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Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire
You grow a... goat?
I roll to kill said goat.
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Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire
Your pistol had only 1 bullet, which rebounds off the boulder behind the goat and hits your teeth. The terrified goat runs away and you have 2 more chipped teeth.
I roll find a dentist for georger0171.
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Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire
You find Dr. Gunsforhands.
I roll to dig up dinosaur bones.
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Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire
You dig up a live dinosaur., which promptly bites your head off.
I roll to start Jurassic Park.
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Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire
You start Jurassic Park.
I roll to outrun the dinos.
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Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire
Oh no! Looks like an enemy spy who totally isn't acting on my orders has opened all the security doors! Including the ones to the Tyrannosaurus Rex holding pens you decided to run to! I sure hope you have better plot armor than Gennaro!
I roll to use the mayhem to assassinate Georger and Book Wobmat for their signatures. Why do you have to have so many darn spoilers?
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Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire
You accidentally assassinate a moderator.
I roll to use my Phoenix Wright-like attorney skills to defend Kerching at trial.
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Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire
Objection! You can't defend someone in court without a license to practice law!
Fortunately, he's able to settle out of court. It only cost him an arm and a leg. Speaking of which...
I roll to amputate cleanly and painlessly.
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Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire
A nurse and an anesthesiologist have perfectly marked the area and numbed the patient so that you can do just that. So, naturally, you perform the operation on the wrong person entirely.
I roll to smuggle Kerching out of the country before their creditors realize what happened.
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Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire
You smuggle Kerching off this planet entirely and leave him to have his blood boiled in the cold vacuum of space.
I roll to get a law license.
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Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire
You are forever trapped in line at the RMV, trying to get a driver's license.
I roll to get picked up by a passing alien.
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Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire
You successfully spot a passing starship and get into its path. Its pilots still don't notice you. You splat against the vessel's reinforced bow.
I roll to bake a lemon muffin.
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Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire
You get the ingredients mixed up wrong and somehow end up baking it with extremely toxic jungle fruit instead of lemons.
I roll to [DATA EXPUNGED].
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Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire
[DATA EXPUNGED] [REDACTED]
MTF Omega-7 "Pandora's Box" was dispatched to contain the [REDACTED]
I roll to make the US communist.
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Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire
[Dr. Gunsforhands was banned for too much real-world politics]
I roll to hack the server and fix my account.
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Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire
You crash the entire website and delete it permanently. Attempting to fix this causes the server to burst into flames.
I roll to call the fire department.
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Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire
You somehow set the fire station on fire through the phone line... What the heck?
I roll to get a fire extinguisher.
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Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire
You get a flamethrower.
I roll a Strength (Athletics) check or Dexterity (Acrobatics) check to kick the flamethrower out of georger's hands before he burns down the rest of the office.
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Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire
You kick the flamethrower right in the fuel tank, breaking it and causing all the fuel to ignite at once. It explodes and the entire room is now on fire.
I roll to rescue the people trapped by the flames.
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Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire
You've got the place burned so thoroughly that the bodies are indiscernible from the ceiling ashes, rescuing the arsonist from a murder conviction.
I roll to rebuild over the open lot that was once an office.
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Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire
You build an office. A haunted office.
I roll to call the Ghostbusters.
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Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire
You dial in the number a few lines above the Ghostbusters in the telephone book and call some ghosts instead. They become friends rather quickly with your current hauntings.
I roll to exorcise these ghosts.
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Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire
You get a lot of exercise running away from the ghosts after you fail your initial will save vs fear.
I roll to use the spell Command Undead on the ghosts.
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Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire
You command them alright. Command them to set the thread on fire(again)
I roll to summon Cthulhu.
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Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire
You summon Cthulhu's baby sister, Emma. She manifests on your forehead and has a voracious appetite. She plays with your dreams much like a toddler plays with a train set, and occasionally you find yourself teleported to places she finds interesting.
I roll to investigate the strange phenomenon of georger0171 being inside the sarcophagus of a forgotten pharaoh during its opening in an Egyptian museum clean room.
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Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire
You get cursed with mummy rot and crumble to dust.
I roll to perform a demonic ritual.
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Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire
You perform a holy ritual and turn the ocean into holy water.
I roll to punch through the fourth wall.
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Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire
You get sucked into a nearby book and turn into one of the side characters losing your memories in the process. No more fourth wall breaking for you.
I roll to save georger0171 from their predicament.
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Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire
You try to enter a book to save me from my predicament, then realize you do not know how to enter a book. It only makes matters worse when you start jumping up and down on top of The Two Towers and the librarian asks you to leave.
I roll to save Book Wombat from his foolishness.
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Re: The "Rolled a 1" Game III - I Don't Want to Set This Thread on Fire
Without fourth wall powers, you end up pelting him with dice.
I roll to lmao.