Ewww... That's just NASTY!! [Creature]

[Zeta Kai]

I'm not sure if this has been done, but it seems pretty obvious to me.

Golem, Dung
Large Construct
Hit Dice: 12d10+30 (112HP)
Initiative: -2
Speed: 20’ (4 squares, cannot run)
Armor Class: 17 (-1 size, -2 Dex, +10 natural); touch 7; flat-footed 17
Base Attack/Grapple: +9/+19
Attack: Slam +13 melee (2d10+6)
Full Attack: Slam +13 melee (2d10+6)
Space/Reach: 10’/10’
Special Attacks: Berserk, Dung Spray, Nauseous Aura
Special Qualities: Construct traits; Damage Reduction 10/Bludgeoning; Darkvision 60’; Immunity to Magic; Low-Light Vision
Saves: Fort +4, Ref +2, Will +4
Abilities: Str 22 (+6), Dex 7 (-2), Con -- (+0), Int -- (+0), Wis 11 (+0), Cha 1 (-5)
Skills: N/A
Feats: N/A
Environment: any
Organization: solitary or pile (2-5)
Challenge Rating: 8
Treasure: N/A
Alignment: always Neutral
Advancement:
Level Adjustment: N/A

This disgusting being has a crudely-shape humanoid body made from dung, ranging from desiccated droppings to fresh wet fecal matter. A swarm of flies buzz around its shapeless mass as waves of nearly-visible stench waft from the foul automaton. It wears no clothing whatsoever.

Made by only the most perverse tribal shamans or zealous devil-worshippers, Dung Golems are the poorly-made bastardizations of more traditional golems. Only vaguely resembling a living creature, they look much more like what they really are: big heaps of manure.

A Dung Golem cannot speak or make any vocal noise. It walks and moves with a slow, clumsy gait. It stands about 8½’ tall & weighs almost 700 pounds.

Combat
Golems are tenacious in combat and prodigiously strong as well. Being mindless, they do nothing without orders from their creators. They follow instructions explicitly & are incapable of any strategy or tactics. They are emotionless in combat & cannot be provoked.

A golem’s creator can command it if the golem is within 60’ & can see & hear its creator. If not commanded, a golem usually follows its last instruction to the best of its ability, though if attacked it returns the attack. The creator can give the golem a simple command to govern its actions in his or her absence. The golem’s creator can order the golem to obey the commands of another person (who might in turn place the golem under someone else’s control, & so on), but the golem’s creator can always resume control over his creation by commanding the golem to obey him alone.

• Berserk (Ex): when a Dung Golem enters combat, there is a cumulative 1% chance each round that its elemental spirit breaks free & the golem goes berserk; the uncontrolled golem goes on a rampage, attacking the nearest living creature or smashing some object smaller than itself if no creature is within reach, then moving on to spread more destruction; once a Dung Golem goes berserk, no known method can reestablish control; it takes 1 minute of inactivity by the golem to reset the golem’s berserk chance to 0%

• Dung Spray (Ex): once every 1d6+4 rounds, a Dung Golem can emit a 40’ cone of watery dung from its hands; all creatures struck by this fetid spray must succeed a Fortitude save (DC16) or be knocked prone; they must also succeed a Fortitude save (DC12) or become nauseated for 1d4+3 rounds

• Nauseous Aura (Ex): a Dung Golem smells so foul that all creatures within 20’ must make a Fortitude save (DC12) each round or become sickened for 1 round; also, any creature that comes in contact with the Dung Golem must succeed a Fortitude save (DC12) or become nauseated for 1d4+3 rounds

• Immunity to Magic (Ex): a Dung Golem is immune to any spell or spell-like ability that allows spell resistance

Construction
A Dung Golem’s body must be sculpted from a single well-packed heap of fresh manure weighing at least 1,000 pounds; this manure must be collected from Magical Beasts only, & treated with a rare fragrant oil worth 700GP. Creating the body requires a Craft: Sculpting check (DC15); it also requires hourly Fortitude saves (DC12) to resist becoming nauseated by the rank odor.

CL 12th; Craft Construct, animate objects, commune, limited wish, transmute mud to rock, caster must be at least 12th level; Price 55,000GP; Cost 27,500GP + 2,200XP.

[BisectedBrioche]

I just spent the afternoon shoveling donkey ****, I can honestly say that that thing's pure evil.

[Fualkner Asiniti]

I saw a dung elemental, but not a golem... Good monster Zeta!

[Cryopyre]

The Excremental

[Tengu]

I think that this creature needs the ability to be harmed by Gust of Wind and similar spells.

[ChrisMcDee]

Gross!

Awesome.

This could certainly bring a certain flavour to some areas of a setting.

[Cyrano]

Someone had to collect 700 pounds of Owlbear dung to make this, guys. The creator of this needs a +30 bonus to Workaholic.

[Zeta Kai]

The Excremental

Dammit, that's brilliant!

*slaps forehead*

I wish that I had thought of that.

[Cryopyre]

Dammit, that's brilliant!

*slaps forehead*

I wish that I had thought of that.

Don't give me too much credit, it's from "Dogma" the movie

[Zeta Kai]

Oh, you mean the Golgothan ---- Demon! Yeah, that was sort of the inspiration for this. Although I do not recall them refering to it as an Excremental. Great name, anyway. If this critter were an Elemental & not a Golem, I'd name it that instead.

[firepup]

great, I'll be yoinking this now to send after my party later.