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Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire
You laugh your head off instead and die of decapitation.
I roll to play guitar.
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Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire
You get played by a guitar. It stole your wallet!
I roll to draw an original character.
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Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire
You end up stabbing yourself in the brain with a pencil, and your ghost hears lawyers planning to sue your corpse for copyright infringement.
I roll to commit eat tortilla chip vertically.
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Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire
Somehow you now have a tortilla nose ring. And you picked a lime-flavored tortilla.
I roll to insert this thread into the vending machine with the help of TPBM.
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Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire
You insert this thread into your nose.
I roll to pull the thread out of Korith's nose.
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Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire
You pull a tooth out of his mouth.
I roll to give korinth a dental implant to replace it.
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Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire
You give him a Borg implant instead. It assimilates him. He then assimilates you.
I roll to win the game.
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Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire
You just lost the game!
I roll to revive dead memes.
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Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire
Lawyers follow your twitter account with prejudice and send takedown notices to every dead meme post you try to retweet.
I roll a str(Intimidation) check to forcefully convince the DM that intimidation should use your strength and not your charisma.
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Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire
She rules that causal paradoxes are busted and aren't allowed in her campaign.
I roll to fix a mysterious hole in reality.
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Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire
You cause the Big Crunch, the Big Rip, and the Big Freeze to happen all at once.
I roll to post a meme.
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Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire
You instead post a boring ten page long history essay.
I roll to hack into all the major countries' databases.
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Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire
...all of them? That sounds like a lot of work for the GM. It's easier to say you just get in trouble with whichever one can hurt you the most.
I roll to turn off the internet.
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Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire
You create an NK-class "Grey Goo" scenario.
I roll to contain the nanobots.
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Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire
You try to eat the nanobots. They use the opportunity to take over your brain, effectively turning you into a Borg drone.
I roll to shoot the Borg before it assimilates me.
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Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire
It assimilates you, then you shoot yourself and die. No one is happy with this.
I roll to bake a cake for a tiger.
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Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire
You accidentally bake the tiger into the cake, which otherwise turns out fantastic. It starts a new craze for baking endangered species.
I roll to capitalize on this new market.
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Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire
You accidentally turn the world into a communist agrarian society.
I roll to become the Exalted Holy God-Emperor of the Multiverse.
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Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire
You become the Exalted Holy God-Emperor of the Teenyverse, which is a universe in a universe in Rick's car battery.
I roll to speed up Rick and Morty season 5.
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Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire
You accidentally set fire to the production studios.
I roll to stop setting things on fire.
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Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire
They were always burnin' since the world's been turnin'.
I roll to fall asleep.
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Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire
You lay there, your thoughts wandering about as so many droplets befall a rainforest in a year. Sleep teases you from some distant horizon which eternally eludes your grasp. Eventually you decide to just turn on the TV and watch a marathon of infomercials from the 1970s until once again day breaks, and you haven't slept a wink.
I roll Perform (Bagpipes) to welcome the new day.
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Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Korith
You lay there, your thoughts wandering about as so many droplets befall a rainforest in a year. Sleep teases you from some distant horizon which eternally eludes your grasp. Eventually you decide to just turn on the TV and watch a marathon of infomercials from the 1970s until once again day breaks, and you haven't slept a wink.
I roll Perform (Bagpipes) to welcome the new day.
You play what sounds like a Truck Horn, which causes a major accident just outside your house, and a car ends up in your kitchen. And, no, insurance won't cover the damages.
I Roll to make a cup of coffee.
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Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire
You make a cup of superheated plasma and don’t realize this until your entire digestive system has been seared to a crisp.
I roll to fix the warp engines.
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Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire
You create a rip in the space-time continuum.
I roll to eat the universe.
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Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire
Quote:
Originally Posted by
georger0171
You create a rip in the space-time continuum.
I roll to eat the universe.
As you reach through the multiversal rift in order to consume the universe inside, you realize your hand isn't large enough so you go for the earth instead. As you reach out, you feel a large shadow covering your back. You look upward to see your own hand, outstretched over the entirety of the earth. You grab it, and panic breaks out worldwide.
You begin to pull the earth out from the rift, and you feel yourself shifting as you pull the earth away. As your hand crosses the threshold out of the rift, the earth exits the universe it is in and enters the larger one. This happens infinitely. You broke reality.
I roll to reboot the simulation.
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Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire
You enter the task manager to try to kill the universe simulator. A popup appears and says "This operation could not be completed. Access is denied." And you can't turn off or restart the computer because it became sentient and learned to power itself.
I roll to destroy this computer to end the simulation.
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Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire
“I can’t let you do that, Dave.”
With that, the computer blows you out an airlock.
I roll to kill SCP-682.
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Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire
It wakes up and destroys the world. Don't feel too bad; this would have happened eventually even if you'd rolled a 20.
I roll to build a new planet to live on.
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Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire
*black hole'd*
I roll to be a superhero.