# Forum > Play-by-Post Games > Message Board Games >  Reverse Questioning IV: Gninoitseuq Esrever

## Dire Moose

This is the game where you give the question to the previous posters answer and provide an answer to the unasked question below you.




> Don't you think it's about time we start a new Reverse Questioning thread since we hit fifty pages?
> 
> A new Reverse Questioning thread would solve that.


But Holmes, who killed this man and why did he use a stuffed animal as the murder weapon?

It has been created!

----------


## Caerulea

Weren't you prototyping a device to automatically top nearby pizzas with pineapple? 

There is now!

----------


## Personification

Was there consensus on a thread title?

They can't stop us! We're on a mission from Glod!

----------


## Xihirli

Big brother, why are you driving us into those trees?

Well, when you think about it... no.

----------


## Dire Moose

Would anyone mind if I run this kitten through a microwave?

Head them off at the pass!

----------


## Ironsmith

How are we, an army of two, meant to hold off a force of tens of thousands of orcs?

Goway. Don't want you here no more.

----------


## Caerulea

This television was delicious. You say you have another one in your bedroom? 

Now I can see the inside from the outside!

----------


## Magic_Hat

> Now I can see the inside from the outside!


Did you experience any weird side effects after eating that banana?

Bananas! All the Bananas you possess!

----------


## Xihirli

What do you want for this strawberry?

You make a compelling if _idiotic_ case.

----------


## Dire Moose

And thats why I say drunk driving shouldnt just be legal; it should be encouraged! You do agree with me, right?

There are some things no human being was meant to know.

----------


## Ironsmith

Daddy, where do babies come from?

Well, when in Rome... *does the cha cha slide*

----------


## Xihirli

Dad! Vesuvius is erupting, what do we do!?

That is reprehensible, depraved, and most importantly, highly impractical in this situation.

----------


## Magic_Hat

> That is reprehensible, depraved, and most importantly, highly impractical in this situation.


Would you like me to get nude?

I would do anything for love, but I won't do that.

----------


## Dire Moose

Will you marry me?

That is literally the dumbest idea I have ever heard in my entire life.

----------


## Ironsmith

Swordchucks, yo?

Sorry. Budget cuts.

----------


## Dr.Gunsforhands

Why does your report have a bullet point about, "Bulge t Butts?"

I think that crosses the fine line between, "useless," and, "deliberately cursed."

----------


## Xihirli

How do you like my electric car? It _will_ explode.

Wooorm People Out

----------


## Dire Moose

Why did you steal the parasitic nematodes I was experimenting with?

Thats not just illegal; its disgusting too.

----------


## Lacco

So the game pitch is: you play your D&D 3.5 characters that sit around a table in a tavern, playing D&D 4e game...and we'll use F.A.T.A.L to simulate the whole thing. Exciting, right?

Can't say I haven't been thinking about it, but I'm sure someone would die. Or worse.

----------


## Xihirli

Will you marry me?

Look at your diminished form. You were a wolf once. And now your muzzle has shortened and you can barely breathe. These bipedal creatures have turned you into a trophy to their own madness. You are nothing more than one of their horrid jokes.

----------


## Personification

Ok, I'll help you write your best man speech. What do you have so far? 

I could ask you the same thing! To be clear, I won't, but I just wanted to point out that I _could._

----------


## Dire Moose

Who are you and how did you get into my house? And what are you doing with my pants?

He was really starting to annoy me.

----------


## totadileplayz

Why did you kill that man?

I'm sorry, but I Had to officer.

----------


## paddyfool

Why did you marry that fish?

I had no choice, your honour.

----------


## Magic_Hat

> I had no choice, your honour.


Do you think you're being cute in calling me "honour" all the time despite the fact I'm not a judge?

Because that's what friends are for!

----------


## Kerching

Why did you just eat my goldfish?

I like trains.

----------


## Magic_Hat

> I like trains.


What could I buy you to make you forgive me for eating your goldfish?

I had to do it to buy that train.

----------


## paddyfool

Why did you sell your own mother into slavery?

I had to do it to free his mother.

----------


## Caerulea

So why'd you topple the monarchy?

Well I really wanted power.

----------


## Kerching

Why did you eat batteries and guzzle gasoline?

To strike terror in the hearts of cowardly and superstitious criminals.

----------


## paddyfool

Why do you get dressed up in a costume and run around at night with a child?

I like to pretend every day is Halloween!

----------


## Xihirli

What? No, I don't have any candy! Why are you at my house!?

The saddest kind of fear is fear not of what you don't know, but of what you won't know.

----------


## Magic_Hat

> The saddest kind of fear is fear not of what you don't know, but of what you won't know.


Why do you always eat your fortune cookies before you eat your Chinese takeout?

Ketchup and mustard!

----------


## totadileplayz

What would you like on your hot dog?

Relish, and The Blood of my Enemies!

----------


## Velaryon

What's the daily special at the pizza place across the street?

No, and I'm offended that you would even ask that.

----------


## Pex

Did you get your handlename as tribute to the movie Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets?

Oh, I suppose.

----------


## Xihirli

Want to set Oklahoma aflame?

The four deadly sins: Greed, Sloth, Gluttony, and Gum-chewing.

----------


## Dire Moose

I demand to know what Im being charged with!

Absolutely guilty, Your Honor!

----------


## Lacco

So... you beat up the guy with a rotten fish just because he played Friday by Rebecca Black on repeat for two days straight. Do you plead guilty in the case of aggravated assault? 

No, it was an accident with a time machine and flock of geese!

----------


## EmmyNecromancer

Did you break that ancient plate on purpose? It was so valuable!

Authorities suggest that it was stolen by a pirate/ninja gang.

----------


## totadileplayz

Mayor What Happened to your Ego?

The Most Rotten of Cheese.

----------


## Xihirli

Who could be behind this string of museum robberies!?

And a half!

----------


## Personification

> Who could be behind this string of museum robberies!?
> 
> And a half!


What's the wifi password?

Yes I know it's lazy, but I am trying to save the thread from confusion induced annihilation!

----------


## Velaryon

Why did you take the sewing machine away from those drunk people?

Honestly, I don't even know anymore.

----------


## Caerulea

The hell is happening right now? 

It's a track.

----------


## Dr.Gunsforhands

What are you listening to?

Oh no, I forgot!

----------


## Lacco

Did you take your memory enhancing pills?

Oh yeah, I forgot!

----------


## Xihirli

Did you steal Dr. Gunsforhands's memory pills?

That is when I wore my vow of eternal vengeance upon you!

----------


## paddyfool

Do you remember when I wrote that code to randomly delete the letter "s" from sentences that you write?

I didn't see nuffink, guvner.

----------


## Dire Moose

Guards! The reality warper who makes everyone around him talk in stupid stereotypical accents is loose! Which way did he go?

Please not now; were running low on D-class personnel already.

----------


## Caerulea

Did we always have that broom closet full of cats? 

We can always find more at the orphanage.

----------


## Magic_Hat

> We can always find more at the orphanage.


Where's a good place to find depressing material for stories?

Thirty-seven of 'em!

----------


## totadileplayz

How many SCPs escaped? 

To stop the containment breach!

----------


## Dire Moose

Why in the name of the gods did you just release SCP-682?

Im gonna need more rope.

----------


## Velaryon

Have you tied up the prisoners yet?

Not until they tell us where the treasure is.

----------


## paddyfool

When do we release these Egyptian mummies we've got caged up in the back?

Because of the curse.

----------


## totadileplayz

Why do you keep killing kittens under the light of the full moon, in front of a studio audience? 

There is such a thing as too much butter.

----------


## Xihirli

And where are the catapults on your sand castle?

Only his left ear, right kidney, heart, liver and spleen. Oh, and three pints of blood.

----------


## Rogan

> Only his left ear, right kidney, heart, liver and spleen. Oh, and three pints of blood.


How much did it cost him? 

I'll take answer B.

----------


## Personification

17.) (10 pts.) Do you understand what a short answer question is? Please use between 50 and 100 words in your answer.


Zounds, I am sped! Or at least accelerated!

----------


## Velaryon

Prithee, wilt though hasten thy departure?

Yes, but first you have to remove it and set it on fire.

----------


## paddyfool

I want to see the Great Wall of China

You're such a geek.

----------


## Dire Moose

Hey, did you know that squirrels arent actually fireproof?

Please dont ask me how I know that.

----------


## Xihirli

Well, congratulations! You've won Who Wants to be a Millionaire!? Could you give us any comments on the final question on the names, phone numbers and social security information of the showrunners' families? 

Grab hold to the HOPE Rope and dont LET GO...

----------


## totadileplayz

What should I do? 

I see you.

----------


## Rogan

Hey, did my experiment to become invisible work? 

_Yes? Eh, wait a second..._ *No!*

----------


## Caerulea

Hey, can I borrow your kidney for a few hours? 

As you wish sir.

----------


## Dire Moose

I need to check the depth of this hole. Would you please take the other end of this tape measure and jump into it?

Well, thats a shame. I liked him.

----------


## totadileplayz

> I need to check the depth of this hole. Would you please take the other end of this tape measure and jump into it?
> 
> Well, thats a shame. I liked him.


Why the hell did you jump inside the hole instead? I thought you were going to murder the man! 

I value secrecy over your life sir.

----------


## Rogan

> I value secrecy over your life sir.


But you *know* I am in your team! Why do you still want to kill me?

No comment...

----------


## Dire Moose

I attack Zeus with my dagger! How much damage do I do?

I cant believe anyone could possibly be that stupid.

----------


## Rogan

> I cant believe anyone could possibly be that stupid.


Why do you want to remove the big sign "Don't take a bath in the lava"?

That will be three million dollars.

----------


## Xihirli

I'd like this kazoo, please.

Well now you're just making stuff up.

----------


## Velaryon

Why did the mafia, the Chicago Cubs, and the President of Burundi team up to rig a poker game?

The answer should be obvious.

----------


## Lacco

Can you tell me an eight-letter word - easy to see, recognize, or understand?

Heeeeeeey Macarena!

----------


## Rogan

> Heeeeeeey Macarena!


Do you still have that earworm?

[Skeptical voice]Red?  I think...[/skeptical voice]

----------


## Dire Moose

What color liquid did you say was splattered all over the cargo bay?

It was just lonely, sir. I thought it would like a hug.

----------


## paddyfool

So tell me again how you got a face full of porcupine quills.

We'll have none of that, thank you very much.

----------


## Personification

You, sir, how do you feel about this newfangled doohickey?

My lawyers have advised that I not answer that.

----------


## Pex

> You, sir, how do you feel about this newfangled doohickey?
> 
> My lawyers have advised that I not answer that.


Why is your location classified?

I know, right?

----------


## Dire Moose

Youre going to light a match? Are you aware that all these barrels are carrying alchemists fire, and there is about 500 gallons of it in here?

Im covered in bees!

----------


## Bucky

Why is there honey all over the floor?

The flag with a big red "X".

----------


## Rogan

> The flag with a big red "X".


So, what was your mark for the treasure? 

It was Xi, with the axe, in the craziest idea mafia game!

----------


## Caerulea

WHO CUT MY BIRTHDAY CAKE BEFORE I WAS READY?!

I'm pretty sure it's not important.

----------


## Velaryon

What was that thing I was supposed to remind you about?

The truth is, nobody cares.

----------


## totadileplayz

> What was that thing I was supposed to remind you about?
> 
> The truth is, nobody cares.


Did you know your friends don't care about you?

I wish that I didn't hurt so much.

----------


## Dire Moose

Did you enjoy babysitting my cat? I know she can be rather playful.

Doctor! Doctor! My brain hurts!

----------


## Laughing Dog

How did you get into my house?

The sad thing is, the genocidal sister _is_ the nice one.  The wallflower is a coward, and the purple-haired triplet is a vain glory-hound.

----------


## Dr.Gunsforhands

What do you think of the cover art for this manga I found in the garbage?

Don't worry! It's July!

----------


## Xihirli

Did you hear the ocean was on fire?

Well no need to be so serious.

----------


## paddyfool

What do you say to an old fashioned form of water storage that doesn't laugh at your jokes?

Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.

----------


## Rogan

Why don't you tell me anything about Peelee?



> Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.



Tastes like chicken.

----------


## Dire Moose

What do you think of my new puppy?

(incoherent screaming and gurgling)

----------


## totadileplayz

How does this all new biological torture device seem to be treating you? 

Hmm I need to recalibrate the lung flooders.

----------


## Rogan

> How does this all new biological torture device seem to be treating you? 
> 
> Hmm I need to recalibrate the lung flooders.


How can you improve the prototype biological torture device? 

You have five days!

----------


## Caerulea

How long do I have until my eye removal treatment? 

Anything but that!

----------


## Dire Moose

Ok, so you can either spend eternity in the bottom of the Abyss or eat this sandwich. Would you like to eat the sandwich?

Wow, sure is dark down here.

----------


## totadileplayz

What do you think of my New Dungeon?

Hmm, no I don't think so.

----------


## Xihirli

Hey, boss! I heard a noise in the bushes! Think its that big-shot hero come to kill us all?

Dont think of them as Doritos youve lost, because really, youve GAINED them.

----------


## Caerulea

You sold my Doritos to my evil twin!? 

oh I can't think how that could go wrong. Go ahead.

----------


## Rogan

> oh I can't think how that could go wrong. Go ahead.


Hey, do you want to help me lynch Xi?

I'm sorry, but I can't do this.

----------


## totadileplayz

Can you help town out, we have a weak hand right now?

Go right ahead.

----------


## Caerulea

Do you mind if I borrow your skull for a moment? Mine appears to have acquired a few holes. 

The skies shall rain vinegar and red food colouring!

----------


## Rogan

> The skies shall rain vinegar and red food colouring!


So,  how do you suggest the dramatic reveal power to work for a wolf?

Catch!

----------


## paddyfool

Is that a live grenade you're holding?

I must work harder

----------


## Lysbeth

What do you have in common with the horse from the Animal Farm, apart from being destined to be turned into glue?

Sure, if you want to catch fire.

----------


## Rogan

> Sure, if you want to catch fire.


Is it save to take a bath in gasoline? 

No, not even than!

----------


## Dire Moose

So you never passed any language or grammar classes? Even when it was really dumbed down?

Aauuugh! No, not the bees! Not the bees! Oh, theyre in my eyes! My eyes! Aaaaarrrrggghh!

----------


## Pex

> So you never passed any language or grammar classes? Even when it was really dumbed down?
> 
> Aauuugh! No, not the bees! Not the bees! Oh, theyre in my eyes! My eyes! Aaaaarrrrggghh!


Having bad luck with your Scrabble tiles?

I'll take one.

----------


## Rogan

> I'll take one.


I sell those fine hand-woven carpets. From real cat hair. Are you interested? 

I would kill for it!

----------


## Supagoof

What would you doOoo, for a klondike bar?

Tastes like chocolate and cream, with a side of cherry.

----------


## MornShine

How does revenge truly taste?

Precisely three. No more, no less.

----------


## paddyfool

So how many people do I have to kill to get a seat in here?

Ding! You have gained a level in Clown.

----------


## Supagoof

Why does this hamburger taste funny? I know, I take 2d6 pun damage...

I think I'll go try this new restaurant.

----------


## totadileplayz

What are you going to do after completing your hit? 

Turn it down!

----------


## Dire Moose

So I thought I would put on an audiobook version of the Necronomicon...

My hovercraft is full of eels.

----------


## Laughing Dog

And your are late for work because..?

I thought about asking "Why are you in my house?", but for some reason that joke seems stale.

----------


## Xihirli

Um... have you noticed we're robbing you, ma'am?


Oh, don't worry. None of it's mine.

----------


## Lacco

While I appreciate your blood donation, I need to ask... why did you bring it in a bucket... and why is there blood all over your body?

Because all you need is love, a .357 and Mike.

----------


## Pex

What is 'hammer', Alex.

I'd like to buy a vowel.

----------


## Personification

Hi, welcome to McDonalds. What can we get for you today?

No, I actually ordered the Diet Mountain Dew.

----------


## Dire Moose

At last, Your Excellency, I have created it! The Elixir of Life! Would you like a drink of it now, my Lord?

But I worked so hard for that!

----------


## Lacco

Do you want us to revoke your Hard Worker of the Month Award?

Only when I play my 24-string electric lute.

----------


## Personification

So, Mr. Bard, they say you can perform magnificent feats of magic, is it true?

Well, thanks, and I'm flattered, but that was actually _your_ kidney.

----------


## Lacco

Oooh, monsieur Lecter, you are wonderful cook! How did you manage to overcome the strong flavour of chicken kidney in the pie?

Let's get dangerous... tomorrow!

----------


## Xihirli

Shall we fight, side by side... sister?

Yes! Well, after my nap.

----------


## Dire Moose

Your Majesty, the barbarians are attacking the gates! Should we fight them before it is too late?

Well, it involved a monkey wrench, a bowl of chunky tomato soup, a roll of toilet paper, a chainsaw, and an outboard motor.

----------


## Lacco

He holds a sign in his hand. "Say, how were you able to catch the road runner...? Asking for a friend."

Once upon a time, in Paris, Paris, Kiribati...

----------


## Personification

So, Quentin, what's your next movie idea.

Tou know what I always say:
"Shoot from the pelvis and dance like Elvis."

----------


## Dire Moose

What do I do if Im caught in a gunfight in the middle of a nuclear bomb factory?

Ive never seen this much blood before.

----------


## ziproot

What are your last words?

Error 426: Upgrade Required

----------


## Personification

What do you say to get out of an awkward conversation?

Close. It's actually a video-game themed charity telethon with a bus motif.

----------


## Dire Moose

And what kind of gruesome torture device are you going to subject me to this time? An iron maiden?

Stop this train right now!

----------


## Personification

Did you see Detective Poirot walk through the aisle just a moment ago?

Never on an empty stomach.

----------


## Rogan

> Never on an empty stomach.


Would you like to try today's special,  Bloody Mary with real blood? 

I swear I'm innocent _this time_

----------


## Personification

Rogan, do you have an explanation for THIS one?

And I shall have... A PONY!

----------


## +5 Vorpal Bunny

So for our next adventure, my party, we shall each grab a mount. Al has the Troll, Bob has the Manticore and I, of course, will take the Dragon. How about you?

Well. That's the last time I roll _that_ dice.

----------


## Rogan

> Well. That's the last time I roll _that_ dice.


Did you really get a natural one ten times in a row? 

Sure, take it if you like it...

----------


## bug_sniper

Can I collect your discarded orange peels and turn them into candy?

No, you can't do that.

----------


## Velaryon

Do you mind if I just take all the money on the table here?

Look, we've already talked about this and the answer is three. Not two, not four, *three*.

----------


## Xihirli

Miss Frizzle, what was 2+2 again?

_DONT INTERRUPT ME WHILE IM ANGRILY NOT BEING AWARE OF MY SURROUNDINGS!
_

----------


## Pex

Hey there, Xihirli. How are you? I'm Pex.

Make it a double.

----------


## Rogan

> Make it a double.


Hey, what kind of poker combination should win you the most money? 

I'm dead, that's why!

----------


## Pex

How did Bruce Willis spoil The Sixth Sense?

Eh, I think that's overrated.

----------


## Velaryon

Have you heard about this thing called water? I hear everybody drinks it!

Don't be silly, _of course_ it was real blood.

----------


## Rogan

> Don't be silly, _of course_ it was real blood.


Hey, can you give me the receipt for the fake blood you used at Halloween? 

I'm a doctor, not an exorcist!

----------


## Xihirli

Hey, aren't you the uh... the guy who killed Satan? With the police box?

A player that starts without a king cannot lose.

----------


## TwilightSandwic

Why are you eating the chess pieces?

Love is a circus and everyone's a clown.

----------


## Rogan

> Love is a circus and everyone's a clown.


What is love? 

Baby don't hurt me!

----------


## Laughing Dog

... you said what to your mother-in-law?

No cat poetry this winter, sorry.

----------


## Smoutwortel

> ... you said what to your mother-in-law?
> 
> No cat poetry this winter, sorry.


Do you want to publish my poetry album?

They feared me, because i was too crazy, now they fear me, because I'm too sane. MUHAHA!

----------


## Rogan

> They feared me, because i was too crazy, now they fear me, because I'm too sane. MUHAHA!


So, did your therapy help you? 

Never stopped!

----------


## Xihirli

So when did you stop beating your kids?

Five. Actually, can I change my answer?

----------


## Dr.Gunsforhands

How many times can we change our answers?

Just... a long time preparing and a lot of olive oil.

----------


## TwilightSandwic

How do you slay a dragon?

If only someone will bother saving me.

----------


## Xihirli

Sweetie, you need to listen to mommy. Can you please come down from that tower?

I'll point at you also.

----------


## Dr.Gunsforhands

Were you planning to frame my brother for murder?

21 minutes.

----------


## MornShine

And how long does it take for the halfling to fully crystallize?

With a lime, naturally.

----------


## TwilightSandwic

How do you preform an exorcism?

I'm cold.

----------


## Pex

Which virus are you playing in the Pandemic Pageant?

Make mine purple.

----------


## Xihirli

Ah, Mr. Bond. Shall I prepare your death with some fine wine?

Yes, I would like some human coffee in my human mouth, please.

----------


## Dire Moose

And what can I get for you, brave defender of our society against shapeshifting alien parasites?

Not in MY house, you dont!

----------


## Dr.Gunsforhands

Moose, back me up here! Do I ever refuse to do the dishes?

It means don't eat it.

----------


## TwilightSandwic

Hey, what does it mean when an apple is glowing green and makes weird chanting sounds whenever I hold it close to my ear?


Sorry, but my 'w' key is kinda busted.

----------


## Smoutwortel

> Hey, what does it mean when an apple is glowing green and makes weird chanting sounds whenever I hold it close to my ear?
> 
> 
> Sorry, but my 'w' key is kinda busted.


Has your stutter transferred to your typing too?

We all fear the monsters we can nearly comprehend. Mine are just worse.

----------


## Dire Moose

What in the name of the gods is THAT? And what is it doing to my car?

AAAAAAAA! Get it off me! Get it off me!

----------


## ziproot

And what exactly do you want to name this creature you've discovered?

How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

----------


## Pex

And how is your 'w' key working, Ziproot?



That wasn't me.

----------


## TwilightSandwic

why did you just punch me in the face????


I would, but I'm sleepy

----------


## MornShine

Hey, did you want to crush our enemies, see them driven before us, and hear the lamentations of their women?

With extra sugar, please.

----------


## Lacco

How do you like your sacrifices, mr. Cthulhu?

Oh, no! What am I going to do with my Magikarp now???

----------


## Rogan

> Oh, no! What am I going to do with my Magikarp now???


Do you realize you just managed to catch the most powerful Pokémon ever? 

I'd like to kill Snowblaze, please.

----------


## Snowblaze

> Do you realize you just managed to catch the most powerful Pokémon ever? 
> 
> I'd like to kill Snowblaze, please.


So, how do you plan to out yourself as a wolf?

I think Rogan should die.

----------


## Taffimai

> I think Rogan should die.


How do you propose to solve world hunger?


I like them both equally.

----------


## AvatarVecna

> I like them both equally.


What are your thoughts about bussing Rogan vs bussing Snowblaze?

Truthfully, I've not given the matter much thought.

----------


## Snowblaze

Why are we taking over the Reverse Questioning thread with references to subforum events?

Plotting murder. Don't worry, not yours.

----------


## Smoutwortel

> Why are we taking over the Reverse Questioning thread with references to subforum events?
> 
> Plotting murder. Don't worry, not yours.


What're you doing?(in the voice of Isabella in Phineas and Ferb.)

The only winning move is not to play.

----------


## Rogan

> The only winning move is not to play.


Hey, why didn't you join the mafia game that's about to start? 

But that's boring!

----------


## TwilightSandwic

do you want to save the world?

There's a lot you can do in 10 minutes.

----------


## Dr.Gunsforhands

TS, why is our house filled with hermit crabs?

YYYYEEESSSSSS!!!

----------


## Taffimai

> YYYYEEESSSSSS!!!


How about also having tanks instead of feet?


Well alright then, because you insist. But I'm keeping the tuna!

----------


## Rogan

> Well alright then, because you insist. But I'm keeping the tuna!


I know you are more of a dog type, but could you please stop bothering me while I want to feed this stay cat?

No, that's another thread.

----------


## Lacco

Excuse me, good sir. I am trying to find my way out of this labyrinth, am I going the correct way?

Shut up and take my roastbeef!

----------


## Smoutwortel

> Excuse me, good sir. I am trying to find my way out of this labyrinth, am I going the correct way?
> 
> Shut up and take my roastbeef!


Could you refine this roastbeef with a fine steamed marinade of basilicum, ginger and cheese, some Jfalkasj sauce and a Fjasjkjk?

Never, did I know it, but I've always said it.

----------


## Pex

> Never, did I know it, but I've always said it.


What is Jfalkasj sauce?


I can be too literal sometimes.

----------


## ziproot

Did you just eat my horse?

Granted, but it's on fire.

----------


## TwilightSandwic

What is your favorite GitP thread?



I don't like it smoked.

----------


## Smoutwortel

> What is your favorite GitP thread?
> 
> 
> 
> I don't like it smoked.


Welcome by toddler inc. customer service. What's your complaint?

No thanks, one poisoning a day is enough.

----------


## MornShine

And does madam take her tea with cyanide?

Well, I find nitrogen very effective.

----------


## bug_sniper

Now, the ice lab is fine. But how do you deal with the rats in the break room?

Hey, you can't do that! That's cheating!

----------


## TwilightSandwic

what if I just eat the chess pieces?

But what about my dog!?

----------


## Smoutwortel

> what if I just eat the chess pieces?
> 
> But what about my dog!?


This was my explanation about how to care for your dependants. Any Questions?

No, I would rather get eaten by wookies, slowly.

----------


## MornShine

Hi! Would you like to hear about our proposition for the Reformatting of Galactic and Interplanetary Tariffs?

Well, I'd say Scrooge McDuck, obviously.

----------


## Taffimai

> Well, I'd say Scrooge McDuck, obviously.


Which fictional character would you say you have most in common with?


Ten gorillas and a basket of daisies.

----------


## TwilightSandwic

How much does this sandwich cost?



"gisgjoslkslssgjaid", of course

----------


## oogaboogagoblin

whats your favorite way to smash the keyboard?

the only way is yodeling

----------


## Smoutwortel

> whats your favorite way to smash the keyboard?
> 
> the only way is yodeling


I want to propose to my girlfriend on an alp, what would be the right to tone to start?

If carnival and eastern are on the same day.

----------


## Rogan

> If carnival and eastern are on the same day.


What's the right time to throw boiled and colored eggs at people? 

I am reasonably sure that I have absolutely no idea!

----------


## TwilightSandwic

Do you have amnesia?


I like chocolate.

----------


## Smoutwortel

> Do you have amnesia?
> 
> 
> I like chocolate.


Aren't there any sweets you like?

That should be clear. I ate a cheesburger.

----------


## oogaboogagoblin

"what the hells on your face?"

"step one chipotle, step two arson, step three mark zuckerberg"

----------


## Smoutwortel

> "what the hells on your face?"
> 
> "step one chipotle, step two arson, step three mark zuckerberg"


I want to give this person the impression they are on fire in as many ways as possible, what should I do?

The day star is burning us.

----------


## Dr.Gunsforhands

What did they say on the news this morning?

Uhhhh *checks calendar* Okay, still yes.

----------


## Smoutwortel

> What did they say on the news this morning?
> 
> Uhhhh *checks calendar* Okay, still yes.


Oh, I just found out the roadtrip would take three weeks instead of days. Do you still want to come?

Yes, they're real they're standing right here.

----------


## Rogan

> Yes, they're real they're standing right here.


Do you really think the braineaters are real? 

I don't like Monday!

----------


## Lacco

> Do you really think the braineaters are real? 
> 
> I don't like Monday!


Oh, Gr'svrtzhslghtg, Horror from the Beyond, Bane of Time... why did you eat all Tuesdays and not Mondays?

There's three of them: the blind one, the deaf one and the one singing "Coconut" while scratching his behind.

----------


## Laughing Dog

How many angels did you say there were?

Jury duty. *shrugs*

----------


## Rogan

> Jury duty. *shrugs*


Why... why did you try to enter the courthouse with a huge axe?

One burger, fries and a bottle of ginger ale, please.

----------


## Smoutwortel

> Why... why did you try to enter the courthouse with a huge axe?
> 
> One burger, fries and a bottle of ginger ale, please.


What does mister want to order?

It's obviously a swarm of killer bugs.

----------


## Pex

Why is the carpet moving?

 . . . 18, 19, 20, hold on . . . 21!

----------


## Smoutwortel

> Why is the carpet moving?
> 
>  . . . 18, 19, 20, hold on . . . 21!


Are all 20 guest here?

They locked their inner monster away to survive, I freed mine to survive.

----------


## Rogan

> They locked their inner monster away to survive, I freed mine to survive.


So what's the difference between you and guards of this asylum? 

Please say this again!

----------


## Smoutwortel

> So what's the difference between you and guards of this asylum? 
> 
> Please say this again!


Was Anlfdsa helpful?

You may have never heard of it, but that doesn't mean you never dealt with it.

----------


## Xihirli

Wait... what's an ID?

I had to take matters into my own hands to preserve the integrity of the mission

----------


## Pex

Why did you respond to Smoutwortel?



Being meta sometimes makes for a good joke.

----------


## Rogan

> Being meta sometimes makes for a good joke.


Why do you pretend to be the company that used to be called Facebook? 


It's a game which can be played by two.

----------


## Smoutwortel

> Why do you pretend to be the company that used to be called Facebook? 
> 
> 
> It's a game which can be played by two.


What is a dual player game?

It is nothing, but a product of our imagination and I happen to have a very active one.

----------


## Dire Moose

What is that thing trying to kill us all?

Bad Dobby! Bad Dobby! (bangs head against wall)

----------


## Xihirli

Bad Dobby! Use HEADBUTT on the wall!

Interesting you should ask.

----------


## Snowblaze

So... why are you standing over the corpse holding a blood-coated dagger?

That information is classified.

----------


## Rogan

> So... why are you standing over the corpse holding a blood-coated dagger?
> 
> That information is classified.


Hey Snow, what are the chances of us being a team in the next WW game?

We'll meet at high noon!

----------


## Lacco

How about a lunch?

Because I have no power at home.

----------


## Laughing Dog

So why are you camping inside of my freezer?

This is less than ideal, but still manageable.

----------


## Gold Leaf

This cave contains 100 fire-resistant trolls. Think you can take them on?

Ok, fine, I'll stop!

----------


## Smoutwortel

> This cave contains 100 fire-resistant trolls. Think you can take them on?
> 
> Ok, fine, I'll stop!


Could you please stop angering The Five in their presence?

You fear the woods, because of the possibility of dangerous individuals and love the crowds for their protection from that fear. I fear the crowds, because of the possibility of dangerous crowds and love the woods, because due to their fear of dangerous individuals the crowds don't come there.

----------


## Pex

Will you please come down from your treehouse already? It's time for dinner.



Pencils

----------


## Gold Leaf

> Will you please come down from your treehouse already? It's time for dinner.
> 
> 
> 
> Pencils


How am I supposed to clean out my ears?

Well, it's all a simple series of chemical reactions, you see.

----------


## Smoutwortel

> How am I supposed to clean out my ears?
> 
> Well, it's all a simple series of chemical reactions, you see.


Why is your house on fire?

Don't fear it's just Godzilla.

----------


## Gold Leaf

> Why is your house on fire?
> 
> Don't fear it's just Godzilla.


_What_ movie did you say we were watching with our 3 year old son?

We have cherry, lemon, pink, "blue", and pizza.

----------


## Xihirli

I'd like to hire a stripper. 

My hobbies are cooking and TAMING GODS.

----------


## TwilightSandwic

What is the perfect dating profile for a Pokemon Trainer?


An Oreo Cookie and Darth Vader.

----------


## Pex

What do you see here?

*Spoiler*
Show






Yes, I am happy to see you.

----------


## Laughing Dog

Did ya miss me?

...check, please.

----------


## Smoutwortel

> Did ya miss me?
> 
> ...check, please.


Would you like me to test whether or not your food is poisoned?

Its all about trust and verification.

----------


## Personification

If Dungeons & Dragons isn't Satanic, what _is_ it about?

Your answer is: "People treating this game like it's Jeopardy."

----------


## Dire Moose

What is the greatest problem facing humanity today?

Because we dont have anywhere near enough D-class personnel for that.

----------


## Smoutwortel

> What is the greatest problem facing humanity today?
> 
> Because we dont have anywhere near enough D-class personnel for that.


Why don't we try to combine every set of SCP's with each other and look at the effects?

I don't fear the experiment, I fear the result.

----------


## Gold Leaf

> Why don't we try to combine every set of SCP's with each other and look at the effects?
> 
> I don't fear the experiment, I fear the result.


What's the matter? Afraid to put a little Ice-9 in your drink?

You see, the problem with your plans is that you always let silly things like the laws of physics get in the way.

----------


## Personification

What was wrong with my proposal for the wedding menu?

If we're going to do that again, we'll need more horseradish.

----------


## Pex

> If we're going to do that again, we'll need more horseradish.


Do you want to invite the Levy's back for tomorrow's second Seder?

They were on a break.

----------


## Personification

I thought the Levy's work nights. How did they make it yesterday anyway?

In that case, I will, regretfully, settle for the zucchini.

----------


## Smoutwortel

> I thought the Levy's work nights. How did they make it yesterday anyway?
> 
> In that case, I will, regretfully, settle for the zucchini.


Could I see your ID.

Fire, fire, it's always fire.

----------


## Rogan

> Fire, fire, it's always fire.


Which element appears most in the roll a 1 thread? 

Best I can do is 4!

----------


## Snowblaze

> Which element appears most in the roll a 1 thread? 
> 
> Best I can do is 4!


So the DC on your last death saving throw is 5. What have you rolled?

I'm haunted by the ghost of Rogan.

----------


## Smoutwortel

> So the DC on your last death saving throw is 5. What have you rolled?
> 
> I'm haunted by the ghost of Rogan.


Why do you refuse to speak on Georges funeral?

Despair is only for those who can afford it.

----------


## Persolus

What's your secret to happiness?

With an elephant, a glass of lemonade, and a filing cabinet.

----------


## TwilightSandwic

How did you get your degree?

DELETE

----------


## Pex

What is your alternative to control?

I clap my hands.

----------


## Rogan

> I clap my hands.


How do you express excitement? 

It's somebody that I used to know.

----------


## Personification

Did Belgian-Australian singer-songwriter Gotye just wave at you awkwardly?

Yes, and if he had come here himself I would have told him so you pretentious armadillo!

----------


## Smoutwortel

> Did Belgian-Australian singer-songwriter Gotye just wave at you awkwardly?
> 
> Yes, and if he had come here himself I would have told him so you pretentious armadillo!


Can you handle dating *my* brother?

The only thing scarier is your displeased frown.

----------


## Rogan

> The only thing scarier is your displeased frown.


Why are you immune to my flirty eyes? 

Of course I know him, it's *you*!

----------


## Pex

> Why are you immune to my flirty eyes? 
> 
> Of course I know him, it's *you*!


Do you know your favorite commentator?

I'd buy that for a dollar.

----------


## Smoutwortel

> Do you know your favorite commentator?
> 
> I'd buy that for a dollar.


I want candy how am I supposed to get candy in this dump?

Did I forget this?

----------


## Rogan

> Did I forget this?


Why are you not wearing any pants???

One bottle of rum and a loaded gun, please.

----------


## Smoutwortel

> Why are you not wearing any pants???
> 
> One bottle of rum and a loaded gun, please.


What can Sleazy Joe do for you today?

Violence isn't the answer. It's the question and the answer is yes.

----------


## Personification

Alex Mayim Ken, what is violence?

Please, tell me the odds.

----------


## Smoutwortel

> Alex Mayim Ken, what is violence?
> 
> Please, tell me the odds.



There's a small risk this procedure might turn out badly. Do you want to continue?

Thanks now *I* have a knife.

----------


## Dire Moose

Look, Im juggling all these knives! Want to learn howOOPS SORRY! *schlurkt*

Full speed ahead, sailor!

----------


## Rogan

> Full speed ahead, sailor!


Captain, are you sure we should chase an entire fleet all alone? 

By the power invested in my by nobody, I declare you innocent.

----------


## Personification

Greg, what are you doing with that blindfold and those scales? Greg... GREG?!

You misunderstand me, sir. I was simply complimenting your taste in... er... music.

----------


## animorte

> You misunderstand me, sir. I was simply complimenting your taste in... er... music.


Do you have a problem with the way I march, soldier?!

Oh, thats the barrel of gummies _you_ asked for.

----------


## Dr.Gunsforhands

Rrrph? _(Their mouth full of gummies. It is impossible to understand them.)_

Indeed! Behold! *lifts curtain*

----------


## Pex

Do you have guns in places besides your hands?

I hadn't thought of that!

----------


## Rogan

> I hadn't thought of that!


So... why did you drive through 3 states, going over the speed limit, chased by the police, causing at least 5 crashes on the way, used an axe to force my door open and cried "Happy Birthday" instead of simply using a phone call?

It's a boy!

----------


## Personification

What are you eating?

Strawberry Marshmallows!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

----------


## Bucky

Quick, I need an impact-absorbing liner for my stunt helmet. What do we have?

99.9% pure oxygen.

----------


## Dire Moose

What kind of atmosphere did we use for the cargo hold with all the explosives in it, again?

I wouldnt do that; its rather temperamental.

----------


## Rogan

> I wouldnt do that; its rather temperamental.


Hey, can I pet your fire breathing lizard?

About one in a million.

----------


## animorte

> About one in a million.


What was that Yzma song about?

Uh, no actually. The H is silent.

----------


## Dr.Gunsforhands

How do you pronounce your name? HHaHHnimoHHHHHrtHHHHeH?

The grocery store has a dispenser of them in the produce section. They won't mind if you take some.

----------


## animorte

> How do you pronounce your name? HHaHHnimoHHHHHrtHHHHeH?
> 
> The grocery store has a dispenser of them in the produce section. They won't mind if you take some.


Where can I find those "ready-for-tripping" banana peels?

I gave the keys to your valet, obviously!


_Your response to mine gave me quite a laugh, thank you!_

----------


## Dire Moose

Dude, wheres my car?

(pterodactyl noises)

----------


## Rogan

> (pterodactyl noises)


So, what do you think a dinosaur would sound like?

_ Standing before a burning building_ 
There was a spider, I swear!

----------


## Gold Leaf

So, _now_ do you understand why we had to ban you from Free Flamethrower Day?

It's the single WORST financial decision EVER.

----------


## Smoutwortel

> So, _now_ do you understand why we had to ban you from Free Flamethrower Day?
> 
> It's the single WORST financial decision EVER.


What do you think of investing in the PAF(Puppy abuse foundation)?

I didn't do it.

----------


## Pex

Did you ask Gold Leaf his opinion on investing in the Puppy Abuse Foundation?

Oh, I'm being too literal am I?

----------


## ziproot

> Did you ask Gold Leaf his opinion on investing in the Puppy Abuse Foundation?
> 
> Oh, I'm being too literal am I?


Did you know that this is a game and the questions aren't actually being asked by the commenters?

EDIT: Oops, forgot an answer.

----------


## Rogan

> EDIT: Oops, forgot an answer.


Hey, was there something missing? 

I'm sorry, but I don't speak English...

----------


## Smoutwortel

> Hey, was there something missing? 
> 
> I'm sorry, but I don't speak English...


Could thou assist my person in devising a journey to the Kilumanjaro dear sir?

I stole it of course.

----------


## Personification

A Titanium Card?! How the cuss did you qualify for this?

It's from the movie adaptation of Fantastic Mr. Fox. Yes, that is my answer for the purpose of the game.

----------


## Rogan

> It's from the movie adaptation of Fantastic Mr. Fox.


Hey, you didn't come up with this question on your own, where did you steal it? 

I'm not going to say anything without my lawyer!

----------


## Dire Moose

Hello, Im new in town and looking for a friend. What is your name?

It is detestable in the eyes of the gods.

----------


## animorte

Would you like some buttered toast?

Only under one condition: you have to let me name one.

----------


## Rogan

> Only under one condition: you have to let me name one.


Hey, would you like to donate some of your organs?

I love you too.

----------


## Pex

What do you think of Bono's early work?

Of course I do!

----------


## Dire Moose

Anyone want to taste-test this drink for poison?

No! Not that! Anything but that!

----------


## Xihirli

Are you ready to talk, or shall I get out the SOFT CUSHIONS?!

The suffering of others creates the sweetest syrup.

----------


## Rogan

> The suffering of others creates the sweetest syrup.


Why are you doing this to me? 

The killer was a giant squirrel!

----------


## Dire Moose

What really killed the dinosaurs?

Iä! Iä! Cthulhu fhtagn! Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!

----------


## TwilightSandwic

What did she text you?


Dark and bitter

----------


## Rogan

> Dark and bitter


How do you like your chocolate? 

Cause he's a traitor!

----------


## Xihirli

Aw, why cant we let him in? Hes cute!

Mom, you say that about every boy I bring home!

----------


## Smoutwortel

> Aw, why canÂt we let him in? HeÂs cute!
> 
> Mom, you say that about every boy I bring home!


Are you gonna finish that?

NO, I just finished driving them to extinction.

----------


## animorte

> NO, I just finished driving them to extinction.


You want to help me grow some potatoes?

But Im not trained to fix it

----------


## Smoutwortel

> You want to help me grow some potatoes?
> 
> But Im not trained to fix it


Can you help me with my problem with my nuclear power plant?

If I had known that I would have enjoyed it more.

----------


## Dire Moose

You did realize I sent you a video game for your birthday, not a candy bar, right?

Just because Pluto isnt classified as a planet doesnt mean it doesnt exist anymore. You people are too dramatic.

----------


## Smoutwortel

> You did realize I sent you a video game for your birthday, not a candy bar, right?
> 
> Just because Pluto isnt classified as a planet doesnt mean it doesnt exist anymore. You people are too dramatic.


So now that we got rid of Pluto who shall we destroy next?

Lay that down it's a tool not a toy.

----------


## Rogan

> Lay that down it's a tool not a toy.


Hey, can I play with your chainsaw? 

*Beeb beeb beeb*

----------


## MornShine

> *Beeb beeb beeb*


Alright, you infernal printer, are you going to work this time?

Well, yes, but with a twist.

----------


## animorte

> Well, yes, but with a twist.


Did you bring the drinks for my 5-year-olds birthday party?

My kid picked out my clothes today.

----------


## Rogan

> My kid picked out my clothes today.


Why won't you take off your coat inside?

Sorry, I'm busy at the moment, please come back in three months.

----------


## Dire Moose

Could you pass me a slice of pizza, please?

And the really horrifying part: Its not a duck. It never was a duck.

----------


## Rogan

> And the really horrifying part: Its not a duck. It never was a duck.


Why are you staring at the picture of this rabbit?

The bomb will explode in nine hours, five minutes and twenty-seven seconds.

----------


## Pex

Why did The Joker put 32,727 jelly beans into the hour glass?

Yes, I do have that.

----------


## Personification

Do you have any idea how STUPID this is?!?!?!?

It was only ONE parakeet!

----------


## Dire Moose

Excuse me, sir. The X-ray tech said you stuffed what up your rear end again?

You may feel some slight discomfort.

----------


## Rogan

> You may feel some slight discomfort.


What's going to happen if I refuse to help you?

No <insert name of the poster before here>, I expect you to enjoy it!

----------


## bug_sniper

This kefir tastes like spoiled milk! Do you expect me to throw up!?

Because you rolled a 1.

----------


## Dire Moose

Why are all my limbs missing?

Im sorry, I forgot I had it on automatic.

----------

