I was just about to edit my last post to say exactly that :smallsmile:
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Is it okay that I'm both ace and volcel? Every time "Ace week" happens, I see a ton of people posting "asexuality is different from celibacy" and "it's okay to want sex but still label yourself ace" and basically nobody saying "it's okay to not want sex at all."
How bad of a person am I because I fit an offensive stereotype perfectly?
I'd say people are just saying that because it's contrary to the assumption. You can be ace and sex positive, sex negative, or sex indifferent (yo!), as well as being romantically still gay (yo again), bi or any other sexuality under the sun.
It's just that "people choose to be asexual" and "asexuals never want to have sex" are assumptions made, so there's not much need to assert them.
EDIT: I should emphasise that I have indeed seen positivity posts along the lines of "it's fine to want to be single", for what it's worth
Speaking of twitter, I'm chuffed to see Cis with the T trending, after everything that's happened the last few days (which I'd assume isn't an acceptable topic to discuss).
You're not a bad person at all! There are lots of ace people who are sex repulsed or just sex indifferent, so you are certainly not alone. Also, not all stereotypes are inherently offensive and they often exist for a reason (and "ace people don't like sex" is one of them). Sometimes people can go too far in trying to make clear that not everyone who is part of a community fits a certain stereotype, making the people who *do* fit that stereotype feel alienated. (Other examples of this I've seen this are "Not all gay men are flamboyant" and "not all bi people are promiscuous!" being said so often that the gay men and bi people who are flamboyant/promiscuous feel like they're doing something wrong/harming their community when that isn't the case at all).
Just swinging through to say hello and remind everyone that they're super awesome.
So, I don't know how many people here still read Rain, but this week's pages introduced (IMO) the biggest plot twist in the comic's 11 year history. It was foreshadowed many times years in advance, but it still completely shocked me, and I didn't see any commenters on ComicFury who predicted it.
I didn't see it coming, and I binge reread Rain every time there is a Rain Delay.
I mean, dayum.
We are coming up on the holidays, and I want to once again remind everyone that you are important, you are special, and you are loved.
And if you feel like none of that applies to you, PM me, and I will reaffirm it for you.
You are loved.
You are special.
You are deserving.
You are amazing.
You are awesome.
Good news everyone!
I have received an email from GRS Montreal. Within the next few weeks I'll be getting a call to arrange for my bottom surgery date!
That's fantastic! I hope it goes smoothly.
I'm more or less recovered from mine back in March, but I was told to be careful for at least a year.
I calmed myself down by remembering that all I need to do is show up, and then I get to sleep through it!
The first few days in hospital were pretty rough (all liquid diet, plus I discovered that my digestive system does NOT like painkillers), but after the bandages are off and you're mobile again, it's all plain sailing.
Surgery should be scary, it's a big deal, but the rewards outweigh the pain and recovery, hang in there!
This is also what I'm talking about (fully vaginoplasty, with a cavity).
While dilating 3 times a day is time consuming (until you're able to do it less), you'll find that after you're discharged (I was discharged after a week, which as far as I can tell is standard), it's mostly just a matter of taking it easy (and avoiding any heavy lifting, or straining yourself).
Fair, I'm just... scared. A part of me wants to go non-cavity because it'll be easier to take care of, but I'm worried about feeling "fake" or like a coward who chose this option for the wrong reason.
Thanks for the support.
Woo! That's super awesome! I'm actually recovering from a revision myself right now (going a bit rockier than expected but I think I'll be ok)
Agree with this. It's definitely a big thing and being anxious is totally legit. I will also say that personally I find dilating to be a chore that's annoying but doable (tho granted, in my case I had 2 months off work and 1 month working from home before I went down to 2/day, which certainly makes it easier, and idk about what your situation will look like during recovery). You've got time to think about this so give yourself some room to breathe.
If you wanna talk further/more privately then you're welcome to message me on discord.
There is no one right way to transition. We all have things we are and aren’t comfortable with and some things that are necessary, aren’t necessary, and some things we never wanted to do in the first place. For example, I never had any kind of trans-related surgeries at all, just HRT and legal changes, and I am content with that at this point. That changes nothing about who I am and makes me no less of a woman than someone who has undergone all the surgeries in the world.
You just need to figure out what works best for the results YOU want.
I'd like to talk to someone about being Pansexual. I'm confused. I was bisexual, then gay, and now I just don't know, intellectually. I feel gay, does that make sense?
I am sure you will get some great advice from people much more qualified than I, but I want to say this:
People are all different and the fact you do not feel comfortable fitting into someone else's labels is fine. Nothing wrong with you. You are thinking about and trying to find the path that best fits you. You do not need a hard label to do so. I have watched a few friends and two family members go through this and in each case once they stopped trying to force themselves into a pigeon hole box they felt better both about themselves and their lives.
Labels might help with some conversations, but in the end you are not the label, you are a wonderful person and should be patient with yourself as you explore and find your path.
Ok, I will go back to lurker mode. :smallbiggrin:
Sexuality is not solid, and it might change with the times. But you don't have to fit into any label, while as humans we like to categorise none of the buckets cover the full nuance of sexuality.
Maybe you'd be more comfortable with something like homoflexible rather than pansexual? Don't be afraid to associate with any identity, your sexuality is your sexuality and if you fit best in gay than you can be gay.
Just chiming in to say how happy I am this thread exists! Feeling very welcomed.
its been over two years since i last used this forum, but i'd feel awful if i browsed without saying hi to this thread. i definitely would not be where i am now without a place to talk about all the scary gender feelings i was having. but now im four years on hrt and thriving. (not really im very mentally unwell but that has nothing to do with gender)
anyways just wanted to spread some cheer and happiness while i remembered this existed. wishing ny'all just the absolutely gayest year imaginable
I’m still alive, and celebrating 5 years of being married to Mariah later this month. And I recently celebrated 4 years of HRT in November too.
Does anyone have recommendations for a queer-friendly TTRPG-focused Discord server?