within 60 ft. must make a Will save (DC 19, Save is Cha based). Those who make the save are shaken. Those who fail by 5 or fewer points are Frightened. Those who fail by 6 to 10 points are Panicked. Those who fail by 11 or more points are Cowering. All these conditions last for 1d4 rounds. Those who have seen a Flock use this attack before gain a +4 Circumstance bonus on their saving throws. The victim of the Flocks engulf attack has a -4 Circumstance penalty on his or her saving throw. 

*Discorporate (Ex):* If gravely threatened, a Flock can discorporate as a free action, simply falling into a pile of individual ducklings that slither quickly away. So long as any of the component ducks survive, they can multiply and create a new Flock. Discorporating is a dangerous tactic, because once separated, the ducklings are treated no differently than other duckling. Also, the Flock stands a good chance of losing all its equipment. However, discorporation almost assures that at least one duckling (if not dozens) will manage to crawl away, and so provide for the Flocks continued existence.  The Flock automatically discorporates at 0 hp., leaving 2d6 ducklings to escape.  Optionally it may simply use this to abandon it's disguise and become a Swarm occupying a 10 ft. area.  It may also reincorporate once per round as a Free Action to assume it's disguise again.  It's Strength score is a 10 when reincorporated.

*The Power of Quack (Su):* Any creature damaged by the Flocks attack gains the Chicken Infested Flaw (see Dragon Magazine 330) until they kill the Flock that damaged them, or they receive a Remove Curse, Wish, or Miracle spell.  Instead of Chickens however, you produce Curse Ducks.  These ducks often attack or make mischief for their unfortunate target.   Victims killed by a Flocks engulf attack rise as a Flock themselves within 1d4 days.  These are not spawn, nor individual beings, all pieces of the Flock are one entity.  What one of it's pieces knows, the whole Flock knows.

*Distraction (Ex):* Any living creature that begins its turn with a swarm in its space must succeed on a DC 16 Fortitude save or be nauseated for 1 round. The save DC is Constitution-based. 

*Immunities (Ex):* The Flock has no discernable anatomy, so it is not subject to critical hits or flanking.  It is also immune to Mind Affecting Effects, Poison, Sleep Effects. Paralysis, Stunning, Disease, and Non Lethal damage.  Flocks may not be Tripped, Grappled or Bull Rushed.  Much like other Swarms, the Flock is immune to weapon damage.

*Skills:* Flocks have a +8 Racial Bonus to Swim Checks.  It also has a +4 Racial Bonus to Climb Checks.

*Combat:* Flocks avoid combat until they can corner a weaker opponent they can easily Engulf alone.   Against a strong opponent who resists being Engulfed (or against groups), they discorporate and flee.


-=-=-=-=-=-=-

*Lore*
Characters with ranks in Knowledge (Arcane) or Knowledge (Things Man Was Not Meant To Know) can learn more about The Flock. When the character makes a skill check, the following lore is revealed, including the information from lower DCs.

DC|Lore
20|This is some sort of hideous Aberration.  This Check also reveals the Chaos and Swarm Subtypes.
25|You have encountered The Flock, a legendary creature known to attack and consume lone individuals.  It is very difficult to harm, and is best avoided.
30|To destroy The Flock, each and every last duckling composing it must be destroyed, which is next to impossible.

*Plot Hook*
 People have been slowly disappearing from the neighborhood, coinciding with an ever-increasing variety of hooded figures lurking in the streets at night.  It's presumed that a new group of  cultists of some kind is moving in. The PC's get lost on a backwoods road and encounter a crazed old man rambling about the evils of ducks and warning them not to take the shortcut down the old dirt road.  Of course, they ignore him.A tome with potential details on the Flock is being auctioned off.  You have been asked to guard it.  You worry less about the local whackos getting it, as they seem to be getting picked off one by one by a growing group of hooded crazies that are slowly surrounding the auction house.  Man you really hate this job...A local duck hunter/farmer comes to the PC's raving about the evils of ducks terrorizing him and his family at their lonely farm house out in the middle of a local area known as "The Devil's Hook Up".  They briefly entertain thoughts of suicide rather than do this, but they do need a place to stay and a meal, and since they're broke they can't be picky.





*Curse Duck*
                      Tiny Magical Beast
*Hit Dice:*             1d10 (5 hp)
*Initiative:*           +2
*Speed:*                20 ft. (4 squares), Swim 20 ft., Fly 40 ft. (Good)
*Armor Class:*          14 (+2 Size, +2 Dex), touch 14, flat-footed 12
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +1/-11
*Attack:*               Sudden Brutal Pecking At Knee Level +3 melee (1d3-4)
*Full Attack:*          Sudden Brutal Pecking At Knee Level +3 melee (1d3-4)
*Space/Reach:*          2 1/2 ft./0 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Accursed Pecking
*Special Qualities:*    Low-light Vision, Darkvision 60 ft., Hold Breath
*Saves:*                Fort +2, Ref +4, Will +2
*Abilities:*            Str 3, Dex 14, Con 11, Int 14, Wis 14, Cha 14
*Skills:*               Hide +10, Listen +6, Move Silently +6, Spot +6, Swim +8
*Feats:*                Weapon Finesse
*Environment:*          Any
*Organization:*         Solitary, Pair, or Flock (5-30)
*Challenge Rating:*     1/2
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Chaotic Neutral
*Advancement:*          ---
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

*Accursed Pecking (Su):* Creatures pecked by the Duck must make a DC 12 Fortitude Save (Save DC is Cha based) or be Dazed 1 round.

*Hold Breath (Ex):* A duck can hold its breath for a number of rounds equal to 4 × its Constitution score before it risks drowning.

*Skills:* Ducks gain a +8 Racial Bonus on Swim checks, and may always Take 10 on a Swim Check.  They may also use the Run action while swimming provided they swim in a straight line.

*Combat:* Curse Ducks usually run.  They're more mischief maker than fighter.




*The Flock*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I are looking for a scary urban legend!"

*Beware Hooded Men On Street Corners*

"The Flock is supposedly a swarm of accursed ducklings that walk like a man."

"That is odd, even for us."

"Hold on Harlan, there's a hooded person staring at us from that alley.  And there's ducks near it..."

"Be careful Jim.  Don't approach without the Forcewall up."

*What Does It Want?*

"That's pretty much standard for me now Harlan."

"Wait, where did we go?"

----------


## Bhu

*Tall Mouther*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I are looking for a local killer of halflings!"

*Halflings Are Their Drug Of Choice*

"It's being described as some sort of gorilla spider."

"That sounds strangely familiar."


*Difficult To Aim For*

"Ere now.  What're you two up to?"

"Why this is just an average Tall Mouther.  There' no cryptid here."

"I'm reformed, thank you very much, and I hain't kilt no  halflins'.  That's been them Mooncalves what did that."

"Wait, did you say Mooncalves?"

----------


## Bhu

*Mooncalf*
"No one can ever know of this Jim."

*Weapons Of The Far Realm*

"You've been edgy since that fellow mentioned Mooncalves.  Even worse since we found out they  appeared after the locals dug up a pyramid."

"It reminds me of an old legend.  A legend about creatures of the Far Realm looking for one of their own.  I hope I'm wrong."


*Searchers Of Strange Things*

"How are we getting around them to the Pyramid without them knowing we're here?"

"We aren't.  They know we've been hear since we arrived.  Have your weapons ready."




to be continued

----------


## Metastachydium

> *Funk Ape*
> 
> ()
> 
> *Alignment:* Always Chaotic Neutral


It's not sapient, undead or extraplanar. I think it'd default to TN. Otherwise, this damn thing here's _wicked_ and flawless. I like it!




> *Combustible Chicken*
> 
> ()
> 
> *Attack:*               Peck +4 melee (1 point)
> *Full Attack:*          Peck +4 melee (1 point) and 2 Claws -1 melee (1 point)


Shouldn't that be +6/+1 (+1 BAB, +3 DEX, +2 size)?




> *Combustion (Ex)*: Combustible Chickens seeing an open flame must make a DC 15 Willpower Save or immediately run towards it in effort to 'be one with the fire'.  If the Save is Successful the Chicken doesn't need to make another one for 2d4 rounds.  When a Combustible Chicken takes 1 point or more of Fire or Electrical damage, it explodes doing 3d6 Fire damage in a 10 ft. Radius.  Should the ambient air temperature reach 100+ degrees Fahrenheit, the Chicken must make a DC 15 Fortitude Save or explode (+1 to Save DC for every 10 degrees above 100) every hour the temperature remains that high.


The poor souls! (Also, their explosion offers no save?)




> *Flight (Ex)*: A chicken can fly for a maximum of (3 plus Con Modifier) rounds before it must rest for at least 1 minute (and by rest we mean 'not fly').  They can always use their wings to slow their flight though


_[Pedantic.]_ Did you mean: slow their _fall_?



> http://fc08.deviantart.com/fs12/i/20...y_plutonia.jpg
> 
> *Spirit Bird*


A birdy! That's always nice.




> Small Magical Beast
> *Hit Dice:*             3d8+9 (22 hp)


That should be 3d10+9 (25 hp). Other than that, it's all good and a birdy with a fine concept. Neat all around.



> *Muck Whale*
>                       Gargantuan Magical Beast
> *Hit Dice:*             25d10+150 (287 hp)


25d10+175 (312). Improved Toughness and all that.




> *Feats:*                Ability Focus (Terrifying Appearance), Alertness, Awesome Blow, Diehard, Endurance, Improved Bull Rush, Improved Toughness, Iron Will, Power Attack, Swim-By Attack


One of these feats is not like the others (in that it should be either a bonus one or not here at all. 25 HD only gives 9). Also, no epic feats?




> *Terrifying Appearance (Su)*: Any living creature within 100 ft. of the Muck Whale must make a DC 27 Willpower Save or be Frightened for 2d6 rounds.  Opponents who succeed in making the Save are immune to this Muck Whales Terrifying Appearance for 24 hours.


This looks CHA-based but it's not spelled out.




> The Flock


Most sinister!




> *Speed:* 30 ft (10 squares),


Did you mean: 6 squares? 




> *Armor Class:* 20 (+4 Size, +3 Dex, +3 Insight), touch 20, flat-footed 17


I get where the insight comes from (WE ARE LEGION!), but that's left kind of implicit.




> *Attack:* Engulf +10 melee touch (Engulf)


Where's 10 coming from? As is, it should be +7 (+4 size, +7 BAB, -4 STR) or +11 (+4 size, +7 BAB) if it counts as Diminutive when not in a state of discorporation.




> *Skills:*  Climb +5, Disguise +5, Hide +7, Intimidate +7, Knowledge (Local, Nature) +6, Listen +7, Move Silently +7, Search +7, Spot +7, Survival +7, Swim +8


I see one too many skill points spent. (Also, remind me: swarms don't get their size bonus to Hide?)




> *Engulf (Ex):* A Flock can choose to engulf an opponent who is no more than one size category larger than itself. The Flock attempts to embrace its victim, and with a successful melee touch attack, the victim is immediately swallowed up and surrounded by a mass of ducklings, taking 2d6 points of damage and make a DC 16 Fortitude Save or be Nauseated for 1 round (Save DC is Con based). A victim who spends a full-round action can break free of the embrace and move up to half its speed away from the Flock if desired, but can do nothing else. Otherwise, each round a victim remains engulfed, it takes another 2d6 points of damage (and must make another save).  The Flock's Engulf attack is not subject to Concealment or Cover. 
> 
> ()
> 
> *Distraction (Ex):* Any living creature that begins its turn with a swarm in its space must succeed on a DC 16 Fortitude save or be nauseated for 1 round. The save DC is Constitution-based.


Is that two saves against nausea or one save listed under two headings?




> *Frightful Presence (Su):* When a Flock attacks a victim, witnesses within 60 ft. must make a Will save (DC 19, Save is Cha based). Those who make the save are shaken. Those who fail by 5 or fewer points are Frightened. Those who fail by 6 to 10 points are Panicked. Those who fail by 11 or more points are Cowering. All these conditions last for 1d4 rounds. Those who have seen a Flock use this attack before gain a +4 Circumstance bonus on their saving throws. The victim of the Flocks engulf attack has a -4 Circumstance penalty on his or her saving throw.


What happens when one fails by less than 5?




> *Curse Duck*


That's one nice little birdy, quite finely done! Does it speak?

----------


## Bhu

> I see one too many skill points spent. (Also, remind me: swarms don't get their size bonus to Hide?)


 Weirdly enough they do, thanks for reminding me of that!




> That's one nice little birdy, quite finely done! Does it speak?


  Not that anyone knows  :Belkar:   I had a feeling you'd like the bird selection this week.  I made edits to address your other questions/points.

----------


## Metastachydium

> Not that anyone knows


_[Ominous orchestral note.]_




> I had a feeling you'd like the bird selection this week.


I mean, they are _birdies_ and very, _very_ neat birdies at that (especially the spirit bird and the curse duck). What's not to love there?

----------


## Bhu

*Centhahx*
                      Huge Construct
*Hit Dice:*             30d10+40 (205 hp)
*Initiative:*           +8
*Speed:*                10 ft. (2 squares), 40 ft. (Perfect)
*Armor Class:*          26 (-2 Size, +18 Natural), touch 8, flat-footed 26
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +22/+36
*Attack:*               Bite +26 melee (3d6+9) and Eye Rays +20 ranged touch (varies)
*Full Attack:*          Bite +26 melee (3d6+9) and Eye Rays +20 ranged touch (varies)
*Space/Reach:*          15 ft./10 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Configuration, Eye Rays, Central Eye
*Special Qualities:*    Flight, Darkvision 120 ft., Low-light Vision, DR 15/Adamantine, Energy Resistance 10 (Acid, Cold, Electricity, Fire, Sonic), Fast Repair, Immunity to Magic, Construct traits
*Saves:*                Fort +16, Ref +10, Will +19
*Abilities:*            Str 22, Dex 10, Con -, Int 19, Wis 17, Cha 17
*Skills:*               Decipher Script +24, Intimidate +21, Knowledge (Arcana, Dungeoneering, Geography, History) +24, Listen +25, Search +28, Spot +28, Use Magic Device +23
*Feats:*                Alertness, Epic Fortitude, Epic Will, Flyby Attack, Great Fortitude, Improved Flyby Attack, Improved Initiative, Iron Will, Snatch, Superior Initiative, Wingover
*Environment:*          Any
*Organization:*         Unique
*Challenge Rating:*     <##>
*Treasure:*             Double Standard
*Alignment:*            Lawful Evil
*Advancement:*          31+HD (Huge)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

"Legend has it that there was once a tinkerer and maker of fine clockwork automatons who went by the name of Le Fourier.  People came from far and wide to avail themselves of his services, which he would exchange both  for monetary gain, and esoteric knowledge.  Were it not for the power of his benefactors, we would have murdered him in the streets.  Le Fourier was well known for his...appetites.  Things were seen and heard on his estate, the like of which I will not describe here."

"One day, he went up into the hills, claiming he had found the information that would lead to the culmination of his life's work.  His newest patron had a foreign sounding name.  Centhahx.  None of us ever met him, and that was likely for the best.  Clouds of foul smelling chemicals would roll down the hills, blighting the crops, and making folk sick.  Our drinking water became polluted with strange ichors.  Horrifying noises and strange lights emanated from the hilltops at night.  We left.  We couldn't dare confront him, and the town was being poisoned.  We didn't go back for years.  Not until an explosion so loud it could be heard for miles away happened."

"A few of the bravest of us snuck up into the hills, and found a pyramidal structure.  We thought it might be some sort of tomb.  That wasn't exactly correct, but it wasn't wrong either.  It was a labyrinth of tunnels, but thankfully the mage found the heart of it.  We were not prepared for what awaited us.  We entered the central chamber as a portal closed, just in time for us to miss whatever monstrous alien things went through it.  The corpse of another of their number was bubbling away.  It had too many eyes for my liking.  A gigantic clockwork monstrosity was set into the back wall.  A many eyed sphere with a great maw.  The central eye was closed, with a key protruding from it.  We found Le Fourier in the corner.  I have no idea how he was alive.  He was nearly mummified, like all the moisture had left his body.  Talking to him was the most terrifying thing I have ever done, and the things he said haunt me still.  He said his new patron had come from a Far Realm, and it wanted things in exchange for it's secrets.  Things he no longer wanted to give.  The clockwork was a body for it in our world, as it was unable to physically exist here.  But Le Fourier said he had made a trap within the automaton.  A puzzling set of gears that rearranged the clockworks physical structure if anyone inserted the key and manipulated the gears correctly.  The clockwork was Centhahx, and in it's current configuration it was held in stasis.  He told us to take the key and hide it where it couldn't be found.  That there would be those who wanted to awaken the beast to make use of it's power.  Centhahx's cult of followers had seen to that.  And then he shriveled up into dust, and blew away on a wind none of the rest of us felt."

"We tried destroying both the pyramid and key, but nothing we did worked, not even the worst spells.  We buried both in different places.  But whispers have recently come to me that the pyramid is being excavated, which means they'll be coming for the key too, and I cannot defend it anymore.  I'm dying.  As my last act, I am giving you this map to the key.  Make sure to re-bury it somewhere else, and tell no one where it is until you pass it onto your son.  Go now, and disappear.  This will be our last conversation."

"And son?  I...I'm sorry for this.  You have no idea how much."


Centhahx was a Far Realms Beholder cursed by one of the Powers of that place to be trapped there forever, bound in service.  Should Centhahx try to leave, it's flesh would boil away.  Fortunately for it, Le Fourier was an incredibly powerful Wizard, and he wanted the secrets of the Far Realm badly.  He promised Le Fourier both knowledge and power if the man could make it a body to transfer it's consciousness into.  Le Fourier agreed, but tricked Centhahx.  He gave the new body a weakness: a puzzle that locked away the spirit installed within the clockwork, and would only let it free temporarily once solved.  Once Centhahx transferred itself to the clockwork, the minions of it's former master arrived slew all present before leaving.  Much like everyone else they found Centhahx's new form to be quite indestructible.  Le Fourier lived long enough to pass on the key, hoping it would keep Centhahx locked away forever.  He'd already made sure the geometry of the body would hopefully never allow Centhahx access to it's true power again.  Centhahx's followers eventually found Le Fouriers notes, and have worked for decades to resurrect their old master.  They spread rumors far and wide, designed to trap the unwary in search of power, revenge or a life restored.

*Configuration (Su):* If one has the key, one can manipulate the clockwork mechanism on the front of Centhahx.  It changes into one of 6 different configurations, each one unlocking a different aspect of the creature.  If one lacks the proper knowledge to choose a particular configuration, roll on the following chart:

1: Balance This is the standard stasis mode in which Centhahx "sleeps".  In this configuration, Centhahx is unconscious and unaware, trapped in it's clockwork prison.
2 Beacon: This configuration sounds an alarm both auditory and metaphysical.  This alarms sounds across the Planes, and attracts extraplanar beings (1 or more Mooncalves arrive via Gate within 1d4 rounds).  Centhahx has spread the rumor that this configuration leads to forbidden knowledge that will smite the user in order to prevent his former masters from realizing people are trying to (probably unknowingly) resurrect him.  This configuration is intended to alert the Far Realm for that very purpose..
3 Butcher: This configuration awakens a nearly mindless version of Centhahx (Int 3, Wis 11, Cha 1), who asks the keyholder who it wants revenge upon.  It will then murder the keyholder, and everything in its path until it kills the target.  Once the target is dead, Centhahx awakens fully (with it's normal mental ability scores) for 1d6 days before returning to stasis.  If it cannot find the target after one week, it returns to it's lair and shuts down.  It has spread the rumor that this configuration grants revenge for the asker, but leaves out the price it exacts.
4 Bias: This configuration awakens a weaker, robotic Centhahx (Int 8, Wis 11, Cha 5) that obeys the keyholder until that keyholder dies.  When the keyholder passes (which Centhahx will do it's best to arrange), Centhahx awakens fully (with it's normal mental ability scores) for an amount of time equal to the time it spent in servitude.  It then returns to stasis.  Centhahx has spread the rumor that this configuration grants total dominion over him.
5 Beneficiary: This configuration allows Centhahx to possess a corpse placed no more than 30 feet from it.  This corpse has the abilities of the original base creature with the Zombie template, but with Centhahx's mental ability scores and skills.  This possession lasts for 1d6 weeks, and then the magic holding the body together unravels, and Centhahx returns to it's clockwork body.   Centhahx has spread the rumor that this configuration allows for true resurrection.
6: Beholder Centhahx awakens, and is able to do as itwill (which will likely be to kill everyone present and take the key).  It cannot return to stasis, unless someone with the proper knowledge inserts the key and manipulates the gears properly (or just rolls randomly and takes their best shot).  This takes a Full Round Action.  It has spread rumors that this configuration grants the keybearer vast power.

If the key is turned the current configuration ends. so if Centhahx succeeded in getting someone to do Configuration 5, it would go to a new configuration were someone to turn the key in it's clockwork body, ending it's possession of the corpse.

*Eye Rays (Su):* Each of the ten small eyes of Centhahx can produce a magical ray once a round, even when it is attacking physically or moving at full speed. The creature can easily aim all its eyes upward, but its own body tends to get in the way when it tries to aim the rays in other directions. During a round, the creature can aim only three eye rays at targets in any one arc other than up (forward, backward, left, right, or down). The remaining eyes must aim at targets in other arcs or not at all. Centhahx can tilt and pan its body each round to change which rays it can bring, to bear in an arc.

Each eye's effect resembles a spell cast by a 32nd level sorcerer (20th Level in configuration 3, 25th in configuration 4) but follows the rules for a ray (see Aiming a Spell, page 148 in the Player's Handbook). All rays have a range of 300 feet and a save DC of 28 (DC 20 in configuration 3, DC 22 in configuration 4).

_Ray of Enfeeblement:_ This works just like the spell, causing 1d6+5 points of damage.

_Dimensional Anchor:_ The target is affected as though by the spell

_Banishment:_ The target must succeed at a Willpower save or be affected as though by the spell.

_Baleful Transposition:_ The target must succeed at a Willpower save or be affected as though by the spell (see Spell Compendium).

_Disintegrate:_ The target must succeed at a Fortitude save or be affected as though by the spell.  Centhahx uses this on the most powerful target.

_Inflict Moderate Wounds:_ This works just like the spell, causing 2d8+10 points of damage (Will half).

_Finger of Death:_ The target must succeed at a Fortitude save or be slain as though by the spell. The target suffers 3d6+25 (3d6+20 in configuration 3) damage if his saving throw succeeds.

_Telekinesis:_ Centhahx can move objects or creatures that weigh up to 375 pounds, as though with a telekinesis spell. Creatures can resist the effect with a successful Will save.

_Wrack:_ The target must succeed at a Fortitude save or be affected as though by the spell (see Spell Compendium).

_Scintillating Sphere:_ This works just like the spell, causing 10d6 points of damage (Reflex half), see Spell Compendium.

*Central Eye (Su):* Centhahx's central eye is normally closed, with  keyhole in the lid.  Turning this key opens the eye, and the gears inside begin shifting.  The central eye's power can only be tapped in configurations 3, 4 and  6.  In configuration 3 the eye emits a constant 150 ft. cone of extradimensional energies.  Anything entering this cone must make a DC 20 Willpower Save (Save DC is Cha based) or have all movement speeds reduced to 0 as long as they remain within the cone.  In configuration 4, all Conjuration spells within the Teleportation subschool, or anything that duplicates their effects, stops working in the cone's area.  One cannot enter or leave the cone via these types of magic.  The cone also prevents the formation of Gates within it's area, and if a Gate comes within it's area, the Cone suppresses it as though it were an Antimagic Field.  In configuration 6, it can fire a 150 ft. Line of energy every 1d4 rounds.  Creatures within that area of effect must make a DC 28 Willpower Save (Save DC is Cha based) or be affected as if by a Magic Jar spell (this does not require a receptacle).  Centhahx chooses one body to possess, and that creatures soul inhabits it's former prison, which reverts to configuration 1.  The other souls return to their bodies 1 Minute later with no memory of what happened.  Centhahx has possession of the new body until it is destroyed, or someone turns the key in it's clockwork body, changing it to a new configuration.  Creatures who successfully Save are immune to this possession ability for 24 hours.

*Flight (Su):* Centhahx can fly as the spell, as a free action, at a speed of 40 feet. This also grants it a permanent featherfall effect with personal range.

*Fast Repair (Ex):* Centhahx repairs damage to itself at a rare of 5 hit points per round as long as it is above 0 hit points.

*Immunity to Magic (Ex):* Centhahx is immune to any spell or spell-like ability that allows spell resistance. In addition, certain spells and effects function differently against the creature, as noted below.  Etherealness immediately repairs damage to Centhahx equal to the spell's caster level. Dimensional anchor causes it to cease functioning for 1 round (treat as if dazed). 

*All-Around Vision (Ex):* Centhahx  is exceptionally alert and circumspect. It's many eyes give it a +4 racial bonus to Spot and Search checks and it can't be flanked.

*Combat:* Centhahx has several goals, the main one being it's escape from the automaton which acts as a metaphysical trap for it. Once it can find a way to permanently possess a new form, it will then look for vengeance on it's former master.  As the automaton it largely just blasts repeatedly with eye rays.  If it should awake, it has a cunning mind, and uses it's abilities more tactically.










*Centhahx*
"That wasn't as bad as I'd thought it would be..."

"It's lucky for us the Mooncalves were here to fight the cult instead of us."

"Why did they seem to know you?"

*Far Realms Legend*

"You and I have done this before.  This is where you first died many long years ago, in a way that made resurrection impossible.  Fortunately I'd already prepared a clone of you.

"That explains why the eldritch horror saluted me...."

"We'll need to make this key disappear again.  Without it, the cult can't bring him back."


*Le Fourier's Puzzle Box*

"What does it do?"

"Centhahx is a puzzle box with 6 different configurations.  Turning the key and manipulating the puzzles gears changes it from one configuration to another.  The cult is hoping to find a way to use the configuration that let's that thing free permanently.."

----------


## Bhu

*Chiropterid*
                      Huge Animal
*Hit Dice:*             18d8+144 (225 hp)
*Initiative:*           -1
*Speed:*                40 ft. (8 squares), Climb 20 ft.
*Armor Class:*          19 (-2 Size, -1 Dex, +12 Natural), touch 7, flat-footed 19
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +13/+31
*Attack:*               Claw +21 melee (2d6+10)
*Full Attack:*          2 Claws +21 melee (2d6+10) and 1 Bite +16 melee (3d6+5)
*Space/Reach:*          15 ft./10 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Sonic Pulse, Swat
*Special Qualities:*    Blindsight 240 ft., Scent, Low Light Vision
*Saves:*                Fort +20, Ref +10, Will +8
*Abilities:*            Str 30, Dex 9, Con 25, Int 2, Wis 15, Cha 10
*Skills:*                Listen +12, Search +5, Spot +7, Survival +7
*Feats:*                Alertness, Awesome Blow, Great Fortitude, Improved Bull Rush, Improved Toughness, Power Attack, Track
*Environment:*          Warm Forests
*Organization:*         Solitary
*Challenge Rating:*     11
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          19-36 HD (huge)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---


_"As you look up from the jungle floor to the walls of the cliffsides above, you see soemthing stirring in the giant caves running down their lengths.  Emerging from them are enormous wingless bat creatures.  The Chiropterids are awake for their nightly hunt."_

The great Druidess Devi Hyooman had tired of the endless swarms of gigantic mosquitoes infesting the rain forest she lived in.  The Dire Bats she had asked for help were too big to maneuver through the trees to catch them.  So she began a very selective breeding program over the years.  Eventually the Dire Bats became so big they lost the power of flight, their forelimbs now long front legs on their semi-erect quadrupedal forms.  They were massively barrel chested, and their sonar apparatus much more powerful, able to stun the mosquitoes long enough to be swatted from the air.  Even after she has passed on they continue living in the cliffs overlooking their jungle homes.

*Sonic Pulse (Ex):* As a Full Round Action the Chiropterid may unleash a nasty pulse of sound at it's opponents (usually giant mosquitoes) once every 1d4 rounds.  This has the effect of an 80 ft. Cone, and anything in the area must make a DC 26 Fortitude Save (Save DC is Constitution based), or be Stunned for 1 round.  If the save is successful, it is still Dazed for 1 round.

*Swat (Ex):* If the Chiropterid successfully Stuns an opponent with it's Sonic Pulse it may make one Claw Attack as a Swift action.  This attack may use the Awesome Blow Feat without taking the -4 penalty to hit.  Flying opponents within reach are knocked from the sky if hit successfully.

*Skills:* Chiropterids have a +4 Racial Bonus on Listen and Search checks.

*Combat:* Chiropterids usually open up with their Pulse and begin swatting until there's nothing left to fight, or they aren't hungry anymore.



*Chiropterid*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I are taking a look at the Chiropterids. former cryptid, now officially local fauna!"

*Skeeter Eaters*

"I can't believe these used to be common Giant Bats."

"I wouldn't get to close Jim..."

"It's okay Harlan, I think they know I'm a Ranger.  See? It just wants chin scritches."


*Scary Pets*

*sounds of concussive force distribution*

"Wow, it does not pay to be close when they do that..."

"Are you okay Jim?"

"Yeah, I think it just saw a bug."

----------


## Bhu

*Dire Vampire Squid*
                      Medium Animal (Aquatic)
*Hit Dice:*             4d8 (18 hp)
*Initiative:*           +5
*Speed:*                Swim 20 ft. (4 squares)
*Armor Class:*          15 (+1 Dex, +4 Natural), touch 11, flat-footed 14
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +3/+7
*Attack:*               Grab +7 (Grapple)
*Full Attack:*          Grab +7 (Grapple)
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Disorienting Display, Improved Grab, Beak, Grappler
*Special Qualities:*    Low Light Vision, Immunities, Hide in Plain Sight, Mucus Burst, Blindsense 30 ft., Burst of Speed, Limb Regeneration, Amorphous Body
*Saves:*                Fort +4, Ref +5, Will +2
*Abilities:*            Str 10, Dex 12, Con 11, Int 1, Wis 12, Cha 2
*Skills:*               Escape Artist +10, Hide +10, Spot +6, Swim +8
*Feats:*                Ability Focus (Disorienting Display), Improved Intiative
*Environment:*          Warm or Temperate Aquatic
*Organization:*         Solitary
*Challenge Rating:*     2
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          ---
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_"We got hired to find Vampire Squid?  Ah don't like this Abner.  Ah don't like this at all."_

_"Relax.  It's not a Vampire they just call it that."_

_"So it's some freaky bloodsucker?"_

_"Um..no.  No it doesn't suck blood._

_"Is it dead?"_

_"Um...well...no.  No it's alive.  Ah think."_

_"Well then why the hell is it called a Vampire?"_

_"Look ah just agree to kill tha stuff for money, someone else works out the details."_

_"Abner?"_

_"Sigh...yes Bert?"._

_Ah cain't swim."_

Dire Vampire Squid are larger, possibly more primitive versions of the plain old regular Vampire Squid From Hell.  Darn dramatic them biologists.

*Disorienting Display (Ex)*: The Vampire Squid can put on a disorienting light show as a Standard Action.  Opponents within 30 ft. that can see it must make a DC 14 Willpower Save (Save DC is Constitution Based) or be Fascinated for 1d6 rounds.  If the opponent rolls a natural "1" on it's Saving Throw or has an Intelligence of 3 or less, it becomes Frightened instead.

*Improved Grab (Ex)*: The Vampire Squid may attempt a Grapple check without provoking an attack of opportunity against any creature it's size class or smaller.  If successful it uses it's beak to cut into it's prey as long as it can maintain the hold.

*Beak (Ex)*: The Dire Vampire Squid does 2d6 damage with a successful Grapple Check.

*Grappler (Ex):* Due to it's multiple limbs the Dire Vampire Squid also gains a +4 Racial Bonus to Grapple Checks.

*Immunities (Ex)*: Dire Vampire Squid are immune to the pressures of deep sea waters (see Stormwrack), and can breathe normally in water that has so little oxygen content that other gilled animals would die in it.  The Dire Vampire Squid gains a +4 Racial Bonus on all Fortitude Saves to avoid starvation.

*Hide in Plain Sight (Ex)*: At the upper end of the waters inhabited by Dire Squid, creatures swimming in the waters above can be seen as dimly moving shadows in the blue light.  The Vampire Squid can swim at the top edge of this zone and cause it's underside to glow, matching the light above and concealing it from other predators like itself below.  It's top still blends in with the darkness below.  In this small instance the Dire Vampire Squid has the Camouflage and Hide in Plain Sight abilities listed in page 48 of the PHB.

*Mucous Burst (Ex)*: Once per Minute as a Free Action the Dire Vampire Squid can emit a 10 ft.x10 ft.x10 ft. cloud of phosphorescent mucous.  This cloud provides total concealment, which the squid uses to escape a losing fight.  Due to it's brightly luminous nature it affects creatures with Light Sensitivity as though they had been exposed to bright light.  This goo also sticks to them for 1d4 rounds having an effect similar to a Faerie Fire spell.

*Blindsense (Ex)*: While it is in the water the Vampire Squid has the equivalent of Blindsight 30 ft..

*Burst of Speed (Ex)*: The Dire Vampire Squid can temporarily increase it's Swim speed to 50 ft., but it only lasts for 3 rounds plus 1 round per point of Constitution Modifier, after which the DVS is Fatigued until it can rest for an hour.  The DVS cannot use this ability while it is Fatigued or Exhausted.

*Limb Regeneration (Ex)*: If the Vampire Squid loses a limb it may regenerate it within 1d4 weeks.

*Amorphous Body (Ex)*: The Vampire Squids body is amazingly elastic, and almost jelly like.  It can squeeze through spaces as though it were 2 Size Classes Smaller than it is.

*Skills*: Dire Vampire Squid have a +8 Racial Bonus to Swim Checks, and can Always Take 10 on a Swim Check.  They also have a +8 Racial Bonus to Escape Artist and Hide Checks.  

*Combat*: The Dire Vampire Squid usually opens up with it's Disorienting Display before going for the grapple.  If it's beak can't subdue the opponent it sprays it with mucous before fleeing.



*Giant Vampire Squid From Hell*

"Testing, testing...is this thing on?"

"The palantir is working fine Jim, there's just a little lag from the distance."

*3000 Feet Down*

"I'm over a mile down Harlan, how the Hell did  the head office even know of these things?"

"An Anguilian told us. Do you see one yet?"

"I think so.  What did the office call these things again?"


*As Weird As It Gets*

"The Giant Vampire Squid From Hell."

"We're overselling it.  It's the size of a large dog."

"Well that's disappointing."

"Also, it's definitely neither Fiendish or Undead."

----------


## Bhu

*Headless Mule*
                      Large Magical Beast
*Hit Dice:*             5d10+15 (42 hp)
*Initiative:*           +1
*Speed:*                30 ft. (6 squares)
*Armor Class:*          15 (-1 Size, +1 Dex, +5 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 14
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +5/+12
*Attack:*               Hoof +7 melee (1d4+3)
*Full Attack:*          2 Hooves +7 melee (1d4+3)
*Space/Reach:*          10 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Hallucinatory Aura
*Special Qualities:*    Darkvision 60 ft., Scent
*Saves:*                Fort +7, Ref +5, Will +4
*Abilities:*            Str 16, Dex 13, Con 16, Int 4, Wis 16, Cha 16
*Skills:*               Listen +7, Spot +7
*Feats:*                Ability Focus (Hallucinatory Aura), Endurance
*Environment:*          Warm Plains
*Organization:*         Solitary, Pair, or Group (3-12)
*Challenge Rating:*     4
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          6-10 HD (Large)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_"Bert...ever since we bought this mule...the world seems...strange..."_

Despite the name Headless Mules are not actually headless.  Ask anyone their origin story, and you'll get some weird, bizarre crap about a woman sleeping with a priest and being cursed to become a headless mule that spits fire and rainbows, and haunts the countryside on Thursdays.  

In reality, this particular species of mule has evolved to use magic as a defense in a similar manner to the Pale Horse.  Except, instead of seeing the Mule as some incarnation of death, victims get a reeeeeeeeally bad trip.  The hallucinatory effect is responsible for the many crazy origin stories regarding the Mule, several local towns in the area, and a great many legends that don't make a damn bit of sense to anyone other than the towns residents.  

*Hallucinatory Aura (Su):* Any creature within 60 ft. of a Headless Mule must make a DC 17 Willpower Save or go bat**** crazy and begin hallucinating (Save DC is Cha based).  The Save DC is +1 for every 10 feet closer than 60 feet the creature is.  If the Save is Failed the opponent sees/hears/interacts with something that isn't  there, and misses it's turn.  If the victim fails the Save by 5 or more or rolls a Natural 1, it's fears come to life, and they are affected by a Phantasmal Killer spell instead.  Opponents must make a Save each round they are in range.  This is a Mind-Affecting Effect.

*Combat:* Headless Mules are rarely required to be involved in combat.  Most of the time they chew grass while watching predators freak out curled up in a fetal position.  They have seen many things.  Horrible things.  The world should be glad they cannot speak of them.



*Headless Mule*

"I can taste Colors Harlan..."

"Step away from the mule Jim!"

*Approach Not The Biggie Sized Mule*

"Why doesn't the mule have a head Harlan?"

"Step away from the mule Jim!"


*Despite The Name It Has A Head, We Assure You*

"But the Mule is fun!

"Okay, just stand still.  I'm sending in the Flesh Golems to retrieve you."

----------


## Bhu

*Giant, Vampire*
                      Large Giant
*Hit Dice:*             5d8+15 (37 hp)
*Initiative:*           +1
*Speed:*                40 ft. (8 squares)
*Armor Class:*          19 (-1 Size, +1 Dex, +9 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 18
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +3/+12
*Attack:*               Slam +7 melee (1d4+5) or Dagger +7 melee (1d6+5)
*Full Attack:*          2 Slams +7 melee (1d4+5) and 1 Bite +2 melee (1d4+2) or Dagger +7 melee (1d6+5)
*Space/Reach:*          10 ft./10 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Spell-Like Abilities
*Special Qualities:*    Darkvision 60 ft., Low-light Vision, Regeneration 5, SR 18
*Saves:*                Fort +7, Ref +2, Will +3
*Abilities:*            Str 20, Dex 12, Con 16, Int 13, Wis 14, Cha 18
*Skills:*               Bluff +8, Concentration +7, Diplomacy +8, Listen +6, Sense Motive +6, Spot +6
*Feats:*                Boost Spell-Like Ability (Enthrall, see Book of Vile Darkness), Heightened Spell-Like Ability (Kiss of the Vampire, see Complete Arcane)
*Environment:*          Any
*Organization:*         Solitary, pair, or Family (3-6) plus 1d6 random hangers-on (usually Humans with 1d6 Class Levels)
*Challenge Rating:*     7
*Treasure:*             Double Standard
*Alignment:*            Usually Neutral
*Advancement:*          By Character Class
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

"GET THE HELL OFF MY LAND YOU WEIRDOS!"

Long ago, a race of Giants petitioned their God Flea for help.  Tired of being attacked by the humans for being ugly and scary (well, and for occasionally eating them), they wanted a form more acceptable to the smaller races.  Doing some research, the God noticed the local villagers were kind of a vampire fanbase.  The Giants were shrunken in size a bit, and made to look undead-ish.  Now the humans have stopped trying to kill them in the night, and instead scream "bite me vampire mommy" at every opportunity.  The Giants feel certain this is not an improvement.  They now appear as thickly built humans roughly 10 feet tall.  They have pale, marble-like skin, bright yellow eyes, red lips and coal black hair.  They are fond of living in lonely places surrounded by monsters to dissuade thirsty humans who insist on interrupting their day to make seduction attempts that would make a Bard shake his head.  Normal vampires are not fond of them, as they feel they don't need competition for their potential meals.

*Spell-Like Abilities (Sp):* At Will: Enthrall, Fangs of the Vampire King (Spell Compendium), Fog Cloud, Kiss of the Toad (Complete Arcane).  1/day: Charm Person, Kiss of the Vampire (Spell Compendium), Magic Fang, Vampiric Touch.  Caster level 9th. The save DCs are Charisma-based.

*Regeneration (Ex):* Fire and silver deal normal damage to a Vampire Giant. If a Vampire Giant loses a limb or body part, the lost portion regrows in 3d6 minutes. The creature can reattach the severed member instantly by holding it to the stump. 

*Combat:* Vampire Giants start with their magic, and end with their fists.  They may not have to even do that, as their howling mob of fans tend to annihilate problems for them.




*Vampire Giant*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim will be interviewing a rare subspecies of Giant!"

*Cursed By Their Own God*

"Good evening ma'am!"

"Let's keep this classy, I know what you Humanoids are like."

"We're a family show ma'am.  We keep it clean."

"Good.  I suppose you want to know about my rivalry with that Harlot across the way?"

*Unintentionally Famous*

"Actually, we were here to inquire about your species origins."

"Do I look like local fauna to you?"

*Fangs of the Vampire King*
_3rd Level Transmutation_
*Casting Time:* 1 Action
*Range:* Self
*Components:* V, S, M (a fang)
*Duration:* Concentration, up to 1 Minute
You grow fangs for the duration of the spell (or get better fangs if you already have them).  Your Fangs are a melee spell attack that do 3d8 piercing damage, in addition to the affects of any Bite attack you may already have.  Additionally, the target must make a Constitution Save or gain one Level of Exhaustion until the spell ends.


*Kiss of the Toad*
_2nd Level Necromancy_
*Casting Time:* 1 Action
*Range:* Touch
*Components:* V, S
*Duration:* Instantaneous (but see below)
As part of this spell you make a melee spell attack by trying to touch your victim.  If the attack is successful it does 3d6 Poison damage, and the target must make a Constitution Save 1 Minute Later.  If it fails, the target takes an additional 3d6 Poison damage.


*Kiss of the Vampire*
_5th Level Necromancy_
*Casting Time:* 1 Action
*Range:* Self
*Components:* V, S, M (a black onyx worth at least 50 GP)
*Duration:* Concentration, up to 1 Minute
You become gaunt and pale with red eyes, resembling a vampire.  For the duration of the spell you gain the following:
Your melee attacks do an extra 1d6 necrotic damage, and your melee attacks are considered magical.
You gain Damage Resistance to non-magical Bludgeoning, Piercing and Slashing damage.  You also gain Damage Resistance to Necrotic damage.
You make melee spell attacks with advantage.

----------


## Bhu

*Emu, Lord*
                      Large Magical Beast
*Hit Dice:*             4d10+16 (38 hp)
*Initiative:*           +2
*Speed:*                60 ft. (12 squares)
*Armor Class:*          18 (-1 Size, +2 Dex, +7 Natural), touch 11, flat-footed 16
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +4/+13
*Attack:*               Kick +8 melee (1d8+5)
*Full Attack:*          1 Kick +8 melee (1d8+5) and 1 Peck +3 melee (1d4+2)
*Space/Reach:*          10 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Aura of Leadership, Dominate Emu, Grant Move Action, Frightening Presence
*Special Qualities:*    Darkvision 60 ft., DR 5/-
*Saves:*                Fort +8, Ref +6, Will +3
*Abilities:*            Str 20, Dex 14, Con 18, Int 14, Wis 14, Cha 16
*Skills:*               Bluff +6, Intimidate +6, Jump +8, Knowledge (Geography) +5, Listen +6, Sense Motive +6, Spot +6, Survival +6
*Feats:*                Endurance, Run
*Environment:*          Warm Plains
*Organization:*         Solitary, plus 10-100 Emus
*Challenge Rating:*    3
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Neutral
*Advancement:*          5-12 HD (Large)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

"Oh, this is some extra special deluxe bull (beep) right here..."

"Destroy!"

"I get the feeling that bird doesn't like us."

Emu Lords are larger than average Emus wearing pointy metal helmets.  They terrorize the countryside, leading flocks of hypnotized Emu brigands, and are the cause of many wars.  Strangely enough, no one has given any thought to their origins or goals.  Mostly everyone wants to know where they get the little helmets from.  Many speak Common, but they seem to be wildly xenophobic to non-bird species, and so talk very rarely.

*
Aura of Leadership (Su):* The Emu Lord exerts an effect on allies in it's vicinity.  Projecting an aura is a swift action. The aura remains in effect until the Emu Lord uses a free action to dismiss it.   An Emu Lords aura affects all allies within 60 feet (excluding itself).  An Emu Lords aura is dismissed if it is dazed, unconscious, stunned, paralyzed, or otherwise unable to consciously direct it's allies.  Allies may add the Emu Lords Charisma Modifier to attack rolls, skill checks, saving throws and Armor Class while within the aura.  These are Circumstance Bonuses that do not stack.  Allies also gain DR x/-, where x equals the Emu Lord's Charisma modifier.

*Dominate Emu (Sp):* The Emu Lord can cast Dominate Animal at will as a 5th Level Sorcerer.   Unlike normal, the duration is one day per Level, and only works on Emus.

*Grant Move Action (Ex):* The Emu Lord can direct and motivate it's allies to act immediately. Three times per day, as a standard action, it may grant an extra move action to any or all of it's allies within 30 feet (but not to itself). Each of the affected allies takes this extra move action immediately, acting in their current initiative order.  This extra action does not affect the allies' initiative count; the round continues normally after the Emu Lords turn is over. (This may mean, for example, that an ally whose initiative count immediately follows the Emu Lords may get an extra move action from the Emu Lord, followed directly by a full round worth of actions on the ally's turn.).  An ally can take only one extra move action per round. (In other words, two Emu Lords can't use this ability on the same ally in the same round.) If an ally chooses not to take the extra move action, it is lost

*Frightening Presence (Ex):* Emu Lords can unsettle foes with their mere presence. The ability takes effect automatically whenever the Emu Lord attacks, or charges. Creatures within a radius of 30 feet are subject to the effect if they have fewer HD than the Emu Lord. A potentially affected creature that succeeds on a DC 15 Will save (DC 10 + ½ Emu Lords HD + Emu Lords Cha modifier) remains immune to that Emu Lords frightful presence for 24 hours. On a failure, creatures with 3 or less HD become Frighteneed for 1d6 rounds. Emu Lords ignore the frightful presence of other Emu Lords. 

*Combat:* Emu Lords lead from the front, charging into battle with their flock.  They peck and kick till whatever is before them stops moving, or they take enough casualties that retreat is necessary.


*Emu*
                      Medium Animal
*Hit Dice:*             1d8+2 (6 hp)
*Initiative:*           +2
*Speed:*                60 ft. (12 squares)
*Armor Class:*          13 (+2 Dex, +1 Natural), touch 13, flat-footed 11
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +0/+3
*Attack:*               Kick +3 melee (1d6+3)
*Full Attack:*          1 Kick +3 melee (1d6+3) and 1 Peck -2 melee (1d4+1)
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      ---
*Special Qualities:*    Low-light Vision
*Saves:*                Fort +4, Ref +4, Will +1
*Abilities:*            Str 16, Dex 14, Con 14, Int 2, Wis 13, Cha 11
*Skills:*               Jump +3, Listen +3, Spot +3
*Feats:*                Endurance, Run (B)
*Environment:*          Warm Plains
*Organization:*         Solitary, Pair or Flock (3 to Eleventy Billion)
*Challenge Rating:*     1/2
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          2-3 HD (Mebium)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

Emus are large, gangly birds that look terrifying when they run, because they flap about so much you're just never sure what they're up to.

*Combat:* Emus usually run, but every so often one gets the Devil in him and starts some fuss.

*Emu, Lord*

"We're supposed to be looking for cryptids, how the Hell did we manage to arrive in the middle of some sort of war?"

"The cryptid is said to have inspired the war Jim."

*Warmongers*

"Harlan, you teleported me into a skirmish between Elves and giant birds!"

"No worries Jim, you still have the cube of force."


*Terrifying, Even With The Teeny Little Helmets*

"Let me see if I can ask this bird what's going on.  Excuse me, sir?"

*"DESTROY!"*

"He doesn't appear very cooperative Jim."

"He seems determined to peck through that forcewall though.."

----------


## Metastachydium

> *Centhahx*
> 
> ()
> 
> *Attack:*               Bite +27 melee (3d6+9) and Eye Rays +22 ranged touch (varies)
> *Full Attack:*          Bite +27 melee (3d6+9) and Eye Rays +22 ranged touch (varies)


I think I might be missing something here. +22 BAB +6 STR/+0 DEX -2 size should give +26 melee and +20 ranged to-hit.




> *Skills:*               Decipher Script +24, Intimidate +21, Knowledge (Arcana, Dungeoneering, Geography, History) +24, Listen +25, Search +28, Spot +29, Use Magic Device +23


I count one more skill point spent than available.




> 5 Beneficiary: This configuration allows Centhahx to possess a corpse placed no more than 30 feet from it.  This corpse has the abilities of the original base creature with the Zombie template, but with Centhahx's mental ability scores and skills.  This possession lasts for 1d6 weeks, and then the magic holding the body together unravels, and Centhahx returns to it's clockwork template, but Centhahx's skills and mental ability scores.


I'm not sure I understand the last sentence there. It's missing a verb or something.




> *Flight (Su):* Centhahx can fly as the spell, as a free action, at a speed of 40 feet. This also grants it a permanent featherfall effect with personal range.


Careful there! Most official creatures with this have it specified in their description that they can _cease or resume_ flight as a free action. Worded as it is, it suggests they get free action movement which is wild.




> "You and I have done this before.  This is where you first died many long years ago, in a way that made resurrection impossible.  Fortunately I'd already prepared a clone of you.


And it comes to light at last! Honestly, I expected something more sinister going on with Jim being a clone, given that Harlan's, well, Harlan.




> *Chiropterid*


'Handwinged-like' is a weird name for a wingless critter, I have to say. Otherwise, these are real cute.




> *Skills:*                Listen +12, Search +5, Spot +9, Survival +7


And they appear to have two more skill points to spend!




> *Swat (Ex):* If the Chiropterid successfully Stuns an opponent with it's Sonic Pulse it may make one Claw Attack as an immediate action.


That should be swift or free, unless the bat thing's supposed to swat stuff outside its turn.




> *Dire Vampire Squid*
> 
> ()
> 
> *Attack:*               Grab +8 (Grapple)
> *Full Attack:*          Grab +8 (Grapple)


Where's the +8 coming from? Should be +7 if it's really just a grapple check.




> *Special Attacks:*      Disorienting Display, Improved Grab, Beak, Grappler
> *Special Qualities:*    Low Light Vision, Immunities, Hide in Plain Sight, Mucus Burst, Blindsense 30 ft., Burst of Speed, Limb Regeneration, Amorphous Body


That's quite the cluster of special abilities on a 4 HD thing. All of them make plenty of sense being there, but still.




> *Headless Mule*


Heh. Nothing to comment on here, but I must say I like it. I'm low-key surprised the Organization line doesn't include a gaggle of stoners chilling in its aura at all times, though.




> *Giant, Vampire*
> 
> ()
> 
> *Special Qualities:*    Darkvision 60 ft., Low-light Vision, Regeneration 5


Exact mechanism for regeneration unspecified (does this mean "the usual acid/fire"?).




> The Giants feel certain this is not an improvement.


But hey, at least they aren't shining!




> *Emu, Lord*


MORE BIRDIES! And what lovely birdies at that! (Have you been to the Down-Below recently?)




> *Hit Dice:*             4d10+8 (30 hp)


These are tougher birdies than that! CON 18 should give 4d10+16 (38 hp).




> *Special Attacks:*      Aura of Leadership, Dominate Emu, Grant Move Action, Frightening Presence


Like marshal but better and also a bird? Sign me up on that.




> Mostly everyone wants to know where they get the little helmets from.


_[Maniacal grin.]_




> *Emu*
> 
> ()
> 
> *Skills:*               Jump +3, Listen +2, Spot +3


I think these guys have one more skill point to spend.




> Emus are large, gangly birds that look terrifying when they run, because they flap about so much you're just never sure what they're up to.


Victory over Australia! Obviously.




> "Harlan, you teleported me into a skirmish between Elves and giant birds!"


Die, elves, die!

----------


## Bhu

> Careful there! Most official creatures with this have it specified in their description that they can _cease or resume_ flight as a free action. Worded as it is, it suggests they get free action movement which is wild.


 It's exactly how it's worded in the Beholder entry in the MM (damn tough them Beholders).  I has made edits to all the entries.






> That's quite the cluster of special abilities on a 4 HD thing. All of them make plenty of sense being there, but still.


 I could've added more lol.  Vampire squids are darn weird critters.


There will be 6 Kaiju Level critters this week (2 of which will be birdies).

----------


## Metastachydium

> I could've added more lol.  Vampire squids are darn weird critters.


Heh. They sure are.




> There will be 6 Kaiju Level critters this week (2 of which will be birdies).


CAN'T. WAIT.

----------


## Bhu

*The Black Eye* 
Gargantuan Aberration
*Hit Dice:*  36d8+288 (450 hp)
*Initiative:*  +7
*Speed:*  10 ft. (2 squares), Fly 30 ft. (good), Swim 50 ft.
*Armor Class:*  26 (-4 Size, -1 Dex, +21 Natural), touch 5, flat-footed 26
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +27/+52
*Attack:*  Eye Rays +22 ranged touch and 1 Tentacle +37 melee (2d6+13)
*Full Attack:*  Eye Rays +22 ranged touch, 10 Tentacles +37 melee (2d6+13), and 1 Bite +34 melee (3d6+6)
*Space/Reach:*  20 ft./15 ft. (tentacles 30 ft)
*Special Attacks:*  Baleful Flash, Constrict 3d8+13, Eye Rays, Improved Grab, Persistent Image
*Special Qualities:*  All-Around Vision, Dark Vision 60 ft., Flight, Damage Reduction 15/-, Black Skin
*Saves:*  Fort +22, Ref +11, Will +26
*Abilities:*  Str 36, Dex 8, Con 26, Int 12, Wis 18, Cha 24
*Skills:*  Hide +8 (+28 at night), Listen +35, Search +35, Spot +39, Survival +12 (+14 following tracks)
*Feats:*  Ability Focus (Baleful Flash), Alertness, Fling Enemy*, Flyby Attack, Great Fortitude, Hover, Improved Initiative, Iron Will, Large and In Charge, Multiattack, Multigrab*, Superior Initiative*, Weapon Focus (Tentacle)
*Environment:*  Cold Aquatic
*Organization:*  Unique
*Challenge Rating:*  18
*Treasure:*  Double Standard
*Alignment:*  Neutral Evil
*Advancement:*  37+ HD 
*Level Adjustment:*  ---

* See Savage Species or Epic Handbook

_"I won't risk pirates.  We'll change course and head into the South Ocean.  They won't chase us there."_

_"But what about the rumors about the South Ocean sir?  About the ships disappearing and the monsters?"_

The creature known as the Black Eye began life as a humble Eye of the Deep. Upon being spawned it was jet black with milky pupil less eyes. Instead of the normal claws it had 10 long ropey black tentacles, 2 of which had functional hands. Normally such a mutation would have been killed by its parent, but the Eye was lucky and rivals had determined to take out his progenitor when it was at its weakest. The Eye was the only member of his brood to escape in the chaos. It grew enormous over time, intelligent but still feral. The Eye is now a legend in the ocean it haunts, plaguing the shipping lanes.

*Baleful Flash (Su):*  Once per round, as a free action the Eye can generate a gigantic flash of light in a 120 ft.cone from its central eye. Opponents in the cone must make a DC 38 Fortitude Save or be Blinded for 3d6 rounds and Stunned for half that duration. A successful save negates the Stun and reduces the blindness to Dazzled. Sightless creatures are immune to this effect. Save DC is Constitution based.

*Constrict (Ex):*  The Eye deals 3d8+13 damage with a successful Grapple check.

*Eye Rays (Su):*  The Eye has 2 eye rays with a range of 250 feet, and a Save DC of 35 (Save DC is Charisma based) that it can use once per round as a free action. Caster Level equals the Eye's Hit Dice. The first eye produces a Hold Monster effect (DC 35 Will Save), the second produces a Cone of Cold (DC 35 Reflex Save, only effects target touched by the ray).  Save DC's are Charisma based.

*Improved Grab (Ex):*  If the Eye hits with a tentacle attack it can attempt a Grapple as a free action without provoking an attack of opportunity. If it wins the grapple check it may constrict. 

*Persistent Image (Sp):*  As a standard action the Eye may create a Persistent Image as the spell of the same name (caster level equals the Eyes Hit Dice). Willpower Save DC is 22. It cant use the Eye rays in the same round it casts Persistent Image. Save DC is Charisma based.

*All-Around Vision (Ex):*  The Black Eyes many eyes give it a +4 racial bonus on Spot and Search checks, and it cannot be flanked.

*Black Skin (Ex):* At night or in dark areas the Black Eye has a +8 Circumstance Bonus to Hide checks, and does not receive a penalty to Hide checks due to Size.

*Flight (Ex):* The Eyes body is naturally buoyant granting it a permanent Feather Fall effect as per the spell of the same name with personal range.

*Combat:* Initially the Eye will use it's Persistent Image to distract guards on a ships crew at night.  It will then use it's Flash to blind them, and pull them over the side to drown.  It will do this on multiple nights to whittle down the crew it's facing before finally attacking.


*The Black Eye*

"Harlan I question the wisdom of this."

"But Jim, it will be a feather in our cap if we can prove The Black Eye exists."

*A Lone Mutant*

"Giant Beholder-kin do not make for fun interviews."

"No worries Jim, I speak their language, and I'm well versed in Beholder-kin diplomacy."


*Ironically, It's Eyes Are The Very Opposite of Black*

"Harlan, the hill we're standing behind just blinked..."

"And so we meet our old friend Teleportation again..."

----------


## Bhu

*GAK, SPAAAAAAAAAAAAACE CHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICKEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNN*
                      Colossal+ Outsider 
*Hit Dice:*             70d8+1260 (1575 hp)
*Initiative:*           +4
*Speed:*                60 ft. (12 squares), Fly 240 ft. (Clumsy)
*Armor Class:*          56 (-8 Size, +4 Dex, +30 Natural, +20 Deflection), touch 26, flat-footed 52
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +70/+104
*Attack:*               Peck +81 melee (12d6+18/19-20)
*Full Attack:*          1 Peck +81 melee (12d6+18/19-20) and 2 Scratches +75 melee (8d6+9)
*Space/Reach:*          40 ft./40 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Planetfall, Nonstop Squawking, Trample (4d12+24), Frightful Presence, Ultimate Bawk
*Special Qualities:*    Dark Vision 240 ft., Immunities, SR 41, DR 40/Epic, Fast Healing 20, Energy Resistance 25 (Acid, Electricity, Sonic)
*Saves:*                Fort +59, Ref +41, Will +44
*Abilities:*            Str 46, Dex 18, Con 46, Int 5, Wis 24, Cha 35
*Skills:*               Climb +57, Intimidate +51, Jump +57, Knowledge (Geography, Wildspace*) +26, Listen +36, Search +36, Spot +37, Survival +46, Swim +57, Use Magic Device +26
*Feats:*                Adroit Flyby Attack (Draconomicon), Awesome Blow, Cleave, Combat Reflexes, Devastating Critical (Peck, Epic), Dodge, Epic Fortitude (Epic), Flyby Attack, Great Cleave, Great Flyby Attack (Savage Species), Hover, Improved Bull Rush, Improved Critical (Peck), Improved Flyby Attack (Savage Species), Improved Snatch, Large and in Charge (Draconomicon), Mobility, Multisnatch (Draconomicon), Overwhelming Critical (Peck, Epic), Power Attack, Power Critical (Peck, Deities and Demigods), Snatch, Weapon Focus (Peck), Wingover 
*Environment:*          Any
*Organization:*         Unique
*Challenge Rating:*     34
*Treasure:*             Triple Standard
*Alignment:*            Neutral
*Advancement:*          71+ HD (Colossal)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

* see Spelljammer.org

_"Bert...Bert a giant meteor crushed that town over yonder!"_

_"You woke me up for that?_

_"Well it ain't every night a giant space rock destroys a city.  What if there are more?  Wait...is it movin'?"_

_"Go back to sleep Abner."_

"BAWK! BAWK BAWK BAWK BAWK BAAAAAAAAAAAAAWK!"

_"Saddle the horse Abner.  Sleep doesn't look like it's waitin' for us tonight..."_

The being known as Gak! Spaaaace Chiiiiiiickkkeeeeeeeeeeeennn (insert echo effect here), is an odd being traveling through space visiting planets looking for something.  At least it appears to be that way.  He (everyone calls Gak a him) always makes scratching and nosing about as if looking for something his first priority after he falls from the sky.  Gak appears as a vaguely chickenlike entity with leathery grey hide as opposed to feathers, stubby wings that shouldn't support it's body weight, deely bobber antennae, and an odd crest that runs from the top of it's head down it's back.  It also has huge glowing eyes, and screams and babbles almost nonstop, causing instant hatred in all who encounter it as they pray for it to just shut up.  While Gak appears to be speaking a language, no one has yet deciphered what it is (although no one has used magical means of communicating yet either).

*Planetfall (Ex)*:  When Gak initially visits a planet, he simply falls from the sky doing 40d6 Force damage in a 500 ft. area.  Those in the area get a DC 63 Reflex Save for half damage, Save DC is Con based.

*Nonstop Squawking (Ex)*: Gak never shuts up.  Ever.  As long as he is conscious, so is everything else within the next few miles.  Anything within 120 ft. of Gak must make a DC63 Listen check to hear anything anyone else says, possibly ruining any language dependent effects as you simply cant hear them (Save DC is Con based, and the DC is lowered by -5 for every 10 ft. past the normal 120 ft. range).  Bards must make a Level Check against Gak for their Bardic Music to work.  Anything failing the Save once is permanently Deafened as well.

*Ultimate Bawk (Su)*: Gak unleashes a horrifyingly loud bawk that can be heard over an area of roughly 50 miles.  It may do this once per day.  The Ultimate Bawk does 35d6 Sonic damage in an area of 50 ft.  For every 5 ft. past the initial 50 ft. area damage drops by 1d6, and for every 10 ft. past the Save DC lowers by 5. Opponents in this area can make a DC 57 Fortitude Save (Save DC is Charisma based) for half damage.  Opponents who fail the Save are also permanently deafened.

*Trample (Ex)*: DC 63 Reflex Save for half damage (Save DC is Strength Based).

*Frightful Presence (Ex)*: Any creature who has less Hit Dice than Gak and is within 240 ft. of him when he lands, attacks, or flies overhead must make a DC 57 Willpower Save or be Panicked for 2d6 rounds (Save DC is Charisma based).  If the Save is Successful the opponent is Shaken for the duration of the encounter instead.

*Immunities (Ex)*: Gak is immune to Mind Influencing Effects, poison, sleep effects, paralysis, disease, and ability drain/damage.  He is also immune to Cold, Fire and Falling Damage.

*Combat*: Gak tends to Bawk before charging.  He is not a genius.



*Gak, Space Chicken*

"Well something leveled this town..."

"It reeks of strange energies here."

*Destroyer of Worlds!*

"What could have made this crater?  And where did it go?"

"Well...there were rumors of a giant monster falling from the sky..."


*What It Wants Is A Mystery*

"Jebus, are we doing another cryptid episode?"

"BAKAW!"

"Maybe..."

----------


## Bhu

*Titan Budgie* (aka the Dire Peep)
                      Colossal Magical Beast
*Hit Dice:*             36d10+360 (558 hp)
*Initiative:*           +0
*Speed:*                60 ft. (8 squares)
*Armor Class:*         32 (-8 Size, +30 Natural), touch 2, flat-footed 32
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +36/+67
*Attack:*               Peck +43 melee (8d6+22/19-20)
*Full Attack:*          2 Pecks +43 melee (8d6+22/19-20)
*Space/Reach:*          30 ft./30 ft.
*Special Attacks:*    Trample (8d8+22)
*Special Qualities:*    Low Light Vision, DR 15/-, SR 30
*Saves:*                Fort +30, Ref +20, Will +12
*Abilities:*            Str 40, Dex 10, Con 30, Int 1, Wis 10, Cha 14
*Skills:*               Listen +13, Search +8, Spot +13
*Feats:*                Awesome Blow, Cleave, Great Cleave, Greater Mighty Roar, Improved Bull Rush, Improved Critical (Bite), Mighty Roar, Multisnatch, Overwhelming Critical (Bite), Power Attack, Snatch, Stamp, Weapon Focus (Bite)*
*Environment:*         Warm or Temperate Plains
*Organization:*         Solitary, Pair, or Flock (3-6) 
*Challenge Rating:*     18
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*         37-72 HD (Colossal)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

* All feats not found in the PHB are from Savage Species or the Draconomicon.

_"Screw this Bert.  Lets just refund their money."_

*PEEEEP!!!*

Titan Budgies are the unfortunate side effect of a prank at a wizards college.  Superficially they resemble baby chicks, or songbirds who have grown so massive that their wings have atrophied and they can no longer fly.  They spend much of their time pecking about for food or peeping in a surprisingly loud bass voice. Titan Budgies are also notoriously territorial and will crush or run off anything larger than Medium Size class that gets in their domain (medium size critters are for light snacking).  It is highly rumored that the mages responsible died or fled the Plane.  Many locals whose farms the Titan Budgies have uprooted would very desperately like to know the truth of this.  And it's not because they expect to sodomize them with a pitchfork or something cliche.  Really, they swear.

*Trample (Ex)*: DC 41 Reflex Save for Half Damage.

*Combat*: Titan Budgies normally use their Trample attacks against annoying small critters unless they're feeling hungry.  Then they peck.




*Titan Budgie*

"So we're looking for some form of infant land dwelling Roc?"

"More or less."

*The Big Peep!*

"What could possibly interest the office in this?"

"It fits our shows current theme, and they're supposed to be cute.  The audience is a sucker for cute."


*Do Not Approach!*

"Uh, Harlan...I can see one, and it's not so cute from here..."

"PEEEP!"

"You still have that cube of force right?  Cause I'm out of spells for the day."

----------


## Bhu

*Kraken, Ammonoid*
                     Gargantuan Magical Beast (Aquatic)
*Hit Dice:*             20d10+220 (330 hp)
*Initiative:*           +3
*Speed:*                Swim 15 ft. (3 squares)
*Armor Class:*          30 (-4 Size, -1 Dex, +25 Natural), touch 5, flat-footed 30
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +20/+45
*Attack:*               Tentacle +29 melee (1d8+13)
*Full Attack:*          6 Tentacles +29 melee (1d8+13) and 1 Bite +24 melee (4d6+6)
*Space/Reach:*          20 ft./15 ft. (30 ft. with tentacles)
*Special Attacks:*      Improved Grab, Constrict (1d8+13)
*Special Qualities:*    Dark Vision 60 ft., Ink Cloud, Low Light Vision, Spell Like Abilities, Hard Shelled
*Saves:*                Fort +22, Ref +11, Will +10
*Abilities:*            Str 36, Dex 9, Con 30, Int 18, Wis 18, Cha 18
*Skills:*               Concentration +20, Diplomacy +14, Hide +1, Intimidate +18, Knowledge (Geography, Nature) +14, Listen +16, Search +14, Sense Motive +14, Spot +16, Survival +14, Swim +31, Use Magic Device +14
*Feats:*                Alertness, Blind-Fight, Defensive Sweep (PHB2), Improved Initiative, Improved Toughness, Multiattack, Multigrab (Savage Species)
*Environment:*          Warm Aquatic
*Organization:*         Solitary
*Challenge Rating:*     12
*Treasure:*             Triple Standard
*Alignment:*            Usually Neutral Evil
*Advancement:*          21-32 HD (Gargantuan), 33-60 HD (Colossal)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---


_"If you see any large shells on the sea floor during the dive, get out of there immediately"._

There are reports of odd Krakens with spiraled shells protecting their bodies.  If possible they may even be more surly and aggressive than their counterparts, but do not display as much intellectual prowess (which is not to say that they are dumb, they still tend to make plans for ambushes).  Ammonoid Krakens tend to live in comparatively shallow waters, and are therefore a bit more of a threat than usual.

*Improved Grab (Ex):* If the Kraken successfully hits with a tentacle attack it may make a Grapple Check as a Free Action without provoking an Attack of Opportunity.

*Constrict (Ex):* A Kraken does 1d8+13 damage with a Grapple check.

*Ink Cloud (Ex):* A kraken can emit a cloud of jet-black ink in an 80-foot spread once per minute as a free action. The cloud provides total concealment, which the kraken normally uses to escape a fight that is going badly. Creatures within the cloud are considered to be in darkness.

*Spell Like Abilities (Sp):* 1/day: Control Winds, Forestfold, Turbidity, Waterspout.  Caster Level 9, Save DC's are Charisma Based. See Stormwrack and Spell Compendium for some spells.

*Skills:* Krakens have a +8 Racial Bonus to Swim checks, and may always Take 10 on a Swim Check.  They may use the Run Action while swimming in a straight line.

*Hard Shelled (Ex):* The Krakens hard shell give it a 75% chance of ignoring a Critical Hit.

*Combat:* Ammonoid Krakens like to use their spells to sink ships, and then pick the crew off one by one.  An opponent can make sunder attempts against a krakens tentacles as if they were weapons. A krakens tentacles have 10 hit points. If a kraken is currently grappling a target with one tentacle, it usually uses another limb to make its attack of opportunity against the sunder attempt. Severing a krakens tentacle deals damage to the kraken equal to 5 hit points. A kraken usually withdraws from combat if it loses three of it's tentacles. A kraken regrows severed limbs in 1d10+10 days.



*Ammonoid Kraken*

"What the hell are we doing in a submersible in the middle of the Dark Sea?"

"We're looking for an old friend Jim.  He told me he knows of a Ghost that used to be a Kraken."

*The Eldest of Krakens*

"We're looking for a giant ghost..."

"In theory, yes."


*Sinking Ships For The Funsies*

"Um...there's a Kraken off the port side..."

"Can't be, it has a shell."

*"I beg your pardon, I am so a Kraken!"*

"My apologies good sir.  We're looking for the whereabouts of a fellow named 'Old Bob', might you know of his whereabouts?."

"Turn left at the Archipelago, and go 5 miles straight down.  Can't miss him.

"Is the sub rated for that depth?"

----------


## Bhu

http://www.sapphire-steele.com/tim/06_05.jpg


*Cirrate Kraken*
                      Gargantuan Magical Beast (Aquatic)
*Hit Dice:*             20d10+180 (290 hp)
*Initiative:*           +5
*Speed:*                Swim 20 ft. (4 squares)
*Armor Class:*          21 (-4 Size, +1 Dex, +14 Natural), touch 7, flat-footed 20
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +20/+42
*Attack:*               Engulf +26 melee touch (grapple)
*Full Attack:*          Engulf +26 melee touch (grapple)
*Space/Reach:*          20 ft./15 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Improved Grab, Constrict (8d6+10)
*Special Qualities:*    Blindness, 360 ft. Blindsight, Psi-Like Abilities
*Saves:*                Fort +21, Ref +13, Will +13
*Abilities:*            Str 30, Dex 12, Con 29, Int 24, Wis 20, Cha 20
*Skills:*               Autohypnosis +20, Concentration +29, Hide +12, Intimidate +20, Knowledge (Psionics) +22, Knowledge (Nature) +22, Listen +22, Search +22, Sense Motive +20, Spot +22, Survival +20, Swim +33, Use Psionic Device +22
*Feats:*                Alertness, Blind-Fight, Combat Manifestation, Improved Initiative, Iron Will, Skill Focus: Hide, Power Penetration
*Environment:*          Cold Aquatic
*Organization:*         Solitary
*Challenge Rating:*     12
*Treasure:*             Triple Standard
*Alignment:*            Usually Neutral Evil
*Advancement:*          21-32 HD (Gargantuan), 33-60 HD (Colossal)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_"We are NOT steering this ship into deeper waters.  I've seen whats down there, and I barely escaped the last time..."_

Cirrate Kraken live 7000 meters or more below the surface.  Due to being nearly blind, and having no ink or jets, many believe them to be among the most primitive of Krakens.  This is untrue, they are merely better adapted to their lightless environment.  Cirrate Krakens speak Aquan and Sahuagin (maybe Common as well).

*Blindsight (Ex):* The Cirrate Kraken has Blindsight with a range of 360 feet.

*Improved Grab (Ex):* Cirrate Kraken can make a Grapple Check without provoking an Attack of Opportunity.

*Constrict (Ex):* The Cirrate Kraken does 8d6+10 with a successful Grapple check.

*Blindness (Ex):* The Cirrate Kraken is blind despite having eyes, and relies on it's Blindsight to "see".  It is immune to gaze attacks, visual effects, illusions, and other attack forms that rely on sight. 

*Psi-Like Abilities (Ps):* The Kraken may manifest the following powers as Psi Like abilities once per day: Chameleon, False Sensory Input, Insanity, Psychotic Break (Complete Psionic).  Manifester Level is 13.

*Skills:* Kraken have a +8 Racial Bonus on all Swim checks, and may always Take 10 on a Swim check.  

*Combat:* While the webbing between their tentacles discourages grappling multiple foes, one on one fights are deadly as it can bring all it's mucous lined tentacles to bear against one opponent.  Cirrates tend to hide, and ambush opponents one by one.



*Cirrate Kraken*

"Bob!  Jolly good to see you again old fellow!"

"My goodness Harlan, what are you doing this far down?  Don't you know how scary the Superdeep is?  There are things down here!"

"What sort of things?"

"Titans, Dead Gawds, that sort of thing.  Spooky stuff, even for me."

*The Rarest of Krakens*

"I'm looking for that ghost you mentioned Bob.

"He pops in and out of the Ethereal, usually out in the open sea.  Good luck finding it, even I've only 'seen' it a few times."


*Psychic Krakens...As If The Regular Ones Weren't Bad Enough*

"Sigh...we're still doing this aren't we?"

"Indeed."

"Good luck Haarlan! Pop back in for tea before you leave."

"Tea?"

"Old Bob has quite the sense of humor."

----------


## Bhu

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O5hEmZCuX0Y

*Ghost Kraken*
                      Gargantuan Magical Beast (Aquatic)
*Hit Dice:*             20d10+180 (290 hp)
*Initiative:*           +5
*Speed:*                Swim 20 ft. (4 squares)
*Armor Class:*          21 (-4 Size, +1 Dex, +14 Deflection), touch 21, flat-footed 20
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +20/+42
*Attack:*               Tentacle +26 melee (1d6+10)
*Full Attack:*          10 Tentacles +26 melee (1d6+10) and 1 Bite +21 melee (3d6+5)
*Space/Reach:*          20 ft./15 ft. (60 ft. with Tentacles)
*Special Attacks:*      Improved Grab, Constrict (1d6+10)
*Special Qualities:*    Dark Vision 120 ft., Low Light Vision, Spell-Like Abilities, Ethereal Jaunt
*Saves:*                Fort +21, Ref +15, Will +13
*Abilities:*            Str 30, Dex 12, Con 28, Int 20, Wis 20, Cha 24
*Skills:*               Concentration +22, Hide +4, Intimidate +20, Knowledge (Geography, Nature, Arcane) +17, Listen +19, Search +17, Sense Motive +17, Spot +20, Survival +17, Swim +29, Use Magic Device +20
*Feats:*              Alertness, Blind-fight, Combat Expertise, Improved Combat Expertise, Improved Initiative, Iron Will, Lightning Reflexes
*Environment:*          Any Aquatic
*Organization:*         Solitary (possibly unique)
*Challenge Rating:*     13
*Treasure:*             Triple Standard
*Alignment:*            Neutral Evil
*Advancement:*          21-32 HD (Gargantuan), 33-60 HD (Colossal)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_"We find new things in the sea all the time.  Considering some of them, it might be preferable if we simply left it alone..."_

The Ghost Kraken is a nearly legendary Kraken that seems to shift between the Material and Ethereal Planes.  Few people have ever seen it, or perhaps simply few living people have seen it.  It's unknown if it's a single mutated individual, or a new species.  

*Improved Grab (Ex):* If the Ghost Kraken hits with a Tentacle attack it may perform a Grapple check as a Free Action without provoking an attack of opportunity.  If it is successful it may Constrict.

*Constrict (Ex):* A Ghost Kraken does 1d6+10 damage with a successful Grapple check.

*Spell-Like Abilities (Sp):* A Ghost Kraken may cast Blackwater Tentacle, Dark Tide, Evard's Black Tentacles, and Pressure Sphere 1/day.  Caster Level is 9th, Save DC's are Charisma Based.  See Stormwrack for spells.

*Ethereal Jaunt (Su):* A Ghost Kraken can shift from the Ethereal Plane to the Material as a Free Action, and move back again as a Move Action (or during a Move Action). The ability is otherwise identical to the spell of the same name (Caster Level is equal to Hit Dice).

*Skills:* Kraken have a +8 Racial Bonus on all Swim checks, and may always Take 10 on a Swim check.  

*Combat:* Ghost Krakens tend to phase into the Material Plane, unleash a spell or two to wreak havoc, and then shift back.  Or they'll shift in and out making tentacle attacks.  An opponent can make sunder attempts against a krakens tentacles as if they were weapons. A krakens tentacles have 10 hit points. If a kraken is currently grappling a target with one tentacle, it usually uses another limb to make its attack of opportunity against the sunder attempt. Severing a krakens tentacle deals damage to the kraken equal to 5 hit points. A kraken usually withdraws from combat if it loses three of it's tentacles. A kraken regrows severed limbs in 1d10+10 days. 



*Ghost Kraken*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom, Jim and I are coming to you live from the Dark Sea!"

*Okay, NOW It's The Rarest Of Krakens*
"We're now transmitting footage of the legendary Ghost Kraken, live on palantir!."

"What's that in front of it Jim?"

*Even Scares The Dead*

"It would appear a swarm of ghosts followed it over from the Ethereal."

"Look at them go!

*Several Hours Later*

"Harlan, I want a vacation."

"But Jim, we're doing so well right now!"

"Harlan, most of our cryptid segments have been frauds, caster creations, or world altering eldritch horrors.  I need a break."

"Well...the Gnomish Military is hosting their annual review for arms and armor dealers.  We could go shopping for backup's to the cube of force."

"That'll work."

----------


## Metastachydium

> *The Black Eye* 
> Gargantuan Aberration
> *Hit Dice:*  36d8+288 (450 hp)
> *Initiative:*  +3


It has Superior Initiative. That should be +7.




> *Baleful Flash (Su):*  As a free action


Well, I _sure_ hope that was supposed to be a free action _once per round_.




> *GAK, SPAAAAAAAAAAAAACE CHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICKEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNN*


Oh, YESSSSS! Here. We. Go!




> *Skills:*               Climb +57, Intimidate +51, Jump +57, Knowledge (Geography, Wildspace*) +36, Listen +46, Search +36, Spot +46, Survival +46, Swim +57, Use Magic Device +26


I count 49 more skill points spent than available.




> *Ultimate Bawk (Su)*: Gak unleashes a horrifyingly loud bawk that can be heard over an area of roughly 50 miles.  It may do this once per day.  The Ultimate Bawk does 35d6 Sonic damage in an area of 50 ft.  For every 5 ft. past the initial 50 ft. area damage drops by 1d6, and for every 10 ft. past the Save DC lowers by 5. Opponents in this area can make a DC 57 Reflex Save (Save DC is Charisma based) for half damage.  Opponents who fail the Save are also permanently deafened.


I think a Fort save would work better here.




> The being known as Gak! Spaaaace Chiiiiiiickkkeeeeeeeeeeeennn (insert echo effect here), is an odd being traveling through space visiting planets looking for something.  At least it appears to be that way.  He (everyone calls Gak a him) always makes scratching and nosing about as if looking for something his first priority after he falls from the sky.  Gak appears as a vaguely chickenlike entity with leathery grey hide as opposed to feathers, stubby wings that shouldn't support it's body weight, deely bobber antennae, and an odd crest that runs from the top of it's head down it's back.  It also has huge glowing eyes, and screams and babbles almost nonstop, causing instant hatred in all who encounter it as they pray for it to just shut up.  While Gak appears to be speaking a language, no one has yet deciphered what it is (although no one has used magical means of communicating yet either).


Let me tell you, I'm _so_ loving everything about this big bird, crunch and fluff alike!




> *Titan Budgie* (aka the Dire Dire Pigeon)


And this is where I get sad.




> they're () cute.  The audience is a sucker for cute


Harlan knows your audience well! These _are_ incredibly cute.




> *Challenge Rating:*     19


But they are Lacking, in several other respects. They have, well, pretty much _nothing_ other than a DR that would have been relevant 24 HD ago. I mean, low-light vision and that Trample are really not much anything at this range. Everything that's wrong about the Tarrasque and makes it a joke for its CR is wrong with these guys as well and they don't even get a _fraction_ of the Tarrasque's defenses for their trouble. Heck, they aren't even strong for their size! If we peel off those STR bonuses _[Shudders.]_ This isn't CR 19. These guys would struggle at the roc's CR _9_. I'm sad. Really, really sad.

♣
I'll look at the krakens later.

----------


## Bhu

I was basing CR off some of the Behemoth Animals, but I take your point.  I'll revise them a bit.

----------


## Metastachydium

So, krakens:




> *Kraken, Ammonoid*
>                      Gargantuan Magical Beast (Aquatic)
> *Hit Dice:*             20d8+220 (310 hp)


Magical Beast; 20d10+220 (330 hp).




> *Spell Like Abilities (Sp):* 1/day: Control Winds


Control CurrentsStorm would perhaps be a better fit?




> *Cirrate Kraken*
> 
> ()
> 
> *Attack:*               Engulf


That's one hell of a confusing name. I kept looking for the Engulf SA in the SA line and text before I realized it's just a name for what it does and it doesn't actually Engulf.




> *Special Qualities:*    Blindness, 360 ft. Blindsight
> 
> ()
> 
> *Blindness (Ex):* The Cirrate Kraken is blind despite having eyes, and relies on it's Blindsense to "see".  It is immune to gaze attacks, visual effects, illusions, and other attack forms that rely on sight.


Is it Blindsense or Blindsight? Either way, it would bear listing separately.




> *Ghost Kraken*
>                       Gargantuan Magical Beast (Aquatic)
> *Hit Dice:*             20d8+180 (290 hp)


20d_10_; hp's correct, though.




> *Skills:*               Concentration +22, Hide +2, Intimidate +20, Knowledge (Geography, Nature, Arcane) +17, Listen +19, Search +17, Sense Motive +17, Spot +20, Survival +17, Swim +29, Use Magic Device +20


Unless I'm mistaken, it still has two skill points available for spending.




> I was basing CR off some of the Behemoth Animals, but I take your point.  I'll revise them a bit.


Thanks. Behemoths are not the best point of reference here, given that they are _Outsiders_ with SA/SQs.

----------


## Bhu

> Thanks. Behemoths are not the best point of reference here, given that they are _Outsiders_ with SA/SQs.


In my defense I'd forgotten the type change because I didn't have the errata.  I've made changes give them a look now.

----------


## Metastachydium

> In my defense I'd forgotten the type change because I didn't have the errata.  I've made changes give them a look now.


GO BIRDY! DESTROY ALL IN YOUR PATH! Which is to say, much better, thanks, although make sure you update HD/hp. That should be 36d_10_+360 (5_58_ hp) now.

----------


## Bhu

*Armored Turtle*
Small Construct
*Hit Dice:* 4d10+10 (32 hp)
*Initiative:* -1
*Speed:* 10 ft. (2 squares)
*Armor Class:* 18 (+1 Size, +8 Natural, -1 Dex), touch 10, flat-footed 18
*Base Attack:* +3/ +0
*Attack:* Bite + 5 melee (1d3+1) or Lesser Orb of Fire +3 Ranged Touch (1d8)
*Full Attack:* Bite +5 melee (1d3+1) or Lesser Orb of Fire +3 Ranged Touch (1d8)
*Space/Reach:* 5 ft./ 5 ft.
*Special Attacks:* Lesser Orb of Fire
*Special Qualities:* Construct Traits, Damage Reduction 5/Adamantine, Dark Vision 60 ft., low-light Vision
*Saves:* Fort +1, Ref +0, Will +1
*Abilities:* Str 12, Dex 8, Con --, Int --, Wis 11, Cha 1
*Skills:* ---
*Feats:* ---
*Environments:* Any
*Organization:* Solitary, Gang (2-4), or Battalion (10-40)
*Challenge Rating:* 3
*Treasure:* None
*Alignment:* Neutral
*Advancement:* 5-8 HD (Medium), 9-12 HD (large)
*Level Adjustment:* ---

_"Before you is a clockwork turtle roughly 3 feet in diameter with a turret of some sort in its shell.  Obviously it must be a Gnome creation, only they would be so gauche..."_

Armored Turtles were created by the Gnomish nations to meet a need for armored fire platforms, as most of their own people were unwilling to fill that role. They became immensely popular, and many variations were made, some quite large. Armored Turtle battalions were snuck into enemy territory and allowed to lay waste to it with their fire before being mothballed until the next time they were needed.  Most of them are the size of a particularly fat halfling, and weigh about 200 pounds or more.  They appear as clockwork turtles of varying appearance with a wand mounted on their back.

*Lesser Orb of Fire (Sp):* Once every other round the Turtle may 'cast' Lesser Orb of Fire from the turret in its back. Caster level is equal to the Turtles Hit Dice. Some Turtles have one of the other Lesser Orb spells, but these are uncommon (it's always been said Tinker Gnomes were closet firebugs). Medium or larger Armored Turtles are usually upgraded to the Orb of Fire spell. 

*Combat:* Armored Turtle are pretty straight forward. They simply hold position and fire away with their Lesser Orb of Fire. If anyone gets close they bite.  Usually though, their masters try to ensure the battleground is highly flammable, making crossing to the turtles difficult.

*Construction:* An Armored Turtle is made from 235 pounds of steel treated with rare alchemical compounds costing at least 500 GP.  Assembling the Body requires a DC 20 Craft (clockworks) check.  

CL 11th; Craft Construct (see MM page 303), Animate Object, Geas/Quest, Lesser Orb of Fire, Caster must be 11th Level.  Price 6000 GP; Cost 3000 GP + 120 XP



*Armored Turtle*
"Hurray, hurray hurray, step right up!  SEE the newest and greatest in military gear!  SEE the new year model Golems!  SEE the six million gold piece hamster!"

"Harlan Jergens and Jim Bauer here on official business.  We're press."

*Slow Moving Fire Support*

"I can't believe the office is paying for this.  Sucks that it's a working vacation though."

"Is that a clockwork turtle?"

"Apparently there have been Autognome updates?"


*Like, Literaally Fire Support*
"Greetings gentlemen, I see you've noticed our M1 Support Turtle!"

"Is that a wand in it's back?."

"Indeed it is sir, set to fire Chromatic Orb on command."

"What damage type?"

"Er...fire."

"So they spam the battlefield with fire?  That seems...counter intuitive..."

"There's other settings, fire is just the default."

"Why?"

"We like fire."

----------


## Bhu

*Electric Yak*
Large Construct
*Hit Dice:* 12d10+30 (96 hp)
*Initiative:* +0
*Speed:* 40 ft. (8 squares)
*Armor Class:* 18 (-1 Size, +9 Natural), touch 9, flat-footed 18
*Base Attack:* +9/ +20
*Attack:* Gore + 15 melee (1d10+11)
*Full Attack:* Gore +15 melee (1d10+11)
*Space/Reach:* 10 ft./ 5 ft.
*Special Attacks:* Electrified Charge
*Special Qualities:* Construct Traits, Damage Reduction 10/ Adamantine, Darkvision 60 ft., Lowlight vision
*Saves:* Fort +4, Ref +4, Will +4
*Abilities:* Str 25, Dex 10, Con--, Int --, Wis 11, Cha 1
*Skills:* ---
*Feats:* ---
*Environment:* Any
*Organization:* Solitary, Gang (2-4), Battalion (6-30)
*Challenge Rating:* 8
*Treasure:* None
*Alignment:* Neutral
*Advancement:* 13-30 HD (large), 31-42 HD (huge)
*Level Adjustment:* ---

_"Is that a robot Yak? Effin' Gnomes.  The boss really doesn't pay us enough for this."_

Yet another clockwork experiment by the Gnomish Nations, the Electric Yak is considered by some to be increasing proof of their insanity. The Yaks are usually used as cavalry, breaking through opposing forces. It looks much like a clockwork Yak made from high grade steel, with horns that are all sparkly from electricity.  

*Electrified Charge (Su):* When an Electric Yak charges it does 3d6+11 damage, plus an additional 2d6 electrical damage.

*Combat:* Electric Yaks generally Charge, and then repeatedly gore until their opponent falls or they do. They are unimaginative as fighters, but remain dangerous because of their massed numbers.

*Construction:* An Electric Yak is made from 2000 pounds of steel treated with rare alchemical compounds costing at least 5000 GP. Assembling the Body requires a DC 20 Craft (clockworks) check.

CL 11th; Craft Construct (see MM page 303), Animate Object, Geas/Quest, Lightning Bolt, Caster must be 11th Level. Price 60000 GP; Cost 30000 GP + 1200 XP



*Electric Yak*
"Eeeeelectric Yak!
The power you see the energy comin' up, coming on strong!
The future only belongs to the future itself!
And the future is Eeeeelectric Yak!"

"Truly the worst theme song I've heard in recent memory...."

*Used For Breaking Through The Front Lines*

"What is that humming sound?"

"Is that an electric turbine?"

"Indeed it is good sir!  It runs the bad guy zapping horns!"

"Did he just talk to you like you were a child?"


*Ironically Safer Than Real Yaks*
"I talk to everyone like they were a child sir!  I have a speech impediment!"

"That's not a speech impediment, that's being an (beep)."

"We're all (beeps) here sir."

"Truly the worst salesman I have ever seen..."

----------


## Bhu

*Whale Golem*
Gargantuan Construct
*Hit Dice:* 50d10+60 (335 hp)
*Initiative:* -1
*Speed:* Swim 40 ft. (8 squares)
*Armor Class:* 37 (-4 Size, -1 Dex, +32 Natural), touch 5, Flat-footed 37
*Base Attack/ Grapple:* +37/ +61
*Attack:* Tail Slap + 45 melee (6d10+18)
*Full Attack:* Tail Slap +45 melee (6d10+18)
*Space/Reach:* 20 ft./ 15 ft.
*Special Attacks:* Ram, Sonar Blast
*Special Qualities:* Construct Traits, Damage Reduction 15/ Adamantine, Dark Vision 60 ft. Immunity to Magic, Low-light Vision, Blindsight 120 ft. Cargo
*Saves:* Fort +16, Ref +15, Will +16
*Abilities:* Str 35, Dex 8, Con --, Int--, Wis 11, Cha 1
*Skills:* ----
*Feats:* ---
*Environment:* Any aquatic
*Challenge Rating:* 25
*Organization:* Solitary
*Alignment:* Neutral
*Advancement:* ---
*Level Adjustment:* ---

_"A huge clockwork whale bursts from the water and swims into the bay. You can hear gnomish laughter. They've been drinking again..."_

The Whale Golem was developed by the Gnomish Nations as a way to explore the seas, not, we repeat not, as a drunken bet as has been widely reported.  Why the Gnomes are interested in exploring the oceans is unknown, but since they have a wide range of odd behaviors manifesting in their society no one really questions it.  After all there are Gnomes who collect Dragon poop.  Bizarre Golems should come as no surprise.  Most people believe they made it just to prove they could.


*Ram (Ex):* Whenever the Whale Golem does a charge it does 8d10+24 damage. If it uses this against a boat it has a 95% chance of capsizing the boat if it is 30 ft. long or less. Boats 31+ feet long have only a 50% chance.

*Sonar Blast (Su):* Once every 1d4 rounds the Whale Golem can focus it's sonar to unleash a devastating attack in a 120 ft. cone. It loses it's blindsight ability on any turn the Blast is used. Damage is 30d8 sonic and anyone in the cones area of effect must make a DC 39 Fortitude Save or be permanently deafened. They may also make a DC 39 Reflex Save for half damage.  Save DC is 10 plus 1/2 hit dice plus a +4 Racial Bonus.

*Cargo:* The Whale Golem can hold up to 16 small creatures (or 8 Medium) in its cargo hold, and contains enough air for 24 hours before it needs to resurface. Optionally it can hold cargo equal to its heavy encumbrance value.

*Immunity to Magic (Ex):* A Whale Golem is immune to any spell or spell like ability that allows spell resistance.

*Combat:* On it's own the Whale Golem will blast any threat with it's Sonar before ramming it and then bludgeoning whatever is left repeatedly. If there are Gnome riders they can give it orders of course.

Construction: A Whale Golem is made from 30 tons of steel treated with rare alchemical compounds costing at least 50000 GP. Assembling the Body requires a DC 25 Craft (clockworks) check.

CL 30th; Craft Construct (see MM page 303), Craft Epic Arms and Armor, Animate Object, Geas/Quest, Cacophonic Burst, Caster must be 30th Level. Price 1000000 GP; Cost 500000 GP + 10000 XP



*Whale Golem*
"Greetings sirs!  May I present the new and improved Whale Golem mark 5!"

"It looks more like a clockwork submersible."

*Expensive, But Great For Undersea Adventures*

"It is, but Golems sell better than clockwork automatons.  The public is fickle."

"Aren't we the public?"

"Indeed."

"No sir, you're the press.  I have a great many customers among your kind.  You're practically a military unto yourself."

"Are we Harlan?"

"I am legally obligated not to answer."

*Dark Secret*

"What powers it?"

"We follow whaling ships, and call up the dead souls of the whales to pilot the clockworks."

"Holy (beep)..."

"There's no (beep) here sir."

"We're getting off track here... we need specs."

"We need to run screaming in the opposite direction Harlan."

----------


## Bhu

*Gunpowder Golem*
Medium Construct
*Hit Dice:* 12d10 +20 (75 hp)
*Initiative:* +0
*Speed:* 40 ft. (8 squares)
*Armor Class:* 15 (+5 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 15
*Base Attack/ Grapple:* +9/ +11
*Attack:* Slam +10 melee (1d6+2)
*Full Attack:* 2 Slams +10 melee (1d6+2)
*Space/ Reach:* 5 ft./ 5 ft.
*Special Attacks:* Berserk, Engulf
*Special Qualities:* Construct traits, Damage Reduction 10/Magic, Darkvision 60 ft., Immunity to Magic, low-light vision, Explosive
*Saves:* Fort +4, Ref +4, Will +4
*Abilities:* Str 15, Dex 11, Con --, Int --, Wis 11, Cha 1
*Skills:* ---
*Feats:* ---
*Environment:* Any
*Organization:* Solitary or Gang ( 2-4) or battle group (10 40)
*Challenge Rating:* 8
*Treasure:* None
*Alignment:* Neutral
*Advancement:* 13-24 HD (medium), 25-36 (large)
*Level Adjustment:* ---


_"A shifting humanoid pile of dark powder shambles toward you. You think it might be a dust or ash golem until it slaps Sergeant Bertrand in the face and subsequently explodes. Here's hoping the rest of the front line doesn't share the sarge's smoking habit."_

A Gunpowder Golem is made from gunpowder (or something similar) as it's name implies. It was of course invented by the Gnomes, who like inventing things almost as much as they like seeing them explode. It's also the reason Gnomes are banned in some polite societies.  Strangely the Panda Folk also make these golems, and they're known for being an ultra polite society.  But then who would suspect cute, innocent pandas of being mad bombers?

*Berserk (Ex):* When a Gunpowder Golem enters combat there is a cumulative 1% chance per round it goes berserk and attacks the nearest living (or moving) creature near it until none are left. Once a Gunpowder Golem goes berserk there is no known method of re establishing control.  Once it has been berserk for 12 rounds, it explodes.

*Engulf (Ex):* A Gunpowder Golem can attempt to smother an opponent by engulfing it in combat. If it succeeds with a grapple check against an opponent it engulfs it.  Instead of regular grapple damage the victim begins to suffocate (see page 304 of the DMG), unless of course the opponent does not require air.  Either way, it also blinds the opponent as long as it maintains the Grapple.

*Immunity to Magic(Ex):* The Gunpowder Golem is immune to any spell or spell like ability that allows spell resistance. The one exception is anything doing fire or electricity damage (see below).

*Explosive (Ex):* If the Gunpowder Golem takes fire or electricity damage, it must make a Fortitude Save (Save DC equals the damage taken) or it explodes. Damage and the area of effect are based on Size and Hit Dice. Opponents in the area get a DC 20 Reflex Save for half damage unless they are being grappled by the Gunpowder Golem. Save DC is Constitution based with a Racial Bonus based on Size: Medium +4, Large +6.  Damage is 1d6  for every Hit Dice the Golem has (i.e. 12d6 for the basic model). Area of Effect depends on the Golems size: Medium is 40 ft. radius, Large is 80 ft. The explosions area of effect is covered by a thick cloud of smoke for 1d6 minutes afterwards (strong winds will dissipate this in 1d6 rounds instead). Entering the smoke has the same effect as breathing heavy smoke (see page 304 of the DMG). Needless to say this explosion also kills the Golem.  If the Golem is destroyed in another manner, it's 'lifeless' body is still explosive, and fire or electrical damage will still detonate it.

*Combat:* Gunpowder Golems realize their explosive nature.  They will avoid opponents with fire until they can get close enough to grapple, or do serious damage if fire is used against them.  If opponents have no obvious fire they charge in and go straight to the Engulf attack.  They generally hit the ground running straight towards targets if they are within range.  Gnome mages often teleport them into the midst of foes before hitting them with a Fireball.

*Construction:* A Gunpowder Golem is made from 200 pounds of gunpowder treated with rare alchemical compounds costing at least 1000 GP. Assembling the Body requires a DC 20 Craft (alchemy) check.

CL 11th; Craft Construct (see MM page 303), Animate Object, Geas/Quest, Fireball, Caster must be 11th Level (+3 CL for every HD over 12). Price 30000 GP; Cost 16000 GP + 640 XP




*Gunpowder Golem*
"Who wants to see something scary!"

"Regular scary, or Gnome scary?"

*More Dangerous Than It's Worth*

"Rude.."

"Accurate."

"Ha!"

"Tough crowd...would you like to see a demonstration of the Gunpowder Golem sir?"

"The WHAT??"

"Sweet!"

*BOOM!*

"Harlan...bad..."

"We cannot recommend a Golem more for breaking enemy fortifications!"

"Its still a bomb."

"There's no smoking here sir."

"Maybe some of us like to live dangerously."

"Harlan!"

----------


## Bhu

*Marble Golem*
Large Construct (Fine Construct as a Swarm)
*Hit Dice:* 11d10+30 (90 hp)
*Initiative:* +1
*Speed:* 30 ft. (6 squares)
*Armor Class:* 18 (-1 Size, +1 Dex, + 8 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 17)
*Armor Class as a Swarm* 20 (+8 Size, +1 Dex, +1 Natural), touch 19, flat-footed 19)
*Base Attack/ Grapple:* +8/ +16
*Attack:* Slam + 11 melee (1d8+4)
*Full Attack:* 2 Slams +11 melee (1d8+4)
*Space/Reach:* 10 ft./ 10 ft.
*Special Attacks:* Berserk, Marbles, Distraction
*Special Qualities:* Construct Traits, Damage Reduction 15/Bludgeoning, Darkvision 60 ft., Immunity to Magic, Low-light Vision, Scattering Death  (also Distraction, Immune to Weapon damage, and Swarm traits in Swarm form)
*Saves:* + 3, Ref +4, Will +3
*Abilities:* Str 18, Dex 12, Con --, Int  Will 11, Cha 1
*Skills:* ---
*Feats:* ---
*Environment:* Any
*Organization:* Solitary or Gang (2-4)
*Challenge Rating:* 8
*Treasure:* None
*Alignment:* Neutral
*Advancement:* 12-18 HD (Large)
*Level Adjustment:* ---


_"Sweet Jebus I hate Gnomes..."_

Marble Golems are humanoid figures composed of thousands of glass balls formerly used as children's toys.

*Berserk (Ex):* When a Marble Golem enters combat there is a cumulative 1% chance per round it goes berserk and attacks the nearest living (or moving) creature near it until none are left. Once a Marble Golem goes berserk there is no known method of re-establishing control.

*Marbles (Ex):* Once per round as a Swift action a Marble Golem can scatter and become a Swarm of living, moving marbles. It covers a 20 ft. area, and anything entering the area is subject to a free trip attack that does not provoke an attack of opportunity. If the trip attack is successful, the opponent takes 1d6 damage. The golem itself is considered a swarm of thousands of Fine sized constructs, and has appropriate swarm traits in this form (i.e. Distraction, Immune to Weapon Damage, etc) with 2 exceptions: It doesn't get the usual Swarm attack, just the special trip attacks. And it doesn't suffer the penalties from wind based attacks swarms of Fine sized creatures usually do.  It may reform again as a Swift Action as well.

*Distraction (Ex):* Any living creature that begins its turn with a swarm in its space must succeed on a DC 15 Fortitude save or be nauseated for 1 round. The save DC is Constitution-based.  The Marble Golem may only use this attack after it has used it's Marbles ability to temporarily become a Swarm.

*Immunity to Magic(Ex):* The Marble Golem is immune to any spell or spell like ability that allows spell resistance, with the exception of Shatter.

*Scattering Death (Ex):* Upon being killed a marble golem covers a 20 ft. area with marbles. Anything entering or leaving this area must make a DC 15 Balance check or fall prone taking 1d6 subdual damage.

*Combat:* Gnomes usually have Marble Golems act as spoilers, using their Marbles attack to throw the enemy into disarray.

*Construction:* A Marble Golem is made from 500 pounds of glass marbles treated with rare alchemical compounds costing at least 500 GP. Assembling the Body requires a DC 20 Craft (glassblowing) check.

CL 11th; Craft Construct (see MM page 303), Animate Object, Geas/Quest, Caster must be 11th Level. Price 32000 GP; Cost 16000 GP + 640 XP



*Marble Golem*
"Greetings sirs!  May I present the new Marble Golem!"

"The military must be running low on ideas..."

*Not A Children's Toy, And We Shouldn't Have To Say That*

"You wound me sir."

"What's it for?"

"Guarding children sir."

"A guardian for children...refresh my memory Harlan, don't Golems occasionally go berserk?"

"Indeed they do."

*I Can't Believe This Got Past Marketing*

"What's to prevent on of these things from punting a child?"

"Why, our new spirit binding technology sir!"

"So they don't go berserk?"

"Not that you can prove..."

"We're journalists you know."

"Get out."

----------


## Bhu

*Bell Golem*
Large Construct
*Hit Dice:* 12d10+30 (96 hp)
*Initiative:* -1
*Speed:* 20 ft. (4 squares)
*Armor Class:* 22 (-1 Size, -1 Dex, +14 natural), touch 8, flat-footed 22
*Base Attack/ Grapple:* +9/+20
*Attack:* Slam +15 melee (2d10+7+1d10 Sonic)
*Full Attack:* 2 Slams +15 melee (2d10+7+1d10 Sonic)
*Space/Reach:* 10 ft./ 10 ft.
*Special Attacks:* Berserk, Bell-like Fists, Bong
*Special Qualities:* Construct Traits, Damage Reduction 10/ Adamantine, Darkvision 60 ft., Immunity to Magic, Low-light Vision
*Saves:* Fort +4, Ref +3, Will +4
*Abilities:* Str 25, Dex 8, Con --, Int --, Wis 11, Cha 1
*Skills:* ---
*Feats:* ---
*Environment:* Any
*Organization:* Solitary, or Gang (2-4)
*Challenge Rating:* 10
*Treasure:* None
*Alignment:* Neutral
*Advancement:* 13-18 HD (large), 19 33 HD (huge)
*Level Adjustment:* ---

_"An' ah swear, standin' in front of the church is a frickin' Golem whose body looks ter be a huge bell. The local clergy is either putting on airs, or one a' them's made a drunken bet again..."_

Originally conceived by a group of clerics known for their spectacular displays of public drunkenness, these are primarily the guardians of churches and the like.  They appear to be a large, metal, bell shaped humanoid with bell like fists.

*Bell-Like Fists (Su):* The Bell Golem's hands are replaced with large metal bells that bong loudly when striking a victim doing +1d10 Sonic Damage.

*Berserk (Ex):* When a Bell Golem enters combat there is a cumulative 1% chance per round it goes berserk and attacks the nearest living (or moving) creature near it until none are left. Once a Bell Golem goes berserk there is no known method of re-establishing control.

*Bong (Su):* The Bell Golem's somewhat hollow body is a large bell itself, and it bongs loudly when struck, especially by blunt weapons. When hit by a weapon everyone within a 20 ft. radius takes Sonic damage equal to half the damage done by the weapon hit (full damage if it was a blunt weapon).

*Immune to Magic (Ex):* Bell Golems are immune to any spell or spell like ability that allows Spell Resistance. However, spells doing Sonic Damage cause it to Bong, doing half the spells damage to everyone else within 20 ft.

*Combat:* Bell Golems tend to wade in and start smacking away. They don't really have any sense of tactics other than to go for opponents with blunt weapons first.

*Construction:* A Bell Golem is made from 600 pounds of brass and other metals treated with rare alchemical compounds costing at least 2000 GP. Assembling the Body requires a DC 20 Craft (alchemy) check.

CL 11th; Craft Construct (see MM page 303), Animate Object, Geas/Quest, Shout, Caster must be 11th Level. Price 50000 GP; Cost 25000 GP + 1000 XP



*Bell Golem*
"Good...evening?"

"It is for some us."

*Not Many Golems Can Be Attributed To Alcohol, And That's A Shame*

"Scuse' me...HWARF!"

"There's something you don't see at a military arms convention every day."

"Ah...how can I ... help you?"

"What in the 9 Hells is that thing?"

"Oh that's the Church Golem."

*Church Of Bubnoff Approved!*

"Your church approves of day drinking?"

"We're all about the day drinking."

"So what's the deal with the Golem?"

"We made it out of some old church bells."

"So stealth isn't an option.  Not that that's an option with most Golems anyway."

"Please stop speaking...it makes my head hurt."

----------


## Bhu

*Putty Panda*
Large Construct
*Hit Dice:* 10d10+30 (85 hp)
*Initiative:* -1
*Speed:* 20 ft. (4 squares)
*Armor Class:* 22 (-1 Size, -1 Dex, +14 natural), touch 8, flat-footed 22
*Base Attack/ Grapple:* +7/ +26
*Attack:* Slam + 13 melee (1d10+7)
*Full Attack:* 2 slams +13 melee (1d10+7)
*Space/ Reach:* 10 ft./10 ft.
*Special Attacks:* Berserk, Adhesion, Smother, Improved Grab
*Special Qualities:* Construct Traits, Damage Reduction 10/ Bludgeoning and Adamantine, Darkvision 60 ft., Immunity to Magic, Low-light
Vision, Immune to Magic
*Saves:* Fort +3, Ref +2, Will +3
*Abilities:* Str 25, Dex 8, Con --, Int --, Will 11, Cha 1
*Skills:* ---
*Feats:* ---
*Environment:* Any
*Organization:* Solitary or Gang (2-4)
*Challenge Rating:* 10
*Treasure:* None
*Alignment:* Neutral
*Advancement:* 11-18 HD (large)
*Level Adjustment:* ---


_"Y'know...even from here I just know that thing is trouble..."_

One of the few Golems known whose design is obviously deranged, and that ISN'T a creation of the Gnome Kingdoms, the Putty Pandas are the guardians, and sometimes foot soldiers, of the Pandafolk.  It appears to be a large anthropomorphic Panda made from abpout 600 pounds of some sort of sticky putty. 

*Berserk (Ex):* When a Putty Panda enters combat there is a cumulative 1% chance per round it goes berserk and attacks the nearest living (or moving) creature near it until none are left. Once a Putty Panda goes berserk there is no known method of re establishing control.

*Adhesion (Ex):* Putty Pandas are incredibly sticky. Anyone striking them with a weapon must make a DC 15 Reflex Save (Save DC is Con based) or their weapon is stuck to the Putty Panda. They will have to succeed in a Grapple check to pull it free. Putty Pandas receive a +8 Racial Bonus to Grapple checks.

*Improved Grab (Ex):* A Putty Panda that successfully hits with a Slam attack can immediately make a Grapple check as a Free Action without provoking an attack of opportunity. If it succeeds it can use it's Smother attack on any opponent 1 Size Class smaller than itself. Due to it's adhesive nature the Putty Panda can grapple a creature of any size class.

*Smother (Ex):* Any living creature that requires air and that is Pinned successfully in a Grapple by a Putty Panda begins to suffocate (see DMG page 304).

*Immune to Magic (Ex):* Putty Pandas are immune to any spell or spell like ability that allows Spell Resistance.

*Combat:* Putty Pandas usually just charge and grapple. They aren't really bright or subtle.  And of course they're made for grappling, so they may as well take advantage of it.


*Construction:* A Putty Panda is made from 600 pounds of silly putty treated with rare alchemical compounds costing at least 1000 GP. Assembling the Body requires a DC 20 Craft (alchemy) check.

CL 11th; Craft Construct (see MM page 303), Animate Object, Geas/Quest, Web, Caster must be 11th Level. Price 50000 GP; Cost 25000 GP + 1000 XP



*Putty Panda*
"Welcome to Panda Po's Putty Emporium!"

"I didn't know the government was letting in outsiders this year."

*A Sticky Situation*

"Diversity in military arms is a good thing."

"True enough.  What's that made out of?"

"Our patented extra secret sticky putty."

"So it sticks to things?"

"No sir, things stick to it."

*Wildly Popular As Guards*

"That's splitting hairs a bit finely isn't it?"

"Only aggressive individuals stick to it sir."

"I can't help but notice it's stuck to the floor..."

"This is just a display model sir."

"So how do we arrange to see one in action?"

"PANDA POWERS ACTIVATE!"

"I had to ask...."

----------


## Bhu

*Booze Golem*
Large Construct
*Hit Dice:* 10d10+30 (85 hp)
*Initiative:* +3
*Speed:* 40 ft. (8 squares)
*Armor Class:* 17 (-1 Size, +3 Dex, +5 Natural), touch 12, flat-footed 14
*Base Attack/Grapple:*+7/+20
*Attack:* Slam +15 melee (1d8+9)
*Full Attack:* 2 Slams +15 melee (1d8+9)
*Space/Reach:* 10 ft./10 ft.
*Special Attacks:* Engulf, Berserk, Intoxication, Improved Grab
*Special Qualities:* Construct Traits, Immunity to Magic, Darkvision 60 ft., Low Light Vision, Damage Reduction 10/-, Fluid Body
*Saves:* Fort +3, Ref +6, Will +3
*Abilities:* Str 29, Dex 16, Con -, Int -, Wis 11, Cha 1
*Skills:*-
*Feats:* -
*Environment:* Any
*Organization:* Solitary
*Challenge Rating:*10
*Treasure:* None
*Alignment:* Always Neutral
*Advancement:* 11-15 HD (large), 16 30 HD (huge)
*Level Adjustment:*---

_"Dude...dude we SO have to fight this monster.."_

Long beloved by Gnomes, Dwarves, and Halflings (who all claim to have invented it), the Booze Golem is a tall, vaguely humanoid shape composed of some form of alcohol. They think of it as a way to have the Rum protect itself when the army is on the march. There is a secret code word which, when said, will make the Golem dissolve back into a pile of alcohol. This code word is chosen by it's creator at the time it is made, and only works for him.  

*Berserk (Ex):* When a Booze Golem enters combat there is a cumulative 1% chance per round it goes berserk and attacks the nearest living (or moving) creature near it until none are left. Once a Booze Golem goes berserk there is no known method of re establishing control.

*Improved Grab (Ex):* A Booze Golem that successfully hits with a Slam attack can immediately make a Grapple check as a Free Action without provoking an attack of opportunity. If it succeeds it can use it's Engulf attack on any opponent 1 Size Class smaller than itself.

*Engulf (Ex):* Any living creature that requires air and that is Pinned successfully in a Grapple by a Booze Golem begins to drown (see DMG page 304). If it escapes drowning it risks becoming intoxicated (see below).

*Intoxication (Ex):* Each round a living, corporeal opponent is Engulfed it must make a Fortitude Save. DC of the Saving Throw is 10 plus half hit dice plus Constitution modifier, plus a Racial Bonus based on the type of alcohol the Golem is composed of (Ale, Diluted Spirits, or Wine +1/Fortified Wine or Stout Ale +2/Most Spirits +3/Strong Spirits +4/Dangerous Spirits +5). The opponent gains a cumulative -2 to the Saving Throw roll per round engulfed. If he fails he takes 1d2 temporary Dex and Wisdom damage each time the Saving Throw is failed. If Wisdom is reduced to 0 the opponent passes out. If Dexterity is reduced to 0 the opponent is helpless, but just barely conscious. If both go to 0, the opponent must make a second Fortitude Save (same DC) to avoid alcohol poisoning. If he fails he takes 1 temporary point of Con damage every 10 minutes until death, or his stomach is purged. Neutralize or Delay Poison will stop or delay this, and creatures immune to poison are immune to Intoxication. Once the encounter is over the opponent regains 1 point of Wisdom and Dexterity each hour, providing it consumes no more alcohol. Constitution damage from alcohol poisoning heals 1 point per day as usual.

*Immunity to Magic (Ex):* A Booze Golem is immune to any spell or spell like ability that allows Spell Resistance. The exceptions are spells doing Fire damage. Fire spells cause it to explode if it fails a Fortitude Save (the explosion is similar to a Fireball spell cast by a 10th level caster). DC of Fort Save is equal to 10 plus 1 per die of damage the fire spell does.  This destroys the Golem.

*Fluid Body (Ex):* The Booze Golem can take a Full Round action to pass through any porous barrier (i.e. a fence or net, not a solid wall) without slowing movement. At rest it appears to be a puddle of alcohol.

*Combat*: Booze Golems go straight for the Grapple, and when one opponent is stone drunk (or dead) they move on to the next.

*Construction:* A Booze Golem is made from 72 gallons of alcohol costing at least 1000 GP. Assembling the Body requires a DC 20 Craft (alchemy) check.

CL 11th; Craft Construct (see MM page 303), Animate Object, Geas/Quest, Animate Water, Caster must be 11th Level. Price 50000 GP; Cost 25000 GP + 1000 XP



*Booze Golem*
"Welcome to the Church of Bubnoff!"

"Weren't we just at your table?"

*A Swiftly Growing Tradition Of 'Sploding Golems*

"Maybe.  I've been a little drunk on the Golems..."

"The Golems are made of alcohol?"

"Yup.  Now the rum can march with the soldiers and defend them."

"Is it still flammable?"

"Of course."

*Wildly Popular Among Soldiers*

"Isn't that a tad dangerous?"

"Only if you're near fire."

"It'll be on battlefields.  There's always fire."

"Just have them run away from it.  You gotta save the booze."

"I can't tell if this is genius or insanity."

"We're thinking of making them sentient this year."

"And insanity just won out..."

----------


## Bhu

*Poop Golem*
                      Large Construct
*Hit Dice:*             10d10+30 (85 hp)
*Initiative:*           -1
*Speed:*                20 ft. (4 squares)
*Armor Class:*          20 (-1 Size, -1 Dex, +12 Natural), touch 8, flat-footed 20
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +7/+18
*Attack:*               Slam +13 melee (2d6+7 plus Foulness)
*Full Attack:*          2 Slams +13 melee (2d6+7 plus Foulness)
*Space/Reach:*          10 ft./10 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Berserk, Unbegotten Foulness, Disturbing Presence, Improved Grab, Smother
*Special Qualities:*    Construct Traits, Damage Reduction 10/Adamantine, Darkvision 60 ft., low Light Vision, Immunity to Magic
*Saves:*                Fort +3, Ref +2, Will +3
*Abilities:*            Str 25, Dex 8, Con -, Int -, Wis 11, Cha 1
*Skills:*               --
*Feats:*                --
*Environment:*          Any
*Organization:*         Solitary or Latrine (3-6)
*Challenge Rating:*     10
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          11-20 HD (Large), 21-30 HD (Huge)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_ "We...are NOT...fighting that.  I don't care what the General threatened us with."_

The origin of the Poop Golem is largely unknown.  They have appeared in several Dwarf/Elven conflicts on both sides, and the origin was assumed to be with them.  The Dwarves claim the Elves are too lazy to do mundane matters such as dig latrines, so they animate their waste to wreak havoc on the Dwarven lines.  The Elves have countered this claim by stating that Elves do not, in fact, poop.  The Dwarven legions response was to refer to the Elves as "a bunch of filthy, lying bastards".  Despite claims by either side, the Golems seem to attack both sides at random, meaning there is likely a third race at work.  Probably Gnomes.  Can't trust them Gnomes.  No sir.

*Berserk (Ex):* Each round it is in combat there is a 1% chance the Golem goes berserk.  It will attack the nearest living creature, or smash smaller objects each round until nothing is left before moving on to continue the destruction.  There is no known method of reestablishing control once the Golem is Berserk.

*Improved Grab (Ex):* If the Golem succeeds with a Slam attack it may immediately make a Grapple Check as a Free Action without provoking an attack of opportunity.  It will then usually Pin it's victim, or Smother if it's small enough.

*Smother (Ex):* If the Golem successfully Grapples an opponent at least 2 Size Categories smaller than itself it may Smother them with a successful Grapple check.  Each round it maintains the Grapple  causes the victim to Suffocate (See DMG page 304).

*Unbegotten Foulness (Ex):* Poop Golems smell so bad that any living creature within 60 ft. must make a DC 20 Fortitude Save (Save DC is Con based with a +5 Racial Bonus) or be Nauseated as long as they remain within 60 ft. of the Golem and for 1d6 rounds thereafter.  A successful Save means the victim is only Sickened instead.  If the Golem successfully strikes or Grapples an opponent they will be required to make another Save each time, and it will stink for 1d6 days afterwards (during this time it automatically fails all Hide checks, cannot use Scent if it has the ability, and anything tracking it by Scent has a +8 Circumstance Bonus on the rolls) whether the Save is made or not. If the victim has Scent it will be Sickened until this effect wears off.  Opponents with Scent take a -4 Circumstance Penalty on Saves against this ability.

*Disturbing Presence (Ex):* Massive amounts of vermin roam over the golem and swarm the air around it.  Anyone within 10 ft of the Golem must make a DC 15 Willpower Save or be Nauseated for 1 round as they get bitten and crawled upon (Save DC is Con based).  Spellcasting or concentrating on spells requires a Concentration Check (DC 20 plus spells level), and using skills  requiring patience and concentration requires a DC 20 Concentration check.  In addition if the first Save is failed the victim must make a second DC 15 Willpower Save (Save DC is Charisma Based with a +5 Racial Bonus) or be Shaken for 2d6 rounds.  If either Save is successful the victim is immune to this Golems Disturbing Presence for 24 hours.

*Immunity To Magic (Ex):* Poop Golems are immune to any spell or spell like ability that allows Spell Resistance. The exceptions are spells doing Fire or Cold damage. Spells doing Cold slow the Golem down as the Slow spell for 4 rounds (no Save). Fire spells cause it to explode if it fails a Fortitude Save(the explosion is similar to a Fireball spell cast by a 10th level caster). DC of Fort Save is equal to 10 plus 1 per die of damage the fire spell does.  This destroys the Golem.

*Combat:* Poop Golems always go for the Grapple.  Always.  It's like they know you hate that option the most.

*Construction:* A Poop Golem is made from 600 pounds of feces treated with alchemical compounds costing at least 100 GP. Assembling the Body requires a DC 20 Craft (alchemy) check.

CL 11th; Craft Construct (see MM page 303), Animate Object, Geas/Quest, Contagion, Caster must be 11th Level. Price 50000 GP; Cost 25000 GP + 1000 XP




*Poop Golem*

"What is that _smell_?"

*Truly The Most Feared Of Golems*

"Welcome to the Outhouse!  We make very special Golems!"

"The Golems seem o be made of excrement..."

"Building material is common and nigh well infinite!"

"It's unsanitary though."

"Imagine how terrified the enemy will be!"

*Hated By Everyone*

"Does it come with a Cleric on contract?  You'll need one."

"Cleric on contract? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

----------


## Bhu

*Snow Golem*
Medium Construct
*Hit Dice:* 9d10+20 (69 hp)
*Initiative:* +1
*Speed:* 30 ft. (6 squares)
*Armor Class:* 19 (+1 Dex, +8 Natural), touch 11, flat-footed 
18
*Base Attack/Grapple:* +6/+8
*Attack:* Slam +8 melee (1d6+2 plus 1d6 cold)
*Full Attack:* 2 Slams +8 melee (1d6+2 plus 1d6 cold)
*Space/Reach:* 5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:* Berserk, Snowballs, Freezing Touch
*Special Qualities:* Dark Vision 60 ft., Construct traits. Immunity to Magic, Low Light Vision, Immune to Cold, Hide in Snow, Damage Reduction 10/Magic and Bludgeoning
*Saves:* Fort +3, Ref +4, Will +3
*Abilities:* Str 14, Dex 12, Con -, Int -, Wis 11, Cha 1
*Skills:* Hide +1 (+9 in snow)
*Feats:* -
*Environment:* Any Cold
*Organization:* Solitary or Group (2-4)
*Challenge Rating:* 7
*Treasure:* None
*Alignment:* Always Neutral
*Advancement:* 10-18 HD (Large), 19-27 HD (Huge)
*Level Adjustment:* ---

_"Burt...did that snowman just move?"_

Snow Golems are an unusual but cheap to make Golem in wintery areas.  All you need is plenty of snow, and they look like snowmen or snow sculptures for the most part so they can hide in plain sight as well.  Most Snow GOlems are made of roughly 150 pounds of snow.

*Berserk (Ex):* When a Snow Golem enters combat there is a cumulative 1% chance per round that it will go berserk.  Once it goes berserk it will attack the nearest creature, or smashing any object smaller than itself if none is available.  If the Golems creator is within 60 ft., it can try to regain control by making a DC 19 Charisma check.  After 1 minute of inactivity, the Golem's chances of going berserk reset to 0%.

*Snowballs (Su):* The Snow Golem may cast the spell Snowball Swarm (see Spell Compendium) 3 times per day as a Supernatural Ability.  Caster Level is equal to Hit Dice, casting ability is Wisdom.  

* Freezing Touch (Su):* The Snow Golem's Slam Attacks and successful Grapple checks do +1d6 Cold Damage.

*Immunity to Magic:* The Snow Golem is immune to any Spell or Spell Like Ability that allows Spell Resistance, with the exception of spells that do fire or cold damage.  Fire does double damage to a Snow Golem.  Cold spells that do damage actually add to the Golem's hit points instead.  Any hit points beyond the Golem's normal maximum are temporary hp lasting 10 minutes.

*Hide in Snow:* The Snow Golem has the Hide in Plain Sight and Camouflage abilities (see PHB page 48) while in snowy areas.

*Skills:* Snow Golem's have a +8 Racial Bonus to Hide checks in snow.

*Combat:* Snow Golem's tend to remain still, hiding in plain sight until opponents get close enough to fight.  If they are spotted before then they open up with the snowballs.


Create Snow Golem   
Transmutation
*Level:* Sor/Wiz 6
*Components:* V, S, F
*Casting Time:* 1 Full Round Action
*Range:* Close (25 ft. plus 5 ft./2 levels)
*Effect:* Animates 1 Snow Golem
*Duration:* 1 hour/level

This spell animates 1 Snow Golem for the duration of the spell.  When created you designate one "owner" who will control the Golem, and a code word which may disassemble it before the spell ends (speaking the word is a Swift Action).
Focus is 150 pounds of snow.  This Focus can only be used for 1 Golem at a time, for more Golems, you need more snow.





*Snow Golem*

"Welcome to Spiffy Spalls Snow Kingdom!  Our Golems are made from simple spells and snow.   Cheap and easy to make!"

"But how effective might Snow be?"

*Snowman Golems*

"They're excellent at blending in while in arctic conditions!"

"Yes, but are they effective?"

"And they can throw snow balls!"

"Snowballs.  A traditional military weapon.."

*Hated By Everyone*

"Do they still go berserk?"

"Of course sir!  We're strictly old school here at Spalls."

----------


## Bhu

Edible Golem
Medium Consruct
*Hit Dice:* 3d10+20 (36 hp)
*Initiative:* +0
*Speed:* 30 ft (6 squares)
*Armor Class:* 20 (+10 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 20
*Base Attack/Grapple:* +2/+8
*Attack:* Slam +4 melee (1d8+2)
*Full Attack:*  2 Slams +4 melee (1d8+2)
*Space/Reach:*  5ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*  Improved Grab, Constrict (2d8+4)
*Special Qualities:*  Construct Traits, Dark Vision 60 ft., Damage Reduction 10/Magic, Immunity to Magic, Low Light Vision, Mindless
*Saves:*  Fort +1, Ref +1, Will +1
*Abilities:*  Str 15, Dex 10, Con -, Int -, Wis 11, Cha 1
*Skills:*  -
*Feats:*  -
*Environment:* Any
*Organization:* Solitary or Group (3-6)
*Challenge Rating:* 3
*Treasure:* Standard
*Alignment:* Always Neutral
*Advancement:* 4-6 HD (Medium)
*Level Adjustment:* -----

_We wuz out foragin when we came up on this Halfling encampment.  Lil squatty bastards left their chuckwagon unguarded, and me an Chuck we thinks Well sirguess that foods ours now.  Then this thing made out of cabbage beats Chuck like a ragdoll, and some sort of cheese monkey choked me into unconsciousness.  Damn I hate them Halflings..._


Halflings are known for their prowess with cuisine, but not so much so for their abilities as a military force.  Particularly hard hit are the cooks and guards for the food stores.  Bigger races tend to run them over to get the Halflings prized vittles.  And consequently this makes the Halflings pretty ticked off.  

After several years of this, some enterprising Halfling Wizard made the first Edible Golem.  Edible Golems can be composed of any hard foodstuff (cheese, jerked and smoked meats, vegetables, mushrooms), and are basically a 6 foot high figure composed of the aforementioned edibles.  Created to guard the food stores, a code word chosen at creation (and given to the Golems owner) will immediately disassemble the Golem into its component parts.  As long as the food is part of the Golem it never spoils, and it can even move and defend itself thus freeing up guards for other purposes.  

This makes them ideal Golems as they can be eaten, are cheap to make, and dont go Berserk.  They are a staple of many armies now in tribute to the Halflings success with using them.


*Improved Grab (Ex):* If the Golem successfully hits with its Slam Attack it may immediately make a Grapple Check as a Free Action without provoking an Attack of Opportunity.  If successful it may then Constrict.  Edible Golems get a +4 Racial Bonus to Grapple checks.  Unlike normal this ability may be used on creatures the same size class as the Golem.

*Constrict (Ex):* An Edible Golem does 2d8+4 damage with a successful Grapple Check.

*Immunity to Magic (Ex):* An Edible Golem is immune to any spell or spell like ability that allows Spell Resistance, with one exception.  If Purify Food and Drink is cast on the Golem it heals 1d6 hit points of damage.  

*Combat:* Edible Golems arent very tactical combatants being mindless and all.  They generally just waltz up to whatever enemy is closest, initiate a Grapple, and squeeze till dead.  Rinse, repeat.  Its effective though.  Many is the opposing military man who has suffered the dismay of being beaten down by a cheese Golem.


*Construction:* An Edible Golem is made from 300 pounds of some sort of foodstuffs (average cost around 120 GP).  Unlike normal Golems, Edibles aren't constructed, they are temporarily animated by means of the right spell.


Create Edible Golem   
Transmutation
*Level:* Sor/Wiz 4, Food 4
*Components:* V, S, F
*Casting Time:* 1 Full Round Action
*Range:* Close (25 ft. plus 5 ft./2 levels)
*Effect:* Animates 1 Edible Golem
*Duration:* 1 hour/level

This spell animates 1 Edible Golem for the duration of the spell.  When created you designate one "owner" who will control the Golem, and a code word which may disassemble it before the spell ends (speaking the word is a Swift Action).
Focus is 300 pounds of some sort of food.  This Focus can only be used for 1 Golem at a time, for more Golems, you need more food.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
*Lore*
Characters with ranks in Knowledge (Arcane) can learn a little about the Edible Golem. When the character makes a skill check, the following lore is revealed, including the information from lower DCs:

DC|Lore
10|The Halflings sometimes have Constructs guarding their food.
15|The Constructs guarding the Halflings food stores ARE food.
20|The magic making Edible Golems is cheap, but fairly short in duration and must be renewed regularly.
25|If you can get the Golem's "owner" to spit out the right word, the Golems will disassemble into harmless victuals. 



*Plot Hook*
 The Edible Golems your base has been relying upon to guard the food (i.e. themselves for the most part) have somehow been awakened by an unknown enemy, and they no longer disassemble when the code word is given.  Somehow you must discover what is going on, keep the base in food in the meantime, and manage to imprison the Golems long enough to do the first two tasks. Every night someone near a local restaurant dies.  Every morning the restaurateur find blood on his cabbages.  He has told no one of this, and has hired the PC's to find out what is going on before the authorities do.  One night they notice a strange figure leave the restaurant with what looks like a very deformed man under a greatcoat and heavy clothing.  The deformed man does not speak or respond to anyone but his partner.  And he simply stinks of garlic and cabbage... Yesterday was the best day of your groups life.  You defeated bad guys, got a good haul, and had a blast with the local tavern wenches.  In the morning however you find out the tavern wenches who were sleeping downstairs are all beaten up, the food is gone, your money is stolen, and everyone who was there claims that cheese people robbed the place while you were all passed out drunk.  You're having a bit of a hard time accepting their explanation, but the place does seem Limburgery today... Local Halfling Wizard King Codpuncher (that doesn't sound megalomaniacal in any way...) has hired the PC's to test out his security.  In reality he's bored and wants to see someone beaten up by the various food based Golems running around his trapped underground mansion.  Darn sneaky them Halflings.





*Edible Golem*

"Welcome to Hell's Kitchen!"

"Is that a cabbage golem?"

*Ever Been Beaten By A Turnip?*

"Yes.  Our team uses spells to allow the food stores to defend themselves."

"Please tell me they don't go berserk."

"No but there is a statistically insignificant chance that they spontaneously achieve sentient awareness."

"Is that good or bad?"

*Random Sentience Achieved*

"As a general rule, spontaneous awareness is bad."

"Plus, they do know you consider them food..."

----------


## Bhu

*Fungal Golem*
                      Large Construct
*Hit Dice:*             9d10+30 (79 hp)
*Initiative:*           -1
*Speed:*                30 ft. (6 squares)
*Armor Class:*          18 (-1 Size, -1 Dex, +10 Natural), touch 8, flat-footed 18
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +6/+17
*Attack:*               Slam +12 melee (2d6+7)
*Full Attack:*          2 Slams +12 melee (2d6+7)
*Space/Reach:*          10 ft./10 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Spores
*Special Qualities:*    Low Light Vision, Dark Vision 60 ft., Construct traits, Plantlike, Immune to Magic, DR 10/Magic
*Saves:*                Fort +3, Ref +2, Will +3
*Abilities:*            Str 24, Dex 8, Con -, Int -, Wis 10, Cha 1
*Skills:* 
*Feats:*                -
*Environment:*          Any except Cold or Desert
*Organization:*         Solitary or Ring (5-12)
*Challenge Rating:*     7
*Treasure:*             Standard
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          10-13 HD (Large), 14-18 HD (Huge)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

"Bert...whut the Hell is that thing?"

"No idea.  I say we just shoot it dead from here.  It doesn't look like something I wanna touch."

Fungal Golems (also known as Toadstool Golems) are horrifying humanoid masses of fungus tissue surrounded by clouds of spores.  They look bad.  They smell bad.  They're disposition is not sunny.  And worse, they can reproduce forcibly by converting others.  For this reason they aren't commonly used as guards by many races.  That and the fact that enough fungus must be grown to assemble a Golem.

*Spores (Ex)*: A cloud of spores has the chance to affect anything in the Golems square, or any adjacent square.  Effectively the spores work like a disease.  Contact, DC 18 (Save DC is Con Based with a +4 Racial Bonus). Incubation Period 1 day, Damage is 1d6 Con.  Successive Saves will not end the disease.  Only a Remove Disease spell or potent anti-fungal drugs will cure the disease (drugs cost 10 GP assuming you can find someone who knows how to make them).  If the disease kills the victim, it rises the 1d4 days later as a Fungal Golem

*Plantlike (Ex)*: Fungal Golems also have all the traits of the Plant Type, and are considered Plants for the purposes of spells/effects.

*Immune to Magic (Ex)*: A Fungal Golem is immune to any Spell or Spell-Like Ability that allows Spell Resistance.  There are a few exceptions as follows: An Antiplant Shell still keeps them at bay.

*Combat*: Fungal Golems move into melee as soon as possible to expose victims to their spores.  They bash away a few rounds to infect them, and then flee to let the spores work unless they've been told otherwise.

Fungal Bloom   
Transmutation
*Level:* Dru 8, Sor/Wiz 8
*Components:* V, S, M
*Casting Time:* 1 Hour
*Range:* Close (25 ft. plus 5 ft./2 levels)
*Effect:* Creates 1 Fungal Bloom
*Duration:* 1 hour/level
This spell temporarily creates a 10 foot all by 10 foot across fungal bloom that sheds spores out to a 30 foot radius centered on itself.  Any living Humanoid creature of Small or Medium size entering this area must make a Fortitude Save (Save DC is equal to your spell DC) to avoid Disease.  Incubation Period 1 day, Damage is 1d6 Con.  Successive Saves will not end the disease.  Only a Remove Disease spell will cure the disease.  If the disease kills the victim, it rises the 1d4 days later as a Fungal Golem.



*Fungal Golem*

"Step on up, and see the future."

"What is that thing, and why is it in a sealed environment in a force bubble?"

*Nasty Business*

"The spores.  Spend too much time in their company, and you become one of them."

"So you made a doomsday weapon?"

"It has the potential,  SOP is to use the spell that creates them, and then Meteor Swarm the place from above when it's all over."

"Why wouldn't you just meteor swarm it to begin with?"

*It's The End Of The World As You Know It*

"Revenge."

"That was surprisingly accurate.  Have we met?"

"No, but I'm pretty sure I know the crazy Druid who was developing this stuff, and told him it was a bad idea."

----------


## Bhu

*Nerf Golem*
                      Medium Construct
*Hit Dice:*             2d10+20 (31 hp)
*Initiative:*           +2
*Speed:*                50 ft. (10 squares)
*Armor Class:*          12 (+2 Dex), touch 12, flat-footed 10
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +1/+2
*Attack:*               Nerf Fist +2 melee (1d4+1)
*Full Attack:*          2 Nerf Fists +2 melee (1d4+1)
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Nerf
*Special Qualities:*    Dark Vision 60 ft., Construct Traits, DR 15/Slashing or Piercing, Immunity to Magic
*Saves:*                Fort +0, Ref +2, Will +0
*Abilities:*            Str 12, Dex 15, Con -, Int -, Wis 10, Cha 3
*Skills:*               -
*Feats:*                -
*Environment:*          Any
*Organization:*         Solitary, Pair, or Group (3-6)
*Challenge Rating:*     2
*Treasure:*             Standard
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          3-4 HD (Medium)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_"Abner I've seen some damn silly things used as minions in mah time, but this..."_

Arkimedes was a passable alchemist.  Passable meaning not famous.  Of course alchemy alone won't guarantee fame, and Arkimedes wasn't the greatest of casters.  Toiling hard in his shop one night trying to create a new form of building material, he accidentally created Nerf.  A soft spongy material that had odd magical effects on people (and things).  

*Nerf (Su)*: Whenever the Nerf Golem successfully damages an opponent with it's Fist Attack, that opponent must make a DC 13 Willpower Save (Save DC is Constitution Based with a +2 Racial Bonus) or it takes a -2 penalty on all attack rolls, weapon damage rolls, saving throws, skill checks, and ability checks for 1 round. 

*Immunity to Magic*: The Nerf Golem is immune to any Spell or Spell-Like Ability that allows Spell Resistance.

*Combat*: Nerf Golems suck tactically, and usually just wade in swinging much like any other Golem.   Sometimes they do enjoy the use of special Nerf weapons though.

*Construction:* A Nerf Golem is made from 80 pounds of Nerf costing at least 40 GP.  Assembling the Body requires a DC 11 Craft (Alchemy) check.  

CL 11th; Craft Construct (see MM page 303), Animate Object, Geas/Quest, Doom, Caster must be 11th Level.  Price 2050 GP; Cost 1050 GP + 32 XP

*Nerf Weapon*
*Price*: +1 Bonus
*Property*: Weapon
*Caster Level*:
*Aura*:
*Activation*: ---

Nerf Weapons do non-lethal damage, and on a successful hit the target takes a -2 penalty on all attack rolls, weapon damage rolls, saving throws, skill checks, and ability checks for 1 round.  
_Prerequisites_: Craft Magic Arms and Armor, Doom
_Cost to Create_: Varies



*Nerf Golem*

"Thank you for shopping Hasbro.  How can I e of assistance?"

"Are those Golems, or toys sir?"

*Not Toys*

"They are not toys sir.  They're made of a new material our head alchemist created."

"But they look soft and spongy."

"They are sure, but their sponge has some unusual properties."

"They'd have to  be good to be worth it."

*Surprisingly Effective*

"What kind of properties?"

"Being attacked by weapons made from this material partially disables the target.  Other forces can then follow up."

"I'll take four."

----------


## Bhu

*Cyclopean DreadGuard*
Medium Construct
*Hit Dice:* 6d10+20 (53 hp)
*Initiative:* +0
*Speed:* 30 ft. (6 squares)
*Armor Class:* 18 (+8 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 18
*Base Attack/Grapple:* +4/+8
*Attack:* Claw +8 Melee (1d6+4)or Heavy Mace +8/+8 melee (1d8+4)
*Full Attack:* 2 Claws +8 Melee (1d6+4) or Heavy Mace +8/+8 melee (1d8+4)
*Space/Reach:* 5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:* Spell-Like Abilities, Superior Two Weapon Fighting
*Special Qualities:* Dark Vision 60 ft., Construct Traits, DR 10/Magic
*Saves:* Fort +2, Ref +2, Will +2
*Abilities:* Str 18, Dex 10, Con -, Int 6, Wis 11, Cha 6
*Skills:* Search +2, Spot +4
*Feats:* Adaptable Flanker, Combat Reflexes, Vexing Flanker (see PHBII)
*Environment:* Any city or urban
*Organization:* Solitary, Pair, or Group (3-6)
*Challenge Rating:* 6
*Treasure:* Standard
*Alignment:* Usually Lawful Neutral
*Advancement:* 7-12 HD (Medium)
*Level Adjustment:* ---

*"WELCOME TO DALLAS!"*

_"Uh...thanks. Do you know where I ..."_

*"YOU WILL LAY DOWN YOUR WEAPONS!"*

_I, uh.. I don't have any weapons..."_

*"OBEY!"*

_"Look we just need to know where the local bar is..."_

*"WOULD YOU LIKE A DELICIOUS TWINKIE?!"*

_"Abner, why did we come here?"_

*"TWINKIES! THE WORLD'S FAVORITE SNACK CAKE!"*

_"Abner, what the hell is a Twinkie?"_

*"OBEY!"*

Cyclopean DreadGuards were commissioned made by the city of Dallas as guards. Their regular humanoid guards kept getting killed. They appear as tall slender armored forms with a strange conical head with one eye. They can understand simple conversation, and have several preprogrammed responses which they quite unintentionally end up using in inappropriate ways. Potential victims should be aware they will attack quite swiftly if they do not get the response they want.

*Spell Like Abilities (Sp):* Cyclopean Dreadguards can cast the following spells 3/day as spell-like abilities: Feather Fall, Jump, Knock, See Invisibility and Tongues. They can use the following 1/day: Hold Person.  Save DC's are Wisdom based.

*Superior Two Weapon Fighting (Ex):* When fighting with paired Heavy Maces, the Cyclopean DreadGuard does not take a penalty on attack or damage rolls for attacking with two weapons. 

*Combat:* Cyclopean DreadGuards will cast Hold Person to immobilize opponents long enough to get help, surround them, and then begin beating the hell out of them with their maces (wealthier patrons will arm them with masterwork or enchanted Maces).

*Construction:* A Cyclopean Dreadguard is made from 500 pounds of steel treated with rare alchemical compounds costing at least 1000 GP.  Assembling the Body requires a DC 20 Craft (clockworks) check. 

CL 11th; Craft Construct (see MM page 303), Animate Object, Geas/Quest, Feather Fall, Hold Person, Jump, Knock, See Invisibility, Tongues. Caster must be 11th Level.  Price 19000 GP; Cost 10500 GP + 420 XP



*Cyclopean DreadGuard*

"Welcome to the Dallas Corporation table!"

*"LAY DOWN YOUR WEAPONS!*

"Does that have an inside voice?"

*Dallas City Guards*

"Down fluffy!  Sorry about that sir, the guards can be excitable."

"And we have o weapons.  You have to turn them in to enter the convention."

*"THE LITTLE ONE HAS A HIDDEN WAND!"*

"Is that true sir?"

"Even Harlan isn't that crazy."

*Incoherency Personified*

"And your guards can't see through clothing."

"AHA!  Arrest him fluffy!."

*"TWINKIE CONSUMPTION IS MANDATORY!"*

"NO! No advertising!  Arrest him!"

"Look, it's an empty wand, I brought it to be recharged."

*"INITIATING BURNT TERROR MODE!*

----------


## Bhu

*Winchester*

Winchester is an Acquired Template that can be applied to any Aberration, Animal, Dragon, Giant, Humanoid, Magical Beast, Monstrous Humanoid,  or Vermin.

_"Gentlemen.  We can rebuild him.  We have the technology."_

_"But do we have the money?"_

_"Screw money, this is gonna be awesome!"_


The life of a Tinker gnome is a hard thing.  People don't respect OR fear you, so you're perceived as a bit of a doormat,   You're also a bit lacking in Clerics sometimes, so casualties are high.  That's when Grimble Smokentrausers decided to research just plain out rebuilding injured Gnomes with mechanical bits to replace the broken squishy ones.  As usual, his idea got a bit out of hand.   Today, the half automatons he initially created (as well as their descendants) are known as Winchesters, after the family who used Grimbles services the most.  Eventually he began installing weapons in them, because, like the Gnomes, the Winchesters just seemed to piss a lot of people off.

*Size and Type:* Size is Unchanged, Type becomes Construct with the Living Construct Subtype.

*Hit Dice:* Unchanged.

*Speed:* Unchanged.

*Armor Class:* Natural Armor Bonus increases by +2.

*Attacks:* Loses any attacks that the base creature possesses that are head based, such as bites, horns, gore, headbutts, etc.  The Winchesters gun is generally implanted in it's head, so it foregoes using other head base attacks in order to preserve it.

*Damage:* Unchanged.

*Special Attacks:* Retains all Special Attacks of the base creature, plus gains one the following:

Model 870 (Ex): 870 series Winchesters have Strength as their highest physical stat.  The Model 870 has a ranged Shot attack it can use as a Standard Action 5/day. This attack takes the form of a 20 ft. Cone, does 2d8 damage, and threatens a Critical on a 20.  

Model 700 (Ex): 700 series Winchesters have Dexterity as their highest physical stat.  The Model 700 has a ranged Sniper attack it can use as a Standard Action 5/day with a range increment of 100 ft.  Damage is 2d10 on a successful hit, and it threatens a Critical on a 19-20.

Model ACR (Ex): ACR series Winchesters have Constitution as their highest physical stat.  The Model S has a ranged Spray attack it can use as a Standard Action 5/day with a range increment of 70 ft.  The Winchester targets a 10-foot-by-10-foot area and makes an attack roll; the targeted area has an effective AC of 10. If the attack succeeds, every creature within the affected area must make a Reflex save (DC is 10 plus half Hit Dice plus Dexterity Modifier) or take the attacks damage.  Optionally it may be targeted at a single creature, doing 4d8 damage if it hits.  Normally it does 2d8 damage and threatens a Critical on a 20.  

*Special Qualities*: Retains all Special Qualities of the base creature, plus gains the following:

Damage Reduction (Ex): Winchesters gain DR 3/-.  

Rifleman (Ex): If the Winchester is succeeds n making an attack roll by 5 or more with it's Special Attack, or successfully confirms a Critical hit, it adds an Ability Modifier to the damage (Str for Model 870, Dex for Model 700, Con for Model S).

*Saves:* Gains a +2 Racial Bonus on Fortitude Saves.

*Abilities:* +4 to whichever of the three physical Ability Scores is already the highest (i.e. Str, Dex, Con), +2 Wis, -2 Cha.

*Skills:* Unchanged.

*Feats:* Unchanged.

*Environment:* Any.

*Organization:* Usually Solitary.

*Challenge Rating:* +1

*Treasure:* Unchanged.

*Alignment:* Usually changes to Neutral.

*Advancement:* Unchanged.

*Level Adjustment:* +3


*Gnome ACR*
                      Small Construct (Living Construct)
*Hit Dice:*             1d8+4 (8 hp)
*Initiative:*           +0
*Speed:*                20 ft. (4 squares)
*Armor Class:*          18 (+1 Size, +2 Natural, +4 Chain Shirt, +1 Light Shield), touch 11, flat-footed 18
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +0/-4
*Attack:*               Longsword +1 melee (1d6/19-20) or light crossbow +2 ranged (1d6/19-20) or Spray +1 ranged (2d8)
*Full Attack:*          Longsword +1 melee (1d6/19-20) or light crossbow +2 ranged (1d6/19-20) or Spray +1 ranged (2d8)
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Model ACR
*Special Qualities:*    Gnome traits, Living Construct traits, DR 3/-, Rifleman
*Saves:*                Fort +6, Ref +0, Will -1
*Abilities:*            Str 11, Dex 11, Con 18, Int 10, Wis 9, Cha 8
*Skills:*               Hide +5, Listen +2, Spot +1
*Feats:*                Weapon Focus (Light Crossbow)
*Environment:*          Temperate Hills
*Organization:*         Solitary or Company (2-4)
*Challenge Rating:*     1
*Treasure:*             Standard
*Alignment:*            Usually Neutral
*Advancement:*          By Character Class
*Level Adjustment:*     +3







*Winchesters*

"Welcome to the Winchester company, where we make you a little less fragile every day."

"Are those Half-Golem's?"

*Bionic Gnomes*

"No sir.  We've merely replaced their permanently damaged limbs with superior clockworks."

"Is that a gun in their heads?"

"They need to defend themselves sir.  There are many who would like to reverse engineer our methods."

"Doesn't that mean they always have a gun pointed at whatever they're looking at?."

*No Noticeable Side Effects*

"That violates the rules of gun safety."

"We can assure you it's perfectly safe.  Our guns only discharge on mental command.""

"It may come as a surprise, but that probably doesn't make anyone comfortable."

----------


## Bhu

*The Six Million GP Space Hamster*
                      Large Construct (Living Construct)
*Hit Dice:*             12d10+72 (138 hp)
*Initiative:*           +8
*Speed:*                120 ft. (24 squares), Climb 60 ft., Swim 30 ft., Burrow 30 ft.
*Armor Class:*          25 (-1 Size, +4 Dex, +12 Natural), touch 13, flat-footed 21
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +9/+25
*Attack:*               Nibble +16 melee (2d6+12)
*Full Attack:*          Nibble +16 melee (2d6+12)
*Space/Reach:*          10 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Improved Grab, Swallow Whole, Throw Object, Bodyslam, Bionic Headbutt
*Special Qualities:*    Darkvision 120 ft., Low-Light Vision, Scent, Scent Trail, Fall Resistant, Immune to Disease, Bionic Leap, See Invisible, Electricity Absorption, Living Construct traits, DR 15/Adamantine, Immunity to Magic
*Saves:*                Fort +10, Ref +8, Will +9
*Abilities:*            Str 26, Dex 18, Con 22, Int 3, Wis 16, Cha 14
*Skills:*               Climb +16, Jump +16, Listen +12, Search +9, Spot +8, Swim +16
*Feats:*                Improved Bull Rush, Improved Initiative, Iron Will, Power Attack, Run, Awesome Blow (B), Improved Grapple (B)
*Environment:*          Any
*Organization:*         Unique
*Challenge Rating:*     11
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Neutral
*Advancement:*          7+ (Large)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

"You saved Mr. Nibbles!"

Mr. Nibbles was just your average garden variety Giant Space Hamster.  And then the Neogi invaded.  Thanks to Mr. Nibbles valiant efforts his family wasn't taken, but he paid a heavy price.  He was found barely clinging to life.  A shattered wreck.  The Neogi were testing a vile weapon that prevented healing magic from working.  It was then the Winchester company stepped in to save the fallen hero by replacing his organs and limbs with experiments of their own.  Now Mr. Nibbles is back, and he looks like your average garden variety hamster.  But woe unto he who challenges the war hero.  

*Improved Grab (Ex):* If a Giant Space Hamster successfully Nibbles an opponent at least 2 Size Categories smaller than itself, it can immediately attempt a Grapple as a Free Action without provoking an Attack of Opportunity.  If it succeeds it may Swallow it's opponent.  Hamsters are fond of stuffing things in their mouths as it is.  Optionally it may just store the offender in it's cheek pouch.  If it does this all that is required to escape is a Grapple Check.

*Swallow Whole (Ex):*   A Giant Space Hamster can try to swallow a grabbed opponent of up to two sizes smaller by making a successful grapple check. Once inside, the opponent takes 1d6+4 points of bludgeoning damage plus 4 points of acid damage per round from the Hamsters digestive juices. A swallowed creature can cut its way out using a light slashing or piercing weapon by dealing 24 points of damage to the Hamsters digestive tract (AC 16). Once the creature exits, muscular action closes the hole; another swallowed opponent must cut its own way out.

A Large Hamsters gullet can hold 2 Small, 8 Tiny, 32 Diminutive, or 128 Fine or smaller opponents. 

*Throw Object (Ex):* The Hamster can throw any object of 50-60 lbs.  This has a range increment of 60 feet.  This is a Strength based attack doing 2d6+8.

*Bodyslam (Ex):* If the Hamster succeeds in a Grapple Check it may throw it's victim up to 10 ft., knocking him prone and doing 2d6+8 damage plus Dazing him for 1 round (no Save). 30-49 pounds does 2d4+8.  29 pounds or smaller does 2d3+8.

*Bionic Headbutt (Ex):* As a Full Round Action the Hamster can make a single melee attack.  If it hits, the opponent takes 2d6+8 damage, and must make a DC 24 Fortitude Save (Save DC is Str based) or be Dazed 1 round.

*Scent Trail (Ex):* Hamsters have Scent glands in their bellies that leave a trail wherever they go, allowing them to retrace their steps.  Alas this gives a +4 Circumstance Bonus to Survival Checks meant to track them by scent.

*Fall Resistant (Ex):* When taking damage from a fall, Space Hamsters count the fall as being 30 feet shorter than it truly is.

*Bionic Leap (Ex):* The Hamsters Jump DC's do not increase due to lack of movement.  Jump distances are 5 times normal.

*See Invisible (Ex):*  The Hamster permanently has the benefits of the See Invisibility spell.

*Electricity Absorption (Ex):* The Hamster is immune to electricity damage.  If it is hit by an attack or effect doing electricity damage, it heals 1 point of damage for each 3 points of damage the attack would otherwise deal. If the amount of healing would cause the Hamster to exceed its full normal hit points, it gains any excess as temporary hit points.

*Immunity to Magic (Ex):* The Hamster is immune to any spell or spell-like ability that allows spell resistance.

*Skills:* The Hamster has a +8 Racial Bonus on Climb, Jump, Search and Swim Checks.  It may always Take 10 on a Climb, Jump or Swim Check. It can use the run action while swimming, provided it swims in a straight line.  It also has a +4 Racial Bonus on Listen Checks.

*Combat:* The Hamster prefers to use it's super scamper powers to avoid trouble, unless you mess with his family.  If cornered, however, it becomes a whirlwind of terror.  Headbutts and bodyslams for everyone.



*The Six Million GP Hamster*

"Step right up, and meet the hero of Reorx!"

"That's...a Giant Space Hamster..."

*Don't Mess With Mr. Nibbles*

"We rebuilt him sir.  We made  him faster.  Stronger.   More nibbly."

"So you made an advanced cyborg hamster?"

"We had to sir, the filthy Neogi slavers used a new weapon that left us with no other option.  And we couldn't let the little girl who loves him in the eye and tell her we couldn't save him."

"So what can he do?"

*Trade Secrets*

"I'm afraid I'm not at liberty to discuss that sir. "

"What are we here for then?"

"To pet the hero of Reorx, feed him a carrot, and tell him he's a good boy."

"So purely a photo op then?  I am disappointed."

----------


## Metastachydium

Well. You weren't kidding when you said there'll be incoming galore.




> *Armored Turtle*
> 
> ()
> 
> *Attack:* Bite + 5 melee (1d3+1) or Lesser Orb of Fire +2 Ranged Touch (1d8)
> *Full Attack:* Bite +5 melee (1d3+1) or Lesser Orb of Fire +2 Ranged Touch (1d8)


Ranged should be +_3_ (3 BAB +1 size +1 DEX) for _2_d8 fire (because CL 4).




> *Advancement:* 2-8 HD (Medium)


I suspect this was intended to be 58 HD




> *Electric Yak*
> 
> ()
> 
> *Attack:* Gore + 15 melee (1d10+11)
> *Full Attack:* Gore +15 melee (1d10+11)


Damage bonus rounds _up_?



> *Gunpowder Golem*
> 
> ()
> 
> *Advancement:* 4-8 HD (medium)


38.




> *Explosive (Ex):* If the Gunpowder Golem takes 1 point of fire or electricity damage it explodes. Damage and the area of effect are based on Size. Opponents in the area get a DC 13 Reflex Save for half damage unless they are being grappled by the Gunpowder Golem. Save DC is Constitution based with a Racial Bonus based on Size: Medium +2, Large +4, Huge +8.  Damage is 3d6 plus 3d6 for every 2 Hit Dice past the base 2 Hit Dice the Golem has. Area of Effect depends on the Golems size: Medium is 20 ft. radius, Large is 40 ft., Huge is 80 ft. The explosions area of effect is covered by a thick cloud of smoke for 1d6 minutes afterwards (strong winds will dissipate this in 1d6 rounds instead). Entering the smoke has the same effect as breathing heavy smoke (see page 304 of the DMG). Needless to say this explosion also kills the Golem.


Okay, this Doesn't really work. The thing costs 8000 gp and a single point of common as dirt energy damage kills it. The resulting explosion's also quite lackluster with a low DC and damage. And I honestly don't have the vaguest idea how this could be salvaged.




> *Putty Panda*


Cutest killer construct I've seen since topiary triceratopses!




> *Advancement:* 12-18 HD (large)


11's been skipped.




> *Booze Golem*


Ah, this one brings back memories! My own booze _elemental_ had a very similar set of abilities, albeit it had medicinal purposes, a malicious intellect and a more modest size.




> *Immunity to Magic (Ex):* A Booze Golem is immune to any spell or spell like ability that allows Spell Resistance. The exceptions are spells doing Fire or Cold damage. Spells doing Cold slow the Golem down as the Slow spell for 4 rounds (no Save).


Technically, spirits don't really freeze except at unspeakably low temperatures and




> Fire spells cause it to explode if it fails a Fortitude Save (the explosion is similar to a Fireball spell cast by a 10th level caster). DC of Fort Save is equal to 10 plus 1 per die of damage the fire spell does.


even normal wine burns slow and mostly just once gaseous. Anyhow, how does this explosion affect the golem? Does it just die?




> *Poop Golem*


G-R-O-S-S! (But masterfully so. Good job!)




> Fire spells cause it to explode if it fails a Fortitude Save(the explosion is similar to a Fireball spell cast by a 10th level caster). DC of Fort Save is equal to 10 plus 1 per die of damage the fire spell does.


As above: what happens to the golem?




> *Snow Golem*
> Medium Construct
> *Hit Dice:* 9d10+30 (79 hp)


9d10+20 (69 hp); it's Medium.




> Create Snow Golem   
> Transmutation
> *Level:* Sor/Wiz 6
> *Components:* V, S, F
> *Casting Time:* 1 Full Round Action
> *Range:* Close (25 ft. plus 5 ft./2 levels)
> *Effect:* Animates 1 *Edible Golem*
> *Duration:* 1 hour/level
> 
> ...


You shouldn't eat snow, it's not healthy.

♣
I'll probably look at the rest later.

----------


## Bhu

> Okay, this Doesn't really work. The thing costs 8000 gp and a single point of common as dirt energy damage kills it. The resulting explosion's also quite lackluster with a low DC and damage. And I honestly don't have the vaguest idea how this could be salvaged.


The thought was creators wanted it to die to cause the explosion, but Golems cost is largely based on HD, so to keep it as cheap as I did meant low HD.  Also if I used real gunpowder stats, a 500 pound golem would vaporize everything in an 80 foot area.  

No worries, I'm remaking it as we speak!

----------


## Metastachydium

> The thought was creators wanted it to die to cause the explosion, but Golems cost is largely based on HD, so to keep it as cheap as I did meant low HD.  Also if I used real gunpowder stats, a 500 pound golem would vaporize everything in an 80 foot area.


Wait, there _are_ actual gunpowder stats?

♣
Meanwhile,




> *Nerf Golem*
> 
> ()
> 
> *Construction:* A Nerf Golem is made from 80 pounds of Nerf costing at least 50 GP.  Assembling the Body requires a DC 11 Craft (Alchemy) check.


That would make 1 lb. of nerf cost 6 sp and 2_.5_ cp. A weird number if you ask me.




> *Cyclopean DreadGuard*
> 
> ()
> 
> *Attack:* Claw +8 Melee (1d6+4)or Heavy Mace +8/+8 melee (1d8+4)


It would need Dual Strike or somesuch to (S)TWF as a standard action.




> Perfect Two Weapon Fighting


Also, this is _Superior_ Two-Weapon Fighting (or Ambidexterity). PTWF is the epic feat that allows for 4+ off-hand attacks.




> *Gnome ACR*
> 
> ()
> 
> *Saves:*                Fort +8, Ref +0, Will -1


I don't think gnomes have good Fort by default. The _MM_ entry gets that for the level in Warrior.




> *The Six Million GP Space Hamster*
> 
> ()
> 
> *Base Attack/Grapple:*  +9/+21


Grapple should be +25 (+4 from Improved Grapple).




> *Throw Object (Ex):* The Hamster can throw any object of 50-60 lbs.


Can he throw smaller stuff?

----------


## Bhu

> Wait, there _are_ actual gunpowder stats?


  Not official D&D stats, I was looking for stuff on how effective an explosive gunpowder is and found a government report on 500, 1000 and 2000 pound lots.  Apparently 500 pounds has an 80 foot radius, and will bring buildings down.





> Also, this is _Superior_ Two-Weapon Fighting (or Ambidexterity). PTWF is the epic feat that allows for 4+ off-hand attacks.


 I changed the name to avoid confusion.





> Can he throw smaller stuff?


Yes, I have made edits. (still working on gg)

----------


## Bhu

Tentative remake of the 3.5 gunpowder golem is up.

----------


## Metastachydium

> Tentative remake of the 3.5 gunpowder golem is up.


Weaksauce it is not, I'll give you that! But 18d6 at CR 8 might be a bit on the wild side. With a 40' radius it's an über-Fireball at CL 9 _if the save is succesful_. How about 2d6 per 2 HD? 12d6, save for half at 40' is still good enough to offset the thing being single shot.

----------


## Bhu

> Weaksauce it is not, I'll give you that! But 18d6 at CR 8 might be a bit on the wild side. With a 40' radius it's an über-Fireball at CL 9 _if the save is succesful_. How about 2d6 per 2 HD? 12d6, save for half at 40' is still good enough to offset the thing being single shot.


works for me!

----------


## Bhu

*Golhoon*
                      Large Construct
*Hit Dice:*             18d10+30 (129 hp)
*Initiative:*           +0
*Speed:*                20 ft. (4 squares)
*Armor Class:*          24 (-1 Size, +15 Natural), touch 9, flat-footed 24
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +13/+25
*Attack:*               Claw +20 melee (2d8+8)
*Full Attack:*          2 Claws +20 melee (2d8+8) and 4 Tentacles +15 melee (1d10+4)
*Space/Reach:*          10 ft./10 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Berserk, Improved Grab, Extract, Disturbing Presence
*Special Qualities:*    Construct Traits, DR 10/Adamantine, Low-light Vision, Darkvision 60 ft., Immunity to Magic
*Saves:*                Fort +6, Ref +6, Will +6
*Abilities:*            Str 26, Dex 11, Con -, Int -, Wis 11, Cha 1
*Skills:*               ---
*Feats:*                ---
*Environment:*          Any
*Organization:*         Solitary or gang (2-4)
*Challenge Rating:*     13
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          19-36 HD (Large), 37-54 HD (Huge)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

Golhoon's are Flesh Golems created by Githzerai mages from Illithids.  They vaguely resemble a 10 foot tall, deformed Illithid.  They are accompanied by a telepathic murmuring that terrifies those able to 'hear' it.  Listeners cannot relax in it's area of influence, and rumor has it one can go mad if they listen to it long enough.  Illithid's are terrified of them.  They are virtually immune to psionic powers, and have no brain to extract.  They are even more disturbed by the Golhoon's aura than anything else.  If they know what it is, they aren't saying, and neither are the few Githzerai who can make them.  They are few, because their creators tend to kill themselves.

*Berserk (Ex):*  When a Golhoon enters combat, there is a cumulative 1% chance each round that its amalgamated spirit breaks free and the Golhoon goes berserk. The uncontrolled Golhoon goes on a rampage, attacking the nearest living creature or smashing some object smaller than itself if no creature is within reach, then moving on to spread more destruction. The Golhoons creator, if within 60 feet, can try to regain control by speaking firmly and persuasively to the golem, which requires a DC 19 Charisma check. It takes 1 minute of inactivity by the golem to reset the Golhoons berserk chance to 0%.

*Improved Grab (Ex):* To use this ability, a Golhoon must hit a Small, Medium, or Large creature with its tentacle attack. It can then attempt to start a grapple as a free action without provoking attacks of opportunity. If it wins the grapple check, it establishes a hold and attaches the tentacle to the opponent's head. A Golhoon can grab a Huge or larger creature only if it can somehow reach the foe's head. If a Golhoon begins its turn with at least one tentacle attached, it can try to attach its remaining tentacles with a single grapple check. The opponent can escape with a single successful grapple check or an Escape Artist check, but the Golhoon gets a +2 circumstance bonus on the check for every tentacle that was attached at the beginning of the opponent's turn.

*Extract (Ex):* A Golhoon that begins its turn with at least four tentacles attached and that makes a successful grapple check automatically extracts the opponent's brain, instantly killing that creature. This power is useless against constructs, elementals, oozes, plants, and undead. It is not instantly fatal to foes with multiple heads.

*Disturbing Presence (Su):* Any living or psionic creature within 100 feet can 'hear' the telepathic murmuring of the souls of the Illithids whose bodies make up the Golhoon.  Animals and Vermin will flee automatically on entering this area.  All other creatures  entering this area must make a DC 21 Willpower Save (Save DC is Wisdom based with a +2 Racial onus), rising to DC 23 if the target has telepathy or any Psionic Powers from the Telepathy Discipline.  If they fail the save, they are Shaken until they move out of range.

*Immunity to Magic (Ex):*  A Golhoon is immune to any spell or spell-like ability that allows spell resistance. In addition, certain spells and effects function differently against the creature, as noted below.

A magical attack that deals cold or fire damage slows a Golhoon (as the slow spell) for 2d6 rounds, with no saving throw.

A psionic attack that deals damage breaks any slow effect on the Golhoon and heals 1 point of damage for every 3 points of damage the attack would otherwise deal. If the amount of healing would cause the Golhoon to exceed its full normal hit points, it gains any excess as temporary hit points. For example, a Golhoon hit by an energy bolt heals 3 points of damage if the attack would have dealt 11 points of damage. A Golhoon gets no saving throw against psionic attacks that deal damage. 

*Combat:* Golhoon's aren't much more effective than regular Flesh Golems are, unless someone is there to direct them and pump them up with psionic power.



*Golhoon*

"Good evening Gentlemen!  Allow me to introduce myself!  Grenak's the name, Golems are my game!"

"What in the Nine Hells is that abomination?  And why does it make my teeth itch?"

*Anti-Illithid Golems...*

"It's my new model of anti-Illithid Golem sir!"

"Golems have no brains, they're anti-Illithid by default."

"Yes sir, but this particular Flesh Golem is made from Illithids!  Guaranteed to give them the creeps!."

"I can't see behind those layers of clothing, but your Gith aren't you?"

*Only the Githzerai...*

"However did you guess sir? "

"Why are my teeth still itching?"

"Only the Gith hate the Illithids enough to consider making one of these without thinking of the repercussions."

"I had Gnome backers..."

"He's right you know, we're a little crazy too...is that a Mindflayer?"

"DEATH TO GRENAK!"

*BAMF!*

----------


## Bhu

*Teal Hulk*
                      Small Aberration
*Hit Dice:*             3d8+3 (16 hp)
*Initiative:*           +2
*Speed:*                20 ft. (4 squares), Climb 20 ft., Burrow 20 ft.
*Armor Class:*          19 (+1 Small, +2 Dex, +6 natural), touch 13, flat-footed 17
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +2/-1
*Attack:*               Claw +5 melee (1d4+1)
*Full Attack:*          2 Claws +5 melee (1d4+1) and 1 Bite +0 melee (2d4)
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Charm Gaze
*Special Qualities:*    Dark Vision 30 ft., Tremorsense 40 ft.
*Saves:*                Fort +2, Ref +3, Will +3
*Abilities:*            Str 12, Dex 15, Con 12, Int 11, Wis 11, Cha 11
*Skills:*               Climb +11, Hide +8, Jump +3, Move Silently +4, Listen +3, Spot +2
*Feats:*                Blind-Fight, Weapon Finesse
*Environment:*          Underground
*Organization:*         Solitary, Cluster (3-6), or Hive (10-100)
*Challenge Rating:*     2
*Treasure:*             Half Standard
*Alignment:*            Usually Neutral Evil
*Advancement:*          4 HD (Small), 5-6 HD (Medium)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---


_"Bert...Bert there's this weird blue/green bug eating my boot...it's a really big bug Bert..."_

The city of Gandalf's Folly is known for many things, chief among them it's Wizard's college.  And the college's many, potentially devastating, competitions.  Wizards are prone to madness after all.  One of the worst is the Evil Minion competition.  All competitors take a common monster, and manipulate it into what they consider the perfect evil minion.  This most recent competition involved the Umber Hulk (you can already see where this is going bad).  Professor Nwakuche's entry is a bluish-green Hulk that's only a scant 2 feet 6 inches tall, and weighing in at 50 pounds at most.  It's Charming Gaze and stealth due to it's small size make it quite useful.  Unfortunately the Teal Hulk's rapid reproductive rate, and tendencies to swarm makes up for it's advantages.  They can eat other species out of existence.  Teal Hulks speak Terran.

*Charm Gaze:* Charm Monster as per the spell, 30 ft., Willpower DC 11 negates, Caster Level equal to Hit Dice, Save DC is Charisma Based.

*Skills:* Teal Hulks have a +8 Racial Bonus on Climb checks. They may use their Dex or Str modifier for Climb checks, whichever is better, and may always Take 10 on Climb checks, even if rushed or threatened.

*Combat:* Teal Hulks try to usually Charm opponents, and get them to help out the Hive before sending them on their way or using them to feed the young.  If the gaze attack doesn't work they swarm the outsider and begin biting his legs furiously.



*Teal Hulk*

"It's a good thing you always have that teleport on contingency.  I've no intent on getting involved in a Gome-Mindflayer war on my vacation.  Where are we anyway?"

"My old college campus.  It was the nearest place I could think of."

*You Will Obey Hulk*

"I can't help but notice you didn't say it was the safest place you could think of."

"I say, young Jergens is that you?  Are you here for the Evil Minion Competition?"

"Professor Nwakuche! Good to see you! What's this years theme?"

"The Evil what competition?"

"Umber Hulks.  This little charmer is my entry.  Don't look it too closely in the eye now."

"So what can he do?"

*Hulk Hungry!*

"He's a mesmerist.  And being smaller, he eats less. "

"Your Minions specialty is mind control...you don't see an issue here?"

"Who is this sidekick of yours?"

"This is Jim, my business partner.."

----------


## Bhu

*Sienna Hulk*
                      Large Aberration
*Hit Dice:*             8d8+24 (60 hp)
*Initiative:*           +2
*Speed:*                30 ft. (5 squares), Burrow 20 ft.
*Armor Class:*          19 (-1 Large, +2 Dex, +8 natural), touch 11, flat-footed 17
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +6/+16
*Attack:*               Claw +11 melee (1d8+6)
*Full Attack:*          2 Claws +11 melee (1d8+6) and 1 Bite +9 melee (2d8+3)
*Space/Reach:*          10 ft./10 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Despairing Gaze
*Special Qualities:*    Dark Vision 60 ft., Tremorsense 60 ft.
*Saves:*                Fort +5, Ref +4, Will +6
*Abilities:*            Str 22, Dex 15, Con 17, Int 9, Wis 11, Cha 15
*Skills:*               Climb +9, Jump +9, Listen +3, Spot +2
*Feats:*                Ability Focus (Gaze), Irresistible Gaze (see Savage Species), Multiattack
*Environment:*          Underground
*Organization:*         Solitary, or Cluster (3-6)
*Challenge Rating:*     7
*Treasure:*             Standard
*Alignment:*            Usually Lawful Evil
*Advancement:*          9-12 HD (Large), 13-24 HD (Huge)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---


_"Wow...that's the freakiest bug thing ah evah did see.  Hey Bert you 'spose he's friendly?  Bert? Uh oh..."_

Professor Butler had often taken a lot of bad jokes based on his name.  A lot.  As a result he often suffered from crushing depression.  Then he heard about the minion contest.  Soon all would feel his depression! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!  Sienna hulks are tall, thin yellow-brown Hulks standing roughly 12 feet tall but weighing only 500 pounds or so.  Not as intelligent as the Umber Hulk, but their gaze is a bit more powerful causing opponents to succumb to despair.  Unfortunately close proximity to his new minions caused Professor Butler to be eaten.  They speak Terran.

*Despairing Gaze:* Crushing Despair, 30 ft., Willpower Save DC 20 negates, Save DC is Charisma based.

*Combat:* Sienna Hulks fight pretty similarly to a regular Umber Hulk.  They do rely more on their gaze to soften up opponents though.



*Sienna Hulk*

"Sidekick?  You offend me sir.  Wat, what are those tall, hulk-like critters?"

"Ah, that would be Professor Butler's entries.  Scuttlebutt has it they ate him."

*Hulk Make Sad*

"Doesn't this campus have security?"

"Yes, but the new Hulks seem to cause soul-crippling depression.  We should probably leave before they notice us."

"So they've taken out the guards?"

"Among other things."

"Other things?"

*Hulk In Existential Crisis*

"There were a record number of entries this year. "

"Out of control already is it??"

"Indeed."

----------


## Bhu

*Magenta Hulk*
                      Large Aberration
*Hit Dice:*             10d8+50 (95 hp)
*Initiative:*           +0
*Speed:*                15 ft. (4 squares), Burrow 10 ft.
*Armor Class:*          20 (-1 Large, +11 natural), touch 9, flat-footed 20
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +7/+18
*Attack:*               Claw +13 melee (1d8+7)
*Full Attack:*          2 Claws +13 melee (1d8+7) and 1 Bite +11 melee (2d8+3)
*Space/Reach:*          10 ft./10 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Rebuking Gaze
*Special Qualities:*    Dark Vision 60 ft., Tremorsense 60 ft.
*Saves:*                Fort +7, Ref +3, Will +7
*Abilities:*            Str 25, Dex 11, Con 19, Int 9, Wis 11, Cha 15
*Skills:*               Listen +7, Spot +6
*Feats:*                Cumbrous Fortitude, Improved Toughness, Irresistible Gaze, Multiattack*
*Environment:*          Underground
*Organization:*         Solitary, or Cluster (3-6)
*Challenge Rating:*     8
*Treasure:*             Standard
*Alignment:*            Usually Neutral Evil
*Advancement:*          11-15 HD (Large), 16-30 HD (Huge)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

*Cumbrous Fortitude, Irresistible Gaze are from Savage Species.

_"Hahahahaha!!! Thats the fattest Hulk I've ever seen!  Oh crap...Oh crap, dude, I think we made him angry!"_

Professor Esther had long been teased about her weight.  After years it had gotten to the point where she decided to show people in the competition not only was big okay, it was better.  And to some extent she was right.  Her minions were a bit tougher than the usual Hulk.  But she didn't realize increased mass meant increased appetite.  Fortunately she wasn't around for the eating spree, but her students weren't so lucky.  Magenta hulks are a light purplish red.  While they stand no taller than a regular Hulk they weigh almost half again as much.  They speak Terran.

*Rebuking Gaze:* Greater Rebuke (see Spell Compendium), 30 ft., Willpower Save DC 19 negates, Save DC is Charisma based. (Greater Rebuke may be found in Spell Compendium)

*Combat:* magenta Hulks soften their opponents up with their Gaze and then move in.  They're pretty much like normal Hulks, but their hunger leads them to try to eat any downed victims, often taking at least one of them out of the combat if they kill an opponent.



*Magenta Hulk*

"Who is that running towards us?"

"That's Professor Esther.  She's a bit of a drama queen."

*Hulk Not Take Peoples Crap*

"You don't take the sight of a mage running as a bad sign?"

"Of course not, if things were truly bad she'd have teleported."

"Maybe she's out of spells?"

"That...would most definitely be a bad sign."

"They're eating the students!"

*Hulk Have Righteous Fury!*

"our entry getting a little frisky Esther? "

"Young Harlan, is that you?  Please tell me you have teleport prepped."

"Always."

*BAMF!*

----------


## Bhu

*Aquamarine Hulk*
                      Large Aberration (Aquatic)
*Hit Dice:*             8d8+32 (68 hp)
*Initiative:*           +2
*Speed:*                20 ft. (5 squares), Swim 20 ft.
*Armor Class:*          19 (-1 Large, +2 Dex, +8 natural), touch 11, flat-footed 17
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +6/+15
*Attack:*               Claw +10 melee (1d8+5)
*Full Attack:*          2 Claws +10 melee (1d8+5) and 1 Bite +5 melee (2d8+2)
*Space/Reach:*          10 ft./10 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Light Gaze
*Special Qualities:*    Dark Vision 60 ft., Blindsense 60 ft., Amphibious
*Saves:*                Fort +8, Ref +4, Will +6
*Abilities:*            Str 21, Dex 15, Con 19, Int 11, Wis 11, Cha 13
*Skills:*               Listen +7, Search +7, Spot +8, Swim +13
*Feats:*                Ability Focus (Gaze), Great Fortitude, Swim-By Attack*
*Environment:*          Warm or Temperate Aquatic
*Organization:*         Solitary, or Cluster (3-6)
*Challenge Rating:*     7
*Treasure:*             Standard
*Alignment:*            Usually Chaotic Evil
*Advancement:*          9-12 HD (Large), 13-24 HD (Huge)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

*Swim-By Attack may be found in Stormwrack.

_"Abner...ah just saw a huge bug eat the carp we pulled in...ah think we're dun fishin'"_

Professor Jingang's headquarters were underwater, making her somewhat upset over the choice of a very non water traveling race for the competition.  But she adapted.  Aquamarine Hulks are a pale blue water dwelling species of Hulk with fins and pulsing gills and what have you.  Normal Hulks get sick looking at them for some reason.  They just don't get along.  Aquamarine Hulk speak Aquan.

*Light Gaze:* Rainbow Pattern, 30 ft., Willpower Save DC 17 negates, Save DC is Charisma Based.

*Skills:* Aquamarine Hulks get a +8 Racial Bonus on all Swim Checks, and may always Take 10 on a Swim Check.  They may use the Run Action while swimming in a straight line.

*Combat:* Aquamarine Hulks prefer hit and run tactics to stand up fighting, especially since they usually are able to take more advantage of their environment than invading adventurers.



*Aquamarine Hulk*

"Where are we now?"

"Down y the lake,  Perhaps we'll get lucky and Professor Jingang will e home.."

*Hulk Swim!*

"Heads up, there are more Hulks, and they're...vomiting at the sight of each other?"

"The pale blue ones seem to e inspiring that."

"They're coming out of the lake, so they must e Jingang's entry.  I'm betting she didn't like the choice of the minion of the year, this has to be one of her 'subtle' protests."

"Creating a minion that makes other minions ill is bad form."

"But handy, in this instance!"

*Swimmy Swimmy Swim!*

"I'm off then.  Don't want my minion gettiing ill."

"Coward.  You always run when things get interesting."

----------


## Bhu

*Cerise Hulk*
                      Large Aberration 
*Hit Dice:*             8d8+32 (68 hp)
*Initiative:*           +5
*Speed:*                20 ft. (5 squares), Climb 20 ft.
*Armor Class:*          18 (-1 Large, +1 Dex, +8 natural), touch 10, flat-footed 17
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +6/+19
*Attack:*               Claw +10 melee (1d8+5)
*Full Attack:*          2 Claws +10 melee (1d8+5) and 1 Bite +10 melee (2d8+2)
*Space/Reach:*          10 ft./10 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Fear Gaze
*Special Qualities:*    Dark Vision 60 ft., Tremorsense 60 ft.
*Saves:*                Fort +8, Ref +3, Will +6
*Abilities:*            Str 21, Dex 13, Con 19, Int 11, Wis 11, Cha 15
*Skills:*               Climb +18, Jump +10, Listen +6, Spot +6
*Feats:*                Improved Initiative, Improved Multiattack, Multiattack
*Environment:*          Warm Forests
*Organization:*         Solitary, or Cluster (3-6)
*Challenge Rating:*     7
*Treasure:*             Standard
*Alignment:*            Usually Chaotic Evil
*Advancement:*          9-12 HD (Large), 13-24 HD (Huge)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---


_"Dude...dude do you smell cherries??"_

Professor Zvonko had always liked cherries, and his entry to the minion competition both smell and look like them.  He wanted minions perfect for keeping pests away from his cherry bushes.  They kept him away from them too.  The Cerise Hulks Fear gaze makes it perfect for this role. They otherwise seem like regular Hulks other than being bright red, and speak Terran.

*Fear Gaze (Su):* Fear, 30 ft., DC 16 Willpower Save negates, Save DC is Charisma based.

*Skills:* Cerise Hulks have a +8 Racial Bonus to Climb checks, and may always take 10 on a Climb check.

*Combat:* Cerise Hulks will usually blast opponent with their Gaze, and then attack if they don't run away



*Cerise Hulk*

"Who is that running this way?"

"Professor Zvonko.  He looks terrified."

*Hulk Intimidate!*

"Excuse us, sir?"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"Well thats the first time someone's ignored us today.."

"What did he make?"

"Guards.  He wanted to keep people away from his cherries."

*Hulk Red*

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"I'm betting they have a fear gaze."

----------


## Bhu

*Cerulean Hulk*
                      Medium Aberration 
*Hit Dice:*             4d8+8 (26 hp)
*Initiative:*           +6
*Speed:*                30 ft. (6 squares)
*Armor Class:*          17 (+2 Dex, +5 natural), touch 12, flat-footed 15
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +3/+5
*Attack:*               Claw +5 melee (1d6+2)
*Full Attack:*          2 Claws +5 melee (1d6+2) and 1 Bite +3 melee (2d6+1)
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Lightning Gaze
*Special Qualities:*    Dark Vision 60 ft., Tremorsense 60 ft.
*Saves:*                Fort +3, Ref +3, Will +4
*Abilities:*            Str 15, Dex 15, Con 15, Int 11, Wis 11, Cha 15
*Skills:*               Climb +5, Jump +5, Listen +4, Spot +4
*Feats:*               Improved Initiative, Multiattack 
*Environment:*          Cold Forests
*Organization:*         Solitary, or Cluster (3-6)
*Challenge Rating:*     3
*Treasure:*             Standard
*Alignment:*            Usually Chaotic Evil
*Advancement:*          5-8 HD (Medium), 9-12 HD (Large)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---


_"Hey Abner...member how maw allus told us not to pee on the electric fence...it goes for bugs too..."_

Professor Gorm didn't want some basic, gaze attacking Hulk for his entry.  Gaze attacks were for wimps.  He wanted to breed them out of his creation and make them tougher.  Real minions don't need range.  His plans backfired, and his minions now shoot ball lightning, probably as a result of his using massive amounts of electricity in his experiments making them.  Nor are they tougher than regular Hulks.  Fortunately, the electrical burns to his kidneys could be regenerated.  Cerulean Hulks speak Auran.

*Lightning Gaze (Sp):* The Cerulean Hulk may cast Lesser Orb of Electricity at will as a Spell-Like Ability.  Caster Level is equal to Hit Dice.

*Combat:* Cerulean Hulks just sit back and blast away with their electrical powers.  They're kinda lazy tactically for Hulks.



*Cerulean Hulk*

"How do you keep getting me into these things Harlan?"

"Why do you say that Jim?"

*KRACK!*

"Lightning bolts shooting from the sky and blowing out the windows of local buildings is normal?"

*Electric Hulk*

"Why Jim, you wound me."

"No, but I'm sure the locals will."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"That's Professor Gorm.  He's looked better."

"Any day Hulks are shooting ball lightning at you is a bad day."

"To hell with this, I'm out."

*Hulk Not Like Little Man*

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"You got any Abjuration handy?"

"Always."

----------


## Bhu

*Chartreuse Hulk*
                      Tiny Aberration (Swarm)
*Hit Dice:*             8d8+8 (44 hp)
*Initiative:*           +4
*Speed:*                20 ft. (4 squares), Climb 20 ft.
*Armor Class:*          18 (+2 Size, +4 Dex, +2 natural), touch 16, flat-footed 14
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +6/-
*Attack:*               Swarm (2d6)
*Full Attack:*          Swarm (2d6)
*Space/Reach:*          10 ft./0 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Distraction, Force Gaze
*Special Qualities:*    Dark Vision 60 ft., Tremorsense 60 ft., Swarm Traits, Half Damage from Slashing and Piercing
*Saves:*                Fort +5, Ref +8, Will +6
*Abilities:*            Str 5, Dex 18, Con 12, Int 6, Wis 11, Cha 5
*Skills:*               Climb +8, Hide +12, Listen +4, Spot +4
*Feats:*            Great Fortitude, Lightning Reflexes, Ability Focus (Distraction)
*Environment:*          Warm Marshes
*Organization:*         Solitary, or Cluster (3-6)
*Challenge Rating:*     4
*Treasure:*             Standard
*Alignment:*            Usually Chaotic Evil
*Advancement:*          -
*Level Adjustment:*     ---


_"Dude...Dude it's an army of teeny bug monsters.  That's hysterical.  Why are they looking at us and laughing?"_


Chartreuse Hulks are small Hulks a little bit bigger than a rat.  Created by Professor Mechelina for the contest for no better reason than she was required to enter a minion, and she was really really stoned on pipeweed.  Not having any real idea of what they were for, or what they did, she still went to introduce them the day of the contest only to find out they'd decided to nest in the college's solarium, and weren't leaving for anyone or anything.  Eventually forced to leave after a massive extermination campaign they are now firmly ensconced in a nearby marsh.  

*Distraction (Ex):*  Any living creature that begins its turn with a swarm in its space must succeed on a DC 17 Fortitude save or be nauseated for 1 round. The save DC is Constitution-based

*Force Gaze:* The Chartreuse Hulks Swarm Attacks do Force damage.

*Skills:* Chartreuse Hulks have a +8 Racial Bonus to Climb checks, and may always take 10 on a Climb check.

*Combat:* Chartreuse Hulks are more intelligent than most swarms, which makes them a little more dangerous than the average swarm.  But their tactics are still pretty limited to the traditional swarm attack.



*Chartreuse Hulk*

"That was more of a workout than I expected today."

"At least we got Gorm extinguished and to the infirmary."

*PHOOM!*

"What the heck was that?"

*Hulk Seize Territory*

"It looks like they're gassing the solarium!"

"Excuse me sir, what's going on?"

"The university hired us to perform an eviction."

"You don't look like law enforcement."

"We aren't.  We're pest control."


*Use The Force Hulk*

"Sweet Jeebus, look at the size of that swarm!"

"Harlan..."

*BAMF!*

----------


## Metastachydium

> *Golhoon*
> 
> ()
> 
> *Extract (Ex):* A Golhoon that begins its turn with at least four tentacles attached


But They only have four.

♣
And now on to the cute big aberrant beetle things!




> *Teal Hulk*
> 
> ()
> 
> *Skills:*               Climb +11, Hide +8, Jump +3, Move Silently +4, Listen +3, Spot +2


I'll assume Listen was supposed to be at +2.




> *Magenta Hulk*
> 
> ()
> 
> *Rebuking Gaze:* Greater Rebuke (see Spell Compendium), 30 ft., Willpower Save DC 18 negates, Save DC is Charisma based. (Greater Rebuke may be found in Spell Compendium)


DC 19 (+5 from HD, +2 CHA, +2 feat).




> *Cerise Hulk*
>                       Large Aberration 
> *Hit Dice:*             8d8+32 (68 hp)
> *Initiative:*           +5
> *Speed:*                20 ft. (5 squares), Climb 20 ft.
> *Armor Class:*          18 (-1 Large, +1 Dex, +8 natural), touch 10, flat-footed 16


FF 17.




> *Saves:*                Fort +8, Ref +3, Will +6


Fort +6.




> *Cerulean Hulk*
> 
> ()
> 
> *Lightning Gaze (Sp):* The Cerulean Hulk may cast Orb of Electricity at will as a Spell-Like Ability.  Caster Level is equal to Hit Dice.


4d6 no save, no SR electricity (plus maybe entangled) at-will? That's not how I'd define CR 3.




> *Chartreuse Hulk*
> 
> ()
> 
> *Saves:*                Fort +5, Ref +8, Will +6


Fort +4.




> *Force Gaze:* The Chartreuse Hulks Swarm Attacks do Force damage.


Is this one really a gaze attack?

----------


## Bhu

> I'll assume Listen was supposed to be at +2.


  They can use Dex for climbing so I had a point left over..





> 4d6 no save, no SR electricity (plus maybe entangled) at-will? That's not how I'd define CR 3.


  I has switched to Lesser Orb of Electricity.




> Fort +4.


  +2 for GF, +1 for Con, +2 for base.




> Is this one really a gaze attack?


  It would be of they were bigger, but since they're teensy and it doesn't have great range, I thought it would be appropriate to have their swarm attack do force damage as they light you up at close range.

----------


## Metastachydium

> They can use Dex for climbing so I had a point left over..
> 
> ()
> 
> +2 for GF, +1 for Con, +2 for base.


Oops. (Man, you'll never trust my math after this.)




> It would be of they were bigger, but since they're teensy and it doesn't have great range, I thought it would be appropriate to have their swarm attack do force damage as they light you up at close range.


Okay, now that's quite the mental image! I like it.

----------


## Bhu

*Fuchsia Hulk*
                      Colossal Aberration 
*Hit Dice:*             80d8+880 (1240 hp)
*Initiative:*           +4
*Speed:*                50 ft. (10 squares)
*Armor Class:*          42 (-8 Size, +40 natural), touch 2, flat-footed 42
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +60/+96
*Attack:*               Claw +73 melee (6d6+20/19-20) or Eyebeam +52 Ranged Touch (30d6)
*Full Attack:*          2 Claws +73 melee (6d6+20/19-20) and 1 Bite +73 melee (12d6+10/19-20) or or Eyebeam +52 Ranged Touch (30d6)
*Space/Reach:*          30 ft./30 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Eyebeam, Trample (4d12+30), Frightful Presence
*Special Qualities:*    Dark Vision 240 ft., Tremorsense 240 ft., Invulnerability 20, Fast Healing 25, SR 38
*Saves:*                Fort +43, Ref +26, Will +42
*Abilities:*            Str 50, Dex 11, Con 32, Int 5, Wis 11, Cha 30
*Skills:*               Climb +33, Intimidate +24, Listen +13, Search +12, Spot +15, Survival +13
*Feats:*                Awesome Blow, Cleave, Devastating Critical (Claws, Bite), Endurance, Epic Fortitude, Great Cleave, Great Fortitude, Improved Bull Rush, Improved Critical (Claw, Bite), Improved Initiative, Improved Multiattack, Improved Snatch, Large and in Charge, Multiattack, Multisnatch, Overwhelming Critical (Claws, Bite), Power Attack, Power Ciritcal (Claws, Bite), Rend, Snatch, Stamp, Weapon Focus (Claw, Bite)
*Environment:*          Any
*Organization:*         unique
*Challenge Rating:*     27
*Treasure:*             Standard
*Alignment:*            Chaotic Neutral
*Advancement:*          81+ HD (Collosal)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---


_"Abner...that purple hill over there ain't a hill...think we should be runnin' now..."_

Professor Baketaten had always thought bigger was better her whole life.  So it was inevitable when given a chance to create an evil minion she would go for a giant.  A purple giant.  A purple giant with a liiiittle teeeny brain.  The Fuschia Hulk is the only known example of it's kind, and the world should thank the Gawds for it.  He's not particularly bright, and seems to understand common, but has never spoken or made any real attempt at communication.  He was eventually turned loose in the wild because the professors realized he would be expensive to keep, but couldn't bring themselves to put the big lug down.  The Fuschia Hulk is a chubby purplish Hulk standing roughly 100 ft. tall.

*Eyebeam:* Once every 1d4 rounds the Fuschia Hulk may unleash an Eyebeam that is a ranged touch attack doing 30d6 fire damage.  Range is 500 ft.

*Trample:* DC 70 Reflex Save for half damage.

*Frightful Presence (Ex):* Whenever the Fuschia Hulk attacks or charges all living beings within 150 ft. must make a DC 60 Willpower Save (Save DC is Charisma Based), or be Frightened for 4d6 rounds if it has less Hit Dice (opponents with equal or greater Hit Dice are Shaken instead).  If the Save is successful the opponent is immune to the Fuschia Hulk's Frightful Presence for 24 hours.

*Invulnerability (Ex):* Invulnerability is similar to Damage Reduction, but it also blocks damage from energy attacks, spells, spell-like abilities, and supernatural abilities. For example the Hulk has Invulnerability 20. That means it negates the first 20 points of damage from any attack (this includes untyped damage).

*Combat:* The Fuschia Hulk rarely initiates combat, and seems lost in thought most of the time.  Or maybe he's just stupefied.  Either way most opponents get the first shot in assuming they're stupid enough to assault him.  After which they get blasted by his eyeray, and the stragglers get stepped on.



*Fuschia Hulk*

"How many more of those teleports you got left?"

"Not enough I suspect."

"Where the Hell are we?"

*Not A Statue*

"It looks like Professor Baketaten's lab, or what's left of it.  Speaking of here she is now!"

"Excuse me miss, what's happened?"

"An experiment went awry, as per usual.  Oh, hello Harlan, didn't see you there.  You visiting for the contest?"

"Fleeing it more like.  When did they put up the giant statue?"

"That's no statue, that's Fred.  He's the experiment gone awry."


*The Students Call Him Big Purple*

"That's an Umber Hulk?  What's he doing over there?"

"Nothing.  What he's usually doing."

*KRAKOW!!*

"Oopsie, he's noticed the commotion.

----------


## Bhu

*Lavender Hulk*
                      Large Aberration 
*Hit Dice:*             8d8+32 (68 hp)
*Initiative:*           +2
*Speed:*                20 ft. (4 squares), Fly 25 ft. (Clumsy)
*Armor Class:*          19 (-1 Large, +2 Dex, +8 natural), touch 11, flat-footed 17
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +6/+15
*Attack:*               Claw +10 melee (1d8+5)
*Full Attack:*          2 Claws +10 melee (1d8+5) and 1 Bite +8 melee (2d8+2)
*Space/Reach:*          10 ft./10 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Paralytic Gaze
*Special Qualities:*    Dark Vision 60 ft., Blindsight 60 ft.
*Saves:*                Fort +6, Ref +4, Will +6
*Abilities:*            Str 20, Dex 15, Con 18, Int 11, Wis 11, Cha 15
*Skills:*               Listen +11, Spot +11
*Feats:*                Flyby Attack, Hover, Multiattack
*Environment:*          Warm Plains
*Organization:*         Solitary, or Cluster (3-6)
*Challenge Rating:*     7
*Treasure:*             Standard
*Alignment:*            Usually Chaotic Evil
*Advancement:*          9-12 HD (Large), 13-24 HD (Huge)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---


_"Bert...is that a bee comin' towards us?"_

_"Gawd ah hope not Abner.  Truly that is the ugliest bee Ah evah did see..."_

Professor Huberta had always had a weird obsession with flying critters.  So it was obvious what her choice of mutation for her minion would be.  Unfortunately Hulks don't make great flyers.  Even when they've had bee wings added to their frames they give Cicada's a run for their money for clumsiest airborne species.  They came across as more amusing than horrifying.  Until they got mad of course, and started zapping people with their gaze.  Lavender Hulks are pinkish purple Hulks with wings.  They speak Terran.

*Paralyzing Gaze (Su):* Gaze, Hold Person, 30 ft., DC 16 Willpower Save negates, Save DC is Charisma Based.

*Combat:* Lavender Hulks prefer to use Flyby attacks, paralyzing opponents with their gaze before landing to rip into them.



*Lavender Hulk*

"What are those things it's shooting at?"

"Tell me those aren't flying Hulks."


*Paralysis 'Bees'*

"Those would be Huberta's contest entries."

"What a ghastly color."

*KRAKOW!*

"They should know better than to annoy Fred."


*Don't Make Fun Of Them*

"Perhaps they thought he was a statue?"

"Nah, he giggles every so often."

*KRAKOW!!*

"Perhaps we should move out of range of this?"

----------


## Bhu

*Periwinkle Hulk*
                      Large Aberration 
*Hit Dice:*             8d8+32 (68 hp)
*Initiative:*           +2
*Speed:*                30 ft. (6 squares)
*Armor Class:*          19 (-1 Large, +2 Dex, +8 natural), touch 11, flat-footed 17
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +6/+15
*Attack:*               Claw +10 melee (1d8+5)
*Full Attack:*          2 Claws +10 melee (1d8+5) and 1 Bite +5 melee (2d8+2)
*Space/Reach:*          10 ft./10 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Hypnotic Gaze, Flower Addiction
*Special Qualities:*    Dark Vision 60 ft., Tremorsense 60 ft.
*Saves:*                Fort +8, Ref +4, Will +6
*Abilities:*            Str 20, Dex 15, Con 18, Int 11, Wis 11, Cha 15
*Skills:*               Listen +11, Spot +11
*Feats:*                Endurance, Diehard, Great Fortitude
*Environment:*          Warm Plains
*Organization:*         Solitary, or Cluster (3-6)
*Challenge Rating:*     7
*Treasure:*             Standard
*Alignment:*            Usually Chaotic Neutral
*Advancement:*          9-12 HD (Large), 13-24 HD (Huge)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---


_"ABNER!! Abner there's a giant critter eatin' mah flowers!"_

_"And?"_

_"And you need ta do yer husbinly dutees and go whack 'im!"_

Professor Lamolle thought the idea of a contest of color coded evil minions was incredibly beneath him.  In defiance he decided to create a colorless Hulk.  And it worked out... sort of.  Their skin was colorless, making their organs and such visible.  Until they ate.  Then they absorbed the color of what they ate, possibly permanently if it stained.  Unfortunately the new Hulks had some problems with myrtle flowers.  Specifically they went completely nuts if they ate one, and it permanently dyes them a periwinkle color (hence their name).  As the contest was held outside, the Hulks had ample access to myrtle flowers, and did a surprising 40 million gold in property damage before being brought under control.  Periwinkle Hulks speak Terran.

*Hypnotic Gaze (Su):* Gaze, Mesmerizing Glare (see Spell Compendium), 30', DC 16 Willpower Save negates, Save DC is Charisma based.

*Flower Addiction (Ex):* If a Periwinkle Hulk eats a Myrtle flower it has to make a DC 20 Willpower Save 1d6 rounds later or it becomes subject to Frenzy.  This is identical to the class ability listed on page 34 of the Complete Warrior except that the Periwinkle Hulks don't attack each other.

*Combat:* Tactics are pretty similar to regular Umber Hulks, unless there are Myrtle flowers nearby.  If they've eaten any, just run.  There's no talking to them then.



*Periwinkle Hulk*

"I think we made a wrong turn."

"Whoever those critters came from needs to keep them under control.  They are absolutely wrecking that building."

"Oh, those are Lamolle's entries."

*Myrtle Fiends*

"They seem ill tempered."

"Are those myrtle flowers they're eating?"

"I hope not, Lamolle said they had issues with those."

"Issues?"

"I believe he said something to the effect of toxin induced psychosis."


*Hypnotic Berserkers*

"That doesn't bode well..."

"Heads up,  Panagiotis entered the contest too, and it looks like his entries are rounding the corner."

----------


## Bhu

*Sepia Hulk*
                      Large Aberration (Incorporeal)
*Hit Dice:*             10d8 (45 hp)
*Initiative:*           +7
*Speed:*                Fly 30 ft. (6 squares), Good
*Armor Class:*          20 (-1 Large, +3 Dex, +8 Deflection), touch 20, flat-footed 17
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +7/-
*Attack:*               Claw +9 melee touch (energy drain)
*Full Attack:*          2 Claws +9 melee touch (energy drain) and 1 Bite +9 melee touch (energy drain)
*Space/Reach:*          10 ft./10 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Shadow Touch
*Special Qualities:*    Dark Vision 60 ft., Blindsight 60 ft., Incorporeal Shadow
*Saves:*                Fort +3, Ref +6, Will +8
*Abilities:*            Str -, Dex 17, Con -, Int 7, Wis 13, Cha 16
*Skills:*               Hide +11, Listen +5, Move Silently +11, Search +3, Spot +5
*Feats:*                Great Fortitude, Improved Initiative, Improved Multiattack, Multiattack, 
*Environment:*          Any Cold
*Organization:*         Solitary or Pack (3-6)
*Challenge Rating:*     9
*Treasure:*             Standard
*Alignment:*            Usually Neutral Evil
*Advancement:*          11-15 HD (Large), 16-30 HD (Huge)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_"Abner...that shadow just moved..."_

Professor Panagiotis also thought the Minion contest wasn't truly serious, and rebelled at the idea of making something so foolish as a color coded Hulk Minion.  So he set about to make a colorless one as well, ending up with a Hulk that was completely black.  But the energies he exposed it too made it a true monster.  Not undead, it shared many of the characteristics of one.  An incorporeal phantom creature that hungered for the living.  And unfortunately for Panagiotis he was living, and available.  The Sepia Hulks have never made any attempt to communicate or shown that they understood any attempt to communicate with them.

*Shadow Touch (Su):* By making a touch attack the Hulk can bestow 1 Negative level upon it's opponent if it fails a DC 18 Fortitude Save (Save DC is Cha based).  The Hulk does not gain any temporary hit points from this as it is how it feeds, and the Negative Level only lasts 1 Minute.  It must drain 1 energy level per week or die.

*Incorporeal Shadow (Su):* Sepia Hulks are Incorporeal, and have no Strength or Constitution score (despite not being Undead).  They are immune to poison, sleep effects, disease, death effects, paralysis, stunning, critical hits, nonlethal damage, ability drain or damage, energy drain, fatigue, and exhaustion effects.  It does not breathe or sleep.  In total Darkness it is invisible as per the Greater Invisibility spell.

*Skills:* Sepia Hulks gain a +8 Racial Bonus to Hide and Move Silently Checks.

*Combat:* Sepia Hulks are an odd bunch.  If they aren't hungry they're content to merely watch hidden from the shadows.  Just to see what intruders are up to.  But if they are hungry, then the go for draining energy levels immediately, and running once they have enough.



*Sepia Hulk*

"Those look like Shadows..."

"Get that forcewall handy Jim."

"We've been trying to round them up with little success."

*Not Undead*

"A good Cleric will fix that."

"Oh, they aren't dead, just phantasmal."

"They're really going for those other Hulks."

"That doesn't bode well for us no matter which of them wins."

"You still have those teleport spells you're infamous for hoarding Harlan?"


*Fairly Harmless When They Aren't Hungry*

"Of course."

"Pop us over to old Lambis' lab.  It should be empty."

----------


## Bhu

*Grey Hulk*
                      Large Aberration 
*Hit Dice:*             8d8+32 (68 hp)
*Initiative:*           +1
*Speed:*                30 ft. (6 squares)
*Armor Class:*          16 (-1 Large, +1 Dex, +6 natural), touch 10, flat-footed 15
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +6/+17
*Attack:*               Claw +12 melee (1d8+7)
*Full Attack:*          2 Claws +12 melee (1d8+7) and 1 Bite +7 melee (2d8+3)
*Space/Reach:*          10 ft./10 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Powerful Charge (2d8+3d6+10)
*Special Qualities:*    Dark Vision 60 ft., Tremorsense 60 ft., Damage Reduction 5/-, Wide Angle Vision
*Saves:*                Fort +6, Ref +3, Will +6
*Abilities:*            Str 25, Dex 13, Con 19, Int 11, Wis 11, Cha 13
*Skills:*               Listen +11, Search +4, Spot +15
*Feats:*               Greater Powerful Charge, Powerful Charge, Reckless Charge (See the Miniature's Handbook)
*Environment:*          Warm Desert
*Organization:*         Solitary, or Herd (5-10)
*Challenge Rating:*     7
*Treasure:*             Standard
*Alignment:*            Usually Neutral Evil
*Advancement:*          9-12 HD (Large), 13-24 HD (Huge)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_"Where have I seen this thing before?"_

Professor Lambis had been obsessed with Umber Hulks since he was a child and was given toys modeled after them.  But upon actually seeing his first Umber Hulk he was massively disappointed.  They were gangly insectoid things as opposed to the hulking humanoid figures he remembered from his youth.  The contest was his perfect chance to remake the Hulk to his vision.  Now they are large humanoid figures with gray, elephant-like hide, and brown bony knobs on the chest and shoulders.  It has large claws and teeth, and shows no signs of it's insectoid heritage.  The Grey Hulks still speak Terran.

*Powerful Charge (Ex):* The Gray Hulk does 2d8+10 with a successful charge attack, plus the bonus damage from it's Feats.

*Wide Angle Vision (Ex):* The Gray hulk cannot be Flanked, and has a +4 Racial Bonus to Spot and Search checks.

*Combat:* Grey Hulks usually open with a charge, and then wail on their opponent.  Given the opportunity they will charge again.



Cookie for anyone who gets what this is...

*Grey Hulk*

"This lab is a wreck."

"Lambis is in the contest too isn't he?"

"Yes, but at least his Minion is acting like one.  Well, he is now, anyway."

*New And 'Improved'*

"Every creation is a bit frisky at first."

"Oh, there's Timothy now."

"rawur"

"Tiimothy doesn't look very Umber Hulk ish."

"Lambis always had  his quirks.  He always thought Hulks should be bigger."

"Whose a good Timothy?""

"rawur!"

*They're Surprisingly Amenable To Working For Food*

"I thought you said the place would be empty?"

"Well yes, except for Timothy.  He's needed as guard after the break-in's."

----------


## Bhu

*Green Hulk*
                      Large Aberration
*Hit Dice:*             12d8+96 (150, 198 Raging)
*Initiative:*           +0
*Speed:*                40 ft. (8 squares)
*Armor Class:*          18 (-1 Size, +9 natural), touch 9, flat-footed 18
*Armor Class Raging:*          16 (-2 Rage, -1 Size, +9 natural), touch 7, flat-footed 16
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +8/+25 (+29 Raging)
*Attack:*               Smash +16 melee (2d6+9)
*Attack Raging:*               Smash +20 melee (2d6+13)
*Full Attack:*          2 Smashes +16 melee (2d6+9)
*Full Attack Raging:*          2 Smashes +20 melee (2d6+13) 
*Space/Reach:*          10 ft./10 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Rage, Powerful Build
*Special Qualities:*    Dark Vision 60 ft., Regeneration 5, Damage Reduction 3/-
*Saves:*                Fort +13 (+17 Raging), Ref +4, Will +8 (+12 Raging)
*Abilities:*            Str 28 (36 Raging), Dex 11, Con 24 (32 Raging), Int 8, Wis 11, Cha 15
*Skills:*               Climb +13 (+17 Raging), Jump +13 (+17 Raging), Listen +4, Spot +3
*Feats:*                Destructive Rage, Great Fortitude, Improved Toughness, Instantaneous Rage, Mad Foam Rager*
*Environment:*          Any
*Organization:*         Solitary
*Challenge Rating:*     9
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Neutral
*Advancement:*          13-48 HD (Large)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

*See Complete Warrior and PHB2 for some Feats

_"Hey Abner, how da you say Please Don't Kill Us in freaky mutant critter?"_

Professor Arturo was a lazy slug.  Always had been.  Always would be.  With no clue as to what to do for the contest, he stole Professor Lambis' notes for transforming the Hulks by exposing them to planar energies.  His first two experiments (Alpha and Beta) died.  The third (Gamma) made a strange green, muscular Hulk with anger management issues.  He promptly beat Arturo like a government mule and escaped.  Arturo has made several more with the same results.  He, of course, lost the contest.  And a few brain cells from the multiple concussions.  The Green Hulks appear to speak Common.

*Powerful Build:* Identical to the ability listed on page 12 of the Expanded Psionics Handbook.

*Rage:* Identical to the Mighty Rage ability listed on Page 26 of the PHB.  It may be used a number of times per day equal to the Hulks Hit Dice divided by 3.

*Regeneration (Ex):*  Force damage deals normal damage to a Hulk. If a Hulk loses a limb or body part, the lost portion regrows in 3d6 minutes. The creature can reattach the severed member instantly by holding it to the stump. 

*Combat:* Green Hulks tend to fight by going into rage, charging, and repeatedly bashing whatever made them angry with their fists until it no longer needs bashing.



*Green Hulk*

"Break-in's?"

"Things got a wee bit too competitive didn't they?"

"Arturo and Zamfirescu wanted  to steal his research.  Neither of them took the time to do their own.  You know what procrastinators they are."

*Hulk Smash!*

"Using techniques you haven't studied thoroughly is always bad form."

"And their experiments weren't as nice as Timothy."

"rawur!"

"So what do these technicolor aberrations do?."

"Arturo's critters are green and angry.  Accent on the word angry.""

*Hulk Strongest One There Is!*

"Do they look like regular Hulks?"

"Nah, they're all smooth and musclely with no claws or mandibles.  Not that they need them."

----------


## Bhu

*Orange Hulk*
                      Large Aberration (Cold)
*Hit Dice:*             8d8+32 (68 hp)
*Initiative:*           +1
*Speed:*                20 ft. (4 squares)
*Armor Class:*          18 (-1 Size, +1 Dex, +8 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 18
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +6/+16
*Attack:*               Claw +11 melee (2d4+6)
*Full Attack:*          2 Claws +11 melee (2d4+6) and 1 Bite +6 melee (2d8+3)
*Space/Reach:*          10 ft./10 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Static Cling, Improved Grapple
*Special Qualities:*    Dark Vision 60 ft., Obscuring Hair
*Saves:*                Fort +6, Ref +3, Will +6
*Abilities:*            Str 23, Dex 13, Con 19, Int 9, Wis 11, Cha 15
*Skills:*               Listen +3, Search +2, Spot +3, Survival +2
*Feats:*               Ability Focus (Static Cling), Diehard, Endurance
*Environment:*          Any Cold
*Organization:*         Solitary or Group (3-6)
*Challenge Rating:*  7
*Treasure:*             Standard
*Alignment:*            Usually Neutral Evil
*Advancement:*          9-16 HD (Large), 17-43 HD (Huge)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_"Burt...Burt there's a huge pile o' hair out in the snow moving towards the cabin.."_

Following Professor Lambis' cue, Professor Zamfirescu wanted to be different.  He also stole a copy of Lambis' notes.  His Hulks are among the oddest of the bunch, appearing as huge mounds of orange hair.  The wool on them is so thick making out their features is difficult at a distance.  They appear to speak Sylvan, which is odd because no one at the school speaks Sylvan and they have no idea who they picked it up from.

*Improved Grapple (Ex):* If the Orange Hulk successfully hits with it's Claw Attack, it can make a Grapple Check as a Free Action without Provoking an Attack of Opportunity.  If successful it does it's Claw damage +1d6 electricity damage (due to the constant movement necessitated by Grappling the Orange Hulk does +1d6 electricity damage with a successful Grapple Check).

*Static Cling (Ex)*  The thick hair of the Orange Hulk builds up huge charges of static electricity as it moves.  Any round that the Hulk moves and attacks it does +1d6 electricity damage with any attacks (+2d6 if it charges).  As a Move Action the Hulk may shuffle it's feet back and forth to build up a massive charge.  It's next hit does +4d6 electricity damage.  Any time the Hulk successfully criticals with an electrified attack it's opponent must make a DC 18 Fortitude Save or be Stunned 1 round (Save DC is Charisma Based). 

*Obscuring Hair (Ex):* Opponents of the Orange Hulk take a -4 Circumstance Penalty on all Critical Confirmation rolls as the thick hair on their bodies obscures them.  

*Combat*: Orange Hulks charge into the fray, blasting their opponents with their electrical claw attack.  After that they usually just Grapple or rip away.



*Orange Hulk*

"And Zamfirescu's bunch?"

"This should be good..."

"Orange and covered in thick wool.  Thankfully they aren't as dumb as sheep despite having similar outerwear."

*Hulk Shuffle!*

"Wooly hulks?"

"And the weirdest part is they speak Sylvan."

"How is that weird?"

"Zamfirescu and his staff don't speak Sylvan.  We had to hunt down a Fey to figure out the language."

*Hulk Fwuffy!*

"This is too far out of control.  Can we drop you off somewhere?"

"Nah, I'll be safe with Timothy!"

"rawur!"

"Good luck then!  Good to see you again!"

----------


## Bhu

*Were-Kittens*

Originally created by Talindra, the Goddess of Zoanthropes, to serve as her spies, Were Kittens have spread about the world. Many other organizations have found ways to use them besides hers, and they have found a very lucrative niche in some places. Some others simply enjoy life as kittens and the free food that comes with being one.  And it comes in handy when fleeing the law too.

Were Kitten is an Acquired or Inherited template that can be added to any humanoid. 

*Size and Type:* Type doesnt change, but it does gain the Shapechanger subtype. Size in Kitten form is Diminutive, Size in Hybrid form is Tiny. Size in humanoid form is unchanged.

*Hit Dice:* Unchanged

*Speed:* Land speed is 30 in Hybrid and Kitten forms, otherwise unchanged. May not use any alternate movement forms the humanoid form possesses in the Kitten or hybrid Forms.

*Armor Class:* Use the humanoid forms Natural Armor bonus for all 3 forms. Natural Armor bonus increases by +1.

*Base Attack/Grapple:* Use the humanoids BAB for all 3 forms (Grapple bonus will change due to Size penalties in Hybrid and Kitten forms).

*Attacks:* Same as base creature in Humanoid form, same as Kitten in Kitten Form (Kittens have 2 claw attacks doing 1 point of damage plus Strength bonus, and 1 Bite doing 1d2 + 1/2 Strength bonus), attacks in Hybrid Form are 2 Claw attacks doing 1d2 plus Strength and 1 Bite doing 1d3 plus Strength.

*Special Attacks:* Hybrid and Kitten Forms gain Cursed Bite.

*Cursed Bite (Su):* Any humanoid hit by a werekittens bite attack in animal or hybrid form must succeed on a DC 15 Fortitude save or contract lycanthropy. 

*Special Qualities:* All 3 forms possess Low Light Vision, Scent, Alternate Form, Cat Empathy, and Damage Reduction 5/Silver.

*Alternate Form (Su):* A werekitten can assume a bipedal hybrid form or the form of a kitten. 

*Cat Empathy (Su):* Can communicate with Cats and has a +4 Racial bonus on Charisma based checks to influence them.

*Saves:* Increase Base creatures Fortitude and Reflex Saves by +2.

*Abilities:* Were Kittens gain +2 Wis. In Kitten and Hybrid Forms it gains +4 Dex, +2 Cha. 

*Skills:* Were Kittens gain a + 8 Racial bonus to Jump and Balance checks. They also have a +4 Racial bonus to Climb, Hide, and Move Silently checks. In Kitten and Hybrid forms while in heavy undergrowth or tall grass the Hide bonus increases to +8. Were Kittens may use their Strength or Dexterity modifier for Climb and Jump checks, whichever is better.

*Feats:* Weapon Finesse and Iron Will as Bonus Feats.

*Environment:* Unchanged. 

*Organization:* Solitary (Unchanged if there are enough other Were Kittens about, or in squads of 5-10 if working for the Lycanthrope Goddess). 

*Challenge Rating:* +1

*Treasure:* Standard

*Alignment:* Usually Neutral with some tendencies towards Chaos.

*Advancement:* By Character Class

*Level Adjustment:* +1 Afflicted (+2 Natural)


Example Were Kitten: 1st level human Ninja, Lil Mister Fuzzy

*Human Form*

Medium Humanoid (Shapechanger)
*Hit Dice:* 1d6-1 (5 hp)
*Initiative:* +2
*Speed:* 30 ft. (6 squares)
*Armor Class:* 16 (+2 Dex, +1 Natural, +3 Ninja), touch 15, flat-footed 14
*Base Attack/Grapple:* +0/+1
*Attack:* Short Sword +2 melee (1d6+1) or Short Bow +2 Ranged (1d6)
*Full Attack:* Short Sword +2 melee(1d6+1) or Short Bow +2 Ranged (1d6)
*Space/Reach:* 5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:* +1d6 Sudden Strike
*Special Qualities:* Low-Light Vision, Scent, Alternate Form, Cat Empathy, DR 5/Silver, Trapfinding, Ki Power 4/day
*Saves:* Fort +1, Ref +6, Will +5
*Abilities:* Str 12, Dex 15, Con 8, Int 10, Wis 16, Cha 13
*Skills:* Balance +10, Bluff +5, Climb +6, Disable Device +4, Escape Artist +6, Hide +6, Jump +10, Listen +5, Move Silently +6, Open Lock +6, Search +4, Spot +5,Tumble +6
*Feats:* Alertness, Iron Will (b), Weapon Finesse (b)
*Environment:* Any
*Organization:* Solitary or Organization (10-1000)
*Challenge Rating:* 2
*Treasure:* Standard
*Alignment:* Neutral
*Advancement:* By character class
*Level Adjustment:* +2


*Hybrid Form*

Tiny Humanoid (Shapechanger)
*Hit Dice:* 1d6-1 (5 hp)
*Initiative:* +4
*Speed:* 30 ft. (6 squares)
*Armor Class:* 20 (+2 Size, +4 Dex, +1 Natural, +3 Ninja), touch 19, flat-footed 16
*Base Attack/Grapple:* +0/-7
*Attack:* Claw +6 melee (1d2+1)
*Full Attack:* 2 Claws +6 (1d2+1) and 1 Bite +1 melee(1d3+1)
*Space/Reach:* 2 1/2 ft./ 0 ft.
*Special Attacks:* +1d6 Sudden Strike, Cursed Bite
*Special Qualities:* Low-Light Vision, Scent, Cat Empathy, Alternate Form, DR 5/Silver, Trapfinding, Ki Power 4/day
*Saves:* Fort +1, Ref +8, Will +5
*Abilities:* Str 12, Dex 19, Con 8, Int 10, Wis 16, Cha 15
*Skills:* Balance +12, Bluff +6, Climb +8, Disable Device +4, Escape Artist +8, Hide +16, Jump +12, Listen +5, Move Silently +8, Open Lock +8, Search +4, Spot +5, Tumble +8
*Feats:* Alertness, Iron Will (B), Weapon Finesse (B)
*Environment:* Any
*Organization:* Solitary or Organization (10-1000)
*Challenge Rating:* 2
*Treasure:* Standard
*Alignment:* Neutral
*Advancement:* By Character Class
*Level Adjustment:* +2

*Kitten Form*

Diminutive Humanoid (Shapechanger)
*Hit Dice:* 1d6-1 (5 hp)
*Initiative:* +7
*Speed:* 30 ft. (6 squares)
*Armor Class:* 21 (+4 Size,+4 Dex, +1 Natural, +3 Ninja ), touch 20, flat-footed 17
*Base Attack/Grapple:* +0/-11
*Attack:* Claw +8 melee (1 point)
*Full Attack:* 2 Claws +8 melee (1 point) and 1 Bite +3 melee (1d2+1)
*Space/Reach:* 1 ft./0 ft.
*Special Attacks:* +1d6 Sudden Strike, Cursed Bite
*Special Qualities:* Low-Light Vision, Scent, Cat Empathy, Alternate Form, DR 5/Silver, Trapfinding, Ki Power 4/day
*Saves:* Fort +1, Ref +8, Will +5
*Abilities:* Str 12, Dex 19, Con 8, Int 10, Wis 16, Cha 15
*Skills:* Balance +12, Bluff +6, Climb +8, Disable Device +4, Escape Artist +8, Hide +16, Jump +12, Listen +5, Move Silently +8, Open Lock +8, Search +4, Spot +5, Tumble +8
*Feats:* Alertness, Iron Will (B), Weapon Finesse (B)
*Environment:* Any
*Organization:* Solitary or Organization (10-1000)
*Challenge Rating:* 2
*Treasure:* Standard
*Alignment:* Neutral
*Advancement:* By Character Class
*Level Adjustment:* +2

Lil Mister Fuzzy was bitten by a Werekitten on a job.  Laughed out of his ninja clan, he now specializes as a spy and saboteur for those willing to pay for his unique skills.

*Lord Fuzzington:* Good evening everyone, please be seated!
(crowd murmurs)
*Lord Fuzzington:* As you know the local sushi house, Bob's Stale Fish has been ransacked and taken over by PIRATES! 
*Crowd:* BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! HIIISSSS!!
*Lord Fuzzington:* We cannot allow this!
*Crowd:* YEAH!
*Lord Fuzzington:*Tonight our claws shall drink deeply into their poofy pirate shirts!
*Crowd:* YEAH!
*Lord Fuzzington:*  And then we shall mock them while wearing their own eyepatches!
*Crowd:* YEAH!
*Lord Fuzzington:* As I understand the captain and his core crew are currently passed out drunk at the Itchy Walrus.   After we dispatch them we retake Bobs!
*Crowd:* YEAH!
*Lord Fuzzington:* And the gods willing Bob will be a little less stingy with the free sashimi for kitties in the future...
*Crowd:* YEAH!



*Were Kitten*

*BAMF!!*

"Where are we now Harlan?"

"Should be a church in the city of Arrival.  Hopefully still a Church that isn't all sacrificey."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!"

*Who's Mommies Widdle Angel?*

"Must you scream like that?"

"I always scream when I walk into my quarters and find strange people there."

"Why are you naked?"

"Why aren't you?"

*Spies of the Zoanthropw Gawdess!*

"Fair enough."

"Guards!"

"Relax man.  Clearlly my teleport spell was off.  No need to be unreasonable."

----------


## Metastachydium

> *Fuchsia Hulk*
>                       Colossal Aberration 
> *Hit Dice:*             80d8+880 (1240 hp)
> *Initiative:*           +0


+4, unless I'm missing something (Improved Initiative).




> *Challenge Rating:*     27


I'm skeptical about that. At the level range of 2327, characters will have better defenses against fire and claw-claw-bite and the defenses of the hulk itself are not _that_ impressive.




> *Lavender Hulk*
>                       Large Aberration 
> *Hit Dice:*             8d8+32 (68 hp)
> *Initiative:*           +2
> *Speed:*                20 ft. (5 squares)


4 squares.




> Unfortunately Hulks don't make great flyers.  Even when they've had bee wings added to their frames they give Bumble Bee's a run for their money for clumsiest airborne species.


Bumblebees might not be hoverflies (still, what _is_, other than hoverflies themselves?), but, in actual fact, they are pretty darn nimble and efficient fliers. They'd easily rate good on a D&D maneuverability scale. People _think_ they should be clumsy because they are round and fuzzy, but that's not the case.




> *Periwinkle Hulk*
> 
> ()
> 
> *Flower Addiction (Ex):* If a Periwinkle Hulk eats a Myrtle flower it has to make a DC 20 Willpower Save 1d6 rounds later or it becomes subject to Frenzy.  This is identical to the class ability listed on page 34 of the Complete Warrior except that the Periwinkle Hulks don't attack each other.


What can flowers do against such reckless hate?!




> *Sepia Hulk*
> 
> ()
> 
> *Full Attack:*          2 Claws +9 melee touch (energy drain) and 1 Bite +4 melee touch (energy drain)


With Improved Multiattack that should be +9 claws/+9 bite




> *Abilities:*            Str -, Dex 17, Con -, Int 7, Wis 13, Cha 16


I'm not entirely certain a living creature can _not_ have a CON score. It's kind of a prerequisite for being alive.




> *Green Hulk*
> 
> ()
> 
> *Special Qualities:*    Dark Vision 60 ft., Regeneration 5


Warning! The bypass, if any, for Regeneration is not specified.




> *Orange Hulk*
>                       Large Aberration (Cold)


Okay, this one sounds weirdly cute and the static discharge is _much_ fun. My only question is this: shouldn't the Cold subtype grant some manner of protection against cold (weather or damage), even absent the usual immunity/vulnerability thing (although honestly, I could see something _this_ fuzzy being vulnersable to fire)?

♣
Oh, and here's a brief tribute to express my appreciation for this series:


*Jonquil Hulk*
Plumper, squatter and softer than its umber cousins, the jonquil hulk is covered in a coat of vivid yellow fur with a plushy texture to it. Lacking the overlong claws and the massive, serrated mandibles, it looks largely harmless. But that's a ruse.

*Size/Type:* Large Aberration
*Hit Dice:* 4d8+28 (46 hp)
*Initiative:* -2
*Speed:* 25 ft. (5 squares)
*Armor Class:* 15 (1 size, -2 Dex, +8 natural), touch 7, flat-footed 15
*Base Attack/Grapple:* +3/+11
*Attack:* Slap +6 melee (2d4+4 subdual) or unicorn glance +1 ranged touch (see text)
*Full Attack:* 2 slaps +6 melee (2d4+4 subdual) and headbutt +4 melee (2d8+2 subdual) 	or unicorn glance +1 ranged touch (see text)
*Space/Reach:* 10 ft./10 ft.
*Special Attacks:* Unicorn glance
*Special Qualities:* Darkvision 60 ft., DR 15/piercing or slashing, tremorsense 40 ft.
*Saves:* Fort +8, Ref -1, Will +5
*Abilities:* Str 19, Dex 7, Con 24, Int 11, Wis 8, Cha 18
*Skills:* Climb +7, Jump +8, Move Silently +9, Spot +6
*Feats:* Iron Will, Multiattack
*Environment:* Any temperate
*Organization:* Solitary or collection (48)
*Challenge Rating:* 3
*Alignment:* Often chaotic evil
*Advancement:* 58 HD (Large)
*Level Adjustment:* 

*Combat*
Jonquil hulks don't bother with elaborate tactics. They will fling unicorns at foes as long as those are far enough to fling unicorns at. If their opponents manage to close regardless, the hulks proceed to try and slap them into submission.

*Unicorn Glance (Su)*
Every other round, a jonquil hulk can fix its gaze on an opponent. As a standard action, it can then produce an effect identical to Melf's Unicorn Arrow as cast by a 6th level Sorcerer.

*Skills*
Due to its soft coat, a jonquil hulk has a +10 racial bonus on Move Silently checks.

----------


## Bhu

I like it.  Fair warning next week will be all zoanthropes (one birdie).  Plus more the week after if anyoen has requests.  I'll get corrections done soon, today was a bad day.

----------


## Metastachydium

> I like it.


Thanks!  




> Fair warning next week will be all zoanthropes (one birdie).


You got my attention, Sir.




> Plus more the week after if anyoen has requests.


One birdy is much better than no birdies, but I can't promise I won't lobby for more.




> I'll get corrections done soon, today was a bad day.


Well, better days, then!

----------


## Bhu

Fair warning, these are divine creations so some may differ somewhat from standard lycanthropes.

----------


## Metastachydium

Why, I _expect_ that much! It's half the appeal, really. I can already slap the lycanthrope template on stuff, including birdies (mark my words, one day I'll get around to playing a werechordevoc!). But when it comes to "a bit/lot like a lycanthrope, but totally not a lycanthrope"? Now, _that_ means we're talking.

----------


## Bhu

I have adjusted the Hulks, and beefed up the Fuschia

----------


## Metastachydium

> beefed up the Fuschia


Well, I'm still not sure, but yeah, that's more like it.

----------


## Bhu

As some of you may know, this week was hell for me, so I apologize in advance for any typos.  I'll correct them during the week assuming things stay sane.

*Were Porcupine*

Were Porcupine is an Acquired or Inherited template that can be added to any Small humanoid. In this case the smaller Humanoid races that are less kind than Gnomes and Halflings.  Or that are more paranoid.  They are often used as sentries at temples of the Zoanthrope Goddess.  Mostly because no one wants  to get quilled trying to pass them.

*Size and Type:* Size and Type doesnt change, but it does gain the Shapechanger subtype.

*Hit Dice:* Same as the base creature plus 1d8.  To calculate total hit points, apply Constitution modifiers according to the score the zoanthrope has in each form. 

*Speed:* Land speed is unchanged, it gains a Climb Speed of 15 ft. in Hybrid and Porcupine Forms.

*Armor Class:* Gains +2 Natural Bonus in Humanoid Form, +4 in Hybrid and Porcupine Forms.

*Attacks:* Use the humanoids BAB for all 3 forms.

*Damage:* Same as base creature in Humanoid form, same as Porcupine in Porcupine and Hybrid Forms (Porcupines have 2 claw attacks doing 1d3 damage plus Strength bonus, and 1 Bite doing 1d3 + 1/2 Strength bonus).

*Special Attacks:* A zoanthrope retains the special attacks of the base creature or base animal, depending on which form it is using, and also gains the special attacks described below:

Curse of Zoanthropy(Su):  Any humanoid hit by a natural zoanthropes bite attack in animal or hybrid form must succeed on a DC 15 Fortitude save or contract zoanthropy. If the victims size is not within one size category of the zoanthrope the victim cannot contract zoanthropy from that zoanthrope. Afflicted zoanthropes cannot pass on the curse of zoanthropy. 

*Special Qualities:* A zoanthrope retains all the special qualities of the base creature and the base animal, and also gains those described below:

Alternate Form (Su):  A zoanthrope can assume the form of a specific animal (as indicated in its entry).  Changing to or from animal or hybrid form is a standard action.  A slain zoanthrope reverts to its humanoid form, although it remains dead. Separated body parts retain their animal form, however.  Afflicted zoanthropes find this ability difficult to control, but natural zoanthropes have full control over this power.

Damage Reduction (Ex): An afflicted zoanthrope in animal or hybrid form has damage reduction 5/silver. A natural zoanthrope in animal or hybrid form has damage reduction 10/silver.

Porcupine Empathy (Ex): In any form, zoanthropes can communicate and empathize with normal or dire animals of their animal form. This gives them a +4 racial bonus on checks when influencing the animals attitude and allows the communication of simple concepts and (if the animal is friendly) commands, such as "friend," "foe," "flee," and "attack."

Low-light Vision (Ex): A zoanthrope has low-light vision in any form.

Scent (Ex): A zoanthrope has the scent ability in any form. 

Quills (Ex): Instead of it's normal attacks the Porcupine may whack it's opponent with it's body, potentially impaling it with quills as a Standard Action.  Opponents who attack it also risk harming themselves if they attack it with a Grapple, Natural Weapon or Unarmed Strike (they must make a Reflex Save to not be quilled, Save DC is 10 plus 1/2 Hit Dice plus opponents Str Modifier.  Minimum of +1 if opponent has a low Str).  As an attack the quills do 1d6 plus your Str Modifier, if your opponent was quilled because he was foolish enough to attack you bare-handed it does 1d6 plus _his_ Str modifier.  Once quilled an opponent takes a -1 Circumstance Penalty to attack rolls, Saving Throws, and Skill Checks until the quills are removed.  This penalty increases by 1 each time he is successfully quilled again with no theoretical upper limit.  In addition he takes an additional 1d2 damage per Minute until the quills are removed.  There are two ways to remove quills: A Str or Heal Check (DC is 10 plus 1/2 your HD plus your Constitution Modifier).  One successful Check is necessary to reduce the Penalty by -1, and once it reaches 0 all the quills are removed.  The victim takes 1d4 damage per Str Check, whether it is successful or not.   He only takes damage on a Heal Check if it is unsuccessful.

*Saves:* Must be recalculated in Hybrid and Porcupine forms due to stat changes, and gains a +2 Racial Bonus to Fort and Will Saves.

*Abilities:* +2 Wis.  +2 Dex and +2 Con in Hybrid and Porcupine Forms.

*Skills:* Were Porcupines gain a +4 Racial Bonus to Listen Checks, and a +8 Racial Bonus on Climb Checks.  They may always Take 10 on a Climb Check. Gains (2+Int) skill points, Class Skills are Climb, Hide, Listen and Spot.

*Feats:* Gains Alertness and Iron Will as Bonus Feats.

*Environment:* Unchanged.

*Organization:* Unchanged.

*Challenge Rating:* +1

*Treasure:* Unchanged, usually Standard.

*Alignment:* Usually Neutral

*Advancement:* By Character Class.

*Level Adjustment:* +2 Afflicted (+3 Natural)


*Quilby (Svirfneblin Fighter 3/Were Porcupine* (Gnome Form)
                      Small Humanoid (Gnome, Shapechanger)
*Hit Dice:*             3d10+6 plus 1d8+3 (29 hp)
*Initiative:*           +3
*Speed:*                20 ft. (4 squares)
*Armor Class:*          16 (+1 Size, +3 Dex, +2 Natural), touch 14, flat-footed 13
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +3/+0
*Attack:*               Heavy Pick +8 melee (1d4+1/x4)
*Full Attack:*          Heavy Pick +8 melee (1d4+1/x4)
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      ---
*Special Qualities:*    Svirfneblin traits, Alternate Form, Porcupine Empathy, Low-light Vision, Scent
*Saves:*                Fort +9, Ref +8, Will +5
*Abilities:*            Str 13, Dex 16, Con 14, Int 8, Wis 14, Cha 6
*Skills:*               Climb +2, Craft (Alchemy) +3, Hide +9, Intimidate +0, Jump +2, Listen +2, Spot +3
*Feats:*                Combat Reflexes, Weapon Finesse, Alertness (B), Iron Will (B), Weapon Focus (Heavy Pick, B), Weapon Specialization (Heavy Pick, B)
*Challenge Rating:*     4
*Treasure:*             Standard
*Alignment:*            Neutral
*Advancement:*          By Character Class
*Level Adjustment:*     +3

*Quilby (Svirfneblin Fighter 3/Were Porcupine* (Hybrid Form)
                      Small Humanoid (Gnome, Shapechanger)
*Hit Dice:*             3d10+6 plus 1d8+3 (29 hp)
*Initiative:*           +4
*Speed:*                20 ft. (4 squares), Climb 15 ft.
*Armor Class:*          19 (+1 Size, +4 Dex, +4 Natural), touch 15, flat-footed 15
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +3/+0
*Attack:*               Claw +8 melee (1d3+1)
*Full Attack:*          2 Claws +8 melee (1d3+1) and 1 Bite +3 melee (1d3)
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Curse of Zoanthropy
*Special Qualities:*    Svirfneblin traits, Alternate Form, Porcupine Empathy, Low-light Vision, Scent, Quills
*Saves:*                Fort +10, Ref +9, Will +5
*Abilities:*            Str 13, Dex 18, Con 16, Int 8, Wis 14, Cha 6
*Skills:*               Climb +10, Craft (Alchemy) +3, Hide +9, Intimidate +0, Jump +2, Listen +6, Spot +3
*Feats:*                Combat Reflexes, Weapon Finesse, Alertness (B), Iron Will (B), Weapon Focus (Heavy Pick, B), Weapon Specialization (Heavy Pick, B)
*Challenge Rating:*     4
*Treasure:*             Standard
*Alignment:*            Neutral
*Advancement:*          By Character Class
*Level Adjustment:*     +3

*Quilby (Svirfneblin Fighter 3/Were Porcupine* (Porcupine Form)
                      Small Humanoid (Gnome, Shapechanger)
*Hit Dice:*             3d10+6 plus 1d8+3 (29 hp)
*Initiative:*           +4
*Speed:*                20 ft. (4 squares), Climb 15 ft.
*Armor Class:*          19 (+1 Size, +4 Dex, +4 Natural), touch 15, flat-footed 15
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +3/+0
*Attack:*               Claw +8 melee (1d3+1)
*Full Attack:*          2 Claws +8 melee (1d3+1) and 1 Bite +3 melee (1d3)
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Curse of Zoanthropy
*Special Qualities:*    Svirfneblin traits, Alternate Form, Porcupine Empathy, Low-light Vision, Scent, Quills
*Saves:*                Fort +10, Ref +9, Will +5
*Abilities:*            Str 13, Dex 18, Con 16, Int 8, Wis 14, Cha 6
*Skills:*               Climb +10, Craft (Alchemy) +3, Hide +9, Intimidate +0, Jump +2, Listen +6, Spot +3
*Feats:*                Combat Reflexes, Weapon Finesse, Alertness (B), Iron Will (B), Weapon Focus (Heavy Pick, B), Weapon Specialization (Heavy Pick, B)
*Challenge Rating:*     4
*Treasure:*             Standard
*Alignment:*            Neutral
*Advancement:*          By Character Class
*Level Adjustment:*     +3

Quillby is an outcast among his people for reasons he'd rather not go in to.  Talindra found him starving on the side of the road and made him a guard at one of her temples.  He's actually quite happy now that he feels he's been given a purpose.




*Were Porcupine*

"Wot's all this here then?

"Harlan, this doesn't appear to be a Gnomish temple"

"Quillby? Is that you?"

"Harlan?  What are you doing here?"

"Teleported in to avoid a Wizards contest gone wrong.  What happened? This was Ulfgar's temple last I knew."

"They moved down the road.  It's Talindra's now."

*Mess With The Porc And You Get The Pine*

"Ah, the Zoanthrope Gawdess.  That explains the quills."

"I still need you people out of my room.  This is trespassing."

"We had no intention of trespassing, perhaps we can come to some sort of accord."

"That'll be up to the priest."

*Not Bribeable With Apples (hint, hint, nudge)*

"Fair enough."

"We got a visitin' priest today.  Come with me."

"Never did like priests.  It takes an odd man or woman to live with a D+Gawd in their heads all the time."

----------


## Bhu

*Were Komodo Dragon*

Much like the Pink Fairy Armadillo Weres, the Komodos are are creations of the Goddess of Zoanthropes.  When seeing that the locals of an island group worshiped the large lizards as Gawds it was inevitable she would use this to her advantage.  Sure, it only gives her control over a few islands, but every would be world dominator has to start somewhere.

Were Komodo Dragon is an Acquired or Inherited template that can be added to any humanoid. 

*Size and Type:* Type doesnt change, but it does gain the Shapechanger subtype. Size in Dragon form is Medium, Size in Hybrid form is also Medium. Size in humanoid form is unchanged.

*Hit Dice:* Same as the base creature plus 3d8.  To calculate total hit points, apply Constitution modifiers according to the score the zoanthrope has in each form

*Speed:* Gains a 30 foot Swim speed in Komodo Dragon and Hybrid forms.

*Armor Class:*  Natural Armor Bonus increases by +2 in Humanoid Form, and +5 in Hybrid and Komodo Forms.

*Attacks:* Add the base attack bonus for the base animal (+2) to the base attack bonus for the base creature. The zoanthropes grapple bonus uses its attack bonus and modifiers for Strength and size depending on the zoanthropes form. 

*Damage:* Same as base creature in Humanoid form, same as Komodo in Komodo Form (Komodo Dragons have 1 Bite doing 1d8 plus one and a half times Strength bonus), bite damage is 1d8 plus one and a half Strength bonus in Hybrid form.  If opponents are behind them they use a Tail Lash instead (damage is the same).

*Special Attacks*: A zoanthrope retains the special attacks of the base creature or base animal, depending on which form it is using, and also gains the special attacks described below:

Curse of Zoanthropy(Su):  Any humanoid or giant hit by a natural zoanthropes bite attack in animal or hybrid form must succeed on a DC 15 Fortitude save or contract zoanthropy. If the victims size is not within one size category of the zoanthrope the victim cannot contract zoanthropy from that zoanthrope. Afflicted zoanthropes cannot pass on the curse of zoanthropy. 

Toxic Bite (Ex):  Injury, Fort Save (Save DC is Con based), Initial Damage is 1d4 Strength and opponent continues to lose 1 hp per round until the victim takes 1 hp of magical healing or a DC 15 heal Check is made due to continual blood loss.  Secondary damage is 1d4 Strength.

Rush (Ex): When performing a successful Tail Lash (or any Charge Attack with a Bite while in Komodo Form), the Were-Komodo can immediately make a Trip Attack as a Free Action without provoking an Attack of Opportunity.  If the attempt fails, the opponent cannot react to trip the Were Komodo.

*Special Qualities:* A zoanthrope retains all the special qualities of the base creature and the base animal, and also gains those described below:

Alternate Form (Su):  A zoanthrope can assume the form of a specific animal (as indicated in its entry).  Changing to or from animal or hybrid form is a standard action.  A slain zoanthrope reverts to its humanoid form, although it remains dead. Separated body parts retain their animal form, however.  Afflicted zoanthropes find this ability difficult to control, but natural zoanthropes have full control over this power.

Damage Reduction (Ex): An afflicted zoanthrope in animal or hybrid form has damage reduction 5/silver. A natural zoanthrope in animal or hybrid form has damage reduction 10/silver.

Lizard Empathy (Ex): In any form, zoanthropes can communicate and empathize with normal or dire animals of their animal form. This gives them a +4 racial bonus on checks when influencing the animals attitude and allows the communication of simple concepts and (if the animal is friendly) commands, such as "friend," "foe," "flee," and "attack."

Low-light Vision (Ex): A zoanthrope has low-light vision in any form.

Scent (Ex): A zoanthrope has the scent ability in any form. 

Improved Scent (Ex): A Were Komodo can notice creatures by scent in a 180-foot radius and detect blood or corpses at ranges of up to 5 miles. 

Running Spurt (Ex): The Were Komodo can increase it's base land speed by +30 feet for 1 round per point of Constitution modifier.  Once used it must rest for 1 hour before it can use the Running Spurt again.

Low Metabolism (Ex): Were Komodos can go up to a month without food before needing to make Fortitude checks against starvation.

Disease Resistant (Ex): Were Komodos gain a +2 Resistance Bonus on Fortitude Saves against disease.

*Saves:* Must be recalculated in Hybrid and Komodo forms due to stat changes, and gains a +3 Racial Bonus to Fort and Ref Saves, and a +1 Bonus to Will Saves.

*Abilities:* Were Komodos gain +2 Wis.  In Hybrid and Komodo forms they also gain +6 Str, +6 Con and +4 Dex.

*Skills:* Were Komodos have a +8 racial bonus on any Swim check to perform some special action or avoid a hazard. It can always choose to take 10 on a Swim check, even if distracted or endangered. It can use the run action while swimming, provided it swims in a straight line.  Were Komodos have a +4 racial bonus on Hide and Move Silently checks. In forested or overgrown areas, the Hide bonus improves to +8. Skill bonuses are only available in Hybrid and Komodo forms.  They gain (2+Int) skill points times three Hit Dice, Class Skills are Climb, Hide, Listen, Move Silently, Spot and Swim.

*Feats:* Gains Alertness,  Great Fortitude and Iron Will as Bonus Feats.

*Environment:* Unchanged

*Organization:* Unchanged, usually Solitary

*Challenge Rating:* +2

*Treasure:* Unchanged, usually Standard.

*Alignment:* Usually Neutral with some tendencies towards Chaos.

*Advancement:* By character class.

*Level Adjustment:* +3 Afflicted (+4 Natural)

*King Komodo (Adept 3/Were Komodo)* (Human Form)
                      Medium Humanoid (Human, Shapechanger)
*Hit Dice:*             3d6+3 plus 3d8+12 (38 hp)
*Initiative:*           +4
*Speed:*                30 ft. (6 squares)
*Armor Class:*          12 (+2 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 12
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +3/+4
*Attack:*               Shortspear +4 melee (1d6+1)
*Full Attack:*          Shortspear +4 melee (1d6+1)
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Spells
*Special Qualities:*    Alternate Form, Lizard Empathy, Low-light Vision, Scent, Find Familiar
*Saves:*                Fort +7, Ref +4, Will +9
*Abilities:*            Str 13, Dex 10, Con 12, Int 11, Wis 17, Cha 8
*Skills:*               Climb +2, Concentration +3, Hide +2, Knowledge (Arcana, Local) +6, Listen +5, Move Silently +2, Spellcraft +5, Spot +5, Survival +5, Swim +2
*Feats:*                Cleave, Combat Reflexes, Power Attack, Alertness (B), Great Fortitude (B), Improved Initiative (B), Iron Will (B)
*Challenge Rating:*     5
*Treasure:*             Standard
*Alignment:*            Chaotic Neutral
*Advancement:*          By Character Class
*Level Adjustment:*     +4


*King Komodo (Adept 3/Were Komodo)* (Hybrid Form)
                      Medium Humanoid (Human, Shapechanger)
*Hit Dice:*             3d6+3 plus 3d8+12 (38 hp)
*Initiative:*           +6
*Speed:*                30 ft. (6 squares), Swim 30 ft.
*Armor Class:*          17 (+2 Dex, +5 Natural), touch 12, flat-footed 15
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +3/+7
*Attack:*               Shortspear +7 melee (1d6+4) or Bite +7 melee (1d8+6 plus poison) or Tail Lash +7 melee (1d8+6)
*Full Attack:*          Shortspear +7 melee (1d6+4) or Bite +7 melee (1d8+6 plus poison) or Tail Lash +7 melee (1d8+6)
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Spells, Curse of Zoanthropy, Toxic Bite, Rush
*Special Qualities:*    Alternate Form, DR 10/Silver, Lizard Empathy, Low-light Vision, Scent, Improved Scent, Running Spurt, Low Metabolism, Find Familiar
*Saves:*                Fort +10, Ref +6, Will +9
*Abilities:*            Str 19, Dex 14, Con 18, Int 11, Wis 17, Cha 8
*Skills:*               Climb +5, Concentration +6, Hide +8, Knowledge (Arcana, Local) +6, Listen +5, Move Silently +8, Spellcraft +5, Spot +5, Survival +5, Swim +13
*Feats:*                Cleave, Combat Reflexes, Power Attack, Alertness (B), Great Fortitude (B), Improved Initiative (B), Iron Will (B)
*Challenge Rating:*     5
*Treasure:*             Standard
*Alignment:*            Chaotic Neutral
*Advancement:*          By Character Class
*Level Adjustment:*     +4


*King Komodo (Adept 3/Were Komodo)* (Komodo Form)
                      Medium Humanoid (Human, Shapechanger)
*Hit Dice:*             3d6+3 plus 3d8+12 (38 hp)
*Initiative:*           +6
*Speed:*                30 ft. (6 squares), Swim 30 ft.
*Armor Class:*          17 (+2 Natural, +5 Natural), touch 12, flat-footed 15
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +3/+7
*Attack:*               Bite +7 melee (1d8+6 plus poison) or Tail Lash +7 melee (1d8+6)
*Full Attack:*          Bite +7 melee (1d8+6 plus poison) or Tail Lash +7 melee (1d8+6)
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Curse of Zoanthropy, Toxic Bite, Rush
*Special Qualities:*    Alternate Form, DR 10/Silver, Lizard Empathy, Low-light Vision, Scent, Improved Scent, Running Spurt, Low Metabolism, Find Familiar
*Saves:*                Fort +10, Ref +6, Will +9
*Abilities:*            Str 19, Dex 14, Con 18, Int 11, Wis 17, Cha 8
*Skills:*               Climb +5, Concentration +6, Hide +8, Knowledge (Arcana, Local) +6, Listen +5, Move Silently +8, Spellcraft +5, Spot +5, Survival +5, Swim +13
*Feats:*                Cleave, Combat Reflexes, Power Attack, Alertness (B), Great Fortitude (B), Improved Initiative (B), Iron Will (B)
*Challenge Rating:*     5
*Treasure:*             Standard
*Alignment:*            Chaotic Neutral
*Advancement:*          By Character Class
*Level Adjustment:*     +4

When approached by Talindra and offered ultimate power, the not King Komodo jumped at the offer.  At first all was well, but it's grown stale.  The Gawdess never lets him have  any fun, like starting wars or fights.  What good is power if you have to be responsible in its use?



*Were Komodo Dragon*

"So I've explained everything to his lordship, and alls well.  He just wants you to give the Church a shout out over the palantir and we'll cal it even."

"Sigh...okay lets meet this priest."

"That's no priest, that's a giant lizard."

"You're rude for a Gnome."

"You're talkative for a lizard."

"Lets get down to it: I want you to interview several of the temples worshipers and put out the good word.."

*Venom Use Limited to Non-Humanoids IF They're Smart*

"We aren't religious zealots."

"And we aren't evangelistic.  Sign on for super powers is the deal being offered.  It's kind of a pragmatic relationship."

"And by powers, you of course mean zoanthropy?"

"Of course."

*Worshiped For The Gawds Know What Reason*

"Where do we start?"

"Start with Big John.  He's a good lad."

----------


## Bhu

*Were Hippo*

Were Hippo is an Acquired or Inherited template that can be added to any humanoid or giant.  Talindra uses them as cheap muscle.  It's a surprisingly popular transformation.  Probably because they're consistently underestimated as fat and slow.  Hippos are not slow.  Hippos are unstoppable death machines.

*Size and Type:* Type doesnt change, but it does gain the Shapechanger subtype. Size in Hippo form, or in Hybrid form is Large. Size in humanoid or giant form is unchanged. 

*Hit Dice:* Same as the base creature plus 8d8.  To calculate total hit points, apply Constitution modifiers according to the score the zoanthrope has in each form. 

*Speed:* Gains a 30 foot Swim speed in Hippo and Hybrid forms.

*Armor Class:* The base creatures natural armor bonus increases by +2 in all forms. In hybrid and hippo form, the zoanthropes base natural armor bonus is +7. 

*Attacks:* Add the base attack bonus for the base animal (+6) to the base attack bonus for the base creature. The zoanthropes grapple bonus uses its attack bonus and modifiers for Strength and size depending on the zoanthropes form. 

*Damage:* Same as base creature in Humanoid form, same as Hippo in Hippo Form (Hippos have a Bite doing 2d6 + one and a half times Strength bonus), attacks in Hybrid Form are 2 Slam attacks doing 1d4 plus Strength and 1 Bite doing 2d6 plus 1/2 Strength.

*Special Attacks:* A zoanthrope retains the special attacks of the base creature or base animal, depending on which form it is using, and also gains the special attacks described below:

Curse of Zoanthropy(Su):  Any humanoid or giant hit by a natural zoanthropes bite attack in animal or hybrid form must succeed on a DC 15 Fortitude save or contract zoanthropy. If the victims size is not within one size category of the zoanthrope the victim cannot contract zoanthropy from that zoanthrope. Afflicted zoanthropes cannot pass on the curse of zoanthropy. 

Improved Grab (Ex): To use this ability, a Were Hippo must hit with its bite attack. It can then attempt to start a grapple as a free action without provoking an attack of opportunity. If it wins the grapple check, the Were Hippo establishes a hold on the opponent with its mouth. 

*Special Qualities:* A zoanthrope retains all the special qualities of the base creature and the base animal, and also gains those described below:

Alternate Form (Su):  A zoanthrope can assume the form of a specific animal (as indicated in its entry).  Changing to or from animal or hybrid form is a standard action.  A slain zoanthrope reverts to its humanoid form, although it remains dead. Separated body parts retain their animal form, however.  Afflicted zoanthropes find this ability difficult to control, but natural zoanthropes have full control over this power. 

Damage Reduction (Ex): An afflicted zoanthrope in animal or hybrid form has damage reduction 5/silver. A natural zoanthrope in animal or hybrid form has damage reduction 10/silver.

Hippo Empathy (Ex): In any form, zoanthropes can communicate and empathize with normal or dire animals of their animal form. This gives them a +4 racial bonus on checks when influencing the animals attitude and allows the communication of simple concepts and (if the animal is friendly) commands, such as "friend," "foe," "flee," and "attack." 

Low-light Vision (Ex): A zoanthrope has low-light vision in any form.

Scent (Ex): A zoanthrope has the scent ability in any form. 

Hold Breath (Ex): A Were Hippo can hold its breath for a number of rounds equal to 4 × its Constitution score before it risks drowning. 

*Saves:* Add the base save bonuses of the base animal (Fort+6, Dex +6, Wis +2) to the base save bonuses of the base creature. 

*Abilities:* Were Hippos gain +2 Wis. In Hippo and Hybrid Forms it gains +16 Str, +10 Con.

*Skills:* A Were Hippo gains (2+Int) skill points times 8 hit dice.  Class skills are Listen, Spot and Swim.  A Were Hippo has a +8 racial bonus on any Swim check to perform some special action or avoid a hazard. It can always choose to take 10 on a Swim check, even if distracted or endangered. It can use the run action while swimming, provided it swims in a straight line. A Were Hippo gains a +4 racial bonus on Hide checks when in the water. Further, a Were Hippo can lie in the water with only its eyes and nostrils showing, gaining a +10 cover bonus on Hide checks.

*Feats:* Gains Alertness, Endurance and Iron Will as Bonus Feats.

*Environment:* Any.

*Organization:* Solitary or pair, sometimes family (3-4), pack (6-10)

*Challenge Rating:* +2

*Treasure:* Unchanged.
*
Alignment:* Always Neutral.

*Advancement:* By Character Class.

*Level Adjustment:* +3 Afflicted (+4 Natural)

Example of creature using template here:

*Big John (Fighter 3/Were Hippo)*
                      Medium Humanoid (Human, Shapechanger)
*Hit Dice:*             3d10+6 plus 8d8+56 (114 hp)
*Initiative:*           +1
*Speed:*                30 ft. (6 squares)
*Armor Class:*          17 (+1 Dex, +2 Natural, +4 Chain Shirt), touch 11, flat-footed 16
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +9/+11
*Attack:*               Greatsword +11  melee (2d6+3)
*Full Attack:*          Greatsword +11/+6  melee (2d6+3)
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      ---
*Special Qualities:*    Alternate Form, Hippo Empathy, Low-light Vision, Scent
*Saves:*                Fort +10, Ref +7, Will +5
*Abilities:*            Str 15, Dex 13, Con 14, Int 8, Wis 12, Cha 10
*Skills:*               Climb +6, Intimidate +4, Jump +6, Listen +5, Spot +5, Swim +10
*Feats:*                Cleave, Power Attack, Alertness (B), Endurance (B), Great Cleave (B), Improved Bull Rush (B), Iron Will (B)
*Challenge Rating:*    5
*Treasure:*             Standard 
*Alignment:*            Neutral
*Advancement:*          By Character Class
*Level Adjustment:*     +4


*Big John (Hybrid Form)*
                      Medium Humanoid (Human, Shapechanger)
*Hit Dice:*             3d10+6 plus 8d8+56 (114 hp)
*Initiative:*           +1
*Speed:*                30 ft. (6 squares), Swim 30 ft.
*Armor Class:*          19 (-1 Size, +1 Dex, +9 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 18
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +9/+23
*Attack:*               Greatsword +18 melee (2d6+15) or Slam +18 melee (1d4+10)
*Full Attack:*          Greatsword +18/+13 melee (2d6+15) or 2 Slams +18 melee (1d4+10) and 1 Bite +13 melee (2d6+5)
*Space/Reach:*          10 ft./10 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Curse of Zoanthropy
*Special Qualities:*    Alternate Form, DR 10/Silver, Hippo Empathy, Low-light Vision, Scent, Hold Breath
*Saves:*                Fort +13, Ref +7, Will +5
*Abilities:*            Str 31, Dex 13, Con 24, Int 8, Wis 12, Cha 10
*Skills:*               Climb +6, Intimidate +4, Jump +6, Listen +5, Spot +5, Swim +10
*Feats:*                Cleave, Power Attack, Alertness (B), Endurance (B), Great Cleave (B), Improved Bull Rush (B), Iron Will (B)
*Challenge Rating:*     5
*Treasure:*             Standard 
*Alignment:*            Neutral
*Advancement:*          By Character Class
*Level Adjustment:*     +4


*Big John (Hippo Form)*
                      Medium Humanoid (Human, Shapechanger)
*Hit Dice:*             3d10+6 plus 8d8+56 (114 hp)
*Initiative:*           +1
*Speed:*                30 ft. (6 squares), Swim 30 ft.
*Armor Class:*          19 (-1 Size, +1 Dex, +9 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 18
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +9/+23
*Attack:*               Bite +18 melee (2d6+15)
*Full Attack:*          Bite +18 melee (2d6+15)
*Space/Reach:*          10 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Improved Grab, Curse of Zoanthropy
*Special Qualities:*    Alternate Form, DR 10/Silver, Hippo Empathy, Low-light Vision, Scent, Hold Breath
*Saves:*                Fort +13, Ref +7, Will +5
*Abilities:*            Str 31, Dex 13, Con 24, Int 8, Wis 12, Cha 10
*Skills:*               Climb +6, Intimidate +4, Jump +6, Listen +5, Spot +5, Swim +10
*Feats:*                Cleave, Power Attack, Alertness (B), Endurance (B), Great Cleave (B), Improved Bull Rush (B), Iron Will (B)
*Challenge Rating:*     5
*Treasure:*             Standard 
*Alignment:*            Neutral
*Advancement:*          By Character Class
*Level Adjustment:*     +4

Big John was teased relentlessly by the other Fighters about his weight.  Then one day a strange woman promised him he'd never be teased again if he took her hand.  Then she bit him and wished him luck.  So now he's a Zoanthrope, and employers are scared enough of him he had to take a job at the local temple to Talindra.  Which is okay by him.  She pays well.



*Were Hippo*

"Your name sir?"

"Everyone round here calls me Big John."

"Because you're in charge?"

"No because they're fat shamers."

"But aren't you a Zoanthrope?"

"I am now.  Boy you should see people go runnin' when I change."

*Responsible For More Deaths Than Any Other Zoanthrope*

"So how did you become a...er, what are you?"

"I'm a Were Hippo.  I got bit by a woman someday when I was down from being teased, and I woke up here."

"A woman bit you?"

"Yup.  And left me on the Church steps.  Been a guard ever since."

*Masters Of Watermelon Crushing*

"And you're okay with this?"

"Hells yeah.  The Church treats me and other people like me well.  Plus I'm as strong as a Giant now."

----------


## Bhu

*Were Wombat*

Were Wombat is an Acquired or Inherited template that can be added to any Small humanoid. In this case usually Gnomes and Halflings.  Both have a fondness for cuddly forest animals, and the Goddess of Zoanthropes found some of them agreeable to becoming one part time themselves.  They make pretty good tunnel fighters too.

*Size and Type:* Size and Type doesnt change, but it does gain the Shapechanger subtype.

*Hit Dice:* Same as the base creature plus 1d8.  To calculate total hit points, apply Constitution modifiers according to the score the zoanthrope has in each form. 

*Speed:* Land Speed is 30 ft. in Hybrid and Wombat Forms, Burrow Speed is 5 ft. in Hybrid and Wombat Forms.

*Armor Class:* Natural Armor Bonus is +2 in Humanoid form, +3 in Wombat or Hybrid forms.

*Attacks:* Use the humanoids BAB for all 3 forms.

*Damage:* Same as base creature in Humanoid form, same as Wombat in Wombat and Hybrid Forms (Wombats have 2 claw attacks doing 1d3 damage plus Strength bonus, and 1 Bite doing 1d3 + 1/2 Strength bonus).

*Special Attacks*: A zoanthrope retains the special attacks of the base creature or base animal, depending on which form it is using, and also gains the special attacks described below:

Curse of Zoanthropy(Su):  Any humanoid hit by a natural zoanthropes bite attack in animal or hybrid form must succeed on a DC 15 Fortitude save or contract zoanthropy. If the victims size is not within one size category of the zoanthrope the victim cannot contract zoanthropy from that zoanthrope. Afflicted zoanthropes cannot pass on the curse of zoanthropy. 

Tunnel Fighting (Ex): The Wombat's penalties for fighting in restricted spaces (see Underdark page 112) are lowered by an additional -2.

Trip (Ex): When making a Bull Rush as part of a Charge you do not take Size Penalties to the Opposed Check, and if successful you knock your opponent Prone as well.

*Special Qualities:* A zoanthrope retains all the special qualities of the base creature and the base animal, and also gains those described below:

Alternate Form (Su):  A zoanthrope can assume the form of a specific animal (as indicated in its entry).  Changing to or from animal or hybrid form is a standard action.  A slain zoanthrope reverts to its humanoid form, although it remains dead. Separated body parts retain their animal form, however.  Afflicted zoanthropes find this ability difficult to control, but natural zoanthropes have full control over this power.

Damage Reduction (Ex): An afflicted zoanthrope in animal or hybrid form has damage reduction 5/silver. A natural zoanthrope in animal or hybrid form has damage reduction 10/silver.

Wombat Empathy (Ex): In any form, zoanthropes can communicate and empathize with normal or dire animals of their animal form. This gives them a +4 racial bonus on checks when influencing the animals attitude and allows the communication of simple concepts and (if the animal is friendly) commands, such as "friend," "foe," "flee," and "attack."

Low-light Vision (Ex): A zoanthrope has low-light vision in any form.

Scent (Ex): A zoanthrope has the scent ability in any form. 

Speed Burst (Ex): If scared, or it wishes to leave, once per hour the Wombat may move up to ten times it's base Land Speed for 1 full round as long as it takes the Run action.

Armored Butt (Ex): Wombats have thick smooth hide on their behinds to prevent predators from pulling them from burrows. The Were Wombats  DR increases by +5 against attacks from the rear.  In this instance 'rear' is defined as the opposite of whichever direction the wombat is attacking.

*Saves:* Must be recalculated in Hybrid and Wombat forms due to stat changes, and gains a +2 Racial Bonus to Fort and Ref Saves.

*Abilities:* Were Wombats gain +2 Wis.  In Hybrid and Wombat Forms they gain +2 Str, +6 Dex and +4 Con.

*Skills:* Were Wombats gain a +4 Racial Bonus to Listen Checks. They gain (2+Int) Skill Points, Class Skills are Hide, Listen, Search, Spot Survival.

*Feats:* Gains Weapon Finesse and Iron Will as Bonus Feats.

*Environment:* Unchanged.

*Organization:* Unchanged.

*Challenge Rating:* +1

*Treasure:* Unchanged, usually Standard.

*Alignment:* Usually Neutral

*Advancement:* By Character Class.

*Level Adjustment:* +1 Afflicted (+2 Natural)


*Derf (Halfling Rogue 3/Were Wombat*
                      Small Humanoid (Halfling, Shapechanger) Halfling Form
*Hit Dice:*             3d6+6 plus 1d8+4 (25 hp)
*Initiative:*           +7
*Speed:*                20 ft. (4 squares)
*Armor Class:*          16 (+1 Size, +3 Dex, +2 Natural), touch 14, flat-footed 13
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +2/-2
*Attack:*               Dagger +6 melee (1d3)
*Full Attack:*          Dagger +6 melee (1d3)
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Sneak Attack +2d6
*Special Qualities:*    Alternate Form, Wombat Empathy, Low-light Vision, Scent, Trapfinding, Trap Sense +1, Evasion, Halfling traits
*Saves:*                Fort +6, Ref +9, Will +4
*Abilities:*            Str 11, Dex 17, Con 14, Int 12, Wis 12, Cha 10
*Skills:*               Balance +5, Bluff +5, Climb +5, Disable Device +5, Gather Information +5, Hide +9, Intimidate +5, Jump +5, Knowledge (Local) +3, Listen +5, Move Silently +5, Open Lock +5, Search +5, Sleight of Hand +5, Spot, +5 Survival +5, Tumble +5, Use Magic Device +5
*Feats:*                Combat Reflexes, Improved Initiative, Iron Will (B), Weapon Finesse (B)
*Challenge Rating:*     4
*Treasure:*             Standard
*Alignment:*            Neutral
*Advancement:*          By Character Class
*Level Adjustment:*     +2

*Derf (Halfling Rogue 3/Were Wombat*
                      Small Humanoid (Halfling, Shapechanger) Hybrid Form
*Hit Dice:*             3d6+6 plus 1d8+4 (25 hp)
*Initiative:*           +10
*Speed:*                30 ft. (6 squares), Burrow 5 ft.
*Armor Class:*          20 (+1 Size, +6 Dex, +3 Natural), touch 17, flat-footed 14
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +2/-1
*Attack:*               Claw +9 melee (1d3+1)
*Full Attack:*          2 Claws +9 melee (1d3+1) and 1 Bite +4 melee (1d3)
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Sneak Attack +2d6, Curse of Zoanthropy, Tunnel Fighting, Trip
*Special Qualities:*    Alternate Form, DR 10/Silver, Wombat Empathy, Low-light Vision, Scent, Trapfinding, Trap Sense +1, Evasion, Halfling traits, Speed Burst, Armored Butt
*Saves:*                Fort +8, Ref +12, Will +4
*Abilities:*            Str 13, Dex 23, Con 18, Int 12, Wis 12, Cha 10
*Skills:*               Balance +8, Bluff +5, Climb +6, Disable Device +5, Gather Information +5, Hide +12, Intimidate +5, Jump +6, Knowledge (Local) +3, Listen +7, Move Silently +8, Open Lock +8, Search +5, Sleight of Hand +8, Spot, +5 Survival +5, Tumble +8, Use Magic Device +5
*Feats:*                Combat Reflexes, Improved Initiative, Iron Will (B), Weapon Finesse (B)
*Challenge Rating:*     4
*Treasure:*             Standard
*Alignment:*            Neutral
*Advancement:*          By Character Class
*Level Adjustment:*     +2

*Derf (Halfling Rogue 3/Were Wombat*
                      Small Humanoid (Halfling, Shapechanger) Wombat Form
*Hit Dice:*             3d6+6 plus 1d8+4 (25 hp)
*Initiative:*           +10
*Speed:*                30 ft. (6 squares), Burrow 5 ft.
*Armor Class:*          20 (+1 Size, +6 Dex, +3 Natural), touch 17, flat-footed 14
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +2/-1
*Attack:*               Claw +9 melee (1d3+1)
*Full Attack:*          2 Claws +9 melee (1d3+1) and 1 Bite +4 melee (1d3)
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Sneak Attack +2d6, Curse of Zoanthropy, Tunnel Fighting, Trip
*Special Qualities:*    Alternate Form, DR 10/Silver, Wombat Empathy, Low-light Vision, Scent, Trapfinding, Trap Sense +1, Evasion, Halfling traits, Speed Burst, Armored Butt
*Saves:*                Fort +8, Ref +12, Will +4
*Abilities:*            Str 13, Dex 23, Con 18, Int 12, Wis 12, Cha 10
*Skills:*               Balance +8, Bluff +5, Climb +6, Disable Device +5, Gather Information +5, Hide +12, Intimidate +5, Jump +6, Knowledge (Local) +3, Listen +7, Move Silently +8, Open Lock +8, Search +5, Sleight of Hand +8, Spot, +5 Survival +5, Tumble +8, Use Magic Device +5
*Feats:*                Combat Reflexes, Improved Initiative, Iron Will (B), Weapon Finesse (B)
*Challenge Rating:*     4
*Treasure:*             Standard
*Alignment:*            Neutral
*Advancement:*          By Character Class
*Level Adjustment:*     +2

Poor Derf was your typical, happy go lucky Halfling.  One day he accidentally scared a Were Wombat, which promptly bit him, and ran away.  So now he has a newfound purpose with his abilities, and he guards the local Shire from brigands.



*Were Wombat*

"So you didn't choose to become a Zoanthrope?"

"No sir, but it's the best thing to happen to me.  I went from being a nobody to the local Sheriff."

"So you don't live here?"

"No, I'm just visiting and bringing a posse who want the same abilities I got."

"Can't you just bite them?"

"We're supposed to ask for permission."

*Adorable*

"So whoever bit you went rogue?"

"I accidentally scared them and they lashed out.  Perfectly understandable."

"And you don't mind your new body?"

"Nope.  If someone gives me trouble I turn on the cute and fuzzy, and all is well."

*Side effects Include Pooping In Cube Form*

"Are there any downsides?"

"Old women keep trying to make me their pet by offering me fruit."

----------


## Bhu

*Were Flamingo*

Were Flamingo is an Acquired or Inherited template that can be added to any humanoid.  Talindra willingly admits she was stone drunk when she made these, and she's lost as to what purpose they serve other than aerial reconnaissance.

*Size and Type:* Type doesnt change, but it does gain the Shapechanger subtype. Size is Small in Hybrid and Flamingo forms.  

*Hit Dice:* Same as the base creature plus 1d8.  To calculate total hit points, apply Constitution modifiers according to the score the zoanthrope has in each form. 

*Speed:* Land speed is unchanged, it gains a Flight Speed of 50 ft. (Average) in Hybrid and Flamingo Forms.

*Armor Class:* Natural Armor Bonus improves by +2 in all Forms.

*Attacks:* Use the humanoids BAB for all 3 forms (Grapple bonus will change due to Size penalties in Hybrid and Flamingo forms). 

*Damage:* Same as base creature in Humanoid form, same as Flamingo in Flamingo and Hybrid Forms (Flamingos have a Bite doing 1d3 plus Str Modifier).

*Special Attacks:* A zoanthrope retains the special attacks of the base creature or base animal, depending on which form it is using, and also gains the special attacks described below:

Curse of Zoanthropy(Su):  Any humanoid or giant hit by a natural zoanthropes bite attack in animal or hybrid form must succeed on a DC 15 Fortitude save or contract zoanthropy. If the victims size is not within one size category of the zoanthrope the victim cannot contract zoanthropy from that zoanthrope. Afflicted zoanthropes cannot pass on the curse of zoanthropy. 

Boiling Sneeze (Ex): When wading in the boiling salt pools in their native habitat, the flamingo has an additional defense.  As a Full Attack Action it can take a drink of the boiling water, and sneeze it at opponents.  This is a melee touch attack, and uses Dexterity to hit.  If successful the opponent takes 2d6 fire damage.

*Special Qualities:* A zoanthrope retains all the special qualities of the base creature and the base animal, and also gains those described below:

Alternate Form (Su):  A zoanthrope can assume the form of a specific animal (as indicated in its entry).  Changing to or from animal or hybrid form is a standard action.  A slain zoanthrope reverts to its humanoid form, although it remains dead. Separated body parts retain their animal form, however.  Afflicted zoanthropes find this ability difficult to control, but natural zoanthropes have full control over this power.

Damage Reduction (Ex): An afflicted zoanthrope in animal or hybrid form has damage reduction 5/silver. A natural zoanthrope in animal or hybrid form has damage reduction 10/silver.

Flamingo Empathy (Ex): In any form, zoanthropes can communicate and empathize with normal or dire animals of their animal form. This gives them a +4 racial bonus on checks when influencing the animals attitude and allows the communication of simple concepts and (if the animal is friendly) commands, such as "friend," "foe," "flee," and "attack."

Low-light Vision (Ex): A zoanthrope has low-light vision in any form.

Hold Breath (Ex): A Were Flamingo can hold its breath for a number of rounds equal to 4 × its Constitution score before it risks drowning. 

Water Resistance (Ex): Flamingos can submerge any part of themselves in boiling water, and thus have Fire Resistance 10 to such effects.  Actual fire still hurts them.

*Saves:* Must be recalculated in Hybrid and Flamingo forms due to stat changes, and gains a +2 Racial Bonus to Fort and Ref Saves.

*Abilities:* +2 Wis.  +4 Dex and +2 Con in Hybrid and Flamingo Forms.

*Skills:* Were Flamingos get a +4 Racial Bonus to Search and Spot Checks.  They also gain (2+Int) skill points, and their Class Skills are Listen, Search and Spot.

*Feats:* Gains Alertness and Iron Will as Bonus Feats.

*Environment:* Unchanged

*Organization:* Solitary, Pair, or Flock (15-50)
*
Challenge Rating:* +1

*Treasure:* Unchanged, usually Standard

*Alignment:* Usually Neutral

*Advancement:* By Character Class

*Level Adjustment:* +2 Afflicted (+3 Natural)


*Sassy (Elf Bard 3/Were Flamingo)* (Elf Form)
                      Medium Humanoid (Elf, Shapechanger)
*Hit Dice:*             3d6 plus 1d8+1 (16 hp)
*Initiative:*           +2
*Speed:*                30 ft. (6 squares)
*Armor Class:*          15 (+3 Dex, +2 Natural), touch 13, flat-footed 12
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +2/+1
*Attack:*               Dagger +1 melee (1d4-1)
*Full Attack:*          Dagger +1 melee (1d4-1)
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Bardic Music, Spells
*Special Qualities:*    Bardic Knowledge, Elf traits, Alternate Form, Flamingo Empathy, Low-light Vision
*Saves:*                Fort +3, Ref +8, Will +6
*Abilities:*            Str 8, Dex 16, Con 10, Int 13, Wis 12, Cha 16
*Skills:*               Balance +3, Bluff +5, Concentration +5, Diplomacy +5, Disguise +5, Gather Information +5, Hide +5, Knowledge (Arcana, Local) +3, Listen +6, Move Silently +5, Perform (Dance) +9, Search +4, Sense Motive +6, Sleight of Hand +3, Spellcraft +3, Spot +6, Swim +2, Tumble +3, Use Magic Device +6
*Feats:*                Eschew Materials, Silent Spell, Alertness (B), Iron Will (B)
*Challenge Rating:*     4
*Treasure:*             Standard
*Alignment:*            Neutral
*Advancement:*          By Character Class
*Level Adjustment:*     +3

*Sassy (Elf Bard 3/Were Flamingo)* (Hybrid Form)
                      Small Humanoid (Elf, Shapechanger)
*Hit Dice:*             3d6 plus 1d8+1 (16 hp)
*Initiative:*           +4
*Speed:*                30 ft. (6 squares), Fly 50 ft. (Average)
*Armor Class:*          18 (+1 Size, +5 Dex, +2 Natural), touch 16, flat-footed 13
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +2/-3
*Attack:*               Bite +1 melee (1d3-1)
*Full Attack:*          Bite +1 melee (1d3-1)
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Bardic Music, Spells, Curse of Zoanthropy, Boiling Sneeze
*Special Qualities:*    Bardic Knowledge, Elf traits, Alternate Form, DR 10/Silver, Flamingo Empathy, Low-light Vision, Hold Breath, Water Resistance
*Saves:*                Fort +4, Ref +10, Will +6
*Abilities:*            Str 8, Dex 20, Con 12, Int 13, Wis 12, Cha 16
*Skills:*               Balance +5, Bluff +5, Concentration +6, Diplomacy +5, Disguise +5, Gather Information +5, Hide +11, Knowledge (Arcana, Local) +3, Listen +6, Move Silently +7, Perform (Dance) +9, Search +8, Sense Motive +6, Sleight of Hand +5, Spellcraft +3, Spot +10, Swim +2, Tumble +5, Use Magic Device +6
*Feats:*                Eschew Materials, Silent Spell, Alertness (B), Iron Will (B)
*Challenge Rating:*     4
*Treasure:*             Standard
*Alignment:*            Neutral
*Advancement:*          By Character Class
*Level Adjustment:*     +3


*Sassy (Elf Bard 3/Were Flamingo)* (Flamingo Form)
                      Small Humanoid (Elf, Shapechanger)
*Hit Dice:*             3d6 plus 1d8+1 (16 hp)
*Initiative:*           +4
*Speed:*                30 ft. (6 squares), Fly 50 ft. (Average)
*Armor Class:*          18 (+1 Size, +5 Dex, +2 Natural), touch 16, flat-footed 13
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +2/-3
*Attack:*               Bite +1 melee (1d3-1)
*Full Attack:*          Bite +1 melee (1d3-1)
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Bardic Music, Spells, Curse of Zoanthropy, Boiling Sneeze
*Special Qualities:*    Bardic Knowledge, Elf traits, Alternate Form, DR 10/Silver, Flamingo Empathy, Low-light Vision, Hold Breath, Water Resistance
*Saves:*                Fort +4, Ref +10, Will +6
*Abilities:*            Str 8, Dex 18, Con 12, Int 13, Wis 12, Cha 16
*Skills:*               Balance +5, Bluff +5, Concentration +6, Diplomacy +5, Disguise +5, Gather Information +5, Hide +11, Knowledge (Arcana, Local) +3, Listen +6, Move Silently +7, Perform (Dance) +9, Search +8, Sense Motive +6, Sleight of Hand +5, Spellcraft +3, Spot +10, Swim +2, Tumble +5, Use Magic Device +6
*Feats:*                Eschew Materials, Silent Spell, Alertness (B), Iron Will (B)
*Challenge Rating:*     4
*Treasure:*             Standard
*Alignment:*            Neutral
*Advancement:*          By Character Class
*Level Adjustment:*     +3

Sassy was just an average Bard, shakin' that thing through the night.  And then a drunken Gawdess fell from the sky, turned her into a bird, and vomited on the guitarist.  She's found adjusting to her new life a little odd.




*Were Flamingo*

"So you were turned by the Gawdess when she was on a three week bender?"

"Yes.  It took her a bit to come to terms with Ascension."

"How have you been treated since then?"

"The novelty of my condition gets me lots of gigs.  I can't complain."

"Anything our viewers should know about being a Were Flamingo?"

"You have some odd abilities.  I can sit in boiling water.  I can also sneeze it from my eyes."

*Flamingos Are Weirder Than You Think*

"What?"

"Yeah, it weirded me out too"

"Anything else you can do?"

"Have you heard of blood milk?"

*A Little Too Weird*

"No."

"Best I not get into it then."

----------


## Bhu

*Were Pink Fairy Armadillo*

Created by the Goddess of Zoanthropes in her ever growing legion of spies and oddities, Were Pink Fairy Armadillos are odd to say the least.  For the most part they are used in areas with the dry, sandy soil that allows them to be the most efficient.  To be honest, no one pays them much attention as long as they stay out of peoples gardens.  Which says a lot about the locals.

Were Pink Fairy Armadillo is an Acquired or Inherited template that can be added to any small humanoid. 

*Size and Type:* Type doesnt change, but it does gain the Shapechanger subtype. Size in Pink Fairy Armadillo form is Fine, Size in Hybrid form is Tiny.  Size in humanoid form is unchanged.

*Hit Dice:* Unchanged.

*Speed:* Land Speed is 20 ft. in Hybrid Form, and 5 ft. in Armadillo Form.  Burrow Speed is 20 ft. in Hybrid Form, and 5 ft. in Armadillo Form.

*Armor Class:* Natural Armor Bonus increases by +4 in Hybrid Form, and +2 in Humanoid and Armadillo Forms.

*Attacks:* Use the humanoids BAB for all 3 forms (Grapple bonus will change due to Size penalties in Hybrid and Pink Fairy forms).  

*Damage:* Same as base creature in Humanoid form, same as Pink Fairy in Armadillo Form (Pink Fairy Armadillos have 2 claw attacks doing 1 point of damage plus Strength bonus, and 1 Bite doing 1 point + 1/2 Strength bonus), claw attacks are 1d4 plus Strength bonus in Hybrid form (bite is 1d3 plus half Str Bonus).

*Special Attacks:* A zoanthrope retains the special attacks of the base creature or base animal, depending on which form it is using, and also gains the special attacks described below:

Curse of Zoanthropy(Su):  Any humanoid or giant hit by a natural zoanthropes bite attack in animal or hybrid form must succeed on a DC 15 Fortitude save or contract zoanthropy. If the victims size is not within one size category of the zoanthrope the victim cannot contract zoanthropy from that zoanthrope. Afflicted zoanthropes cannot pass on the curse of zoanthropy. 

*Special Qualities:* A zoanthrope retains all the special qualities of the base creature and the base animal, and also gains those described below:

Alternate Form (Su):  A zoanthrope can assume the form of a specific animal (as indicated in its entry).  Changing to or from animal or hybrid form is a standard action.  A slain zoanthrope reverts to its humanoid form, although it remains dead. Separated body parts retain their animal form, however.  Afflicted zoanthropes find this ability difficult to control, but natural zoanthropes have full control over this power.

Damage Reduction (Ex): An afflicted zoanthrope in animal or hybrid form has damage reduction 5/silver. A natural zoanthrope in animal or hybrid form has damage reduction 10/silver.

Armadillo Empathy (Ex): In any form, zoanthropes can communicate and empathize with normal or dire animals of their animal form. This gives them a +4 racial bonus on checks when influencing the animals attitude and allows the communication of simple concepts and (if the animal is friendly) commands, such as "friend," "foe," "flee," and "attack."

Low-light Vision (Ex): A zoanthrope has low-light vision in any form.

Scent (Ex): A zoanthrope has the scent ability in any form. 

Sandswimmer (Su): A Were Armadillo can sandswim through sand, ash, dust or slipsand at his land speed while wearing light armor or carrying a light load. His speed drops to 5 feet if he wears heavier armor or carries a medium load. He cannot make any headway through the sand while carrying a heavy load.  A Were Armadillo breathes normally while under the sands.  This supernatural ability doesnt allow him to breath in mediums other than sand, dust, or ash, nor does it allow Him to hold its breath longer than normal in water or dangerous gases.  It can only do this in Hybrid or Armadillo forms.

*Saves:* Must be recalculated in Hybrid and Armadillo forms due to stat changes, and gains a +2 Racial Bonus to Fort and Ref Saves.

*Abilities:* Were Armadillo gain +2 Wis. Physical Stats in Armadillo Form are Str drops to 1.  Physical Stats in Hybrid Form are -2 Strength. Both Armadillo and Hybrid Form gain +4 Dex.

*Skills:* Were Armadillos gain a +4 Racial Bonus to Listen and Search Checks in Hybrid and Armadillo Forms.

*Feats:* You gain Iron Will and Sand Camouflage as Bonus Feats (see Sandstorm).

*Environment:* Unchanged.

*Organization:* Unchanged, usually solitary.

*Challenge Rating:* +1

*Treasure:* Unchanged, usually Standard.

*Alignment:* Usually Neutral with some tendencies towards Chaos.

*Advancement:* By character class.

*Level Adjustment:* +3 Afflicted (+4 Natural)


*Tinwhistle (Gnome Expert 2/Were Pink Fairy Armadillo)* Gnome Form
                      Small Humanoid (Gnome, Shapechanger)
*Hit Dice:*             2d6+6 (13 hp)
*Initiative:*           +2
*Speed:*                20 ft. (4 squares)
*Armor Class:*          15 (+1 Size, +2 Dex, +2 Natural), touch 13, flat-footed 13
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +1/-5
*Attack:*               Club +4 melee (1d4-2)
*Full Attack:*          Club +4 melee (1d4-2)
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      ---
*Special Qualities:*    Alternate Form, Armadillo Empathy, Low-light Vision, Gnome traits, Scent
*Saves:*                Fort +3, Ref +2, Will +7
*Abilities:*            Str 6, Dex 15, Con 16, Int 12, Wis 15, Cha 10
*Skills:*               Appraise +3, Bluff +2, Craft (any 2) +3, Diplomacy +2, Disable Device +3, Escape Artist +3, Gather Information +3, Handle Animal +3, Hide +6, Knowledge (Geography, Local, Nature) +3, Listen +4, Move Silently +3, Open Lock +3, Profession (Farmer) +3, Ride +3, Search +3, Sense Motive +3, Sleight of Hand +3, Spot +3, Survival +3
*Feats:*                Weapon Finesse, Iron Will (B), Sand Camouflage (B)
*Challenge Rating:*     3
*Treasure:*             Standard
*Alignment:*            Chaotic Neutral
*Advancement:*          By Character Class
*Level Adjustment:*     +2

*Tinwhistle (Gnome Expert 2/Were Pink Fairy Armadillo)* Hybrid Form
                      Tiny Humanoid (Gnome, Shapechanger)
*Hit Dice:*             2d6+6 (13 hp)
*Initiative:*           +2
*Speed:*                20 ft. (4 squares), Burrow 20 ft.
*Armor Class:*          20 (+2 Size, +4 Dex, +4 Natural), touch 16, flat-footed 16
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +1/-10
*Attack:*               Claw +7 melee (1d4-3)
*Full Attack:*          2 Claws +7 melee (1d4-3) and 1 Bite +2 melee (1d3-3)
*Space/Reach:*          2 1/2 ft./0 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Curse of Zoanthropy
*Special Qualities:*    Alternate Form, Armadillo Empathy, Low-light Vision, Gnome traits, Scent, DR 10/Silver, Sandswimmer
*Saves:*                Fort +3, Ref +4, Will +7
*Abilities:*            Str 4, Dex 19, Con 16, Int 12, Wis 15, Cha 10
*Skills:*               Appraise +3, Bluff +2, Craft (any 2) +3, Diplomacy +2, Disable Device +3, Escape Artist +5, Gather Information +3, Handle Animal +3, Hide +12, Knowledge (Geography, Local, Nature) +3, Listen +6, Move Silently +5, Open Lock +5, Profession (Farmer) +3, Ride +5, Search +7, Sense Motive +3, Sleight of Hand +5, Spot +3, Survival +3
*Feats:*                Weapon Finesse, Iron Will (B), Sand Camouflage (B)
*Challenge Rating:*     3
*Treasure:*             Standard
*Alignment:*            Chaotic Neutral
*Advancement:*          By Character Class
*Level Adjustment:*     +2

*Tinwhistle (Gnome Expert 2/Were Pink Fairy Armadillo)* Armadillo Form
                      Fine Humanoid (Gnome, Shapechanger)
*Hit Dice:*             2d6+6 (13 hp)
*Initiative:*           +2
*Speed:*                5 ft. (1 squares), Burrow 20 ft.
*Armor Class:*          24 (+8 Size, +4 Dex, +2 Natural), touch 22, flat-footed 20
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +1/-20
*Attack:*               Claw +13 melee (1 point)
*Full Attack:*          2 Claws +13 melee (1 point) and 1 Bite +8 melee (1 point)
*Space/Reach:*          1 ft./0 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Curse of Zoanthropy
*Special Qualities:*    Alternate Form, Armadillo Empathy, Low-light Vision, Gnome traits, Scent, DR 10/Silver, Sandswimmer
*Saves:*                Fort +3, Ref +4, Will +7
*Abilities:*            Str 1, Dex 19, Con 16, Int 12, Wis 15, Cha 10
*Skills:*               Appraise +3, Bluff +2, Craft (any 2) +3, Diplomacy +2, Disable Device +3, Escape Artist +5, Gather Information +3, Handle Animal +3, Hide +20, Knowledge (Geography, Local, Nature) +3, Listen +6, Move Silently +5, Open Lock +5, Profession (Farmer) +3, Ride +5, Search +7, Sense Motive +3, Sleight of Hand +5, Spot +3, Survival +3
*Feats:*                Weapon Finesse, Iron Will (B), Sand Camouflage (B)
*Challenge Rating:*     3
*Treasure:*             Standard
*Alignment:*            Chaotic Neutral
*Advancement:*          By Character Class
*Level Adjustment:*     +2

Tinwhistle was a simple cactus farmer till the Wasteland Trolls wiped out his homestead.  He awoke from hiding, wounded and starving.  His silent prayer was answered by Talindra, who made him a Zoanthrope.  He's still no match for the trolls, but escaping them is much easier.



*Were Pink Fairy Armadillo*

"Your name, good sir?"

"Ah'm Tinwhistle.  Ah'm a farmer.  Least I was till the Trolls wiped me out."

"And how has the Church helped you?"

"Ah'm much better at hidin' from Trolls now, and I pay for some Were Hippos to guard the new farm."

"Anything our viewers should know about being a Were Armadillo?"

"Yer gonna eat a lotta bugs when burrowing, but it helps the crops."

*Tiny Tanks*

"What?"

"It's hard to see underground."

"So what do you grow?"

"Cactus.  I sell cactus whiiskey for the Church."

*You Have To Be A Bit Weird To Want This*

"Is that popular?"

"It'll gitcha drunk!"

----------


## Bhu

*Were Otters*

Were Otter is an Acquired or Inherited Template that can be applied to any Humanoid.  Were Otters are minions of the Goddess of Zoanthropes, as are most weres.   Since Otters are playful, and people seem to adore them, she thought they'd make perfect nautical spies.  She was right.  Unfortunately their preferences for water don't make them wide ranging spies.  But since city ports are where much activity and business happens, they are still quite useful.  And Otters are soft fuzzy critters.  People find it hard to kill soft fuzzy critters.

*Size and Type:* Type remains the same, and the Base Creature gains the Shapechanger Subtype.  Size in Otter form is Small, Size in Hybrid form is Small. Size in humanoid form is unchanged.

*Hit Dice*: Same as the base creature plus 1d8.  To calculate total hit points, apply Constitution modifiers according to the score the zoanthrope has in each form. 

*Speed*: Land speed is 20 in Hybrid and Otter forms, otherwise unchanged. May not use any alternate movement forms the humanoid form possesses in the Otter or Hybrid Forms.  All 3 forms have a Swim speed of 30 feet (unless they have a higher racial Swim Speed).

*Armor Class*: Use the humanoid forms Natural Armor bonus for all 3 forms. Natural Armor bonus increases by +1.

*Attacks*: Use the humanoids BAB for all 3 forms (Grapple bonus will change due to Size penalties in Hybrid and Otter forms). 

*Damage*: The Hybrid and Otter Forms have a Bite attack that does 1d3 damage (1d4 in Hybrid Form) plus one and a half times Strength Modifier.

*Special Attacks*: A zoanthrope retains the special attacks of the base creature or base animal, depending on which form it is using, and also gains the special attacks described below:

Curse of Zoanthropy(Su):  Any humanoid or giant hit by a natural zoanthropes bite attack in animal or hybrid form must succeed on a DC 15 Fortitude save or contract zoanthropy. If the victims size is not within one size category of the zoanthrope the victim cannot contract zoanthropy from that zoanthrope. Afflicted zoanthropes cannot pass on the curse of zoanthropy. 

*Special Qualities*: A zoanthrope retains all the special qualities of the base creature and the base animal, and also gains those described below:

Alternate Form (Su):  A zoanthrope can assume the form of a specific animal (as indicated in its entry).  Changing to or from animal or hybrid form is a standard action.  A slain zoanthrope reverts to its humanoid form, although it remains dead. Separated body parts retain their animal form, however.  Afflicted zoanthropes find this ability difficult to control, but natural zoanthropes have full control over this power.

Damage Reduction (Ex): An afflicted zoanthrope in animal or hybrid form has damage reduction 5/silver. A natural zoanthrope in animal or hybrid form has damage reduction 10/silver.

Otter Empathy (Ex): In any form, zoanthropes can communicate and empathize with normal or dire animals of their animal form. This gives them a +4 racial bonus on checks when influencing the animals attitude and allows the communication of simple concepts and (if the animal is friendly) commands, such as "friend," "foe," "flee," and "attack."

Low-light Vision (Ex): A zoanthrope has low-light vision in any form.

Scent (Ex): A zoanthrope has the scent ability in any form.

Hold Breath (Ex): A Were Otter can hold its breath for a number of rounds equal to 4 × its Constitution score before it risks drowning. 

*Saves*: Increase Base creatures Fortitude and Reflex Saves by +2.

*Abilities:* Were Otters gain +2 Wis. Physical Stats in Otter and Hybrid Forms are -2 Str, +4 Dex, +2 Cha. 

*Skills*: Were Otters gain a +8 Racial Bonus on Swim Checks, and may Always Take 10 on a Swim Check.  They can use the Run Action while swimming in a straight line.  They also gain a +4 Racial Bonus on Balance, luff, Climb, Hide, Move Silently and Perform Checks, and may use their Strength or Dexterity Modifier for Climb Checks, whichever is better. Skill bonuses are in Otter and Hybrid forms only.  It gains (Int+2) skill points, Class Skills are Balance, Bluff, Climb, Hide, Listen, Move Silently, Perform, Spot and Swim.

*Feats*: Gains Weapon Finesse and Iron Will as Bonus Feats.

*Environment:* Unchanged, but Were Otters prefer to move near water.

*Organization:* Solitary (Unchanged if there are enough other Were Otters about, or in squads of 5-10 if working for the Lycanthrope Goddess). 

*Challenge Rating*: +1

*Treasure:* Unchanged.

*Alignment*: Usually Neutral with some tendencies towards Chaos.

*Advancement:* Unchanged, usually by Character Class

*Level Adjustment*: +1 Afflicted (+2 Natural)


Example of creature using template here:

*Piggie Faced Bob* (Human Form)
                      Medium Humanoid (Human, Shapechanger) Expert 1
*Hit Dice:*             1d6+1 (4 hp)
*Initiative:*           +1
*Speed:*                30 ft. (6 squares), Swim 30 ft.
*Armor Class:*          12 (+1 Dex, +1 Natural), touch 11, flat-footed 11
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +0/+2
*Attack:*               Club +2 melee (1d6+2)
*Full Attack:*          Club +2 melee (1d6+2)
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      ---
*Special Qualities:*    Alter Form, Low Light Vision, Scent, Otter Empathy
*Saves:*                Fort +1, Ref +1, Will +5
*Abilities:*            Str 14, Dex 13, Con 12, Int 10, Wis 17, Cha 8
*Skills:*               Balance +5, luff +3, Climb +6, Hide +5, Knowledge (Local, Nature) +3, Listen +5, Move Silently +5, Perform +3, Profession (Fisherman, Sailor) +4, Spot +5, Swim +10
*Feats:*              Alertness, Iron Will (B), Weapon Finesse (B)
*Challenge Rating:*     2
*Alignment:*            Neutral
*Advancement:*          By Character Class
*Level Adjustment:*     +2


*Piggie Faced Bob* (Hybrid Form)
                      Small Humanoid (Human, Shapechanger) Commoner 1
*Hit Dice:*             1d6+1 (4 hp)
*Initiative:* 
*Speed:*                20 ft. (4 squares), Swim 20 ft.
*Armor Class:*          15 (+1 Size, +3 Dex, +1 Natural), touch 14, flat-footed 12
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +0/-4
*Attack:*               Bite +4 melee (1d4+1)
*Full Attack:*          Bite +4 melee (1d4+1)
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Curse of Zoanthropy
*Special Qualities:*    Alter Form, Low Light Vision, Hold Breath, Scent, Otter Empathy, DR 10/Silver
*Saves:*                Fort +1, Ref +3, Will +5
*Abilities:*            Str 12, Dex 17, Con 12, Int 10, Wis 17, Cha 10
*Skills:*               Balance +7, Bluff +4, Climb +7, Hide +11, Knowledge (Local, Nature) +3, Listen +5, Move Silently +7, Perform +4, Profession (Fisherman, Sailor) +4, Spot +5, Swim +9
*Feats:*              Alertness, Iron Will (B), Weapon Finesse (B)
*Challenge Rating:*    2
*Alignment:*            Neutral
*Advancement:*          By Character Class
*Level Adjustment:*   +2


*Piggie Faced Bob* (Otter Form)
                      Small Humanoid (Human, Shapechanger) Expert 1
*Hit Dice:*             1d6+1 (4 hp)
*Initiative:*           +5
*Speed:*                20 ft. (4 squares), Swim 20 ft.
*Armor Class:*          15 (+1 Size, +3 Dex, +1 Natural), touch 14, flat-footed 12
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +0/-10
*Attack:*               Bite +4 melee (1d3+1)
*Full Attack:*          Bite +4 melee (1d3+1)
*Space/Reach:*          2 1/2 ft./0 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Curse of Zoanthropy
*Special Qualities:*    Alter Form, Low Light Vision, Hold Breath, Scent, Otter Empathy, DR 10/Silver
*Saves:*                Fort +1, Ref +3, Will +5
*Abilities:*            Str 12, Dex 17, Con 12, Int 10, Wis 17, Cha 10
*Skills:*              Balance +7, luff +4, Climb +7, Hide +11, Knowledge (Local, Nature) +3, Listen +5, Move Silently +7, Perform +4, Profession (Fisherman, Sailor) +4, Spot +5, Swim +9
*Feats:*                Alertness, Iron Will (B), Weapon Finesse (B)
*Challenge Rating:*   2
*Alignment:*            Neutral
*Advancement:*          By Character Class
*Level Adjustment:*    +2

Piggie Faced Bob is a local fisherman and sailor.  Hanging out fishing by the docks it was inevitable he'd end up becoming a Were Otter.  Guess they felt it was payment for all the free fish he gives them.



*Were Otter*

"So you became a Were Otter because the Otters liked you?"

"Yup."

"And that's all there is to it?"

"Yup."

"What do you do now?"

"I'm still a fisherman."

*Alternative Cats*

"And you do side jobs or the Church?"

"Yup, they been good to me"

"Any changes in your life?"

"I get to play with the critters more."

*Unexpectedly Savage*

"Is there any advice you'd like to give our viewers?"

"Otters can be mean, don't tease them."

----------


## Metastachydium

> As some of you may know, this week was hell for me, so I apologize in advance for any typos.  I'll correct them during the week assuming things stay sane.


Yeah, I've seen that & no worries. On topic: I like these!




> *Were Porcupine*


Were Porcupine is an Acquired or Inherited template that can be added to any Small humanoid. In this case the smaller Humanoid races that are less kind than Gnomes and Halflings.  Or that are more paranoid.[/QUOTE]

Is this a mechanical restriction or just fluff?




> *Attacks:* Use the humanoids BAB for all 3 forms.


This I'm not sure I understand (and it pops up for all +1d8 HD templates). Is the extra HD normal animal HD and is its BAB lost?




> Alternate Form (Su):  A zoanthrope can assume the form of a specific animal (as indicated in its entry).  Changing to or from animal or hybrid form is a standard action.  A slain zoanthrope reverts to its humanoid form, although it remains dead. Separated body parts retain their animal form, however.  Afflicted zoanthropes find this ability difficult to control, but natural zoanthropes have full control over this power.


How's that work for afflicted? The same Control Shape stuff as with lycanthropes? What triggers involuntary shapechanging if so?




> Quills (Ex): Instead of it's normal attacks the Porcupine may whack it's opponent with it's body, potentially impaling it with quills as a Standard Action.  Opponents who attack it also risk harming themselves if they attack it with a Grapple, Natural Weapon or Unarmed Strike (they must make a Reflex Save to not be quilled, Save DC is 10 plus 1/2 Hit Dice plus opponents Str Modifier.  Minimum of +1 if opponent has a low Str).  As an attack the quills do 1d6 plus your Str Modifier, if your opponent was quilled because he was foolish enough to attack you bare-handed it does 1d6 plus _his_ Str modifier.  Once quilled an opponent takes a -1 Circumstance Penalty to attack rolls, Saving Throws, and Skill Checks until the quills are removed.  This penalty increases by 1 each time he is successfully quilled again with no theoretical upper limit.  In addition he takes an additional 1d2 damage per Minute until the quills are removed.  There are two ways to remove quills: A Str or Heal Check (DC is 10 plus 1/2 your HD plus your Constitution Modifier).  One successful Check is necessary to reduce the Penalty by -1, and once it reaches 0 all the quills are removed.  The victim takes 1d4 damage per Str Check, whether it is successful or not.   He only takes damage on a Heal Check if it is unsuccessful.


DCs based on the _opponent's_ stats? Stronger folks hit themselves harder? Unusual, but I like it.




> *Saves:* Must be recalculated in Hybrid and Wombat forms due to stat changes, and gains a +2 Racial Bonus to Fort and Will Saves.


You left a reference to wombats in there.




> *Skills*


Those are for the extra RHD only, right?




> *Level Adjustment:* +3


This is a question regarding all zoanthrope LAs: doesn't the natural/afflicted divide warrant a variable LA? I suppose that might depend on how bad Alternate Form restrictions are for afflicted, but I suspect that might be the case.




> *Were Hippo*
> 
> Were Hippo is an Acquired or Inherited template that can be added to any humanoid or giant.  Talindra uses them as cheap muscle.  It's a surprisingly popular transformation.  Probably because they're consistently underestimated as fat and slow.  Hippos are not slow.  Hippos are unstoppable death machines.
> 
> *Size and Type:* Type doesnt change, but it does gain the Shapechanger subtype. Size in Hippo form, or in Hybrid form is Large. Size in humanoid form is unchanged.


Hm. How about size for Giants? And can they take this regardless of size? I think there's at least one Colossal Giant, but they sure go as big as Gargantuan with some regularity.




> *Were Wombat*
> 
> ()
> 
> Armored Butt (Ex): Wombats have thick smooth hide on their behinds to prevent predators from pulling them from burrows. The Were Wombats  DR increases by +5 against attacks from the rear.


How does one adjudicate where the rear of a creture is? Does the werewombat designate a square? Does that come with drawbacks (e.g. it cannot attack/sense opponents behind itself)?




> *Were Flamingo*
> 
> Were Flamingo is an Acquired or Inherited template that can be added to any humanoid.  Talindra willingly admits she was stone drunk when she made these, and she's lost as to what purpose they serve other than aerial reconnaissance.


This is one neat birdy! That's reason enough for one to exist!




> Boiling Sneeze (Ex): When wading in the boiling salt pools in their native habitat, the flamingo has an additional defense.  As a Full Attack Action it can take a drink of the boiling water, and sneeze it at opponents.  This is a melee touch attack, and uses Dexterity to hit.  If successful the opponent takes 2d6 fire damage.


That's an environment-dependent ability like, say, mephit fast healing, right? That's Not ideal.




> *Were Pink Fairy Armadillo*


Cute.




> *Level Adjustment:* +2


A _20' burrow speed_, Tiny _and_ Fine size in addition to a more conventionally practical Small are rare and valuable abilities for Humanoids. I'd consider raising the LA.




> *Were Otters*
> 
> Were Otter is an Acquired or Inherited Template that can be applied to any Humanoid.  Were Otters are minions of the Goddess of Zoanthropes, as are most weres.   Since Otters are playful, and people seem to adore them, she thought they'd make perfect nautical spies.  She was right.  Unfortunately their preferences for water don't make them wide ranging spies.  But since city ports are where much activity and business happens, they are still quite useful.  And Otters are soft fuzzy critters.  People find it hard to kill soft fuzzy critters.


This one's a tad lean on unique benefits when compared to the others and some boost to CHA-based skills at least would work well with that fluff.

----------


## Bhu

> Yeah, I've seen that & no worries. On topic: I like these!
> 
> 
> Is this a mechanical restriction or just fluff?


  It's floof





> This I'm not sure I understand (and it pops up for all +1d8 HD templates). Is the extra HD normal animal HD and is its BAB lost?


  It is animal HD, which means the BAB gained frm it is +0, so it won't change from the humanoid's BAB.  I may need to re-word that so it's not so wonky.




> How's that work for afflicted? The same Control Shape stuff as with lycanthropes? What triggers involuntary shapechanging if so?


  There's a section for that in the MM.  I didn't repeat it cause it may not be ogl, but I can edit in the page number where it can be found.




> DCs based on the _opponent's_ stats? Stronger folks hit themselves harder? Unusual, but I like it.


  The harder you punch the quills, the worse your day gets!





> Those are for the extra RHD only, right?


  yup

----------


## Bhu

> Hm. How about size for Giants? And can they take this regardless of size? I think there's at least one Colossal Giant, but they sure go as big as Gargantuan with some regularity.


 Size in giant form is unchanged (you have to be within 1 size category to be a zoanthrope of a particular critter.  Usually.).




> This is a question regarding all zoanthrope LAs: doesn't the natural/afflicted divide warrant a variable LA? I suppose that might depend on how bad Alternate Form restrictions are for afflicted, but I suspect that might be the case.


  I'll fix that (along with the other stuff).




> How does one adjudicate where the rear of a creture is? Does the werewombat designate a square? Does that come with drawbacks (e.g. it cannot attack/sense opponents behind itself)?


  Not easily given D&D doesn't include facing.  I always just house rule "whatever direction your attacks go in melee, the opposite of that is behind you."





> That's an environment-dependent ability like, say, mephit fast healing, right? That's Not ideal.


 Maybe find a way to get a caster to always have boiling water on hand somehow?




> A _20' burrow speed_, Tiny _and_ Fine size in addition to a more conventionally practical Small are rare and valuable abilities for Humanoids. I'd consider raising the LA.


 4 sound ok?






> This one's a tad lean on unique benefits when compared to the others and some boost to CHA-based skills at least would work well with that fluff.


  Lemme think of something

----------


## Metastachydium

> Size in giant form is unchanged (you have to be within 1 size category to be a zoanthrope of a particular critter.  Usually.


Including this particular case, then?




> Not easily given D&D doesn't include facing.  I always just house rule "whatever direction your attacks go in melee, the opposite of that is behind you."


Makes sense. You should probably add that definition to Armoured Butt so that it's clear.




> Maybe find a way to get a caster to always have boiling water on hand somehow?


That's an option, but it's still somewhat situational.




> 4 sound ok?


4 sounds OK.

----------


## Bhu

> Including this particular case, then?


Probably.  A few of these violate the rules for lycanthropy due to their "a god did it" origin, s you could make a case either way.  99% of Giants are large or huge tho.




> Makes sense. You should probably add that definition to Armoured Butt so that it's clear.


I will shortly.

For the otter: how about instead of a bite they can choose to curse others within 60 feet?

----------


## Metastachydium

> There's a section for that in the MM.  I didn't repeat it cause it may not be ogl, but I can edit in the page number where it can be found.


Luckily, Lycanthropy as an Affliction and Control Shape are both very much OGL!




> Probably.  A few of these violate the rules for lycanthropy due to their "a god did it" origin, s you could make a case either way.  99% of Giants are large or huge tho.


But a general "assume it works like lycanthropy unless specified otherwise" note would do the job without copying long swathes of text over.




> For the otter: how about instead of a bite they can choose to curse others within 60 feet?


Interesting, but I'm not sure it's particularly thematic.

----------


## Bhu

Perhps give the otters some magical capacity for mischief?

----------


## Metastachydium

> Perhps give the otters some magical capacity for mischief?


I like the idea! (Maybe you can even add a note that doing mischief never results in circumstance penalties on Charisma-based checks for them to give "people think they are cute" a mechanical expression that is not particularly impactful, but there?)

----------


## Bhu

Sometimes the gods have a particularly odd sense of humor. Or perhaps they like to get drunk or stoned. In any event they seem to be responsible for cursing the occasional animal with Were-humanism. Under the light of the full moon these poor creatures become humanoids. This is not a pleasant experience for them, as slowly over the period of a month they become fully intelligent. But even though they have intelligence that doesn't immediately help them. Fish in the middle of the ocean or birds who are flying at a great height....usually don't enjoy their first transformation. Or survive it. Even animals that do survive the wilderness and learn to control their transformation over time have problems when discovered by people. They're naked, cant talk, and act like animals. Which means people think they are cursed (which is true) and find someone to dispel the curse (turning the Were Human into a normal, unintelligent animal again), burn them as witches in some sort of misunderstanding, or take them in and try to teach them to be people "again". This rarely works out well as the Were Human still has certain atavistic responses. Spiders are still tempted to eat their mates after um..mating. Sharks still investigate new things by biting them. Squirrels are obsessed with hoarding nuts. You get the idea.  Thankfully the Gawdess of Zoanthropes (Talindra) has taken to adopting them.


*Creating a Were Human*

Were Human is an Acquired or Inherited template that can be added to any Animal or Vermin. 

*Size and Type:* The base creatures type changes to Magical Beast, and it gains the Shapechanger subtype. Size in animal form is unchanged. Size in Humanoid form is Medium or Small (depending on what Humanoid race you resemble). Size in Hybrid form is midway between the two. For example a Colossal Giant Spider would be Huge in its Hybrid form if it's Humanoid Form were Medium. (To make this easier assign each Size Class a number, add the 2 numbers and divide by 2 and round down. Fine:1, Diminutive:2, Tiny:3, etc.).

*Hit Dice:* Hit Dice become d10's now that the Were Human is a Magical Beast.  It gains one additional d10 Hit Die.

*Speed:* Land and Swim speed remains unchanged in all 3 forms. If the base creature has no land speed, the humanoid and hybrid forms have a land speed of 15 for Small and 20 for Medium. Flight, Climb and Burrow speeds are unavailable in Humanoid form, and half normal in Hybrid form (maneuverability class is one worse than Animal form).

*Armor Class:* Natural Armor Bonus increases by +2. Natural armor bonus is half normal (round up) in Hybrid form.  For example a Crocodile normally has +4 Natural armor Bonus to AC.  A Were Human Crocodile would have +6 in crocodile form, +3 in Hybrid Form, and +2 in Humanoid form.

*Attack:* Base Attack Bonus now becomes +1 per Hit Die. The Were Human retains all natural attacks in Hybrid and Animal forms (although the damage of the attacks in it's Hybrid form may be modified due to the change in Size, see page 291 of the Monster manual). In humanoid form a Were-Human is considered to have the Improved Unarmed Strike Feat.

*Special Attacks:* All Special Attacks are retained in Animal and Hybrid Forms. Only the following Special Attacks are retained in Humanoid form: Ferocity, Improved Grab, Pounce, Rage, Trip. Improved Grab now triggers with a successful unarmed strike. It also gains Curse of Humanthropy while in Humanoid and Hybrid form:

Curse of Humanthropy (Su): Any animal or vermin successfully bitten by a Were Human becomes a Were Human itself unless it makes a successful Fortitude Save. Save DC is 10 + 1/2 Hit Dice + Constitution modifier. If the base creature does not normally have a bite attack it now gains a Bite as a secondary attack doing 1 point of damage plus 1/2 Strength modifier in Humanoid and Hybrid Forms.  In Animal forms the ite damage is based on size: Fine (1 point), Diminutive (1d2), Tiny (1d3), Small (1d4), Medium (1d6), Large (1d8),  Huge (2d6), Gargantuan (2d8) or Colossal (4d6)..

*Special Qualities:* The Were Human retains all Special qualities in all 3 forms, except Ink Cloud, Jet, Blindsight, and qualities based on alternative physiologies. These are only available in Animal and Hybrid Forms. Vermin Were Humans lose the Mindless Trait as well. Aquatic Were Humans (i.e. Fish) gain Hold Breath in Humanoid form. They may hold their breath for 8 x their Constitution modifier in rounds before they risk drowning (but since they have no problem making swim checks it wont be too much of a problem). All Were Humans gain Alternate Form, and Empathy in all 3 forms. 

Alternate Form (Su): The Were Human can assume a bipedal Hybrid Form or become a humanoid. Only the appearance really changes. The Humanoid and Hybrid forms have hands, but that's the only real difference. Changing forms is a full round action until the Were Human has made a DC 15 Willpower Save to control it. After this changing forms is a standard action. Separated body parts or dead Were Humans revert to animal form.

Empathy (Su): The Were Human can communicate with Humanoids of its own species and (i.e. a Were Human that resembles a Human gains this ability against Humans) receives a +4 Racial bonus on Charisma based skill checks against them. It doesn't know how to speak humanoid languages initially, but still receives the +4 bonus on Charisma based skill checks. Maybe its pheromones. Or maybe people aren't as smart as they think....

Damage Reduction (Ex): A Were Human in Humanoid or hybrid form has damage reduction 10/silver.

*Abilities:* With the exception of Strength abilities remain the same in all 3 forms. The Were Human rolls 3d6 for Int, and gets +2 Wis, and +4 Cha. For Strength in Hybrid Form, add 10 plus the Animal Forms Strength, divide by 2, and round up. For Strength in humanoid form take 10 and add (or subtract if negative) the Animal Forms Strength modifier.  It also gains a 1 increase to any one ability score for every 4 hit dice.

*Saves:* If the Were Human was a vermin its Saving Throws must be recalculated as it is now a Magical Beast.  Increase Base Creature's Reflex Save by +2.

*Skills:* Racial skill bonuses are retained in all 3 forms.  Initially the Were Human knows no languages, but can learn them.  Recalculate skill points due to ability score changes.

*Feats:* Unchanged, unless the extra Hit Die would qualify it for an additional Feat.  Remember to add Feats if the base creature was Mindless.

*Environment:* Unchanged.

*Organization:* Usually becomes Solitary. Pack creatures may form packs if there are enough of them. 

*Challenge Rating:*+1

*Treasure:* Standard

*Alignment:* Still Neutral, though that may begin to alter depending on the Were Humans newfound circumstances.

*Advancement:* By Character Class

*Level Adjustment:* +3 (this is in addition to any Level Adjustment that would be necessary for the Base Creature's abilities, which I will stat out if there's enough demand for it)

*Human Appearance:* The Were Humans humanoid form appears to be of a member of any nearby humanoid race.  Scaly animals will have rough skin, hairy animals will still be uncommonly hairy, etc. Animals without hair will be bald in humanoid form. Skin color will be within the humanoid species range but similar to its animal form. For example a shark will be very pale, or have a slight greyish cast to its skin. 



Authors Note: I know this is somewhat different than the standard Lycanthrope Template, but it IS a bit unusual, and meant for a silly campaign.

Example Were-Human: "Buffalo" Bill Johnson

*Human Form*
Medium Magical Beast (Shapechanger)
*Hit Dice:* 6d10+18 (51 hp)
*Initiative:* +0
*Speed:* 40 ft. (8 squares)
*Armor Class:* 12 (+2 Natural) , touch 10, flat-footed 12
*Base Attack/Grapple:* +6/+9
*Attack:* Unarmed Strike +9 melee (1d3+3)
*Full Attack:* Unarmed Strike +9 melee (1d3+3) and 1 Bite +4 melee (2 points)
*Space/Reach:* 5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:* Curse of Humanthropy
*Special Qualities:* Low-Light Vision, Scent, DR 10/Silver, Alternate Form, Empathy
*Saves:* Fort +8, Ref +7, Will +3
*Abilities:* Str 16, Dex 10, Con 16, Int 10, Wis 13, Cha 9
*Skills:* Listen +12, Spot +12
*Feats:* Alertness, Endurance, Power Attack
*Environment:* Temperate Plains
*Organization:* Solitary
*Challenge Rating:* 3
*Treasure:* None
*Alignment:* Neutral
*Advancement:* By Class Levels
*Level Adjustment:* -


*Hybrid Form*
Medium Magical Beast (Shapechanger)
*Hit Dice:* 6d10+18 (51 hp)
*Initiative:* +0
*Speed:* 40 ft. (8 squares)
*Armor Class:* 13 (+3 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 13
*Base Attack/Grapple:* +6/+9
*Attack:* Gore +9 melee (1d6+4)
*Full Attack:* 1 Gore +9 melee (1d6+4 and 1 Bite +4 melee (2 pts)
*Space/Reach:* 5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:* Curse of Humanthropy
*Special Qualities:* Low-Light Vision, Scent, DR 10/Silver, Alternate Form, Empathy
*Saves:* Fort +8, Ref +7, Will +3
*Abilities:* Str 16, Dex 10, Con 16, Int 10, Wis 13, Cha 9
*Skills:* Listen +12, Spot +12
*Feats:* Alertness, Endurance, Power Attack
*Environment:* Temperate Plains
*Organization:* Solitary
*Challenge Rating:* 3
*Treasure:* None
*Alignment:* Neutral
*Advancement:* By Class Levels
*Level Adjustment:* ----


*Bison Form*
Large Magical Beast (Shapechanger)
*Hit Dice:* 6d10+18 (51 hp)
*Initiative:* +0
*Speed:* 40 ft. (8 squares)
*Armor Class:* 15 (-1 Size, +6 Natural), touch 9, flat-footed 15
*Base Attack/Grapple:* +6/+16
*Attack:* Gore +11 melee (1d8+9)
*Full Attack:* 1 Gore +11 melee (1d8 +9) 
*Space/Reach:* 10 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:* Stampede
*Special Qualities:* Low-Light Vision, Scent, Empathy, Alternate Form
*Saves:* Fort +8, Ref +7, Will +3
*Abilities:* Str 22, Dex 10, Con 13, Int 10, Wis 13, Cha 9
*Skills:* Listen +12, Spot +12
*Feats:* Alertness, Endurance, Power Attack
*Environment:* Temperate Plains
*Organization:* Solitary
*Challenge Rating:* 3
*Treasure:* None
*Alignment:* Neutral
*Advancement:* By Class level
*Level Adjustment:* --- 

Late one July evening a simple Buffalo was bitten by a Coyote Were-Human whom his herd promptly stomped to death. This Buffalo found himself growing ever more self aware over the coming weeks. He began to think. "Is this all I do with my life? Eat grass?" "Why are the other Buffalo so bloody stupid?" "Man, I really need a bath."

Eventually he split from the herd and wondered near a human settlement on the night of the full moon where he received the shock of his life as he turned into a naked man. He then received the second great shock of his life as a woman marched out of her hut, screamed upon seeing him, and knocked him blissfully unconscious with the club she was carrying. At which point he became a Buffalo.

Thankfully the town knew of a nearby Druid who explained things. Bill has been adopted by the Johnson family who are currently trying to teach him several things: How to speak the common language, how to work a farm, and why being naked is bad for you.









*Were Human*

"So you used to just be a normal Viper.  How did you come to this?"

"I was sunning on a rock, when several drunken Gawds fell from the sky, zapped me, and then took off after peeing in the bushes."

"That had to be a rough day."

"Not as rough as the first full moon.  The other Vipers chased me off because they didn't know what was going on, but thankfullya Cleric of Talindra rounded up myself and several other victims.  After I nearly froze to death."

"So how do you feel about being partly human now?"

"Clothing sucks, I don't get the obsession your kind has with bosoms, and I feel your society is largely predicated on concepts that are pure horse (beep)."

*The Gawds Strike Again*

"Fair enough.  I understand you lot have been adopted by the Curch?"

"Indeed.  Being other weres, they understand our situation more than most of your kind."

"Any surprises about your new life?"

"I never realized just how weird you people were.  Honey for example.  Which one of you saw a beehive and thought 'I bet I can take them'."

*Confusion Reigns Supreme*

"It largely comes down to famines.  Famines make fools of us all."

"That checks out, I guess."

----------


## Bhu

*Were Fiend* 

Were Fiends is an Acquired or Inherited Template that can be applied to any Humanoid.  They were part of an ill-advised expansion plan of Talindra's designed to extend her sphere of influence.  Needless to say, Joshua, Gawd of Fiends, was not amused.  He took a definite exception, and after a long fight, he and Talindra share joint custody over Were Fiends in the afterlife.  In Hybrid form, the Were Fiends are horned and hooved hairy humanoids, with long tongues and fangs.  They greatly resemble the traditional description of Krampus.  Their fiend form is much the same, but with a goats head.

*Size and Type:* Size doesn't change,   Type changes to Outsider with the Native Subtype in Hybrid and Fiend Forms.  If the base creature is Chaoric, Lawful or Evil in alignment it gains those Subtypes as well.

*Hit Dice:* The base creature gains 6d8 Hit Dice.  To calculate total hit points, apply Constitution modifiers according to the score the fiendthrope has in each form. 

*Speed:* Base land speed increases by +10 feet in Hybrid and Fiend forms.

*Armor Class:* The base creatures natural armor bonus increases by +2 in Humanoid form.  In hybrid and Fiend forms it becomes +7.

*Attacks:* Add the base attack bonus for the base fiend (+6) to the base attack bonus for the base creature. The fiendthropes grapple bonus uses its attack bonus and modifiers for Strength and size depending on the fiendthropes form. 

*Damage:* Unchanged in Humanoid form.  It gains a Primary Bite attack doing 2d4 plus Str Bonus, and a Secondary Claw attack doing 1d6 plus 1/2 Str Bonus in hybrid and fiend forms.  It gains 1 Bite and 2 Claws with a full attack.

*Special Attacks:* A fiendthrope retains the special attacks of the base creature, and also gains the special attacks described below:

Curse of Fiendthropy(Su):  Any humanoid hit by a natural fiendthropes bite attack in fiend or hybrid form must succeed on a DC 15 Fortitude save or contract fiendthropy. If the victims size is not within one size category of the fiendthrope the victim cannot contract fiendthropy from that fiendthrope. Afflicted fiendthropes cannot pass on the curse of fiendthropy. 

Spell-Like Abilities (Sp): The Were Fiend gains some SLA's in hybrid and fiend forms.  3/Day: Cause Fear, Doom, Jump, Pass Without Trace, Shillelagh, Spider Climb.  Caster Level is equal to Hit Dice, Save DC's are Charisma based.

*Special Qualities:* A fiendthrope retains all the special qualities of the base creature and the base animal, and also gains those described below:

Alternate Form (Su):  A fiendthrope can assume the form of a Fiend.  Changing to or from fiend or hybrid form is a standard action.  A slain fiendthrope reverts to its humanoid form, although it remains dead. Separated body parts retain their fiend form, however.  Afflicted fiendthropes find this ability difficult to control, but natural fiendthropes have full control over this power.

Damage Reduction (Ex): An afflicted fiendthrope in fiend or hybrid form has damage reduction 5/silver. A natural fiendthrope in animal or hybrid form has damage reduction 10/silver.

Fiend Empathy (Ex): In any form, fiendthropes can communicate and empathize with Outsiders whose Alignment matches theirs. This gives them a +4 racial bonus on checks when influencing the Outsider's attitude.

See In Darkness (Su): A fiendthrope can see perfectly in darkness of any kind, even that created by a deeper darkness spell in any form.

Immunities: The base creature is immune to Fire and Poison in hybrid and fiend forms.

Spell Resistance (Ex): The base creature gains Spell Resistance equal to (11+CR) in hybrid and fiend forms.

Summon Fiend (Sp): Once per day, in Fiend form only, a Were Fiend can attempt to summon a CR 2 Fiend with a 35% chance of success. This ability is the equivalent of a 3rd-level spell.  Chaotic Were Fiends summon a Dretch.  Lawful Were Fiends summon an Imp.  Neutral Were Fiends summon a Vargouille.

*Saves:* The creature's Base Saving Throws increase by +5.

*Abilities:* Cha improves by +2.  In Hybrid and Fiends forms it gains +4 Str, +4 Dex, and +6 Con.

*Skills:* A Were Fiend gains (8+Int) skill points times 8 hit dice.  Class skills are Bluff, Diplomacy, Hide, Intimidate, Jump, Listen, Move Silently, Perform, Sense Motive, Spot and Use Magic Device. 

*Feats:* Gains Deceitful, Negotiator and Persuasive as Bonus Feats.

*Environment:* Unchanged.

*Organization:* Unchanged.

*Challenge Rating:* +3

*Treasure:* Unchanged.
*
Alignment:* Unchanged, but often leans towards Evil.

*Advancement:* Unchangedl.

*Level Adjustment:* +6

Example of creature using template here:

*Old Scratch (Human Warrior 5/Were Fiend* (Human Form)
                      Medium Humanoid 
*Hit Dice:*             5d8+10 plus 6d8+30 (89 hp)
*Initiative:*           +5
*Speed:*                30 ft. (6 squares)
*Armor Class:*          13 (+1 Dex, +2 Natural), touch 11, flat-footed 12
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +11/+13
*Attack:*               Club +13 melee (1d6+2)
*Full Attack:*          Club +13/+8 melee (1d6+2)
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      ---
*Special Qualities:*    Alternate Form, Fiend Empathy
*Saves:*                Fort +11, Ref +7, Will +7
*Abilities:*            Str 15, Dex 13, Con 14, Int 8, Wis 12, Cha 14
*Skills:*               Bluff +8, Climb +8, Diplomacy +8, Disguise +4, Forgery +1, Hide +8, Intimidate+8, Jump +8, Listen +8, Move Silently +6, Ride +4, Sense Motive +8, Spot +8, Use Magic Device +8
*Feats:*                Combat Reflexes, Dodge, Mobility, Spring Attack, Deceitful (B), Improved Initiative (B), Negotiator (B), Persuasive (B)
*Challenge Rating:*     8
*Treasure:*             Standard
*Alignment:*            Chaotic Neutral
*Advancement:*          By Character Class
*Level Adjustment:*     +4


*Old Scratch (Human Warrior 5/Were Fiend* (Hybrid Form)
                      Medium Outsider (Chaos, Native)
*Hit Dice:*             5d8+10 plus 6d8+30 (89 hp)
*Initiative:*           +7
*Speed:*                40 ft. (8 squares)
*Armor Class:*          20 (+3 Dex, +7 Natural), touch 13, flat-footed 17
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +11/+15
*Attack:*               Club +13 melee (1d6+4) or Bite +13 melee (2d4+4) 
*Full Attack:*          Club +13/+8 melee (1d6+4) or 1 Bite +13 melee (2d4+4) and 2 Claws +8 melee (1d6+4)
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Curse of Fiendthropy, Spell-Like Abilities
*Special Qualities:*    Alternate Form, DR 10/Silver, Fiend Empathy, See in Darkness, Immune to Fire and Poison, SR 19
*Saves:*                 Fort +14, Ref +9, Will +7
*Abilities:*            Str 19, Dex 17, Con 20, Int 8, Wis 12, Cha 14
*Skills:*               Bluff +8, Climb +10, Diplomacy +8, Disguise +4, Forgery +1, Hide +10, Intimidate+8, Jump +10, Listen +8, Move Silently +8, Ride +6, Sense Motive +8, Spot +8, Use Magic Device +8
*Feats:*                Combat Reflexes, Dodge, Mobility, Spring Attack, Deceitful (B), Improved Initiative (B), Negotiator (B), Persuasive (B)
*Challenge Rating:*     8
*Treasure:*             Standard
*Alignment:*            Chaotic Neutral
*Advancement:*          By Character Class
*Level Adjustment:*     +4


*Old Scratch (Human Warrior 5/Were Fiend* (Fiend Form)
                      Medium Outsider (Chaos, Native)
*Hit Dice:*             5d8+10 plus 6d8+30 (89 hp)
*Initiative:*           +7
*Speed:*                40 ft. (8 squares)
*Armor Class:*          20 (+3 Dex, +7 Natural), touch 13, flat-footed 17
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +11/+15
*Attack:*               Club +13 melee (1d6+4) or Bite +13 melee (2d4+4) 
*Full Attack:*          Club +13/+8 melee (1d6+4) or 1 Bite +13 melee (2d4+4) and 2 Claws +8 melee (1d6+4)
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Curse of Fiendthropy, Spell-Like Abilities, Summon Fiend
*Special Qualities:*    Alternate Form, DR 10/Silver, Fiend Empathy, See in Darkness, Immune to Fire and Poison, SR 19
*Saves:*                Fort +14, Ref +9, Will +7
*Abilities:*            Str 19, Dex 17, Con 20, Int 8, Wis 12, Cha 14
*Skills:*               Bluff +8, Climb +10, Diplomacy +8, Disguise +4, Forgery +1, Hide +10, Intimidate+8, Jump +10, Listen +8, Move Silently +8, Ride +6, Sense Motive +8, Spot +8, Use Magic Device +8
*Feats:*                Combat Reflexes, Dodge, Mobility, Spring Attack, Deceitful (B), Improved Initiative (B), Negotiator (B), Persuasive (B)
*Challenge Rating:*     8
*Treasure:*             Standard
*Alignment:*            Chaotic Neutral
*Advancement:*          By Character Class
*Level Adjustment:*     +4

Old Scratch was a local drunkard and brawler, when Talindra proposed a deal to him.  He signed up immediately.  Super powers for free?  What kind of fool turns that down?




*Were Fiend*

"So how did you come to be known as Old Scratch?"

"I'm itchy."

"What prompted you to be a Were Fiend?  It seems like it would carry a reputation."

"Well the Fiends don't care for us, but everyone else is okay with it.  We've actually become a holiday staple."

"What?"

"We don't change during the full moon.  It's mostly strong emotions  or holidays that do it for us.  Especially the Yule holidays."

*Festive Devils*

"So how are you a holiday staple?"

"We get to dress up and go on parade, and tell the children not to be naughty or we'll drag them off to Hell."

"How does Hell feel about this?"

"The Baatezu are real (beeps) man.  I think they're jealous."

*Mistakes Happen*

"So what convinced you to sign up for this?"

"Life as a guard was mighty boring, and the women all go for you exotic adventurer types.  I needed a competitive edge in the dating pool."

----------


## Bhu

*Hummingbird Swarm*
Fine Animal
*Hit Dice:* 3d8 (13 hp)
*Initiative:* +9
*Speed:* 5 ft. (1 squares), Fly 50 ft. (Perfect)
*Armor Class:* 23 (+8 Size, +5 Dex), touch 23, flat-footed 18
*Base Attack/Grapple:* +2/-
*Attack:* Swarm (1d6)
*Full Attack:* Swarm (1d6)
*Space/Reach:* 10 ft./0 ft.
*Special Attacks:* Distraction
*Special Qualities:* Low Light Vision, Immune to Weapon Damage, Swarm Traits, Evasion
*Saves:* Fort +3, Ref +8, Will +3
*Abilities:* Str 1, Dex 20, Con 10, Int 1, Wis 15, Cha 8
*Skills:* Hide +21, Listen +7, Spot +7
*Feats:* Alertness, Improved Initiative
*Environment:* Temperate Forest or Marshes
*Organization:* Solitary (Hummingbirds only swarm when summoned magically)
*Challenge Rating:* 3
*Treasure:* None
*Alignment:* Always Neutral
*Advancement:* -
*Level Adjustment:* ---

_"Burt...Burt there's a buncha teeny birds lookin' at me.  Lookin' at me like ah don't belong..."_

Nothing says AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH like being surrounded by angry Hummingbirds.  Normally Hummingbirds don't swarm unless magically summoned, and they usually get more guffaws than gasps.  At least until the first one puts out someone's eye.

*Distraction (Ex):* Any living creature that begins its turn with a Hummingbird swarm in its space must succeed on a DC 11 Fortitude save or be nauseated for 1 round. The save DC is Constitution-based.

*Evasion (Ex):*  If the Swarm makes a successful Reflex saving throw against an attack that normally deals half damage on a successful save, it instead takes no damage. A helpless Swarm does not gain the benefit of evasion. 

*Combat:* Hummingbirds peck and run if the opponent can fight back, or just swarm him if he can't.

Summon Swarm II 
Conjuration  (Summoning)
*Level:* Brd 3, Dru 3, Sor/Wiz 3
*Components:* V, S, M/DF
*Casting Time:* 1 Round
*Range:* Close (25 ft. +5 ft./Level)
*Effect:* one swarm
*Duration:* Concentration, plus 2 rounds
*Saving Throw:* None
*Spell Resistance:* No

This works exactly like Summon Swarm, but it summons a Swarm of Hummingbirds, Locusts, or Vipers (see Fiend Folio).



*Hummingbird Swarm*

"Well that worked off our offense at the Church.  What now?"

"We're in Arrival, the greatest city in the known world.  May as well see the sights."

"Gimme yer money."

"What?"

"Gimme yer money, or my friends take you out.."

*An Unusual Sight*

"Little girl, do you know who we are?

"Yeah, yer on the Palantir, which means you gots money.  So cough it up or say hello to my little friends.

"Hummingbirds.  You're robbing us with Hummingbirds?"

"Damn straight I am.."

"I admire your pluck.  Here.  Here's some money and a writ.  Show it to any Ranger and they'll take you in for training.  You have too much potential to waste it being a thief."

"Really?"

*Scarier Than You'd Think*

"We're adventurers by trade.  We recognize potential."

"I don't know what to say."

----------


## Bhu

*Superhero Template*

Superhero is an Acquired or Inherited Template that can be applied to any corporeal creature of Large or smaller Size.  Superheroes are cape wearing lunatics who believe they fight for the common good. In reality they cause massive amounts of property damage fighting villains, and usually level the small towns they are in the process of saving. They have the same appearance as the base creature, but with a cape or unusual mask or headdress or something. Some got their power from the Gods, some get it from magical experiments, some are just accidents of nature. But they've all had some life altering event that made them very powerful, and fried their brain.

*Size and Type:* Unchanged (Animals or Vermin become Magical Beasts).

*Hit Dice:* The base creature is raised to 5 Hit Dice if it has less. If it has 5 or more Hit Dice it gains 5 Hit Dice.

*Speed:* Base creature gains Fly 120 ft (Good).

*Armor Class:* Base creature gains +10 Deflection bonus to Armor Class.

*Attacks:* Unchanged.

*Damage:* Unchanged.

*Special Attacks:* Keeps all Special Attacks of the base Creature and gains the following:

Hard Fists: The Base creatures Unarmed Strikes do not provoke attacks of opportunity and do lethal damage.  If the Base Creature has no natural weapons it gains an Unarmed Strike attack (damage depends on size): Fine (1 point), Diminutive (1d2), Tiny (1d3), Small (1d4), Medium (1d6), Large (1d8), Huge (2d6), Gargantuan (2d8), Colossal (4d6).

Ray Vision (Su): Once every 1d4 rounds the Superhero unleashes an energy ray (choose Cold, Electricity, Fire, Force, or Sonic damage). This is a ranged touch attack with a range of 100 feet. Damage is 2d6 plus 1d6 more for every 3 Hit Dice it has.

*Special Qualities:* Keeps all Special Qualities of Base Creature and gains the following: 

Invulnerability: Gains Invulnerability 5.  Invulnerability is similar to Damage Reduction, but it also blocks damage from energy attacks, spells, spell-like abilities, and supernatural abilities. For example the Superhero has Invulnerability 5. That means it negates the first 5 points of damage from any attack (this includes untyped damage).

Immunities: Immune to Fear, Disease, Poison, stunning, sleep effects, nonlethal damage, or critical hits. 

Tuff Guy: Gains a Racial bonus to all Saving Throws equal to it's Charisma Bonus (minimum +1)

Enhanced Senses (Ex): The superhero gains a Racial Bonus to all Listen, Search, and Spot rolls equal to it's Charisma Bonus (minimum +1). It also gains this bonus to Survival rolls when tracking by Scent (if it has Scent).

Born Fighter (Ex): The Superhero takes no size penalties to combat maneuvers (grapple, bull rush, trip, etc.).

*Saves:* Unchanged (but see above).

*Abilities:* +16 Strength, +10 Constitution, Int raises (or lowers) to 10, +4 Charisma.

*Skills:* Skill points are recalcualted, remember to add the skill points from the extra Hit Dice.

*Feats:* Unchanged, remember to add Feats gained because of the extra Hit Dice.

*Environment:* Any

*Organization:* Unique

*Alignment:* Becomes Chaotic Good or Chaotic Neutral

*Treasure:* Unchanged

*Challenge Rating:* +3

*Advancement:* Unchanged (or by Character Class).

*Level Adjustment:* +6



Example: *THE IRON SQUIRREL*

Diminutive Magical Beast (Augmented)
*Hit Dice:* 5d10+25 (52 hp)
*Initiative:* +7
*Speed:* 30 ft. (6 squares), 30 ft. climb, 120 ft Fly (Good)
*Armor Class:* 27 (+4 Size, +3 Dex, +10 Deflection), touch 27, flat-footed 24
*Base Attack/Grapple:* +5/+9
*Attack:* Bite +13 melee (1d3+6) or Eye Ray +12 ranged (3d6 force)
*Full Attack:* Bite +13 melee (1d3+6) or Eye Ray +12 ranged (3d6 force)
*Space/Reach:* 1 ft./0 ft.
*Special Attacks:* Ray Vision, Hard Fists
*Special Qualities:* Invulnerability 5, Immunities, Enhanced Senses, Tuff Guy, Born Fighter
*Saves:* Fort +10, Ref +8, Will +3
*Abilities:* Str 18, Dex 17, Con 20, Int 10, Wis 12, Cha 10
*Skills:* Balance +12, Climb +12, Intimidation +6, Listen +5, Spot +5, Tumble +9
*Feats:* Alertness, Improved Initiative
*Environment:* Any
*Organization:* Unique
*Challenge Rating:* 3
*Treasure:* None
*Alignment:* Chaotic Good
*Advancement:* By Character Class
*Level Adjustment:* +6

_"Abner...Abner that skwirl has a cape...and I don't think he likes you touching his nuts..."_

The Iron Squirrel appears to have been always powerful, he simply got tired of people picking on his nut stashes one day.  he ferociously defends the local forests nut trees, and may the Gods help anyone trying to raid them.

*Hard Fists*: Not applicable to the Squirrel. 

*Ray Vision (Su):* Once every 1d4 rounds the Iron Squirrel can shoot a ray from his eyes. The ray is a 100 ft. ranged touch attack doing 3d6 Force damage.

*Immunities:* Immune to Fear, Disease, Poison, stunning, sleep effects, nonlethal damage, or critical hits. 

*Tuff Guy:* Gains a Racial bonus to all Saving Throws equal to his Charisma Bonus

*Enhanced Senses(Ex):* The Iron Squirrel gains a Racial Bonus to all Listen, Search, and Spot rolls equal to his Charisma Bonus. 

*Born Fighter (Ex):* The Iron Squirrel takes no size penalties to combat maneuvers.

*Skills:* Squirrels have a +8 bonus racial bonus on Balance and Climb checks. A squirrel can always choose to take 10 on a Climb check, even if rushed or threatened. A squirrel uses its Dexterity modifier for Climb checks.



*Superhero*

"Five minutes out of the temple, and someone tries to rob us.  With birds."

"You'll get used to it.  Say, uhh Jim?  There's a squirrel in a cape hovering behind you..."

"GREETINGS MORTAL!  KNOW THAT YOU GAZE UPON THE IRON SQUIRREL!"

"Oh Hell, it's  one of those superhero types..."

"HAVE YOU SEE MY NEMESIS, THE FLYING MARMOSET? "

*Where Parody Goes To Die*

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but I've never seen a flying monkey.

"THEY ARE RELENTLESS IN THEIR FIENDERY."

"Have you tried asking the Guard?"

"AHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHA!  I NEED NO GUARDS ASSISTANCE!"

"Do you have an inside voice/"

"I can answer that one Jim.  No.  No, they never do."

"THAT IS A HURTFUL STEREOTYPE!"

*With Great Power Comes No Wisdom*

"And yet, here we are."

"IT'S A GOOD THING FOR YOU TWO I'M A HERO."

----------


## Bhu

*Turbo-Charged*

Turbo-Charged is an Acquired Template that can be applied to any creature.  Exactly how it is applied, and who does the applying is apparently a trade secret (and Template beneficiaries ain't speakin').  It's generally assumed to be some sort of magical upgrade for warriors who emphasize speed over personal safety.  The Sky Gnomes take credit for it's invention, which should be more than enough to warn others away.

*Size and Type:* Unchanged.  

*Hit Dice:* Unchanged.

*Speed:* Unchanged (but see below).

*Armor Class:* Unchanged.

*Attacks:* Unchanged.

*Damage:* Unchanged.

*Special Attacks:* Retains all Special Attacks of the Base Creature, plus gains the following:

Kick in the Afterburners! (Ex):  The Turbo-Charged can make a special Charge Attack a number of times per day equal to it's Constitution Modifier (minimum of 1/day).  This can be combined with the Cometary Collision Feat.  The base creature accelerates suddenly, bursting into flame.  For the round of the Charge attack, the base creature gains the following benefits:

  Immunity to Fire Damage.

  You do not take the -2 Penalty to AC for a Charge Attack.

  It is not required to move in a straight line while making the Charge, but must still move at least 10 feet.

  Your Charge is not stopped by Difficult Terrain.

  Your attacks do +1d6 Fire damage, and anyone successfully attacking you in melee takes 1d6 Fire damage, at which point your flames extinguish and flare up on the target you attacked successfully.  The target takes 1d6 Fire damage at the beginning of it's turn for (3+ Constitution Modifier, minimum of 3) rounds.  This fire may be extinguished early by the target making a Reflex Save each round to avoid taking fire damage (Save DC is Con based), and if he succeeds the fire goes out.  They may gain a +4 Bonus to the Save by dropping and rolling on the ground, and jumping in water extinguishes it automatically.

*Special Qualities:* Retains all Special Qualities of the Base Creature.

*Saves:* Unchanged.

*Abilities:* Unchanged.

*Skills:* Unchanged.

*Feats:* Unchanged.

*Environment:* Unchanged.

*Organization:* Unchanged.

*Challenge Rating:* +1

*Treasure:* Unchanged.

*Alignment:* Unchanged.

*Advancement:* Unchanged.

*Level Adjustment:* +1 (+2 if Con score is 18 or higher)


*Streakin' John (1st Level Gnome Warrior/Turbo Charged*
                      Small Humanoid (Gnome)
*Hit Dice:*             1d8+2 (6 hp)
*Initiative:*           +0
*Speed:*                20 ft. (4 squares)
*Armor Class:*          15 (+1 Size, +4 Chain Shirt), touch 11, flat-footed 15
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +1/-3
*Attack:*               Greataxe +2 melee (1d10/x3)
*Full Attack:*          Greataxe +2 melee (1d10/x3)
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Kick in the Afterburners
*Special Qualities:*    Gnome Traits
*Saves:*                Fort +4, Ref +0, Will -1
*Abilities:*            Str 11, Dex 11, Con 14, Int 10, Wis 9, Cha 8
*Skills:*               Hide +4, Intimidate +1, Listen +3, Spot +3
*Feats:*                Weapon Focus
*Challenge Rating:*     1
*Treasure:*             Standard
*Alignment:*            Usually Neutral Good
*Advancement:*          By Character Class
*Level Adjustment:*     +1

Streakin' John always wanted to be special.  To be noticed for something.  Nobody knows where he went when he quit the army, but he came back goofy, and with a love of large axes.



*Turbo Charged*

"Well this looks interesting."

"Ah, the Yule Market.  I remember it so."

"HURRY, HURRY, STEP RIGHT UP!  See the latest in Sky Gnome technology!"

"My memories of this are less fond..."

"Do you have an obsessive need to go faster, spreading fire in your wake?"

*You'll Be The First To Die, But I Like Your Enthusiasm*

"I remember your stories about the Sky Gnomes.  They  seemed a trifle harsh."

"Do you find charging into combat is getting boring?"

"Goodness me, what have hey done to that poor man?"

"With this new magical process, you can burninate all who oppose you!"

"Looks like one of those Winchesters we saw a while back."

"I can't imagine it being any less terrifying."

"Have we got a deal for you!"

*Fire Is Not The Answer*

"You do not sir.  Good day."

"EFFIN' ROCK GNOMES, AND YOUR EFFIN' SNOBBERY!"

----------


## Bhu

*Light-Puker*

Light-Puker is an Inherited Template that can be applied to any corporeal creature.  It is a sad, sad world in which beings are randomly born with the ability to shoot lasers from one of their various orifices.  Granted, it usually issues from the mouth, accompanied by a loud retching sound, but critters have been observed belching forth lasers from their ears, nostrils, and on rare occasion even their navels.  The Gawds steadfastly claim that this condition is not their fault, nor are they responsible for the 'rogue' Clerics quietly disappearing anyone who looks into it.

*Size and Type:* Unchanged (Animals and Vermin become Magical Beasts).  

*Hit Dice:* Unchanged.

*Speed:* Unchanged.

*Armor Class:* Unchanged.

*Attacks:* Unchanged (BAB will change if Type changes).

*Damage:* Unchanged.

*Special Attacks:* Retains all Special Attacks 

Expectorate Laser (Su): Once every 1d4 rounds the Light-Puker can unleash a laser from one of it's available bodily orifices (the Gawds apparently have ... issues).  This is a ranged attack doing (x)d6 fire damage (x is equal to the Base Creatures Hit Dice, minimum of 1d6).  The attack has a Range Increment of 80 ft, and damage drops by 2d6 for each Range Increment past the first.  The attack roll takes a -4 Penalty if the laser is fired from air to water or water to air (or in heavy rain or snow), and ignores Dex/Dodge Bonuses to AC.  It is completely invisible unless fired into smoke/rain/fog etc.

*Special Qualities:* Retains all Special Qualities of the Base Creature.

*Saves:* Unchanged.

*Abilities:* Unchanged.

*Skills:* Unchanged (Calculate skills if base creature was a Vermin).

*Feats:* Gains Point Blank Shot and Precise Shot as Bonus Feats, remember to add Feats if base creature was a Vermin.

*Environment:* Unchanged.

*Organization:* Unchanged.

*Challenge Rating:* +1

*Treasure:* Unchanged.

*Alignment:* Unchanged.

*Advancement:* Unchanged.

*Level Adjustment:* +1 per every 5 Hit Dice.


*Light Pukin' Medium Shark*
                      Medium Magical Beast (Aquatic)
*Hit Dice:*             3d10+3 (19 hp)
*Initiative:*           +2
*Speed:*                Swim 60 ft. (12 squares)
*Armor Class:*          15 (+2 Dex, +3 Natural), touch 12, flat-footed 13
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +3/+4
*Attack:*               Bite +5 melee (1d6+1) or Laser +5 ranged (3d6)
*Full Attack:*          Bite +5 melee (1d6+1) or Laser +5 ranged (3d6)
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Expectorate Light
*Special Qualities:*    Blindsense 30 ft., Keen Scent
*Saves:*                Fort +4, Ref +5, Will +2
*Abilities:*            Str 13, Dex 15, Con 13, Int 1, Wis 12, Cha 2
*Skills:*               Listen +6, Spot +6, Swim +9
*Feats:*                Alertness, Weapon Finesse, Point Blank Shot (B), Precise Shot (B)
*Challenge Rating:*     2
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          4-6 HD (Medium)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---





*Light Puker*

"Is that man selling weasels?"

"It's best to just assume they just look like weasels.  Remember where we are."

"Greetings gentlemen! Would you like to purchase a home protection weasel?"

"What makes them a guard animal?"

"They have supernatural abilities sir!"

*Animals And Energy Beams Don't Mix*

"Weasels are not animals known for their self restraint."

"Sir, our weasels receive the finest training, I can assure you."

"Weasels aren't known for being trainable either."

"Show 'em your moves Bessie!"

RAAAAAAALLF

"So they have breath weapons..."

"That is just terrifying."

"And it will likewise terrify your enemies!"

*Weasels Do Not Guards Make*

"Are you an accredited dealer in any way?"

"Yes sir.  Got my accreditation from Joe, of Joe's Used Pets!"

"Joe and I go way back."

"I'll just move along now..."

----------


## Bhu

*Adorable*

Adorable is an Inherited or Acquired Template that can be applied to any living creature.

*Size and Type:* Unchanged (Animals and Vermin become Magical Beasts).

*Hit Dice:* Unchanged (unless Type changes).

*Speed:* Unchanged.

*Armor Class:* Gains a Deflection Bonus to AC equal to your Cha Modifier (minimum +1) as opponents are reluctant to hit you.

*Attacks:*  Unchanged (unless Type changes).

*Damage:* Unchanged.

*Special Attacks:* Retains all Special Attacks of the Base Creature, plus gains the following:

_Goofery Antics (Ex):_  An Adorable creature with 3 or more ranks in Perform (Cuteness) can use their cute antics to cause one or more creaturess to become Fascinated with them. Each creature to be Fascinated must be within 90 feet, able to see or hear the Adorable creature, and able to pay attention to him. The Adorable one must also be able to see the creature. The distraction of a nearby combat or other dangers prevents the ability from working. For every three Hit Dice an Adorable creature attains beyond 1st, he can target one additional creature with a single use of this ability.

To use the ability, an Adorable creature makes a Perform (Cuteness) check. His check result is the DC for each affected creatures Will save against the effect. If a creatures saving throw succeeds, the Adorable beastie cannot attempt to Fascinate that creature again for 24 hours. If its saving throw fails, the creature sits quietly and watches you play, taking no other actions, for as long as the Adorable creature continues to play and concentrate (up to a maximum of 1 round per Hit Die). While Fascinated, a target takes a -4 penalty on skill checks made as reactions, such as Listen and Spot checks. Any potential threat requires the Adorable creature to make another Perform check and allows the Fascinated creature a new saving throw against a DC equal to the new Perform check result.

Any obvious threat, such as someone drawing a weapon, casting a spell, or aiming a ranged weapon at the target, automatically breaks the effect. Fascinate is an enchantment (compulsion), mind-affecting ability.

Optionally you may use this Ability to endear yourself to one or more creatures.  Once you have 12 ranks in Perform (Cuteness) you can make a Perform (Cuteness) Check, and your Check result is the Save DC for each affected creatures Will Save.  If a creatures saving throw succeeds, the Adorable beastie cannot attempt to Fascinate that creature again for 24 hours. If its saving throw fails, the creature is affected as if by a Charm Monster spell (Caster Level equals your Hit Dice).  Unlike normal you do not need to know the targets language, you gain it's trust by sheer adorableness (and maybe some purring).  You can't really make demands of the Charmed creature other than food, shelter, and other pet type things, but affected creatures will not harm you.  This effect lasts 24 hours, and is an Enchantment (Charm) Mind-Affecting ability.

You may use your Goofery Antics a number of times per day equal to your Hit Dice.

*Special Qualities:* Retains all Special Qualities of the Base Creature, plus gains the following:

_OMG IT'S SO FLUFFY! (Ex):_ Your cuteness is strong.  Effectively, you permanently have the benefits of a Sanctuary spell as an Exceptional Ability (Caster Level is equal to it's HD).  Save DC is Cha Based.  Save DC increases by +2 when you're sleeping (cute critters are always cuter when they're sleeping).  If you attack someone you lose the benefits of this ability for the rest of the encounter.

*Saves:* Gains a Circumstance Bonus on all Saving Throws equal to your Cha Modifier (minimum +1) due to an opponents unwillingness to truly harm you

*Abilities:* +4 Cha.  Roll 3d6 for Int if the base creature was previously mindless.

*Skills:* Bluff and Perform (Cuteness) are always considered Class Skills, and they both gain a +4 Racial Bonus.   Perform (Cuteness) are goofy antics people find adorable due to your innate cuteness.  Skill points may be recalculated to get ranks in Perform (Cuteness).  Remember to add skills if base creature was Mindless.

*Feats:* Unchanged (unless base creature was Mindless).

*Environment:* Unchanged.

*Organization:* Unchanged.

*Challenge Rating:* +1

*Treasure:* Unchanged

*Alignment:* Unchanged, but even Evil Adorable creatures tend to be full of hugs for those who treat them well.

*Advancement:* Unchanged.

*Level Adjustment:* +3


*Fat Birb* (Tyrannosaurus/Adorable)
                      Huge Magical Beast
*Hit Dice:*             18d10+99 (198 hp)
*Initiative:*           +1
*Speed:*                40 ft. (8 squares)
*Armor Class:*          16 (-2 Size, +1 Dex, +5 Natural, +2 Deflection), touch 11, flat-footed 15
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +18/+35
*Attack:*               Bite +25 melee (3d6+13)
*Full Attack:*          Bite +25 melee (3d6+13)
*Space/Reach:*          15 ft./10 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Improved Grab, Swallow Whole, Goofery Antics
*Special Qualities:*    Low-light Vision, Darkvision 60 ft., Scent, OMG IT'S SO FLUFFY!
*Saves:*                Fort +18, Ref +14, Will +10
*Abilities:*            Str 28, Dex 12, Con 21, Int 2, Wis 15, Cha 14
*Skills:*               Bluff +7, Listen +8, Perform (Cuteness) +18, Spot +8
*Feats:*                Alertness, Improved Natural Attack (bite), Run, Toughness (3), Track
*Environment:*          Warm Plains
*Organization:*         Solitary or Pair
*Challenge Rating:*     9
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*         19-36 HD (Huge); 37-54 HD (Gargantuan)
*Level Adjustment:*    ---

*Goofery Antics (Ex):*  An Adorable creature with 3 or more ranks in Perform (Cuteness) can use their cute antics to cause one or more creaturess to become Fascinated with them. Each creature to be Fascinated must be within 90 feet, able to see or hear the Adorable creature, and able to pay attention to him. The Adorable one must also be able to see the creature. The distraction of a nearby combat or other dangers prevents the ability from working. For every three Hit Dice an Adorable creature attains beyond 1st, he can target one additional creature with a single use of this ability.

To use the ability, an Adorable creature makes a Perform (Cuteness) check. His check result is the DC for each affected creatures Will save against the effect. If a creatures saving throw succeeds, the Adorable beastie cannot attempt to Fascinate that creature again for 24 hours. If its saving throw fails, the creature sits quietly and watches you play, taking no other actions, for as long as the Adorable creature continues to play and concentrate (up to a maximum of 1 round per Hit Die). While Fascinated, a target takes a -4 penalty on skill checks made as reactions, such as Listen and Spot checks. Any potential threat requires the Adorable creature to make another Perform check and allows the Fascinated creature a new saving throw against a DC equal to the new Perform check result.

Any obvious threat, such as someone drawing a weapon, casting a spell, or aiming a ranged weapon at the target, automatically breaks the effect. Fascinate is an enchantment (compulsion), mind-affecting ability.

Optionally you may use this Ability to endear yourself to one or more creatures.  Once you have 12 ranks in Perform (Cuteness) you can make a Perform (Cuteness) Check, and your Check result is the Save DC for each affected creatures Will Save.  If a creatures saving throw succeeds, the Adorable beastie cannot attempt to Fascinate that creature again for 24 hours. If its saving throw fails, the creature is affected as if by a Charm Monster spell (Caster Level equals your Hit Dice).  Unlike normal you do not need to know the targets language, you gain it's trust by sheer adorableness (and maybe some purring).  You can't really make demands of the Charmed creature other than food, shelter, and other pet type things, but affected creatures will not harm you.  This effect lasts 24 hours, and is an Enchantment (Charm) Mind-Affecting ability.

You may use your Goofery Antics a number of times per day equal to your Hit Dice.

*Improved Grab (Ex):* To use this ability, a tyrannosaurus must hit an opponent of up to one size smaller with its bite attack. It can then attempt to start a grapple as a free action without provoking an attack of opportunity. If it wins the grapple check, it establishes a hold and can try to swallow the foe the following round.

*Swallow Whole (Ex):* A tyrannosaurus can try to swallow a grabbed opponent of up to two sizes smaller by making a successful grapple check. The swallowed creature takes 2d8+8 points of bludgeoning damage and 8 points of acid damage per round from the tyrannosauruss gizzard. A swallowed creature can cut its way out by using a light slashing or piercing weapon to deal 25 points of damage to the gizzard (AC 12). Once the creature exits, muscular action closes the hole; another swallowed opponent must cut its own way out.

A Huge tyrannosauruss gizzard can hold 2 Medium, 8 Small, 32 Tiny, or 128 Diminutive or smaller opponents.

_OMG IT'S SO FLUFFY! (Ex):_ Your cuteness is strong.  Effectively, you permanently have the benefits of a Sanctuary spell as an Exceptional Ability (Caster Level is equal to it's HD).  Save DC i21.  Save DC increases by +2 when you're sleeping (cute critters are always cuter when they're sleeping).  If you attack someone you lose the benefits of this ability for the rest of the encounter.

*Skills:* A tyrannosaurus has a +2 racial bonus on Listen and Spot checks. 



*Adorable*

"Is that a Fat Birb T-Rex?  On a leash?"

"Exotic pets are common here."

"Is that a young boy on the other end of that leash?"

"And in public no less."

*Fat Birb Or Not, It's Still A T-Rex*

"How is this legal?"

"Dammit Jimmy, clean up after yer critter!"

"Oopsie."

"So somehow, someone has trained a dinosaur.  Almost."

"Fat Birbs are mischievous."

*Everyone Likes The Fwuffy*

"A mischievous dinosaur is still a dangerous dinosaur."

"Aww, it's hugging people."

"And Jimmy appears to be collecting fees for those hugs..."

----------


## Bhu

*Unfeeling Brute Template*

Unfeeling Brute is an Acquired or Inherited Template that can be added to any living, corporeal creature that is medium or larger, and doesn't have an Int score higher than 15.  Unfeeling Brutes are twisted mistakes of nature who are all brawn and little or no brain.  What causes this is unknown, but pollution by mages or alchemists (or the interference of drunken gods) is often blamed.  They make pretty good cheap muscle.  Just keep them fed and happy.  Or bad times is a'comin'.

*Size and Type:* Unchanged

*Hit Dice:* Unchanged, remember to add new Con bonus.

*Speed:* Lower base speed of all movement types by 5 feet, to a minimum of 5 feet.

*Armor Class:* Natural Armor Class increases by an amount that depends on it's Size: Medium +2, Large +3, Huge +4, Gargantuan +7, and Colossal +11.

*Attacks:* All natural attacks increase their damage die as if you were one Size Class larger (see MM page 291). If you have no attacks but unarmed strikes, your unarmed strikes become Slam attacks doing lethal damage. Unarmed strikes also increase to the next highest die.

*Special Attacks:* The Brute retains the special attacks of the base creature.

*Special Qualities:* The Brute retains the special qualities of the base creature, plus gains the following:

Powerful Build (Ex): Whenever a Brute is subject to a size modifier or special size modifier for an opposed check (such as during grapple checks, bull rush attempts, and trip attempts), the Brute is treated as one size larger if doing so is advantageous to him.

A Brute is also considered to be one size larger when determining whether a creatures special attacks based on size (such as improved grab or swallow whole) can affect him. A Brute can use weapons designed for a creature one size larger without penalty. However, his space and reach remain those of a creature of his actual size. The benefits of this racial trait stack with the effects of powers, abilities, and spells that change the subjects size category.

Immunities (Ex): The Brute is immune to all mind affecting effects. 

Damage Reduction (Ex): The Brute also gains DR x/-, the number depending on its Size:Medium: DR 3, Large: DR 5, Huge: DR 8, Gargantuan: DR 10, Colossal: DR 12.

*Saves:* Fortitude Saving Throws gain a +2 Racial Bonus

*Abilities:* Bonuses for Str, Dex, and Con depend on Size. Int becomes a 3 if it is 4 or higher, a 1 if it's a 2 or 3, and - if it's a 1 (the Base Creature also becomes Mindless in this instance). Wis and Cha are unchanged.



```
Size    Str  Dex  Con
Medium            +4        -2          +4
Large             +10       -2          +4
Huge              +14       -4          +8
Gargantuan        +20       -4          +8
Colossal          +24       -8          +12
```

*Skills:* Gains a +8 Racial bonus to Intimidate checks. Adjust skills due to new Int. It loses all skills other than Racial Bonuses if it becomes Mindless.

*Feats:* Gains 1 bonus Feat from the following list for every 4 Hit Dice if it meets the prerequisites: Area Attack, Awesome Blow, Brutal Strike, Brutal Throw, Combat Brute, Cometary Collision, Crush, Cumbrous Fortitude, Diehard, Endurance, Fling Enemy, Great Fortitude, Greater Powerful Charge, Improved Bull Rush, Improved Critical, Improved Natural Armor, Improved Overrun, Improved Sunder, Involuntary Rage, Large and in Charge, Mighty Leaping, Pain Mastery, Power Attack, Powerful Charge, Power Critical, Power Throw, Pushback, Roll With It, shock Trooper, Stomp, Toughness, and Improved Toughness. It loses all Feats except the Bonus Feats if it becomes Mindless.  If it would have access to Epic Feats it may also choose Armor Skin, Damage Reduction, Devastating Critical, Epic Endurance, Epic Fortitude, Epic Prowess, Epic Toughness, Fast Healing, Great Constitution, Great Strength, Legendary Leaper, Overwhelming Critical, Penetrate Damage Reduction, or Perfect Health.  Feats are from Savage Species, Epic Level Handbook, Monster Manual, Complete Adventurer, Miniature's Handbook, Complete Warrior, and PHB II.

*Environment:* Unchanged

*Organization:* Solitary

*CR:* Medium: +2, Large: +2, Huge: +3, Gargantuan: +3, Colossal: +4

*Treasure:* Unchanged

*Alignment:* Most Brutes become Neutral unless they are prevented (i.e. Outsiders that are restricted in alignment)

*Advancement:* Unchanged

*Level Adjustment:* Medium: +4, Large: +5, Huge: +6, Gargantuan: +7, Colossal: +8

_"So whaddya call this guy?"_

*"HE!...IS!...BISOOON MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNN!!"*

_"Ooookaaayyy...well if'n you want him to be a wrassler, yew need ta  git him in the ring."_


*Bison Man*
                      Minotaur, Unfeeling Brute
                      Large Monstrous Humanoid
*Hit Dice:*             6d8+24 (51 hp)
*Initiative:*           -1
*Speed:*                25 ft. (5 squares)
*Armor Class:*          16 (-1 Size, -1 Dex, +8 natural), touch 8, flat-footed 16
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +6/+23
*Attack:*               Greatclub +14 melee (4d6+9) or Gore +14 melee (2d6+9)
*Full Attack:*          Greatclub +14/+9 melee (4d6+9) and Gore +9 melee (2d6+4)
*Space/Reach:*          10 ft./10 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Powerful Charge 7d6+13
*Special Qualities:*    Darkvision 60 ft., Natural Cunning, Scent, DR 5/-, Powerful Build, Immune to Mind-Affecting Effects
*Saves:*                Fort +10, Ref +4, Will +5
*Abilities:*            Str 29, Dex 8, Con 19, Int 3, Wis 10, Cha 8   
*Skills:*               Intimidate +10, Listen +6, Search +2, Spot +6
*Feats:*                Great Fortitude, Power Attack, Track, Greater Powerful Charge (B), Powerful Charge (B)
*Environment:*          Underground
*Organization:*         Solitary
*Challenge Rating:*     6
*Treasure:*             Standard
*Alignment:*            Neutral
*Advancement:*          By Character Class
*Level Adjustment:*     +7

Bison Man was doubly cursed by the Gods for the actions of his _parents_.  Not only did he become a Minotaur, but he's incredibly dumb.  But to give him a fighting chance, they did make him a bit tougher than usual.  Eventually he was adopted by a kindly old spinster woman at the edge of town named Granny Moses.  And by kindly old spinster, we mean lunatic hermit well into insanity.  She believes that the Bison Man is a superhero who will save the villagers from evil and lead them into a new golden age.  Of course she also sometimes think the local cabbage crops are demons in disguise, and that the local villagers eat cabbage because they are mind controlled into doing so...



*Unfeeling Brute*

"There's a coliseum here?"

"They use it for the wrasslin' matches mostly."

"Wrestling is a popular sport among Gnomes?"

"Not wrestling.   Wrasslin'.  There's a difference."

*Not So Much A Curse As It Usually Is*

"What kind of difference?"

"LORDY BE LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! BISON MAN AND CHUNKY VERSUS THE MASKED SHENANIGANS MAY BE THE GREATEST MATCH OF ALL TIME!_OF ALL TIME!_"

"Ah."


*Too Strong To Live, Too Stupid To Die*

"It can be an acquired taste."

"I imagine it's quite profitable for the larcenous as well."

"Why Jim, I have no idea what you mean."

----------


## Bhu

*Lumian Death Crab*
                      Large Magical Beast (Amphibious, Aquatic, Cold)  Note that unlike normal critters, The Death Crab has no Swim speed, despite being Aquatic
*Hit Dice:*             10d10+30 (85 hp)
*Initiative:*           +5
*Speed:*                30 ft. (6 squares)
*Armor Class:*          24 (-1 Size, +1 Dex, +14 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 23
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +10/+19
*Attack:*               Pincer +15 melee (1d8+5/x3)
*Full Attack:*          2 Pincers +15 melee (1d8+5/x3)
*Space/Reach:*          10 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Improved Grab, Constrict (2d8+5), Razor Claws
*Special Qualities:*    Darkvision 60 ft., Mindless, DR 10/Adamantine, Immunity to Magic, Scent, Immunity to Cold, Vulnerability to Fire
*Saves:*                Fort +10, Ref +8, Will +7
*Abilities:*            Str 20, Dex 13, Con 17, Int --, Wis 14, Cha 12
*Skills:*               Hide +1, Spot +6
*Feats:*                Blind-Fight (B), Improved Initiative (B), Iron Will (B),  Weapon Focus (Pincer, B)
*Environment:*          Cold Aquatic
*Organization:*         Solitary
*Challenge Rating:*     12
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          11-15 HD (Large), 16-30 HD (Huge)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

"Rich people are effin' crazy."

Lumian Death Crabs that live in the frigid, arctic waters of Lumia.  Somehow it was discovered they pretty much melt into a tasty broth when boiled (except for their brain, which is the size of an orange).  Gourmands subsidize a dangerous, and highly illegal, trade in Death Crabs.  The Crabs are frequently smuggled into high level restaurants, where teams of men compete to wrestle them into boiling pools of water for the patrons enjoyment.  Activists frequently set the crabs free, which doesn't endear them to anyone, as the Crabs always go on an ultra-violent killing spree.  Studies have failed to determine the cause of their aggressiveness, as no one can figure out how to keep them from killing anything they see.  Even when there are no living beings to kill, the Crabs destroy any breakable object in reach.  Quite honestly, they're terrifying.

*Improved Grab (Ex):* To use this ability, a Crab must hit with a Pincer attack. It can then attempt to start a grapple as a free action without provoking attacks of opportunity. If it wins the grapple check, it establishes a hold and can constrict.  Crabs have a +4 racial bonus on grapple checks.

*Constrict (Ex):* A Crab deals damage equal to twice its normal claw damage plus its Strength bonus on a successful grapple check.

*Razor Claws (Ex):* The Crabs Pincer attacks do x3 damage on a successful critical hit.

*Immunity to Magic (Ex):* The Crab is immune to any spell or spell-like ability that allows spell resistance.

*Skills:* The Crab has a +4 Racial Bonus on Hide and Spot Checks.

*Combat:* Lumian Death Crabs are practically rabid.  They slaughter anything that swims into view, whether they are hungry are not.  They don't retreat, nor do they take time for tactics.  hey run up and start swinging, and they keep swinging until the target dies or they do.



*Lumian Death Crab*

SKREEEEE!

"Is that three Ogres in a back alley trying to wrestle a Lumian Death Crab through a back door?"

"There's a thriving illegal trade in them here.  Rich fascists will pay a great deal of money to eat their brain."

"So it's a cabal of evil gourmet foodies?"

"Pretty much.  Poor thing will have to fight for it's life before being melted."

*Ustoppable Death Machine*

"Maybe we should engage in some shenanigans.  It's been a while."

"You sure about that?  The rampages these things go on is frightening."

"We'll call the Guard whilst it's punishing the bad guys."


*Setting The Bar For Terror*

"Why not.  Could be amusing."

"I'll take the two on the left."

----------


## Bhu

I gave the Were Otters some skill boosts and some Cha for now.

----------


## Metastachydium

> *Creating a Were Human*


Isn't that just 'Human Human', etymologically speaking?




> Were Human is an Acquired or Inherited template that can be added to any Animal or Vermin of Tiny to Large Size.. 
> 
> *Size and Type:* The base creatures type changes to Magical Beast, and it gains the Shapechanger subtype. Size in animal form is unchanged. Size in Humanoid form is Medium or Small (depending on what Humanoid race you resemble). Size in Hybrid form is midway between the two. For example a Colossal Giant Spider would be Huge in its Hybrid form if it's Humanoid Form were Medium. (To make this easier assign each Size Class a number, add the 2 numbers and divide by 2 and round down. Fine:1, Diminutive:2, Tiny:3, etc.).


So Is it Tiny to Large size or Fine to Colossal?




> *Hit Dice:* Hit Dice become d10's now that the Were Human is a Magical Beast.  It gains one additional Hit Die.


Regardless of the type of humanoid? (How's that determined anyway? Pick one, run with it?)




> *Speed:* Land and Swim speed remains unchanged in all 3 forms. If the base creature has no land speed, the humanoid and hybrid forms have a land speed of 15 for Small and 20 for Medium. Flight, Climb and Burrow speeds are unavailable in Humanoid form, and half normal in Hybrid form (maneuverability class is one worse than Animal form).


There are lots of humanoids with climb speeds and even some with fly and burrow speeds. No exception for those?




> Curse of Humanthropy


Man, that's one horrible word salad!




> If the base creature does not normally have a bite attack it now gains a Bite as a secondary attack doing 1 point of damage plus 1/2 Strength modifier.


Regardless of size?




> *Hummingbird Swarm*


Best. Swarm. Ever.




> *Superhero Template*
> 
> ()
> 
> Ray Vision (Su): Once every 1d4 rounds the Superhero unleashes an energy ray (choose Cold, Electricity, Fire, Force, or Sonic damage).


No love for poor Acid, I see.




> Example: *THE IRON SQUIRREL*
> 
> ()
> 
> *Skills:* Balance +11, Climb +11, Intimidation +4, Listen +3, Spot +3


12 skill points still available! Also, Listen/Spot should be +4 (+2 WIS, +2 feat, +1 "CHA").




> *Turbo-Charged*
> 
> ()
> 
> Your attacks do +1d6 Fire damage, and anyone attacking you in melee takes 1d6 Fire damage


Even on a miss?




> *Skills:*               Hide +3, Listen +1, Spot +1


I count one more available skill point.




> *Light-Puker*
> 
> ()
> 
> ignores Dex/Dodge Bonuses to AC.


Like, the inverse of a ranged touch? Nice. Precision damagers would love that.




> *Adorable*


CUTE.




> _OMG IT'S SO FLUFFY! (Ex):_ Your cuteness is strong.  Effectively, you permanently have the benefits of a Sanctuary spell as an Exceptional Ability (Caster Level is equal to it's HD).  Save DC is Cha Based.  Save DC increases by +2 when you're sleeping (cute critters are always cuter when they're sleeping).  If you attack someone you lose the benefits of this ability for the rest of the encounter.
> 
> *Saves:* Gains a Circumstance Bonus on all Saving Throws equal to your Cha Modifier (minimum +1) due to an opponents unwillingness to truly harm you


That's just _beautiful_!




> *Abilities:* +4 Cha.
> 
> *Skills:* Bluff and Perform (Cuteness) are always considered Class Skills, and they both gain a +4 Racial Bonus.   Perform (Cuteness) are goofy antics people find adorable due to your innate cuteness.  Skill points may be recalculated to get ranks in Perform (Cuteness).  Remember to add skills if base creature was Mindless.
> 
> *Feats:* Unchanged (unless base creature was Mindless).


It would appear that mindless Adorables gain an INT score; it's not, however, specified _what_ INT score they gain.




> *Alignment:* Unchanged, but even Evil Adorable creatures tend to be full of hugs for those who treat them well.


Aw.




> *Fat Birb* (Tyrannosaurus/Adorable)


*AWWW.*




> *Skills:*               Bluff +7, Listen +8, Perform (Cuteness) +18, Spot +8


The birb has 4 more skill points available!




> *Unfeeling Brute Template*
> 
> ()
> 
> *Base Attack/Grapple:*  +6/+19


Grapple should be +23 (since Powerful Build adds another +4).




> *Lumian Death Crab*
>                       Large Magical Beast (Amphibious, Aquatic, Cold)


Amphibious is a special quality, not a subtype, and I'm not sure what Cold even those for this feller (I mean, it has no cold immunity/fire vulnerability and not even a cold-based attack).




> *Speed:*                30 ft. (6 squares)


Don't Aquatic critters normally come with a swim speed?




> *Skills:*               Hide +0, Spot +6


Hide should be +4 (-4 size, +1 DEX, +4 racial).




> I gave the Were Otters some skill boosts and some Cha for now.


That should do!

----------


## Bhu

> There are lots of humanoids with climb speeds and even some with fly and burrow speeds. No exception for those?


  You only appear to be a humanoid, you don't actually polymorph into one.  For example, looking like a Dwarf doesn't give you Stonecunning.





> No love for poor Acid, I see.


 Acid damage didn't seem very 'superhero-ey





> Amphibious is a special quality, not a subtype, and I'm not sure what Cold even those for this feller (I mean, it has no cold immunity/fire vulnerability and not even a cold-based attack).


  I use amphibious as a Subtype in my campaigns (mostly because it's quicker and I don't have to constantly reproduce that text).  It was well known that cold immunity/fire vulnerability comes with the Cold sutype so I didn't put it in the SQ (I have changed that).






> Don't Aquatic critters normally come with a swim speed?


  Apparently Crabs do not.  I peeked at Stormwrack to see how they statted crabs before making this and they have neither swim speed or skill ranks (it isn't even in the errata).  I have added a note.


Everything else has been addressed through modification.

----------


## Tvtyrant

Hey Bhu, what balance point would you put setting people on fire at? Specifically the fire elementals 1d10 a turn until turned off. I'm working on a low level monster that uses a natural magnifying glass (think a scorpion but with a magnifying glass for a stinger) and it basically has "30 ft: hit and target is on fire."

----------


## Metastachydium

> You only appear to be a humanoid, you don't actually polymorph into one.  For example, looking like a Dwarf doesn't give you Stonecunning.


Ah! Go it, thanks.




> Apparently Crabs do not.  I peeked at Stormwrack to see how they statted crabs before making this and they have neither swim speed or skill ranks (it isn't even in the errata).  I have added a note.


And 3.5 strikes again!

----------


## Bhu

> Hey Bhu, what balance point would you put setting people on fire at? Specifically the fire elementals 1d10 a turn until turned off. I'm working on a low level monster that uses a natural magnifying glass (think a scorpion but with a magnifying glass for a stinger) and it basically has "30 ft: hit and target is on fire."


What CR are you going for?  And what size of Monstrous Scorpion?

----------


## Tvtyrant

> What CR are you going for?  And what size of Monstrous Scorpion?


So I think it could go two ways. A Small scorpion that just sets people on fire that's CR1 or a medium scorpion that deals fire damage when it shoots people that is CR3?

*Spoiler*
Show

Giant Light Scorpion
Small beast, unaligned
Armor Class 15 (natural armor)
Hit Points 4 (1d6 + 1)
Speed 30 ft., climb 30 ft.
STR
5 (-3)
DEX
14 (+2)
CON
12 (+1)
INT
1 (-5)
WIS
7 (-2)
CHA
3 (-4)

Senses blindsight 30 ft., passive Perception 8
Languages 
Challenge 1 (200 XP)
Claw. Melee Weapon Attack: +4 to hit, reach 5 ft., one creature. Hit: 4 (1d4 + 2) piercing damage
Focused Light. Ranged Spell Attack: +2 to hit, range 30 ft., one target. If the target is a creature or a flammable object, it ignites. Until a creature takes an action to douse the fire, the target takes 5 (1d10) fire damage at the start of each of its turns.

*Spoiler*
Show

Crystal Scorpion
Medium beast, unaligned
Armor Class 17 (natural armor)
Hit Points 27 (5d8 + 5)
Speed 30 ft., climb 30 ft.
STR
12 (+1)


DEX 16 (+3),CON 12 (+1), INT 1 (-5), WIS 7 (-2),CHA 3 (-4)
Senses blindsight 30 ft., passive Perception 8
Languages 
Challenge 3 (700 XP)
Light Ray. Ranged Spell Attack: +5 to hit, range 120ft., one target. Hit: If the target is a creature or a flammable object, it ignites. Until a creature takes an action to douse the fire, the target takes 5 (1d10) fire damage at the start of each of its turns.
Claw. Melee Weapon Attack: +6 to hit, reach 5 ft., one creature. Hit: 7 (1d6 + 3) piercing damage

----------


## Bhu

Running it through one of the online CR calculators, the small one is a CR 1/8 and the medium is a CR 1 (unless, perchance, they have multiattack?). They're really only that high because of their AC.   Also I'm assuming both attacks are dex based, in which case the to hit for the small one should be +4 for both attacks, and +5 for the medium.

----------


## Tvtyrant

> Running it through one of the online CR calculators, the small one is a CR 1/8 and the medium is a CR 1 (unless, perchance, they have multiattack?). They're really only that high because of their AC.   Also I'm assuming both attacks are dex based, in which case the to hit for the small one should be +4 for both attacks, and +5 for the medium.


Much appreciated!

----------


## Bhu

I'm always available to help!   :Small Big Grin:

----------


## Bhu

*Carnivorous Jungle Death Penguin Swarm*
Tiny Magical Beast (Swarm)
*Hit Dice:* 5d10+5 (32 hp)
*Initiative:* +0
*Speed:* 15 ft. (3 squares), Swim 15 ft.
*Armor Class:* 13 (+2 Size, +1 Natural), touch 12, flat-footed 13
*Base Attack/Grapple:* +5/-
*Attack:* Swarm (1d6)
*Full Attack:* Swarm (1d6)
*Space/Reach:* 10 ft./0 ft.
*Special Attacks:* Distraction
*Special Qualities:* Dark Vision 60 ft., Swarm Traits, Half Damage from Slashing/Piercing Weapons
*Saves:* Fort +5, Ref +4, Will +3
*Abilities:* Str 2, Dex 10, Con 12, Int 2, Wis 14, Cha 2
*Skills:* Hide +10, Jump +16, Listen +5, Spot +5, Survival +6, Swim +4
*Feats:* Alertness, Endurance, Track (B)
*Environment:* Warm Forest
*Organization:* Solitary, Pair, Group (3-5 Swarms)
*Challenge Rating:* 2
*Treasure:* None
*Alignment:* Always Neutral
*Advancement:* -
*Level Adjustment:* -

_"Penguins?  What the hell are penguins doing in the jungle?"_

Humphrey Billingsworth the 3rd was a liar, a cheat, and a complete and utter scoundrel. Unfortunately for the world he also had a taste for women who were equally larcenous at heart.  A taste he indulged while in wizardry school. One, named Ils, taunted him into entering a competition to create a new species. Humphrey should have known better. Usually these competitions get out of hand, and half the contestants get killed when someones awakened land roving giant squid entry creates an army of the dead and proceeds to take over the city. But he was in lust. He was also broke. And lacking in even the most basic tenets of common sense. So he broke into the zoos menagerie to steal some subjects, nearly got eaten by an Owlbear, and managed to abscond with several penguins. He was supposed to make a guardian species for jungle habitats. 

With penguins.

Needless to say he quickly got incredibly drunk out of despair. And then he decided to say what the hell and just give mutating them a try. Unfortunately for the world "what the hell" came after 3 bottles of Elvish wine. Penguins had several problems adapting to a jungle existence. They couldn't stand heat, they had ridiculously stubby little legs, and virtually no real offensive capability. So he gave them retractable fangs to fix the fighting problem. He tried giving them flight, but at best they had some of pseudo levitation they could use in spurts that allowed them to travel by hopping which they seemed to enjoy immensely. Running out of time he decided to try and use the tactic that "no one would see them coming, they'll make the perfect ambush minion" as a selling point when he introduced them to the judges the next day. He then locked the penguins up for the night, and passed out.

He locked them up next to a fiendish artifact the Wizards school had just taken in for study that had gigantic signs around it saying "STAY 30 FEET FROM THIS THING AT ALL TIMES". 

In his defense he was stone drunk.

Long story short the several penguins became several thousand overnight. They ate the competition. And Humphrey, and Ils, and most of the local population. In the afterlife the Gods and Fiends both pretty much rejected Humphrey's soul, and at this moment it seems likely he will become a Vestige. A sad, penguiny Vestige. 

*Skills:* Jungle Death Penguins have a +8 Racial Bonus to Swim checks, and can always Take 10 on a Swim check. They also have a +20 Racial Bonus to Jump Checks.

*Combat:* Ummm..they're penguins. Penguins aren't known for tactical sense. They just sort of bounce toward the victim and nibble.


*Humphrey Billingsworth the 3rd*

Humphrey's story is listed above.

*Vestige Level:* 6
*Binding DC:* 25
*Special Requirement:* No
*Manifestation:* There is an explosion of fetid jungle mist.  It clears to reveal a well-attired man, short in stature, with the head of a penguin.  He looks at you condescendingly, and asks if you have any wine.  Unless you are female, in which case he attempts to smile, to horrific effect.
*Sign:*  While bound to Humphrey, your face is that of a Penguin.
*Influence:* When influenced by Humphrey, you become enamored of wine, women who are badly in need o a sugar daddy, and horrible decision making.  A little too enamored.  You are bad times waiting to happen.
*Granted Abilities:* Humphrey grants you various Penguin related abilities, and the ability to jump large distances.
_You Have Angered Me:_ Once per 8 hours you may Shapechange (as per the spell) into a Dire Penguin.
_Boing:_ You may use the Jump spell at will.  The DC of your Jump Checks is not increased if you don't have a running start, or are moving less than 30 feet.  Your maximum Jump distance is double.
_Behold My Children::_ You can use Summon Swarm to summon a Carnivorous Jungle Death Penguin Swarm, which you can control.  Once you have used this ability, you cannot do so again for 5 rounds.
_I Smite Thee:_ You can polymorph, as per the spell, any opponent into a Penguin (see Frostburn).  Once you have used this ability, you cannot do so again for 5 rounds.





*Carnivorous Jungle Death Penguin Swarm*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom, Jim and I make our triumphant return to Bad Critter Forest!"

*WTF*
"It's good to be back Harlan, I...what the hell?"

*HONK!*

"Oh crap.  Run Jim.  Run quite fast, those are Humphrey's Penguins."

"Relax, I still have the cube of force.  Who is Humphrey?"

*Born From Tragedy*
"It's a long, sad, terrible story of a man caught between love, inebriation and the forces of Hell."

"So one of your contemporaries in Wizard school then?"

----------


## Bhu

*Mysterious Magical Maniacal Miniaturized Moose Swarm*
Tiny Magical Beast
*Hit Dice:* 12d10 (66 hp)
*Initiative:* +7
*Speed:* 20 ft. (4 squares)
*Armor Class:* 16 (+2 Size, +3 Dex, +1 Natural), touch 15, flat-footed 13
*Base Attack/Grapple:* +12/-
*Attack:* Swarm (3d6)
*Full Attack:* Swarm (3d6)
*Space/Reach:* 10 ft./0 ft.
*Special Attacks:* Distraction, Trip
*Special Qualities:* Low Light Vision, Dark Vision 60 ft., Swarm Traits, Half Damage from Slashing and Piercing
*Saves:* Fort +11, Ref +11, Will +5
*Abilities:* Str 6, Dex 16, Con 10, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 6
*Skills:* Hide +11, Listen +8, Spot +8, Survival +6
*Feats:* Alertness, Endurance, Great Fortitude, Improved Initiative, Run
*Environment:* Cold or Temperate Forests
*Organization:* Solitary, Herd (3-5 Swarms)
*Challenge Rating:* 6
*Treasure:* None
*Alignment:* Usually Neutral
*Advancement:* -
*Level Adjustment:* ---


_"Maw...Maw the mooses got Abner..."_

"Git me the moose smackin' club."

These are a species of magically created miniature moose the size of cats. The gods alone known what they were created for.  They seem as stubborn and irrationally violent as the usual sized moose that's gotten drunk on fermented crab apples.  Perhaps a tad more so, as they have to make up for their lack of size.  Originating in Bad Critter Forest (figures), they have spread quickly over the world.

*Trip (Ex):* The Moose swarm will attempt to knock opponents over, and then trample on them. Any creature they subject to their Swarm attack they immediately get a Trip attack against as a Free Action without provoking an attack of opportunity (and the opponent can't try to trip them back).  Their Swarm attack does +1d6 against Prone opponents.

*Combat:* The Moose swarm will charge, and try to knock it's opponent over, before repeatedly jumping up and down on it. If it cannot eventually trip an opponent it will flee.  Before sneaking back up on him an hour later when his guard is down and trying it again just for the sake of stubborness.



*Mysterious Magical Maniacal Miniaturized Moose Swarm*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom, Jim and I are investigating the reports of swarms of odd critters in the appropriately named Bad Critter Forest!"

*Beware Crab Apple Season*
"And I've found our first swarm Harlan.  Tiny moose hopped up on rage."

"I just know someone will blame my profession for this..."

"Relax Harlan.  It could still be Druids."

*They've Forgotten They're Tiny*
"No...no that is clearly a Wizards spire I can see in the distance."

"Let's go see who is turning Tiny abominations of nature loose on the public."

----------


## Bhu

http://fxb.worth1000.com/entries/560477/fish-fur

*Swarm Fish*
                      Diminutive Magical Beast (Swarm, Amphibious, Aquatic)
*Hit Dice:*             6d10 (33 hp)
*Initiative:*           +7
*Speed:*                Fly 30 ft. (6 squares, Good), Swim 30 ft.
*Armor Class:*          18 (+4 Size, +3 Dex, +1 Deflection), touch 18, flat-footed 15
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +6/-
*Attack:*               Swarm (2d6)
*Full Attack:*          Swarm (2d6)
*Space/Reach:*          10 ft./0 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Distraction
*Special Qualities:*    Dark Vision 60 ft., Swarm Traits, Immune to Weapon Damage, Adoption, Planar Adaptation, Plane Shift
*Saves:*                Fort +5, Ref +8, Will +5
*Abilities:*            Str 1, Dex 16, Con 11, Int 3, Wis 12, Cha 4
*Skills:*               Listen +5, Spot +5, Swim +4
*Feats:*                Ability Focus (Distraction), Improved Initiative, Iron Will
*Environment:*          Any except Desert or Cold
*Organization:*         Solitary (plus potential adoptee)
*Challenge Rating:*    3 
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          ---
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_"Bert that woman comin' over here is wearin' fish."_

_"Ayuh."_

_"Think she's fixin' to yell at us fer fishin'?"_

_"Prolly."_

Swarm Fish are an alien fish species found flying between Planes.  They seem to need little in the way of food, and aren't really picky about what they munch on, often satisfied with organic detritus.  Many clean their adopted person of dead skin cells.  

For whatever reason the fish tend to adopt humanoids who are willing and do not harm the swarms members.  In exchange for defending the humanoid, they get to share it's food and living space.  Most continually surround their adoptee, and from a distance look like living clothes.

*Distraction (Ex)*: Any living creature susceptible to the swarms damage beginning it's turn in the swarms area must make a DC 15 Fortitude Save or be Nauseated for 1 round (Save DC is Constitution based).  Their Adopted Humanoid is immune to this, so long as they never betray the fish.

*Adoption (Ex)*: Swarm Fish will bond to and adopt any Humanoid who allows them to be enveloped for 24 hours by them.  They will keep pace with, and hover about, that individual giving it partial concealment, as well as sharing their +1 Deflection Bonus to AC with it.  They will stay with that person as long as they are treated well and have plenty of food.  Despite rumors of starving Swarm Fish eating their adoptee this has never been proven.

*Planar Adaptation (Ex)*: Swarm Fish immediately adapt to whatever Plane they enter as if they had the effects of a permanent Avoid Planar Effects spell.  This is shared by their adopted Humanoid.

*Plane Shift (Sp):* The Swarm can Plane SHift itself and it's adoptee 1/day.

*Skills*: Swarm Fish gain a +8 Racial Bonus to Swim Checks, and may Always Take 10 on Swim Checks.  They may use the Run Action while swimming in a straight line.

*Combat*: Swarm Fish will stay surrounding their Adoptee to protect it unless an opponent gets within melee range in which case they will attack.



*Swarm Fish*
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom, Jim and I are off to confront  a fellow Wizard on his possible violations of safety protocols."

*They're The Hottest New Trend*
"Oh, here comes someone now.  Excuse me miss?"

"Who are you?  Are you friends of Praky baby?"

"Oh for the love of..."

"We're here to see Prak yes, but may I inquire as to what those fish swimming around you are?"

*Totally Not Dangerous.  Really We Swear.*

"It's a rare cloud of Platinum Swarm Fish.  Praky got them for me.  He's inside, watch out for the turtles."

"Turtles?"

"Here they come now, in comically exaggerated slow motion."

----------


## Bhu

*Mad Turtle Swarm*
                      Tiny Magical Beast (Swarm)
*Hit Dice:*             12d10+24 (90 hp)
*Initiative:*           -1
*Speed:*                10 ft. (2 squares), Swim 10 ft.
*Armor Class:*          16 (+2 Size, -1 Dex, +5 Natural), touch 11, flat-footed 16
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +12/-
*Attack:*               Swarm (3d6)
*Full Attack:*          Swarm (3d6)
*Space/Reach:*          10 ft./0 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Distraction, Mouth Foaming Anger
*Special Qualities:*    Low Light Vision, Hold Breath, Swarm traits, Half damage from Slashing and Piercing, Scent
*Saves:*                Fort +11, Ref +7, Will +7
*Abilities:*            Str 10, Dex 8, Con 12, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 2
*Skills:*               Spot +8, Survival +9, Swim +8
*Feats:*                Ability Focus (Distraction), Endurance, Great Fortitude, Improved Toughness, Iron Will
*Environment:*          Temperate Marsh or Forest
*Organization:*         Solitary
*Challenge Rating:*     6
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          ---
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_"Bert that turtle pond looks...suspicious..."_

Turtle Swarms are magically bred turtles used as somewhat, kind of, competent guard animals.  They're difficult to hit and okay in water, but they're darn slow.  And they have rabid tempers.  Spurious rumor has it a Druid juiced them up to keep the locals from turning them into soup.

*Mouth Foaming Anger (Ex)*: Whenever the swarm takes damage it begins foaming at the mouth in fury, and it's swarm attacks do +1d6 damage for the rest of the encounter.

*Distraction (Ex)*: Any living creature vulnerable to the swarms damage that begins it's turn with a Swarm in it's square must make a DC 19 Fortitude Save (Save DC is Constitution based) or be Nauseated 1 round.  Spellcasting or concentrating on spells in this area requires a Concentration Check (DC is 20 plus spell level).  Using skills requiring Concentration or patience requires a DC 20 Concentration check.

*Hold Breath (Ex)*: Turtle Swarms may hold their breath for (8 times Con score) rounds before it risks drownings.

*Skills*: Turtle Swarms gain a +8 Racial Bonus to Swim Checks, and may Always Take 10 on a Swim Check.

*Combat*: Turtle Swarms tend to charge oooooh so slowly.  Or simply appear to e docile until intruders get close.



*Mad Turtle Swarm*
"What is the meaning of this Prak?  Turtles?  Sugar babies?"

*Absurdity Thy Name Is Prak*
"Really, what is the deal with those turtles?"

"Like you've never had a fling or two Harlan.  I've got a new business Jim!  I make swarms of guard critters.  The Turtles were an early concept.  In theory no one would see them coming until it's too late."

"I have never financed a sugar baby!"

"I can assure you Prak, literally everyone will see the turtles coming."

*Devastating, So Long As You Willingly Walk Into The Blender*

"I know, they weren't a great seller.  Neither were the Mooses.  That's why I've moved on to rodents!"

"Prak, you are a grown Wizard.  No one should have to explain why rodents are a bad idea."

"Now Harlan, we can at least hear him out."

----------


## Bhu

*Vorpal Shrew Swarm*
Diminutive Magical Beast (Swarm)
*Hit Dice:* 12d10+12 (78 hp)
*Initiative:* +9
*Speed:* 15 ft. (3 squares), climb 15 ft.
*Armor Class:* 20 (+4 Size, +5 Dex, +1 Natural), touch 19, flat-footed 15
*Base Attack/Grapple:* +12/-
*Attack:* Swarm (3d6 plus poison)
*Full Attack:* Swarm (3d6 plus poison)
*Space/Reach:* 10 ft./0 ft.
*Special Attacks:* Vorpal Attacks, Distraction, Poison
*Special Qualities:* Immune to Weapon Damage, Low Light Vision, Scent, Swarm Traits
*Saves:* Fort +9, Ref +13, Will +6
*Abilities:* Str 6, Dex 20, Con 13, Int 6, Wis 14, Cha 10
*Skills:* Balance +13, Climb +16, Hide +17, Listen +7, Move Silently +12, Spot +7, Survival +5
*Feats:* Alertness, Endurance, Diehard, Improved Initiative, Track
*Environment:* Any Forest
*Organization:* Solitary, Pair, Mob (3-4 Swarms), Big Mob (10-15 swarms)
*Challenge Rating:* 7
*Treasure:* None
*Alignment:* Always Neutral
*Advancement:* -
*Level Adjustment:* ---

_"Abner...I don't like the way thet grass is movin'..I think we should leave..."_

Vorpal Shrews are creations by Prak the Mad, the mage of Bad Critter Forest (and one he actually regrets). Their magically enhanced natural weapons cut through anything. They appear to be normal (if somewhat rabid) shrews.  And by somewhat rabid we mean "teensy mouth-frothing horrors from the Pit".

*Poison (Ex):* Injury, Fortitude Save DC 17, Initial and Secondary Damage 1d4 Dex. Save DC is Constitution Based. Shrews excrete most of the poisons that build up in their body in their saliva.

*Vorpal Attacks (Su):* The damage from Vorpal Shrews Swarm Attack is untyped, meaning it bypasses Damage Reduction.

*Distraction (Ex):* Any living creature that begins its turn with a  swarm in its space must succeed on a DC 17 Fortitude save or be nauseated for 1 round. The save DC is Constitution-based. 

*Skills:* Vorpal Shrews have a +8 Racial Bonus on Balance, and Climb checks. They also have a +4 Racial Bonus on Move Silently checks. They may use their Dex or Str modifier for Climb checks, whichever is better, and may always Take 10 on Climb checks, even if rushed or threatened.

*Combat:* Vorpal Shrews pretty much use standard swarm tactics, i.e. rush the victim and start chewing.  Plus they make these horrifying lil' squeaky noises that will keep you awake at nights if you survive.  



*Vorpal Shrew Swarm*
"All right Prak.  Prove to us you've been following the protocols."

*Shrews, The Bane Of Wizardkind*
"The escaped Moose were a bad sign."

"They didn't escape, we shooed them off.  They weren't mine."

"So you have compet...holy crap are those shrew bite marks?"

"Tell us you didn't use shrews."

*Can Chew Through Adamantine*

"I used shrews."

"Where are they now?"

"They escaped the first day.  Chewed their way through 6 feet of stone.  So I hadda start over with mice."

"Well, mice are a step up from shrews at least."

----------


## Bhu

*Devil Mice Swarm*
Diminutive Magical Beast (Swarm)
*Hit Dice:* 12d10+24 (90 hp)
*Initiative:* +5
*Speed:* 15 ft. (3 squares), climb 15 ft.
*Armor Class:* 20 (+4 Size, +5 Dex, +1 Natural), touch 19, flat-footed 15
*Base Attack/Grapple:* +12/-
*Attack:* Swarm (3d6 plus poison)
*Full Attack:* Swarm (3d6 plus poison)
*Space/Reach:* 10 ft./0 ft.
*Special Attacks:* Summon Swarm, Distraction, Poison
*Special Qualities:* Immune to Weapon Damage, Low Light Vision, Scent, Swarm Traits, Dark Vision 60 ft., Telepathy 100 ft., Immune to Fire and Poison, Energy Resistance 20 (Cold and Acid)
*Saves:* Fort +10 Ref +13, Will +8
*Abilities:* Str 4, Dex 21, Con 14, Int 10, Wis 14, Cha 10
*Skills:* Balance +13, Bluff +6, Climb +16, Hide +17, Intimidate +7, Listen +7, Move Silently +12, Spot +7
*Feats:* Ability Focus (Distraction, Poison), Alertness, Iron Will, Persuasive
*Environment:* Any Forest
*Organization:* Solitary, Pair, Mob (3-4 Swarms), Big Mob (10-15 swarms)
*Challenge Rating:* 8
*Treasure:* None
*Alignment:* Always Neutral Evil
*Advancement:* -
*Level Adjustment:* ---

_"Abner...Abner the mice got horns...and they's tellin' me bad things..."_

Yet another creation of the mad wizard of Bad Critter Forest, these mice have a fiendish ancestry of some sort. They appear to be mice or hamsters with black fur, red eyes, and teensy little devil horns. Despite this they are not Extraplanar entities, nor do they seem to have alignment restrictions.  Which just drives mages studying them nuts.  Devil Mice speak Common and Infernal.

*Summon Swarm (Su):* Devil Mice can try summon another Swarm of Devil Mice once per day with a 35% chance of success.

*Poison (Ex):* Injury, Fortitude Save DC 20, Initial and Secondary Damage is 1d4 Str.

*Distraction (Ex):* Any living creature that begins its turn with a  swarm in its space must succeed on a DC 20 Fortitude save or be nauseated for 1 round. The save DC is Constitution-based. 

*Skills:* Devil Mice have a +8 Racial Bonus on Balance, and Climb checks. They also have a +4 Racial Bonus on Move Silently checks. They may use their Dex or Str modifier for Climb checks, whichever is better, and may always Take 10 on Climb checks, even if rushed or threatened.

*Combat:* Devil Mice usually hide while trying to summon another swarm before moving in for the kill and nibbling their victim to death in a rude manner.  Being intelligent however, you can try to bluff or bribe them.  Bribing generally works better.  You'd be surprised what evil mice will accept in exchange for not devouring you in your sleep.



*Devil Mice Swarm*
"So where are these Mice?"

*The Horns Give Away Their True Nature*
"Their cage seems empty too."

"Oh I got rid of them.  They were whispering to me at night, trying to tempt me to do awful things."

"Clearly they didn't know you well."

"So you Awakened a swarm of mice?"

*Whispers In The Night*

"No sir.  I magically spliced them with Devils."

"You WHAT?"

"It seemed like a good idea until they kept trying to bargain for my soul?"

"Wizards have souls to bargain with?"

"That hurt Jim."

----------


## Bhu

*Death Gerbil Swarm*
Diminutive Magical Beast
*Hit Dice:* 15d10+45 (127 hp)
*Initiative:* +9
*Speed:* 15 ft. (3 squares), Climb 15 ft., Swim 15 ft., Burrow 15 ft.
*Armor Class:* 24 (+4 Size, +5 Dex, +5 Natural), touch 19, flat-footed 19
*Base Attack/Grapple:* +15/-
*Attack:* Swarm (3d6 plus poison)
*Full Attack:* Swarm (3d6 plus poison)
*Space/Reach:* 10 ft./0 ft.
*Special Attacks:* Distraction, Poison
*Special Qualities:* Immune to Weapon Damage, Low Light Vision, Scent, Swarm Traits, Dark Vision 60 ft., Preternatually Tough
*Saves:* Fort +11, Ref +15, Will +10
*Abilities:* Str 4, Dex 21, Con 12, Int 14, Wis 14, Cha 10
*Skills:* Balance +16, Climb +17, Hide +26, Jump +10, Knowledge (Local, Nature) +8, Listen +10, Move Silently +14, Search +10, Spot +10, Survival +10, Swim +10, Tumble +10
*Feats:* Alertness, Ability Focus (Poison), Dodge, Improved Initiative, Iron Will, Brachiation (Complete Adventurer, yes I know they have pudgy little hamster legs, they still swing from trees)
*Environment:* Any Warm
*Organization:* Solitary, Pair, or Big Swarm (3-6 swarms)
*Challenge Rating:* 13
*Treasure:* Standard
*Alignment:* Usually Neutral Evil
*Advancement:* -
*Level Adjustment:* ---

_"Abner...Abner I think that mouse ate something bad 'fore it bit me..."_

Death Gerbils are small gerbil or hamster like critters once again made by insane wizards hellbent on ruining the reputation of their profession.  Just once you think they'd make something useful that didn't end up killing people and infesting the town.  Colors vary, but most have the same insane gleam in their eyes.  It's easy to recognize them from the local rodents as they're cuter, and look like they want to eat you.  Most gerbils aren't carnivorous, nor do they discuss with you how you'd like to be prepared after you are killed.  Death Gerbils understand Common, and 2 other languages (usually of nearby races wherever they live).

*Poison (Ex):* Injury, Fort Save DC 20, Initial and Secondary Damage 1d4 Strength

*Preternaturally Tough (Ex):* Death Gerbils have a Racial Bonus to their Saving Throws equal to their Constitution Modifier (yes this means they get double their Con mod for Fort Saves). They also get an additional 2 hp per Hit Die.

*Skills:* Death Gerbils have a +8 Racial Bonus on Balance, and Climb checks. They also have a +4 Racial Bonus on Jump and Move Silently checks. They may use their Dex or Str modifier for Climb and Jump checks, whichever is better, and may always Take 10 on Climb checks, even if rushed or threatened.  Death Gerbils have a +8 racial bonus on any Swim check to perform some special action or avoid a hazard. They can always choose to take 10 on a Swim check, even if distracted or endangered. They can use the run action while swimming, provided they swim in a straight line. 

*Combat:* Capable of climbing, swimming, burrowing, or swinging through the trees if necessary, Death Gerbils are all terrain munching machines.  Think of them as fuzzy pirhana.  Being intelligent it is possible to bribe them however.  If you happen to have dozens of suits of gerbil sized magical armor on you it might even be exceptionally possible.




*Death Gerbil Swarm*
"What did you move on to next?"

*A Little Too Good At Their Job*
"I see an empty gerbil cage."

"Yeah, the gerbils were a super bad idea."

"Worse than the others?"

"They can't be worse than mousy half-devils."

*Beware The Gerbil Death Squad*

"They tried to kill me unsuccessfully multiple times.  Saw me as competition.  They've taken over a local village and hired killers to come after me."

"Sounds like you were a little too successful."

"Wait, they've hired killers?  Already?  What are we still doing here?"

----------


## Bhu

*Rabid Hushpupy Swarm*
                      Fine Construct (Swarm)
*Hit Dice:*             9d10 (49 hp)
*Initiative:*           +3
*Speed:*                20 ft. (4 squares)
*Armor Class:*          21 (+8 Size, +3 Dex), touch 21, flat-footed 18
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +6/-
*Attack:*               Swarm (2d6 plus poison)
*Full Attack:*          Swarm (2d6 plus poison)
*Space/Reach:*          10 ft./0 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Blind, Rabies, Abject Terror, Distraction
*Special Qualities:*    Construct traits, immune to weapon damage, swarm traits, tremorsense 30 ft.
*Saves:*                Fort +3, Ref +6, Will +3
*Abilities:*            Str 1, Dex 16, Con -, Int -, Wis 11, Cha 1
*Skills:*               -
*Feats:*                -
*Environment:*          Any
*Organization:*         Solitary, Fry (2-4 swarms), or Country Jamboree (7-12 swarms)
*Challenge Rating:*     5
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          None
*Level Adjustment:*    ---

"So let me get this straight, you've made a weapon indistinguishable from food."

"Yessir, the enemy will never see it coming."

"How are we supposed to see it coming?"

"Weeelll..(beeep)..."

"Perhaps you'd like to weaponize the sausages as well...doofus."

Rabid Hushpuppies were created by an inexperienced (drunk) wizard in the Halfling Catering Corps.  They look like normal balls of fried cornmeal, but when approached they suddenly split open, revealing fanged mouths.  How do they move It's magic (plus who really cares when they're charging).

*Blind (Ex):* Hushpuppies have no eyes, and are immune to gaze attacks, visual effects, illusions, and other attack forms that rely on sight. 

*Rabies (Su):* Opponents damaged by the Hushpuppies Swarm attack must make a DC 14 Fortitude Save or be infected with a poison that resembles magical Rabies (Save DC is Con based).  Initial damage is1 temporary point of Constitution.  If the opponent suffers Secondary damage, they become Frenzied, as per the Frenzy ability on page 34 of the Complete Warrior.  This Frenzy lasts for 1d6 rounds, or until removed by magic.

*Abject Terror (Ex):* Opponents subject to the Hushpuppies Swarm attack must make a DC 14 Willpower Save or be Shaken for 1d6 rounds (Save DC is Cha based with a +5 Racial Bonus).  This only works on opponents with less Hit Dice than the Swarm.

*Distraction (Ex):* Any living creature that begins its turn with a Hushpuppy swarm in its space must succeed on a DC 14 Fortitude save or be nauseated for 1 round. The save DC is Constitution-based. 

*Combat:* Hushpuppies tend to blindly charge at whatever they sense.  They aren't known for being very bright.



*Rabid Hushpuppy Swarm*
"Who did they hire Prak?"

*Spicy Cornmeal*
"Why are there hushpuppies on the floor?"

"Crap.  They've hired the Halfling Catering Corps."

"Those aren't hushpuppies are they?"

"Cube of force is at the ready."

*Their Venom Mimics The Famous Disease*

"They're venomous, and hunt by vibration."

"Whats the plan?"

"Don't worry, I painted the floors and walls in explosive lacquer in case of this eventuality."

"Um...what?"

----------


## Bhu

*Banana Muffin Swarm*
                      Diminutive Construct (Swarm)
*Hit Dice:*             12d10 (66 hp)
*Initiative:*           +0
*Speed:*                5 ft. (1 squares)
*Armor Class:*          15 (+4 Size, +1 Natural), touch 14, flat-footed 15
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +9/-
*Attack:*               Swarm (3d6)
*Full Attack:*          Swarm (3d6)
*Space/Reach:*          1 ft./0 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Distraction, Psilike Abilities
*Special Qualities:*    Construct Traits, Blindsight 60 ft., Swarm traits, Immune to Weapon damage, Blind, Teleport, Telepathy 100 ft.
*Saves:*                Fort +4, Ref +4, Will +7
*Abilities:*            Str 1, Dex 10, Con -, Int 16, Wis 16, Cha 16
*Skills:*               Concentration +15, Hide +27, Knowledge (Psionics) +18, Listen +18, Psicraft +18
*Feats:*                Combat Manifestation, Greater Psionic Endowment, Narrow Mind, Psionic Endowment, Psionic Meditation
*Environment:*          Any
*Organization:*         Solitary
*Challenge Rating:*     7
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          ---
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_"Bert...the muffins are following us..."_

_"How much shine you had today?"_

No one knows who or what came up with Banana Muffin Swarms.  Fiendishly insidious they simply set in plain sight, teleporting about when people aren't looking or when something attempts to eat them.  Conspiracy theories about their origins and intents abound, but no one has ever caught them to interrogate them.  Banana Muffins understand common and 3 other languages.

*Distraction (Ex)*: Any living creature vulnerable to the swarms damage that begins it's turn in the same square as a Swarm must make a DC 16 Fortitude Save (Save DC is Constitution based) or be Nauseated for 1 round.  Spellcasting or concentrating on a spell within the swarms area requires a Concentration Check (DC is 20 plus spell level).  Using skills that require patience or concentration requires a DC 20 Concentration check.

*Psilike Abilities (Ps)*: At will: Choose any 3 first level powers from the Psion list.  3/day: Choose two powers each from the 2nd and 3rd level powers on the Psion list.  1/day: Insanity.  Manifester level is equal to Hit Dice.

*Blind (Ex):* Banana Muffin Swarms are immune to gaze attacks, visual effects, illusions, and other attack forms that rely on sight.

*Teleport (Su)*: At will as a Move Action Muffin Swarms may teleport up to 30 ft. in any direction.

*Combat*: Combat tactics for the Muffins vary widely depending on their individual powers.  Most involve stealth or mind control somehow though.



*Banana Muffin Swarm*
"Less than 24 hours back on the job and we've already burned down a tower..."

*Psychic Baked Goods*
"I have to say, you make life interesting Prak."

"Was that plate of muffins always there?"

"No one leaves a plate of muffins in the forest..."

"Halfling Catering Corps?"

*Weirdest Idea The Halflings Ever Had*

"You got a fireball Harlan?"

"I'm more of a teleport man."

"Now might be a good time."

----------


## Metastachydium

> *Carnivorous Jungle Death Penguin Swarm*


Carnivorous jungle death penguins for the win!




> *Abilities:* Str 2, Dex 10, Con 12, Int 2, Wis 14, Cha 2


All the stupid rodents ended up with nice INT scores and the penguins (_and_ the turtles) must make do with a 2. Now I'm sad.




> *Skills:* Hide +10, Jump +16, Listen +5, Spot +5, Survival +6, Swim +8


I count 4 too many skill points spent. (The STR penalty to Swim was forgotten, perhaps?)




> In the afterlife the Gods and Fiends both pretty much rejected Humphrey's soul, and at this moment it seems likely he will become a Vestige. A sad, penguiny Vestige.


Okay, a penguin-themed vestige called Humphrey Billingsworth III is something I didn't, until now, know the world needs, but _it does_.




> *Mysterious Magical Maniacal Miniaturized Moose Swarm*
> 
> ()
> 
> *Saves:* Fort +11


Fort should be +10.




> *Abilities:* Str 6, Dex 16, Con 10, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 6
> *Skills:* Hide +10, Listen +8, Spot +8


A Tiny creature with a DEX of 16 can't have a Hide modifier lower than +11. 

5 skill points remain available.




> *Alignment:* Usually Chaotic Neutral


INT 2 and CN alignment are a weird combo.




> http://fxb.worth1000.com/entries/560477/fish-fur
> 
> *Swarm Fish*
>                       Diminutive Magical Beast (Swarm, Aquatic)
> *Hit Dice:*             6d8 (27 hp)


6d10 (33 hp) (<Magical Beast).




> *Special Qualities:*    Dark Vision 60 ft., Swarm Traits, Immune to Weapon Damage, Adoption, Planar Adaptation, Plane Shift


So, um, these are Aquatic subtype fish things and not explicitly Amphibious. How do they survive out of the water?




> *Organization:*         Solitary
> 
> ()
> 
> *Adoption (Ex)*: Swarm Fish will bond to and adopt any Humanoid who allows them to be enveloped for 24 hours by them.  They will keep pace with, and hover about, that individual giving it partial concealment, as well as sharing their +1 Deflection Bonus to AC with it.  They will stay with that person as long as they are treated well and have plenty of food.  Despite rumors of starving Swarm Fish eating their adoptee this has never been proven.


That's one mighty neat concept! Shouldn't the Organization line read Solitary or solitary plus adoptee, though?




> *Mad Turtle Swarm*


Cute!




> *Hold Breath (Ex)*: Turtle Swarms may hold their breath for (8 times Con Modifier) rounds before it risks drownings.


Did you mean: CON _score_ (or why can diseased high elven sorcerer outlast the turtles underwater?)




> *Vorpal Shrew Swarm*
> 
> ()
> 
> *Organization:* Solitary, Pair, Mob (2-4 Swarms), Big Mob (10-15 swarms)


What's the difference between a pair and a 2-members mob?




> *Devil Mice Swarm*
> 
> ()
> 
> *Skills:* Balance +13, Bluff +5, Climb +16, Hide +17, Iintimidate +2, Listen +7, Move Silently +12, Spot +7


6 skill points remain available!




> *Organization:* Solitary, Pair, Mob (2-4 Swarms), Big Mob (10-15 swarms)


What's the difference between a pair and a 2-members mob?




> *Challenge Rating:* 8


I think either the shrews are over- or these guys are under-CRed.




> *Banana Muffin swarm*
>                       Diminutive Construct (Swarm)
> *Hit Dice:*             12d10 (66 hp)
> *Initiative:*           +0
> *Speed:*                5 ft. (1 squares)
> *Armor Class:*          15 (+4 Size, +1 Natural), touch 14, flat-footed 15
> *Base Attack/Grapple:*  +9/-
> *Attack:*               Swarm (3d6)
> *Full Attack:*          Swarm (3d6)
> ...


I think either the hushpuppies are over- or these guys are under-CRed.

----------


## Bhu

> All the stupid rodents ended up with nice INT scores and the penguins (_and_ the turtles) must make do with a 2. Now I'm sad.


  They weren't done with a mind towards intelligent swarms.  I'l do that Vestige as a way of making it up to you.

I addressed the rest other than CR which i need to think on.  Next week may be all 16 hour days at work, so i may be late posting.

Edit: ok, check the penguin swarm

----------


## Metastachydium

> They weren't done with a mind towards intelligent swarms.  I'l do that Vestige as a way of making it up to you.
> 
> I addressed the rest other than CR which i need to think on.  Next week may be all 16 hour days at work, so i may be late posting.
> 
> Edit: ok, check the penguin swarm


Alright, Sir! That's a laugh I direly needed. All is forgiven! (Though now I'll have to find a homebrew friendly game just to play a Binder with that.) May you be wrong regarding your projected workload, and have strength if you aren't!

----------


## Bhu

*Giant Tick*
Tiny Vermin
*HitDice:* 1/2d8+2 (4 hp)
*Initiative:* + 0
*Speed:* 20 ft. (4 squares), climb 10 ft.
*Armor Class:* 14 (+2 Size Bonus, +2 Natural armor Bonus), touch 12, flat-footed 14
*Base Attack/Grapple:* +0/ -12 (+0 if attached)
*Attack:* Touch +2 melee (Attach)
*Full Attack:* Touch +2 melee (Attach)
*Space/Reach:* 2 ½ ft./ 0 ft.
*Special Attacks:* Attach, blood drain, Disease
*Special Qualities:* Dark Vision 60 ft. Scent, Vermin Traits
*Saves:* Fort +4, Ref +0. Will +0
*Abilities:* Str 3, Dex 10, Con 14, Int --, Wis 10, Cha 2
*Skills:* Hide + 12, Spot +4
*Feats:* Weapon Finesse (B)
*Environment:* Any Temperate or Warm Mountains, Hills, Plains, Marsh, or Forest
*Organization:* Solitary or Colony (8-16)
*Challenge Rating:* 1/4
*Alignment:* Always Neutral
*Advancement:* ---
*Level Adjustment:* ---

Small Vermin
*Hit Dice:* 1d8+2 (6hp)
*Initiative:* +0
*Speed:* 30 ft. (6 squares), Climb 20 ft.
*Armor Class:* 14 (+1 Size, +3 Natural), touch 11, flat-footed 14
*Base Attack/Grapple:* + 0/ -5 (+7 if attached)
*Attack:* Touch + 1 melee (Attach)
*Full Attack:* Touch +1 melee (Attach)
*Space/Reach:* 5 ft./ 5 ft.
*Special Attacks:* Attach, Blood Drain, Disease
*Special Qualities:* Dark Vision 60 ft., Scent, Vermin Traits
*Saves:* Fort +4, Ref +0, Will +0
*Abilities:* Str 9, Dex 10, Con 14, Int --, Wis 10, Cha 2
*Skills:* Hide + 8, Spot +4
*Feats:* Weapon Finesse (B)
*Organization:* Solitary, Colony (2-5), or Swarm (6-11)
*Challenge Rating:* 1/2

Medium Vermin
*Hit Dice:* 2d8+4 (13 hp)
*Initiative:* +0
*Speed:* 40 ft. (8 squares), Climb 20 ft.
*Armor Class:* 14 (+4 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 14
*Base Attack/Grapple:* +1/+6
*Attack:* Bite +2 melee (1d6+1)
*Full Attack:* Bite +2 melee (1d6+1)
*Space/Reach:* 5 ft./ 5 ft.
*Special Attacks:* Improved Grab, Blood Drain, Disease
*Special Qualities:* Dark Vision 60 ft., Scent, Vermin Traits
*Saves:* Fort +5, Ref +0, Will +0
*Abilities:* Str 13, Dex 10, Con 14, Int --, Wis 10, Cha 2
*Skills:* Hide: +4, Spot +4
*Feats:* -
*Organization:* Solitary, Colony (2-5), or Swarm (6-11)
*Challenge Rating:* 1
*Advancement:* 3 HD (Medium)

Large Vermin
*Hit Dice:* 4d8+8 (26 hp)
*Initiative:* +0
*Speed:* 50 ft. (10 squares), Climb 30 ft.
*Armor Class:* 16 (-1 Size, +7 Natural), touch 9, flat-footed 16
*Base Attack/Grapple:* +3/+15
*Attack:* Bite +6 melee (1d8+4)
*Full Attack:* Bite +6 melee (1d8+4)
*Space/Reach:* 10 ft./ 5 ft.
*Special Attacks:* Improved Grab, Blood Drain, Disease
*Special Qualities:* Dark Vision 60 ft. Scent, Vermin Traits
*Saves:* Fort +6, Ref +1, Will +1
*Abilities:* Str 19, Dex 10, Con 14, Int --, Wis 10, Cha 2
*Skills:* Hide +0 , Spot +4
*Feats:* -
*Organization:* Solitary, Colony (2-5), or Swarm (6-11)
*Challenge Rating:* 2
*Advancment:* 5-7 HD (Large)

Huge Vermin
*Hit Dice:* 8d8+24 (60 hp)
*Initiative:* +0
*Speed:* 50 ft.(10 squares), Climb 30 ft.
*Armor Class:* 20 (-2 Size, +12 Natural), touch 8, flat-footed 20
*Base Attack/Grapple:* +6/+24
*Attack:* Bite +10 melee (2d6+6)
*Full Attack:* Bite +10 melee (2d6+6)
*Space/Reach:* 15 ft./ 10 ft.
*Special Attacks:* Blood Drain, Improved Grab, Disease
*Special Qualities:* Dark Vision 60 ft., Scent, Vermin Traits
*Saves:* Fort +9, Ref +2, Will +2
*Abilities:* Str 23, Dex 10, Con 16, Int --, Wis 10, Cha 2
*Skills:* Hide -4 , Spot +4
*Feats:* -
*Organization:* Solitary, Colony (2-5), or Swarm (6-11)
*Challenge Rating:* 5
*Advancement:* 9-16 HD (Huge)

_"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!! GITITOFFMEGITIEOFFMEGITITOFFME!!!!"_

I'd add a description here but lets face it you all know what Ticks are.

*Attach (Ex):* Small or smaller Ticks may make a touch attack to attach themselves to an opponent. It loses it's Dexterity bonus to AC, and may be grappled or struck with a weapon. To remove an attached Tick through grappling you must Pin it.

*Improved Grapple (Ex):* Medium or larger Ticks that successfully hit with a Bite attack may immediately make a Grapple check as a Free Action without provoking an attack of opportunity. If it is successful it may use it's blood drain.

*Blood Drain (Ex):* A Tick does 1d4 temporary Constitution damage per round it is attached (if Small or smaller) or round it successfully maintains a Grapple (if Medium or larger). Once a Tick drains a specific amount of Constitution it drops off and leaves the area. Tiny=4 Con, Small=6 Con, Medium=9 Con, Large=13 Con, Huge=19 Con.

*Disease (Ex):* Any living creature successfully bitten by the Tick (if medium or bigger), or that it successfully attaches to (if Small or smaller) must make a Fortitude or contract the Red Ache disease (see DMG page 292). Save DC is 12 for Tiny or Small, 13 for Medium, 14 for Large, and 17 for Huge.

*Skills:* Ticks receive a +4 Racial Bonus to Hide and Spot checks. Medium or Larger Ticks have a +4 Racial Bonus to Grapple checks. Tiny or Small Ticks have a +12 Racial Bonus to Grapple checks.

*Combat:* Grapple and suck, pretty much like real life Ticks.



*Giant Tick*

"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens! Today on Wild Kingdom, Jim and I will be showing you Cosmiomma Immanis, better known as the Giant Forest Tick!"

"I've never liked these things...

"Very few people do Jim."

"Our viewers should know these Giant Ticks are more prone to carrying disease than their smaller cousins."

"Pretty much.  Poor thing will have to fight for it's life before being melted."

*Terrors of the Forest*

"I think it's seen us."

"I have a fireball ready.."

"I thought you were more of a teleport man?"


*Thankfully They Don't Spawn as Quickly as Normal Ticks*

"I too, do not like Ticks."

"Now Harlan, our show is so that people will want to preserve nature because we expose them to it."

----------


## Bhu

*Vampiric Vermin*

This is an Acquired Template that can be applied to any Vermin of Medium Size or bigger that has a Bite or Proboscis attack (or any Awakened Vermin that is now a Magical Beast).  Vampiric Vermin are usually created by magical ritual, and are used as shock troops by evil Druids turned Blighter, and necromancer Wizards.  Sometimes Clerics too.  They aren't usually well controlled, and are left to their own devices to destroy the surrounding countryside in preparations for their masters plan.  Of course their master may then have to put down his creation if he can't bring it to heel.

*Size and Type:* Type becomes Undead. 

*Hit Dice:* All current and future Hit Dice become d12's, and hit points are recalculated. 

*Speed:* The base creature gains a Burrow speed equal to half it's base land speed in order to avoid the sun.

*Armor Class:* Base Creatures Natural Armor Bonus increases by +6.

*Attacks:* Unchanged.

*Damage:* Unchanged.

*Special Attacks:* Retains all Special Attacks of base Creature and gains the following:

*Blood Drain (Ex):* If a Vampiric Vermin pins it's opponent in a Grapple, it does it's Bite damage each round as well as draining 1d4 Con.  On each such successful attack, the vampire gains 5 temporary hit points. 

*Attract Swarms (Su):* Swarms of Vermin seem attracted to Vampiric Vermin. There will always be 1d6 Swarms of some kind of vermin near a Vampiric Vermin that attack it's foes. As long as they remain within 60 ft they share the Vampiric Vermins Immunity to Cold.  As long as they are within 30 feet of the Vampiric Vermin, they are under it's control in a manner similar to the Dominate Monster spell.

*Create Spawn (Su):* Any Vermin applicable to apply this template to that is killed by a Vampiric Vermin becomes one in 1d4 days.

*Energy Drain (Su):* Living creatures struck by the Vampiric Vermins Natural Weapons gain 2 negative levels. It can only use this ability once per round.

*Special Qualities:* Retains any Special Qualities of the Base Creature and gains the following:

*Damage Reduction (Su):* Vampiric Vermin gain Damage Reduction 10/Silver and Magic

*Fast Healing (Ex):* Vampiric Vermin gain Fast Healing 5.

*Immunities:* Vampiric Vermin are Immune to Cold.

*Turn Resistance (Ex):* Vampiric Vermin have +4 Turn Resistance.

*Spider Climb (Ex):* Vampiric Vermin can climb surfaces as though with the Spider Climb spell.

*Saves:* Unchanged, but need to be recalculated due to ability score changes.

*Abilities:* +8 Str, +4 Dex, Wis +4, Cha +4, Con becomes -

*Skills:* Vampiric Vermin have a +8 Racial Bonus on Hide, Listen, Move Silently, Search, and Spot checks.

*Feats:* Vampiric Vermin gain Alertness, Dodge, Great Fortitude, Improved Initiative, and Lightning Reflexes as Bonus Feats.

*Environment:* Any, usually Unchanged.

*Organization:* Solitary, plus 1d6 Swarms

*Challenge Rating:* Same as Base Creature +2, plus the CR of it's swarms

*Treasure:* None

*Alignment:* Always Neutral Evil

*Advancement:* unchanged

*Level Adjustment:* Same as base Creature +8 (only applies if Base Creature has been Awakened)

Note:  Vampiric Vermin share all the weaknesses of the Vampire template.

Example of creature using template here:

*Vampire Tick*
Huge Undead
*Hit Dice:* 8d12 (52 hp)
*Initiative:* +6
*Speed:* 50 ft. (10 squares), Climb 30 ft., Burrow 25 ft.
*Armor Class:* 28 (-2 Size, +2 Dex, +18 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 26
*Base Attack/Grapple:* +6/+28
*Attack:* Bite +14 melee (2d6+10 plus disease plus energy drain)
*Full Attack:* Bite +14 melee (2d6+10 plus disease plus energy drain)
*Space/Reach:* 15 ft./10 ft.
*Special Attacks:* Blood Drain, Create Spawn, Energy Drain, Attract Swarms, Improved Grab, Disease
*Special Qualities:* Scent, Undead Traits, Dark Vision 60 ft., Damage Reduction 10/Silver and Magic, Fast Healing 5, Immune to Cold, Turn Resistance, Spider Climb
*Saves:* Fort +8, Ref +6, Will +4
*Abilities:* Str 31, Dex 14, Con -, Int -, Wis 14, Cha 6
*Skills:* Hide +2, Listen +12, Move Silently +10, Search +8, Spot +12
*Feats:* Alertness (B), Dodge (B), Great Fortitude (B), Improved Initiative (B), and Lightning Reflexes (B).
*Environment:* Any
*Organization:* Solitary
*Challenge Rating:* 7
*Treasure:* None
*Alignment:* Neutral Evil
*Advancement:* -
*Level Adjustment:* ----


_"Maw...the giant bug outside says I have to let him eat you..."_

"Damn them Druids!  Ah tole 'em don't awaken the bug critters, cause thats how you get vampires!"



*Giant Vampire Tick*

"Wait, where is it off to?"

"Hard ticks are somewhat diurnal, maybe it's headed home.  The sun is going down."

"When perfectly good food is available?"

"Wait, there's another one over there.  Bigger too."

"Bigger, and with glowing red eyes.  We've got trouble Jim."

*Undead Bioweapons*

"Thic Tick has clearly been modified somehow."

"These woods must have a Necromancer, look at the exoskeleton.  That Tick is Undead.."

"We'll have to go report this."


*Even Nastier If They're Awakened First*

"What's that thing doing?"

"That looks like a summoning spell..."

----------


## Bhu

*Tick Swarm*
Fine Vermin
*Hit Dice:* 6d8 (27 hp)
*Initiative:* +2
*Speed:* 20 ft. (4 squares), climb 20 ft.
*Armor Class:* 20 (+8 Size, +2 Dex), touch 20, flat-footed 18
*Base Attack/ Grapple:* +4/ -
*Attack:* 2d6 plus Blood Drain plus disease
*Space/Reach:* 10 ft./ 0 ft.
*Special Attacks:* Distraction, Anesthetize, Blood Drain, Disease
*Special Qualities:* Dark Vision 60 ft. Immune to Weapon Damage, swarm traits, Scent, Vermin Traits
*Saves:* Fort +5, Ref +4, Will +2
*Abilities:* Str 1, Dex 14, Con 10, Int --, Wis 10, Cha 2
*Skills:* Hide +22, Spot + 4
*Feats:* ---
*Environment:* Any Warm or Temperate 
*Organization:* Solitary, Tangle (2-4 swarms), or Infestation (7-12 swarms)
*Challenge Rating:* 4
*Treasure:* None
*Alignment:* Always Neutral
*Advancement:* None
*Level Adjustment:* ---


_"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!  !!"_

Tick Swarms regularly kill Giraffes.

*Anesthetize (Ex):* A creature attacked by a Tick Swarm must make a Spot check vs it's Hide check to notice it is being attacked if it is in grasses or vegetation higher than half the victims height. Each round of blood drain gains the victim another Spot roll with a cumulative +2 Bonus per round after the first. Creatures attacked by Tick Swarms in open areas or who have some means of detecting them other than sight can see them normally.

*Blood Drain (Ex):* Any creature damaged by the Tick Swarm loses 1 point of Constitution per round until he exits the Swarm and spends one full round pulling the Ticks off his body.

*Disease (Ex):* Any creature damaged by the Tick Swarm must make a DC 13 Fort Save or contract the Red Ache disease (see page 292 of the DMG).

*Skills:* Ticks receive a +4 Racial Bonus to Hide and Spot checks. 

*Combat:* They're Ticks.  No explanation necessary, we all know what the sneaky little monsters do.  Brrr...



*Tick Swarm*

"It appears to be calling up swarms of Ticks..."

"Those look like Ixodes Scapularis, the Deer Tick."

"What kind of Undead usually does summoning that we know of besides Vampires?"

"It's a Tick, it could very well be a Vampire."

"Thankfully it's swarms can't get through the forcewall."

*Can Take Down Prey of Any Size*

"I still wouldn't be flipping it off if I were you."

"I want to see if it reacts to common insults."

"Harlan..."


*As Nasty As It Gets*

"What?  I'm testing to see if it's intelligent."

"Just make with the Teleport already."

----------


## Bhu

*"Holy (beep) is that a Mosquito?"*
                      Medium Vermin
*Hit Dice:*             2d8+2 (11 hp)
*Initiative:*           +3
*Speed:*                10 ft. (2 squares), Fly 80 ft., Good
*Armor Class:*          15 (+3 Dex, +2 Natural), touch 13, flat-footed 12
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +1/+5
*Attack:*               Proboscis +4 melee (1d6 plus disease)
*Full Attack:*          Proboscis +4 melee (1d6 plus disease)
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Blood Drain, Improved Grab, Anesthesia, Disease
*Special Qualities:*    Dark Vision 60 ft., Vermin traits, Improved Scent
*Saves:*                Fort +4, Ref +3, Will +1
*Abilities:*            Str 11, Dex 16, Con 12, Int -, Wis 12, Cha 2
*Skills:*               Spot +5, Survival +5 (+7 track by scent)
*Feats:*                Weapon Finesse (B)
*Environment:*         Any Warm or Temperate
*Organization:*         Solitary or Swarm (3-10)
*Challenge Rating:*     2
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          3-4 HD (Medium)
*Level Adjustment:*     --


_"Bert...wake up Bert...it's on mah face...I need hep dammit..."_

All jungles have mosquitoes.  Some of them have reeeeally big mosquitoes.  Mosquitoes who are capable of defending themselves from fly swatters.  

*Blood Drain (Ex):* Each round the Mosquito has a victim Pinned in a Grapple it does 1 point of temporary Constitution damage.  It will leave after it has drained 8 Constitution and become full.

*Improved Grab (Ex):* If the Mosquito succeeds with it's Proboscis attack it may immediately make a Grapple Check as a Free Action without provoking an Attack of Opportunity.  Mosquitoes gain a +4 Racial Bonus to Grapple Checks.

*Anesthesia (Ex):* If the Mosquito attacks a sleeping or unaware victim (flat-footed) they must make a DC 12 Fortitude Save to realize the attack is happening due to the numbing effect of the Mosquitoes bite.  Save DC is Constitution Based.  Granted if they're awake the attack will probably become quickly obvious after that initial round.

*Disease (Ex):* West Nile virusbite. Fortitude save (DC 12) negates; incubation period 1d4 days; initial damage 1 Dex and 1 Con; secondary damage 1d2 Dex (temporary) and 1d2 Con (temporary or permanent).

*Improved Scent (Ex):* As the Scent ability listed on page 314 of the Monster Manual, but the Mosquito can smell blood up to 1 mile away.

*Skills (Ex):* Mosquitoes gain a +4 Racial Bonus to Spot and Survival checks (+6 to Survival when tracking by Scent).

*Combat:* Mosquitoes plan to fly straight up, grapple, suck, and fly away as fast as they can.  Then come back in a few hours if they're still hungry.  If attacked they will fly away and follow the prey attacking again when it is unaware later.  Damn skeeters...



*Giant Mosquito*

"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens! Today on Wild Kingdom, Jim and I will be showing you Aedes Magnus, better known as the Giant Forest Mosquito!"

"I'm beginning to understand why this is called Bad Critter Forest.  Everything drinks blood."

"This species even cannibalizes it's own Jim"

"Thanks Harlan, that's sure to make me sleep more soundly.."

"Thankfully we're smaller than their usual prey."

*Mostly Diurnal*

"That hasn't stopped them from swarming the forcewall."

"Studies of them are important.  They're a common vector for disease among the Forest Giant population."

"Wait, there are Giants here?"


*Also Prone To Vampirism*

"Don't worry, they aren't Anthropophagus."

"Harlan, I'm a Ranger.  We have a reputation among Giantkind.."

----------


## Bhu

*Hairbeasts*
                      Large Aberration
*Hit Dice:*             5d8+10 (32 hp)
*Initiative:*           +2
*Speed:*                40 ft. (8 squares)
*Armor Class:*          15 (-1 Size, +2 Dex, +4 Natural), touch 11, flat-footed 13
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +3/+11
*Attack:*               Yorp! +6 melee touch (grapple)
*Full Attack:*          Yorp! +6 melee touch (grapple)
*Space/Reach:*          10 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Yorp!
*Special Qualities:*    Blind, Blindsight 60 ft., Damage Reduction 10/Slashing
*Saves:*                Fort +3, Ref +3, Will +6
*Abilities:*            Str 18, Dex 15, Con 15, Int 3, Wis 14, Cha 12
*Skills:*               Listen +10
*Feats:*                Endurance, Run
*Environment:*          Any
*Organization:*         Solitary, Pair, or Group (3-6)
*Challenge Rating:*     3
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          6-10 HD (Large)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_"Bert ah know we wanted somethin' differnt this time out...but this is just weird..."_

_"Relax Abner.  Ah brought mah cuzin Joe Bob along to get his feet wet helpin' out.  He's one'a them psychic types."_

_"FIRE!!"_

_"Beg pardon?'_

_"FIRE IS THE ANSWER TO ALL OF LIFES PROBLEMS!!"_

_"Bert...I'm not exactly reassured by his...enthusiasm..."_

Hairbeasts (also known as Dire Hairs) are strange critters that seem to be composed entirely of hair.  What they eat, how they reproduce, and how they came to be is virtually unknown.  They are trainable as mounts, but their handlers don't seem very keen to give up their secrets as to how to train them, or what they might know of their origin.  Hairbeasts apparently understand commands in Common, but cannot speak.  They have been known to howl, bark, purr, or growl though.

*Yorp! (Ex)*: If the Hairbeast makes a successful touch attack it is considered to be grappling it's opponent.  It's hairs work their way into it's opponents eyes and facial orifices during grapples, and each round the grapple is maintained the opponent must make a DC 14 Fortitude Save (Save DC is Constitution based) or be Blinded and Sickened for as long as the Grapple continues and for 1d3 rounds thereafter (he also cannot speak for the duration of the grapple and 1 round thereafter).  The Hairbeast does 1d4+4 damage with a successful grapple as well.  Hairbeasts may use their Yorp! attack as part of a charge.

*Blind (Ex)*: Hairbeasts are Blind, with immunity to gaze attacks, visual effects, illusions, and other attack forms that rely on sight. 

*Combat*: Hairbeasts charge into the grapple, and begin wrasslin'.  Sometimes they get bored and take off, but generally you better escape the hold and climb something to escape them.



*Hairbeasts*

"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens! Today on Wild Kingdom, Jim and I will be traveling deep into Bad Critter Forest to show you a rare spider colony!"

"Where did you buy these mounts from Harlan?"

"I got them from the locals Jim"

"Really?  Do tell.."

"There's that sarcasm we all know and love."

*No Discernable Features*

"What even are these things?"

"The seller called them Dire Hairs."

"Are we sure they aren't constructs?"


*Yorp!*

"Their behavior seems organic."

"They definitely seem to like chasing small forest critters."

----------


## Bhu

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theridion_grallator

*Smiley Faced Spider*
                      Medium Magical Beast
*Hit Dice:*             4d10+8 (30 hp)
*Initiative:*           +3
*Speed:*                30 ft. (6 squares), Climb 20 ft.
*Armor Class:*          16 (+3 Dex, +3 Natural), touch 13, flat-footed 13
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +4/+4
*Attack:*               Bite +7 melee (1d6 plus poison)
*Full Attack:*          Bite +7 melee (1d6 plus poison)
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Poison 
*Special Qualities:*    Darkvision 60 ft., Mind Shield
*Saves:*                Fort +6, Ref +7, Will +3
*Abilities:*            Str 11, Dex 17, Con 15, Int 12, Wis 14, Cha 12
*Skills:*               Climb +8, Hide +7, Jump +8, Knowledge (Nature) +5, Listen +7, Move Silently +7, Search +3, Spot +7, Survival +7
*Feats:*                Ability Focus (Poison), Weapon Finesse
*Environment:*          Warm Forest
*Organization:*         Solitary
*Challenge Rating:*     3
*Treasure:*             Standard
*Alignment:*            Usually Neutral
*Advancement:*          5-8 HD (Medium)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_"Abner...that just ain't right."_

_"Ah never liked mages."_

Smiley Faced Spiders are definitely magically engineered.  The bizarre nature of their appearance and abilities leaves little other option.  The identity of their original creator is unknown, but they are qute prolific in a jungle that was temporarily the home of Prak the Mad...  Smiley Faced Spiders are large, lime green spiders with markings on their abdomen that resemble a happy face.  They appear to have ther own language.

*Poison (Su)*: Injury, Fortitude Save DC 16, Initial Damage is identical to the effects of a Tasha's Hideous Laughter spell (Caster Level is equal to the spiders HD), Secondary Damage is 1d6 Wisdom.

*Mind Shield (Ex)*: The Smiley Face Spider permanently has the benefits of a Mind Blank spell (Caster Level equals HD).

*Skills:* Spiders have a +4 racial bonus on Hide and Spot checks and a +8 racial bonus on Climb checks. A Spider can always choose to take 10 on Climb checks, even if rushed or threatened. Spiders use either their Strength or Dexterity modifier for Climb checks, whichever is higher.  They also have a +8 Racial Bonus on Jump Checks.

*Combat*: Smiley Face Spiders try to bite victims as quickly as possible to immobilize them so they can begin eating them alive.



*Smiley Faced Spider*

"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens! Today on Wild Kingdom, Jim and I will be looking at the Smiley Faced Spider!"

"Other than markings, how are these different from any other Giant Spider?"

"I'm told they have a language Jim.  And some very unusual venom."

"Do you have a Tongues spell on  you?  Here come two of them now."

"I got us both potions just in case."

*Prefer To Make Their Prey Die Laughing*

"Well let's chug these and get it over with."

"They appear to be motioning us to drop the forcewall."

"Hey.  Hey there critters."

"pspspspspspspsps"

"We have cookies!'

"I think we should go Harlan..."


*Tricksy*

"We almost got 'em Sam."

"I dunno...the tall one seems like a Ranger...and his tone is sarcastic yet understanding...

"Smile, and look friendly!"

"That was creepy...."

----------


## Bhu

*Darwin Monkey*
                      Small Monstrous Humanoid
*Hit Dice:*             3d8+3 (16 hp)
*Initiative:*           +5
*Speed:*                30 ft. (6 squares), Climb 20 ft.
*Armor Class:*          12 (+1 Size, +1 Dex), touch 12, flat-footed 11
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +3/-2 (+0 when Furious)
*Attack:*               Slap +5 melee (1d3-1)
*Full Attack:*          2 Slaps +5 melee (1d3-1)
*Attack (when Furious):*               Slap +5 melee (1d3+1)
*Full Attack (when Furious):*          2 Slaps +5 melee (1d3+1)
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Fury
*Special Qualities:*    Darkvision 60 ft., Sagely Advice, Stubborn Disbelief
*Saves:*                Fort +2, Ref +4, Will +5
*Abilities:*            Str 8 (12 while Furious), Dex 12, Con 12, Int 18, Wis 14, Cha 14
*Skills:*               Bluff +6, Climb +7 (+9 when Furious), Gather Information +6, Hide +9, Knowledge (any 3) +16, Listen +6, Sense Motive +6, Spot +6, Survival +6
*Feats:*                Improved Initiative, Weapon Finesse
*Environment:*          Warm Forest
*Organization:*         Solitary
*Challenge Rating:*     1
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Neutral
*Advancement:*          4-6 HD 
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

_"Bert...I don't think we shoulda ate those pine cones..."_

_"Why not?  It's all we've got."_

_"I'm seein' monkeys Bert.  Big monkeys with old man faces..."_

_"We see you too peasant.  Get off our land!"_

_"Ha! They remind me of paw! Wait, howcum I can see your hallucinations..."_

Darwin Monkeys are named after an old sage (presumably their discoverer or creator).  Most resemble brown or black furred monkeys of unusual stature, with no tails, and the head of a bearded old man.  Disconcerting to see peering at you from the darkness when you wake in the middle of the night to say the least.  Darwin Monkeys speak Common and 4 languages from other nearby races.

*Fury (Ex)*: Darwin monkeys are slightly unstable, and once they are hurt in combat they become Furious for the rest of the encounter (after which they are exhausted for 1d4 rounds).  While they are Furious anyone successfully struck by their Slap attack must make a DC 12 Fortitude Save (Save DC is Strength Based) or be Stunned 1 round.  They also gain a +4 Bonus to Strength for the duration of their Fury.

*Sagely Advice (Ex)*: Darwin Monkeys effectively have the Bardic Knowledge ability (see page 28 of the PHB), substituting their Hit Dice for Bard Level.

*Stubborn Disbelief (Ex)*: Darwin Monkeys do not traffic with Gawds, and have a +2 Bonus on all Saves against Divine Magic.

*Skills*: Darwin Monkeys have a +8 Racial Bonus to all Climb Checks and all Knowledge Checks.

*Combat*: Darwin Monkeys prefer to hide rather than fight (though their acerbic wit tends to start fights when they're around rather often).  Sometimes when the Fury overtakes them they do put up a rather nasty slapping demonstration.


Improved Familiar Note: The Darwin Monkey may be chosen as a Familiar using the Improved Familiar Feat at 5th level by a neutral caster.




*Darwin Monkeys*

"We are very lost Jim."

"There's a bunch of tiny old men in that tree, perhaps we could ask them."

"It's a trap Jim.  Old men don't live in trees."

"Excuse me, sir?"

"Don't call me sir (beep), I work for a living."

"And we're off to a great start."

*Wise Critters of the Forest*

"Do you know where we are?"

"You're on our lawn (beep)."

"Look, we just want to get back to civilization."

"You saying we aren't civilized?  Well (beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep)!"

"Jebus..."


*Dedicated Antitheists!*

"None of that religious claptrap here (beep).  Turn left, and watch out for the hamsters."

"Hamsters?"

"We'll figure it out along the way Harlan."

----------


## Bhu

*Atlas Hamster*
                      Fine Magical Beast
*Hit Dice:*             6d10+18 (51 hp)
*Initiative:*           +3
*Speed:*                10 ft. (2 squares), Climb 10 ft., Burrow 10 ft., Swim 10 ft.
*Armor Class:*          21 (+8 Size, +3 Dex), touch 21, flat-footed 18
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +6/+16
*Attack:*               Nip +24 melee (10 points)
*Full Attack:*          Nip +24 melee (10 points)
*Space/Reach:*          1/2 ft./0 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Natural Born Wrassler
*Special Qualities:*    Low Light Vision, Darkvision 60 ft., Beast of Burden
*Saves:*                Fort +8, Ref +8, Will +3
*Abilities:*            Str 30, Dex 16, Con 16, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 10
*Skills:*               Climb +18, Hide +19, Jump +11, Listen +6, Move Silently +6, Spot +5, Swim +18
*Feats:*                Endurance, Improved Bull Rush, Power Attack
*Environment:*          Any Temperate or Warm except Aquatic
*Organization:*         Solitary, Pair, Group (3-6), or Colony (10-100)
*Challenge Rating:*     4
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Neutral
*Advancement:*          7-12 HD (Diminutive)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---


_"Abner, that fat mouse is making off with the supplies."_

_"Thet's Sandy's new pet.  Says it ain't no mouse, it's a Hamster.  Named it Charles."_

_"Whut kinda name is that fer a mouse?"_

Atlas Hamsters for once appear to be a completely normal mutation of nature (i.e. no caster will admit to making them).  Originally the scourge of the continent, the super powered Hamsters spread quickly, ruining crops and grain stores.  But an enterprising farmer found out they were easily trainable, and as long as they were well fed they were better pack animals than mules once trained.  

*Natural Born Wrassler (Ex)*: Atlas Hamsters take no Size penalties to Grapple or Trip Checks, and can make a Grapple Checks without provoking an Attack of Opportunity.

*Beast of Burden (Ex):*  Atlas Hamsters are considered to be huge for purposes of determining their carrying abilities.

*Skills*: Atlas Hamsters gain a +4 Racial Bonus to Listen Checks.  They also gain a +8 Racial Bonus to Climb and Swim Checks, and may always Take 10 on a Climb or Swim Check.

*Combat*: Atlas Hamsters usually prefer to Grapple similar sized or not much bigger opponents.  They bite and flee otherwise, but opponents who catch them are in for a helluva surprise.  They will fight to death if cornered or in defense of their young.



*Atlas Hamster*
"It's a good thing we found these caves.  That is one nasty storm."

*Related To Pack Mice?*
"I wonder if those little furballs are the Hamsters that were mentioned earlier?"

"They don't seem frightened of us."

"What are they doing with the Hairbeast?"

*Strong as a Tarrasque*

"YORP!"

"They appear to be carrying it off."

"Time to break out the trail mix and make some new friends..."

----------


## Bhu

*Mad Mad Monke*
                      SMall Magical Beast
*Hit Dice:*             1d10 (5 hp)
*Initiative:*           +3
*Speed:*                20 ft. (4 squares), Climb 20 ft.
*Armor Class:*          15 (+1 Size, +3 Dex, +1 Natural), touch 14, flat-footed 12
*Armor Class (when Raging):*          17 (+1 Size, +3 Dex, +1 Natural, +2 Dodge), touch 16, flat-footed 12
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +1/-2
*Attack:*               Bite +5 melee (1d4+1) or Rock +5 ranged (1d4+1)
*Full Attack:*           Bite +5 melee (1d4+1) and 2 Paws +0 melee (1d3) or Rock +5 ranged (1d4+1)
*Attack (when Raging):*               Bite +5 melee (1d4+3) or Rock +5 ranged (1d4+3)
*Full Attack (when Raging):*           Bite +3 melee (1d4+3) and 3 Paws -2 melee (1d3+1) or 2 Rocks +3 ranged (1d4+3)
*Space/Reach:*          5 ft./5 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Rage, Insult, Argue
*Special Qualities:*    Darkvision 60 ft., Aura of Rage, Scent
*Saves:*                Fort +2, Ref +5 (+7 when Raging), Will +4
*Abilities:*            Str 13 (17 when Raging), Dex 16, Con 11, Int 6, Wis 15, Cha 6
*Skills:*               Balance +3, Climb +9, Listen +4, Spot +4
*Feats:*                Weapon Finesse, Iron Will (B)
*Environment:*          Warm Desert, Forest or Plains
*Organization:*         Solitary or Troop (10-40)
*Challenge Rating:*     1
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Chaotic Neutral
*Advancement:*          2-3 HD (Small)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

"Monkeys gotta die Bert."

"I feel like we've been here before..."

Mad Mad Monkes are actually small apes, with a severe attitude.  They seem to inspire rage in all who see them, and while some blame magic, their own behavior certainly doesn't help.

*Rage (Ex):* Whenever a Monke gets angry it goes into  Rage until the encounter is over.  When the Monke enters a rage, it temporarily gains a +4 bonus to Strength and a +2 dodge bonus to Armor Class and on Reflex saves. While in a Rage, the Monke may make one extra attack in a round at it's highest base attack bonus, but this attack takes a -2 penalty, as does each other attack made that round. This penalty applies for 1 round, so it also affects attacks of opportunity the Monke might make before it's next action.

Their Rage is otherwise identical to the standard barbarian rage in all other ways.

*Insult (Su):* As a Standard Action the Monke can unleash a blistering torrent of insults against a creature within 30 ft.  The opponent must make a DC 12 Willpower Save (Save DC is Wisdom based) or argue back for (3 plus Wisdom modifier) rounds.  Neither the Monke or it's opponent can do anything else during this time, and both lose their Dexterity Bonus to Armor Class.  This is a Language Dependent, Mind Affecting Effect.

*Argue (Su):* As a Standard Action the Monke can argue with an oopponent within 30 ft.  The opponent must make a DC 12 Willpower Save (Save DC is Wisdom based) or take a -1 Morale Penalty to attack and damage rolls (-2 if they attack anyone other than the Monke).  This effect lasts (3 plus Wisdom modifier) rounds.  This is a Language Dependent, Mind Affecting Effect.

*Aura of Rage (Su):* Any being within 30 feet of the Monke that is Raging cannot end it's Rage voluntarily, nor may it distinguish friend from foe (the Monke is not immune to this).  Spells and magical effects that rely on anger are harder to ignore as well (for example Incite Riot, see PHB II).  Any creature within the aura's area of effect takes a -2 Penalty to it's Saving Throw.

*Skills:* Mad Mad Monkes have a +8 racial bonus on Climb checks and can always choose to take 10 on Climb checks, even if rushed or threatened.

*Combat:*  Monkes love to start fights, an really never bother to think it through.



*Mad Mad Monke*

"well, storms over.  Let's get back to it."

"A shame we couldn't spend more time with the Hamsters.  The were fascinating."

"No worries.  I've memorized the location so we can teleport back."

"Hold up.  There's a small ape over there giving us the side eye."

"He's an angry looking fellow."

*No Anger Management Skills*

"HEY!  HEY (BEEP)!  (BEEP) YOUR (BEEP) AND YOUR (BEEEEEP) STANDING ON MY (BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP)!

"Well."

"It's days like this I'm glad I shelled out for that beeper."

"Whats your issue sir?"

"(BEEP)"

*Every Day Is The Jerry Springer Show*

"Don't look now, there are more of them."

"Ranger mode activate!"

----------


## Bhu

*Chainsaw Bear*
                      Large Magical Beast
*Hit Dice:*             8d10+40 (84 hp)
*Initiative:*           +1
*Speed:*                40 ft. (8 squares)
*Armor Class:*          18 (-1 Size, +1 Dex, +8 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 17
*Base Attack/Grapple:*  +8/+21
*Attack:*               Chainsaw +16 melee (2d6+9)
*Full Attack:*          2 Chainsaws +16 melee (2d6+9) and 1 Bite +11 melee (2d8+4)
*Space/Reach:*          10 ft./10 ft.
*Special Attacks:*      Chainsaw Bear!
*Special Qualities:*    Darkvision 60 ft., Scent, DR 10/-
*Saves:*                Fort +11, Ref +7, Will +3
*Abilities:*            Str 28, Dex 13, Con 20, Int 6, Wis 12, Cha 13
*Skills:*               Hide +0, Intimidate +3, Listen +4, Spot +4, Swim +9
*Feats:*                Endurance, Power Attack, Track
*Environment:*          Any
*Organization:*         Solitary, Pair, or Family (3-4)
*Challenge Rating:*     5
*Treasure:*             None
*Alignment:*            Always Chaotic Neutral
*Advancement:*          9-13 HD (Large), 14-27 HD (Huge)
*Level Adjustment:*     ---

"Abner, you feel like we're bein' watched?"

"That I do."

"CHAINSAW BEAR!"

This is a large brown bear that stands on it's hind legs, that has chainsaws for hands.  Their eyes tend to glow red.  I'd go into it's origin, but we all know a Wizard did it.  Probably while under the influence.  Chainsaw Bears speak Common, and usually have a pretty dark sense of humor.

*Chainsaw Bear! (Ex):* The Chainsaw Bear may activate it's chainsaws as a Swift Action.  When activated, the saws make so much noise that the Chainsaw Bear automatically fail all Hide and Move Silently Checks, and the chainsaws threaten a critical on a natural 18-20.  It also gains a +2 Circumstance Bonus to Intimidate Checks.  If the Chainsaw Bear makes a Sunder Attack while it's saws are activated, it is considered to have the Improved Sunder Feat.

*Combat:* Chainsaw Bears like to surprise people before whacking them with their saws.



*Chainsaw Bear*

"Ranger mode activate?"

"Come on now.  You know that was funny."

"Whatever.  At least you chased off the apes, and we're on the road back to civilization."

"We're still in Bad Critter Forest though."

"What is that noise?"

*Chainsaws For Paws*

"CHAINSAW BEAR!"

"It appears to be a bear with clockwork saws for it's front paws indelicately murdering a goat."

"It's good thing we saw it first."

"I wonder how this thing came about?"

"CHAINSAW BEAR!"

*Loves To Surprise You*

"It certainly has an extensive vocabulary..."

"I wonder if it's Prak's, or he has another local rival?"

----------


## Metastachydium

> *Giant Tick*
> 
> ()
> 
> Large Vermin
> *Hit Dice:* 4d8+8 (26 hp)
> *Initiative:* +0
> *Speed:* 50 ft. (10 squares), Climb 30 ft.
> *Armor Class:* 16 (-1 Size, +7 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 16


Touch should be 9.




> Huge Vermin
> *Hit Dice:* 8d8+24 (60 hp)
> *Initiative:* +0
> *Speed:* 50 ft.(10 squares), Climb 30 ft.
> *Armor Class:* 20 (-2 Size, +12 Natural), touch 8, flat-footed 20
> *Base Attack/Grapple:* +6/+20


Grapple's +24 (+6 BAB, +8 size, +6 STR, +4 racial).




> *Vampiric Vermin*
> 
> ()
> 
> *Attract Swarms (Su):* Swarms of Vermin seem attracted to Vampiric Vermin. There will always be 1d6 Swarms of some kind of vermin near a Vampiric Vermin that attack it's foes. As long as they remain within 60 ft they share the Vampiric Vermins Immunity to Cold.  As long as they are within 30 feet of the Vampiric Vermin, they are under it's control in a manner similar to the Dominate Monster spell.


A very elegant way to adapt Dominate Person and Children of the Night onto a vermin chassis, I must say!




> *Abilities:* +8 Str, +4 Dex, Wis +4, Cha +4


A very minor observation (because, you know, it's baked into the type and all that): templates producing Undead tend to point out that CON is gone.




> *Level Adjustment:* Same as base Creature +8


Is LA on a mindless undead creature ever relevant? (Are Vermin with LA even a thing?)




> *Even Nastier If They're Awakened First*


(I don't know about 5e, but in 3.5, an Awakened Vermin'd lose its type and wouldn't qualify for the template anymore. Did 5e change that?)




> *Tick Swarm*
> Fine Vermin
> *Hit Dice:* 6d8 (27 hp)
> *Initiative:* +4


+2 (< DEX 14).




> *Saves:* Fort +5, Ref +4, Int +2


Did you mean: Will +2? (Thing doesn't even have an INT score!)




> "Those look like Isodes Scapularis, the Deer Tick."


(The genus is technically called I_x_odes.)




> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theridion_grallator
> 
> *Smiley Faced Spider*


Don't worry, they said! Be happy, they said! (I like this one.)




> *Skills:*               Climb +8, Hide +7, Jump +8, Listen +7, Move Silently +7, Search +3, Spot +7, Survival +7


4 skill points remain available!




> *Poison (Su)*: Injury, Fortitude Save DC 16, Initial Damage is identical to the effects of a Tasha's Hideous Laughter spell (Caster Level is equal to the spiders HD), Secondary Damage is 1d6 Wisdom.


They just want to bring joy and laughter into the world! (Crazy neurotoxins are the best and this one feels _very_ appropriate.)




> *Darwin Monkey*


Heh. You are one vicious man!




> *Atlas Hamster*
>                       Fine Magical Beast
> *Hit Dice:*             6d10+18 (52 hp)


51 hp.




> *Initiative:*           +2


+3 (< DEX 16).




> *Armor Class:*          20 (+8 Size, +2 Dex), touch 20, flat-footed 18


AC 21 T 21 (+3 DEX).




> *Saves:*                Fort +8, Ref +8, Will +2


Will +3 (2 from HD, +1 WIS).




> *Skills:*               Climb +18, Hide +19, Jump +11, Listen +6, Move Silently +6, Spot +6, Swim +18


I count one too many skill point spent.




> *Feats:*                Endurance


Come on, these guy deserve their other two feats!




> *Advancement:*          2 HD (Diminutive)


I'm fairly confident they don't advance by dropping 4 HD.




> *Natural Born Wrassler (Ex)*: Atlas Hamsters take no Size penalties to Grapple or Trip Checks, and can make a Grapple Checks without provoking an Attack of Opportunity.
> 
> *Beast of Burden (Ex):*  Atlas Hamsters are considered to be huge for purposes of determining their carrying abilities.


These fellers are _wild_. I approve!




> *Mad Mad Monke*
> 
> ()
> 
> *Full Attack (when Raging):*           Bite +3 melee (1d4+3) and 3 Paws -2 melee (1d3) or 2 Rocks +3 ranged (1d4+3)


Paws should get 1d3+1 damage.




> *Aura of Rage (Su):* Any being within 30 feet of the Monke that is Raging cannot end it's Rage voluntarily, nor may it distinguish friend from foe (the Monke is not immune to this).  Spells and magical effects that rely on anger are harder to ignore as well (for example Incite Riot, see PHB II).  Any creature within the aura's area of effect takes a -2 Penalty to it's Saving Throw.


Now I can't help but imagine 40 of these beating each other to death as the PCs look on confused.




> *Chainsaw Bear*


CHAINSAW BEAR!!!!




> Large Magical Beast
> *Hit Dice:*             8d810+40 (84 hp)


Did you mean: 8d810+40 (3284 hp)?




> *Initiative:*           +41


Dan, they are _fast_!




> "It appears to be a bear with clockwork saws for it's front paws indelicately murdering a goat."


I loved everything about these already, but indelicately murdering _goats_ (the plague of this world!) seals the deal.

----------


## Bhu

> Come on, these guy deserve their other two feats!


  Thanks for the usual help with typos.  Sorry about the Hamster it has a lot of last minute revisions to balance it, and I forgot to change things from the increased HD.  I think you'll like the added Feats tho.

I don't know if you keep up on memes, but there's a very appropriate one making the rounds that has inspired a critter you should look for this weekend.  :Small Cool:

----------


## Metastachydium

> Thanks for the usual help with typos.


Any time!




> Sorry about the Hamster it has a lot of last minute revisions to balance it, and I forgot to change things from the increased HD.  I think you'll like the added Feats tho.


Oh, yes. Yes, I do.




> I don't know if you keep up on memes, but there's a very appropriate one making the rounds that has inspired a critter you should look for this weekend.


Hrm. Colour me curious.

----------

