Raven Queen Warlock Patron Revised [PEACH]

[MagneticKitty]

Here's a version I made more matching the current style of subclasses:
You can find it here.
Let me know your thoughts about balance and theming

Here's a version as close to the original as I could make, removing as much of the weird unintended jank as possible (such as merging with an invincible raven)

[JNAProductions]

GM Binder always glitches the formatting on my laptop.
Any chance we can get a version posted in the Playground itself?

If you need formatting help, this thread has what you need.

[Garfunion]

I’m not sure what theme you are going for. My understanding of the Raven Queen is she does not like the undead, for they disrupt the natural order of things. She does not pass judgment on the living unless such being seek to become and/or summon/control undead.

Your “close to the original version” seems more interesting with the familiar. Also Darkvision is a bad feature when the warlock can pick up the Devil’s Sight invocation, which provides far superior vision.

Sentinel Raven
I will drop the second paragraph feature and the last paragraph feature. Provide the raven with flyby attack and shared senses with their master. The shared senses mean if their master has darkvision, the raven has darkvision if the master has devil’s sight, the raven has devil’s sight.

[MagneticKitty]

I’m not sure what theme you are going for. My understanding of the Raven Queen is she does not like the undead, for they disrupt the natural order of things. She does not pass judgment on the living unless such being seek to become and/or summon/control undead.

Your “close to the original version” seems more interesting with the familiar. Also Darkvision is a bad feature when the warlock can pick up the Devil’s Sight invocation, which provides far superior vision.

Sentinel Raven
I will drop the second paragraph feature and the last paragraph feature. Provide the raven with flyby attack and shared senses with their master. The shared senses mean if their master has darkvision, the raven has darkvision if the master has devil’s sight, the raven has devil’s sight.

The theme is: recreating the UA in a way that is not broken and janky. XD
so I used their theming they provided for us and just updated the wording and got rid of the implications of becoming an invincible raven.

I don't think getting darkvision is a problem... that's like complaining that Gloomstalker ranger gets darkvision when you could just play an elf?

Also the second and last paragraph are there because that's how the original was. I was trying to keep all I could from the original, simply fixing the jank. perhaps you weren't familiar with the original, and in that case Here you go

[MagneticKitty]

GM Binder always glitches the formatting on my laptop.
Any chance we can get a version posted in the Playground itself?

If you need formatting help, this thread has what you need.

Spoiler: ver 1, Closer to how subclasses seem to be currently designed

Show

Warlock: The Raven Queen (Revised)

Your patron is the Raven Queen, a mysterious being who rules the Shadowfell from a palace of ice deep within that dread realm. The Raven Queen watches over the world, anticipating each creature’s death and ensuring that it meets its end at the proscribed time and place. As the ruler of the Shadowfell, she dwells in a decayed, dark reflection of the world. Her ability to reach into the world is limited. Thus, she turns to mortal warlocks to serve her will. Warlocks sworn to the Raven Queen receive visions and whispers from her in their dreams, sending them on quests and warning them of impending dangers.

The Raven Queen’s followers are expected to serve her will in the world. She concerns herself with ensuring that those fated to die pass from the world as expected, and bids her agents to defeat those who seek to cheat death through undeath or other imitations of immortality. She hates intelligent undead and expects her followers to strike them down, whereas mindless undead such as skeletons and zombies are little more than stumbling automatons in her eyes.
Expanded Spell List

The Raven Queen lets you choose from an expanded list of spells when you learn a warlock spell. The following spells are added to the warlock spell list for you.
Raven Queen Expanded Spells
Spell Level Spells
1st False Life, Sanctuary
2nd Silence, Spiritual Weapon
3rd Feign Death, Speak with Dead
4th Ice Storm, Locate Creature
5th Commune, Cone of Cold

Sentinel Raven

Starting at first level you gain darkvision out to a range of 60 feet. If you already have darkvision from another source, its range increases by 30 feet. You may add your Charisma Modifier to your passive Wisdom (Perception) score and to Wisdom (Perception) checks.
Raven's Shield

At 6th level, the Raven Queen grants you a protective blessing. You gain advantage on death saving throws, immunity to the frightened condition, and resistance to necrotic damage.

Soul of the Raven

At 10th level, you gain the ability to manifest a pair of Raven or Skeletal wings from your back, gaining a flying speed equal to your current speed. You can create these wings as a bonus action on your turn. They last until you dismiss them as a bonus action on your turn.

Queen's Right Hand

Starting at 14th level, you learn the spell Finger of Death as an additional Mystic Arcanum. You can cast it once without using a Mystic Arcanum, and you regain the ability to do so when you finish a long rest.

Eldritch Invocations

At 2nd level, a warlock gains the Eldritch Invocations feature.

Chronicle of the Raven Queen
Prerequisite: Raven Queen patron, Pact of the Tome feature

You can place a corpse’s hand or similar appendage on your Book of Shadows and ask one question aloud. After 1 minute, the answer appears written in blood in your book. The answer is provided by the dead creature’s spirit to the best of its knowledge and is translated into a language of your choice. You must use this ability within 1 minute of a creature’s death, and a given creature can only be asked one question in this manner.

Raven Queen’s Blessing
Prerequisite: Raven Queen patron, eldritch blast cantrip

When you score a critical hit with your eldritch blast cantrip, pick yourself or an ally you can see within 30 feet of you. The chosen creature can immediately gain 1d8 + your Charisma Modifier in hit points.

Raven Queen's Sentinel
Prerequisite: Raven Queen patron, Pact of the Chain feature

Any allies within 15 feet of your Familiar have advantage on saving throws against becoming frightened. This applies even when you are merged with your familiar. You may replace the Raven's statistics (but not size or appearance) with any of the pact of chain familiar choices. Additionally you learn the Spare the Dying Cantrip.

Spoiler: ver 2, as close to the original as possible

Show

Warlock: The Raven Queen (Revised)

Your patron is the Raven Queen, a mysterious being who rules the Shadowfell from a palace of ice deep within that dread realm. The Raven Queen watches over the world, anticipating each creature’s death and ensuring that it meets its end at the proscribed time and place. As the ruler of the Shadowfell, she dwells in a decayed, dark reflection of the world. Her ability to reach into the world is limited. Thus, she turns to mortal warlocks to serve her will. Warlocks sworn to the Raven Queen receive visions and whispers from her in their dreams, sending them on quests and warning them of impending dangers.

The Raven Queen’s followers are expected to serve her will in the world. She concerns herself with ensuring that those fated to die pass from the world as expected, and bids her agents to defeat those who seek to cheat death through undeath or other imitations of immortality. She hates intelligent undead and expects her followers to strike them down, whereas mindless undead such as skeletons and zombies are little more than stumbling automatons in her eyes.

Expanded Spell List

The Raven Queen lets you choose from an expanded list of spells when you learn a warlock spell. The following spells are added to the warlock spell list for you.
Raven Queen Expanded Spells
Spell Level Spells
1st False Life, Sanctuary
2nd Silence, Spiritual Weapon
3rd Feign Death, Speak with Dead
4th Ice Storm, Locate Creature
5th Commune, Cone of Cold

Sentinel Spirit
Starting at 1st level, you gain the service of a spirit sent by the Raven Queen to watch over you. You learn the spell Find Familiar, and can cast it without expending a spell slot or material components once per long or short rest. Sentinel familiar animals for example might resemble a raven, representing the queen herself; a vulture, representing decay and the balance of life and death; a pure white cat, representing the purity of life.

Pierce the Veil
Additionally at 1st level, you gain darkvision out to a range of 60 feet. If you already have darkvision from another source, its range increases by 30 feet. You may add your Charisma Modifier to your passive Wisdom (Perception) score and to Wisdom (Perception) checks. When an undead creature forces you to make a saving throw you may do so at advantage.

Soul of the Raven

At 6th level, you gain the ability to merge with your sentinel spirit.

You may use this feature a number of times equal to your proficiency modifier, your sentinel spirit must be alive in order to use this feature. You may stay in this form a number of minutes equal to your proficiency modifier times ten. You regain all uses when you complete a long rest. This feature follows the same rules as a druid's Wildshape (see next page), but you may only chose the form your sentinel spirit is currently.

Raven's Shield

At 10th level, the Raven Queen grants you a protective blessing. You gain advantage on death saving throws, immunity to the frightened condition, and resistance to necrotic damage.

Queen's Right Hand

Starting at 14th level, you learn the spell Finger of Death as an additional Mystic Arcanum. You can cast it once without using a Mystic Arcanum, and you regain the ability to do so when you finish a long rest.

Eldritch Invocations
At 2nd level, a warlock gains the Eldritch Invocations feature.

Chronicle of the Raven Queen

Prerequisite: Raven Queen patron, Pact of the Tome feature

You can place a corpse’s hand or similar appendage on your Book of Shadows and ask one question aloud. After 1 minute, the answer appears written in blood in your book. The answer is provided by the dead creature’s spirit to the best of its knowledge and is translated into a language of your choice. You must use this ability within 1 minute of a creature’s death, and a given creature can only be asked one question in this manner.

Raven Queen’s Blessing

Prerequisite: Raven Queen patron, eldritch blast cantrip

When you score a critical hit with your eldritch blast cantrip, pick yourself or an ally you can see within 30 feet of you. The chosen creature can immediately gain 1d8 + your Charisma Modifier in hit points.

Raven Queen's Sentinel

Prerequisite: Raven Queen patron, Pact of the Chain feature

Any allies within 15 feet of your Familiar have advantage on saving throws against becoming frightened. This applies even when you are merged with your familiar. You may replace the Sentinel familiar's statistics with any of the pact of chain familiar choices. Additionally you learn the Spare the Dying Cantrip.

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Soul of the Raven Expanded Information

While you are transformed, the following rules apply:

Your game statistics are replaced by the statistics of the raven, but you retain your alignment, personality, and Intelligence, Wisdom, and Charisma scores. You also retain all of your skill and saving throw proficiencies, in addition to gaining those of the raven. If the raven has the same proficiency as you and the bonus in its stat block is higher than yours, use the creature's bonus instead of yours. If the creature has any legendary or lair actions, you can't use them.
When you transform, you assume the beast's hit points and Hit Dice. When you revert to your normal form, you return to the number of hit points you had before you transformed. However, if you revert as a result of dropping to 0 hit points, any excess damage carries over to your normal form, For example, if you take 10 damage in animal form and have only 1 hit point left, you revert and take 9 damage. As long as the excess damage doesn't reduce your normal form to 0 hit points, you aren't knocked unconscious.
You can't cast spells, and your ability to speak or take any action that requires hands is limited to the capabilities of your beast form. Transforming doesn't break your concentration on a spell you've already cast, however, or prevent you from taking actions that are part of a spell, such as Call Lightning, that you've already cast.
You retain the benefit of any features from your class, race, or other source and can use them if the new form is physically capable of doing so. However, you can't use any of your special senses, such as darkvision, unless your new form also has that sense.
You choose whether your equipment falls to the ground in your space, merges into your new form, or is worn by it. Worn equipment functions as normal, but the DM decides whether it is practical for the new form to wear a piece of equipment, based on the creature's shape and size. Your equipment doesn't change size or shape to match the new form, and any equipment that the new form can't wear must either fall to the ground or merge with it. Equipment that merges with the form has no effect until you leave the form.

[Garfunion]

I don't think getting darkvision is a problem... that's like complaining that Gloomstalker ranger gets darkvision when you could just play an elf?

Yes but the gloom stalker gets additional features besides darkvision at that level and doesn’t have the option to gain a superior version of sight as a class feature.

Also the second and last paragraph are there because that's how the original was. I was trying to keep all I could from the original, simply fixing the jank. perhaps you weren't familiar with the original, and in that case Here you go

I am familiar with “The Crow” archetype.
And yes, the archetype is quite janky.

The reason why I suggested to remove the second paragraph from your Sentinel Raven was it interferes with the third paragraph feature. If you don’t want your raven to be targeted, you simply dismissed them as per the find familiar rules.

If you going to give the warlock darkvision at first level as a feature, you should probably add some additional features to make it really stand out.(looking at your current version)

[MagneticKitty]

Yes but the gloom stalker gets additional features besides darkvision at that level and doesn’t have the option to gain a superior version of sight as a class feature.

I am familiar with “The Crow” archetype.
And yes, the archetype is quite janky.

The reason why I suggested to remove the second paragraph from your Sentinel Raven was it interferes with the third paragraph feature. If you don’t want your raven to be targeted, you simply dismissed them as per the find familiar rules.

If you going to give the warlock darkvision at first level as a feature, you should probably add some additional features to make it really stand out.(looking at your current version)

This gets additional features at that level too. adding charisma to perception and gaining a spell. Even if you view the darkvision as a ribbon, that's fine? Or at the very least you're not suggesting what to add? you're confusing me.

telling me something isn't good enough without suggesting how to make it better or how to fix it isn't helpful.

I'll play around with it a bit more. I am likely keeping the darkvision, even if it's a ribbon


EDIT: How about this?

Spoiler: proposed change

Show

Sentinel Spirit
Starting at 1st level, you gain the service of a spirit sent by the Raven Queen to watch over you. You learn the spell Find Familiar, and can cast it without expending a spell slot or material components once per long or short rest. Sentinel familiar animals for example might resemble a raven, representing the queen herself; a vulture, representing decay and the balance of life and death; a pure white cat, representing the purity of life.

Pierce the Veil
Additionally at 1st level, you gain darkvision out to a range of 60 feet. If you already have darkvision from another source, its range increases by 30 feet. You may add your Charisma Modifier to your passive Wisdom (Perception) score and to Wisdom (Perception) checks. When an undead creature forces you to make a saving throw you may do so at advantage.

"Pierce the veil" representing your watchfulness for undead, and the barrier that separates life and death.

I also considered instead of "When an undead creature forces you to make a saving throw you may do so at advantage."
perhaps "you have advantage on saving throws against spells from the Necromancy school of magic". not sure which is better.

[Garfunion]

Spoiler: proposed change

Show

Sentinel Spirit
Starting at 1st level, you gain the service of a spirit sent by the Raven Queen to watch over you. You learn the spell Find Familiar, and can cast it without expending a spell slot or material components once per long or short rest. Sentinel familiar animals for example might resemble a raven, representing the queen herself; a vulture, representing decay and the balance of life and death; a pure white cat, representing the purity of life.

Pierce the Veil
Additionally at 1st level, you gain darkvision out to a range of 60 feet. If you already have darkvision from another source, its range increases by 30 feet. You may add your Charisma Modifier to your passive Wisdom (Perception) score and to Wisdom (Perception) checks. When an undead creature forces you to make a saving throw you may do so at advantage.

This is better but, how will the sentinel spirit interact with the pact of the chain feature?

Additionally how does “When an undead creature forces you to make a saving throw you may do so at advantage.” tie into Pierce the Veil feature?



ZzzZzz

[MagneticKitty]

This is better but, how will the sentinel spirit interact with the pact of the chain feature?

Additionally how does “When an undead creature forces you to make a saving throw you may do so at advantage.” tie into Pierce the Veil feature?
ZzzZzz

See the eldritch invocation section, already planned for.

and it's being wise to their tricks. Again, if you want to help please suggest alternatives and provide ideas. part of constructive criticism is helping, not just tearing things down.

Maybe this?

Spoiler: proposed

Show

Sentinel Spirit
Starting at 1st level, you gain the service of a spirit sent by the Raven Queen to watch over you. You learn the spell Find Familiar, and can cast it without expending a spell slot or material components once per long or short rest. Sentinel familiar animals for example might resemble a raven, representing the queen herself; a vulture or insect, representing decay and the balance of life and death; or a pure animal, representing the purity of life.

Pierce the Veil
Additionally at 1st level, you gain darkvision out to a range of 60 feet. If you already have darkvision from another source, its range increases by 30 feet. Your familiar also gains any special vision you have from this class.

At 1st level, you also become proficient in one of the following skills: Perception, Insight, Investigation, or Arcana.
Your proficiency bonus is doubled for any ability check you make that uses that skill.